Sheppard opened his eyes as Dr. Keller disconnected the cables attaching him to the alien device. Kavanagh had pushed himself up on his elbows, half-turning to stare at him, his eyes numb with horror and dismay. Sheppard swallowed and shook his head slightly, soundlessly mouthing,

"It's ok."

Kavanagh sat up, squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his hands. Sheppard's face twisted with worry.

"Do you–"He swallowed again, took a deep breath, and plowed ahead.

"Do you want to...uh...talk to somebody about it?"

Kavanagh shook his head vigorously.

"Sure about that?"

Kavanagh nodded again, with more determination, if anything. He struggled with himself for a second, then spoke,

"I'm going back to my room." He shoved himself clumsily off the bed, staggering as he stood.

"Ok." Sheppard sat up himself, pulling the last of the sensor wires off, relief fighting with a nagging feeling that he should follow Kavanagh. Dr. Keller slipped an arm inside Kavanagh's as he turned. He looked at her blankly.

"Dr. Kavanagh, I need you to come down to the infirmary so I can run some tests. Just to be safe."

He shook his head.

"I need ...to go to my room. P–please."

"Just a few. It'll be very quick."

He turned without another word and went with her. Sheppard wasn't sure he'd ever seen Kavanagh obey like that, without complaining or at least muttering a snide comment. Something about it seemed wrong, and it tugged at that place inside him. There was a small but insistent ache developing there. He set his teeth and sighed, heavily.

"Hey, uh, Colonel Carter?"

Carter's eyes had followed Kavanagh as he went out with Dr. Keller. There was an answering concern in her eyes as they snapped back to meet Sheppard's.

"I'll put a 24-hr watch on him. He won't be alone. Colonel Sheppard, is there anything I need to know about what happened in there?"

Sheppard thought carefully for a second, then shook his head.

"I'll keep a sharp eye on him. He'll be all right." His eyes strayed to the two glass containers that now housed two of the glowing crystals.

"Let's get those out of here asap."

"I'm with you on that." She beckoned to McKay.

--

Sheppard knocked on the frame of Kavanagh's door. He'd rung the doorbell, but no-one answered. The guard told him Kavanagh hadn't left, and Sheppard felt his insides quiver. He pulled his stunner out and fired into the control panel. The doors relaxed open with a click. He thrust his fingers between them and shoved them open, stepped inside.

"Kavanagh?" He stopped abruptly as he saw Kavanagh through the open doorway to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Oh...uh...sorry..."

"Sorry for what? It's not the first time you've forced your way in." Kavanagh's voice was laced with anger.

Sheppard ignored the question.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"About why that door was hot-wired not to open. About why you wouldn't answer the bell."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm not going away till you do."

Kavanagh made a small, exasperated sound.

"All right, fine. If nothing else will get rid of you. You may as well come in, it's not like you care whether I say yes or no, anyway."

Sheppard walked into the room. Kavanagh hadn't even gotten out of his pajamas. His hair was messy and his glasses had slid down to the end of his nose.

"You know, I had to do that. I didn't have any choice. It was going to kill you."

"Well maybe I would have liked to make that choice myself."

Sheppard didn't say anything, just let it hang silently in the air between them.

"I saved your life."

"You saved my life."

"You...you should have waited till I said yes." Kavanagh's voice was suddenly small and petulant. Sheppard bristled slightly.

"Don't take this personally, Kavanagh, but it was my call and I happened to think your life was more important than–"

"My dignity?" Kavanagh looked him in the eye and Sheppard found his lips suddenly unwilling to finish the sentence. His brows knitted .

"If that's what you want to call it, yes. Look, maybe it was a bad call. I don't know. But it seemd like the only thing to do at the time. I'm not sorry and I'd do it again."

Kavanagh looked sullenly away, out of the corners of his eyes.

"You should have waited."

Sheppard groaned inwardly. There was no way he was going to win this one.

"Ok. I'm sorry. What else can I say?."

Kavanagh sighed.

"Nothing. There's nothing else to say." For once there wasn't any sharpness in his voice, just defeat.

"Guess not." Sheppard shifted his weight to his other foot.. Kavanagh hung his head.

"If I promise not to slit my wrists, will you leave?"

"Fine." Sheppard's mouth tightened. Every line of their conversation had made the ache inside him worse, not better. He turned without another word and left Kavanagh's quarters.