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A Lack of Color

Chapter 11: Origin of Pain

A young, college-aged Morgan rushed over to his friend's house. Once he had heard the news he bought a plane ticket and headed straight to Miami. He'd arrived late in the day so the sun was right at the center, close to making its leave.

Morgan knocked on his door. "Jacky, you in there man!"

He was met with silence.

"Damn." He muttered. He peered through the window but the house was pitch black. Where could that kid be? Again he tried knocking the door. "Jacky it's me Derek! Open up man!"

But there was no answer.

He leaned his head on the wall in frustration. No one was home; just where had he gone?

And suddenly it hit him.

Morgan raced off the porch and ran over to where he was sure Jack would be. The place wasn't far from his house so he was able to reach it in no time. Morgan found him by the courtyard shooting unsuccessful hoops. This was a place Jack had introduced him to once.

The first thing he noticed was that Jack was missing every shot. He also wasn't putting his heart into playing his favorite sport like he usually did.

"Jacky." Morgan called as he approached him.

"Derek?"

"Hey man, I tried you at your house but you weren't there so I figured this was the next best thing."

"Well you figured right." Jack replied bitterly. He kicked the basketball and sat down on the bench.

Morgan gently picked up the basketball and took a seat next to him. He knew that Jack wasn't upset with him; it was what had happened to him that had him in a destroyed state. For minutes they sat in silence until Morgan spoke.

"I heard about what happened."

"They're gone Derek." Jack muttered with a pained voice. "They're really gone. You see shit like this on the news but you never really think it could happen to someone important. Hell, you convince yourself that it can't."

Morgan heard about his parents; how they had been killed by a drunk driver. "I'm sorry man."

"Sorry won't bring any of them back!" Jack shouted. "I don't need your apologies; it wasn't you who killed them Derek!"

Morgan shifted his gaze to the floor. "You're right Jacky; it won't bring anyone back."

"My parents are dead and the worst that fucker is gonna get is his license revoked and some time! That monster should be fucking rotting!" The tears brimmed in the corner of his eyes as he clenched his fists, refusing any to fall. "My insides are burning with so much hatred I can't even stand it. And I don't know where to take all this hatred."

"Jack," Morgan began. "I lost my father when I was a little kid; like you I was filled with hatred. I didn't know what to do either."

"Yeah you told me about that... but you had your mother and sisters who loved you. I don't have anything left Derek... what do I do? This pain... it hurts. It really hurts Derek."

Morgan turned to face him again. "This pain will stay with you for your entire life; I know that from experience. It plays an important role in the choices we make. But I promise you aren't alone Jacky. This burden of pain that you're carrying on your shoulders you can feel free on letting me carry it too."

Jack eyed him with a tearful and shocked gaze.

"All this pain you're feeling you can throw it on my shoulders too, because I can handle it. And someday when you and I die... we'll be free from all of our burdens and we can just be ourselves again."

"Derek, man..." Jack was speechless. "Why would you stick your neck out for me so much?"

Morgan sent him a grin. "Because we're brothers."

A tear managed to escape him at that and he quickly swiped the rest away. He then turned to his friend and grinned. "Hey Derek, I'm really glad I met you."

"Yeah Reid, I hear you loud and clear." Emily said on her phone.

"What's up?" Morgan asked as she hung up.

"We got an address."

"Really?"

Emily nodded. "Yeah, I just got the rest of the information from Garcia."

"What's it say?"

"The two subordinates are brothers and the leader is their uncle."

Morgan glanced at her. "You telling me the one who killed himself was related to the others?"

"Yeah, his name was Daryl Hauser. The other brother's name is Anthony Hauser and the uncle's name is Nathan Hauser. Their parents were killed by a man named Keith Bower."

"Well looks like we got our stressor." Morgan said. "So what happened after?"

"After it all blew over the uncle took custody of them."

"Was Bower arrested?"

"You would think so," Emily replied slightly spitefully. "The evidence was too scarce and the only witness had been killed off."

"Prentiss what happened to Bower?"

"He's dead, ten years ago he was found shot in his apartment." She answered. "They never found who did it but I bet you he was our first victim."

"Where we headed to Prentiss?"

"The uncle's house, or better yet one of his houses; this guy has three houses here." Emily said. "Almost reminds me of you." She immediately regretted her words once she had spoken them. "I didn't mean—"

"It's alright Emily." He cut her off.

But Emily knew it wasn't alright; she had just compared him to the people responsible for killing his friend. "I'm sorry, really."

He sent her a quick glance. "It's alright Emily, really. Let's just focus."

"Right," she nodded.

"JJ is this the place?" Rossi asked as he drove near the house.

"Yeah this is it." JJ answered.

Fellow police cars had arrived right as they did and quickly began parking.

Rossi parked the SUV and they headed to the door. He eyed glanced through the window before knocking. "FBI!"

When no response came JJ gave the signal for the cop to break it down. Rossi and JJ rushed inside with their guns out.

"Clear!" JJ shouted as she scanned the kitchen.

Rossi exited the bedroom. "Clear. They're not here JJ."

"Hey Rossi, check this out." JJ said as she opened the cabinet. "I got a bunch of weapons here."

Rossi walked over to her. "Jesus, it's like a bank." The cabinet was filled with shotguns and handguns.

"If they're not here then where could they be?"

"I don't know JJ; they already knew we were closing in. They must've gone into hiding."

"They could be anywhere by now."

We'll find them JJ." Rossi assured her. "There are roadblocks on every exit of Florida. These guys won't get away with what they're doing."

JJ frowned. "Morgan has been taking this pretty rough. For his sake we better stop them."

Rossi knew she was concerned for Derek; he was worried as well. He placed a hand to her shoulder. "Then let's get out there and keep searching, it's obvious they're not here. We may have better luck outside and run into them while they're driving."

"Yeah, let's go."

... ... …. …. ... ... ... …. …. ... ... ... ….

"Anthony Hauser, FBI! Open up!" Hotch shouted as he and Reid stood on each side of the door. At their silent response Hotch gave the signal for the cop to break it down.

The door broke down with a loud 'bang' noise and they stormed in.

"Clear!" Reid shouted as he checked the upstairs.

"Clear!" Hotch said as he scanned the living room.

"They're not here Hotch." Reid called as he entered the living room. "They have to be somewhere else. They must've come to the conclusion that their houses weren't a safe place for them to hide."

"So they must be in one of their hideouts."

... ... …. …. ... ... ... …. …. ... ... ... ….

Morgan and Emily entered the house with their guns in hand.

"It's all clear here!" Emily shouted.

"It's all clear on my end too!" Morgan replied. He angrily gripped his gun tightly. He couldn't stand being a step behind these people. The truth was that his blood had been burning ever since he'd been told the address. All the hatred he'd built for these people had been getting to a boiling point.

His anger was fluctuating at an uncontrollable pace. He had no idea what he'd do if he saw them. Morgan knew he'd only be able to get his answer once he spoke with the leader. But he knew if someone were there with him it would only serve to cloud his decision. He wouldn't get his answers.

He had to see him alone. So that no one would be there to make a decision for him; so that he could see for himself how he truly felt.

"Hey Morgan," Emily called, breaking him from his thoughts. "I just got off the phone with Hotch. He says that he doesn't think these guys are at their houses but in one of their hideouts."

"So we have to find them." Morgan stated.

"Yeah, there are officers roaming all over the streets already as well as their other houses. We should regroup with Garcia to try and get more clues; Hotch and Reid are already on their way."

"I want to stay here and see what I could dig up, but that's a good idea so I think you should meet up with her."

Emily stared at him with confusion. "You want us to separate?"

"No, I want you to head with Hotch and Reid and up our chances on finding these guys. I'll meet up with you once I'm finished here."

"You know I can help you." She said softly.

And for a second he felt as if she'd just read his entire mind and felt everything his bruised heart was feeling. He felt torn between this decision and her but he felt— no knew, that this was the only way. If he ever wanted an answer to his pain he knew this was it.

"I know Emily, I know you can." He replied.

"But you have to do this, right?" Emily murmured. "The truth is I really do understand your feelings right now."

And how could she not? When it had been her friends who had been killed by Doyle she knew it had been up to her to settle things. That it was up to her to close their deeds.

She turned to the floor. "What if you don't find what you're looking for?"

And he knew that she knew now. "I'm certain that I will." Morgan lifted her face so that she was facing him. "You act as if I'm saying goodbye."

"I don't want you to do this."

"I have to; this is the only way for me to come to terms with what I'm feeling. I have to confirm something with them." He noticed that she still looked reluctant. He smiled and leaned his forehead on hers just as he'd done in the hospital. "This isn't a goodbye Emily. I'm going to keep you guys posted on everything. If I find something you'll be the first to know."

She closed her eyes and stayed silent for a moment before opening them again. "Do you promise?"

"Yeah, I promise you." Morgan pulled back and grinned. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. Besides, I still haven't figured out your 'Sin to Win' thing yet."

Emily laughed softly. "And you never will."

"When this is all over... you think we can have a drink together... just us?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that... just us."

Morgan began digging through the rooms. There had to be something here. This had been their parents house so there had to be something here. He'd pulled all the drawers and cabinets but nothing.

Nothing from the house looked like it had been really changed so he figured they had just bought this house for memories. A part of him felt bitter for going through their late parent's house, especially since they had nothing to do with this. He decided to enter their old rooms.

He entered the youngest room first and it looked like it hadn't been touched. There were still toys, board games, and several alligator toys and plushys everywhere. Morgan crouched down and scanned under the bed; his hand reached an object and he pulled it out. It was a journal.

It was Anthony's journal; dated when he was a child. There were several entries of how he and his brother would sneak out to the Everglades to go 'alligator hunting' —as Anthony would call it— without their parents knowing. The last date entered was the day their parents had died; they had gone to the Everglades again.

This had to be it.

Morgan dashed out the room and jumped into the SUV. As promised he grabbed his cellphone and dialed Emily.

"Talk to me Morgan."

"Prentiss I'm headed to the Everglades, I think it has some significance to our unsubs."

"Garcia's fished out some other ties to them and we're all going to check each of them out. I'll meet up with you."

"Yeah, see you here." Morgan said before hanging up. It was already late at night when he reached the Everglades. The problem now was that it was a very huge area to cover. If they had a hideout here he knew it wouldn't be out in the open it'd be deep in the marsh. He exited the vehicle and headed out on foot.

Morgan walked passed through the numerous sawgrass and ventured deeper inside. Just as he'd gotten farther in he saw a movement. Staying as quiet as he could he followed it until they reached a clearing. The guy was bent over and looked like he was reaching something.

"Anthony Hauser, FBI!"

And that was when the shots began firing.

"Derek Morgan! You ruined everything!" Anthony shouted as he fired multiple shots.

"Anthony stop! I just want to talk to you!" Morgan yelled as he ducked for cover. "It doesn't have to end like this man!"

"Don't you get it Derek Morgan?! It's all your fault! It's all your fault that my brother died!"

Morgan was ducked under the tall grass and away from the bullets. The man was in a frenzy and wasn't thinking straight. Morgan crawled over to him and fired a clean shot on the guy's knee successfully making him fall backwards.

"I will not be taken in!" Anthony shouted as he began crawling away.

Morgan quickly stood up and kicked the weapon away. "It's over Anthony, it's over. Now turn around!"

Anthony refused to be taken in so he used the darkness to his advantage. He discreetly pulled out a mousegun from his inside jacket. He knew there was no way he'd be able to turn fast enough to shoot Morgan; but he also knew being captured wasn't an option. "Hey Derek Morgan, you ever heard of 'death before dishonor'?"

Morgan's eyes widened and he rush forward to try and prevent the inevitable. "No don't!"

Unfortunately it had been too late and the man had fired one lethal shot into his skull. The death was instantaneous. Morgan crouched beside him. He knew it was too late. The man was dead.

He shook his head at the tragic outcome before standing up. He headed to where Anthony had been reaching for and noticed it was a door handle. Morgan paused briefly as he recalled his earlier promise. He fished out his phone and dialed the numbers.

"Morgan I'm almost there. Hang on alright I'm coming."

"Get the team here I found them, Anthony Hauser is dead." A silence ensued and he almost swore she had hung up.

"Did you..." her voice trailed off.

"No. It was the same as before. I'm deep in the Everglades so get Penelope to guide you."

"Alright, stay safe. I'm on my way."

"Right."

He then pulled the door open and found a set of stairs descending from it, illuminated only by his flashlight. It didn't take long for him to reach the bottom. His eyes centered on the other figure sitting on a small, worn crate. A lamp stood beside him barely illuminating the place.

"So you've arrived Derek Morgan."

Author's Notes

Finally Morgan stares at the man that's been pulling the strings face to face. The answer he seeks will come in the next and final chapter.