One week after her first trip to Seattle, Mama left us again. "Headed out?" my father asked her.
"Yes, a few last-minute things." Mama would never put on as straight a face as my father. I hadn't connected today's date to the one before Christmas, but I did now.
"Hurry back to me," he told her.
"Always."
He knew she was hiding something from him, just as I did. Did he know more than me or less? Should I ask him about it, or would that just expose more of Mama's secret? In the end I decided not to say, and tried not to think, anything more about it. Instead I played the piano with him for the evening. He was helping me flesh out my Christmas composition. When I yawned, he took his fingers from the keys. "That's enough for tonight," he told me.
I had noticed the house empty over the evening, but now saw that Kate and Garrett were the only two here. They were leaning into one another. It made me think about secrets. "Father," I asked quietly, knowing I was in need of parental guidance. Even more than my mother, I went to my father for that.
"What is it, Renesmee?"
"I have a moral question," I said, not wanting to think the whole thing out for him.
"Secrets," he murmured. "Yes, I know your mother has one, and yes I think it's important to let her keep it. She wouldn't have one if it weren't important."
I nodded. "She'll be back in the morning?"
"I'm positive."
I let him take me to bed then. As he laid me down, I sent him one more hateful thought regarding the stupid bars. He laughed, and I heard metal buckle. I sat up in shock, smiling and clapping my hands in thanks. "Grandmother will be upset you ruined it," I told him.
"She'd have been more upset if you'd chewed through the bars," he told me, ruffling my hair. "Now sleep," he ordered. "Jacob will be here soon. I'm heading back to the house to wait for your mother."
I closed my eyes obediently.
Mama was back in the morning and she, Edward and Carlisle started spending time in a clearing not far from the house. I rode to it on Jacob's back, my curls bouncing in the lightly falling snow. There were only a few days left, I knew. I wondered why they spent their time here, and Edward told me this was where they wanted to meet the Volturi. It was more spacious than our yard and further from town; I could understand thatWas Alice on her way home yet? Had she found what she needed? .
"Demetri will follow us here," he told me, and I shivered. I didn't like the idea of someone following my family, even though I knew, in this case, it was necessary. "But you don't need to stay here, Nessie. Why don't you and Jacob go hunt?"
I considered that but instead spent the day in circle with the Amazons. I'd tried to convince Senna to include Jacob, but she wouldn't hear of it. Apparently men were not allowed in circles, so I patted Jacob's shoulder and he ran off, probably to spend part of the day in La Push. He'd need to say some sort of good bye to his family, just in case this didn't end well.
Being in the circle was comforting. The Amazons hadn't been part of the ridiculous declarations that took place Christmas night, and they agreed with my assessment that a fight was to be avoided. They also agreed that the Volturi might press their advantage in trying to take my family. They left it at that. Being in their heads, I didn't need assurances that they would stand with me through what came. I stood for a moment in Kachiri's spot again, thinking of Alice. I think she's coming back, I told the other two. I think Kachiri and Alice and Jasper will be here in time.
I hope you are right, little one, Zafrina thought. We will be glad to have Kachiri back with us, and you are most likely correct that Alice beings something we need.
Alice was searching the entire time we were with her. Though it was only a few minutes, she never stopped scrying for whatever it is she needs.
I accepted their reassuring thoughts and tried to bolster their hope with some of my own.
The night after that, I slept in a tent. I was excited, and not just because sleeping in a tent was new; Jacob was staying with us. Mama and Edward sat on one side of the tent while I put my head on Jacob's outstretched arm and fell asleep to his deep breathing.
I must have tossed and turned in the night because when I woke I was splayed across Jacob's chest. I noticed I had drooled a little on him and quickly wiped it with the sleeve of my night dress. He must have felt that because he laughed at me. "Good morning, princess," he said. "And no Dad stepping on my tail!" I laughed at that.
No Dad, but Mama came in to dress me. The clothes were pretty but heavily woven. They would withstand wear like the ones Rosalie and Esme had worn when they left. Was I traveling somewhere? She put a small leather pack on my back. What was in it? Nothing much, I couldn't feel any shapes through the leather and it didn't weigh anything. Pain and grief filled Mama's eyes. I was going to be traveling, and everything I would need was in this pack. It must have contained money, because there certainly weren't many clothes in there.
"I love you," she told me. "More than anything."
I felt for my locket, saying, "I love you too, Mama. We'll always be together." I didn't make it a question, but it was.
"In our hearts we'll always be together," she answered. I wanted to cry. "But when the time comes today, you have to leave me."
I showed her how much I didn't want to do that.
"Will you do it for me? Please?"
Why? I asked in my silent way.
"I can't tell you, but you'll understand soon, I promise." This was her secret. I didn't know how much longer I could wait to hear it. Then another thought: she was leaving me, was Jacob?
"Don't think of it," she warned me. "Don't tell Jacob until I tell you to run, okay?" We were going to run. If it came to a fight Mama wanted me and Jacob to run. It hurt to think of leaving my family behind, but I wouldn't be able help them. I would go with Jacob and nodded my acceptance.
I watched her pull Aro's necklace from her pocket and fasten it around her neck. "Pretty," I murmured, remembering the subtle weave to the gold cord. I hugged Mama tight and let her carry me into the unknown.
It was better than I'd imagined it, the carpet of white. It looked like clouds were sitting on the branches of the trees. The snow made everything clean, pure. The beautiful, even surface was broken where our witnesses had gathered, and I thought of how the snow would be trampled today. I hoped it would only be the snow.
We took our place near the front of the assembly, and I moved to Mama's back, giving her use of her hands. Jacob came to stand beside me and I reached for him to share my fear and lend him reassurance, the little I had. We were going to be okay. I tried not to focus too much on the we in case my father was listening. Even as I reached to my partner, I watched my mother and father reach for each other; Edward stood next to Carlisle just ahead of us. I followed Edward's eyes to the north and put my head a little lower on my mother's shoulder, almost hiding. They were coming.
Even with my sharper than human eyes, the mass of cloaks all seemed black. The barest trace of a hue difference could be made between the lesser guard on the outside and ancients in the center. They moved as one, a practiced chorus.
"The red coats are coming," I heard Garrett mutter, but I didn't understand; the Volturi wore black.
"It is well we didn't try Volterra," one of the Romanians whispered. I was glad they hadn't either; they could do me more good here, as long as they didn't start the fight.
Then came something I didn't expect to see. More vampires, not in black cloaks. Who were they? Why were they here? No one seemed prepared to answer me. They must have grasped their purpose even when I didn't. I felt ashamed at my ignorance.
"Alistair was right," my father murmured to Carlisle.
"Alistair was right?" Tanya questioned.
"They, Caius and Aro, come to destroy, to acquire. They have many layers of strategy already in place. If Irina's accusation had somehow proven to be false, they were committed to find another reason to take offense." And they would find another reason when we proved I wasn't what they thought. "But they can see Renesmee now," I flinched and ducked a little further behind Mama, "so they are perfectly sanguine about their course. We could still attempt to defend against their contrived charges, but first they have to stop, to hear the truth about Renesmee," his voice dropped, "which they have no intention of doing."
Jacob huffed and whimpered a little. We couldn't win a fight. They had to stop. Jacob tossed his head under my hand, and I looked at him. He was grinning at me, his tongue lolling.
Then I saw why. The Volturi had stopped. They had stopped because Sam had come with his pack. His pack had grown, I saw. Younger wolves than Collin and Brady stood in their number now. I wondered which mothers were risking their sons for my sake, and thanked them.
I felt as much as heard Mama snarl. She was angry that new wolves had come to us. Senna and Zafrina growled with her.
The Volturi stopped and judged us. They did not find what they had come for. I was sure that if Alice had stood with us right now, they would not have stopped. What were they planning now?
"Edward?" Carlisle asked.
"They're not sure how to proceed. They're weighing options, choosing key targets. Me, of course, you, Eleazar, Tanya. Marcus is reading the strength of our ties to each other, looking for weak points. The Romanians' presence irritates them. They're worried about the faces they don't recognize, Zafrina and Senna in particular, and the wolves, naturally. They've never been outnumbered before. That's what stopped them."
"Outnumbered?" Tanya whispered my question.
"They don't count their witnesses." Their witnesses. I'd known our need for these to make them stop. What need would they have to justify themselves? But, of course, I knew the answer. They were arrogant. They wanted people to see their victory, to know we were destroyed by their righteous might. They made me sick.
"Should I speak?" Carlisle asked.
"This is the only chance you'll get," Edward told him.
My grandfather greeted his one-time friend and mentor. "Aro, my old friend, it's been centuries."
Seconds passed with no reply. Were they going to attack anyway? This couldn't come to a fight!
Eventually one of the dead black cloaks from the center moved forward – Aro. His retinue objected, but he stilled them. Renata would be the one behind him. From this distance I couldn't see his eyes clearly, but they did seem milky, almost pink instead of red. "Fair words, Carlisle. They seem out of place, considering the army you've assembled to kill me, and to kill my dear ones." His dear ones. How many would stay dear if they knew how they were used? A large number, I was sure, but not all.
"You have but to touch my hand," my grandfather stretched out his right arm in a gesture of openness, "to know that was never my intent."
"But how can your intent possibly matter, dear Carlisle, in the face of what you have done?" Aro frowned and seemed almost sad. Was he still a friend of my grandfather? That seemed impossible if he came here to steal members from his family.
"I have not committed the crime you are here to punish me for," Carlisle assured him.
"Then step aside and let us punish those responsible. Truly, Carlisle, nothing would please me more than to preserve your life today." There was no protest from Maggie; what he said was true. He would steal from a friend, but didn't want to kill one. How noble, I thought sarcastically.
"No one has broken the law, Aro. Let me explain." He turned his hand to offer it again.
Now another of the ancients came to Aro's side. I also recognized Caius from the painting in Carlisle's office. "So many pointless rules, so many unnecessary laws you create for yourself, Carlisle. How is it possible that you defend the breaking of one that truly matters?"
"The law is not broken," Carlisle insisted. "If you would listen..."
"We see the child, Carlisle," Caius continued. "Do not treat us as fools."
"She is not an immortal," my grandfather explained. "She is not a vampire. I can easily prove this with just a few moments..."
He was cut off again. "If she is not one of the forbidden then why have you massed a battalion to protect her?"
It was the first time this thought had occurred to me. I had thought of our friends as being here to protect my family, but that wasn't strictly true. They had come for my family, but most of them stayed for me. That was why my part had been so important. I had to make them see that I was worth protecting. I took a deep breath, mentally thanking each and every one of them. Even Amun, who was clearly here for Benjamin, not me.
"Witnesses, Caius, just as you have brought. Any one of these friends can tell you the truth about the child. Or you could just look at her, Caius. See the flush of human blood in her cheeks."
Another thought: I was going to have to touch these ancients. The very idea disgusted me, but I knew I could do it to protect my family. I growled quietly into Mama's shoulder, dreading the coming task.
Caius had called forth Irina now. I watched as he slapped her, and in that moment, I hated him more than ever. I couldn't blame Kate and Tanya for their hisses. Then he pointed at me, and I growled with Jacob. "This is the child you saw? The one that was obviously more than human?"
Irina hadn't really looked at me before, and she focused on me now, confusion crossing her face, "I... I'm not sure."
"What do you mean?" Caius hissed at her.
"She's not the same, but I think it's the same child. What I mean is, she's changed. This child is bigger than the one I saw, but..."
Caius made a sound that stopped Irina's words. Aro put a hand on Caius's shoulder. "Be composed, brother. We have time to sort this out. No need to be hasty. Now, sweetling, show me what you're trying to say," Aro crooned to Irina, holding out his hand. The sweet tone irritated me.
I felt Senna reach around Zafrina to cover my hand. Don't let anger cloud you, Nessie. Your strength is in cool logic. Remember that. I smiled at Zafrina, knowing Senna would see it too.
After a moment Aro began again. "And so we have a mystery on our hands. It would appear the child has grown, yet Irina's first memory was clearly that of an immortal child." I tried to remember what I had done that day that would have given me away so clearly. It was long ago, and at the time, unimportant. The gravity of the day came moments later when Mama caught up to Jacob and me. What had we been doing? What had I learned? That was the key question. I had seen snow. It was the first time, but the flakes were melting before I could reach them. I had jumped to catch one. If not for that, she might have thought me a human child. I wanted to weep again. This was all my fault.
I hadn't been listening closely as Carlisle argued with Aro, but now my father was kissing Mama and me. Aro wanted access to his mind for the answers to his questions. Aro would hear my songs, he'd see my pictures, he'd hear me shouting in my father's head. But he wouldn't hear one thing, a thing I didn't even think of now, and instead threw one final thought to Edward. I love you, Daddy.
I felt Mama tense watching my father walk away from us. And then I felt something I had been sure I imagined the first time. A dark blanket seemed to cover me. I turned my head to look at Mama. She laughed. Now I wasn't alone in looking at her. Had she shielded more than just me? Then Mama focused on Edward, so far away now. Had she shielded him? She had never extended that far before. Then I thought about how angry I'd been moments ago. Her shield was even more cooperative than ever.
Senna placed her hand on mine again and I felt calmer in their minds. It was easier when I could divide the fear. Is it true? Has she spread the shield?
I told them I wasn't sure, but I thought she'd reached Edward.
She'll have to pull back if he is to converse with Aro. I thought of how hard that would be for Mama, how painful. But then I remembered that I was willing to touch them and so was Daddy. Mama would just have to bear it like the rest of us.
Just then Mama hissed and Zafrina attempted to calm her. "Easy, Bella." Her rage must be peaked to extend so far. She is still young and quick to snap. We must keep her on the edge, but this side of it. I mentally nodded in agreement, showing them a plan to use my presence to calm her as I had before. She could clutch me if she needed that to help contain the rage.
I noticed a small movement on the field and was glad I had contact with the Amazons and their sharper senses. I wouldn't have heard Edward's quiet words otherwise. "You see?"
"Yes, I see, indeed. I doubt whether any two among gods or mortals have ever seen quite so clearly." Aro would never see clearly, I was certain. Just as his eyes were filmed, everything he saw was veiled by his own selfish desires. My friends agreed with my assessment.
Now came the moment I dreaded. "May I meet her?" I remembered showing Mama a false image and shared this information with the circle. They considered it a moment with me, but there were few false images worth showing Aro. Still... if I didn't take his hand, he'd be listening to me, not taking everything from my head. I would avoid that if I could. I did not want him to learn of this circle or what I knew of Mama's secret. The circle clamped down on that thought, flooding it with forest green. We will keep your secret, they told me.
Aro and Caius had just finished a spat about my heritage. "Will you introduce me to your daughter?" Aro was asking again. I swallowed bile. I felt reassurance through the circle and reciprocation of my distaste. They thought this was disgusting, too. Zafrina imagined it worse than being kissed by Jacob. I almost laughed.
"I think a compromise on this one point is certainly acceptable, under the circumstance." Where had that come from? "We'll meet in the middle." I noticed when Aro let go of my father's hand. Would their conversation have been anything like what I shared now in the circle?
No, was emphatic from all three of us. Similar certainly, but we share what they take. Even your father, though he tries to be discreet, takes what one does not give. In the circle we are equal. They were right.
That is how they were conversing though... I amended. They affirmed my assessment.
Now my father was suggesting Aro bring some of the guard to the center of the clearing, where I would have to grit my teeth and touch this monster. I should decide what I would show him. Himself? It seemed too easy for him to miss the obvious point.
Yourself. Not your birth. Your love, the love others give willingly. That will sting. I thought they were right.
"Felix, Demetri," Aro called. His lackeys came forward. I gave the Amazons one last mental hug and slipped my hand from under Senna's. I let go of Jacob and swung around to sit in the curve of Mama's arm. I could do this, I told myself. I wasn't given a lot to do; I could do this.
"Bella," my father called us, "Bring Renesmee... and a few friends."
"Jacob. Emmett," Mama asked them to accompany us. The other side was not happy to see Jacob coming with us. I couldn't thank Mama enough for bringing Jacob, though I'd rather have someone other than Emmett for a second. If anyone was likely to start the fight, it was him.
"Interesting company you keep," the smaller of the thugs mentioned to Edward. If the larger were Felix, this would be Demetri.
The larger one leered at my mother. "Hello again, Bella." Calm, I reminded myself, I'm stronger calm.
"Hey, Felix," Mama smiled at him. Why would she smile at him?
He chuckled. "You look good. Immortality suits you." So does motherhood, you big lug, I thought at him. I had learned a little of physical relationships... Then I apologized to Edward for shouting.
"Thanks so much." Sarcasm dripped from her tongue. She didn't really like him.
"You're welcome... It's too bad..." I growled a little at his implication.
"Yes, too bad, isn't it?" Mama murmured in reply.
Aro was focused on me, not their banter. "I hear her strange heart. I smell her strange scent. In truth, young Bella, immortality does become you most extraordinarily." Hearing him compliment my mother was worse than Felix; Aro wanted to possess her. "It is as if you were designed for this life."
Mama only nodded.
"You liked my gift?" he asked now.
"It's beautiful, and very, very generous of you. Thank you. I probably should have sent a note."
Aro laughed. "It's just a little something I had lying around. I thought it might complement your new face, and so it does."
Once more, Aro asked for me, and I closed my eyes in dread. "May I greet your daughter, lovely Bella?" I felt Mama's shield leave me. She'd had to do it again, once to expose Edward and now again for me. She got the worst deal.
Aro looked at us, and though I was filled with hate, I tried to smile, or at least not grimace.
"But she's exquisite. So like you, Edward. Hello, Renesmee."
"Hello, Aro." It wasn't friendly, but I didn't think it was too cold, either.
"What is it?" Caius hissed. I was insulted; I was not an 'it'.
"Half mortal, half immortal," Aro answered. Sadly, he didn't take his eyes off me, so I had to maintain my act. "Conceived so and carried by this newborn while she was still human."
"Impossible," Caius rebuffed.
"Do you think they've fooled me, then, brother? Is the heartbeat you hear trickery as well?"
Caius scowled at his brother and at me.
"Calmly and carefully, brother." He was crooning to me even though he wasn't speaking to me. I hated when people did that. "I know how well you love your justice, but there is no justice in acting against this unique little one for her parentage. And so much to learn, so much to learn!" So there was one other thing I had in common with Aro. I tried not to be disgusted by the fact. "I know you don't have my enthusiasm for collecting histories, but be tolerant with me, brother, as I add a chapter that stuns me with its improbability. We came expecting only justice and the sadness of false friends, but look what we have gained instead! A new bright knowledge of ourselves, our possibilities." I had known Aro would want me, too, but I was still hoping he wouldn't find me interesting.
He held out his hand to me, but I knew better than that. I stretched to reach his forehead instead. He was used to seeing what lies in other people's minds so my images did not startle him. I stuck with the circle's plan. I showed him me. I showed him my love for my family, our love for one another. Together we were strong. Our love was stronger than his. Would he accept that and let us go?
"Brilliant," he whispered.
I leaned back into Mama and felt her shield cover me again. "Please?" It galled me to ask anything of this monster.
"Of course I have no desire to harm your loved ones, precious Renesmee." The lies fell so easily from his tongue. My eyes stayed narrow on his; my father growled and Maggie hissed. They knew he lied, too. But he didn't know all I knew, and unless he grabbed me, he wouldn't.
"I wonder," he mused now. He was eying Jacob. MY Jacob. I had put him in with the family I loved so much. Right at the top with Mama and Edward.
"It doesn't work that way," Edward told him.
"Just an errant thought," Aro said, continuing to eye Jacob.
"They don't belong to us, Aro. They don't follow our commands that way. They're here because they want to be," my father continued to explain. How had he distorted my love for Jacob in his head? Of course. He only saw love as a form of possession. Jacob growled, and I longed to join him.
"They seem quite attached to you though. And your young mate and your... family. Loyal." I caught my father's eye and knew my thoughts were too loud; I tried to calm myself again.
"They're committed to protecting human life, Aro. That makes them able to coexist with us, but hardly with you. Unless you're rethinking your lifestyle..."
Aro laughed. "Just an errant thought. You well know how that is. We none of us can entirely control our subconscious desires." And some of us don't bother to try, I thought snidely. Then I remembered Edward and tried to shush again; I wasn't any better.
"I do know how that is. And I also know the difference between that kind of thought and the kind with a purpose behind it." I knew they couldn't be, but I thought the words were meant to include me. "It could never work, Aro."
Jacob whined at Edward, no doubt wondering what Aro's idea was. It seemed obvious to me. "He's intrigued with the idea of... guard dogs."
Not surprisingly, the area was quickly drowned by the sound of snarling and howls as the packs caught up with that thought. A bark from Sam and all were quiet again.
"I suppose that answers that question," Aro was laughing again. "This lot has picked its side." No fighting, I pleaded. No fighting.
Edward hissed and crouched. Mama put her other hand on him. I was sure he was under the shield again now, too. It was going to come to fighting. I closed my eyes and tried not to cry.
"So much to discuss. So much to decide. If you and your furry protector will excuse me, my dear Cullens, I must confer with my brothers." I opened my eyes to see my family turning to depart. It was over? My part was over?