Chapter 11
ANs: Cliffhanger! I'm so evil XD Hopefully i made up for it, due to the length of the Chapter.
"What did you just say?" She knew exactly what he said, but wanted to hear it from him, just to confirm. The warm fuzz slowly vanished away, clearing her mind.
Severus' heart dropped, he had mistakenly taken Hermione for Lily. The thought of her brought tears to his eyes. He turned his back to the startled girl, hiding away his emotions. Luckily for him, his fire whiskey was placed in front of him on the table. He reached out for the bottle and shot it back, taking a quick gulp. He cleared the lump in his throat and regained his confidence.
"It's time for you to leave." He couldn't bring himself to mention her name, not trusting himself to get confused again. His voice turned stern and cold.
He cursed himself for being so foul to her. He was finally having a bit of fun with the girl he was growing to love. But he slipped up and everything turned sour. At this point, he knew he only had himself to blame. Severus always had a tendency for screwing up things or people he got close too. There was no hope for him in the world to love someone again, at least that's what he thought.
"No." Hermione rejected his command. Her negative emotions finally being expressed.
They stood their silently. Snape didn't want to argue with her.
"Please just go." Severus begged, feeling his gut ache. He didn't want to fight her either. He wanted to be left alone with his own feelings and cry himself to sleep over, his worn memories of Lily.
Hermione wouldn't leave until she got answers. Her clear mind suddenly put two and two together like a jigsaw. The young woman stormed over to the nightstand and grabbed the image of young Severus and Lily together.
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, as she observed the picture once more. It was Harry's mother, Lily. She knew that they attended school together, but she never knew they was that close. She never knew Severus was close with anyone. If he did have an association with this woman, then it must have meant a hell of a lot to him.
Hermione sunk on the edge of his bed, with the image still in hand. Looking at how happy they were. She felt empty inside, she didn't know what to feel at this moment. Was he in love with a dead woman? She could only ease her curiosity by asking.
Severus had not acknowledged her for the past 5 minutes. But Hermione finally broke the tension.
"Did you love her?" Her hoarse voice broke the tension, that lingered in the air. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to hold her and tell her that, it was only she that he loved.
Severus lost control of his emotions. His hand raised to cover his mouth instantly before a sob was heard. Tears prickled the corners of his eyes, as he squeezed them shut tightly. The man cried silently in his hand. Not wanting her to hear. Not wanting her to think of him as weak. He had been strong for far too long.
Hermione choked on her own cry, as she got her silent answer. She heard him hide his pain away from her. The girl placed the picture down beside her on the bed and walked out of the room. She concealed her own cries once she entered the hall.
Her back slid carelessly down the stone wall, letting go of her pain. The reason he didn't love her was that, he was in love with someone else. Someone who was dead. Someone she could never compare too.
Severus was left devastated, for now losing another girl he loves in the world.
A couple of weeks had past. Severus and Hermione hadn't crossed paths since. Hermione's feelings for Severus was still alive, although her appearance became discouraged. Her mind became blank and her soul was empty without him. She felt like she was stuck in the depths of the ocean and he was her only hope.
Every Defence Against the Darks arts class was like all the others. Severus ignored Hermione and Hermione ignored him. That was normal for them not to interact between lessons, even when they were on good terms. They both ached for each other inside. Dying each time one of them was slightly closer to the other. Just wanting to reach out and feel the spark of their finger entwined again.
"Miss Granger." Snape's voice echoed like thunder, through the castle walls. "Please stay behind. We need to talk about your latest assignment."
Hermione gathered up her belongings motionlessly. After the last student had left, she made her way to the front of his classroom. She knew that he didn't want to talk about the essay, as it was perfect.
"Hermione, I want to explain myself." Although this was the first time Severus was actually apologizing to anyone. Hermione wasn't too convinced, he did it every time they argued and soon enough she was lured into his temptations. But not this time. Hermione still felt betrayed and hurt, she certainly wasn't going to overlook that. She loved him dearly, but he would never lover her back. He loved Lily. At those thoughts, her blood boiled.
"No." She couldn't help her temper.
"Excuse me?" He was taken back by her anger. He wanted to make things up to her, but she rejected him.
"I said no. You don't get the chance to apologise and feel better about yourself. You should feel like I do, hurt as much as I do." Hermione blurted out. She stood her ground and thought about her own feelings, rather than his for once.
"Hermione you think this is easy for me? Let me explain. Things will be much clearer if you knew the whole story!" Severus started to lose his temper with the girl. She didn't want to listen to him and this disapproval angered him even more.
"I don't want to know about anything! You loved her, and your still in love with her! That's why you will never love me, as I love you! Don't you see? You are my Lily. We're so close, yet so far. Just like you were with her!" She finally took a breather from her rage.
Severus' vision was now blurry. Her words had cut him deep in his heart. Before he could response to her cruel words, his 3rd year Slytherin's entered into the classroom. Hermione erupted out of the door, slamming it behind her with a loud bang. Leaving Severus alone yet again.
Hermione was fuming for days after their argument. Even to the point where her friends started to notice. Since Ginny was the only other girl she knew attending Slughorn's Christmas party. The girls decided to spend their Saturday in Hogsmeade, shopping for dresses for the event.
The female companions trudged through the snow side by side, gossiping about girly things. Slughorns party was the main topic, but then it slipped over to Harry's deep new fond of his advance potions book.
Hermione was interested to know why Ginny seemed so fascinated with Harry, when she was already in a relationship with Dean Thomas. Although from the bruises and cuts on Ginny these past few months, Hermione could tell how much in need she was. She needed to end the relationship with Dean, if her affections were elsewhere.
It was only last night Hermione and Ginny tormented Harry, asking him who's that book was and their thirst for knowledge was cured. In the front of the book, it was inscribed with 'This book is property of the 'Half Blood Prince'."
When Hermione glanced at the markings she instantly recognised the writing, but couldn't put a finger on where she had seen it before. Her mind went blank. But she had bigger things to worry about, than a tatty old potions book. She had the find the perfect dress for the party. Something that would impress all the guys at Hogwarts and teach a lesson to a certain professor. Showing him that she was a beautiful confident young woman, that can overcome anything.
The duo entered through the doors of Gladrags Wizardwear. It certainly wasn't there first choice, when looking for something dressy and formal. But what could they do on short notice.
They spent the whole afternoon selecting several dresses provided from the racks. Then tuck turns trying their chosen dresses on and exchanged compliments, to whether they thought a particular dress was right or not.
Hermione was examining herself in the full length mirror in the middle of the shop. Her anxiety was calm, as her and Ginny was the only ones present in the store. She fitted into the pink material dress like a glove. She couldn't help but worry if it was the right dress or not. But Ginny was soon there, giving her honest conception of the way she looked.
"That's the dress Hermione! You look amazing!" Ginny flashed a wide smile to her best friend.
"You really think so?" Hermione was still a bit hesitate about the way she appeared in the clothing.
But Ginny ignored her query and her mind wondered back to the previous topic about Harry again. Hermione cursed Ginny silently for having such a short attention span, just like Ron. But Ginny was much more pleasant at expressing herself, than her brother.
"I wonder who the Half-blood prince actually is? Maybe it's Some dark wizard or a famous potions maker that left their old book here. You know once they left school.
Hermione gave a quick sign at her friend's theory. "No idea. Surely it's got to be someone who is skilled with the art of Potions."
Ginny thought for a moment, Hermione watched as she could see clogs rotating in her brain. "Hmmm. What about Snape?"
Hermione's eyes widen from the mention of his name. Suddenly she became completely defensive of him. "Of course not! He would have-" But Hermione's confession was luckily cut short, by the reflection she observed through the mirror.
A shadowy form walked through the door. Hermione accidently locked eyes with the man instantly, before she darted to the changing rooms in the back. Ginny was utterly confused at her sudden movements, so she ran after her for answers.
"'Mione? What is it? Is there something wrong?" Ginny asked in concern. She had never saw her friend that panicky before. She tried to calm her down, the best way she could.
"I don't feel well. That's all." Hermione reassured her friend with a lie.
Ginny was still hovering outside of Hermione's changing room in worry. "Is there anything I can do?"
Hermione asked if Ginny could purchase the dress she once wore a few moments ago. As she didn't want to bump into the once person she was trying to avoid. Severus. What was he doing here? If he was starting to stalk her, then he had certainly dropped to whole new level.
Hermione took her time getting changed, hoping that by the time she was ready he would have disappeared. That clearly wasn't the case. She stepped out on to the shop floor, once again and re-joined Ginny at the till. She avoided eye contact with Severus the best way she could. This wasn't difficult as he stood with his face facing down. Severus was waiting for the shop keeper to return with his order. He was there to pick up his own dress robes for the party, as she realised, once the shopkeeper came back with a package for him.
Ginny handed Hermione back her money. "Did I not give you enough?" Hermione asked in confused. Reassuring herself that she gave the right amount of money to her friend.
"You did. But…" Ginny now gave Hermione an uneasy look. Glancing from her to Severus.
"But what?" Hermione was none of the wiser at this point.
Ginny signalled her head towards their professor. "He paid."
Hermione shot her companion a mystified look.
"He said it was a Christmas gift from Hogwarts." Ginny explained further, with a shrug of her shoulders.
Hermione looked over at Severus as she watched him pay for his own outfit, plus both of the girl's dresses too.
"Aye, I'm not complaining." Ginny acknowledged as they headed for the door, with their belongings.
Hermione gave out a weak smile, before she ushered Ginny to wait outside for her. Whilst she thanked Severus personally. She knew full well, that this act of kindness was all clearly down to him. He tried to win her heart back, but it was too damaged to heal just yet.
Just because he bought her and Ginny's dresses to a Christmas party, didn't mean he was off the hook for what happened between them. It was going take a lot more than that, for him to make up for things.
The Gryffindor waited patiently for the man, until he was finished. Once he headed for the door, he stopped handing Hermione the bag with hers and Ginny's outfit inside.
Knowing the shopkeeper was still around, she addressed him formally. "Thankyou Sir." Her eyes merely travelled past his chin.
"It was my pleasure, Miss Granger." Severus replied. There was no strain in his voice. It sounded completely calm and soft.
Once they noticed the shop keeper wondering to the back of the shop, they address one another more intently.
"You honestly didn't have too." Hermione looked up at his eyes. She had missed his dark black orbs that connected her muddy brown eyes.
Severus whispered as he stepped forward slightly, not wanting her to react rashly. "You looked perfect in your dress."
Hermione's heart skipped a beat, before dropping to the floor. She stood there stunned taking in his words, as he walked out of the shop swiftly.
She shortly re-joined Ginny outside and they both entered The Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer. Making the most out of their free day. Enjoying the rest of each other's company whilst they had the chance.
Slughorn's Christmas Party had finally arrived. It was the middle of December, near to the end of term. This party had caused so much hassle for Hermione, over the past few weeks. She just wanted to have fun and let her hair down. This was hard to comprehend considering all the tension between her and Severus, once she arrived. She walked in with Cormac Mclaggan on her arm. She knew that from across the room, Severus observing her every move.
She wanted to make him suffer, even more than he already did and her date was the best revenge. Hermione knew his feelings towards any guy that would make a move on her. Before their relationship began, he never felt jealously the way he did now. As he thought that every man was a potential threat towards his girl.
Even though her aim was to make Severus jealous, she also didn't want to give Cormac the wrong impression. She had heard from Ron, that he has had a thing for her for a while now. But Hermione wasn't too responsive to his affections, as her own was clearly marked for someone else.
Throughout the night Severus remained in his dark corner, viewing the party around him. He wasn't very popular to socialize with a lot of people, only the odd few times Slughorn got into a heated discussion about Potions with a student, and he directed the conversation over to Severus as he was the most skilled Potions master around. But other than that, his was only present for Hermione. It was simple excuse to be around her, without making a scene.
He still had his hopes up to try and talk to her. But she was too occupied, playing hide and seek with her date to document his presence. He could feel Hermione slipping through his fingers and he didn't want to lose her. Being away from her was hard enough, than watching her give her heart to someone else.
Hermione however spent the night avoiding Cormac, every chance she got. Hiding behind curtains and mixing into the crowd of students, whilst he searched for her. Her anxiety was hitting the roof. Every step she took, every move she made. She was constantly looking over her shoulder, not focusing on where she was walking half of the time.
But this time it was like her knight in shining armour had arrived to save her. Or in other words, as she wormed her way throw the dancing couples. Hermione crashed into Severus at the edge of the dancefloor. Causing Cormac to retreat from the girl and go about another things.
Hermione looked at him with an apprehensive glance, as she continued to curiously look over her shoulder for Cormac. Severus had enough at being the nice guy and giving Hermione the space that she wanted. He needed to explain himself one way or the other. Even though the party was full of Hogwarts teachers and students. He grabbed her hand and led her to the middle on the dancefloor. It was crowded with students and teachers to just single them out and go noticed.
Hermione didn't want to touch the man, as they were seen together in public, but Severus forced her to slow dance with him. He placed his gentle hands on her waist as she slacked her arms leaning them on his chest.
Hermione dodged his eye contact, but she couldn't help but feel her long lust for the man suddenly appear. Their bodies where pressed together in a public event. If her heart wasn't pounded repeatedly against her chest, then something was definitely wrong. If they spoke, they communicated in low voices and whispers.
Hermione broken the silence that lingered in the air, over than the dance music. "Why can't you just give me some space?" Severus could hear it in her voice, that she was still angry towards him.
"Because If I give you enough, then I'm worried you might forget about 'us'." He ended his response quieter, just to make sure she was the only one to hear him.
Hermione gave out a half hearty laugh, that mirrored with her sarcastic tone. "I don't think having a love affair with one of my school teachers is difficult to forget Severus." She used his given name, due to making her point.
Severus wanted them to see eye to eye, but he knew deep down. It would never go back to the way it was. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm not asking for forgiveness Hermione. I'm clearly not worthy of that. But I am asking for you to give me a chance to explain things." His voice was unsettling.
She didn't want to make eye contact. If she did, her heart would break for the man holding her. She had to stay strong.
"Since we started 'this' Professor. It's like I've been riding a rollercoaster. My emotions have been on a loop, and I don't know if I can keep going like this anymore." Hermione expressed her point of view on things.
"If you give me a chance and I will answer anything that's on your mind. We can get through this." Severus begged for Hermione to look at him.
Hermione was hesitating for a moment. "I only want to know one thing."
He quickly responded, hoping this was the start of them communicating properly again. "Anything."
Hermione finally connected her eyes with his. Asking her question. "Who is the Half Blood Prince?"
Severus was taken back by this query. How did she know the nickname he had given himself from school? It wasn't easy to stumble across, as he mainly kept it to himself. Like he did when he attended high school. He always kept himself to himself.
His voice cracked, finally answering the young woman's question. "Hermione, I-" Before Severus could reveal himself truly. Flitch stormed into the party clutching scruff of Draco's shirt. The music stopped and everyone turned their focus to the uninvited guests
Severus freed Hermione from his hold and immediately took off, as he heard the commotion. He left her in the middle of the crowded dancefloor alone, as he attended to his student.
The problem with Draco was resolved and Severus escorted him out of the party. Hermione wasn't too impressed with his lack of commitment to their conversation. She demanded an answer. She too escaped from the party and followed the two Slytherin's at a suitable distance throughout the castle.
As they turned a corner, Hermione rushed down the corridor to catch up to them. Her feet stopped in her tracks as she heard a body being pushed to the wall with a thud. She hid around the bend, listening to Severus' harsh tone towards Draco. Hermione took a small makeup mirror from her purse and angled it to reveal was she was looking for.
It revealed Severus pressing Draco against the wall effortlessly. Draco looked scared and distressed all at once. He tried to mask over his emotions, but Severus could see right through him.
Hermione listened carefully to their conversation. Taking in every word, they shared. Was Severus keeping something else from her? Their discussion seemed pretty intense. What else was he hiding?
"I swore to protect you!" Severus announced in his stern icy voice, to the boy in his grasp.
Hermione's mind was full of questions; she was completely confused. What was Severus protecting Draco from? And then another piece of information was revealed. Showing just how much Severus was concerned for the boy.
"I made the Unbreakable Vow!"
The words echoed in Hermione's ears. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. She knew exactly what the spell performed. Severus was bonded to protect Draco no matter what. If he refused this, or failed at his commands. Then he would die.
As both males disappeared down the other end of the corridor. Hermione stayed where she was. Staring into space, as her mind repeatedly ran over the words she had just perceived. She didn't understand, why Severus would put himself in so much danger for Draco. It was so baffling to her.