Serena pulled Bernie in by her waist and began to place, soft, gentle, soothing kisses down her neck. ''you okay?'' Serena whispered up from kissing Bernie's collarbone.

''Yeah''

Serena reached up to give Bernie a quick kiss on the lips before moving back down. Serena sat up on top of Bernie feeling aroused at the sight of Bernie's naked body before her. Serena glided a finger down between Bernie's breasts and slid her hands behind her back arching her back and pulling her stomach up to her mouth. Trailing kisses across her tummy she began her confidence building mission. ''Only you could have 3 kids and still have a perfectly flat tummy'' Serena complimented her.

Bernie did not reply and Serena could sense the negative thoughts and worries spinning through her brain.

''Do you know what I love'' Serena tried to distract Bernie's thoughts and make her relax. ''These'' she said taking hold of each of Bernie's hands and kissing them all over, turning them over so that she could kiss both the front and back as she rolled her hips gently against Bernie. ''I love these skilled, soft hands of yours, these hands that care and caress me, that make me go weak at the knees in just one touch''

She looked at Bernie for a sign but Bernie still did not answer as her nerves stepped up a gear. Her anxiety kicking in, fear of the unknown, would she have to stop Serena and ruin their last night together?

Serena moved up so that she was face to face with Bernie. ''You okay?''

''Yeah''

''Do you want to stop?''

Bernie shook her head

''Are you sure?''

She nodded

Serena kissed Bernie's lips once more and reached behind her back, her hands gently lifting Bernie's thighs so that she could run a feather like touch up and down the inside of them. ''And do you know what else I love'' Serena smiled as she felt Bernie begin to relax as she caressed her limbs, letting her fingers move higher and higher up the inside of Bernie's thighs with each stroke. ''These, magnificently long, slender, sexy, legs of yours, god they go on forever, I love it when you wrap them around me, I feel so protected by you, and seeing you in those heels, my goodness, you made me so wet.''

She heard Bernie let out a gasp and a nervous giggle and finally her body relaxed as some of the tension left her body.

''But you know what I really, really love'' Serena continued. ''These beauties'' and Serena used the back of her knuckles to gentle stroke Bernie's nipples. ''You okay? Just tell me if you want me to stop'' she said reassuringly and placed light kisses around Bernie's nipples. Serena blew out a breath against them, their sensitivity causing them to harden instantly at the sensation. Bernie's hips bucked involuntary under Serena.

''You still okay?''

''mmmhhhmmmm'' Bernie nodded.

Bernie repeated the motion and Bernie's hips bucked again, Serena smiled and continued kissing around her nipples, being careful not to hurt her.

''But what I really, really love most of all'' Serena moved down to in between Bernie's thighs ''Is this'' she placed a kiss on top of Bernie's pretty lace knickers.

Serena hooked a finger each side of her hips and began to pull them down slowly and gently. Serena was mindful that this might be the time that Bernie panicked or had to stop so she ensured every moment was slow, constantly checking her expression to see if she was okay, not fully convinced she would voice it if she wasn't. Serena took Bernie's hand to comfort her, she remembered there had been times when Bernie had subconsciously squeezed her hand when she felt uncomfortable. If she squeezes my hand I'll know to stop she thought.

Serena used light touches to stroke Bernie between her thighs, and Bernie's hips went again

''Serena!''

''It's okay, I've got you''

Bernie let go of Serena's hand and stretched out, taking fistfuls of the pillows either side of her and arching her back.

Serena smiled at the sight of her, happy that Bernie trusted her enough to leave go of her hand. She began placing the softest, most gentle kisses on her clit. Serena could tell that it wouldn't take much for Bernie's orgasm to peak. She continued using her fingers to caress her and Bernie began to writhe at the touch.

''ahhh, oh, Serena'' She moaned out and Serena could tell she was close. Serena was worried about applying more pressure or moving at a faster pace so instead she opted for using her mouth and she dipped her tongue in only for a second before looking up and checking she was okay. Bernie's back arched of the bed and Bernie gasped out loud, Serena was so smug with herself, she loved the sounds she was hearing from Bernie and once again Bernies hips bucked into Serena's mouth. She gently dragged long, light licks up along Bernie clit and Bernie shouted out.

''Ahhh Serena!''

Serena circled her tongue round and round and round and Bernie shouted out in pleasure

Serena smiled and continued, soft and gentle, her arms wrapped around Bernie's body as she held her through her high. Bernie's back and hips crashing back down onto the bed and Serena kissed her tummy as Bernie shuddered through the aftershocks.

''okay?'' Serena asked, cuddling into her.

''Yeah''

''Feeling better?''

''Yeah'' Bernie smiled.

''Good'' Serena smiled back.

Bernie snuggled back into Serena's chest and Serena kissed the top of her head again smiling a big grin feeling happy with her self that she had cheered Bernie up.

Serena went downstairs to get their drinks and Bernie went to check on the little man. Serena was tired, it had been such a long day and her head was all over emotionally, although she would never tell Bernie that. She was worried about Bernie, worried if she was doing the right thing by leaving, would she regret it, she thought to herself. France had seemed like such a good opportunity at the time, a chance to move on from all the stress that had surrounded her recently, just a chance to escape it. Serena did not hear Bernie until she was stood behind her in the kitchen.

''He's still out for the count, bless him, what, what are those?''

Serena had jumped at the sound of Bernie's voice and quickly shoved something into her handbag on the bench, hoping that Bernie had not seen. She quickly took a sip of her wine and Bernie marched over, looking at Serena the whole time, took the handbag from Serena and looked down to see a small bottle of pills. She picked them up to examine the label.

''Antidepressants'' Bernie whispered, her heart sank.

Serena took a gulp of her wine and looked everywhere other than Bernie's face.

Bernie didn't know, she was shocked but not surprised, after all Serena had lost her only daughter. Bernie wanted to talk to Serena about it, she was concerned that she was drinking alcohol with them too, she took one look at Serena's face, her expression, sad and defeated, she decided that Serena would talk to her when she was ready, the problem was time was ticking, so Bernie made a mental note to approach the subject in the morning.

They went back off to bed and Bernie held Serena closes, feeling so guilty that she had been so absorbed in her own problems to notice that Serena had been feeling so low. She new she was grieving, she new she was having good days and bad, but what she didn't know was why Serena felt she couldn't talk to her about it. Bernie was heartbroken to think that Serena had been suffering in silence.

Serena awoke to find the space beside her empty, she assumed Bernie would be seeing to the little man and rolled back over to go back to sleep. Just as she was about to drop off she could hear someone talking, it sounded like Bernie was on the phone. Serena glanced at the time, 4:45, who would be ringing at this time she thought to herself.

Getting up out of bed and pulling on one of Bernie's oversized t-shirts she tiptoed down the stairs. The talking becoming louder as she reached the bottom, she waited trying to listen.

''No, no, please, no, please, stop, stop'' It was Bernie's voice.

Serena ran into the sitting room to find Bernie lying on the sofa and the little man beside her in the mosses basket. She quickly checked him over to find him fast asleep holding onto Bernie's finger as she lay on the sofa with her hand in the basket. Serena's eyes moved to Bernie who was also sleeping. Serena looked around confused; no television was on, just a darkened room with an empty baby bottle on the coffee table beside them.

Serena walked around the table to the foot of the sofa and placed a fur throw over Bernie who was sleeping peacefully, she watched them both lovingly for a second when:

''No, no, NO, I can't, no, I can't'' Bernie was shouting out in her sleep, tossing and turning restlessly on the sofa.

Serena watched in horror as Bernie became more and more distressed and restless.

''Ssshhh Bernie, Bernie wake up'' Serena didn't want to wake the baby up and she moved his mosses basket to the other side of the room, worried that Bernie may lash out in her sleep.

''No, no, no, please, please, no, it hurts, it hurts''

Serena felt sick, what on earth was going on, Serena tried to work out what Bernie was dreaming about, was it her labour, was it her time with Marcus?

It was traumatic for Serena to watch but at the same time she wanted to know what was going on in Bernie's head, she knew Bernie would never tell her, so she sat beside her on the sofa and unstuck the hair from the sweat on her face and listened intently.

Bernie began sobbing in her sleep and Serena cried as she watched her.

''owww, owwww'' she cried out as she twisted from side to side.

Serena couldn't take it any longer.

''BERNIE'' She shouted, shaking her.

Bernie jumped into a sitting position and inhaled a high pitched gasp of air, dropping to her knees of the floor and panting heavily.

Serena crouched down beside her, tears flowing down her cheeks at what she had just witnessed, she began rubbing Bernie's back in attempt to comfort her ''It's okay, it's okay, it was just a dream, your safe, it was just a dream.''

Each quick breath Bernie took in was high pitched and rumbled in her lungs, she was so out of breath you would have thought she had ran a marathon. Bernie stood up, her chest heaving up and down, she wasn't sure if her legs could carry her but she had to get away from Serena's watch. She walked briskly, holding onto any bit of furniture for support as she made her way to the kitchen, she opened the patio doors into the garden and stepped out barefoot, dropping to her hands and knees again and taking big gasps of air in attempt to regulate her breathing.

Serena joined her outside and handed her a glass of water, Bernie's full body was trembling and she lifted a hand from the ground to take the glass. She began to take a small sip, the glass shaking and water spilling out in her grip.

Bernie's remained on all fours, bowing her head as her breathing restored to a normal pace, Serena could actually hear Bernie's heartbeat as it pounded against her chest.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' Serena asked carefully continuing to rub circles on her back.

Bernie sat back on her knees and shook her head, sniffing and wiping away her tears to compose her self, Serena had never seen her look so pale.

''I need to check on the little man'' Bernie decided and before Serena had a chance to reply, she was back inside.

Bernie picked him up and held him up to her shoulder, holding onto him tight as she clenched her eyes shut and placed her lips to his head, ''Sssshhhh it's okay'' she whispered as he stirred in her arms.

WHAT THE HELL HAS JUST HAPPENED Serena thought as she watched Bernie look like a woman possessed as she gently bounced her sleeping baby protectively on her chest, wiping away each tear that fell and completely ignoring Serena.

Bernie walked upstairs and Serena decided to give her space, Serena began cleaning and tidying up, she had to do something to keep herself busy. After 2 hours of blitzing Bernie's home, Serena felt like it was safe to go up, when she got to the top of the stairs she found the nursery door closed.

''Bernie'' she spoke quietly, ''Bernie, please, can I come in?'' Serena turned the handle and pushed the door ajar to see Bernie sitting on the floor, her knees up to her chest, one hand hugging them and the other between the bars of the cot, holding her baby's hand.

Serena was so confused, but there wasn't much time for explanations now.