Long awaited chapter, but definitely not as long as it has been. I'd like to thank you all for continuing to support this story. I have some plans for it and I hope you all stick around long enough to see what they are. Thank you all for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this. Fair warning there is mature content in the very beginning, so you have been warned.
P.S. Remember that Santana's feelings are far stronger than Quinn's are because she's pretty much been into Quinn from the moment she met her, so before you guys think they are going too fast realistically, they're not. Plus by the time jumps, it adds up to EIGHT MONTHS since Puck passed, so keep that all in mind as you continue with reading.
Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
Chapter XI.
Quinn would say she is addicted to Santana's lips, but that would be an understatement within itself—she is addicted to her everything as a whole. The way Santana took special care of every detail of her body as her soft touches ghost over her breasts. Her tongue would peak out of her supple lips gliding down her stomach towards her belly button, leaving a trail in its wake.
Her teeth bit down on her bottom lip as a moan escaped her throat. She didn't know sex could feel this gratifying. Sex was a beautiful thing when it was with her husband—they created Beth through it all; however, he was all she knew and to be honest at the location Santana was going it was a territory that was never explored with this particular muscle.
Santana left open mouth kisses in the interior of her thighs all the way up to the dips that meet with her hips. Quinn lifted her hips involuntarily and groaned, fisting the sheets beneath her till she felt the fell swipe of Santana's tongue against where she needed her most.
Her back arched as Santana dug her fingers into her thighs as she engulfed her mouth over her engorged clit, sucking it between her lips. She moved her head, almost milking her of all she's worth, watching the way Quinn's bare chest heaved up and down. With each lightning bolt shown through the closed blinds of the window, she could see the hint of sweat glistening off her body—she looked absolutely stunning withering underneath the pleasure she's giving her.
"San," she whispers as she fists a handful of her hair with a slight hint of force and with a few more flicks of her tongue, she came undone, shuddering uncontrollably, moaning loudly Santana's name and she was sure it was her new favorite sound.
As she let her come down from her high, she slipped herself up Quinn's body, leaving kisses in her wake as she met her lips again in a soft yet forceful kiss making Quinn flip them over, grinding her hips into Santana's enticing a little moan from the woman below her.
Quinn nipped at Santana's bottom lip as she trailed her hand between them, rubbing her fingers along her slit. Santana sighed deeply into her mouth as Quinn's finger made contact with her clit, circling it agonizingly slow before dipping it inside Santana who welcomed the feeling almost immediately.
Santana pulled away from Quinn's lips as she added another finger, pushing in slowly to get a rhythm then picked up the pace. Before either one of them knew it, Santana's hips were meeting each one of Quinn's thrusts which were harder and faster than before, both breathing heavily. Each thrust, Santana's belly burned till finally all she could see was those hazel eyes staring down at her with those pouty lips parted all for her as she came undone.
They laid like this for awhile as Santana ran her hands down Quinn's bare back. Did she think she'd ever be in bed with Puck's wife? Hell no and yes in the pit of her stomach, she felt guilty and wondered what he would think if he could see them now—probably be pissed at first, then say he demand a threesome. Santana smiled softly at the thought, but the truth was if he was still alive—this never would happen because as much as she liked Quinn and was attracted to her, she was able to accept that they were in love.
This was the truth and the reality was that she didn't have to feel guilty for something she knew wasn't an issue, especially when Quinn is laying with her ear to her chest listening to her heart beat as her chest rises and falls slowly with each breath.
"What are you thinking about?" Quinn's rasp came out through the darkness as the rain hit the window pane. She lifted her head resting her chin to look at the brunette and even in the darkness she could see her brown orbs sparkling through the bedroom.
"I'm just thinking about what Puck would say or if this is wrong—," she sighs deeply, running her free hand through her hair as she shifts slightly.
Quinn's finger ghosts over Santana's dog tags, fingering the engraving on the metal. "What have you decided?" She's aware of Santana's reservations—she always has them when it comes to doing what's right or what she believes to be right rather than just letting things go; to do what feels right. It places Quinn in a rough situation because all she wants to do is get her out of her head and to just shut her thoughts off, but Santana is her own person and unfortunately she dictates how she lives her life.
"I don't know," she turns them over to lay beside Quinn, propping her head up using the pillow as she trails her finger over her abdomen. "I sometimes tell myself he isn't here anymore, so we're entitled, but then his face comes into my brain like he is still around and imagining how devastated or betrayed he'd feel," she turns on her back, covering her eyes with her hands rubbing at them tiredly, growing frustrated at the constant piercing thoughts.
Quinn laid there, telling herself that she needed to ease her worries because the only way for them to get past this is to have her reassure the female solider that what they just did wasn't wrong—far from it and to just stop letting the thoughts of what if Puck was still walking amongst us still plague her brain and start thinking about the now.
She sat up and straddled Santana's waist, pulling her hands away from her eyes letting them stare at each other for a moment. Santana could see the curves of her breasts in the darkness and seeing her in this state alone forces her judgment to be clouded more so.
"Listen you can't keep relying on what if's and just stop thinking. He'd want you to live your life—to keep living it and move on," she states, holding her hands rubbing her thumb against her tan skin.
"I don't think he had you in mind for me," she grumbles, but Quinn heard it—she had her undivided attention, so needless to say, anything she says she will hear.
"And yet maybe he did. His mind could have wandered to the possibility—it doesn't matter now. What matters is he wanted me to move on and though we're not trying to date, if this whole sex with no attachment thing bothers you then we'll stop before we get ahead of ourselves—it can always be a onetime thing," Quinn explains though she is deeply dreading the idea of never experiencing an earth shattering orgasm like that ever again.
Santana is silent for a moment, debating if she even can forget the idea of having Puck's approval and honestly she had to start if she wanted to move on from her guilt. She was starting to get over the idea of being the reason Puck's dead, but now to sleep with his widow only makes a whole new set of guilty emotions to surface—she would have to get over those too if she wanted to keep Quinn in this light.
She sat up and wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist, before placing a simple kiss upon her lips. She was intoxicated by her scent, the way her lips worked over her own like they were already familiar with one another till finally she knew for sure she could get used to this.
x.
Santana woke up the next morning and slipped out of the bed, then dressed in some shorts and a sports bra that she found in Quinn's drawer, knowing she wouldn't be bothered with her borrowing it for the time being to finish up the swing set. She really wanted to get that done before Beth returned, so she stepped outside and got her wet shoes on, knowing she wouldn't be long anyway.
As she started on the roofing of the set, she gave herself time to reflect on what happened last night and how crazy it all is. She feels like in some way it was a spur of the moment kind of thing and she knows the reason it got to that point was she started it. She came up behind Quinn as she was placing her clothes in the dryer and she was the one that started kissing her neck. She knew exactly what she was doing, but if Quinn has no reservations about what they did, why does she?
As she twisted the screw into the wood with the screwdriver, she sees the sliding door open and Quinn lean against the doorframe. Santana knew this woman would be the death of her; to be honest, she didn't know if she could be just a friend with benefits with her—she was already in too deep, but she couldn't fuck this up either because that little girl she's making this play set for and that woman eyeing her like she is some sort of goddess is her family now. They've felt more like her family than the one she was born into.
"How long have you been up?" Quinn asks, shutting the door, before standing at the edge of the deck, leaning against the wooden railing.
"Uh—not much longer than you, but I wanted to get this done before she got home," she states, placing another screw down to secure the roof on its final place.
Quinn runs her hand through her hair, ruffling it slightly. "So since we didn't actually cook dinner last night, how about when Beth gets home later we make that food?" Quinn suggests as Santana hops off the side of the set and walks over to the deck, climbing up to meet Quinn where she stood on the other side of the railing. They faced each other as Quinn captured her bottom lip in between her teeth.
"You want me to stay?" Santana whispers to her, leaning forward to brush her nose against Quinn's forcing a smile out of the blonde as she dipped her head away from her stare.
"Only if you want to—though it should be no surprise, you're always here anyway," Quinn says, leaning forward to peck Santana's lips lightly, before turning around back to the sliding door. "You better hurry up and finish. I plan to shower before Beth gets home," she adds with a glint in her eye seductively beckoning for Santana, then walks back inside the house leaving Santana's mind to wander.
Santana looks down baffled, breathing a laugh and shakes her head just as she jumps down from the deck to finish up the swing set. She isn't sure she even needs to talk herself out of what she's doing—having Quinn like this is enough for her.
x.
A car comes up the driveway and as soon as it is in park, Beth hops out of the car making a run for the front door of the house. With her penguin in her arms, she knocks furiously waiting patiently for her mommy to come to the door. As she waits she hops from one foot to the other as Jordan and Sophia come up behind her.
"Do you wanna build a snowman," Beth lets out a giggle when she hears a voice on the other side. The other two hear it too, forcing a chuckle from them too as Beth leans forward through the keyhole.
"It doesn't have to be snowman," she says with a big smile as the door opens, revealing Santana on the other end flashing them all a big grin. She's fully showered after completing the set outside, though the shower would have taken a lot quicker had she not been so distracted.
"Hey Smarty how was your night?" She asks as she opens the door for all of them to come inside just as Quinn comes out of her bedroom, fixing her shirt and running a quick hand through her still wet hair. Jordan squints her eyes curiously at her actions, smirking inwardly like she knew a secret that no one else did.
"It was good till the rain got scary," she pouts then holds up her penguin. "But Mumbles made it better," she smiles widely. "He protected Sophia and me,"
"Sophia and I," Quinn corrects, knowing as a four year old she didn't need to know proper grammar, but living with her parents it was a force of habit they instilled in her.
Beth turns her head to Quinn in confusion. "But Mommy you weren't there," she says, making Santana cover her mouth with her hand to prevent herself from laughing as Jordan bit down on her lip to refrain herself as well.
"Anyway!" Santana finally says, turning their attention to her. "We have a surprise for you, if you will come with me my dear," she says formally in a joking matter, holding her hand out for Beth to take which she does so they start walking as she slowly begins to tell Beth the story.
"Now I know you know that your daddy is gone, but he loved you so much. He used to talk about you all the time and kept this picture in his uniform pocket," she pulls the picture out of Beth and Quinn at her birthday, showing it to her. It's gotten wrinkled and a little stained since Santana first saw it, but she's keeping it safe for him.
"With that, he wanted to do something for you, but he never got to put it together, so your mommy and I decided it'd be a good idea for me to, so I hope you like it as a way to show you that the three of us love you very much," Santana says as she opens the sliding door to the deck, exposing the swing set.
Beth's eyes widen at the large scale playground as did Sophia. Beth hands her penguin to Santana, grabbed Sophia's hand as they ran to the playground hopping on the fort as the adults watch from the deck. Santana never thought she did a single good thing in her life till she met this family and with each passing day she finds that Beth has been changing her mind.
"So now that the little ones are busy, how was the sex?" Quinn and Santana's eyes widen as they turn their attention to Jordan who has a accusing smirk on her face. They went to shake their heads to deny anything happened, but she holds her hand up. "Before you deny it, Quinn is glowing which means that you went down on her and Santana seems lighter which means that you fucked the uptightness out of her so in which case I say fucking finally," Jordan says forcing the other two to exchange looks.
"I'm not uptight," Santana denies as she crosses her arms over the other as Jordan rolls her eyes.
"I beg to differ, but if anyone could get you out of your head it's Quinn," as Jordan places her hands on both her shoulders, facing Santana to Quinn who smiles softly at her. It's Santana's turn to roll her eyes walking over to Quinn, wrapping her arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Aw you two are cute," she gushes jokingly and Santana leans forward punching her arm playfully.
"We're not dating, but who knows in the future," Quinn shrugs, looking over at Santana carefully since she hasn't exactly spoken to Santana about any of this. "Only if you want to I mean," she breaths out nervously.
Santana smiles softly. "We'll cross that bridge when we're ready, but right now we'll take it slow," she says simply because that's all they can do.
"Now on a serious note—who's going to tell Kitty?" Jordan points and Santana narrows her eyes, shaking her head.
"Way to kill my mood you asshole,"
x.
It's later in the afternoon and Quinn's friends have been begging her to spend the day with them, stating that it's been far too long since they've seen her, so she finally agreed even though Beth just returned home, knowing she could still spend dinner and tomorrow all day with her, so Santana decided to take her around the mall while Quinn was there with her friends.
Quinn walked around with her girls for a bit as they went through a few stores till Kitty decided to drag them into Fredrick's. "No Kitty please I didn't even shop here when I was married," Quinn whined, knowing the place is far more scandalous than Victoria's Secret.
"Quinn if you are going to get yourself laid then you need to get new bras and panties," Kitty demands as she begins to go through the racks.
"You're thinking about getting back out there?" Rachel asks curiously as Brittany, Marley, and Tina stand there waiting for her to respond. She turns her attention to Kitty glaring at her for opening her big mouth. She didn't want to have this conversation with anyone, especially because she's been sleeping with Santana—that wouldn't go over well because most of them seem to have some sort of crush on her even though half of them are in relationships.
"I'm not interested in a relationship. I was with Puck for so long that it's all I'm familiar with and to be with anyone else, I feel like I'd be comparing them all the time," she shrugs honestly as she made herself busy so she didn't need to show them any eye contact, but she knew they all wanted to know more.
"Well you could always be with Santana—they're practically the same person," Marley replied making Kitty and Quinn look up at her with wide eyes; the other three seemed to actually agree with her? Quinn didn't expect that at all, especially from Marley since she is dating Puck's brother.
"I don't think that she should date Santana," Kitty grumbles as she quickly makes her way through the rack of bras.
"You're only saying that because you want to fuck Santana. Don't be such a bitch when you have no chance with her," Tina states annoyed prompting everyone to look at her in disbelief. "I'm only saying what everyone else is thinking," she adds holding her hands up as she walks away to another rack.
"I don't think I would have said it in that many words, but honestly, Santana is perfect for Quinn aside from Puck obviously," Marley states as she pulls out a blue bra, shuffling around the other side.
"I'm standing right here guys and as much as I love you all, I can make my own decisions," Quinn states, turning to Kitty. "That includes if I ever do end up with Santana or not," she adds pointing at her, making Kitty roll her eyes looking at something else while Brittany stands next to her other blonde friend.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I support whether you get out there again or not," Brittany says patting Quinn's shoulder with an encouraging smile which Quinn returns, hugging her tight to show she appreciates her. "Oh and I wanted to show you something," she adds, pulling a box out of her pocket and opening it to reveal a diamond ring, making Quinn's mouth drop in awe.
"Oh my god, Britt!" she gushes. "You're planning to ask Rachel to marry you?" as she takes in the ring before her and Brittany finally nods.
"Yeah, I think it's time, you know? We've been together for far too long to just be dating and I know Rachel wants more; she deserves it after everything we've been through," she says closing the box and placing it in her pocket. "If she says yes can you be like my Best Man?" She asks and Quinn laughs softly, nodding instantly, hugging her again.
"Absolutely," she smiles widely as she hears a little giggle. She turns around instantly knowing who it belongs to, to the sight of Beth on Santana's shoulders, who keeps bouncing around making Beth laugh. They aren't in the store yet but as Santana is about to step in Quinn hurries over to them and turns Santana around, smiling widely up at her daughter.
"Hey baby," she breaths out looking up at her.
"Hello honey," Santana replies as Quinn looks at her, narrowing her eyes at her and shaking her head.
"She can't go in there," she points to the store, ignoring the brunette's previous comment as Santana finally looks up at the store. Her eyes widen slightly at the name, biting her bottom lip. She moves her vision around to glance inside at all the undergarments, nodding in approval.
"Well buy something nice for me then," she whispers suggestively into her ear. "God knows it'll look even better on your floor," she adds, moving her eyebrows up and down before turning around to another part of the mall leaving Beth to wave at her mommy making Quinn return it.
"Let's go Smarty, I'll take you to Spencer's," she says loud enough for Quinn to hear. She knew that the other woman was joking to see if she can get a rise out of her, but she couldn't help but roll her eyes at her attempts; sometimes it feels like she has a second child when the two of them are together.
As Quinn turns back to the store, Kitty appears behind her scaring her half to death. "Was that Santana?" She asks curiously and Quinn sighs deeply before nodding, trying to calm her racing heart.
"Yeah—she's watching Beth while we're hanging out. They'll probably meet us for lunch, if you don't mind," she says, hoping that Kitty wasn't standing there long enough to see nor hear Santana whispering to her about buying something for them.
"Yeah it's cool," she says nonchalantly as Quinn nods walking towards another rack, only to have Kitty stop her. "Look I know everyone thinks I'm like this crazy person in love with Santana, but trust me—I'm not. I think she's hot, much like I'm sure everyone else does, but I know she's a good person and ideally, I'd date her and fuck her all at the same time; however," she leans forward close enough to Quinn that only she can hear. "I know for a fact she's interested in another certain blonde and I'm not talking about Jordan," she looks Quinn up and down with a smirk.
Quinn narrows her eyes curiously. "So you're telling me that if Santana was interested in me and we somehow slept together, you'd be okay with it?" She asks hypothetically, even if it is too late for that sort of question, she wanted to at least get that out of the way. She loved Kitty and she was like the little sister she never had, so the last thing she needed was for her to be pissed at her even if she really had no reason to be.
"Of course I would be. I have no claim on the girl! She thinks I'm fucking insane," she says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I just don't think you guys should date because she and Puck are just too similar," she adds as she pulls out a red lacy bra and holds it out for Quinn to take.
"I know, but I kind of like that—it's like I'm around something familiar," Quinn voices her inner thoughts forcing Kitty to stop and turn to her best friend, who looks like she was like a deer in headlights.
"Oh my God! You're sleeping with Santana, aren't you?" She shrieks as Quinn winces at the tone, almost guilty of being caught. It's not like she was trying to hide it and honestly she didn't care who knew she was sleeping with her, but Santana was different. She wanted Santana to be different from any other possible people—to be honest, she couldn't imagine sleeping with anyone else at this point even if it has only been twice.
Suddenly her friends walk over to them and Quinn can't help but be embarrassed by the attention. "You jealous Kitty?" Tina asks her with a smug look and an arm wrapped around Quinn's shoulder.
Kitty rolls her eyes. "No I just got done telling Quinn that though I find Santana hot enough to date and fuck, she thinks I'm insane and I've accepted that," she replies and Tina looks at her in disbelief.
"Wow that's awfully mature of you," Rachel commends the younger blonde who smiles proudly, before turning attention back to Quinn. "Now an important detail, how is the sex?" all the girls turn their attention on the other woman, who sighs deeply, getting out of Tina's grasp.
"I don't kiss and tell," she smirks and they all shriek excitedly at her, as she walks away from them to find something to match the red bra Kitty picked out for her—she's sure Santana will go nuts over it.
x.
After making a few rounds around the mall, Santana took Beth to the mini indoor playground so she could play while she waits for the ladies to be done with their shopping. She felt one of those dads who had kid duty and had to watch them while their wives were out having all the fun. She was happy to do it because it meant that Quinn could be out and relax instead of being stuck with her or Beth for awhile. She forgets sometimes that Quinn is only twenty two and all her friends are still in school, partying, and living their lives—she was married, a widow, and a mother all by now and it's insane to believe that this is the life she has, but she never complains—Santana knows she wouldn't trade this life for anything.
Santana remembered though that Puck told her that Quinn was once in law school; whatever happened to that? She didn't know, but she wanted her to go back if it was something she loved doing. If it meant she had to watch Beth more so she could focus on her studies, then that's what it takes, but she wanted Quinn to ultimately not settle for this life, but be fulfilled—she'll have to talk to her about that later.
As she watches Beth crawl through the tunnels, she can't help but smile softly to herself at the little girl before her. She's not even her own, but she loves her as if she is. She always thought about having kids, but never had an ideal situation or love life to do so. If she ever did have any, she didn't want to be in the military anymore—she didn't want them to be without one of their moms.
"You have a very adorable child," Santana turns her head to see an elderly woman next to her, smiling at the scene before her.
Santana breaths out a sigh, smiling at the woman for her mistake. "No ma'am—uh—she's my best friend's daughter," she corrects her and the woman nods carefully.
"Still she's very cute," she smiles and all Santana can do is nod in agreement.
"Yes ma'am, she looks like her mother," she replies as the woman turns her attention completely to her, almost reading her.
"You're in the service aren't you?" Santana looks amazed at her observation, searching to see if her dog tags are exposed, but they aren't. "You're just very polite, plus I was in the service myself back in the day," she smiles.
"Your best friend—were they in the service with you?" She asks and Santana nod, looking down her lap trying with all her might to distract herself from making eye contact with the elderly woman.
"Yes he—he passed away eight months ago," the woman nods in understanding, sliding closer to Santana and even with that small gesture, Santana already felt semi safe. She didn't know this woman and she knew she probably would never see her again, but whoever she was, she enjoyed her company.
"I'll tell you—my best friend and I joined the force as a way to prove we can do anything a man can, plus she was married to a solider already. We were stationed in different areas, but I found out from her husband that she was in an explosion. I was devastated and I always went back to something I could have done, but I know now that I couldn't have done a thing—I wasn't even there. I went to her funeral to pay my respects, then overtime got closer to her husband," she begins to retell. "I married him and we were married for fifty three years till he passed away last year,"
Santana watches her carefully as she retold the events of her life from the time of her service onward. "Didn't you feel guilty about being with your best friend's husband?" She asks feeling like she was talking to herself in the future.
The woman smiled and nodded. "At first, but I fell in love with the man and I know ultimately she'd want me to be happy, even if it meant with her husband. If you love someone so deeply and so strongly that you'd die for them or die at the thought of them with anyone else, then you fight for them and you fight hard," she encourages and Santana nods furiously just as she sees Beth running out of the playground and a pair of arms wrap around her from behind.
"Hey you ready for lunch?" She looks up to the hazel eyes staring back at her with that beautiful smile and she knew then and there that she could admit that she fell in love with an angel and even if she can't admit it to her, she'll admit it to herself.
I'm in love with Quinn.