"Hey, Mrs. Blackburn, is Via home?" Keely felt mildly like a '60s sitcom character as the words came out of her mouth.
"Oh, come on in, Keely, she's up in her room." The brunette woman smiled and stepped aside, allowing Keely to walk past.
"Thanks," Keely said, offering a lopsided grin back. She headed upstairs, nodding her head to the music coming from upstairs. She walked slowly down the hall and looked into Via's room.
"Sooooo, understand... Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted yeeeears..." Via's voice flowed out of the room along with that of Bruce Dickinson. With her back turned to the door, she didn't notice Keely's presence, and kept singing and strumming along on her Fender Aerodyne bass. "Face u-u-up, make your stand.... And realize you're living in the golden yeeeears......."
Keely cleared her throat as the song ended, and Via glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, Keely!" she said in surprise, reaching over to turn off her stereo. "Didn't hear you come in," she continued as she pulled the strap off over her head and set the guitar on her bed. "I heard about everything... how are you doing?"
"I'm not the one in a coma," Keely said, with an obvious degree of bitterness to her voice.
"Oh, that poor thing... but Tia's alright, though? I mean, aside from the leg, of course."
"... More or less."
"... and what about you? How are you holding up?"
Keely gazed off, her eyes becoming temporarily distant. "I feel.... guilty."
"That's good."
"How is that good?!"
"It means you care enough about her to feel bad that you caused her pain. It means you still love your sister. That's good. That's keeping you grounded."
"You're sounding like that lousy shrink Mom sent me to this morning..."
Via chuckled softly and moved her bass to its proper stand next to the amp, then sat down on the bed, beckoning for Keely to join her. "At the risk of sounding more like a psychiatrist... is there anything you'd like to talk about?"
Keely shook her head as she stared at the ground. "All I can think about is how she looked in that bed... so bruised and ... helpless, I guess. And how it's my fault."
"The fact that it's bothering you tells me you weren't ready to do what you were about to do..."
"No, I was. It wasn't a snap decision... I just... it was never my intention to get someone else hurt by it... I guess I just wanted to say goodbye to her. A proper goodbye. But I just... seeing her in that bed... it was so awful..."
"That bad?"
"I couldn't keep it together... I don't think I could put her through something like that, her having to see me motionless in a hospital bed... Oh, I just hope she comes out of it soon..."
"That's.... actually very mature, Keely."
Keely bit her lip. "I'm sorry, I'd really rather not talk about this. Got anything else?"
Via took a deep breath and let it out in a slow sigh. "Hard to think of anything past that, really..."
Keely, now feeling incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, slowly nodded. Via fidgeted slightly, and noticed that she was holding her breath.
"They could've died," Keely said after a long, uncomfortable silence.
"They care about you. Plenty of people do."
"If they really cared, it wouldn't have taken this long for them to notice."
"Why's that? Why do you say that?"
"... because they should've known something was wrong."
"You don't believe that," Via said, shaking her head.
Keely sighed.
"You felt ignored because you weren't opening up. You didn't reach out. That was a cry for help, Keely. You should be glad someone heard it. You got your wish."
"It wasn't a cry for help. I was ready."
"No you weren't..."
Keely bit her lip and blinked back tears. Via looked around the room, waiting for her friend to speak. "Is it a bad thing..." Keely started, trying to stop her voice from shaking. "...is it bad if I hate myself even more now?"
Via opened her mouth, then hesitated. "I suppose it depends on what the context is."
"I just... seeing Mom standing over her like that, just bawling... knowing it's my fault... I could've stopped it from happening if I had just... found the courage to reach out... I'm so pathetic!"
"No, you're not... you're actually being incredibly insightful... you clearly weren't ready to let go, Keely... and your mental state has obviously been... well, rather, er, impaired, lately... but you're recognizing what you did wrong, and that's obviously a good thing... better late than never, right?"
"I hate myself. I hate what I've become. And I hate that nobody can recognize that."
"Dying is no way to send a message like that. Well, maybe it is, but it's a stupid way."
"Now I'm getting treated like a kid... I can't go anywhere alone. Mom's outside in the car, waiting for me. Like I can't be trusted."
"Can you blame her? You should be happy! She's paying attention to you! You're impossible, Keely!"
"...right... ugh. I just... I don't know anymore. I just hate how pitiful I've been... hate what this has turned me into..."
Via sat in tacit assent of Keely's self-deprecation.
"Olivia...?"
"Yes, Keely?"
"Tell me things won't stay this way forever..."
"What way?"
"This way. With.... with me afloat in an ocean, trying so desperately not to sink."
Via sighed and put a hand on Keely's shoulder. "It's gonna change, Keely. It's gonna change. I know right now you're... you're trapped alone in your pain, and no one can understand how badly you're hurting... like there's nothing left you can believe in anymore... like you've been sucked into a... a violent maelstrom."
Keely let out a quivering sigh, and a lone tear tracked down her cheek. She didn't bother to wipe it away.
Via went on. "I wish I could take all of it away from you... just to give you some time, just one day to feel the love you can't right now... I wish I could give you enough strength so that you'd never feel sad again... But I can't."
Keely bit her lip and blinked back another tear that was threatening to escape.
"So just... don't give in. Don't give up, Keely. Just keep going. You'll be better off for it, trust me."
Keely sniffled and slowly stood up. "I... I just want to feel... normal... again..." She decided not to say human instead of normal.
"Well, you've got a ways to go, but I think you need to start by letting go."
"But I don't want to..."
"It's tough. I know. But it's the only way..." Via stood up as well and looked up into Keely's watering eyes.
"...I can't!" Keely defended, suddenly on the verge of hysterics.
"Yes you can! I know you can! You've got to let yourself get over him!"
"I can't! You know he was the first boy I ever loved! I just don't get why you're doing this!" Keely shouted, on the verge of completely breaking down into tears.
"Because I love you, you dimwit!"
Keely just stood there, staring open-mouthed at Via.
"Wait, Keely, that's—" Via started, breaking the awkward silence that was hanging in the room.
"I have to go," Keely said, hurriedly, turning on her heel and walking to the door.
"Keely, wait!"
Keely ignored Via and bolted out of the room, down the stairs, and out the front door. She shut it quickly behind her and stood against the doorframe, wondering what had just happened.
She didn't mean...? No...
Keely laughed to herself.
No way! Not Via. She still thinks I'm a suicide risk. She's trying to make sure I feel connections to people. That's why she didn't run after me. She didn't want to weird me out or anything.
...?
No, that makes sense.
She looked up and saw her mother sitting in the car, talking on the phone. She slowly stepped off the front porch, and paused, looking up at Via's open window. She couldn't see her, but she could hear her playing along on her bass to Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way".
She smiled and headed to the car. Good old Via. Always looking out for me.
"Can we go home?" she asked before her mother could say anything. Her mother gave her a worried look, but obliged and decided not to press the matter until after they got home.
She watched the houses and fences roll by as they drove past, nodding her head slightly and rhythmically. She looked out of the corner of her eye at her mother before she started singing under her breath. "You can go your own way... you can call it another lonely day..."
"Wasted Years" written by Adrian Smith; "Go Your Own Way" written by Lindsey Buckingham; the rest of your relieved boredom written by me.
PRO TIP: If you ever have two hours to kill and want to feel like dying at the end of it, just watch the movie Threads. Horribly disillusioning.