Disclaimer: The world of Twilight belongs to the beautiful Stephenie Meyer. No harm intended here.

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind words directed my way regarding this story. This is by far my favorite chapter and I'm excited about posting - as well as extremely nervous. Today is my birthday but instead of asking for presents, I wanted to give you all one. As the saying goes, it is better to give than to receive :-)

Chapter 11

For Now

Carlisle's eyes softened as my fingers continued to explore his features. I was amazed at how soft his skin felt under my touch. He was as sturdy as marble but felt like velvet. His lids drifted shut as we sat there on the floor. There were so many questions left unanswered between us, but I couldn't bring myself to start that conversation. Carlisle, however, began explaining some of the reasons we were in this uncomfortable position.

"She's a member of the board. I really did not think you would be so affected by her advances. I have become immune to her flirting, but should have considered what my allowing her advances looked like from your perspective. I am so sure about what I feel for you that I often forget you are not," his soft voice penetrated my thoughts.

"So, when you looked over at me, the shock on your face was due to my reaction and not because you forgot I was there?" I asked.

"Yes. When I realized how upset you were, I felt horrible. There is little I can do about the way she behaves toward me and not hurt my career. I certainly can't tell her that I'm involved with my resident, now can I?" he teased to help lighten the mood.

"No, I guess we can't exactly be open about our relationship right now," I sighed. Secrecy had been front and center in my life ever since Edward Cullen first decided to bring me into the realm of the supernatural.

"Not around here, no, but I was hoping you would agree to accompany me on a short trip to take advantage of your time away from the hospital."

"Don't you think it would be a bit obvious that we are both gone at the same time?" I asked. I really liked the idea of traveling with Carlisle but not at the expense of our reputations.

"Actually, it's the perfect time for me to take a breather. What better opportunity than when the person I am supervising is gone? That way I do not have to burden another Attending with the task." He smiled to show he was not being totally serious.

"Are you saying you also have the next four days free, Dr. Cullen?" I could barely contain my growing excitement at the prospect of getting him to myself for four whole days.

"Yes, Dr. Swan, that is exactly what I am saying."

Wow, ninety-six hours with the good doctor. A fan girl squee threatened to bubble to the surface before I regained control of my emotions.

"What, exactly, did you have in mind, Dr. Cullen?" I loved the almost imperceptible shiver that always ran through his body when I referred to him as doctor.

"I believe Alice has taken the liberty of packing your bags. We need to leave in about fifteen minutes if we are to catch our flight."

"Huh?" was my eloquent response.

"Have you changed your mind about spending your vacation with me?"

"No! Not at all, of course not. The thought of Alice packing for me is just a little scary. And you didn't answer my question."

"Isabella, we really need to leave for the airport soon and I doubt you want to leave the house in your sleepwear." He gave me a knowing smirk as I looked down at my attire.

He was evading my question but I didn't have it in me to be upset. If he wanted our destination to be a mystery for now, I could live with that. The immature part of me that hated not having control over everything dissipated a long time ago. Besides, where we were going was not nearly as important as the fact that we would be going there together. I smiled happily at the thought before I ran into my room to change. The suitcase hovered in the corner just begging for me to peek inside. There was no telling what Alice had packed. I did not have any time to repack anyway so whatever was in there would just have to do for this adventure. Hopefully, I wouldn't be too mortified.

A few minutes after I emerged from my room, we were in Carlisle's car speeding toward the airport. We were parked and through security before I tried again to ask about our final destination. The gate he led me to indicated our flight would land in Salt Lake but I was pretty certain that was not where our trip would end. I glanced over to find Carlisle, the picture of leisure, reading a magazine and leaning back in his chair. I rolled my eyes at him and dug out the novel I brought to help pass the time. He quirked an eyebrow at me but did not say anything. Finally, the gate attendant began mumbling boarding instructions into the microphone. Carlisle put his hand on my lower back as he located our seats. When we crossed into first class I fought the urge to make a smart ass remark. For some reason, Carlisle spending money on me was easier to accept than Edward's lavish gifts had been. I refused to wonder why though.

The plane ride was comfortable even though we did not say much. Most of the time, I watched Carlisle as he fidgeted in his seat. For the life of me I could not figure out what was making him so nervous. It wasn't like he could be uncomfortable or afraid of crashing.

We had so much to talk about that I worried all of the things currently left unsaid would loom over us like a dark cloud. These few days off were supposed to be about relaxing and releasing stress. My fear was that they would be tense and unnerving instead. I decided we would get everything out in the open as soon as we reached a hotel or got onto another plane. That way, we could move past all the awkwardness and enjoy our rare chance to spend some quality alone time without worrying about who might see us together.

With that decided, I refocused my attention on the book in front of me and slumped into my cushiony seat. After this, there would be no way for me to ever fly anything other than first class. I did not miss the too little leg room or the narrow seats I had endured on every other flight I had experienced. No wonder Carlisle gave me a stern look indicating I should not argue when we walked into the front section of the plane. I could not even imagine him anywhere near coach. He would look so out of place back there. Not that there was anything wrong with those who did, Carlisle just didn't. My seventeen year self tried to convince me that I did not belong by his side at all. But, the choice was his to make, not mine. I had no right to make that decision for him. And, I knew, I would stay as close to him as possible for as long as he would allow.

As I expected, we did not leave the airport once we arrived in Salt Lake City. I tried not to be disappointed as I was sure wherever we ended up would be fabulous. An opportunity to explore this city would come one day. It was definitely one of the top twenty places I wanted to visit. My mom and Phil had been there a few years back and raved about it. As if reading my mind, Carlisle addressed my thoughts.

"Don't fret, Isabella, we will return here one day so I can show you all the amazing places this city has to offer," he assured me as his long arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"I'm going to hold you to that," I responded in the sexiest tone I could muster, which wasn't very sexy at all but still made Carlisle shiver a little.

We bantered back and forth until it was time to board our next flight. Carlisle had managed to keep me turned away from the digital boards that would have provided me with the information I so desperately wanted. He covered my ears or distracted me with whispers every time an announcer came over the loud speaker threatening to reveal the secret location of our semi-impromptu trip. I wondered if he would tell me before the pilot or one of the flight attendants spoiled the surprise. Hearing it from Carlisle would be so much better, in my opinion. I highly doubted he could keep me from finding out once we were aboard the plane. They tended to mention the destination several times before taxing down the runway. Not that I would mind if he continued his current methods of distraction.

"Denali National Park," blew quietly across my ear.

"Excuse me?"

"That is where we are going. It's a beautiful place that is located in Alaska. I think you will thoroughly enjoy the area."

"Oh," I managed to squeak out. His close proximity and the way his breath brushed against my skin were intoxicating.

The seat belt sign had just been turned off when I finally found the courage to face the conversation we needed to have in order to put our past where it belonged, behind us. I wanted to get it out of the way just as much as I wished we could just ignore it all. Carlisle brought his hand up to cup my cheek and looked at me thoughtfully.

"You look you have a lot on your mind, my dear. I'm sure there is a great deal we need to discuss before we can relax and enjoy our time together. May I suggest we wait until the morning? Once we land in Anchorage, we still have to drive the short distance to our hotel in Denali."

"Carlisle, I don't think we should put this off any longer. It feels like this thing hanging in the air between us and I just want it gone. Does that make sense?" I questioned afraid I wasn't doing a competent job of explaining my thoughts.

"Okay, Isabella, if that is what you would prefer. Please know that I will answer any question you ask truthfully, whether I think it's what you want to hear or not."

"I understand and I appreciate your willingness to be completely honest." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Why did you bring me to Seattle?" I figured I'd start off with what I saw as the most important.

"I did not 'bring' you to Seattle, Isabella. I was utterly surprised when I saw your name on the missive regarding this year's residents. I didn't even know you were assigned to me until the day before you started at the hospital," he responded sincerely.

"From the moment I saw your face on the stairwell, I believed you and your family were the reasons for my being assigned to Northwest. I guess I owe you an apology for making such an assumption."

"Bella, there is no reason to feel guilty. That is certainly a fair deduction considering how my family and I handled you in the past. We saw you as something to protect rather than as the strong, capable young woman you were. For my part in that, I am truly sorry." Hearing his confession of the way the Cullens viewed me back then was actually quite a relief. I was finally getting the closure I needed.

"When Edward left he told me that vampires are easily distracted, that I was easily forgettable. Is that true? Will you soon grow tired of my presence and leave just as he did?" My entire body tensed as I waited for Carlisle's answer to this.

"Is that what he said?"

I nodded while fighting back the tears that threatened to escape.

"Wow, I had no idea. He never told us how he left things with you."

Carlisle turned to face me fully then and grasped both my hands in his. I could tell that whatever he was going to say next would be difficult to hear. I hoped I was up to withstanding the blow he was about to deliver.

"Just say it, Carlisle," I insisted after a few moments of his silent hesitation.

"Edward lied to you that day, Bella. As a genus, vampires are not easily distracted and we never forget anything. I'm not sure why he said those things to you. In order for us to be completely past this, there is something you should know. I just don't know if I have the strength to tell you." His face fell as he spoke and I became worried about what he was not saying.

"There is really nothing you can say about Edward that will change the way I feel about you." He had to know I was in love with him even though I had never said the words.

"This might." His grip tightened on my hands.

"Carlisle, you promised to be honest even if you didn't want to, remember?" I prompted.

"Edward never stopped loving you or wanting you. No matter what he said that day, he has always and will always love you," he said the words so fast I almost could not understand them.

"Edward loves me?" My inner dialogue apparently forgot it wasn't supposed to actually speak what I was thinking.

"Yes." Carlisle cringed as he answered and looked as if he were preparing himself for a punch to the face or something. As if I could ever hurt him, even if I wanted to do so.

"Oh," was all I could force out as my mind scrambled to make sense of this new information.

Deep down I had expected as much, but having the idea confirmed was not easy to accept. Edward had told me he loved me so many times. My teenage self just had a hard time comprehending how someone as seemingly perfect as Edward could love someone as ordinary as I was. The notion of him lying all those months was easier to believe than the thought he was lying when he denied his feelings. Despite everything, I knew Edward still had a piece of my heart. He probably always would. Hearing Carlisle tell me that Edward loved me in spite of what he had said that day threw me for a loop. For a few moments I just sat there and digested the new information.

"I guess he meant what he said then. He did love me enough to leave," I muttered.

"If you'd like, I can have Alice locate him for you," Carlisle offered and I stared at him.

"Why would you do that?" I asked dumbfounded.

"He won't leave you again if we can find a way to convince him to meet us somewhere. No man or vampire has that amount of strength."

"You think I want to be reunited with Edward?" My mind was finally starting work again.

"I know how much he hurt you when he left so I can understand if you are angry with him. But, I'm sure knowing he is still in love with you makes staying away from him impossible."

"Wait, I think I need to make something perfectly clear. Edward is in my past. Having his love for me validated does not change the fact that he left or how much I've changed in the years since his departure. And it absolutely does not change what is going on between you and me, Carlisle."

"Bella, please do not say what you believe I wish to hear," Carlisle retorted almost angrily.

I captured his hands in mine and waited until he met my gaze before I began speaking again. This was not how I had planned this moment, but I didn't have a suitable alternative. Carlisle needed to know how devoted I was to him.

"Please believe that I would never lie to you about anything, especially not about how I feel. Edward hurt me deeply when he left, but I have moved on from that. I cannot say a part of me does not still care for him because that would be dishonest. He was my first love and was my entire world while I knew him. But he made the choice to leave and I cannot regret his decision. Looking back, I realize he did me a favor. I was so young. He showed me how it felt to be adored at a time when I needed it most. He made me a better person because he loved me.

"I owe him my thanks, but not my heart."

"Can you honestly say that if he showed up right now, you would reject him?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, as crazy as that may seem, yes. My affection belongs to someone else now. I only hope the sentiment is returned in equal measure."

Carlisle studied my face as if trying to find a hint of insincerity. He would find none there. Without another word spoken, he embraced me as tightly as possible in our positions. The armrest between us dug into my abdomen but I ignored the discomfort it caused. Being in his arms like this was better than I ever imagined.

"I love you, Isabella Swan," Carlisle said right before pressing his lips to mine.

"I love you, Carlisle Cullen," I responded as soon as I was able to pull away from him a little.

The words brushed across his mouth as I spoke and Carlisle growled softly.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please feel free to follow me on Twitter storypainter I mainly just ramble on about my 2 year old son and his crazy antics but we have fun over there and I would love for you to join us!

I also just posted the first chapter of a sweet little E/B story if you're interested. It's going to be absurdly fluffy.

Thanks!

~SP