As much as I wanted to be an idiot and post this chapter sooner, I couldn't, since too much would have been given away, and I don't like giving spoilers too much. That's a lie, but we'll just pretend that it's not. :)

Enjoy this chapter~!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Dear Diary

By Kouzumi93

Chapter Eleven: October 22, 23

(October Twenty-Second)

Dear Diary,

Today was even crazier than yesterday, and I've come to the conclusion that Hitsugaya-kun might not be recovering as quickly as I previously thought. I was awakened early this morning by my door being thrust open and my light turned on. It was Hitsugaya-kun, who was worried about me because it was too quiet in my house. I guess this is only to be expected with what he found in his house when it was just as quiet, but it sure startled me.

I could tell that he felt bad about it right after it happened, because he apologized more times than necessary. It wasn't hard to forgive him, because I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him over something he did merely out of a moment of panic.

I'm not sure why, but I told Hitsugaya-kun that we could talk with Aizen-dono to sort out this situation. I really can't figure out why I said it, though I'm going to assume that sleepiness made me reveal the dilemma I had been facing: the two people I care most for in the world are at odds with each other, and it's tearing me apart. Hitsugaya-kun went along with my idea, so I called Rangiku-san this morning and asked her to come over. At breakfast, which she joined me for, I asked her if she would go along with us to Aizen-dono's house.

She said yes, and then there was a lot of down time until we left. Hitsugaya-kun went to his room while Rangiku-san and I talked in mine. She believes that Hitsugaya-kun might be right when he says it was Aizen-dono that killed his parents, but I still don't buy it. Hitsugaya-kun never said anything about it in the hospital, then I talk about Aizen-dono a few times and suddenly he's the killer? No, it's not true. It can't be.

At twelve-thirty, the three of us ate lunch and left my house before one. On the walk over there, Hitsugaya-kun was acting strange. Maybe he was just nervous or something, but he didn't seem like himself. I was afraid that he might do something bad to Aizen-dono when we found him, but we were, I suppose, lucky. We didn't find Aizen-dono at all, although we instead encountered Ichimaru-san.

I had been hoping that he would be able to vouch for Aizen-dono the night of the murders, but he did just the opposite. He said that he hasn't seen Aizen-dono in a few days, and on that night, Aizen-dono was out for most of the night. To top it off, he's practically encouraging Hitsugaya-kun's suspicion, even though I've been trying so hard to rid him of it.

I tried to defend Aizen-dono as much as I could, but for everything I said, someone had something to counter it. Eventually, Hitsugaya-kun wanted to leave, and after he and Rangiku-san argued over what to do with Ichimaru-san, the four of us left. It was determined that Ichimaru-san will stay with Rangiku-san for a while, but none of us are sure just how long that 'while' is going to become. Maybe until the two of them graduate, or until this matter with Aizen-dono is resolved.

Back at my place, Hitsugaya-kun and I spent most of the evening apart. He stayed in his room and I resigned to mine, and we even ate dinner at separate times of the night, though I'm not sure if that was deliberate or not. I would assume that we just got hungry at different times, but that might not necessarily be the case.

I did, however, follow after him when I heard him come back upstairs. I hovered outside of his door for a moment, debating whether I truly wanted to go in or not. Finally, I knocked on his door and was granted permission to enter. He was lying back on his bed, but it didn't really seem as if he was planning on going to sleep anytime soon, even though he was under his blankets. I closed his door behind myself and we talked for a short bit. He told me, after I asked him what I should do about the situation between him and Aizen-dono, that I should think for myself more often, and that if I really didn't know which side to take, then I should take the side that feels right to me, or none at all.

I've heard advice similar to this before, but it had been presented to me in such a manner that made me pay it little to no attention. Now, coming from Hitsugaya-kun, I do believe that it has hit home a bit better, so hopefully I can put it to more use than before.

Just after he gave me the advice, I thanked him, kissed him on the forehead, and forced myself to leave the room. I didn't really want to go, but it's been awkward between us lately, and I think that maybe we just need a bit more time apart, even if neither of us wants to agree to it. I mean, I sure don't.

Because it was painful for me to have to come back to my room and leave him there.

~Hinamori Momo

(October Twenty-Third)

Dear Diary,

It's been another long day. This morning, I woke up and left for school before Hitsugaya-kun had risen, which really isn't unusual, seeing as he's only been awake for a few days now. School was uneventful, also normal, but when I got back home, I was immediately informed that Hitsugaya-kun had left. I couldn't believe it, so I ran up to his room to find that he had indeed gone away. I found a note on my door from him, telling me not to worry because he had merely gone over to the city of Rukongai for the day, and he'd be back before tomorrow morning.

The only thing it didn't say was how I could contact him. I've never seen him with a cell phone, but doesn't mean that he doesn't have one. I was both afraid and annoyed; annoyed that I couldn't reach him, and afraid of what he might have been doing. (I know that Aizen-dono doesn't live in Rukongai, but I feared that Hitsugaya-kun was just saying that he went to Rukongai, but instead went searching for Aizen-dono.) I tried calling Rangiku-san to see if she could go look for him, but she told me that she was busy and couldn't help.

I knew that I couldn't just jump on a bus, go to Rukongai and look for him. The city is huge, and I would likely get myself lost, rather than finding him. Actually, he'd probably be the one to find me. That being said, I ended up spending the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening pacing around my house. Finally, some time after seven-thirty, I was looking out a window in the study and spotted him approaching the house. In a split second, I was at the door, pulling it open and interrogating him before he was in the door.

As mad as I was, I failed to notice the sombre expression on his face upon entering the house, but when I asked him about where he had gone specifically, I realized where it must have been. His reply confirmed it, and I felt terrible for being so mad and suspecting him of lying on the note he left for me. We talked a bit after that, and then he revealed that he'll be returning to school tomorrow.

I was elated when he told me, and I gave up on my earlier anger. I asked him if he wanted to borrow my books to catch up, and also if he wanted me to show him how far in the books we got, but he declined both offers. I felt a bit dejected, though I didn't let it show on my face. Hitsugaya-kun then went to his room, and I came here to mine, where I tried to work on my own homework.

I didn't get very far in before I suddenly felt nauseous and had to puke.

I've been concerned about something for a few days, but I haven't mentioned it in here because I was hoping that this particular problem would go away and solve itself, but it still hasn't, because I still haven't gotten it. My period, which was due about ten days ago, still hasn't come. I'm petrified of what this could insinuate. If I...If I'm pregnant, what would happen? My father would kill me, most definitely.

What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? I can't go get a test to find out, because if someone found it, I'd be in so much trouble. Even just buying it would be a challenge, because I'm sure my father would hear about it somehow. I'd be dead, and I'm sure Hitsugaya-kun would find himself meeting the same fate. If it is true, what I think, we're in trouble anyway. It's not like I'll be able to keep it a secret for much longer, anyway.

I have to say, though, that maybe one good thing could come out of this. If Hitsugaya-kun needs to live with a blood relative, and I have his flesh and blood inside of me, then maybe he would be permitted to stay here, with his child-to-be. I know it's too soon to be making these assumptions, but maybe this can work. We might actually get to stay together.

There's another problem, though. How should I go about telling him? When would it be proper to let him know that he might have a kid? I don't think I could just walk right up and tell him, but I can't just go on and keep this act up. Maybe he'll sense it and ask me, and I'll confess and apologize, begging his forgiveness because I didn't tell him sooner. Not that I didn't, but that I couldn't.

I think...tonight I'll over to his room and attempt to tell him. Maybe it's not the right time, but this is the least I can do.

~Hinamori Momo

So, what do you all think? I'm trying to keep her personality in check, but it sometimes gets out of control. I'm sorry for this.

Review if you would, please. Much effort is poured into this, so it's always appreciated to have feedback.

By the way, I have made a Facebook page for my account. If you would like to be up to date with the status of each individual chapter of my stories, just go to Facebook, search for my name (Kouzumi93) and like the page.