11. Adjusting to a new life
His Defence Against the Dark Arts classes were actually not that bad for Severus this day, or maybe he had a different outlook on things, now that there was a glimmer of hope that some things in his life may go right for a change. He still took some points off for some things he usually would have taken points off, but this time he actually didn't enjoy it that much. After all, accidents happen. He had never seen it like that before. Unfortunately he couldn't suddenly lay off of some things. He was still supposed to be the acerbic professor that made students cry by just glaring at them. If the Dark Lord or his minions would find out that he suddenly had grown a heart, especially if he let something slide from a Muggle-born, it could cost him his life. Bellatrix was suspicious enough as it was and she never failed to let the Dark Lord know. No, he had to go on like usually. He also had another person's life, which was much more precious to him than his own, to worry about. If Bobbie would get hurt because of him he would never be able to forgive himself.
After classes were over he went to his quarters and took a shower and washed his hair extra well. Bobbie was coming down to the lab tonight. She had cornered him after lunch asking him for a contraceptive potion. She had stopped her Muggle contraceptives after her last divorce and had read that there was a potion for that. He thought about the way she had put it. She had said that she didn't want to get pregnant right now while the war was still going on. He wasn't sure but it sounded to him that she planned to one day have a child, maybe even his child, just not now. Most likely though he was deluding himself and read too much into it, and she meant it in general terms. He resolved that he would just have to wait and let things play themselves out. He couldn't rush things. He didn't want to scare her away. If it was up to him he would marry her right away, because he knew there would never be anybody else for him. But he had no experience in relationships and it confused and even scared him, if he was honest with himself. Bobbie said he was 'the One', or her soul mate. He had no idea how to interpret this.
Suddenly he heard a knock on the door. "Bobbie", he whispered. His heart started beating like mad when he went to open the door for her. She wore jeans and a sweater and a witches robe over that. She walked in and as soon as he had closed the door she turned around and 'attacked' him by throwing her arms around his neck kissing him passionately. "Oh Sev, I missed you as soon as you had left my rooms this morning," she said quietly.
Severus was a little taken aback. Not only had Lily called him Sev but also Bobbie's admission that she had missed him. He knew that he had missed her but he would have never expected that she would feel the same way. He thought about Lily for only a second. Knowing now how things could be with the right woman, Lily would never measure up. She only used to be a friend and he confused it with being in love with her. Maybe that soul mate thing Bobbie was talking about wasn't that far off.
Having his arms around her he picked Bobbie up so they were eye to eye and the next thing he knew was that she wrapped her legs around him. He couldn't help it but he was aroused by that right away and as soon as she felt him press against her she whispered with a smile, "I guess that potion has to wait." Severus groaned with need and Bobbie whispered, "Severus, can't you just magic our clothes off?" She didn't have to tell him twice. As soon as they were nude he entered her. Bobbie sucked in a breath of air and threw her head back in her desire. Severus slowly walked them to his desk, where he sat her down and started with slow strokes. He kissed her breasts and traced her nipples with is tongue until she couldn't take it anymore and cried out in ecstasy. That was all Severus needed to lose himself. Two more strokes and he was right there with her. They clung to each other trembling and trying to catch their breaths. Severus waved his hand and the blanket that lay over the back of his sofa flew into his hands. He unfolded it and wrapped it around Bobbie to keep her warm. Then he carried her to his bed where they lay in each other's arms enjoying the afterglow of their passionate lovemaking.
After a while Severus got their clothes with an Accio and said, "I think it would be wise to work on that contraceptive potion before you get pregnant."
Bobbie looked at him and brushed a strand of his hair out of his face and said, "If you would take it at face value it actually is too late for that. My body has already started since we made love this morning."
Severus was startled and finally asked, "How do you know?"
"We Nevari know one or two hours after conception."
Severus swallowed hard and whispered, "You are carrying my child?"
Bobbie leaned up onto her elbow so she could look into his face. She stroked his hair and answered, "Severus, you can't think like that. It isn't really a baby yet. It is just a few body cells that have divided so far. It is only 8 hours". She saw his sad eyes and knew that deep down he still didn't believe that anybody would want to be with him, let alone having a family with him. To reassure him she asked, "Would you want us to have a baby one day?"
Severus answered quietly, "Very much so. But yes, you are correct. It has only been 8 hours. I am sorry, I just wasn't thinking straight. It simply startled me. If you would be like other women you wouldn't even know yet." He still couldn't help feeling a little sad about it. He let out a long sigh and then got up and got dressed.
Bobbie watched him getting up. He seemed to take it harder than she thought he would have. She finally followed his lead and got up and dressed also. They went to the lab and got to work.
888
When Severus was done brewing he ladled some of the potion into a beaker and then bottled the rest up into vials. He stuffed the vials into his pocket to take half of them to his quarters and half of them he would give to Bobbie so she could take them to her rooms. He handed the beaker to her and when she was about to drink it he said, "Wait!" Then he kneeled down in front of her, grabbed her around the waist and laid his cheek against her stomach to say he was sorry to his 'child'.
It brought tears to Bobbie's eyes. She stroked his hair and when he stood up she said in a choked voice, "That was beautiful Severus. I love you and so will our future children."
He grabbed her on the back of her head and kissed her and said, "I didn't mean to make you sad, my Love. I just thought about all the lives that are lost because of me and now there goes another one..."
"Oh Sev, it wasn't a life yet, but I can understand it in your case." She stroked his cheek and then drank the potion.
Severus watched her and inevitably his thoughts went to Albus and the promise he had made. His eyes became unfocused and he stared at Bobbie without seeing her. Bobbie took his hand and asked, "Severus, what is it?"
He finally came back, like out of a trance and asked, "Pardon me?"
"You looked like you were a million miles away."
"It's nothing! I was just thinking about something I have to do for Albus."
She embraced him and said, "I know!"
He held her back from himself and looked into her eyes. "You do?" Then it dawned on him about her flashbacks and he mumbled, "Of course you do..." He let out a huge sigh and looked to the floor.
Bobbie, who was still holding his hand, pulled him out of the lab, all the way to the sitting room and to the sofa, where she pulled the pin out of her hair. Then she asked him to sit down. She sat down also but sideways with her knees on the sofa, so she could look at him. "Severus, do you know why I am really here at Hogwarts?"
"To work with traumatised children during the war. Albus got you when he thought the war was close."
"Yes, that is what he told you, and I am partly here for that. But that is not the whole truth. The main reason is so I can clear your name when the war is over and hopefully won. Albus can't just leave a letter somewhere to make sure everybody knows afterwards that it was his idea. It could fall into the wrong hands or it could be that it never is going to be found, or not to be found in time before they send you to prison... or worse.
"Albus actually wanted my grandfather," she continued. "Unfortunately he is too frail to travel anymore. That is why I showed up here. I want to let you know that I don't really approve of Albus's methods of trying to win the war, and that I think it is a horrible idea to ask anybody to do something like that. I know he is dying anyway but still, I can't even imagine the strain it puts on you. I only wish I could take some of that pain you are feeling away from you."
She sidled up next to him and hugged him. Suddenly she felt Severus wrap his arms around her tightly und bury his face in her hair. She felt him tremble and her shoulder getting wet. She held him as long as he needed.
After a long while he sat up straight and said sarcastically, "Some hero you got here. Crying on our shoulder..."
"Please don't be so hard on yourself. This is what it means to be human, Severus. I would have been much more concerned if you wouldn't have cracked eventually," she said. Then she buried her hand in his hair and whispered, "I would never hold this against you. This," and she put her hand to his chest, "this good heart you have is one of the reasons why I love you."
"You are the only one who sees good in me," he said quietly.
"Don't be so sure. I know for a fact that Poppy and also Albus told me that you are a good man. You do have people rooting for you." She smiled at him. And then she jumped up and said, "Anyway, it is pretty late..."
"I wish you could stay." He also got up and stroked her face with the back of his fingers.
"So do I. I thought this morning how much I enjoyed waking up with you in my bed. Unfortunately you are the head of Slytherin and it wouldn't go down well if one of your students would come by with some problem and finds something less than a pureblooded witch in your quarters at this hour." She chuckled.
"You could hide in my bed..." Severus smiled, then looked deep into her eyes and eventually kissed her fiercely.
"Oh God, Severus. Don't do this. It makes me want you so badly." She clung to him and he carried her to his bed where they made magic all over.
After they came up for air she said, "I can't believe we did it again. I just can't seem to keep my hands off you."
Severus said, "It goes both ways... Please stay. I have been lonely for so long. I just don't want to be alone anymore. Especially since I don't know what is happening with this war. I may not have very long."
Bobbie looked at him horrified and then eventually she said, "Okay, I will stay. But please don't say that you don't have long. I couldn't bear losing you, now that I found you at last." Then she asked, "By the way, how long is that potion working? Do I have to take it again? If we keep that up and I have to take it after each time, I don't need anything else to drink anymore," she said with a laugh.
Severus smiled. "Usually you do take it afterwards. But it also can be taken up to two weeks after... But since you know after just 1-2 hours you could just wait and take it when you feel that you... that... we started..."
Bobbie interrupted, "Yes let's do that."
"I wish you could be with me every night. I know I have to stay down here because of my students, but maybe there is a way your rooms could be connected to mine. After all, Hogwarts is a magical place. I will ask Albus about that tomorrow, since he already suspects us sleeping together. You should have seen that damn twinkle he had in his eyes this morning." He shook his head in mock annoyance.
Suddenly they heard some scraping and moving in the walls and when they both sat up startled, they noticed a door in the corner of the bedroom where there hadn't been one before.
Bobbie said astounded, "No. Flippin'. Way...! It can't be...!"
They got up and opened the door and ended up in Bobbie's bedroom. They looked at each other in surprise and Bobbie said, "Wow! I really do like that magic stuff. I could get used to that shit...! Pardon my language." She grinned and put her hand in front of her mouth. Then she said, "Look at this, even the castle likes you and tries making life easier for you."
"What makes you think she did it for me?" Severus asked.
"Easy! Because you were the one who suggested it, Baby."
Severus looked at Bobbie when he heard the term of endearment. Then he mused, "Perhaps she did it for the both of us. Perhaps she wants us being together. Perhaps she believes in soul mates," he whispered the last sentence more to himself than to Bobbie.
"Whatever the reason, I like this arrangement." Then she walked to the wall and laid her hand against it and said, "Thank you!"
After that they went back to bed. Bobbie cuddled up in Severus's arms and after a lingering kiss for 'good night' they both fell asleep.