I may write how Minato and Itachi get together, I'll probably post it separately and tell you guys when it's out ^^
Notes for this chap: the "maneki neko" mentioned later is a Lucky Cat Statue.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sensei
If I don't Laugh I'd Cry
Chapter 11
"Look, as much as I hate you and the thought of being in your presence for any more than the five periods a week that I already HAVE to makes me want to eagerly jump of a high cliff- *heavy inhale*- But my Dad, he looks really happy, the most than he's ever been with anyone, so even though I want to kill him for not considering MY feelings when making a decision like this, I think I can try to be okay with living with you."
"I feel the same, Nii-san seems different, he's never been open to me with the people he dates so Namikaze-san must truly mean something to him. Besides, we made a promise to each other that we won't be separated, wherever Nii-san goes I will too."
"Geez, brother complex much? HA HA HA-OW! You hit me! Corporal punishment is illegal in this country!"
"We're not in school jackass! *smirk* and as your Onii-sama I can do whatever I want to you."
"Onii-sama! HA!-OW!"
So that's how it was decided that we would keep our mouths shut and tolerate each other, at least for now, all for the sake of that idiot I call my father and Uchiha-teme's brother. But even though the demon and I had talked it through at school and decided to act normal around our family, my head was still spinning from the sudden change as I watched with my own baffled eyes Uchiha-teme, out of his usual black suit and in everyday jeans and t-shirt, carrying boxes of his stuff into my house that weekend.
"Stop staring at me and help out dumbass." He snapped at me, he had rest the box down so that he could pick up a sock that had slipped out, two female joggers who happened to be passing did a double take and almost ran into each other.
"Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing, it's dangerous." I told him as I kicked his butt gently with my foot as I passed, reluctantly noting how surprising supple it was (supple Naru? Really?- something is wrong with me….), and Uchiha-teme glared a warning at me.
The moving van had been parked in our driveway since early that morning. Itachi and the pedophile didn't bring a lot of things out of the apartment that they apparently lived in before, only their clothes and other stuff that was important to them, so there wasn't really much to move into the house in the first place. But that didn't stop Dad from inviting everyone to 'help out', as he put it. I think he just wanted them to meet the two new members of the family.
It was hard to tell but I think Gaara was a little caught off guard when I told him at school about the whole thing; he just sort of froze and watched me in that serious way he does that makes people think he's going to kill them. But then he just asked me a few expected questions about how I felt about it, to which I smiled and said I didn't care as long as Dad was happy. He must have believed me because now he was inside getting to know Itachi, I think they'd like each other too because they have the same intimidating aura.
Baa-chan and my other perverted grandparent arrived just as I was bringing in the last box.
Baa-chan slipped her dark shades down her nose so that she could get a better look at me, then she smiled, "Looks like Minato finally found something useful that his brat could do."
"Dad!" I stuck my head through the front door, "Your haggy mother is here!"
Baa-chan pinched my cheek, hard, as she stepped passed me and I rubbed the spot and pouted.
"Hey kid." Jiraiya (I prefer to call him Ero-ojiisan) ruffled my hair; he followed me inside, "So how are you taking the sudden change?"
I almost rolled my eyes; I think I was getting tired of people asking me about this, "I'm moments away from asphyxiating myself." I muttered the truth under my breath and Ero-ojiisan looked confused.
"Huh?"
I grinned at him, "Oh just great! So much fun!" I told him with my best fake laugh.
"Dobe, why are you taking so long with the box?" the princess came down the stairs looking irritated. I was about to tell him that I was busy throwing it into a lake when Ero-ojiisan caught my attention. The much taller man bent lower so that he could, to my amusement, pat Uchiha-teme on his head.
"Naruto," he said as he turned to wink at me, "who's this cute little lady?"
I looked quietly between the two of them a couple of times, Uchiha-teme's expression of heated disgust and my perverted grandfather's conniving grin, then laughed until I think I cracked a rib.
Uchiha-teme's face went red from both anger and embarrassment, every time I looked at him I laughed harder, I pointed too just to rub it in.
"Did I say something….?" Ero-ojiisan pondered as he watched me stumble towards the kitchen laughing.
"What's all that noise about?" Baa-chan asked me as I dropped myself in a stool next to Gaara, my head falling on the bar counter. I shook my head at her because I hadn't caught my breath enough to speak, but she soon saw Sasuke-teme walk in with my puzzled grandfather and her face brightened a little, "Ah Uchiha-san, how's the move going?"
Ero-ojiisan paused and he looked back at Sasuke-teme as if seeing him for the first time, then he chuckled nervously as he scratched at his head of pale hair, "Ha ha, you're the younger Uchiha, sorry about that."
The demon didn't reply, with a tight lip he walked passed my grandfather and went for the fridge, I guess for something to drink.
"What did you do?" Baa-chan snapped at her husband as she slapped him on his shoulder and Ero-ojiisan shrugged.
"Would you like anything to drink Naruto-kun?" Itachi asked me, he seemed to be the bartender for this little party, he was pouring some iced tea for Baa-chan (though with the flask she was pulling out of her pocket it was soon to be spiked) and Dad was beside him forming some onigiri. Itachi's eyes shifted to me and I almost hissed out loud, I had been avoiding him all day because the guy had the weirdest air about him, it wasn't intimidating he was just too- well, let's just say I avoided him because I didn't want him to see me blushing and I hoped none of the girls in my school finds out about him living with me because they'll probably camp out right in front my door.
"Nah, I'm good, thanks." I told him while facing Gaara, my cousin cocked his brow at me like he thought I was behaving weird. "Right Gaara, you texted me something about Neji yesterday?" I quickly tried to get his mind off of it. Gaara leaned back in his stool his arms folding as his eyes closed and I wondered who pissed him off because that was Gaara's bitching stance.
"The vice president of the student council quit this week, he's transferring schools."
"Oh, right in the middle of the term too, sounds annoying." I told him and Gaara nodded.
"It is, and now I'll have to hold an election to fill the position."
"Why don't you just give it to Neji? Isn't he the Treasurer?" Gaara glanced at me in a way that made me wonder if I said something bad. "You don't want Neji to be the vice president?"
"It's not exactly that, I'd just prefer if he kept his position as treasurer. I think Neji, and I, would feel more comfortable that way."
Okay, I was lost now and Gaara could see it in the blank expression I gave him.
He sighed, "I guess I'll have to explain, you probably haven't noticed but ever since we first met Neji in junior high, somehow, no matter what club or school activity I took part in Neji was typically close behind. At first I didn't mind but usually because we have similar interests we'd be paired up and that's when I noticed that he behaves-differently around me."
"Differently? Ha ha, I'd love to see Neji acting 'differently'. What's that like anyway?"
"I can't really explain it, I'll just say that it's sort of like having someone breathing down your neck all the time, anyway that's why I was satisfied with the space between us in the student council, but now that the vice spot is open he'll probably be aiming for it."
"So basically you'd take anyone as the vice president as long as it isn't Neji because he creeps you out?"
"Basically."
"Wow, out of all the people to freak you out Neji was like nowhere near that list. What about Hinata? Think she's a stalker too? Does she give you the chills?"
Gaara ignored me, his attention going to my Dad who had mentioned something about Gaara's birthday, apparently it was coming up soon and he'd asked Dad if he could hold the party at our house.
"Of course it's not a problem but I was just wondering why ours and not yours Gaara?" Dad asked him.
"The apartment doesn't go well with the theme." Gaara told him.
"And what's that?" I asked.
"It's a horror themed party." Gaara answered and I stuck out my tongue.
"Eh, I want no part in this, I'm not even coming."
"That'll be difficult as I'll be turning this place into a haunted house and everyone you know is going to be there."
"Eh? You're going to turn my hou- why?" asked with a disgusted look on my face, I hate stuff like scary movies and haunted houses. Who in their right mind would willingly scare themselves? Made no sense to me….
Gaara on the other hand was sort of a horror film junky, not that that wasn't obvious.
"I've wanted to do this for years and this house has that perfect antique feel to it, after Kiba and I are done it'll be the scariest thing you've ever seen."
I tried not to shiver when Gaara said that, the guy is frightening by himself, I didn't even want to think about anything that was produced in the dark depths of that dangerously obscure mind of his.
"So do I have to wear some sort of costume or something?" I asked him.
"It's not Halloween Naruto, wear whatever you want."
After dinner everyone left, I tried to convince Gaara to let me sleep over at his home (my plan was to then slyly extend the 'just one night' to 'forever!' and move in with him, even if I had to suffer through living with Kankuro it would be better than being around that demon-sensei all the time) but I think he figured it out telling me that I should stay here and get to know my 'new family' better. I think I heard a smirk in those words but with Gaara you never really know.
But now the house was awkwardly quiet, the only sound being Dad and Itachi talking about work inside the office, their low serious tones was all I could hear as I made my way up stairs towards my bedroom. It felt strange having new people in the house, even when I can't see them; I was so used to it being just two-
"WH-WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING?"
"Seriously, do you even know what an inside voice sounds like?" Uchiha-teme growled at me, it was the first time he'd talked to me since the incident with my Granpa and for some reason I was worried about the silent treatment but now I just wanted to know why the hell was he standing in MY room. And why was there a futon on the floor?
"What's with the futon?" I pointed at it like it was bug on the ground.
"What's going on?" Dad appeared behind me in the doorway, he look at the situation the gave me one his 'forgive me cause I'm cute' smiles, "Oh right, Naruto I guess I forgot to tell you, the geust room that's supposed to be Sasuke's new room isn't ready yet so you and him will have to share for a few nights."
"You're sleeping on the floor." Uchiha-teme deadpanned.
"Do you mind?" Dad asked me and I almost tackled him.
"OF COURSE I M-"
"Ahem!" I glanced at the bastard and his pointed look reminded me of the oath of keeping our loved ones happy we had made just a while ago.
"Don't mind, I don't mind at all." I said with a voice shaken and strained by the weight and pain of what I was agreeing to.
"Good, thanks Naru, you're such a good boy." Dad told me as he ruffled my hair then kissed my forehead. When he was gone I turned on the pedophile.
"You better not try anything, I'm a level 8 Panda Scout, I can sleep with one eye open!" I warned him and he looked at me like I was stupid.
"Level 8 Panda Scout? And you're proud of that? Anyway, like I said before I want nothing to do with you. Now get out."
"Why? It's my room?"
"Cause I'm going to take a bath moron."
"It's my bathroom too! Use the one downstairs!"
"Naruto! Is everything okay?" I heard Dad call out and I stiffened.
"Y-Yeah, everything's great, nothing to worry about!" I call back and when I turned back to Uchiha-sensei he was smirking in that conniving way that made me worry.
"You're a bastard." I told him and he rolled his eyes.
"I heard you for the millionth time already. You know if you read more it might grant you the capacity to construct more inventive insults."
"Don't insult and lecture me at the same time, we're not at school!" I whispered harshly at him as I pointed, I came closer too just in case I was still being too loud and Uchiha-teme's eyes flicked up and down my body then looked into mine as he held his ground. "Look, when we're at home its fair ground, you're not my bastard sensei, just a bastard, and I'm not you're student. And you're NOT my brother either."
"Fine with me."
"Good!"
"Great."
"FANTASTIC!"
"Naruto!"
"OKAY DAD! OKAY!" I shouted at the door and when I turn back to Uchiha-teme I stilled because I just realized how close we were, so close that I could now say that his sweat smells sweet, I also found myself beating down a strange urge to move hair that was falling tiredly in his face. I gulped.
"Get out." He told me simply with a somewhat cold glint in his onyx eyes and I stepped back wordlessly and headed to the door. "If you come back in here while I'm in the bathroom I'll castrate you with a fork."
"Who'd want the calamity of seeing you naked anyway?" I said before I closed the door behind me, "Hey, don't forget to wash your tail!"
I stood in the hallway mindlessly listening to the bastard moving around in MY room and at the same time wondering about what I was going to do as I wait for him to finish. I could hear Dad chuckling, and it wasn't in a pervy way else I'd have been out of here like a bird on fire, it sounded like he was having fun. It sounded good actually, hearing him laugh like that made me believe for a moment that this change wasn't so bad.
I decided to join them mostly because I figured there was no way I could avoid Itachi forever, I'll just have to get used to the extreme Bishōnen aura he exudes. When I opened the door to Dad's office I found him and the man mentioned sitting on the sofa, both were bent over an album and cuddled quite close. Eh, they're canoodling, I should leave them alone. I thought and was about to close the door but Dad looked up.
"Naruto, do you remember this?" he held up the album for me and my mouth dropped.
"Dad!" I glanced frantically at Itachi, the small smile on his lips as he looked at me made my face red, "My baby pictures! Why!"
"Because they're cute." He grinned at me.
"They are." Itachi told me and I actually got redder.
"I'm naked in most of those." I whimpered.
"Yeah, he used to have this thing against clothes back then; they kicked him out of day care because of it." Dad shared and I glared at him.
"Naru, would you get the other albums in your room? We're almost done with this one." He asked me.
"Sure Dad, obviously you haven't embarrassed me enough…"
I was grumbling as I walked down the hallway towards my bedroom, I'd thought I had hid all of those forbidden albums, he must have saved that one. I opened my door and walked to my closet, pushing through my clothes in search of the old jacket I had placed at the bottom, wrapped inside were the albums. But I paused when I heard my bathroom door open and then a soft gasp. Only as I was turning to see who it was did I remember that I wasn't supposed to be in here, but it was too late.
Uchiha-teme's sleek and pale naked body was before me and in all my years of being a 'straight' male nothing has made that much blood rush that fast into my crotch, it almost hurt. And I couldn't look away. FUCK! LOOK AWAY DAMMIT! LOOK AWAY! But I couldn't, my eyes were like starved dogs lapping up and devouring his image like it was a thrown meal, I think I stopped breathing. I wanted to do things to him, lots of things. Things I didn't even understand.
I didn't really notice Uchiha-teme's face flushing or the cute way he begged me not to look with his eyes, finally becoming too embarrassed to shout at me he grabbed at the first thing he could get his hands on, which happened to be the heavy metal maneki neko Ero-ojiisan had given me when I was seven. And threw it blindly at my head. I woke up two hours later with a black eye and the worst head ache of my life.
End of chap 11
Tell me what you think plz
I'll try to update sooner ^^