Chapter Eleven: Heartbreaking News
One week later
Ally's P.O.V
I lie in my bed thinking about the last week with Austin, it has been amazing being back with him it feels like a dream and I'm so afraid to wake up, luckily no one has woken me up yet. Austin has been really hard on me the last week watching me like a hog making sure I eat and brought me to the hospital daily and it's working I've gained weight, I'm still underweight, but luckily out of danger.
I can't believe that he just forgave me like this after I hurt him and pushed him away, but I'm damn happy he did. I don't function without him and I don't want to, I just want to be with Austin no matter the consequences.
We haven't told Trish and Dez that we're back together yet because I don't want them to know how bad I was. Trish would feel so bad for not noticing and that's why I don't want her to see me like this, only Austin have. Gavin have texted me a few times last week, he's trying to change my mind about him and I can't exactly tell him that I'm back with my ex.
I feel horrible for breaking up with him, but I only love Austin. Gavin wants me to give him another chance and I haven't figured out what to tell him yet. I told Austin about it and he's clearly jealous, he hates that someone else is trying to win me back, but I did make it clear that Gavin had no chance to get me back so he shouldn't be worried.
My thoughts are interrupted when Austin enters my room with breakfast like he has for the last week. "Here." He says sweetly before getting back into bed with me.
"Thank you." I smile as we both eat breakfast together in my bed, I like that we have a whole week before our parents will be back. We're off school because we told our parents that I was sick and they let Austin take off school to take care of me.
They're thrilled that we're talking again so they immediately let Austin stay home to take care of me in the hope that we're friends again. Austin and I are just as close as we were before we broke up our feelings never changed if anything they got stronger than ever.
The only thing there concerns me is that he refuse to sleep with me, he turns me down every time like he's not interested in me anymore. It freaks me out, but I guess it's my fault, I hurt him deeply and I look disgusting when I'm this skinny so I don't really blame him.
Once we're done eating Austin places the plates back on the nightstand and pulls me closer, I don't say a word I just cuddle into his arms. I stay quiet for a long time just thinking about Austin and why he keeps turning me down because it's really tearing me up.
"Ally? You haven't said much today, are you okay?" He interrupts my thoughts.
"I'm fine." I lie.
"Alls, I can always tell when you're lying." He states.
"Seriously it's nothing." I try again.
"No, I'm not letting you pull away from me like this, again." He says making my eyes meet his, he looks concerned. "What's wrong?" He asks determined.
I look into his pleading chocolate brown eyes and I instantly melt inside. "I just-." I stop again not knowing what to tell him.
"Alls?" He asks with rising panic in his eyes.
"Don't you want me anymore?" I blurt out.
"Why would you even ask that? Of course I want you." He says in confusion.
"Then why do you keep pushing me away?" I ask.
"What do you mean? I'm right here." He says caressing my cheek. I decide to act instead so I lean in until our lips touch, he kisses me back without hesitation, but when I try to deepen the kiss, he stops me again. "No." He says quietly and that's where I decide that I can't take it anymore, I get out of bed heading for the door, but before I can walk out I feel his strong hands stopping me.
"What?" I snap.
"Don't go."
"Tell me why you keep pushing me away." I demand and he sighs.
"You almost died, Ally."
"I know that." I roll my eyes; I just don't see the problem.
"I should have noticed before it got this bad and I can't risk hurting you." He says with eyes full of pain and suddenly I understand he blames himself for what happened to me.
"Austin, don't do that, don't blame yourself. I did this to myself and I broke your heart none of this is your fault." I reason.
"Don't you get it, I love you and I could have lost you because I didn't notice." He says and my heart twists painfully.
"I hurt you so much, how can I ever forgive myself for that? I did all of this and I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"Yes you do, you were trying to make everyone else happy by sacrificing your own happiness." He says softly.
"I know, but I hurt everyone instead." I say.
"Please, don't blame yourself." He says taking my hand and the skin contact sends electricity through my body, I look up and our eyes meet.
I gaze into his chocolate brown eyes and I feel the same strong connection between us, I can't resist running my hands through his hair and he gently caresses my cheek. His other hand is around my waist gently pulling me closer until there's space left between our bodies.
He rests his forehead against mine as his hand move from my cheek to my neck and he slowly makes my lips meet his in a soft passionate kiss. I lock my hands around his neck holding him in place; I already feel the ache between my legs begin again and I know I couldn't bear to stop, but of course he stops once again when I'm about to deepen the kiss.
"You don't want me anymore, do you?" I whisper.
"You have no idea who much I want you, but you're still too fragile and I could hurt you." He says with pain in his voice.
"I don't break that easily." I try to convince him.
"Alls, I can't risk hurting you." He whispers.
"It's because I'm too skinny isn't it? I look gross." I crack out.
"No, you don't. You've always looked hot to me and you still do, I don't want you to feel that way about yourself because it's not true." He says in horror.
"Don't push me away, please Austin, just don't push me away." I almost beg, I can't bear if he pushes me away again.
"You have no idea how hard it is for me to push you away." He says gently touching my cheek.
"I don't want you to push me away." I say softly and I can see the struggle in his eyes.
"If I ever hurt you-." He starts, but I stop him.
"I know you won't." I assure him and it's clear that the strength behind his words is disappearing.
"We shouldn't, we should wait until your better." He tries to convince.
"I am better." I say.
"I know, but I meant-."
"I know what you meant." I interrupt him. His breathing hitches and I feel his erection against my belly; it's a huge turn on. I look into his darkened eyes and I smirk knowing that he's about to give me what I want.
"Fuck it." He says suddenly bringing my lips roughly back to his.
This time he deepens the kiss and it turns into a wild hungry kiss almost instantly, I cheer on the inside. He moves his hands slowly down of my body until he reaches the hem of my top and I lift up my arms to let him pull it over my head.
He pulls his own shirt off and I run my hands over his naked torso, I've missed this feeling. I feel completely overwhelmed by the way he touches me, he always make me feel loved, cherished and undeniably safe.
He unclasps my bra I let it slide down of my arms and unto the floor, then he gently cups up my breasts with both of his hands and I moan. "You drive me crazy." He groans before nibbling on my left breast and I throw my head back in pleasure.
He kisses me again and I feel undeniably happy, we're only left in our underwear. He backs me slowly towards the bed and I crawl backwards, he follows me without hesitation. He quickly get my panties off and his boxes as well before he's on top of me, kissing me hungrily.
"Please, I want you." I beg with so much need in my voice.
He growls before thrusting inside me and I cry out, I've really missed this. I meet his thrusts every time letting our hips collide and I wrap my arms around his neck holding him closer to me. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist giving him full access to my body and he takes full advantage as he moves faster making my body sing in sweet agony. I quickly wonder why I was ever stupid enough to push him away and let him go because I need this I need him.
I can feel in his movement, his touch, and his kiss just how much he needs me and how much he missed this, he place kisses all over my upper body and I moan at the sensation. I bring his lips to mine and I can feel how close I am, but before I can tell him he hits the right spot inside my there makes me explode, he follows right behind me moving even faster as we ride out our orgasms together.
He rests his forehead against mine as we come down from our high breathing heavily once our breathing returns to normal he pulls out of me and I cuddle close to him. He puts his arm around me as he kisses my temple softly.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asks worriedly.
"Not at all, I feel amazing." I giggle happily.
"You have no idea how many cold showers I had to take this week." He whisper in my ear and I turn around looking at him shocked.
"Wish you hadn't." I whisper.
"I know, but seriously Ally how could you even think I didn't want you anymore? I have never once since I met you found a time where I didn't want you."
"I don't know, Austin. I was so mean to you, pushing you away and then you had Piper."
"She wasn't you not even close, when we weren't together I never slept with anyone else, I only kissed Piper and it felt wrong." He explains softly.
"You didn't sleep with anyone?"
"No, never even wanted to."
"Me neither, you were completely right, I was never over you, it didn't feel right to kiss Gavin and I felt nothing when I did. He wasn't you, I never slept with anyone either because no one could make me feel like you do." I confess and kiss him gently.
"It broke my heart to see you with him."
"And it broke my heart to see you with her."
"Promise me that we never have to go through this ever again." He almost begs.
"I promise, my heart couldn't take it and I can't let you go ever again."
"I will never let you leave me again." He says with so much promise in his voice.
"I don't want you to ever let me go."
"Good because I won't!" He says crashing his lips onto mine desperately.
We spend the rest of the day in bed talking, cuddling and kissing just enjoying this moment because when our parents gets home in a week everything will be harder, but I know the answer isn't to break up because we can't handle it. Just before I fall asleep I feel like something is wrong, but I ignore it, this had been a perfect day so why would anything be wrong?
I'm in pain and it's pain like I've never felt before, it wake me up and I cry loudly before I know it Austin's arms is around me, but it doesn't help. "Ally, what's happening?" He almost scream in shock.
"It hurts, please, make it stop." I cry and my arms is instantly around myself.
"Where?"
"My stomach." I crack out and he turns on the light.
"Come, let me help you up." He whispers and removes the blankets from me, he gasp and I see his eyes wide with fear. I wonder why he looks so frighten and when I look down at myself I realize why, there's blood everywhere and I panic as the pain sets in again.
"Austin." I cry and he pick up the phone calling 911, the pain is unbearable and everything turns black.
I wake up to an all too familiar beeping sound. Not again! This time I did eat! I open my eyes and I see Austin, he's holding my hand and there is a lot of things attached to me. Why? "Austin?" I whisper and his head snaps up looking at me, his eyes is red from crying.
"Ally? Thank god! I thought you were really gone this time." He says relieved.
"What happened to me? I didn't stop eating this time."
"You don't remember?"
"What?"
"You woke up in the middle of the night screaming in pain and there was blood everywhere." He whispers.
"No," I whisper before the memories return. "Yes, it hurt, I thought I was gonna die, I was so scared." I whisper and a tear falls from his eyes.
"So was I." I pull him to me for a hug.
"Have anyone told you anything yet?"
"No, they took you away when we got here and you only got in here an hour ago." He says sadly, like on a cue a doctor enters.
"Miss Dawson?" He asks and I nod. "You gave us quite a scare, before I tell you I need to know if you want him in here." He says gesturing to Austin.
"Of course he can stay I have nothing to hide."
"Very well, I'm sorry to inform you that you lost a baby."
"What!?" Austin and I yell at the same time.
"Weren't you aware you were pregnant?" He asks shocked and Austin stares at me.
"No, I had no idea, are you sure?" I whisper. I was pregnant? No no no!
"Yes, you were about 14 weeks along or so, it's late for you to lose a baby, but we suspect it was your weight loss along with the drinking and falling down the stairs last week, haven't you felt anything this past week?"
"Yes, I felt sick and my stomach hurt at times, but-." I stop talking.
"Well as it turns out your body collapsed a week ago because of you weight loss, but it was also about to abort a child, that's what you felt pain something must have happened yesterday for your body abort. Can you tell me what you did yesterday?" He asks softly.
"Nothing really except-." I stop again, that couldn't be right, could it?
"What?" He asks seriously.
"Um I-I, could I abort by having sex with my boyfriend?" I ask fearing the answer and Austin looks frighten as well.
"In the state you were in, it's very possible that having sex could be the reason luckily you aborted yourself if you hadn't it could very well have killed you, but as far as we know you were just in bad luck. You'll be fine and you should be able to get pregnant again without problems once your healthy again, you should stay here over night, you can go home tomorrow after we checked that you aborted, sorry for your loss. If you have questions just ask until then doctors will be outside." He informs before walking out and before I know it, I'm in tears.
"I killed our baby and I didn't even know I was pregnant."
"I told you that I could hurt you." He whispers brokenly.
"No, it's not your fault, I did this, I seduced you, I starved myself and I drank so much I fell down the stairs." I cry. "It's all my fault."
"No." He cries with me just holding me closer for I don't know how long. "How could you even be pregnant? Weren't you on the pill?" He suddenly asks.
"Yes, but I stopped taking them the day we broke up, oh no, that's why I was pregnant." I whisper putting the pieces together.
"Oh."
"I can't believe I had our baby in here," I pet my belly. "And I lost it." I say painfully.
"I can't believe this, I just can't." He says with a painful cry.
"Did you call our parents?" I ask fearfully.
"No, I was trying to, but I didn't know what to say."
"Good, they can't know about it, we need to keep this a secret, no one can know."
"I agree."
"Good, now please, just hold me." I whisper making room for him on the bed and he pulls me to him, I have no idea how long we have been lying here and I don't care.
We need to find a way to heal, I can't believe I can be heartbroken about a pregnancy I didn't even know about, but one things for sure we're too young to deal with this so I need to make sure it doesn't happen again. I won't lie if I haven't lost this baby I wanted it, but since I did this can't happen again because I can't deal with this, not again.
*Disclaimer I don't own Austin & Ally or anything else you might recognize. :) I only own this story.