Somehow, I don't feel like writing much of an introduction today...
Shinigami no kamikaze (me) does not own Gundam Wing.
This fic contains shounen ai, angst, and possibly cussing.
Giving Away an Angel
Part 10
by Shinigami no kamikaze (shinigaminokamikaze@yahoo.com)
Pain was all around, and it pulled Duo unwillingly away from the blessed nothingness that went with unconsciousness. His eyes flickered open, and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. At first he didn't panic... he was still dazed by the drugs in his system... but after a few more moments of blissful ignorance passed his throat tightened and his vision blurred.
A despair like nothing he'd ever experienced before fell over him, and he wanted to cry out... to scream his torment... to release all his anguish in one terrible wail ... If only it could be so simple. Even if he could allow himself to scream, he doubted he was strong enough...
There was no one, no one at all, he could trust... not anymore. For once he'd finally believed he didn't have to guard himself so carefully from reaching out to someone. He finally had believed he could have some good in his life... but he'd been betrayed. Not only by Heero, but by all he'd put faith in. Loneliness and grief enveloped him. There was nothing and no one for him now.
Duo tried to stop tears from spilling from his eyes, but he couldn't... What had he done this time?! What had he done wrong? It must of been him! He was just one large mistake... he should have died long ago... So what about him had screwed it all up this time? Heero wouldn't have done something like that if it wasn't because of him... he wasn't like that!
Duo choked on a sob. He was like some kind of toxin. Killing some, poisoning others... And no one could save him now. No one could help him! He was too far gone, too corrupted... Anyone who tried... they'd do what the others had done.... they'd die or hurt him. He couldn't let that happen again, if only for their sake.
Now every foundation he had rebuilt his world upon since it was last destroyed along with the Maxwell Church lay broken and turned to dust. His heart was shattered and desolate... and he had no idea how to pull himself up from the vortex he was falling into. He didn't even know why he should try.
All that he had left to him now was misery and fear. How long could he survive like that? How long before he couldn't take the strain anymore... how long before he completely lost it?
It didn't matter. No one loved him, and no one would care. Friends were fleeting, and all promises were empty. If he were to die, people might brood for a couple of days, but then it would be forgotten. Forgotten like those who died in the plague at hit his colony so long ago.
No... he could not even allow himself to continue on that train of thought...
He groaned in pain as he tried to move, to at least look around at his surroundings. The pain was intense, but drugs kept it from being mind numbing, a fact Duo cursed. Unending physical pain was more appealing than conscious thought. What Duo wanted more than anything else was oblivion. Not death.... just nothing. No pain, no knowledge of what he was, no sorrow... If only he could be unconscious again, if only he could have a short reprieve!
He noted the room was empty, and he'd thought it would be. Why would anyone bother to see him? He remembered that Wufei and Quatre had been with him earlier, but that was just what civilized people did. How could he have thought himself equal to them? Despite everything, he was still a little gutter rat... something to be cast aside, forgotten... worth absolutely nothing, and worthy of nothing more than a lifetime of suffering.
---
Quatre woke up a couple of hours before he had meant to, too anxious to sleep anymore. How could he sleep when two of his closest friends were in such pain? He unthinkingly began twisting the sheets in his hands, knuckles white. Trowa watched with worry.
Releasing what he was doing, Quatre stopped. Giving up on the idea of getting anymore sleep, he slipped out of the bed that was far too empty, and went to shower and dress himself.
All the while, he thought about what he was going to do. What was he going to say? Knowing that Wufei could be quite impatient, and his own need to know who'd done this, he guessed that they'd be seeing Duo first.... Duo... By all that was holy, what had happened to him?
Then there was Heero, but Quatre didn't know how bad off he was... Why didn't he check up on him before things got so out of hand?! 'Hindsight is ever perfect', a voice in his mind told him, bit it didn't give him a bit of comfort. He should have _known_.
Trowa continued to observe silently from where he was. He knew that he mainly was an observer to all this, no longer having the means to interact... all he could do was a little interfering... and it hurt him to know that.
Fully dressed and ready to go out, Quatre paced the room. It was going to be a long wait.
---
Wufei met Quatre in the hospital lobby, and unbeknownst to either of them, Trowa also joined them. Wufei'd brought along his tape recorder, hoping he'd have a chance to use it, hoping Duo would be up to answering some questions... though, those hopes were nothing compared to his hope Duo could recover from this. He wasn't sightless. He saw the agony in his friend's eyes...
The nurse waved to them, and they followed her to Duo's room.
"He's still weak, and he won't be awake for very long. Don't wear him out. If you see him getting tired, let him get his rest. He needs it. If something happens, don't hesitate to call for assistance." When she stopped in front of Duo's room, they both nodded in understanding.
They entered the room, and Duo turned his gaze to them. Quatre stopped dead. His violet eyes were still awash with pain, possibly more intense than before. The flame that normally danced within the amethysts was dim and still... Even in the worst of times during the war, Duo had never looked anything like this. It tore at Quatre's heart... what had caused this? Who would do this?
Trowa thanked whatever power it was that had him here for the fact Duo had still lived, but by the look in his eyes Trowa was not sure for how much longer. He didn't think Duo remembered anything from their encounter during his coma, which only made Trowa more afraid for him... It hurt to see Duo like this... his eyes were not meant to showcase such anguish.
Wufei stopped beside the foot of Duo's bed, measuring him with a glance, trying to figure out if the frail boy could handle answering some questions. He was hesitant... he knew something was terribly wrong with the American. He hadn't attempted to speak, to smile, to even greet them, but more importantly, he wore a visage of despair, though Wufei could tell Duo was trying to mask it... Would questioning him inhibit his healing, or would it be better for him to get this off his chest now?
Wufei brought out the tape recorder and started it, "Duo... are you up to answering a few questions for me today?"
By this time, Quatre had moved over to sit next to Duo's side, and Trowa stood invisible opposite Quatre. Duo cast his eyes down for a moment, then looked over at the blonde with what seemed to be uncertainty. "It's up to you, Duo," Quarte told him gently, "If you don't want to talk right now, then we'll respect that."
A the silence seemed to last hours to Wufei, but then a weak and raspy voice replied, "....yes..," a few moments pause, "I think."
Wufei had to strain to hear Duo, but considering how frightened he'd been when he'd first woken up, Wufei didn't want to crowd him, so stayed where he was at the foot of the bed. Holding out the small black device in his hand to Quatre, he asked, "Winner, do you mind holding the tape recorder for me?"
Without a word Quatre took it and was back in his seat next to Duo. Now that things were ready, Wufei wanted so badly to ask the question that had been burning in his mind the entire time.. "Duo, do you know who did this? Who attacked you?"
Duo's expression became oddly unreadable, "....yes..."
"Who was it?"
At this point, Duo began to tremble. Quatre tired to put his hand over Duo's in an attempt to comfort him, but Duo drew his hand away and winced when it hurt. Quatre whispered the American's name softly, but Duo squeezed his eyes shut and wouldn't look even look at either of them. Trowa cringed internally, and murmured under his breath, "Don't pull away, Duo."
"You don't have to answer that question now.." Quatre said gently, giving Wufei a sidelong glance that dared him to contradict. Wufei was regretting he had asked.
Trowa watched somberly, wondering that if he could only speak to the other two, could he spare Duo some of this pain? Quatre and Wufei couldn't understand what they were asking of Duo... if only he could tell them... if only they could be prepared. True, he could have tried to tell them in a dream, but dreams were fleeting things, and the chances of either of them both remembering the dream and believing in it were minute.
Several seconds passed and Duo opened his eyes, which were now covered in a layer of unshed tears. He looked over to Quatre and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing but a small squeak came forth. He took a few quick breaths before he tried again, and Quatre had to lean forward to hear him, "...I... it.... it.."
"Calm down, Duo. It's alright now."
"No!" Duo managed to say loud enough for Wufei to hear without trouble, and Quatre was startled by his sudden forcefulness. His voice lowered back to is original rasp, "... no... it..," Duo sniffled, "It was Heero."
"What?!," Quatre exclaimed, eyes going round in shock. It was impossible! Wufei's eyes narrowed in anger, his worst suspicions confirmed. Duo turned his head away in shame as the tears began to fall down his face and he began whimpering involuntarily. Trowa merely watched, as was his curse. Quatre turned back to Duo, and watching the American break down tore at his heart.
Quatre regained enough composer to try and calm Duo some, though his mind had not quite yet absorbed the news, "Duo, it's alright to cry..." Duo didn't react, so Quatre kept talking soothingly, "You're safe here, and everything's going to be fine." Quatre didn't know if that he said was a lie, but he had to try to help Duo somehow, "You'll be alright... it's okay.."
Wufei's mind reeled, but before he could do anything he needed the whole story. First Duo had to calm down... Not sure what words of comfort to offer, Wufei stood awkwardly while Quatre tended to Duo.
"Duo, we don't have to ask anymore questions right now. Do you want us to go? We can leave you alone for a while, if you want." Quatre told Duo softly. They sat quietly and gave Duo some time to collect himself enough to formulate a reply.
He stopped crying, but not shaking, saying weakly,"...I... I can answer more."
Quatre wasn't sure if that was what would be best for him right now, but he couldn't find it in him to contradict Duo, plus there was a need for him to know why... why would Heero do such a thing?!
"Alright.. but remember, you may stop whenever you wish, " Wufei added, also unsure if he really should be pushing for answer right now, no matter how much he felt he needed them. "What happened, from the beginning?"
Duo hesitated, sniffling and visibly trying to regain control of himself, trying to stop himself from trembling like a leaf, "...We... we were having an argument.... "
"About what?", Wufei asked. What had set Heero off..?
Glancing over at Quatre, the blonde could see in Duo's eyes he was debating his answer. His eyes looked away again and he answered hoarsely, "...trust...."
Deciding not to push that topic now, Wufei continued, "Then what?"
"I... I threat--" Duo choked up for a minute, and Quatre's first reaction was to reach out to him to try to reassure him... but, remembering what had happened last time, he kept his hand where it was. "I threatened to leave... only for a little while... but I went... went to pack some things..."
"And then?"
"I... I came back out... with some things... and... and.. Heero was so angry... and he was blocking the door, " Duo's voice started to become progressively quieter, "...and I told him to get out of the way... and then.. then he... he.... he.." The tears began falling again, and Duo tried to hide his face, but he groaned in pain when, presumably, moving his head hurt him.
"I think that's enough, " Quatre said, wanting so badly to comfort Duo, but not knowing how. He couldn't imagine what it was like for him...
Wufei was anxious. He had an idea of what had gone on now, but how had Heero wound up hurt? He needed to know... "Duo, do you want to continue?" he pressed, trying his best to ignore the icy glare he got in return from Quatre.
"...he grabbed me, " Duo said in a small voice, "And he threw me... and... and... he just kept hitting me and hitting me.... I .... I tried to say something... but... I... he wouldn't let me.... I.. I don't remember too well after that... I think he fell... I don't know why... he didn't look like he would stop.. I didn't think he would stop... I can't remember... I think he fell..."
Quatre hushed Duo as it became obvious he was rambling, even as Quatre's own mind faultered with the gravity of the information. To hear Duo speak... it was a shock and a painful awakening to the cold reality of the situation. "It's over now..."
Trowa reached out and lay a hand Duo couldn't feel over his forehead, motioning as if he were brushing the boy's bangs out of his eyes... but he dare not actually try it. He wished he could protect Duo from all this torment or at least the burden of remembering how he'd come to be so hurt... but he lacked the power as this shadow of his living self.
Duo began shuddering as if crying, but no tears came. He was trembling more now from exhaustion than anything else, and his eyes were barely open.
Wufei was now too consumed with the case now to notice, feeling an ever growing sense of urgency to understand what had happened... to give it reason... and asked Duo, "Did you hit him back at any time? Did you defend yourself?"
All the response that came from Duo was a strangled whimper as he shut his eyes, still shaking. Quatre turned to glare at Wufei once more, "Get out."
Quatre's reaction was enough to snap Wufei out of his interrogation mode, "What?"
"I said get out. Haven't you upset him enough?"
Wufei truly looked at Duo, and became rightfully ashamed afterwards. He opened his mouth to defend himself or ask to stay, but one glance at Quatre, and he thought better of it. He turned and left the room to sit and wait by the door. Switching off the tape recorder, the Arabian turned his attention back to the trembling boy before him.
"Duo?" Quatre asked softly, not sure Duo was strong enough to hear him now. The Arabian was afraid that they'd not only pushed Duo too far too fast emotionally, but physically as well. The braided boy was paler than before, sweating, and continuing to tremble.
Duo's eyes flickered back open, and he looked at Quatre out of the corner of his eye, possibly because he was too weak to even turn his head. Quatre saw the same anguish there he had seen before. What could be going on behind those violets? How could he even begin to alleviate Duo's pain?
"I... I'll be back to see you later. We.. we should talk." Quatre told him, not knowing at all what it was he would say... what he should say.
Duo's eyes slowly shut and soon after his body stopped moving, save for the slight rise and fall of his chest. Trowa squeezed his hands into fists, turning his knuckles white in his apprehension... was Duo getting worse? Quatre looked over him worriedly, hoping nothing was wrong. To be on the safe side, he hit the nurse call button. Soon the duty nurse had swung open the door, and Quatre saw Wufei anxiously trying to see what was going on behind the door. "What is it?," the nurse asked immediately.
"We were talking, and he got really upset, then he just got really tired pretty suddenly...", Quatre replied quickly, carefully watching the nurses face for a sign, good or bad. She stayed completely neutral.
While Quatre had spoken, the nurse had looked over Duo's vitals and charts. After examining him, she turned back to Quatre, "It isn't serious... this time. He's completely exhausted, and if he keeps straining himself like this there may be complications, or even a relapse... you can't let him get like this again, it isn't good for him."
Quatre nodded numbly. Not only did he have to help Duo, but he had the added complexity of keeping him healthy while he did it... this was impossible... how could he manage?
"Well, I don't think he'll wake before visiting hours are up... but you may, of course, stay. Call if you need assistance," the nurse said as she went to leave. Quatre followed soon after to speak to Wufei in the hall. Sighing, Trowa followed, guessing he'd sit with Duo some more later... he was aware of how delicate Duo was right now and he had to make sure if Duo broke down, he didn't crack when no one was there to help him.
"So how is he?" Wufei asked the instant Quatre opened the door.
"Physically? Exhausted and overstressed, but he should be fine... but emotionally," Quatre trailed off.
"I am not blind." Wufei replied shortly.
"Could have fooled me!" Quatre snapped, instantly regretting it when Wufei looked away, hurt. Brushing a hand through his hair, Quatre added, "I'm sorry, Wufei... I... we're both stressed."
"...yes," Though Wufei did not believe that could excuse his behavior.
They were silent, until Quatre could bear to keep the question chewing away at him to himself any longer, "I... how... how is it possible for Heero to do that to him, Wufei? Why?"
"I am not a psychologist, I cannot tell you why, but it completely possible. It happened. Before Maxwell even spoke today I had my suspicions of Yuy... Who else would Maxwell let in so close to him? Who else can do damage like that?"
"I.. I don't need to hear that," Quatre mumbled, still trying to fully absorb the information.
"I'm sorry... but, it is confirmed. And now we must deal with it. I will confront Yuy with this, and see if he still has 'amnesia'." Wufei said with more than a touch of acid in his voice. He looked up at Quatre, "May I have the tape recorder back?"
Having completely forgotten about it, Quatre looked at Wufei confused. Wufei pointed to the black thing in his hand, and Quatre somewhat sheepishly returned it to him while apologizing.
"It's understandable... with everything that's happened..."
Quatre nodded slightly before Wufei could speak further, "Yea... I think I'd better go home... this...I.. I need some time..." There was too much going on... he might very well collapse due to the sheer stress and uncertainty, the pain and anger.
"That would be wise, I think," Wufei responded, "... I will call you later to discuss another session with Maxwell."
Quatre's eyes widened, "Not tomorrow!"
"No, of course not... it can wait. What was most important has been said, and it is more than enough," Wufei turned to go even deeper into the hospital, towards Heero's room," Until then, Winner."
Quatre only managed a nod, and after looking back though the door a moment at Duo's blank and sweat-soaked face, walked away sighing, eyes watching the floor more carefully than where he was going.
Trowa watched them both go. Hoping Quatre and Duo would be fine on their own for awhile, he decided to follow Wufei to see if Heero was willing to cooperate this time.
---
Heero had woken up awhile ago, but he kept his eyes closed, trying to evaluate his situation. He wasn't dead, and it took him a moment before he remembered why. Now he figured they knew about his suicide attempt which is why they'd placed the restraints on him... not that the restraints themselves could stop him from doing anything, the guard was another matter. The only reason he'd been able to overtake the first guard was because he had the element of surprize... if the current guard was assigned to him, it was doubtful that he or she would not notice him ripping off the restraints.
His head ached much more dully than before, and Heero figured it has something to do with whatever it was they gave him to make sure he stayed under for awhile. It also made him feel weaker than he had been before though... did they do that on purpose?
As Heero contemplated on the fastest, most efficient way to kill himself, he heard a familiar voice speak quietly with the person whose breathing tipped him off to their presence when he first woke up (presumably, this person was the guard). He opened his eyes at last to met Wufei's onyx ones.
Inside those eyes was rage. Had they the power, Wufei's eyes could have burned holes straight through Heero. Heero kept his expression impassive, though he was unsure of what Wufei was going to do or say. Clicking on the tape recorder, Wufei began to speak.
"Maxwell woke up today."
Heero's eyes widened and his heart leapt. He hadn't killed Duo! But, was there any permanent damage? What if he'd crippled him? A million thoughts raced through him and while confusing flashes of emotion Heero could not easily identify rampaged within. Trowa, who had been watching Heero carefully, saw some of the pieces of the wall he placed between himself and the outside world fall away. Trowa couldn't be sure what it meant.
After a pause, Wufei continued, "He told me and Winner who attacked him."
There was another silence as Wufei gave Heero the chance to confess on his own. Heero's thoughts went a mile a minute, unsure what this could mean. No, he did not want to deny what he had done. He wasn't trying to hide it... but, if he was arrested, then he would have a smaller window of opportunity to exact his own revenge against himself... to end this miserable existence of his, where he could do nothing but play his memories in his mind, always asking in the end 'why?'
"He told me it was you."
Moments of quiet passed before Wufei spoke again, "But then, you can't remember, can you?"
Heero still failed to respond.
Flipping the tape recorder off for a moment, Wufei hissed, "Justice will be done in this, Yuy, even if it is not imposed by law. You may want to think on that." He then flipped the recorder back on.
Heero thought of the prospect of Wufei avenging Duo for a moment. He was probably threatening to do so because Wufei knew they didn't have enough evidence to convict him easily. Wufei's justice would probably be closer to what he deserved than any punishment the law could enforce... but, should Wufei be caught...
Heero thought a moment longer on his options, and carefully said (due to his still broken jaw), "Yes, Duo is correct, it was me."
Wufei's eyes narrowed into slits. How could Yuy be so casual about this?! Of course, had Wufei not been so infuriated, he might have noticed Heero was not being his normal stoic self. Trowa saw it in little things.. Heero's eyes... his tone of voice that was slightly off... and the fact he was clutching the sheets like they were going to spring up and try to run away at any given moment...
Wufei growled, "Is that your confession?"
Heero nodded slightly even though the pain in skull intensified ten fold.
Heero could tell by the look in Wufei's eye he was disgusted, furious, and maybe just a little disappointed. Wufei wanted to scream at Heero, and then tear his eyes from his head. Forcing himself to calm and remain professional, Wufei said through clenched teeth, "I'm placing you under arrest for aggravated assault and the attempted murder of Duo Maxwell."
Before he thought about what he was saying, Heero cried, "I never tried to kill him!"
"Well you nearly did!" Wufei shouted at him, "Can you imagine the damage you've done?! Do you have any idea?" Bringing his voiced down to just above a whisper, he continued, "For all I know, Maxwell is already dead in spirit... his body just fails to realize..."
Heero's eyes widened, the terrible pain in his jaw forgotten completely, though his tone remained basically the same, "What do you mean?"
"You know, Yuy, at one time I thought you were sensible with your rejection of emotion... but, you only see one dimension, don't you? You're only thinking of Maxwell's physical injuries, aren't you?" Wufei gave him a cold glare. "Duo trusted you, Duo loved you... and what did you do to him..?" Wufei looked away from Heero, remembering what had occurred less than 20 minutes ago, "You haven't seen him... you haven seen the glaze over his eyes... you didn't see him cry... I have never seen Maxwell cry... not even those OZ bastards beat him!"
Shock rippled throughout Heero... it was true, he had failed to think about what Duo was _feeling_. A thousand swords pierced what was left of his heart... to her Wufei describe Duo.. he knew it was bad... what had he done? Though he fought against them, tears came into his own eyes...
Who was he kidding? He thought he could 'avenge' Duo... Had he just been acting under false pretenses? Had he been so absorbed in his own emotion that he failed to consider Duo's entirely?
Had that been what he'd been doing the entire time?
Wufei seemed to be caught off guard by Heero's misty eyes, but not for long. Right now, he had no pity. "I will be leaving now... a police officer will come to replace your current guard.. once you are out of this hospital, you will be transferred into a detention cell."
Trowa looked down at Heero, and he could find not find pity for him, either. Seeing Duo again today clinched it. He didn't believe he could ever forgive Heero for what he'd done...
~~~end
It woulda been longer had I the time to make it longer... but I decided I had better just hurry up and get you poor reader the part!
I'm exhausted... oi, my readers, forgive me for yet another tremendously long wait! Ugh, I'll do my best to make the next part come out in less than a month (since that seems to be my current average..)... I will finish this series! I will!
Please review. It encourages me.
^^SnK^^
-shinigaminokamikaze@yahoo.com
-http://www.geocities.com/shinigaminokamikaze
Shinigami no kamikaze (me) does not own Gundam Wing.
This fic contains shounen ai, angst, and possibly cussing.
Giving Away an Angel
Part 10
by Shinigami no kamikaze (shinigaminokamikaze@yahoo.com)
Pain was all around, and it pulled Duo unwillingly away from the blessed nothingness that went with unconsciousness. His eyes flickered open, and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. At first he didn't panic... he was still dazed by the drugs in his system... but after a few more moments of blissful ignorance passed his throat tightened and his vision blurred.
A despair like nothing he'd ever experienced before fell over him, and he wanted to cry out... to scream his torment... to release all his anguish in one terrible wail ... If only it could be so simple. Even if he could allow himself to scream, he doubted he was strong enough...
There was no one, no one at all, he could trust... not anymore. For once he'd finally believed he didn't have to guard himself so carefully from reaching out to someone. He finally had believed he could have some good in his life... but he'd been betrayed. Not only by Heero, but by all he'd put faith in. Loneliness and grief enveloped him. There was nothing and no one for him now.
Duo tried to stop tears from spilling from his eyes, but he couldn't... What had he done this time?! What had he done wrong? It must of been him! He was just one large mistake... he should have died long ago... So what about him had screwed it all up this time? Heero wouldn't have done something like that if it wasn't because of him... he wasn't like that!
Duo choked on a sob. He was like some kind of toxin. Killing some, poisoning others... And no one could save him now. No one could help him! He was too far gone, too corrupted... Anyone who tried... they'd do what the others had done.... they'd die or hurt him. He couldn't let that happen again, if only for their sake.
Now every foundation he had rebuilt his world upon since it was last destroyed along with the Maxwell Church lay broken and turned to dust. His heart was shattered and desolate... and he had no idea how to pull himself up from the vortex he was falling into. He didn't even know why he should try.
All that he had left to him now was misery and fear. How long could he survive like that? How long before he couldn't take the strain anymore... how long before he completely lost it?
It didn't matter. No one loved him, and no one would care. Friends were fleeting, and all promises were empty. If he were to die, people might brood for a couple of days, but then it would be forgotten. Forgotten like those who died in the plague at hit his colony so long ago.
No... he could not even allow himself to continue on that train of thought...
He groaned in pain as he tried to move, to at least look around at his surroundings. The pain was intense, but drugs kept it from being mind numbing, a fact Duo cursed. Unending physical pain was more appealing than conscious thought. What Duo wanted more than anything else was oblivion. Not death.... just nothing. No pain, no knowledge of what he was, no sorrow... If only he could be unconscious again, if only he could have a short reprieve!
He noted the room was empty, and he'd thought it would be. Why would anyone bother to see him? He remembered that Wufei and Quatre had been with him earlier, but that was just what civilized people did. How could he have thought himself equal to them? Despite everything, he was still a little gutter rat... something to be cast aside, forgotten... worth absolutely nothing, and worthy of nothing more than a lifetime of suffering.
---
Quatre woke up a couple of hours before he had meant to, too anxious to sleep anymore. How could he sleep when two of his closest friends were in such pain? He unthinkingly began twisting the sheets in his hands, knuckles white. Trowa watched with worry.
Releasing what he was doing, Quatre stopped. Giving up on the idea of getting anymore sleep, he slipped out of the bed that was far too empty, and went to shower and dress himself.
All the while, he thought about what he was going to do. What was he going to say? Knowing that Wufei could be quite impatient, and his own need to know who'd done this, he guessed that they'd be seeing Duo first.... Duo... By all that was holy, what had happened to him?
Then there was Heero, but Quatre didn't know how bad off he was... Why didn't he check up on him before things got so out of hand?! 'Hindsight is ever perfect', a voice in his mind told him, bit it didn't give him a bit of comfort. He should have _known_.
Trowa continued to observe silently from where he was. He knew that he mainly was an observer to all this, no longer having the means to interact... all he could do was a little interfering... and it hurt him to know that.
Fully dressed and ready to go out, Quatre paced the room. It was going to be a long wait.
---
Wufei met Quatre in the hospital lobby, and unbeknownst to either of them, Trowa also joined them. Wufei'd brought along his tape recorder, hoping he'd have a chance to use it, hoping Duo would be up to answering some questions... though, those hopes were nothing compared to his hope Duo could recover from this. He wasn't sightless. He saw the agony in his friend's eyes...
The nurse waved to them, and they followed her to Duo's room.
"He's still weak, and he won't be awake for very long. Don't wear him out. If you see him getting tired, let him get his rest. He needs it. If something happens, don't hesitate to call for assistance." When she stopped in front of Duo's room, they both nodded in understanding.
They entered the room, and Duo turned his gaze to them. Quatre stopped dead. His violet eyes were still awash with pain, possibly more intense than before. The flame that normally danced within the amethysts was dim and still... Even in the worst of times during the war, Duo had never looked anything like this. It tore at Quatre's heart... what had caused this? Who would do this?
Trowa thanked whatever power it was that had him here for the fact Duo had still lived, but by the look in his eyes Trowa was not sure for how much longer. He didn't think Duo remembered anything from their encounter during his coma, which only made Trowa more afraid for him... It hurt to see Duo like this... his eyes were not meant to showcase such anguish.
Wufei stopped beside the foot of Duo's bed, measuring him with a glance, trying to figure out if the frail boy could handle answering some questions. He was hesitant... he knew something was terribly wrong with the American. He hadn't attempted to speak, to smile, to even greet them, but more importantly, he wore a visage of despair, though Wufei could tell Duo was trying to mask it... Would questioning him inhibit his healing, or would it be better for him to get this off his chest now?
Wufei brought out the tape recorder and started it, "Duo... are you up to answering a few questions for me today?"
By this time, Quatre had moved over to sit next to Duo's side, and Trowa stood invisible opposite Quatre. Duo cast his eyes down for a moment, then looked over at the blonde with what seemed to be uncertainty. "It's up to you, Duo," Quarte told him gently, "If you don't want to talk right now, then we'll respect that."
A the silence seemed to last hours to Wufei, but then a weak and raspy voice replied, "....yes..," a few moments pause, "I think."
Wufei had to strain to hear Duo, but considering how frightened he'd been when he'd first woken up, Wufei didn't want to crowd him, so stayed where he was at the foot of the bed. Holding out the small black device in his hand to Quatre, he asked, "Winner, do you mind holding the tape recorder for me?"
Without a word Quatre took it and was back in his seat next to Duo. Now that things were ready, Wufei wanted so badly to ask the question that had been burning in his mind the entire time.. "Duo, do you know who did this? Who attacked you?"
Duo's expression became oddly unreadable, "....yes..."
"Who was it?"
At this point, Duo began to tremble. Quatre tired to put his hand over Duo's in an attempt to comfort him, but Duo drew his hand away and winced when it hurt. Quatre whispered the American's name softly, but Duo squeezed his eyes shut and wouldn't look even look at either of them. Trowa cringed internally, and murmured under his breath, "Don't pull away, Duo."
"You don't have to answer that question now.." Quatre said gently, giving Wufei a sidelong glance that dared him to contradict. Wufei was regretting he had asked.
Trowa watched somberly, wondering that if he could only speak to the other two, could he spare Duo some of this pain? Quatre and Wufei couldn't understand what they were asking of Duo... if only he could tell them... if only they could be prepared. True, he could have tried to tell them in a dream, but dreams were fleeting things, and the chances of either of them both remembering the dream and believing in it were minute.
Several seconds passed and Duo opened his eyes, which were now covered in a layer of unshed tears. He looked over to Quatre and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing but a small squeak came forth. He took a few quick breaths before he tried again, and Quatre had to lean forward to hear him, "...I... it.... it.."
"Calm down, Duo. It's alright now."
"No!" Duo managed to say loud enough for Wufei to hear without trouble, and Quatre was startled by his sudden forcefulness. His voice lowered back to is original rasp, "... no... it..," Duo sniffled, "It was Heero."
"What?!," Quatre exclaimed, eyes going round in shock. It was impossible! Wufei's eyes narrowed in anger, his worst suspicions confirmed. Duo turned his head away in shame as the tears began to fall down his face and he began whimpering involuntarily. Trowa merely watched, as was his curse. Quatre turned back to Duo, and watching the American break down tore at his heart.
Quatre regained enough composer to try and calm Duo some, though his mind had not quite yet absorbed the news, "Duo, it's alright to cry..." Duo didn't react, so Quatre kept talking soothingly, "You're safe here, and everything's going to be fine." Quatre didn't know if that he said was a lie, but he had to try to help Duo somehow, "You'll be alright... it's okay.."
Wufei's mind reeled, but before he could do anything he needed the whole story. First Duo had to calm down... Not sure what words of comfort to offer, Wufei stood awkwardly while Quatre tended to Duo.
"Duo, we don't have to ask anymore questions right now. Do you want us to go? We can leave you alone for a while, if you want." Quatre told Duo softly. They sat quietly and gave Duo some time to collect himself enough to formulate a reply.
He stopped crying, but not shaking, saying weakly,"...I... I can answer more."
Quatre wasn't sure if that was what would be best for him right now, but he couldn't find it in him to contradict Duo, plus there was a need for him to know why... why would Heero do such a thing?!
"Alright.. but remember, you may stop whenever you wish, " Wufei added, also unsure if he really should be pushing for answer right now, no matter how much he felt he needed them. "What happened, from the beginning?"
Duo hesitated, sniffling and visibly trying to regain control of himself, trying to stop himself from trembling like a leaf, "...We... we were having an argument.... "
"About what?", Wufei asked. What had set Heero off..?
Glancing over at Quatre, the blonde could see in Duo's eyes he was debating his answer. His eyes looked away again and he answered hoarsely, "...trust...."
Deciding not to push that topic now, Wufei continued, "Then what?"
"I... I threat--" Duo choked up for a minute, and Quatre's first reaction was to reach out to him to try to reassure him... but, remembering what had happened last time, he kept his hand where it was. "I threatened to leave... only for a little while... but I went... went to pack some things..."
"And then?"
"I... I came back out... with some things... and... and.. Heero was so angry... and he was blocking the door, " Duo's voice started to become progressively quieter, "...and I told him to get out of the way... and then.. then he... he.... he.." The tears began falling again, and Duo tried to hide his face, but he groaned in pain when, presumably, moving his head hurt him.
"I think that's enough, " Quatre said, wanting so badly to comfort Duo, but not knowing how. He couldn't imagine what it was like for him...
Wufei was anxious. He had an idea of what had gone on now, but how had Heero wound up hurt? He needed to know... "Duo, do you want to continue?" he pressed, trying his best to ignore the icy glare he got in return from Quatre.
"...he grabbed me, " Duo said in a small voice, "And he threw me... and... and... he just kept hitting me and hitting me.... I .... I tried to say something... but... I... he wouldn't let me.... I.. I don't remember too well after that... I think he fell... I don't know why... he didn't look like he would stop.. I didn't think he would stop... I can't remember... I think he fell..."
Quatre hushed Duo as it became obvious he was rambling, even as Quatre's own mind faultered with the gravity of the information. To hear Duo speak... it was a shock and a painful awakening to the cold reality of the situation. "It's over now..."
Trowa reached out and lay a hand Duo couldn't feel over his forehead, motioning as if he were brushing the boy's bangs out of his eyes... but he dare not actually try it. He wished he could protect Duo from all this torment or at least the burden of remembering how he'd come to be so hurt... but he lacked the power as this shadow of his living self.
Duo began shuddering as if crying, but no tears came. He was trembling more now from exhaustion than anything else, and his eyes were barely open.
Wufei was now too consumed with the case now to notice, feeling an ever growing sense of urgency to understand what had happened... to give it reason... and asked Duo, "Did you hit him back at any time? Did you defend yourself?"
All the response that came from Duo was a strangled whimper as he shut his eyes, still shaking. Quatre turned to glare at Wufei once more, "Get out."
Quatre's reaction was enough to snap Wufei out of his interrogation mode, "What?"
"I said get out. Haven't you upset him enough?"
Wufei truly looked at Duo, and became rightfully ashamed afterwards. He opened his mouth to defend himself or ask to stay, but one glance at Quatre, and he thought better of it. He turned and left the room to sit and wait by the door. Switching off the tape recorder, the Arabian turned his attention back to the trembling boy before him.
"Duo?" Quatre asked softly, not sure Duo was strong enough to hear him now. The Arabian was afraid that they'd not only pushed Duo too far too fast emotionally, but physically as well. The braided boy was paler than before, sweating, and continuing to tremble.
Duo's eyes flickered back open, and he looked at Quatre out of the corner of his eye, possibly because he was too weak to even turn his head. Quatre saw the same anguish there he had seen before. What could be going on behind those violets? How could he even begin to alleviate Duo's pain?
"I... I'll be back to see you later. We.. we should talk." Quatre told him, not knowing at all what it was he would say... what he should say.
Duo's eyes slowly shut and soon after his body stopped moving, save for the slight rise and fall of his chest. Trowa squeezed his hands into fists, turning his knuckles white in his apprehension... was Duo getting worse? Quatre looked over him worriedly, hoping nothing was wrong. To be on the safe side, he hit the nurse call button. Soon the duty nurse had swung open the door, and Quatre saw Wufei anxiously trying to see what was going on behind the door. "What is it?," the nurse asked immediately.
"We were talking, and he got really upset, then he just got really tired pretty suddenly...", Quatre replied quickly, carefully watching the nurses face for a sign, good or bad. She stayed completely neutral.
While Quatre had spoken, the nurse had looked over Duo's vitals and charts. After examining him, she turned back to Quatre, "It isn't serious... this time. He's completely exhausted, and if he keeps straining himself like this there may be complications, or even a relapse... you can't let him get like this again, it isn't good for him."
Quatre nodded numbly. Not only did he have to help Duo, but he had the added complexity of keeping him healthy while he did it... this was impossible... how could he manage?
"Well, I don't think he'll wake before visiting hours are up... but you may, of course, stay. Call if you need assistance," the nurse said as she went to leave. Quatre followed soon after to speak to Wufei in the hall. Sighing, Trowa followed, guessing he'd sit with Duo some more later... he was aware of how delicate Duo was right now and he had to make sure if Duo broke down, he didn't crack when no one was there to help him.
"So how is he?" Wufei asked the instant Quatre opened the door.
"Physically? Exhausted and overstressed, but he should be fine... but emotionally," Quatre trailed off.
"I am not blind." Wufei replied shortly.
"Could have fooled me!" Quatre snapped, instantly regretting it when Wufei looked away, hurt. Brushing a hand through his hair, Quatre added, "I'm sorry, Wufei... I... we're both stressed."
"...yes," Though Wufei did not believe that could excuse his behavior.
They were silent, until Quatre could bear to keep the question chewing away at him to himself any longer, "I... how... how is it possible for Heero to do that to him, Wufei? Why?"
"I am not a psychologist, I cannot tell you why, but it completely possible. It happened. Before Maxwell even spoke today I had my suspicions of Yuy... Who else would Maxwell let in so close to him? Who else can do damage like that?"
"I.. I don't need to hear that," Quatre mumbled, still trying to fully absorb the information.
"I'm sorry... but, it is confirmed. And now we must deal with it. I will confront Yuy with this, and see if he still has 'amnesia'." Wufei said with more than a touch of acid in his voice. He looked up at Quatre, "May I have the tape recorder back?"
Having completely forgotten about it, Quatre looked at Wufei confused. Wufei pointed to the black thing in his hand, and Quatre somewhat sheepishly returned it to him while apologizing.
"It's understandable... with everything that's happened..."
Quatre nodded slightly before Wufei could speak further, "Yea... I think I'd better go home... this...I.. I need some time..." There was too much going on... he might very well collapse due to the sheer stress and uncertainty, the pain and anger.
"That would be wise, I think," Wufei responded, "... I will call you later to discuss another session with Maxwell."
Quatre's eyes widened, "Not tomorrow!"
"No, of course not... it can wait. What was most important has been said, and it is more than enough," Wufei turned to go even deeper into the hospital, towards Heero's room," Until then, Winner."
Quatre only managed a nod, and after looking back though the door a moment at Duo's blank and sweat-soaked face, walked away sighing, eyes watching the floor more carefully than where he was going.
Trowa watched them both go. Hoping Quatre and Duo would be fine on their own for awhile, he decided to follow Wufei to see if Heero was willing to cooperate this time.
---
Heero had woken up awhile ago, but he kept his eyes closed, trying to evaluate his situation. He wasn't dead, and it took him a moment before he remembered why. Now he figured they knew about his suicide attempt which is why they'd placed the restraints on him... not that the restraints themselves could stop him from doing anything, the guard was another matter. The only reason he'd been able to overtake the first guard was because he had the element of surprize... if the current guard was assigned to him, it was doubtful that he or she would not notice him ripping off the restraints.
His head ached much more dully than before, and Heero figured it has something to do with whatever it was they gave him to make sure he stayed under for awhile. It also made him feel weaker than he had been before though... did they do that on purpose?
As Heero contemplated on the fastest, most efficient way to kill himself, he heard a familiar voice speak quietly with the person whose breathing tipped him off to their presence when he first woke up (presumably, this person was the guard). He opened his eyes at last to met Wufei's onyx ones.
Inside those eyes was rage. Had they the power, Wufei's eyes could have burned holes straight through Heero. Heero kept his expression impassive, though he was unsure of what Wufei was going to do or say. Clicking on the tape recorder, Wufei began to speak.
"Maxwell woke up today."
Heero's eyes widened and his heart leapt. He hadn't killed Duo! But, was there any permanent damage? What if he'd crippled him? A million thoughts raced through him and while confusing flashes of emotion Heero could not easily identify rampaged within. Trowa, who had been watching Heero carefully, saw some of the pieces of the wall he placed between himself and the outside world fall away. Trowa couldn't be sure what it meant.
After a pause, Wufei continued, "He told me and Winner who attacked him."
There was another silence as Wufei gave Heero the chance to confess on his own. Heero's thoughts went a mile a minute, unsure what this could mean. No, he did not want to deny what he had done. He wasn't trying to hide it... but, if he was arrested, then he would have a smaller window of opportunity to exact his own revenge against himself... to end this miserable existence of his, where he could do nothing but play his memories in his mind, always asking in the end 'why?'
"He told me it was you."
Moments of quiet passed before Wufei spoke again, "But then, you can't remember, can you?"
Heero still failed to respond.
Flipping the tape recorder off for a moment, Wufei hissed, "Justice will be done in this, Yuy, even if it is not imposed by law. You may want to think on that." He then flipped the recorder back on.
Heero thought of the prospect of Wufei avenging Duo for a moment. He was probably threatening to do so because Wufei knew they didn't have enough evidence to convict him easily. Wufei's justice would probably be closer to what he deserved than any punishment the law could enforce... but, should Wufei be caught...
Heero thought a moment longer on his options, and carefully said (due to his still broken jaw), "Yes, Duo is correct, it was me."
Wufei's eyes narrowed into slits. How could Yuy be so casual about this?! Of course, had Wufei not been so infuriated, he might have noticed Heero was not being his normal stoic self. Trowa saw it in little things.. Heero's eyes... his tone of voice that was slightly off... and the fact he was clutching the sheets like they were going to spring up and try to run away at any given moment...
Wufei growled, "Is that your confession?"
Heero nodded slightly even though the pain in skull intensified ten fold.
Heero could tell by the look in Wufei's eye he was disgusted, furious, and maybe just a little disappointed. Wufei wanted to scream at Heero, and then tear his eyes from his head. Forcing himself to calm and remain professional, Wufei said through clenched teeth, "I'm placing you under arrest for aggravated assault and the attempted murder of Duo Maxwell."
Before he thought about what he was saying, Heero cried, "I never tried to kill him!"
"Well you nearly did!" Wufei shouted at him, "Can you imagine the damage you've done?! Do you have any idea?" Bringing his voiced down to just above a whisper, he continued, "For all I know, Maxwell is already dead in spirit... his body just fails to realize..."
Heero's eyes widened, the terrible pain in his jaw forgotten completely, though his tone remained basically the same, "What do you mean?"
"You know, Yuy, at one time I thought you were sensible with your rejection of emotion... but, you only see one dimension, don't you? You're only thinking of Maxwell's physical injuries, aren't you?" Wufei gave him a cold glare. "Duo trusted you, Duo loved you... and what did you do to him..?" Wufei looked away from Heero, remembering what had occurred less than 20 minutes ago, "You haven't seen him... you haven seen the glaze over his eyes... you didn't see him cry... I have never seen Maxwell cry... not even those OZ bastards beat him!"
Shock rippled throughout Heero... it was true, he had failed to think about what Duo was _feeling_. A thousand swords pierced what was left of his heart... to her Wufei describe Duo.. he knew it was bad... what had he done? Though he fought against them, tears came into his own eyes...
Who was he kidding? He thought he could 'avenge' Duo... Had he just been acting under false pretenses? Had he been so absorbed in his own emotion that he failed to consider Duo's entirely?
Had that been what he'd been doing the entire time?
Wufei seemed to be caught off guard by Heero's misty eyes, but not for long. Right now, he had no pity. "I will be leaving now... a police officer will come to replace your current guard.. once you are out of this hospital, you will be transferred into a detention cell."
Trowa looked down at Heero, and he could find not find pity for him, either. Seeing Duo again today clinched it. He didn't believe he could ever forgive Heero for what he'd done...
~~~end
It woulda been longer had I the time to make it longer... but I decided I had better just hurry up and get you poor reader the part!
I'm exhausted... oi, my readers, forgive me for yet another tremendously long wait! Ugh, I'll do my best to make the next part come out in less than a month (since that seems to be my current average..)... I will finish this series! I will!
Please review. It encourages me.
^^SnK^^
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