Less Dirt, More Blushes.
Chapter Ten.
Two days later.
"You want to explore caves?" Starscream said with a visible shudder that made Miles back off in caution.
The human had been champing at the bit to get back to Starscream and the others when he'd started feeling better, because the medic was all right and all that, but being stuck in bed anywhere was boring. He'd finally been released, and once he'd begun polishing Starscream, the Seeker wanted to talk about Miles' objections to going into a Seeker form until he was older.
"Well, yeah, there are some beautiful formations I'd like to see, and some of them have paintings in," Miles explained.
"But aren't they documented on your Internet?" Starscream said, projecting holograms of the cave art of Chauvet and Lascaux caves he'd found online.
"Yeah they are, but that's not the same as going there and seeing things yourself," Miles said. "Would you have stayed at home if you could see the sights of another galaxy just by going online or looking in a book?"
"Well, no, I see your point there. It's the subject matter that I find odd. Stars, I can see why anybody would want to go and see them, but I ask you, caves?" He swept his hand out to include his wing brothers, who joined him in a synchronised shudder of disgust.
"Well, I'll be too big, and presumably claustrophobic, when I'm a Seeker, so I kind of thought to take the opportunity while I can," Miles said.
"If that's your thing, go for it," Starscream said, while over com acknowledging his wing brother's comments of 'He said when, not if! He might be agreeable!' with an affirmative sound.
"I mean, I'm sure I'll love it, I've always wanted to fly!" Miles said. "But you say the medic says it'll probably take time, so I thought that while waiting, why not draw up a to-do list and do it?"
"Yes I understand that, but caves!" Starscream said with another exaggerated shudder.
"Well let's just agree that we have different opinions on that and let it be," Miles said. "I'm not asking you to come with me."
"I should hope not!" squealed Thundercracker, "If you did, the answer would be no, no, absolutely not!"
"So, as it'll take time, and we can wait, I don't see why Miles shouldn't do what he wants," Skywarp said.
"But we lose our best polisher and an interface partner if we do," Thundercracker said despondently.
"Hey, I promise to come back between excursions, and I'll bring pictures," Miles said.
"Of the caves I think we'll pass, thanks but no thanks!" Starscream said. "Maybe the other things you do might interest us, pictures from the tops of the mountains you climb, or pictures of the rainforest and its denizens. That I think we'd like to see."
"Will you be allowed to come back?" Thundercracker asked. "After all, Starscream kind of kidnapped you, wouldn't it be odd for you to come back to those who took you? Won't your parents or the state or something want revenge?"
"I wasn't exactly unwilling," Miles said, "so I can tell them I went with you of my own accord. I may not be a full adult yet, but I'm considered old enough to know my own mind. Anyway, what about if you came back with me and offered, say, a ceasefire and asked for talks? I could put in a word for you, and if you and humans could reach agreement, I bet you'd have hundreds of people wanting to polish you!"
"What about the Autobots? Would they allow it?"
"Personally I don't think it's their business if you want a ceasefire with the humans, Starscream, but why not ask them for a ceasefire too? If they refuse, they'll be seen as the aggressors, yet you tell me they profess to want peace. If that's true, won't they even welcome talks about peace talks?" Miles asked.
"I guess so, yes, and I must admit, it would be a fantastic prank, for us to ask for peace from both sides instead of them asking it of us," Skywarp said.
"Pre-empt them, yes!" Miles said. "I bet the humans would be surprised too if you offered without them having to tempt you with something, and it'll put you in a better position to bargain, if you're the instigator."
"Yes, I see, because we are offering, not begging or asking, but offering, like a concession, peace, it's down to them to offer us terms, which we can accept, reject, or bargain for a better deal for us," Starscream said.
"Don't push too hard or you won't get anywhere," Miles said. "Why not ask for the same concessions they give to the Autobots in return for a lasting treaty, reviewable every few years or so?" Miles asked.
"Yes, we always said the Decepticon cause was equality with the Autobots, and it is. We can ask the humans to accept us as they do the Autobots, and the Autobots to acknowledge our right to live on the same world and under the same constraints and benefits," Starscream said. He scooped Miles up in a hand and gently held him to a cheek. "Clever Miles! Well done, I'm glad I brought you here, more so than I was at first."
Miles took the opportunity to stroke the Seeker's sensitive faceplates, which Starscream responded to with sighs and mewls of pleasure.
"But we have military alts, what would we do?" Thundercracker asked.
"The USAF might wish to employ you, and if you are loath to be used in human combat, say so, "Miles said. They might want to use you to help train their pilots, hone their reflexes. You'll react faster than any human pilot, and if they train opposite you, when they end up in a situation where swift reflexes are an advantage, they'll have an edge. Or you could do flights for air shows, or for a fly-past for Fourth of July celebrations or something. Or maybe they'll give you some ideas once the treaty's sorted," Miles said. "I'm sure your military alts will be an advantage."
"That's a relief," Thundercracker said. "I didn't want to have to consider a plane from another country in order to retain my weapons, or, worse, pose as a small civilian plane with no weapons. Anyway, this alt is my preferred one, changing it even to an equal plane elsewhere would have been a disappointment."
"Yes, it has pleasing lines in alt and gives us nice lines in robot form," Skywarp acknowledged.
Starscream had let himself down to lie on the floor, and let out another blissful sigh as Miles continued stroking the faceplates. Thundercracker glanced over, jealous, and then pleaded "Can I have some of that, Miles?"
"Yeah, sure," Miles said, giving Starscream a few more strokes before rushing over to bestow his touches on Thundercracker. Starscream looked back over at the blue Seeker resentfully, who stuck his glossa out in response before shuttering his optics in bliss as Miles began touching his faceplates.
"We should ask Dr Syn to clone you, so we can all be stroked at the same time," Skywarp, who had seen the whole exchange chuckled, only half-joking.
"Uh-huh, I'd rather you didn't, it'd cause all sorts of problems for me, and I mean however many of me we'd end up with. Not to say you couldn't have more humans to stroke you, if there was peace between us and you, that is, and you could even make money from it, sounds like a dream job to me!"
"Tell me more, I'm interested," Starscream said, sitting back up.
"Well, you like being stroked, right, and you know I like stroking you. I doubt I'd be the only human who'd like to help polish either an F-22, or an alien robot. So, once you and our Government make peace, and you're considered non-hostile, or even friendly, you could set up a small business to "allow" people to touch you and stroke you," Miles said, using his fingers to indicate speech marks in the air as he said 'allow'. "Then you explain that you'll need to levy a small charge, say a couple of dollars, make it easily affordable, to cover polish, cloths and the cost of your fuel. Keep the charge low, and move around to a different area every week or so, and I know people will pay!" Miles said.
"Will your Military mind?" Thundercracker asked before letting loose a shuddering sigh. "After all, I do believe the form we take is classified."
"I doubt you'll be allowing some unknown stranger prowling about your thrusters, and I know you won't tolerate anyone trying to dismantle your computer guidance or control," Miles said.
"Certainly not!" Thundercracker said, sitting up so suddenly Miles had to grab hold suddenly or fall off. The Seeker immediately held a hand out for him to stand on. "Sorry," he said as Miles steadied himself.
"Proves my point," Miles said. "Anyway, how would any spy be able to work out which components are faux-human and which Cybertronian? Maybe each person could be checked, and anyone suspected of being a security risk turned away. Anyway, people will be curious, they'll want to gawp, so put them in a situation where they can gawp, or touch, maybe ask questions, not that you have to answer them if you don't want to, but that they pay you for the privilege. Charge a small enough fee, and you'll get plenty of takers."
"I guess so," Skywarp said "Though I don't really like the idea of being exhibited like that,"
"Not a whole lot different than being stared at for free as you wait to go up – or have finished and are waiting to move – at an air show," Miles said. "You could combine it with that, insist on an enclosure to go to after flying, title it "Meet the pilot" or something, maybe talk for free, charge for autographs if you could write small enough, maybe even allow some people, if they paid enough and were not a risk, to come up in your cockpits for a short flight. Hire a photographer to take pictures, have a counter where people can buy their pictures, buy key rings, mugs and T-shirts and tons of other stuff. Look up some of our tourist attractions, like the Golden Gate Bridge and the Grand Canyon to see what I mean.
He saw Thundercracker's and Starscream's optics dim and flare again as they accessed the Internet, and then Starscream said "Your idea is not without some merit, perhaps we can think about it and speak to your Government and Military about this. However, this is a future concern, because first we must make peace with your kind. Tell me, human, are you in a position to contact your countries' leaders and ask if they would consider a ceasefire, preliminary to discussions concerning possible peace talks?"
Miles said "Unfortunately, no, I'm just a skinny American teenager. I get the idea I'm not meant to actually know about you guys, Sam never breathed a word to me about you, and he tells me everything, and I mean everything, we're best buds, bros. Stands to reason he didn't tell me because he's under a gag order. I guess I could try and write to the President, but his mail is opened and screened, so I don't think it would get to him. It might be taken either as a potential threat on your part, or a joke on my part."
"A threat? How?" Starscream asked. "How can an offer of peace talks be considered a threat?"
"Because they might think you'll want unreasonable terms, or are threatening to attack them more if they don't agree. You told me about the attacks you launched on them in Qatar and Mission City, they only know you as an aggressor. As far as they are concerned, you're a potential threat to this country, to be neutralised if encountered. If they found I had links with you, they'd probably brand me a traitor, and scare, force, or guilt-trip me to tell where you are. Sorry guys, I don't think I can help you."
As Miles watched the Seeker's faces reflect disappointment, an idea struck him, and it was so obvious, he almost laughed. Instead he said "Actually, maybe I can't help, but I think I know someone who knows somebody, and you might know the same somebody, who might be able to help."