Balance

Summary: Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

Author's Note: Hello all! I apologize that this update is late – this week has been kind of horrible for me. Caught my boyfriend cheating, and he ended up breaking up with me (as opposed to the other way around). Pair that with some difficulties at work and I barely had time to write. And in all honesty, I had lost some of my inspiration. I didn't feel like writing any sort of romance-esque chapter because, well, it hurt. So I apologize if any of my own personal drama is reflected in this chapter.

Also, this chapter was extremely difficult for me to write. I think that I wrote it three different times. So I hope that means that you guys all enjoy it.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter, especially LindseyWasHere, ayrecroft18, SheLitAFire, MobyDuck, AngelesPG, Guest, Toothless02, Alliel 23, Guest, 2die4u, Hologernes, Imborewritenow, sharpestsatire, willowtuft, Guest, ZoopBooper, zazanga, elfigreen14, ForeverDelighted, TheKatiesBug, lotus-bugxm9, JadeLammourgy, projektrevolution20, Mia Aisli, Desna99. InfinitiesLover Akoto3725, ChasingFoxes5, cislyfe22, Nitany, MaidMarian17, bluejustice13, xXxOtaku-444xXx, Sunnyontheheights, LooernaLightlyn, Blackpen Enaru, LuzzyBennet16, bluetigresss, Whisper184, delena5eva, Nikkette, ladybear92, PertinentTech, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusfan, DashofAwesomeness, ForeverLillian, The-Splatoon-Rook 64, MmeSylveon, kidneyofcapaldi, Siilver Phantom.

ForeverLillian – I know what you mean. I understand that this ship has its problems. I have seen a lot of people compare it to shipping Jessica Jones / Kilgrave. WHICH IT IS NOT. Also yes, I was channeling Beauty and the Beast in that particular scene.

ForeverDeligted – I cannot imagine Kylo dress shopping. Some poor Stormtrooper had to do it for him, or perhaps General Hux? Either way I am laughing at the thought. And yes, Beauty and the Beast was what I was going for! And as for the flashback…. Hmmm…. We shall have to see! ;)

Chapter Eleven: Attraction and Disgust

The only sound that could be heard throughout the corridors of the starship was the fast-paced heel clicking of Kylo Ren's boots. After the altercation at dinner, the Knight's immediate duty was to relay the circumstances to his master. He was impressed that he was able to get her to unleash her anger, however briefly. He could recall the fire in her eyes, and her use of unrestrained power. For the briefest of moments, he had felt something other than contempt for the young girl. But he would not dare admit what it was. Instead, he focused on the task at hand. Rey had given in to her anger for a few short moments– an important development in her inevitable journey to the Dark Side. But she did not give in to it completely, she was able to resist it after a time. She had stayed the desire to attack him, and brought herself back from the edge. The dinner was still a failure – he needed his master's guidance on what to do next.

He made his way to the receiving room of his master, Supreme Leader Snoke. Since the revelation of their shared past and the possible last name of the girl, Snoke had grown increasingly interested in her and having him join his order. By tempting her to the Dark Side, he had hoped that the full knowledge of their shared past, and the true extent of her power, would be revealed. And, of course, harnessing that power was the ultimate goal.

Upon his entrance into the receiving room, Kylo Ren immediately genuflected at his master's feet, a sign of humility in the face of his own failure. He then began to relay the events of the evening, apologizing profusely for lack of results. "She almost gave in to anger this evening, Master. But she was able to pull back, and control her emotions. She is more controlled than I anticipated, I must admit."

"We knew she was strong," His master's voice boomed in the empty room. It lacked that anger that the Knight had originally anticipated, "It will take time, and more than just instilling anger and fear into her heart."

"Teach me what I must do, Master." Kylo Ren kept his head bent down, "Show me the way to turn her to the Dark."

"Kylo Ren," The hologram leaned forward, so that he was peering over his young apprentice, "It has been shown that you and her hold a shared past, one that she wants answers to. You are the only one who can help her discover her true self."

"She has shown no interest in learning of that past," Kylo Ren responded, keeping his head down both out of respect and shame. The Knight was curious about the shared memories as well – he wanted to know why part of his past had been kept from him. But as much as he tried to search his heart, he was not able to do so. His own power was not as great; as much as he hated to admit it, he needed the girl to find those answers. "She has not come to me for answers, like we had anticipated that she would."

"Then perhaps," His master looked down at him, his lips curling into a devious smirk, "You should go to her."

"Go to her?" He repeated, the words sounding strange upon his lips. "But she despises me, Master. And I, her. Even if I were to go to her, she would not open herself up to me." Kylo Ren braced himself for the backlash that would inevitably come from questioning his superior.

"Patience," His master's voice remained calm, even when being questioned by his lowly apprentice. "When you sense that the time is right, go to her. Make her realize that she needs you,"

Although he could only see the futility of the plan before him, Kylo Ren bowed his head in assent. He was not in a position to question his master. Without another word, he knew that he had been dismissed by the Supreme Leader. He bowed his head once again, and brought his fist to his chest as a sign of respect. He turned to leave the room.

His mind was racing with the new orders from his master as he made his way back to his own quarters.

He needed to clear his head, to clear her out of his head.

Please come home.

Kylo Ren felt her calling out to him again. Over the years, he felt her reaching out across the galaxy, telling him that he was always welcome back home. His mother was sensitive to the ways of the Force. Of course, he had always known that. It was a family trait, after all. She had learned to utilize her inherited skills from her twin brother, but she was not as skilled as Luke or her own son. She had never had the same desire to become as skilled as her own father. And because of his advanced training, Ren had always been able to push her call away.

Although her attempts decreased in frequency over the years, he occasionally still felt her reaching out. Ren scoffed every time she attempted to; he would not be governed by the wishes of a simple woman. Family and belonging were not things he desired. He would not let his mother distract him from his true calling. He would finish what his grandfather started, despite the feeble attempts of his mother to bring him back to the light. But he would sometimes just let her speak to him, without immediately pushing her away, in order to hear her voice. She would always call him back, pleading with him to come home. Sometimes, she would just reach out and speak to him about the most mundane of topics. Sometimes, she would relay stories of his childhood across the galaxy. He would never heed her call or consider going to the light. But he would sit there and listen to her voice.

It came as a shock to him that he heard her voice that very evening, after the events of that particular day. She asked him to come home, as she always did. She asked him not to harm the girl in his possession. She told him that it was not too late to make everything right; Ren scoffed at that. What absolute nonsense. But the Knight did not force the woman out of his head.

He was listening to his mother when he felt it. When he felt her, his prisoner. There was a slight shift in the Force, and he instantly sensed that Rey was at the epicenter of whatever it was. Immediately, Kylo Ren ignored the words of his mother, and focused his attention on a woman much closer to home. He sprang up from his seated position in his quarters. The doors opened automatically, letting him pass through with ease. He walked at a clipped pace, the heels of his boots hitting the floor were once again the only sound in the empty corridors.

When he arrived at her new quarters, he waved his hand, dismissing the Stormtroopers tasked with guarding those rooms. The insipid soldiers moved out of the way, so that he could enter unhindered.

The first thing that he noticed was the amount of power in the room. She was channeling the Force, in a state of deep meditation that he had only seen his former mentor engage in. He could feel the anger bubble up inside of him, anger that she had achieved something with so little training that even he could not do. He was compelled to stop all of it, to show her what true power looked like. But he also wanted to see how far she could go.

He watched as her chest moved up and down with each controlled breath. She was oblivious to his entrance in her meditative state, and her face was perfectly relaxed. Ren took this unguarded moment to study her face: she looked at peace, so unlike how she looked when they normally interacted. Every time he was in her presence, she was tense and guarded. But in her calm state, Ren was able to truly get a good look at her. Her soft skin seemed to glow in the low light of her quarters. Her face, absence of any creases from increased frowning at him, was genuinely pleasant. Ren almost would have considered her attractive, if the circumstances surrounding the two of them had been different.

He raised his gloved hand, hovering slightly over her flushed cheek. He was tempted stroke it, to gently caress it in a way in which he had before. His hand moved closer and closer to that cheek. But after a few long seconds, the realization of what he was doing dawned on him. He dropped his hand immediately, ashamed of his own weakness.

He pushed all thoughts of the young woman's beauty out of his mind, exerting the proper control that he had been taught. He bent down so that the two of them were at eye level as he watched her intensely. He noticed subtle shifts in her eyes behind her closed lids, a telling sign that she was having a Force vision.

He attempted to push in to her mind, to see what she was seeing. But he was unable to break through. Unintentionally or not, there was something blocking his access to her mind. Whatever the cause, he was unable to see what she was seeing.

It angered him.

But it also intrigued him. He wanted to know more than anything what she was seeing. What was the Force choosing to show her? Why was she worthy of the revelation when he was not?

Kylo Ren wanted to know what she was seeing, especially if it was anything like the connected vision that they had once before. He wanted answers to that confusing memory just as much as she did, wanted to know if his own childhood memory had been tampered with. This girl was the key to those answers. But he had so far been unsuccessful at reading her mind. His tried and true tricks would not work on her. The only way that he could get the information was to gain her trust.

Perhaps, you should go to her.

His master's words echoed in his head. He would have to be patient, kind, and friendly with the girl.

And so he waited patiently for her to come out of this vision.

After a few more minutes, she began to stir. It started off subtle at first, as if she were slowly waking. But then, as whatever she had seen behind her closed lids became more intense, her breathing began to pick up. Her chest rose and fell more rapidly. Whatever she had seen disturbed her greatly. Ren frowned at the disruption of her relaxed state, wishing that he could see her at peace once more.

Her eyes opened suddenly. He was still kneeling directly in front of her; their faces were mere inches apart. He could feel her ragged breathing on him. For the briefest of moments, she looked at him without the usual disdain that normally clouded their every interaction. Instead, there was a hint of recognition and she hazily looked at him before turning her lips up in a slight smile, "Ben?"

After everything that Kylo Ren had been through and seen over the course of his life, there was not much that shocked him anymore. But hearing his prisoner call him by his given name was something that he could never have expected. He blinked, unsure of how he was supposed to react to the words that had just come out of her mouth. But he repeated the mantra that he had told himself all of these years, and told his father at their final meeting, "Ben Solo is dead."

His words seemed to break her out of the post-vision trance that she was in. She blinked a few more times before the haze that surrounded her fully cleared. Immediately, she scrambled backward, pulling away from him. Any comfort that she had in those first few moments after her meditation disappeared, and was replaced by pure contempt and fear. Ren's brows furrowed even deeper with confusion. It was as if she had forgotten that she has used his given name only a few short moments before, or could not make the connection between the name she used and the man in front of her now. For the briefest of moments, Kylo Ren was disappointed that her smile was gone.

Kylo Ren stayed where he was, and did not move as she inched further and further away from him. She did not take her eyes off of him, as if the Knight was a snake about to strike at any given moment. But he remained still in his position in an attempt to bring her back to the ease she felt moments ago. He would not be able to use intimidation to get what he wanted out of his opponent. He brought his eyes up to her, holding eye contact. He intentionally kept his voice soft as he asked her, "What did you see?"

Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and she looked him with mounting confusion. He had no doubt that his behavior was confusing her; it was something he was not used to as well. But, in the same soft tone, he asked her again, "Did you have another vision?"

She looked up at him without any words but the surprise in her eyes was enough of an affirmative answer for him. He kept his voice level as she pleaded with her, "Tell me what you saw,"

"You," She breathed out after a few agonizingly long moments, "I saw you."

"Where did you see me?" He remained at her level but bridged the gap between them ever so slightly. He could see the color rising in her cheeks. She looked at him skeptically, biting her bottom lip. Ren wanted to look away, distract himself from the image of her lips, but he had to maintain the eye contact.

She was hesitant to tell him anything. Kylo Ren felt his patience growing thin; he had no time for her uncertainty. "If you want to make sense of what you saw, you must tell me. I am the only one who can help you. Search your heart, you know that is true,"

She looked at him for a few long moments; he did not have to get into her head to know that she was debating if she should trust him or not. But she finally spoke, "At a Jedi temple, but I had never been there before."

"What did it look like?" He pressed, moving towards her again. He did not break the eye contact, attempting to put her at ease.

"You and I were in a room at this temple. It was hardly furnished," Rey looked away from him, uncomfortable with the prolonged eye contact. Ren tried to act as if he did not notice, "You were angry with me, for being able to levitate objects and not telling you how to do it."

"And then what happened?"

"You left," She blinked a few times, "And I asked you to come back. I said that you were my only friend."

She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in, before looking up at him and asking, "Why would I say that?"

Kylo Ren looked at Rey square in the eye. She was pleading with him for answers: answers that he was not certain that he could give. He wanted to help her, but he had no recollection of this event in her mind. He sighed as he looked at the young woman mere inches from him. He was very selective in who he was honest with, but he knew he could not lie to her at the moment, "I do not know, Rey. I do not know."

Finn looked glumly at the food in front of him. It had been two weeks since Rey had gone missing. The rescue party that had been sent out to retrieve the captured Padawan was a failure, and a majority of the pilots who set out had never come back. The First Order had completely decimated their ships without so much as a second though; he could only imagine what horrors Rey was enduring in her captivity. He had witnessed interrogations before; he shuddered to think one of his best friends was being subject to the inhumane tactics used by the bastard Kylo Ren.

"She will be okay," Poe Dameron looked on at Finn as he sat down next to him in the mess hall, patting him on the shoulder, "She is a strong girl. She's fought him and escaped before, she will do it again."

"But what if she can't?" Finn questioned, putting his fork down. His appetite had decreased as of late, "What if she is being hurt and we are just sitting here doing nothing about it?"

"We are doing all that we can. We sent a rescue mission," Poe frowned. He had been the one to authorize the first rescue mission for Rey, and felt the weight of the failure the most of all. Some of his good friends had been lost on that mission, and he blamed himself for it every day, "It didn't work. But that doesn't mean we won't try again. We just have to wait a bit, make sure that the timing is right so that we don't lose any more people."

"Every second that we spend waiting," Finn sighed, "is a second that she spend with him. I can't let her spend any more time with him – who knows what he will do to her?"

"The Resistance is taking care of it, Finn." Poe said, his voice level. Finn could tell that his friend was getting exasperated; it was not a subject that Poe Dameron liked to discuss.

"The Resistance isn't doing enough!" His banged his fist on the table, drawing more attention to their conversation than he originally wanted to. People in the mess hall looked over, whispering at the former Stormtrooper's outburst. Finn could feel his cheeks grow hot at the unwanted attention. Without another word, he got up from the table.

He pretended not to notice all of the eyes that followed him as he left the mess hall.

Let them stare, he thought to himself. Let them think that I am crazy. But I'm going to be the one who brings Rey back.

Author's Note: Please let me know what you think!