As the weeks went by, Ramiel felt more and more human. He still had his Grace, but he could feel his humanity coming closer to the surface. Part of it was definitely caused by his being away from Heaven from so long, since he was more human in recent years than he had been just after he fell. But he was sure another part of it was caused by his increasing emotional investment in something so human as a relationship.
He saw Rina more and more. Everyday between the end of her workday and the beginning of his, they would sit in the bar and talk. Sometimes Rina would introduce him to others in town, and it wasn't long until Ramiel had his own circle of friends for the first time in a long time. On weekends they would always find something to do; sometimes they would go out for a movie and dinner, other times they would stay in and make dinner for themselves.
About a month after their first date, Ramiel took Rina dancing at a hall in the city, something she hadn't done recently but had wanted to. Ramiel had learned quite a few dances in his time, and dancing gave him a good excuse to hold her close. Rina, for her part, wasn't as bad a dancer as she claimed to be. She was able to keep up on a variety of dances, smiling the whole time. They had just finished a waltz when Ramiel asked if he could kiss her. Rina giggled and said yes, she would like that. So Ramiel had kissed her gently for a moment before the next dance started, reveling in the feeling of his lips against hers. It had been so long since he had felt this kind of physical closeness that he had almost forgotten what it felt like.
Ramiel met her family, and they all seemed to like him. He certainly liked them; they were kind, hardworking people and they greeted him with open arms. Rina was disappointed when Ramiel told them he wasn't sure they would be able to meet Gabriel.
"Gabriel isn't one to get wrapped up in things like this," Ramiel had said.
"You said you were close though," Rina had objected. "I'm sure he'd come for something like this."
Ramiel had sighed, relenting. "I'll check in with him," he had allowed. Of course, he never did. He thought bringing Gabriel down here would just further complicate things.
The weeks drew into years and Ramiel and Rina found a place to stay together. Ramiel had switched shifts so he worked during the day and could spend the evenings with Rina instead of having opposite schedules. He felt calm for once, not as if he had to keep moving.
But in the back of his mind, Ramiel knew he was getting closer to the point where he would have to leave. With his vessel not aging, it wouldn't be long before people started to notice that he still looked exactly the same as he had when he arrived, but he couldn't bring himself to care; Gabriel would have to force him away before he would willingly leave Rina. Even so, leaving was often what he thought about at night while she slept beside him. In the few short years he had known her, Rina had changed so much. She was no less beautiful, but her features were more defined and she carried herself a little straighter, much more confident in herself. If he had noticed these little changes in her, he was sure she had noticed the lack of changes in him, and that pained him. At some point she would mention it, she would notice that he was still the same while the world was changing. And when that day came, he would come up with an excuse to put her at ease, and he would leave while she was asleep. There was nothing else he could do without pulling her into his world, and he didn't want to do that to her.
So in the time he had left to share with her, he did everything he could for her. He took her to see places she had always wanted to visit: New York, Paris, London. She asked how he could swing all of it and he told her that money had never been an issue for him, which was true, seeing as all the money he had ever made before meeting her had gone to savings since he hadn't needed to pay for anything.
In the summer of 1985, not long after their five year anniversary, Ramiel came home from work around dinner time, as he usually did. He hung his coat on the peg by the door and looked around the entryway, thinking that the house seemed too quiet; Rina was usually humming to herself as she cooked at this point. Nothing, just silence.
"Rina?" Ramiel called, worried. He didn't move from the entryway, ready to grab his angel blade from his coat if necessary.
"Caleb!" Rina's response from upstairs.
Ramiel had begun regretting not telling her his real name about four years ago, but he had never been able to bring himself to correct that mistake, and now he was sure it was too late. "Where are you?" he asked, mounting the stairs.
"Right here," she said as she came down the stairs toward him, a grin on her face.
Ramiel smiled at her. "You look happy," he said.
"Of course I do, you're home," she said, throwing her arms around him.
"Is that so?" Ramiel said, kissing her cheek.
"I want to go out to dinner tonight," Rina said, pulling away to look into his face.
"Okay," Ramiel said, brow furrowing in confusion. "What's the occasion?"
"Oh, nothing," Rina brushed the question off. "I just want to go out."
"Alright. Where should we go?" Ramiel turned and started heading back down the stairs.
"The place on the beach," Rina said, following him.
"Where we went the first time?" Ramiel asked, putting his coat back on.
"Yes," Rina said, her grin spreading.
"As you wish." Ramiel held the door open for her with a small smile on his face.
After they had finished their meal they walked along the beach, hand in hand, as they had on their first date. All through dinner Ramiel had tried to figure the reason for Rina's sudden desire to go out for dinner in the middle of the week, but she was very good at hiding her reasoning.
"Thank you for bringing me out here," Rina said.
"You don't have to thank me," Ramiel said, looking over at her. "I'll always give you want you want."
Rina blushed and giggled nervously, slightly chewing at her bottom lip.
Ramiel stopped and turned her gently so she was facing him. "Is something wrong?" he asked seriously.
"Nothing's wrong," Rina promised. "Far from it. Everything is great."
"What is?" Ramiel was still worried, despite Rina's light tone.
Rina grinned at him and bit her lip. She was excited and couldn't seem to find the right way to say what was on her mind.
"Rina?" Ramiel said, feeling a gnawing in his gut.
"I'm pregnant," Rina finally said, her whole face lighting up.
Ramiel felt his heart sink. He blinked at her for a moment. "You're..."
"We're going to have a baby!" Rina was practically bouncing in her excitement. "Isn't this wonderful?"
Ramiel managed to gather himself. He forced a smile, hoping it seemed genuine. "It is," he said.
Rina's face fell slightly, noticing his lack of enthusiasm. "Aren't you happy?" she asked. "I mean, I know we aren't married, but I didn't think that was an issue."
The hurt in her voice was enough to snap Ramiel into the moment. "No, of course it isn't," he said, letting his grin spread. "I'm thrilled. Just a little caught off guard is all."
Tears of joy filled Rina's eyes, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Ramiel. "This is perfect," she whispered.
Perfect wasn't exactly the word Ramiel would have used, but he held her close anyway, savoring the feeling of having her in his arms, safe.
Later that night, around midnight, Ramiel sat in the local church. He had never been in a church before, never seeing the need to be involved in any kind of church group. Besides, he was an Angel, and what did an Angel need to go to church for?
There were stained glass windows that would have bathed the room in color if the sun had been out. The pews weren't particularly comfortable, but they weren't uncomfortable either. Someone had left a bible on the pew where Ramiel sat, and he had opened it and read a few pages, reaching back in his memory to find the events the book described. He remembered much of it, but there were mistakes and gaps in the text, so he set it back on the pew. Really he was looking for a way to stall for time, even though he knew it would do him no good.
Finally, he sighed and leaned forward so his elbows rested on his thighs. He clasped his hands and rested his forehead on them. "Gabriel," he started, but then he paused. What was he even going to say? He knew he needed to talk to someone, and Gabriel was the only one he could talk to, but he didn't know how to start. Finally he sighed and started again. "Gabriel, I really need you to get down here. I have a problem."
"You know what I like about all the centuries before this one, now that I think about it?" Gabriel asked as he appeared on the pew beside Ramiel, popping a piece of chocolate in his mouth. He glanced over at his brother, as if expecting a guess. When none came, he said, "You didn't have as many problems. Or you did, but I didn't need to be the one to deal with them. I've seen you almost too much for my liking in the last decade alone." Gabriel clearly meant this as a joke, but when Ramiel's face didn't change from the anguished look he had been wearing before Gabriel's appearance, he relented. "What's the problem?"
Ramiel looked down, and then away, immediately sure that this was a horrible idea.
"Ramiel," Gabriel said. "What. Is. The. Problem?" He sounded more annoyed to be called and then not told than he was worried that there was a problem.
"It's..." Ramiel hesitated for another moment before saying, "It's Rina."
"Who?" Gabriel asked, furrowing his brow. "You mean that girl you were seeing? What, she leave you? That's not really my department."
Ramiel chuckled. "No, she didn't leave me." Ramiel kept his hands folded in front of him to try to keep them from shaking.
"Then what-" Gabriel's eyes grew wide as realization dawned on him. "You didn't."
Ramiel shrugged, not meeting his brother's eyes.
"Son of a bitch," Gabriel said as he stood. "You have got to be kidding me."
"I'm not. Though I do wish I were."
"You're not going to let her go through with it?"
"What the hell Gabriel?" Ramiel stood as well. "What else do you expect me to do?"
"Get rid of it. Clear her memory of the whole thing," Gabriel said angrily. "You made it three thousand years. And you blow it now?"
"It wasn't my choice for this to happen," Ramiel snapped.
"So get rid of it."
"I can't," Ramiel said. "Nephilim can't be aborted. Not without killing the mother. You know that."
Gabriel drew his angel blade. "Then kill her."
"I will do no such thing," Ramiel objected.
"Maybe you're too human to remember this, but the Nephilim are dangerous," Gabriel sneered. "When you and the other Watchers came and had your way with human women, your children were part of the reason for the Flood. The little bastards were rabid and had to be put down like wild dogs."
"And maybe you aren't human enough to realize that our Father has done some things that have done more harm than good," Ramiel snarled.
"The law against Nephilim was made to protect humanity," Gabriel countered. "And you have always loved humanity."
Ramiel surprised both of them with a laugh. "You're going to lecture me on laws? You're the one who's playing Trickster."
"You're claiming impersonating a Trickster is even with producing Nephilim."
"Were we not told to have pride in ourselves and always present ourselves as our Father's greatest warriors?" Ramiel tried to keep the condescension out of his voice. "I'm no longer a warrior. I don't act like I am. You on the other hand; you are still an Archangel, and you're playing less. You know how our Father is. He would kill both of us without a second thought for all of this."
Gabriel glared at his brother, but his grip on his blade loosened.
"A law is a law Gabriel," Ramiel said, his voice tired.
"And you expect me to just wish you well and forget about it?" Gabriel demanded.
Ramiel shook his head. "No I don't. I called you because I thought I needed to talk to someone. And it was a bad idea. You're right, I am too human, but I promise you, if you touch Rina or the child, I will kill you myself."
"Touchy touchy," Gabriel tsked, replacing his blade. "Fine, I won't hurt her."
"Thank you," Ramiel breathed.
"Don't thank me," Gabriel said. "You're going to tell her who you are and what this child means. And I'm going to be there to make sure you tell her that Nephilim grow into killers."
Ramiel debated Gabriel's offer for a moment. "Fine," he said through clenched teeth.
"Then lead the way, little brother," Gabriel said.
Gabriel rode shotgun in Ramiel's car, for no other reason than Ramiel was going to have to drive home anyway. The silence was tense.
As they pulled up to the house, Ramiel noticed that a downstairs light was on. "Dammit."
"Would you prefer to wake her up with this information?" Gabriel asked.
"Shut up Gabriel," Ramiel said, turning the car off and getting out.
When he opened the door and stepped inside, he saw Rina coming out of the living room at the back of the house.
"I woke up and you weren't there. Is everything okay?" Rina's voice was worried. When she spotted Gabriel behind Ramiel, she furrowed her brow and asked, "Who's this?"
"Rina," Ramiel said, "this is my brother Gabriel. Gabriel, this is Rina."
"Oh!" Rina said, the worry gone from her face. "So this is Gabriel."
"The one and only," Gabriel said, earning a dirty look from Ramiel. "Ramiel here told me the news and I had to get over as quick as I could."
"Who?" Rina asked, confused.
Ramiel pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "There's a lot I need to tell you," he said to Rina. "I should have told you a long time ago."
"What do you need to tell me?" Rina asked, crossing her arms in front of herself. She was clearly nervous.
"Why don't we go sit down?" Ramiel suggested.
"You can tell me right now." Rina's voice was forceful, but her lower lip trembled.
"You're gonna want to sit down for this," Gabriel chimed in.
Rina still didn't look sure of the situation, but she led the way back to the living room and took a seat at one end of the sofa. Ramiel sat on the other end so he could face her comfortably and not crowd her out. Gabriel sat in the recliner that was angled toward the sofa, leaning on one of the armrests and watching with interest.
Ramiel took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together uncertainly. "I don't know where to start," he finally said.
"Start at the beginning," Gabriel said. "You know, when you and the rest of them broke rank and royally screwed mankind over."
"What is he talking about Caleb?" Rina asked.
Ramiel shot his brother a dirty look. "My name isn't Caleb," he said to Rina, as gently as he could. "My name is Ramiel."
"Like...the constellation you made up on our first date?" Confusion colored Rina's voice.
"The constellation was made up. I am not."
"You mean... You mean to tell me that you're that Ramiel? The one you told me about?" When Ramiel nodded, she added, "So you're an Angel? Like, God and Heaven and all that?"
"Not anymore," Gabriel piped up with a slight laugh.
"Gabriel. Shut up," Ramiel ordered.
"But if you're an Angel, and Gabriel is your brother, then...he's...that Gabriel?" Rina was struggling to keep up.
"The one and only," Gabriel said again, preening slightly.
"But what does he mean you aren't an Angel anymore?" Rina asked.
"Once, a long, long, time ago I was an Archangel. I was tasked with leading souls to judgement. I was the Angel of hope, which is a little Greek in this situation," Ramiel said thoughtfully. "Anyway, back before the Flood-"
"The Flood. Like Noah's Ark?"
"That's the one." Ramiel couldn't help feeling a little proud that she was catching on. "Before that happened, I came down from Heaven with two hundred of my brothers. We taught humanity knowledge our Father had declared was forbidden to them. We also," here Ramiel paused to gather himself. "Many of us also had children with human women."
"Is that bad?" Rina asked, her hands folding protectively over her middle.
"Yes," Ramiel said. "Our Father decided that with humanity having forbidden knowledge, and with Nephilim - the children of Angels and humans - running amok, he had to purge the planet. So he saved Noah and his family, and cast many of the Angels out of Heaven, myself included. Some begged forgiveness and were allowed back at lower ranks, others were imprisoned in Heaven's dungeons."
"So," Rina was clearly trying to make sense of all of this. "Are you an Angel or not?"
"Yes and no," Ramiel answered after a moment of consideration. "I have the abilities of an Angel, though I'm greatly weakened from my time down here and my lack of connection with Heaven. But my wings are broken, and I'm not allowed home."
A few minutes passed in silence. Gabriel watched with more interest than was probably necessary, but Ramiel was studying Rina, waiting for some kind of response. Rina was sitting quietly, staring at her knees while her arms were wrapped protectively around herself.
"Are you okay?" Ramiel asked, reaching slowly for Rina.
"Don't touch me," she said, leaning away from him.
Ramiel felt a pang in his chest, but he pulled his hand back. What had he done?
"Why are Nephilim so bad?" Rina finally asked, turning to face Ramiel. "That's what you called them? Nephilim?"
"Yes," Ramiel said sadly. "The Nephilim don't usually feel any remorse for their actions, so they tend to be dangerous. On top of that, they're stronger than most Angels, and they can withstand an Angel's attacks."
"Attacks?" Rina asking in a small quavering voice.
"Luckily the Angels are under orders to stay in Heaven," Gabriel said.
"What? Why?" Rina asked. "And then why are you down here?"
"That's unimportant," Ramiel interjected before Gabriel could add anything. "The Angels will stay away unless they know the child exists. And Nephilim can see an Angel's true form, so they have a bit of an advantage."
Rina nodded and bit her lip. "What if I don't want to put the child through being hunted?" she asked, not looking at him.
Ramiel felt his heart sink. "What do you mean?"
"What if I don't want to have the child?" Rina met his eyes with tears in hers.
"A Nephilim cannot be aborted," Ramiel said, feeling tears fill his eyes as well. "Not without the death of the mother."
Tears spilled onto Rina's cheeks and her jaw trembled. "That's why you weren't excited when I told you," she said. "You knew you'd have to kill me."
"I won't kill you," Ramiel said, and he meant it.
Another pause. "Why would you tell him?" Rina asked, jerking her head toward Gabriel, who was still watching the conversation, though he at least didn't seem to be enjoying where it was going anymore. "Why couldn't you let me believe everything was going to be okay?"
"I thought he'd be a better sport about it," Ramiel said, glaring at his brother. "He's broken his share of rules over the last two thousand years."
"Whoa, hey, don't pin this on me," Gabriel said, holding his hands up. "This is all you."
"I would have told you the truth anyway," Ramiel added, turning back toward Rina. "I wouldn't have let you go into this without knowing the child was a Nephilim. It's too dangerous."
"And getting me into this situation in the first place wasn't?" Rina demanded, tears streaming down her face. "Why not just let me be?"
"I couldn't," Ramiel said, his voice pained.
"Why not? Because you loved me?"
Ramiel hated the way she said it, as if it were a lie he had told. "Yes," he said, wiping tears from his eyes. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."
"I don't believe you," Rina said.
"I know," Ramiel said.
"Ramiel, can I speak with you privately?" Gabriel interrupted, standing up and heading to the next room.
Ramiel stood reluctantly and followed. "What do you want to say? Not a good enough show for you?" Ramiel asked tiredly.
"Look, I'm all for you getting your mistakes thrown in your face, but what is going on here? Are you really that far gone?"
"You tell me," Ramiel said, holding his arms out. "Does my Grace look like anything special anymore to you?"
Gabriel shook his head. "You probably have a century before it runs out completely," he said.
"And then I'll be human. And then you can finally kill me."
"I'm not killing you," Gabriel said.
"If you kill Rina, you're going to have to kill me," Ramiel said. "I can't keep taking hits like this."
Gabriel sighed. "I won't kill her," he said. "I'll even help you ward her against the others, if she wants it. But if she wants me to kill her, I will."
Ramiel shook his head and went back to the living room, Gabriel close behind him. Rina had stopped crying and was staring blankly ahead of her.
"Rina?" Ramiel asked.
"I've decided I'll have the baby," she said blankly. "But as soon as it's born, I want out. I don't want to see you again, I don't want to see the child again."
Ramiel took a deep breath. "Okay," he said. "If that's what you want."
"Can you take my memory of this whole thing?" Rina asked, looking up at the Angels standing before her. "After the baby is born, can you make me forget about the Angels and Nephilim and everything?"
Ramiel felt like someone had punched him. "Yes," he said. "I can take the memories of you and everyone else in town that have anything to do with my ever being here. You won't remember me." Ramiel didn't even care that taking so many memories from so many years would drain him significantly.
"Good," Rina said. "You can stay until the child is born, but then I want you to take it and go."
"If that's what you want," Ramiel said, defeated. "But please, let Gabriel ward the house. It'll keep Angels from being able to find it unless they know exactly where it is. It'll protect you."
"Not just me," she said. "Everyone. The whole town. I don't want any Angels back here."
Ramiel looked over at Gabriel, pleading.
"Yeah, sure," Gabriel said. Then he looked pointedly at Ramiel. "I'm finding you after this ordeal is over, and you're going to make it up to me."
Ramiel nodded as Gabriel vanished.
"You should get back to sleep," Ramiel said, turning back to Rina.
Rina just nodded, getting up and heading to the stairs. "You stay down here," she said over her shoulder, just as Ramiel was about to follow her.
"Of course," Ramiel said, heading back to the living room. He sat on the couch and turned the light off, burying his face in his hands.