K is for Kami

Rating: T

Genre: Angst/Romance

Characters: Mello and Matt

Mello knelt on the middle of the dirty floor, bowing his head. He murmured his prayers in English, unable to diverge from his mother tongue. Matt watched in wonder and fascination. He wondered how his blonde lover could still believe in his deity, even after everything he'd been through. Neglectful parents, abusive orphanages, his mentor dying... Then it all turned worse as he was forced into the mafia life. Everything he was forced to do and tolerate-all against his religion. It was hideous and disgusting and the redhead couldn't make himself believe that any merciful God would allow that.

And then the base blew up. Over a third of Mello's body was charred. And it all turned out to be for nothing, as they would both be dead tomorrow.

"Kami," he whispered to himself. The blonde looked up questioningly. "You're praying to your Kami. We should respect something of the Japanese culture considering that this is where we're gonna die."

"No, Matt. You are not going to die tomorrow."

Matt smiled lightly and shook his head. Mello still thought that Matt would live through tomorrow. But Mello wasn't going to live, and that was solid fact. There was nothing to do about it, no way around it.

"Mello, if you die then I die. We've been through this."

Mello sat silently. His every muscle was tense and rigid for a while before he allowed himself to fall limp. His shoulders shook with gentle sobs.

"Mello? Mels...?" Matt sighed. "Mihael. You knew this was coming. I can't live without you, and I don't plan on it."

"But Matt," the blonde protested. "You have such potential. You could have such an amazing life. You could find someone that deserves you. You could hack your way to a comfortable lifestyle and be happy!"

By the end of his tirade, Matt was shaking his head. He reached out and brushed the tears on Mello's face away with his thumb. A small, real smile came to his lips as he kissed Mello's cheeks and forehead.

"Mihael, love, you say I could be happy. But I couldn't. I could never be happy without you by my side. I need you in every way. I need to hear the sincerity in your voice when you say you love me. Or the passion when you make love to me. I need to feel you beside me every night to sleep properly and I need you to keep me from going insane. You aren't going to make it, Mello. And if you don't make it, I wouldn't be able to continue. I think I might regress into a vegetative state and wait to die of starvation or lack of sleep. But I wouldn't off myself because I know you wouldn't want that for me. So tomorrow, no matter what happens, I'll be waiting for you."

Mello looked up with pained eyes. Matt smiled gently. "When it's all said and done, we'll be together. Don't you doubt it. I'm gonna go to bed. Join me soon, love."

Matt stood and walked to their shared bedroom, disappearing. Mello watched him and stared at the spot he disappeared at for a long while before letting his head fall back.

"Kami... Please let him be right..."