Hank fucked up and now he's gotta try and make things right.
It was time to start pulling his act together.
A heavy pounding in his head was the first thing Hank became aware of as the strip of light slipping through the blinds directly across his eyes caused him to stir. The deep dull pain spread across his lower back was the next. He let out a long groan of annoyance as he reached for his pillow hoping to block out the light, hand coming up empty as it swept across the mattress. Except his bed felt strange, the mattress harder than he remembered and the sheets rougher, he could feel the weight of the covers but his pillow was missing.
His back was flaring up like a mother-bitch and he begrudgingly peeled open his eyes, hissing in pain as the light assaulted them. Squeezing them shut tight and not daring open them again till his hand was blocking the beam of sunlight. Blinking the fuzz from his sight his brain instantly registered the granite grey carpet of his bedroom floor. Yep, that'll do it, nothing like a good night's sleep on a hard floor to crook your back up nice and proper. Peeling himself from the floor with a stuffed back was neither pleasant or easy, but with more effort than it really should have taken he managed to get to his feet.
He was really getting to old to be getting blackout drunk and sleeping on floors, he decided as he stumbled to the doorway. Supporting himself on the door frame for a moment as the room spun dangerously around him, a violent lurch in his stomach encouraging him to quickly cross the hall. Falling to his knees over the toilet just in time as his drink from last night decide to make its reappearance. The liquid burnt twice as much coming back up and Hank vaguely recalled Connor putting a sandwich on the table next to him the evening before. He didn't eat it but god he was now wishing he had.
After a couple minutes of emptying his stomach he stayed there one arm wrapped around the toilet the other draped over the seat with his forehead resting on it. His knees where starting to ache from the cold hard tiled under neath, his back felt as though he'd been trampled by twenty Sumo's and his nose and throat was now burning as well. He was getting way to old for this shit, and yet he continued to bloody do it and over what? One freaking ornate egg, it was ridiculous, he hadn't been set off bad enough to get blackout drunk this time of year since the very first easter after Cole's death. Hell it wasn't the first time he'd seen eggs around the station at easter time, Gavin had always stashed a bag of tiny chocolate eggs away in his drawer to snack on at easter ever since he first started at the precinct as a young over ambitious officer.
This time was different though, this time the egg was his partner and house mate's, Connor was the closest thing he had to family now. The egg had come home with him and sat on display in the house, the very house that had not let easter in its doors since the accident all those years ago. Obviously he wasn't ready for it, not that that was Connor's fault, it was the androids first easter after all he couldn't blame the kid for finding the whole brightly coloured egg thing exciting and new. Had he been a decent human being he'd have pushed his own negativity aside and drawn up the energy to give the kid the full easter experience. He'd already stuffed the kid's first Christmas by grouching and griping at the androids attempt at setting the house for the season, he'd snatched the tree, dragged it down the hall and tossed it back in the garage when he'd found the android trying to piece the plastic thing together in the living room one December evening. Killing the fun for both Connor and Sumo who seemed to have been helping in his own unhelpful way, though they did exchange gifts on the day.
Connor had even turned down an invitation from Markus to join the celebration he and the other androids at the new Jericho centre were holding to celebrate the season, because he didn't want Hank to be alone. The android wasn't even a year old yet, hell he was only four and a half months deviant, he had so many firsts he'd yet to experience and Hank had already managed to screw two of the major ones up already. He was a horrible person, maybe the kid was right maybe it was time he faced his demons and moved on. Or at least stop drinking away every major holiday and actually put a little effort into them for the kid.
His stomach finally over its little tantrum, Hank slowly eased his way back to his feet. Turning to the sink to wash up a little he almost gagged again at the sight that met him. Pale almost transparent blue smeared the sink and counter, a line splattered diagonally up the mirror as well. Most pooled in and around the sink though, next to the sink sat a kitchen knife and a pair of needle nose pliers and in the drain sat a partially squashed revolver bullet. The thirium was obviously hours old already starting to evaporate into transparency, another hour or so and it wouldn't be visible at all.
It wasn't so much the mess of blue blood that made him want to be sick all over again and sent a cold chill down his spine. As the incident from last night came rushing back to him, the loud burst of sound as his gun went off. As his finger brushed the trigger as he attempted to pry it back off Connor, then the silence that followed up until he was on his back with a snarling Sumo towering over him. It was the implications of the scene left in the bathroom, the blood, tools and bullet. The evidence implied the shot had not been a clean straight through, it had obviously lodged itself in the android and Connor had been left pull it out himself. Unable to heal himself with the foreign object still inside.
He'd shot him, he'd shot Connor and left the poor kid to deal with the aftermath alone. Remembering the blanket draped over him when he woke only made him feel worse, knowing that the android had still thought to make sure he didn't get cold, worried for his well being even after he'd shot him. God, he didn't deserve someone as caring and thoughtful as Connor, the kid certainly deserved way better than him. Said android hadn't woken him up this morning so Hank could only assume the kid was still in rest mode, so his body could heal the damage left by the bullet.
Continuing to the sink he turned on the tap grabbing the face washer from its spot by the bath and set to work cleaning the mess while he could still see it. Connor didn't need to be seeing this shit when he got up and he certainly wasn't about to leave it for Connor to clean himself. After scrubbing down the sink and mirror he had a quick shower to help sober up a little more and rid himself of the sent of scotch-whisky that clung to him. Once he was clean and dressed in fresh clothes he made his way down the hall pausing by the living room as he spot the android laid on the couch sans hoddie. Eyes closed and LED pulsating a calm soft blue.
It seemed Connor was still in that self healing rest mode of his, though the band aid on the kid's left should struck him as a little odd. Usually it was him who fussed over band aids and bandaging, while Connor insisted that androids didn't require such human treatment. If the wound was server enough a special patch could be placed over the wound to help encourage and reduce healing. Somewhat like a light weight mesh adhesive tape made of the same type of polymer androids shells are made of. Connor usually argued that android wounds are immune to infection therefore covering the wound was unnecessary and a waste of first aid supplies. Maybe the kid was just finally coming around to the more human way of first aid, if nothing else it was good for stemming bleeding.
Still the Kid shouldn't have been injured in the first place. He should never have been put in danger in his own damn house. Especially by him. Sumo who had been sleeping by the android's side, lifted his head looking over at Hank, and the images of the usually docile softy snarling warningly in his face flashed through his mind once more. Sumo was a gentle dog, Hank knew he'd never actually bite anyone, as scary as he had seemed in that moment. The big lug head was just protecting Connor and Hank was actually proud of the dog, hell he'd probably scared the crap out of the poor pooch occidentally attacking Connor like that.
Sumo seemed to assess the man for a few moments before rising and softly padding after him as Hank turned to enter the kitchen. Putting the knife from the bathroom in the sink before turning to fetch the dog biscuits, pouring some into the dog dish and crouching down with a stiff groan. The painkillers yet to kick in. "Hey there Sumo," He spoke softly as he rubbed his hands over the back of big floppy ears. "I owe you an apology buddy. I shouldn't have scared you like that last night and I definitely shouldn't have hurt Connor. You did a good job protecting him like that Sumo, you're a good dog. You're the best dog."
Sumo's tail wagged aggressively as he gave hank a huge kiss on the side of his face, a nice big very wet one and Hank gave a chuckle as he wiped the drool from his cheek, telling Sumo to eat his breakfast. The amusement quickly fade as he stood and noticed the scattered glass in the dustpan on the counter. Fuck. He'd forgotten about that, he had forgotten that he'd tossed his glass at the kid when he'd lost his temper, he'd even thrown the fucking bottle at him. He knew he could be an aggressive drunk at times but he'd never imagined he'd be aggressive towards Connor like that.
Never again, he swore. Looking over to the cupboard where he kept his liquor, he'd never hurt Connor like that again.
The sounds of someone shuffling around the kitchen and clicking by the sink registered in his audio processors as his healing process reached one-hundred percent and he exited rest mode. Blinking his eyes open he slowly sat up and looked over to see Hank busy at the sink, though with his back turned to him and blocking the view Connor couldn't see what he was doing. It was certainly unlike Hank to be doing dishes even more unlike Hank to be up and about before seven thirty in the morning unless a case was called in.
Perplexed by the man's actions and feeling his stress spike by five percent at the thought that the man may be drinking again already. Connor got to his feet carefully making his way to the kitchen doorway as he asked. "Hank? What are you doing?"
He paused in his tracks as he spotted the bottle in the lieutenant's hand, though Hanks words soon put him at ease. "I'm doing what I should have done the moment this became your home too. I'm tipping this shit down the drain, I won't be as tempted if there's none in the house."
Connor watched as Hank poured the amber liquid down the drain, two empty bottles already sat by the sink and the android realised there must have been more stashed away than he'd been aware of. There is one more in the fridge." Hank stated and Connor opened the fridge fetching it out and passing it over before reaching in for the beer bottles inside as well.
"Whoa, whoa. Slow down there son, lets not go too crazy." Hanks turned to the kid as he noticed him bundling up beer in his arm. Noting the flicker of blue to yellow on his temple Hank gave a sigh as he asked. "Alright, how much beer I got in there?"
"Ten bottles and six cans." Connor replied LED flickering once more as he looked from the alcohol to Hank.
"Fine, pass me half of them. I already got rid of the hard stuff but I can't go completely cold turkey." He caved, he'd just poured a couple hundred dollars down the drain what was a couple of beers.
Once the fridge only held half a dozen cans and two bottles of booze and all the bottles that had gone down the sink were empty the two of them collected them up and tossed them in the recycle tub (Connor's bloody idea). Hank turned to Connor then, scratching at the back of his neck as he said. "Look Connor, last night, it never should have happened. Hell, I got rid of that crap to make sure it never happens again. You should be able to feel safe in your own home."
"I do." The android replied and Hank just shook his head. "So my drinking doesn't bother you then?" He asked sceptically.
Connor's LED flickered once more this time the yellow refused to fully fade away as he admitted. "I suppose it can be rather distressing at times."
"I'm pretty sure getting shot in the shoulder by your drunk partner classifies as more than fucking distressing kid." Hank scoffed back, he hated when the kid spoke like that. Like he it had little emotional effect on his part, like he was still a fucking machine.
A single loop of red spun through before settling back to a solid yellow at the statement and the android broke eye contact. Peering over at the table as he spoke. "It was an accident Hank, you were heavily intoxicated and your judgement and actions were impaired. I knew you would react negatively to my interference and I knew the risks. Yet I chose to intervene anyway."
"That's not the fucking point Connor! The point is you should never have been put in that situation to begin with." Hank snapped out, frustrated that the kid was trying to defend Hanks actions. Luckily it seemed that outburst was also what was needed to get the android to finally release his own emotions that he'd been trying to hold back.
"You are right I shouldn't have! It is extremely stressful for both me and Sumo when you get like that and last night was terrifying. You didn't just yell, you were actually aggressive, you threw things at me. I was scared. I was scared for you and for Sumo, you had the gun out and I was scared you would hurt yourself... I was scared I'd hurt myself, my stress levels were in the nineties, Hank. My systems were flashing all sorts of warnings at me telling me stress levels were dangerous, that I had to reduce it, had to calm down but I couldn't, I didn't know how. Luckily Sumo was there, I don't think I'd have been able to calm down with out him."
His LED was cycling a solid red now and tears had started down Connor's face as he spoke and Hank's heart sank. "Hey, hey, come here you're okay. I'm sorry Connor, I'm so sorry." He soothed pulling the distressed kid into a hug. He had fucked up, he'd fucked up bad. Sumo was there too then, giving a small whimper as he sat at the android's side resting his chin on Connor's leg as he looked up at them.
"I had to lie to work colleagues Hank, I never want to be put in that kind of position again." Connor sniffled. Hank was taken back by that confession and had nearly voiced his confusion before reality of it kicked in. Police had been called. Shot fired in a residential area in the late hours of the night, of course someone had called the authorities. Officers would have come around asking questions and he was passed out in his room leaving the kid to deal with the mess by himself.
"Connor, I..."
"I told them I had knocked the weapon from its shelf and it discharged. I told them you were not home." Connor explained.
"It won't happen again kid." Hank promised, pulling away a little so he could look Connor in the eye. "I'm giving up the hard stuff, I'll only keep half a dozen or so beers in the house at a time so I can't go overboard. Hell, I'll even ring Jimmy and tell him to limit my drinks at the bar. I don't want you to ever have to go through what you went through last night ever again. Can't promise it'll be easy though, I'll likely get pretty moody from time to time."
"And that's new?" Connor questioned cheekily, wiping his cheeks as he gave a small wobbly half smile.
"Don't get smart with me." Hank snorted back playfully, relieved to see Connor was feeling better now, the light on his temple cycled back down to pulsating blue. He knew he was a hypocrite for always urging the android to express and accept his new found emotions rather then holding them in, especially when that was exactly what he did himself. Bottled them away deep inside where they slowly eat away at him from the inside out, but he didn't want the kid ending up like him.
"I know it is not easy for humans to give up an addiction Hank and I promise to help support you through this." Connor offered, giving a genuine smile as he stepped back, one hand dropping to rub through Sumo's fur.
"You're a good kid Connor, I know you will." Hank nodded before turning to fetch a bowl and some cereal from the pantry. "Now I'm going to attempt to keep down some breakfast, then I thought we might head down to that dog park you and Sumo like so much. Figure the two of you could use some fun after all last night's chaos."
Sumo gave a bark at that, tail wagging wildly and Connor's eyes lit up as he announced. "I'll go get changed."
"Maybe have a shower first, you still smell a little like booze." Hank called after him as he sat himself at the table, hearing the android's affirmative as he head to the bathroom. He let out a heavy breath as he tossed a clump of melded together cereal to Sumo, who caught it like a pro.
He really needed to work on being a better role model for the Kid.