(Same chapter-revised for one glaring error-sorry! )

I want to thank all of you for being so patient with me as I try to finish this story. It wasn't supposed to be this long, I swear! One more chapter after this one (I hope).

I want to thank my betas AstraPerAspera and Mara-anni for their wonderful comments and suggestions. They really keep me on my toes! Speaking of wonderful, AstraPerAspera wrote a beautiful poem based on this fic which she set to original music. If you care to take a look, just pm me. I can't get the link to show up.

Migraine (Chapter 11)

Biting the inside of her lip, she grabbed another storage box and carried it out of her office to the living room. Resisting the temptation to throw the box was difficult, but she managed to place it with the others. She had decided it was time to pack away the remnants of her previous life and move on. It was hard not to feel bitter about her discharge from the Air Force. Yes, she understood the reason--she was still suffering migraines and flashbacks; it was possible she always would. The Air Force couldn't afford to have an officer in the field that might suddenly freeze, unable to act. But damn it, why couldn't they have given her more time?

She headed back to the office, angry with herself for wallowing in the past. It was over and done with, for heaven's sake! Move on! She clenched her fists. Just easier said than done. Hence the remodeling plans for the office--it was the way to disconnect from her old life. So the office computer had been boxed up, the shelves and closets cleared out, and the bookshelves had been emptied and taken apart. The only electrical outlet on the chosen wall had been dismantled. The room had been totally cleared out in anticipation of the demolition and construction she was planning.

She tried to visualize the newly remodeled pool room. The only problem was her musings continued to include a tall, silver-haired figure who had no business in her dreams. Blinking, she wondered why she continued to belabor that point, to continue to torture herself with the impossible—he was no longer part of her life and the sooner she accepted it, the better off she would be.

Hesitating only a moment, she lifted her fist and struck it through the sheetrock. She was surprised at how easily her clenched hand decimated the wall. The satisfying crunch of drywall crumbling to dust under the assault of her bare hands gave her a sense of power, a level of control that had been lost to her.

Now that there was a huge hole in the wall, she was committed to yet another huge project. So what if this was the fifth project she had started in as many weeks? If she didn't finish it, whose business was it but her own? She needed to know that she was in control here-- where outside these walls, choices had been taken from her.

An insistent pounding on her front door interrupted her work. Annoyed with herself for almost cowering behind the door, she held her breath. It was probably one of the guys. Again. They obviously still felt obligated to continue to try and check on her. One day the knocks would stop. Well she wasn't going to wait around for their pity parties, or try to hang on to something they didn't want to do in the first place.

When the pounding finally stopped and she heaved a sigh of relief. She sneaked into the front room and peaked through the curtains at her front porch. No sign of anyone. Squashing down a flare of despair, she told herself it was for the best. Now she could get back to work without worrying that one of the guys might break down her door. She allowed a tiny smile as she thought of how Teal'c could do it without a moment's hesitation or effort.

Catching sight of the bookshelf planks, she decided they needed to go outside for the haulers. She grabbed a jacket for protection against the cold winter air and pulled up as many boards as she could carry. The wind caused her to stagger slightly as she stepped out the side door so she made sure she had a good grip on the boards before stepping around the garage to dump the stack.

"Carter."

Crap! What the hell was he doing here? She had almost run right into him! She eyed him suspiciously. He was standing too damned close, a small grin on his face. He looked so smug, thinking he had finally cornered her. We'll see about that. How would he feel about all these boards landing on his feet?

"Colonel."

He raised an eyebrow. Briefly wondering how long he had been practicing that Teal'c maneuver, she shifted the boards in her arms. Without a word, he tugged half the boards from her and stepped aside as she made to shove her way past him. In spite of her best effort to ignore him, the Colonel followed close on her six.

"You've been avoiding us."

She neither confirmed nor denied his statement. Ignoring him, she dusted her hands on her jeans and headed back to the house. The Colonel continued to dog her trail, further irritating her.

She gritted her teeth. Why was he doing this? Just as she was at a point where she thought she could accept his…their loss, he had to show up and rub salt in the wound, opening it so it would fester again. Well, there was no way she was going to let that happen. Not bothering to refrain from slamming the door, she waited for the satisfying sound of it closing in his face. It didn't come. When she turned to look, he had his foot literally in the door. Damn, he was fast.

"May I come in?"

"No…I'm busy."

"You're going to have to let me in eventually."

She folded her arms across her chest. "And why's that?"

He leaned in so close she could feel the warmth of his body. She shivered and couldn't help the little flutter in her stomach as she felt his breath as a gentle caress across her cheek.

"Because I'll just camp out here on your front yard until you do. I've got field equipment, ya know."

She gave an exasperated sigh. He would do it, too. Even if she called the police, there would be uncomfortable questions about why an Air Force colonel was harassing his former second in command.

"Fine. You can come in. For a minute." She stressed the word minute.

She turned abruptly and headed back to the office, not waiting for him to follow. Silently she fumed at his intrusion into her life.

"Whoa! What happened in here?"

"I'm doing some remodeling."

"Home demolition, maybe," he muttered. "Someone's been watching too much DIY lately, eh Carter?"

"What do you want, sir?"

It was a deliberate dig, and she couldn't help the flare of pleasure at his wince at the use of that word.

"I've…we've been worried about you. We haven't heard from you, you don't answer our calls, answer the door. We…I need to know you're okay."

"I'm okay. Now you can go. Okay?" She couldn't help the bitter tinge of her words.

"No, it's not okay! I'm not leaving. I just got here."

She glared at him; he stood there refusing to budge. His chin was tilted up in challenge as he rocked back on the heels of his feet.

Fine. Whatever. He could do as he pleased. She didn't care. She began yanking out chunks of drywall, trying to ignore the flicker of hope that he would stay. Why was she torturing herself this way? He wasn't going to hang around with someone so completely out of her mind that she was literally destroying her own house. What an idiot she was, choosing to dive heart first into misery.

It was better if she just focused on the drywall. This stuff had to be old. Normally the dust would be minimal, but this was leaving a fine layer all over the place and she suppressed a cough. It caught her completely off-guard when she heard the ripping of drywall beside her. She glanced over and caught the Colonel pulling drywall too. Her face must have reflected her shock, because he shrugged and said, "You look like you could use some help."

The two of them worked in silence, taking only a few minutes to pull out the sheets. They carried out the large pieces and stacked them against the garage. Next the two by fours were pounded out and stacked outside. Despite her initial misgivings, it felt good to be working with him again. She groaned to herself. How pathetic could she be?

It wasn't long before they stood side by side staring at the vast space they had created. The Colonel turned toward her and grinned. "You going to leave that there, Carter?" he asked pointing at the cable wire sticking up through in the voided space.

Rolling her eyes, she headed to the basement with the Colonel following close behind. His continued proximity was a little nerve-wracking, an invasion of her personal space. It certainly didn't seem as if he was trying to distance himself from her.

She tried to discern any pity behind his actions as they moved downstairs. His stance was confident, authoritative. His eyes were warm, even affectionate. Confused by his unexpected demeanor, her steps faltered. He threw her a questioning look as he reached to pull open the crawl space where the cable wires be found. She shrugged and allowed him to open the access way.

He turned to her with a slow grin. "Ladies first."

She scrambled into the tiny hole and flicked the light switch. A small popping sound erupted and the space remained dark. "Great," she muttered. She called out to the Colonel, "Could you grab a flashlight off the workbench? The bulb is out."

"You betcha"

No sense waiting. She crept along the dirt floor, taking care to avoid the overhead beams. She shivered in the cool air, feeling slightly uneasy though she wasn't sure why. She hadn't been afraid of the dark since she was two, for cryin' out loud! Get a grip! As she felt along for the cable splitter, she found that her hands were beginning to shake. A fine sheen of sweat broke out all over her body and a headache was beginning in the base of her skull.

A sense of dreadful urgency swept over her as she began to pull down the cable. She had to hurry and get out of this dark space. Desperately she tugged at the line. Unexpectedly, she felt movement behind her and she turned quickly, bringing up arms in a defensive position. A bright light flashed in her eyes. Burning agony spiked through her forehead, and she couldn't stop her scream. The beam was searing into her head, ripping out her brain. She had to get away, get out of this prison…

"Sam! Sam!"

The distant call drifted through the burning arc. The familiar tones became a lifeline that she clutched, using it to fight her way through the pain.

Strong hands clasped her arms. The grip was not painful, not threatening. She stopped her fight for escape and felt herself be gently pulled her into a tender embrace. The paralyzing pain subsided, but she was still shaking from fear. Her heart pounded in her chest and head still ached, but her uncertainty about what had happened terrified her.

"Where am I?"

The arms tightened around her. "In your house-the crawl space."

She struggled to reconcile the feelings of pain with the security of his hold. As she began to realize where they were, her discomfiture made her pull away from him. "I need some meds," she mumbled, in a hurry to put some space between them.

Making her way to the access, she quickly climbed out and headed to the kitchen. The meds would help her combat the headache that still remained, but she needed something to fight her emotions. She quickly swallowed the pills and leaned tiredly against the countertop. Her time on medical hold had not been easy. The constant flashbacks and migraines had already diminished her in the eyes of the SGC; her embarrassing weakness had been made apparent to the entire command, and now she had gone and had a mental breakdown in front of the Colonel in her own home. Her chest tightened as she anticipated his certain departure from her life.

As he joined her in the kitchen, she braced herself for the hurt that was sure to come. But instead of grabbing his jacket and heading toward the door, he leaned against the counter next to her. She stole a tentative look in his direction, not sure as to why he was still in her house.

Expecting to see pity and censure in his eyes, she was surprised by the ferocity of his demeanor. The intensity of his stare caught her completely by surprise; there was no pity in his passionate brown eyes; they were filled with confidence, strength, and faith--all directed toward her.

"You've been running away."

She didn't deny his statement.

"It's time to stop, Sam. Come back to us."

Shaking her head, she turned away. "I don't know if I can."

He reached out and turned her back to him. "I'm not just talking about the SGC. You've been running from your friends, hiding from those who care about you." He brushed the bangs away from her eyes and leaned in close. She could feel her heart pounding erratically at his proximity. "Stop hiding."

"I can't." She turned and stared out the kitchen window. "I can't do it anymore. Look what just happened and it was only a flashlight. I thought I was back in that prison cell, being tortured. It was the same when I was still at the SGC. You have no idea what it was like in the labs, the flashbacks I had every time the alarms sounded."

"I think I might have some idea," he remarked dryly.

A wave of guilt passed over her. Iraq, she berated herself. He would be the one person who could understand what she was going through, but she had refused to see it. Her feelings of helplessness had caused her to push everything away in an effort to protect herself from hurt and pity. Even now, the feeling of loss still threatened to overwhelm her.

"Ya know, you survived a situation that would've destroyed any number of soldiers, and you continued to fight back when you thought were still captured. Even in the basement, you were ready to attack me in self-defense. That's who you are-a fighter. You can't let this thing beat you now."

She wanted to believe him; it was hard not to under his intense scrutiny. His hand wiped away a smudge of drywall dust from her nose. But instead of removing his hand, he gently caressed her cheek. Leaning into his touch was instinctive and she saw a small smile light his face.

Butterflies flitted in her stomach as he leaned in touching his forehead to hers. "Stop hiding from those who care about you." he whispered.

Tears pricked her eyes at the devotion she felt as he cradled her cheek. She smiled tremulously and he gently lifted her chin. His lips brushed against hers in a tender kiss that made her feel completely cherished. How could she ever have thought he would leave her behind?

She leaned against his chest, relishing the security of his embrace. "Stop hiding," she muttered quietly. Could it be that simple? Maybe the problem was not that they were leaving her behind, but that she had been running away. If so, could she do it? Stop running? The Colonel…Jack believed she could. His conviction that she could beat this thing warmed her spirit and gave her peace she hadn't felt in months. She lifted her head to smile at him.

"I'm ready to fight."

He lifted her off her feet in a fierce hug. That was all the answer she needed.