A/N: From here on out logic is like Voldemort's nose, you know it should be there but no matter how hard you look you won't find it.

*Disclaimer* I'm still not rich or English and if I owned the original story I would die from pure association and shame. I don't own any references but own my comments.

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Chapter 31: Pensive=Super Time-Turner

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111 Again, I don't see what help Raven is providing.

"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." Serious said 2 Snape. Dear God, something that is sorta-kinda in character.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed. Clamed? I've never been clamming.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. SNAPE AND SEVERUS ARE THE SAME PERSON! He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinister I still don't know who this is. and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Why? You did nothing! Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store. Wait, how can she go back in time to seduce Voldemort if Tom Riddle is already in her time?

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut I think she meant slutty. black leather gothic dress. Really, how could you wear a leather dress and still be comfortable? It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. It reached your legs? I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick. She can't even dress herself. *thinks* I guess it's to complicated for her.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said.

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." In Tim? Tim who? said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Is she talking about the thigh-holster? Not that it matters, no character of Tara's is cool enough for Resident Evil. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry I thought that Ebony was talking to Sinister? said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it. She has absolutely no clue what a pensive is does she?

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. What is this death touch sin thing? Can anybody tell me? Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive. What she shimmed her hips then jumped in?

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was….Tom Bombodil!1111 Who in the name of little blue kittens is Tom Bombodil?

Chapter 32: Destroying the past

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111 I'm on the verge of giving up on these notes.

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da new student." What happened to your middle names? I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him. If she talks about nail polish one more time I'm going to scream.

"Da name's Tom." he said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam" Except for the fact that his middle name is Marvolo.

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked. I don't think Green Day existed back then either.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.

"hogsment?" I asked. I thought it was Hogsmead?

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." Woohoo! Breaking the fourth wall! he told me all sekrtivly. What is 'sekrivly'? "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." Ishoo sounds like a sneeze. He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned. Can anyone else hear the fourth wall crumbling?

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted. No, the headmaster is Professor Dippit and Dumbledore teaches Transfiguration.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik No.) he asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili. She sniffed him in a happy way?

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. Shredding... yes! They're dead! "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair Auburn hair, and it was long by this point. and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord." The Bark Lord, the lord of dogs and tree bark!

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly. Yeah, the Umbridge type of sweet.

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly." They all just noticed how freakish you are.

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell. Ebony is going back to Hell, where she belongs.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said. Yep, no clue what a pensive is.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik. *growls*

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?" Wait didn't Sinister/Trevoly give her permission to be in there?

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok. Yes, for being goff makes it easier to forget things. On second thought that makes sense seeing as all 'goffs' seem to be at LEAST 30 I.Q. points too low.

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." she started to cry Take a shot! black tears of depression. dumblydum didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" Wait so it's black blood? he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying Drink! again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum." I have so many things to say, but will be unable to type any without giggling.

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112 What is this 'serious issue'?

Chapter 33: Normal (for Tara) Time

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1 Well then she should never update because anyone who gave this a good review needs to be lynched.

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?" St. Manga must be the hospital for manga's. There should be a St. Anime then, it could help with chronically stupid main characters who never seem to get any better at most things and all the other stuff I could rant about but won't for I doubt you all want to read it.

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, Leggo my Eggo! I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?" Wait, who's Tom Anderson?

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas. It was his Panama?

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking. I'm beginning to see a trend of everything being sexy from here on out.

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked. *giggle* Bork is a funny sounding word.

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched. So you felt bad for shooting him and kissed him? If I had been shot I'd be less forgiving.

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled. Sniper no sniping! Unless it's character's from here.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. He opened a door…Snap nd Lumpkin the Pumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife. I picture Snape, Remus, and Sirius all locked in a room and Sirius is poking Snape and Remus with a stick. Every time he pokes them he says, "Bother, bother!"

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin the Pumpkin bagged the groceries as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I think she meant sadistically but statistics are pretty close. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). There were so many errors in that note that I couldn't even read it due to the grammar nazi side of me screaming in pain. We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. She's trashing movies I like on purpose isn't she? Anyway, EBONY IS NOT COOL ENOUGH FOR ANYTHINH FROM THE UNDERWORLD MOVIES. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. So you got dressed for the sole purpose of taking them off 2.1 seconds later? I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. Instead of seeing the kissing scenes from The Grudge (will she leave me with no movies left uncontaminated?) I see the part where that mostly unimportant girl is walking down the stairs in that hotel with her jaw ripped off. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy. -_-

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively If you say it passively it'll be obvious that you're faking! as he got an eructation.

"I luv u TaEbory." She went to go type Tara! Talk about a super-self-insert! he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

A/N: Come on people, review! Tell me whatcha think!