INTERESTING DEVELOPMENTS
Donovan had dropped off to sleep, completely unaware of the time, what day it was, or anything. The bed was alien as was the room and the feel of the body beside him. Everything was different, yet so wonderful. Of course, he had yet to deal with the reality of the situation. He moved and heard a soft murmur emitting from the woman lying against him. When she came awake little by little, she snuggled even closer to him. A moment after that, her lips traced a neat line along his throat and up his scruffy jaw line. Before long, her mouth found his and he kissed her deeply, his hands plunging into her hair. For a month or longer, he had denied her every step of the way. She was so much more in line with what he wanted than Paige. He broke the kiss and studied her beautiful face in the dark. Her eyes, which for all purposes were a cold, barren color, shimmered with a light he had never seen before. He wanted nothing more than to stay with her, make love to her again and again. What she had shared with him, what she had given him, was something no other woman before her had done. Why him? Why now?
"Are you okay," he asked.
"Mmm, I'm great," she said.
He ran his hand along her face, tracing a line made by her hair. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," she said, "well, maybe a little, but I lived through it," she said with a smile.
"Selena, how did you manage to…"
She laughed a little. "Think about it, Frank. I was fifteen when I started college, jailbait to most of the guys who were my classmates. When I graduated, there was little time for anything else. I've had men in my life, but I never felt the need to really make love with anyone."
It was a reasonable explanation, but he was still intrigued and curious. "So, why me?"
"I don't know how to answer that, but I can say I wanted you. I've wanted you a long time, but your private life is a bit complicated and I didn't want to intrude."
She had told him more about himself and his relationship with Paige than he had ever realized on his own. What, exactly, was she intruding in? He had a wedding scheduled to occur in a month, but he was no longer sure of anything. Could he break off the engagement and cancel the wedding at this juncture? Larkin hadn't intruded, she had saved him from himself, but there was something else creeping into his heart and mind. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced in months. Fear. If he released his hold on Paige and let himself go with Larkin, what would happen? He thought he loved Paige, but he didn't. Despite the number of times he told her, he hadn't ever loved Paige, hadn't ever felt it truly in his heart. She was a comfortable substitute for Taryn. He had never tried to date anyone else, had never looked at anyone else. Larkin had entered the picture and touched him in some way that he didn't quite understand. Could he let go? Could he? Did he want to take a chance? She was waiting to hear him tell her that his private life was no longer complicated. She wanted to hear that he didn't just take her to bed due to lusty need. The words she wanted to hear, he could not say, and he knew she wouldn't pressure him to say it. He wanted to think that tonight was a mistake, that he shouldn't have come here at all, but he knew it wasn't true. None of it was, not one single bit. Selena Larkin wouldn't throw a fit, have a temper tantrum, or whine, or cuss, or fight. She would offer absolutely no ultimatums. All she wanted to do was give him her heart. She had asked so very little of him and what would he give her in return? There was little he could do or say at that moment, but he had never felt so low or so disgusted with himself. He knew what he should do, knew it as well as he knew his name [F. Chase Martel], but had no idea if he could follow through. Fearless in his work, he was, but in his heart, never.
* * *
The moment Donovan entered the apartment, he expected to see Paige waiting up for him, but she wasn't. When he noticed the time, he sighed heavily. The alarm clock would begin screaming before he made it fully into the bedroom. He couldn't avoid her all morning. Instead of running away like some pussy jerk, he entered the bedroom and began the task of undressing. He could literally smell Larkin's perfume all over him. It wouldn't be difficult for Paige to discern it. Tell her, goddamn it. Tell her where you were. Tell her the truth. You don't love her, you don't want to marry her, you want to end this while both of you are still sane. The proof of your relationship status is in what you did tonight. Think about it. He stripped out of the jogging suit and tossed it into the hamper. Today, he had no energy to run. Sure, you bastard, you got all the exercise you needed with Selena, didn't you? He started the shower and climbed in before the water had gotten even slightly warm. He hardly noticed the shock when the cold water hit him. He had spent a good portion of the night in bed with another woman and he came back to one he didn't love anymore. He thought he'd made his decision about what to do as soon as he walked through the door. Frank Donovan had been a risk taker his entire life, but it never extended into his heart, it never did. What would he say to Larkin when he saw her later?
He came out of the shower, absently wrapping a towel around his waist. He wasn't ready to face Paige just yet. She would have questions for him and he didn't think he could lie to her. In fact, he wanted her to ask, ached for her to do it. When he opened the bathroom door, Paige had just risen from bed. Last night before he left, she had donned one of his shirts and had slept in it. This morning, she still had it on. She yawned and stretched dramatically. She didn't immediately turn toward him. He stepped out into the bedroom and opened the closet door. Please ask me. Ask me where I was. Open your mouth and say something, Paige. The question never came. She moved toward the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Shit. She wouldn't ask because she knew. Some how, some way, she knew. Silently, he dug out his clothing and took his time getting dressed. He wanted her to come out and he was giving her more than her fair share of chances. She wasn't taking any of them. When he finished dressing, Paige was still in the bathroom. She would not come out until he walked out the door. Growling stubbornly, he left and made his way toward the nest. There was one confused woman likely awaiting him.
He felt like a coward as he entered the building […you are a coward, a fucking coward] and hit the lights. His foot connected with an envelope that had been dropped carelessly on the floor. He immediately recognized it as being from the vicious Grant bitch. Well, hello there, Martel. Did you miss me? I certainly missed you. I wrote this note a few moments ago and dropped it off after I saw a very curious thing. You slipped into a hotel around midnight or so, but didn't come back out until four or five this morning. Could you be cheating on your little fiancée? Incredible. I didn't take you for a philanderer. Or are you even one of those yet? So, there are two secrets that you're holding from Paige, your true identity and the fact that you're fucking someone else behind her back. Shame on you, Martel. I never thought you'd cheat like that. You're turning out to be a man after my own heart. He was tempted to shred it, but had to hold onto it for Larkin. Regardless of what happened, he wanted the bitch to suffer and for that, they needed evidence.
The walls were caving in on him slowly, suffocating him achingly slow. Two women had him trapped, both blackmailing him for different reasons. This needed to end before he marched over to the DOJ and blew Grant away. Life in prison had to be better than this hell. He went straight to his office and put the note away for later. They were the only items not shown to the rest of the team. This would never see the light of day, not after Larkin saw it. Larkin. What would he do with her? How would he talk to her? How would he tell her that nothing in his life had changed? Too many complications, too much going on. He dug around in his desk until he found a bottle of aspirin. He shook four into his hand and popped them into his mouth. Instead of swallowing them, he crunched them up, grimacing at the bitter taste. He had to face her. He had to face everyone. After a few moments, he heard someone else entering. He knew it would be Larkin; there was no use in trying to believe it would be anyone else. When he heard the steady clopping noise, he didn't have to wonder further. He wasn't ready to face her just yet, but he couldn't be a coward his entire life.
The moment she settled her eyes on him, he immediately reminded her of the Donovan she had known before last night. He was tense and out of sorts. If she touched him, he might strike out. She stood near the exit with her arms behind her back. She knew he was aware of her presence. Larkin immediately sensed that she was heading toward an outrageous let down, but she couldn't help it. She had to know the deal, especially after what he had said and shown her. She noticed another envelope and a sheet of notepaper before him. Expecting the worse, she approached the front of his desk and reached over for the note. He didn't make one move. He held his head in his hands and kept his eyes covered. If she didn't see his chest rising and falling, she would have sworn he was dead. Before she dragged the note toward her, he moved suddenly, covering her hand with his. Startled, she looked up at him and gasped.
"She knows," he said in a flat, emotionless voice.
At first, she thought he was talking about Paige, but by the look on his face, that wasn't exactly the case. "Who knows what?"
"Grant. She knows what happened last night and she intends to use it."
What's so damn bad about that? "And," she began as if waiting for some awesome punch line.
"And? All you can say is and?"
The asshole had reemerged and she didn't understand why. What had she done? "What? I don't get it."
Donovan bit his lip, ready to spin an incredible lie, one so brutal and vicious that he would never forgive himself. "Last night was a mistake. It never should have happened. I was swept away and it got too far too fast."
"Who the hell are you," she cried. "Just who the hell are you? You're not the same person you were less than twenty-four hours ago. Which one of you is the asshole? Chase or Frank? Which one of you was in bed with me? A mistake? You consider what happened a mistake? It didn't feel like it. Why did you bother? Why?" When he had nothing to say, she leaned over his desk and got right in his face. "If you think for one minute I'm going to scream, cry, or beg you to give me one last mercy fuck, you're sadly mistaken."
He watched as she turned away and clopped toward the short staircase. Hit bit hard into his lip to prevent calling out for her to come back. I made the only mistake last night, and that was leaving you. Fuck it. He came out and scanned the room for Larkin, but couldn't see her. She had left, probably for good, and he didn't blame her. Who's the asshole? Chase or Frank? All of the above, Selena, I'm sorry. Little did he know, but Larkin hadn't gone anywhere. She stood outside taking deep breaths, trying to calm down, trying to get a handle on her emotions. Regardless of anything, she was a professional and couldn't let her mind drift away from her duty. As soon as Grant was safely and completely out of the picture, she would never have to see this place again. Jesus. Her stomach ached so badly that she thought she might die right then and there. She thought she could control it, but as soon as the bile began to rise, she gave up. In one hot spurt, everything she had eaten for the past two days came up in a rush.
A little green around the gills, Larkin came back inside as soon as other people began to drift in. She couldn't be alone with Donovan right away. If so, she would fix him where he would never father a child. She stood back and away from the asshole, ensuring that she didn't meet his gaze once. She wanted to move on Grant today, she was tired of waiting, tired of taking the route Donovan wanted to go. Larkin waited until Donovan was out of ear and eyeshot before she leaned over Cody's shoulder. Grant knew everyone in this room except her. She hadn't ever seen her up close and personal outside that brief run-in at the DOJ. Donovan hadn't wanted her to go in, but he wasn't making the rules anymore. She followed her own lead and didn't give a shit.
"Wire me, Cody," she said, ensuring that her voice drifted just enough to fall in his ear. "Wire me and let me go."
"Selena, are you sure that's a good idea? The boss…"
"Fuck him," she said bitterly. "He's not my boss. Hook me up so I can go in. If he asks where I am, lie. I'm tired of waiting and I want to go home."
Larkin dashed out of the room before Donovan reappeared. He immediately missed Larkin's presence. "Where is Agent Larkin?"
Cody turned. God. He hated lying to the boss. All it took for a swift confession was one harsh look. "She…ah…stepped out."
"Stepped out where," he demanded. Neither Cody nor Monica said a word. "Goddamn it," he growled. "Did she go to the DOJ? Did she?" He didn't wait for Cody to stammer another answer. Instead, he took off after Larkin.
Larkin made her way to the tall building, determined to go up to the third floor to confront Grant. This had to end while she had a scrap of sanity. Just as she stepped onto the elevator, Donovan whipped through the revolving door and missed her by a mere few minutes. He didn't bother waiting for the elevator. He took the stairs two at a time and made it before the elevator. The instant it opened, he slipped inside and hit the button to close the door.
"Are you insane, Selena," he asked.
"No, I'm not, but I have a few suspicions regarding your sanity, Agent Donovan. I want this over. I want Grant gone so I can get out of here and never lay eyes on your face again. Before you start yelling at your agents, this was my idea."
"What the hell are you trying to prove? You said it yourself; you didn't want her to know about you so she wouldn't run away. Don't fuck up this case because of what happened last night."
At the nest, Cody and Monica exchanged a look, both asking the same question: what did happen last night?
"As if you could distract me. I'm not a stupid bimbo, Donovan. I don't get swept away in emotion and sex."
Cody and Monica mouthed together: emotion and sex?
"Jesus," Larkin cried. "I'm fucking wired."
Donovan growled and rolled his eyes. Wired. So much for a private conversation. "Terrific."
The moment the elevator car stopped, Donovan took Larkin by the arm and led her toward the exit. On one end of the hall, Grant observed them. On the other, Paige had caught sight of them. Both women noted that they were arguing intensely. Grant smiled while Paige frowned. Both women had the same thought rushing through their minds: this must be his distraction.
When the two of them entered the nest, Donovan fixed his eyes on Monica and Cody. "I think the two of you should leave. Agent Larkin and I have a few issues to discuss." He was actually daring them to mention the conversation they had overheard. How many other people would know by day's end? After they left, Donovan led Larkin up to his office and sat her down. He noticed the recording device clipped to the inside of her top. Without asking her permission, he reached over and tore it off. "Don't do that again. That was the worse mistake you've made since coming here."
"Wrong. The worse mistake I made was letting you come into my room. You don't have charge of this case anymore. I'm taking it out of your hands. I didn't need you then and I don't need you now. As soon as I get a call through to my superiors, I'll have your duties stripped away faster than you can blink. I'm not staying here any longer than the end of this month. I can't be here in…" She stopped. Oh no no no, don't even go there.
"December," he finished for her. "Believe me, I don't want you here in December," he said, the tone of his voice immediately changing.
"And Dr. Jeckyll emerges again," she said softly.
He looked down at her so very vulnerable, so hurt and cheated. "Selena…"
She stood to remove her body from such close proximity to his. "Oh hell no. Don't start that shit. It helped you get into my pants once, but I don't think it'll help again." She moved closer to the exit, actually backing away so she could watch every step he took. One false move and she would he his for the taking.
Of course, his legs were much longer and he closed the distance in a few steps. He took hold of her arm; it was exactly what he had done last night. Break away, break away and get the fuck out of here. She couldn't. She couldn't go anywhere without his leading her. He captured her lips and kissed her hard and brutally, needing her, needing the taste of her again. Once again, her legs went around him. Once again, he took her away from the safety of an exit. Her buttocks landed on the hard edge of his desk and she felt him lowering her to it, his body moving over hers. Oh God oh God oh God, she kept telling herself she didn't want this, but she couldn't drive him away. Realizing where he was, he drew away from her for the briefest of moments.
"We can't do this," he whispered harshly. She prepared herself for the rejection to follow, but he repeated it again and added two other words, "We can't do this…not here."
Back in her hotel room, back where they had made love the first time, he took her down to the bed. No time for touching. No time to think. Guiding her astride him, he entered her deeply. The first time had introduced her to intense physical pleasure, the second to complete and total selfishness. She thought of nothing, no one, only herself and the man underneath her.
Later, Larkin looked up at Donovan as he dressed without saying a word. She had yet to move off the bed. Mr. Hyde had reappeared the instant he realized what he had done. "What am I to you?"
He heard the question plainly, understood every single word, but he couldn't answer her. She was a lot to him, but could he tell her? What greater purpose would it serve? Damn it. He was treating her like shit, as if she were a piece on the side. She wasn't. "Selena, you're…" He stopped. God. How could he explain it?
"Okay, here we go again," she said impatiently. "Go."
He turned toward her. "Selena let me…I'm trying to tell you."
"No you're not," she said, hurt dripping from every word. "I refuse to be some girl on the side. Go. I can't look at you."
"I won't go until you listen," he insisted. "Please…"
"Go, just get out. I don't want to hear it and I don't want you here."
He wanted to stay, had even reached out for her, but she kicked out with her leg, her foot connecting with his side. What he needed to say should have been said the night before. It was too late. She'd never listen to him now.
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To be continued…