Chapter 11

To Pass into the West

The next day Meli arose in the late morning. Her parents were still sleeping soundly, for the journey had taken a great toll on them. She quietly dressed and went down to the Hall of Fire to see if any of the others had arisen. She found three of the youngest children outside playing a game of chase and tickle. The sound of their laughter made her giggle and it drew them to involve her in the game. A fourth child stepped outside with a large puppy overfilling his arms. It belonged to one of the Halladur, but had attached itself to his heart upon first sight.

Meli chased the littlest one and snatched her up into her arms, tickling her as she kissed her. She was so cute Meli couldn't resist a cuddle before she began to swing her around in a gleeful ride. The breeze blew the child's braids and suddenly the puppy jumped down to chase them. Laughter sang loudly as the children and Meli played awhile with the puppy. Finally several parents came out to announce breakfast and the children scrambled to the dining hall to fill their hungry tummies.

Hunger twinges called to Meli also, but she wanted to see if her assistance was needed in the Great Hall. As she neared the entrance, the door opened and out stepped two of the Elders. Meli's heart jumped when she recognized one of them as Giliath's Father, Lord Randelin. The familiar sadness from long ago once again invaded her and she wondered if he knew the fate of his son. Stammering a little bit, she greeted them making every effort to express warmth. She offered to show them to the dining hall for breakfast.

"We would be delighted if you joined us, Melanna," said the other Elder.

She tried to remember his name as she recomposed herself. An awkward moment passed, and then remembrance came to her just in time. "I'd love to, Lord Dergen."

She felt immensely uncomfortable, not knowing what to say next. They walked in silence and it continued, until she had served them and sat down to join them. Almost immediately, they began asking her what had happened. They asked her where she was when all were captured. They wanted to know why she wasn't captured as well.

As she told most of her story, they continued with many questions, until finally Randelin inquired, "Melanna, did you see Giliath?"

Her heart trembled and she hesitated. Randelin saw immediately the discomfort the question gave rise to. "He is dead, isn't he?" He said softly. "I…I mean…he would have been here with you if …not."

His face was ashen and he had lost a tremendous amount of weight, yet the bold and authoritative stature he had always held remained. For the first time Meli noticed the family resemblance between him and his son.

Aching with memory of Giliath, Meli laid her hand upon his and softly told him, "Yes Lord Randelin. I found him in the back of the dining hall, near the cellar door. He must have fought very bravely for there were dead Orcs all around him."

Randelin had trained his son well. This news brought a small light to his eyes as pride in his son's skill showed through. He then bowed his head as the grief took him over, a great weight that pulled on his mighty shoulders.

Meli continued to explain how she placed his body in his bed as she did the others and closed up the houses so no one could disturb them. With disgust she told of how she disposed of the Orc bodies, then she bowed her head in respect and they sat in silence for a long moment.

Randelin's voice cracked as he broke the silence, "It must have been hard for you my dear." She looked up. He continued as a single tear trailed down his cheek, "Yes, I know he was to ask you to marry him."

Meli blushed deeply not knowing what to say. She sadly bowed her head once more as her throat threatened to reply with a great sob. She held it tight, fighting the emotion, finally tucking it away deep within herself, but not without a great struggle. They sat in silence for another moment as she resisted the emotion. Unable to control it, she quickly stood up and began to clear the plates; keeping busy served as effective distraction.

Dergen cleared his throat and began discussing their plans to journey to the Havens. "I think we should leave very soon, it will not be safe here for long."

Randelin looked at him with concern and agreed, "Yes, based on what Lord Elrond told us last night, I think it would be best if we all left as soon as everyone has rested and is able."

Meli's mind raced. She had just got her mother and father back! The thought had not occurred to her that they would leave Imladris, especially so soon!

"Surely Lord Randelin, you don't think the quest will fail?" She asked him, desperately trying to think of a way to stop them.

He looked at her with eyes that had seen far too much, trauma. "I will not even take that chance Meli, for our people have suffered enough."

She could not argue with that. Her heart sank, as she realized deep down it was best for them. For her self, the thought of leaving was completely out of the question. Suddenly she knew she was losing her family and her people once again. The two Elders continued their conversation as Meli finished cleaning up, listening intently, but not saying anything further. She gathered some food for her parents then politely excused herself. She walked slowly back to her room, a heavy mood shadowing her steps.

Her parents were awake and had just finishing washing and dressing. They both smiled as she entered the room, as though the sun itself had walked through the door. Once again, she was in their arms kissing them and telling them how she had never given up hope. The emotion of the morning overwhelmed her as she was in her Mother's arms and she wanted to weep, feeling like a small child again. Although she fought it, her Mother sensed her mood and comforted her as she had done all her life and the bonding between them grew ever stronger.

The morning faded into afternoon as they ate. The talk was light, and Meli knew she must tell them about the spell soon. It was a difficult thing and the thought had occurred to her not to ever tell them, to let them go into the west none the wiser. How on earth was she going to convince them that she should stay; it seemed impossible. She realized she had to tell them. Lord Elrond would never allow her to keep it from them, knowing how a father would feel.

So after they ate, she took them out onto her balcony where the sun was shining warmly for this February day. They settled upon soft cushion chairs around a gracefully carved table as a small breeze carried the leaves in gentle swirls about their feet.

She began with the dream. Her mother had also experienced dreams of foresight in her time, so they understood the significance of them. They knew that sometimes these dreams were given as guidance, yet this time it seemed to them to be offered to comfort. They had hope now; they would take the ship into the west and finally find peace without fear. And they wondered aloud who it would be among their people to give Meli such love on that ship.

Meli sighed before she continued. She knew she had to tell them though she knew it would break their hearts. Finally she mustered the courage and told them about Frodo, her eyes gleaming with brightness as she described him. Her mother could feel the love in her words. But her father could only feel sorrow, for his mind had been set on Giliath.

With great regret, she told them about the warning and waited a moment for the shock to settle down to some extent. Then, she continued with the events of the stabbing. They reacted with complete distress, but did not interrupt her; they allowed her to go into full detail of the council and her research after. She revealed the spell and the other occurrences until finally all fell quiet, though a look of worry, anguish and panic covered their faces.

After a few moments of intense reflection her father said with hoarse authority, "We must go swiftly to the havens! The sooner we get you to Aman, the better. We must seek healing and safety!"

Meli braced herself, remembering what the two Elders had spoken of in the morning. She quickly replied, "It saddens me Adar, to lose you again…but I will not leave. Not until I know he is safe."

Geren looked at her dumfounded. Meli had her rebellious stages in life, but this was ludicrous in his eyes. "You will leave if I say you will!" He demanded without raising his voice.

Meli had become bold when it came to her fear for Frodo and she quietly but respectfully said to her father, "Adar, I love you with all my being! I will not go. I did not give up hope for you…I will not give up hope for him. I will not leave him until I know."

She stood and walked away, heading down to the waterside, as utter pain invaded her heart for the new grief she was bringing them. She felt so selfish, so ashamed, but she knew she could not leave.

After a time, her mother found her. Meli was sitting on the yellow grass, her cloak wrapped tightly around her. She was crumbling leaves into a pile in front of her. She looked up startled, revealing her troubled face. Linanna sat down next to her daughter and gently removed a lock of hair from her cheek as she searched deeply into her eyes for understanding.

"Meli, I know how you must feel, being in love and wanting to be with him, to know he is safe. My dear, do you truly understand that if he should fail, you will die? I could not bear to lose you again." Meli frowned as her mother continued, "Yes. We thought all this time that you were dead. We assumed because they had not brought you with us that they had found you in your quiet spot in Carasdolen and had killed you."

This thought had never occurred to Meli, that her parents had thought she was dead. It made her shudder as her mother continued.

"And now we are to lose you again, only this time to certain suffering and possible death? What if they should capture Frodo and torture him?" She lifted Meli's chin and with heavy breath whispered, "You have no idea Meli, what that is like. To know my daughter is suffering it…"

Linanna sighed heavily as she opened the top of her dress from under her cloak revealing to Meli the scars she had received in Moria. Meli gasped as she looked upon her purple and mutilated skin. Remembrance of her own scars which she had already received made her hang her head in shame for the very thought of making her parents suffer further.

"I will go with you Nane." She whispered, "I will go."

Preparations for the journey began immediately. Clothes were the most time consuming issue the Colters had to deal with. However, their skills were efficient and the task was done making them ready within a week. Meli was deeply melancholic the entire time and was truly not much help. She spent much of the time gazing off into a void, expressionless and quiet. Even Bilbo could not cheer her. Her parents, though happy and content now to have their way, were growing more and more concerned at whether they were doing the right thing by her.

"What if Frodo were to succeed? What if she could not forget him? Would she blame us?" These thoughts and many others came to them as they saw how their daughter was handling the impending departure.

The night before they were to leave, Frodo's blanket of emotions billowed anew with a feeling of fear and urgency that overwhelmed Meli. She was alone in her room. Geren and Linanna were at the Hall of Fire with the others discussing the exodus. Heaving breaths forced their way deep into her lungs as her upper arms began to feel intense pain; it was as though they were straining to accomplish something. Suddenly she lurched forward as if she had been hit in the back between the shoulders. As she drew breath she felt the release of the chain mail circlets from a point on her back. A few moments passed, she waited in fear. Then rapidly her arms began aching again as if they were being forced into overuse. She reached a moment when a sigh of relief filled her. But it was short lived for now a sudden dread fell upon her. It was followed by a chill and she grasped at her heart as a deadly cold flowed through her. It brought memory of the wound in her shoulder and her eyes saw the silhouette of a crowned man, shadowed in grey white, a menacing scowl upon his face! She crouched down in fear and stayed that way for a while fighting within her heart the sensation of great pulling…pulling her to evil. When she was able to move again, she slowly made her way down the hallway in search of Elrond, hugging the walls as the exhaustion pulled at her. As she walked along the long corridor, she begged in her mind, that it was over and that Frodo would be safe.

She reached the library, but Elrond was not there. The light flickered and a cold darkness filled the room. Sadness could be felt thickly in the air of his home as she headed through the wing where his living quarters were. Finally she found him in the hallway just as he exited his daughter Arwen's room and he looked as though he was in pain.

"Meli, what is it?" he asked, becoming aware that she looked distraught. He led her into his sitting room and motioned for her to sit.

"Are you all right Lord Elrond?" She asked as concern for him took the forefront of her emotions.

"I am alright. Tell me what has happened?" He said in hopeless, almost listless tone.

As she began to detail the previous episode, he looked at her with bleak eyes and as she spoke she knew he had lost hope. This news sealed his fears.

She finished quickly saying, "I thought you would want to know, my Lord."

He looked at her gravely and said, "Yes, I am glad you told me. Well. You will be leaving tomorrow. Let us hope you make it to Valinor and find healing from this evil spell before too much more happens to you. Now, if you will excuse me, I have much to think over."

A thick lump formed in her throat as she sensed his mood. Her thoughts turned to Arwen. Meli could feel his hurt and bitterness and wondered what decision had been made. Had Arwen agreed to pass into the Undying Lands, forever; forsaking her love for Aragorn? Reluctantly and without another word, she left him to his privacy. All along the way, she worried about his well being.

Back in her room, her fear and depression intensely burdened her mood. She walked out onto the balcony and looked up at her star as the sound of chirping from the crickets and the hoots of the night owls busily filled the land. She began singing to the star in mournful song and all fell silent as her voice carried her agony high into the sky.

She stopped as a question suddenly entered her mind and she asked the bright star, "What is your name? I have never known your name."

"It is Eärendil" said her father as he walked up behind her. "Gil-Estel, he is the Star of High Hope. He is Lord Elrond's father." Meli looked puzzled. In answer, Geren began telling the tale, poetic and beautiful.

Eärendil was a mariner

that tarried in Arvernien;
he built a boat of timber felled

in Nimbrethil to journey in;
her sails he wove of silver fair,
of silver were her lanterns made,
her prow was fashioned like a swan,
and light upon her banners laid….

Sadness filled his eyes and they glistened in the light of the star as he finished the last verse.

…And over Middle-earth he passed

and heard at last the weeping sore

of women and of elven-maids

in Elder Days, in years of yore.

But on him mighty doom was laid,

till Moon should fade, an orbéd star

to pass, and tarry never more

on Hither Shores where mortals are;

for ever still a herald on

an errand that should never rest

to bear his shining lamp afar,
the Flammifer of Westernesse

Meli sighed as her father put his arm around her shoulders. She said, "I never knew this before. How it must grieve Lord Elrond to look up into the sky at night and long for his father. How did you know Adar?"

Geren squeezed her gently and replied, "Gandalf told us that tale, one night as we sat around the fire." He turned to look into her eyes, "You were very young then, and probably do not remember. Do not grieve for Lord Elrond, for the star surely brings him comfort as it does for all of us."

It was a while later. They sat in silence as they gazed into the fire. A soft tap sounded.

Linanna opened the door and exclaimed "Lord Elrond! All is well I hope! What brings you here at this hour?"

He stepped into the room, a serious look on his face and asked if he may have a moment of their time.

"Yes, my Lord." She said gesturing towards a chair on Meli's right.

He sat down and sighed as if he did not know how to begin. A smile fell over his face as he said. "I have received joyous news and wished to share it with you first Melanna."

She looked at him and her eyes kindled in the firelight as hope begged him on.

Elrond continued, "Gandalf is alive! He arrived in Lothlorien the day after the Fellowship departed."

Meli heaved a heavy sigh as if a tremendous load had lifted. Smiling brightly, she began asking many questions. Elrond replied, "I do not know what plan he has. I feel there is much yet for him to do. Now, I give you further news." Gravity came back into his voice for he knew it would not please Geren and Linanna. "I have received a request this night from the Lady Galadriel of Lothlorien."

Wonder came into their thoughts of this fair Lady they had heard of in songs. Elrond went on, "She is aware of the spell and has requested the services of Melanna. She feels this evil can be turned to good."

Meli's eyes lit up and she looked pleadingly at her parents. Geren and Linanna looked at each other in dread. They sat in silence for a moment as Meli held her breath.

"How can she be of service?" Geren asked.

Elrond explained, "She has constant contact with Frodo through his emotions. The Lady has many powers, of which I may not speak. This knowledge could be of use to her."

"Adar! Nane! Please!" Meli pleaded, as her fear for Frodo drove her words. "There is hope! Let me help him. I promise you. When the time comes, I will join you. I promise…even if it means leaving him once I know he is safe!"

With these words, they looked at each other. Their pain brought the realization that this situation could possibly make a difference. If they were to say no, and Frodo failed…Geren nodded his head as Linanna began to weep.

Meli flew into his arms thanking him over and over. She then went to her mother and held her tight, telling her, "Do not worry Nane, do not worry. There is hope."

For the first time in days they saw their daughter smile and it brought warmth back, though their hearts remained sad and fearful.

As word of Gandalf reached the ears of the other elves, joyous song rang out. Even Elrond joined in with his beautiful tenor voice and they sang deep into the night, lifting the hearts of all. This news brought hope to them, and the air about Imladris the next day was laden with serenity in their farewells as they looked to their lives in the west. But Meli still felt the burden of loss weighing heavily in Frodo's blanket and she grieved that he did not yet know of Gandalf's fate. So this news for her was bittersweet and she could taste it through Frodo's pain. She kept it inside and told no one, not even Bilbo.

As the eves were leaving, Meli stood in the courtyard, not far from the tree were she had hidden to farewell the Nine. Again all was quiet as the leaving surged bitter grief in those who had loved this land. The Colters passed first, and as her parents faded from view she felt a bit of her burden lift with relief that they would soon be safe and happy. Their parting was sad, yet Meli managed to smile at them to show she was now at peace. She hoped it would give them comfort. It wasn't until they were out of view that she let her smile fall for she already missed them greatly.

Next the Halladur passed, and she nodded in farewell to Nilde of whom she had come to love, hoping she would someday see her again. As Nilde's eyes met hers, they twinkled in understanding. It seemed to Meli there was a light of foresight in them that she had not seen before. They kindled with hope.

There were many elves leaving at this time. Few had decided to stay to serve Lord Elrond to the end. His sons Elladan and Elrohir were to continue serving this great land. Adreal had chosen to stay to care for them. For this Meli was grateful because she worried at how lonely Elrond was to become. He would need someone to take care of him. He would need some family around him. She looked up to see him standing on his balcony. His face was grim as he looked down at his daughter as she walked out of the gate. Arwen turned just before she passed, to look up at him, and Meli saw that there was no serenity in her eyes. Just sadness, as if all of life was slowly fading from her beauty. Meli's heart ached for her, as the memory of her feelings just the day before flooded back.

She wanted to call to her, "Stop! There is hope!" But she knew better. Yes, how lonely Elrond was to become.

She spent her last evening in Imladris with Bilbo. They spoke softly of the days to come, exposing their deepest fears and offering comforting words to each other with the hope they held. Their last moment held the warmth of a long hug, and with the gentle brush of his cheek Meli kissed him goodbye.

The next morning, Elrond walked her out to the stables. He asked her a question that had been nagging him, but had not the chance to ask with all that had been happening. "Meli, please tell me. Do you feel the effects the Ring has on Frodo very strongly now?"

She shuttered with cold memory of past to present and said, "Yes, Lord Elrond, I do. It is very heavy, and there is an ever present pulling within my heart. It is like the Ring is commanding him, pushing him. He must be very strong within to withstand the agony it bestows."

Elrond's face grew ashen and he stopped walking to kneel down and face her. "Then you must promise me, Meli. Promise you will do everything in your power to assist Lady Galadriel. It is a more dire necessity than you know. I don't mean to frighten you, but you must understand. It will get stronger."

"I understand." Meli responded with cold fear closing up her throat.

Elrond went on, "I am profoundly sorry this has burdened your life, my friend. I would not have wished this upon anyone, but especially you. You will be in my thoughts until I see you again, safe."

Meli put her arms about his neck and held him tight, and he kissed her cheek. She then told him something she had never been able to say, "I love you my Lord. Thank you for everything!"