"Why so happy, Chica, you do know we're headed to school, right?" Cam questioned as Lee was smiling.
"My mom said if I get an A on today's math test that I could have the weekend free, do you know what that means?" she questioned back.
"You can do my chores for me on Saturday?" Cam asked hopefully.
"No, it means no grounding!" Lee retorted.
"Right, and that means you be spending the time with the boy you make the kissey with, yah?" Holger questioned.
Lee felt a flush rise on her cheeks before putting a finger to her lips. "Shhh, it's supposed to be a 'secret,' remember?" More like a secret from her mother, as the entire student body probably knew or at least suspected, but still. "And the best part though?" she questioned going back to happy again, "it's math, I own math."
"So, maybe you took a peak at the test, over scrambled wavos with mommy?" Cam questioned.
"Lee, this is much excitement, you're math skills are like me with the juggle of the random objects." Holger said and proceeded to demonstrate, or tried to as he only threw up a handful of things and let them rain down on angry passengers. "Wee, juggling, sorry." He apologized.
When they arrived at school, Lee made a disgusted face as she opened her locker and saw a pile of…something. "Gross," she said holding her nose and backed away, "what is that?"
Holger sniffed the air. "Ugh, smell like the fresh ziten berry, if a sniouzer was making the doodo on them."
"Ugh, dude, stink bomb, homes!" Cam exclaimed. "It looks like the work of a real pro, man."
"How can you tell?" Lee questioned.
"Cause it's all clever and stuff," Cam said pulling out a pie, "it's merengue bro, it absorbs the smell." He finished and putting up to Lee's face.
The redhead pushed the pie away. "You sure seem to know a lot about this." She said and tried not to sound too suspicious.
"Hey, when your best friend is frame as the Ultimate Prankster, you sort of pick up a thing or two." Cam replied and elbowed Lee. "Hey, Tina." He said ahead of time as Tina approached.
"Ugh, what in the world is that smell?" Tina asked holding her nose.
Lee closed the door to her locker. "Apparently it's a stink bomb."
Tina looked excited. "Your newest prank backfire on you?"
Lee chuckled weakly. "Listen, I know these last few weeks have been kind of strange-"
"To say the least." Tina said crossing her arms.
"Yeah, but, I was guessing I could sorta try and make things up to you." Lee said scratching her head nervously. "Say Friday night?"
"Friday? Aren't you grounded 'til Armageddon or something?" Tina questioned.
"Technically yes I am, sorta, but I'm about to be sprung for the weekend." Lee replied and pumped her fist into the air. "Yeah, integers!"
Tina glanced around. "I don't know-"
"It could be fun, you could finally interview me, we could go to the big Patsy for Hire concert at the amphitheatre, or both, whatever you want." Lee suggested.
"I would have thought you'd want to go to that with your boyfriend?" Tina stressed.
Lee's face lit up. "That's a great idea! If you don't want to I can just take-"
Something that looked suspiciously like panic crossed over Tina's face. "No, wait, I think I will go with you," she said quickly with a nervous smile, "but I have to get to the news desk right now."
Lee nodded and as Tina left, Lee felt someone grab her by the collar and spin her to face them, revealing that it was Brandy. "Did I just see what I thought I saw? You with another woman? With that woman?"
"No, it's nothing like that, we were just talking." Lee replied and wondered why the other girl was getting so jealous, but then again she'd been acting strange ever since the factory field trip and she'd kissed Biff in public. Or had she'd been acting like this before and it was now just starting to get worse? "Like about Patsy for Hire."
Brandy gasped. "I knew it, there only like my sixth favorite band." She said and Lee raised a brow. "You were talking about taking me, don't worry, I'll totally act surprised when you come pick me up, mmwa!" she said and in a flash, Lee suddenly understood why Brandy was acting like this…after she tried to kiss Lee on the cheek.
The other girl froze as she realized what she did. "You just tried-" Lee started as she held Brandy off, but Brandy cut her off.
"Because that's what BFF's do." Brandy said flippantly and turned to walk away.
Lee frowned to herself, feeling perplexed. She'd known Cam and Tina for most of her life and she'd never kissed them. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Why must everything be so difficult?" she suddenly saw small round things raining down and stepped back to avoid the bowling ball that almost crushed her foot. "Ah!" she exclaimed as Holger ran up. "Seriously?"
"Most of them weren't bowling balls." Holger said optimistically and chuckled nervously.
Lee swaggered into her math classroom with Cam and Holger following after her and she saw her mother staring at her suspiciously. "I ace this test and I am golden, and can have ungrounded fun." She said before sitting down in her seat.
"In whole weekend I can teach you to juggle the sardines," Holger offered, "the trick is not to eat them first. Holger always forget."
"Hey, you think I can borrow an answer or two?" Cam asked leaning on Lee's desk "It'd make my folks pretty happy to bring home solid C, man."
Lee shook her head. "Sorry, Cam, I can't just risk it today."
Cam started to make chicken sounds as Mrs. Ping started to hand out the tests and passed Cam's desk. Lee looked over the paper and started chuckling before her mother turned back around and shushed her so she didn't see that her pen was taken off her desk.
"Begin," Mrs. Ping said, "and no talking."
Lee looked down and her face was stricken with panic. "My pen. Hey," she called quietly to Cam, "have you seen my pen? Anybody got an extra pen?"
"Quiet." Her mother said before going back to her book.
"Pssh, here you go, bro." Cam said handing Lee a pen.
"Thanks buddy." Lee replied and started writing down the answers, only stopping when the time was up and walked over to her mother's desk. "You and dad should make plans this weekend, 'cause this girl's gonna be out of the house." She said before moving over to the door.
Barely after leaving, Lee was on the phone and confirming her order. "Yeah, four tickets…perfect." She said before putting her phone back in her pocket. "Now if I can just find someone to take Brandy, I'll be totally golden-"
Lee flinched as her mother opened the door angrily. "What is the meaning of this?" she questioned holding up the test paper. "I thought with a reward you would finally take something seriously."
"But I did, that's why I studied so hard." Lee replied.
"Then explain this." Her mother said showing her the other side of the paper.
"That's just a blank paper." Lee said.
"It's you test." Her mother retorted and pointed a finger at her.
"It can't be, I finished it." Lee said in disbelief. "Even the bonus trick question, the answer is zero, right?"
"Yes, just like your grade." Her mother snapped and Lee slapped her head.
"But…but…how…" Lee trailed off. "My pen! Someone must have handed me one with invisible ink or something!"
"Invisible ink?" Her mother repeated and rolled her eyes. "Please, you can kiss your free weekend goodbye, missy." She said before walking back into the class.
Lee started to glower as Cam and Holger walked out. "Dude, you gave me a joke pen."
"Dude, someone passed it to me." Cam replied.
"Dude, who?" Lee questioned.
"DUDE, I don't know, maybe someone is gunning for you, dude." Cam replied.
"Uh, fellow dudes." Holger said pointing over to a locker and there was graffiti on it.
"Down With Leigh Club?" Lee read aloud.
"Maybe it's a typo, maybe they mean Down With Glee Club." Cam said.
"How could anyone not like Glee club?" Holger questioned. "They're always so happy."
Lee frowned at the typo she did spot. "It's a typo alright, but it's my name they got wrong, it's spelled L-E-E, not that way." She said jerking her head at the locker before finding something else more worrying. "And has this been what's going on? Who hates me so they start a whole club? And not even a grammatically correct one?"
"Maybe it's another Lee," Biffy said after Lee relayed what she'd found out and held Mrs. Rumple in his hands, "there's more than one Lee in the world, isn't here?"
"No, whoever it was spelled it the 'girl' way it's supposed to be spelled, so they clearly don't realize that it's the other way." Lee mused before holding up her phone. "Maybe it's Radcircles, this could be another chance to nail whoever it is."
"Nah, RC's hard core, it's probably just a bunch of nerds wearing nerd clothes and doing nerd things together and talk in nerd code." Biff replied. "I'd start with the nerdy tree house in the back of this nerdy school."
"Why there?" Lee questioned.
"It's Ed the Water boy's house, and my guess is if you looked up nerd in the dictionary you'd find a picture of his grandfather." Biff explained. "And he hates you, right?"
"More Holger for stealing his job, but yeah, I did out him as the school thief." Lee replied.
"Okay," Biff said as he pulled a sweater over Mrs. Rumple, "so get messor Rumpel as close to the tree house so I can see what's inside." He continued and put a mini camera on the sweater.
Lee was handed Mrs. Rumple and blushed as the other teen's hand lingered on hers before she snuck out of the room and put her ear bud in.
Lee hung down behind the fence as she lifted Mrs. Rumple up and the cat went along the fence. "I'm sending in the cat." She said and watched her go into the tree house, soon after hearing a commotion in the tree house that sent Mrs. Rumple climbing back out of the tree and Lee saw Irwin at the entrance of the tree house just as the cat came to stop on her head.
"Lee Ping! And she's not in detention!" he shouted.
"Principal Barrage!" Robin yelled and waved over the cyborg principal walking through the parking lot.
Lee gasped and ran, the cat accidently falling from her head as she made her way through the bushes and felt her getting nicked by the twigs and soon came back to the vent system that lead her outside before crawling through them again and kicked the grate off before jumping down into her seat just as the door slammed opened.
"Ah hah!"
"So technically the bussinteen empire is just a derivative of the Roman-"
"Eh, well, carry on." Barrage said. "But I'm watching you, and I'm using these flippy flaps of fleshly flesh on the side of my head that some people refer to as ears! And I will hear every gurgle of your gooey little guts! So watch your B's and Q's. At ease!" he shouted ad slammed the door shut.
"Ahem." Biff coughed and the door opened suddenly.
"I heard that!" Barrage yelled.
"Uhhh…" Barrage made the 'I'm watching you' sign and slammed the door shut.
Lee let the book she was 'studying' fall to the desk and sighed.
"So anyways," Biff began and Lee turned in her seat as he presented her with his laptop, "see who makes up the Down With Lee Club."
"How'd you know the club was at Ed's house anyway?" Lee asked suspiciously even though she didn't want to suspect he might have anything to do with this.
"Don't get all paranoid." Biff retorted. "There's a Down With Lee Club okay? Right now you sorta need all the friends you can get."
Lee grimaced. "You're right, but, you're not just my right?"
Biff rolled his eyes. "We kissed, several times, one of which was in public, in front of our class, what do you think?"
Lee grinned slightly as she grabbed him by the collar and brought him down to her level. "I'll show you what I think." She said proceeded to do just that.
"Hey Lee!" The redhead looked up as Tina came over with headphones on. "I've been listening to Patsy for Hire all day, they're actually kinda okay."
Lee winced and rubbed her hands nervously together. "Oh, yeah, they're pretty cool."
"Anyway, we still on for the concert?" Tina asked.
Lee winced again. "Listen, Tina, about that…" she trailed off softly, but Tina took the buds of her ears and glared at her.
"You don't need to finish that sentence; I know where this is going, and here's where I'm going." She said turning on her heel and moving in the other direction.
Lee sighed heavily again before moving onto her next class.
"Did you in juggling you're supposed to make the catch with the balls?" Holger questioned as he and Cam were running down the track during gym.
"Uh, yeah." Cam retorted.
Lee picked up her pace so she was just behind them. "Guys, I need one of you to infiltrate that Down With Lee Club. I already ordered four Patsy tickets, so whoever does it can have them. We'll stage a fight and pretend we've turned on each other. Come on, who's with me?"
"Free tickets? Sure, I'll turn on you." Cam said.
"Holger can take Greta to concert and make up for lunch time uh oh spaghetti unpleasantness. I can be better than Cam and run faster. See!" Holger yelled and sped up down the track.
"Daddy-long-legs, I can bring the pain like nobodies business man," Cam said and paused, "I don't like the way Lee opens her stupid little yogurt snacks."
"Well I hate her hair." Holger said.
"I don't like her stinky breath, dude." Cam shot back.
"I hate her…hair." Holger retorted again.
"Yeah, and I'm really like not a fan of her knees, knobby much?" Cam shouted.
"I…hate her hair!" Holger said and sped up more.
Cam stopped on the track and Lee, who'd been getting steadily angrier, stopped as well. "Hold up, Essay, A) my smallish legs need a break and B) if Ed's like in the club, Holger can't even join anyway. Dude don't like you bro."
Holger gasped in horror. "Don't like me? Impossible! Everyone loves Holger, I love Holger! I love him so much!"
"Guys, seriously, what's wrong with my hair?" Lee questioned flattening down her bangs.
Lee spotted the club just down the hall and she smirked at Cam. "Let's make this look legit."
Cam nodded slightly before speaking. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, step off bro, you better watch who you talking too."
"I know it was you who switched my pen!" Lee shouted and pushed Cam against the locker.
The other teen tried to tackle her, but Lee held him back by his head and tried to reach for her instead. "Oh, I wouldn't go throwing accusations around, Essay, you're the prankster who leads a secret life."
"Oh yeah, you want a piece?" Lee shot back and dropped to the floor while pulling Cam into a headlock and she was really feeling embarrassed for rolling on the floor.
"Lee, Cam," Brandy said as she appeared in the front of them, "are you fighting over Lee's strange tendencies?"
Cam looked down at her and he genuinely looked apologetic for what the 'argument' was now changing to and Lee pushed Cam off the ground as she still held a firm grip on his collar. "And what's with how you dress? Confused much!"
Lee scowled at him. "Just because I dress like a tomboy doesn't mean I am one!"
"You got that right, 'cause why else would you not complain about being the only girl in a boy's gym class?" Cam shot back.
Lee saw some of the shocked looks on the faces of some of the girl's, including Brandy. "Well it's not my fault the school got it mixed up, and besides, it's not like I hear anyone else complaining!" she really didn't get that, but she honestly wasn't going to complain about it. "And at least I can get a date!"
"You call those times in detention with Biffy a date?" Cam scoffed.
"That's supposed to be a secret." Lee hissed.
"Ya, a secret everybody knows." Cam shot back while leaving about the part where Lee was trying to keep this from her mother specifically. "And you want to know what else everybody now knows?" Cam asked shoving Lee away from him. "Down With Lee! Down With Lee!" he chanted as he moved into the crowd.
Lee watched him leave with a frown on her face for show, but inside she was smirking.
"So Cam managed to infiltrate them?"
Lee was insulted by Biff's surprised tone, but brushed it off. "Shh, he's in there right now!" she said and put the device to ear to listen in on the meeting taking place.
"Let us welcome Camilio Esmeraldo Martinez to the club!" she heard Irwin's voice say and everyone else said 'Welcome Cam.'
"So, that stink bomb was pretty cool," Cam began, "that lemon merengue pie was like a boom idea!"
"My mom made it." Ed said.
"That disappearing ink was like rad too, but that can't be it, can it, you know like what's the real plan, how we gonna take down my girl-I-I m-m-mean my ex girl, Lee Ping?" Cam asked and Lee brushed off his almost slip with a shrug, thinking nothing of it so long as the 'Club' members didn't.
"Tomorrow at lunch we're gonna nail Ping with three pranks at once." Irwin started.
"First we pour acid on the football field to spell out 'Ping Rules.'" Emo Jo added,
"Then we're gonna flood the parking lot with shaving cream and soap suds." Ed continued. "Making a mess of all the faculty's cars to get her outside so they'll see the field."
"And then, when the room is empty, we're going to fill the teacher's lounge with raw sewage from the septic tank." Robin added.
"And, the best part is, Lee will be blamed for it all and be kicked out of school for good!" Irwin exclaimed.
"Dude, you're totally gonna be one step ahead of them." Biff pointed out and Lee grinned.
"Three steps actually." She chuckled before writing out what was said down on paper. "Yeah, nice try Irwin." She then turned in her seat to look up at her 'un official' boyfriend.' "So, you up for some making out until Barrage comes to let us out?"
"Holger, how goes the football field?" Lee asked from her spot in behind some pipes in the hall.
"No acid yet. And what does acid look like, how tall is he?" Holger questioned.
"Oh boy." Lee said slapping her forehead before switching to Cam. "Cam, how's the parking lot?"
"Nothing yet homes." Cam replied.
"Yeah, same here." Lee said before frowning. "It's pretty weird that nothing's happened yet." She said before hearing her phone ring and took it out of her pocket.
"Uh, Pingston, we have a problem, I finally managed to break the security wall on the school files and seems Irwin's been messing with your locker." Biff replied with a growl.
Lee raised a brow. "Locker?" she repeated before the freak out started. 'He was touching my stuff?!' she thought before shaking her head. "That wasn't part of the plan…" she said in slow realization.
"Yeah, you've been duped." Biff replied.
"Guys, it's a trick." Lee said over the walkie-talkies. "Holger, you're the closest, get to my locker."
"Okay." Holger said before there was a pause before suddenly screamed.
"Aw dude, my ear!" Cam shouted.
"Holger, what is it?" Lee questioned.
"Barrage's metal big stick." Holger whispered and Lee heard the off yell from their principal and Holger scream again. "B-B-B-Baragge's leg!"
"What the what?" Cam said in surprise.
"In my locker?!" Lee exclaimed before hearing Barrage's voice on the talky.
"Whoever's got my leg is gonna burn in a fiery pit of preposterous pain." He growled and Holger let out a startled yelp.
"No Holger, just drop it before he sees you!" Lee shouted.
There was no sound other than the speaker overhead and soon enough Holger started speaking again.
"Okay, the Barrage is gone, but the doorknob can't makes the open time now, I'm trapped in the custodial alcove." He said.
"Cam, you've got to get to the custodial alco-the janitor's closet and spring Holger." Lee instructed.
"I'm on it." Cam replied.
After hearing Cam hit a snag, Lee moved out of her hiding place and ran to the janitor's closet herself through the air vents. "Holger, it's me."
"Viking Santa? Have you finally come to put sheep in my pillow case?" Holger questioned.
Lee pushed the grate off. "No dummy, it's me." She snapped.
"Lee Ping, you are the Viking Santa?" Holger asked in surprise.
Lee rolled her eyes. "Yes, ho ho ho, now give me your hand." She said reaching down, put instead found herself pulled down instead and they barreled through the door.
"You did, we're free." Holger said. "You really are the Viking Santa, may I have the electrical toothbrush too with the fishy inside?"
"Dude! T-minus 2 minutes." Biff said over the ear bud frequency.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you want, just get out of here." Lee said grabbing the metal leg. "I'll handle this." She was in for a shock though as Holger actually hugged her.
"You are the bravest person I've ever met, except for Leaf Gurgen who dove fast first into a fleshagan." Holger said and Lee took off down the hall.
"You better get rid of that thing, if you get caught with you're going be to totally expelled." Biff said.
"What's worse than being expelled?" Lee asked hiding behind the lockers to avoid the cleaners and Barrage.
"I will pulverize whoever stole my leg!" Barrage yelled and Lee paled.
"Oh, forget I ever asked that." She said and cringed as she noticed the shadows draw nearer.
"For the enjoyment," she heard Holger say, "I present the amazing Holger!" he said and she heard the clattering of something on the ground.
Lee glanced around the side to see the cleaners all having tripped on the balls before dropping the metal leg down and jumped up to the grab onto the locker and pulled herself up before sliding into the vent. She crawled through at an even faster pace.
"Hurry! Come on, come on!"
Lee wanted to snap at Biff that she was moving as quick as she could, but that wouldn't help matters and dropped into her seat just as the door slammed open.
"So you see, if both sides of a triangle-" Biff started as Lee looked back at him to make it more believable.
"When I find who tried to make a fool out of me, they'll be keeping you company, all snuggly and warm, in here!" Barrage shouted. "Dismissed!"
Both the teens moved out of the room and Lee bid her boyfriend a farewell until she came across the tail of Irwin saying, "we've only begun."
Lee gritted her teeth before marching up to them and grabbing Irwin by the collar, she shut him up against the lockers behind him. "You're ruining my whole life!" she snapped. "All because of the Math club grudge?!"
Lee felt herself get pulled away by the shoulders as Robin started talking. "Actually, it's 'cause you got us detention with your pranks."
Lee blinked. "Oh, sorry," she said brushing the hands off her shoulders, "I didn't mean too, is that really why you all hate me?"
"Mhmm." Emo Joe said.
"Pretty much." Robin said also.
"And Holger!" Ed shouted.
"You better watch your back Ping!" Irwin warned.
"Or what?" Lee shot back. "You'll prank me again? Well I'm pretty much as low as I'm gonna get."
"It's not us you need to worry about." Ed replied.
"Yeah, we're nothing compared to else is out there. Some freak who loves knock-knock jokes." Irwin said.
"Knock-knock jokes?" Lee questioned before realizing what he meant. "You guys have met Radcircles?"
"Maybe, maybe not." Irwin replied. "Why should we tell you?"
"After all, helping you would be a violation of our club." Robin said before they all started chanting 'down with Lee' as they walked away.
"Aw man, how will I ever figure out who Radcircles is?" Lee said to herself.
"Nope, nope," Lee said crossing out the pictures in her yearbook as she tried to narrow down Radcircles identity, "a bit of a jerk, but nope."
Her computer screen split and Cam appeared. "Hey bro, thanks again for the tickets man."
"You really should have come Lee, this time there's girls." Holger said excitedly.
Lee privately rolled her eyes. "It's cool guys, I really only wanted to go with Tina or Biffy anyway. Later." She said turning her computer off and her phone went off.
"Ah ha! Here we go." She to herself as she read the message aloud. "You survived this time, barely, but you'll never make it to the end of the year. P.S, knock knock?"
Lee heard knocking at her door and she froze. "Uh, who's there?" her mother opened the door. "Oh, hey mom."
"Lights out." Her mother said before turning off the lights.
Lee moved over to her bed. "So people have actually talked to him, but not seen him," Mindful of her own previously assumed ambiguous gender, she amended that, "or even it's a he. All I know is Radcircles, is that I'm gonna find you."