Disclaimer: ER/ characters are property of nbc, warner bros, constant c, amblin, etc. Stargate SG1/ characters are property of showtime/ viacom, mgm/ua, double secret productions, gekko productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only-no profit involved.
*Author's note: Okay, kind of cheesy and a bit early for the season, but. . . Happy Thanksgiving!
Something Old, Something New
Part Eleven
By: Victoria F.
V-fib. Cyanotic. Pulse ox. Sinus rhythm. Anaphylactic shock. What the hell have I done? You sent that boy where he had no business being. He wasn't ready. You knew he wasn't ready. Why? Why did you do it? Because it was convenient? Because he was here? What if he wasn't here? You would have found somebody else to go out there. You didn't have to send him. Damnit! He's only been on base for a month. Barely has the basics down. You should have known something was wrong with that planet. MALPs don't just drive over cliffs. It just doesn't happen. I don't care how peaceful that planet appeared. Too peaceful. Why didn't I catch that?
Colonel O'Neill blames himself. I could see it on his face the minute he stumbled through the gate. Not just one, but two down on his watch. Going to give himself some major bruises over that. Never mind the fact that he not only took a pretty major jolt of electricity out there, but almost ended up in the same position as the doctor. Hell, that won't register with his guiltometer. The fact that he's lying in the infirmary with the rest of SG1 being pumped full drugs and hooked up to machines won't be doing him any good either. Can't check on his people when he's flat on his back.
I don't know how they do it. He's one of them. One mission. One. That's all it took. There's no going back now. Couldn't pull him out if I wanted to. SG1 through and through. With all its merits. I almost thought Teal'c wasn't going to put him down until Doctor Frasier showed up. Delivered straight into her capable hands. And was Major Carter worried about herself? No. That much was obvious. More concerned with how Doctor Carter was. O'Neill looked like he was on the verge of collapse, but stayed in the gate room until he knew that Doctor Carter was alive. Wouldn't budge. Doctor Jackson either for that matter. Although, out of the lot of them, Jackson looked surprisingly well.
"General Hammond."
The General looked up, startled to see Janet standing in front of him. Standing quickly, he returned her salute.
"I'm sorry for intruding General, but I knocked. When you didn't answer I was concerned and came in."
"It's quite all right Doctor. Do you have news on SG1? How are they? Doctor Carter? Major Carter?"
"Yes Sir. First, I want to assure you that they are all stable. They are all going to make full recoveries."
"Thank God. What are their conditions?"
"Well Sir, Daniel is doing quite well. His antihistamines for his allergies protected him from the effects of the chemical they all inhaled. For once his allergies were a blessing. If he hadn't taken an antihistamine, given his vulnerability to allergens, he probably would have been much worse off than any of them. His heart rate is stable, which is what I was concerned about after the electrical charge they were subjected to. I'm keeping him in the infirmary overnight with the others for observation."
General Hammond looked relieved at the news, and ran a hand over the top of his smooth head. "Go on Doctor."
"Yes Sir. Teal'c is recovering quickly with the help of his symbiote. He was affected by the chemical on the planet, but received an injection of epinephrine almost immediately, forestalling any damage. His symbiote went to work quite quickly, and I am treating him simply with intravenous fluids and oxygen.
"I'm treating both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter for anaphylactic shock and the electrical jolt they took on the planet. As both received epinephrine injections right away, I'm not overly concerned about lingering effects. I'm treating them both with corticosteroids, fluids, oxygen and I'm also monitoring their heart functions. Here's the good news General. I've taken Major Carter for an MRI and she is only suffering from a herniated disk. A condition Doctor Carter apparently diagnosed off world. The fact that she did have brief loss of functioning in her left side does concern me, however she seems to be able to move her limbs with no problems now. Rather than put her in traction, I'm ordering a short leave of absence. As bed rest is not beneficial to her condition, I will not be keeping her in the infirmary. I'll be releasing her with the others."
Janet paused and looked at the General, who's face relaxed with each bit of news.
"And Doctor Carter? How is he?"
"Doctor Carter is still unconscious General. His body took more of a punch than the others when he didn't receive the epinephrine injection. By the time Teal'c brought him through the gate, he was cyanotic and in V-fib. We were able to shock his heart back into a normal sinus rhythm. I was able to administer epinephrine in the gate room, however, his body was deprived of oxygen for quite some time. He's intubated at the moment and he's being treated the same as the Colonel and Major Carter. Corticosteroids and intravenous fluids. We have him on a heart monitor, but his pulse ox is steady. He's stable Sir. We won't know about permanent damage from the lack of oxygen until he's conscious though."
"Just why in the hell didn't he give himself the epinephrine injection Doctor?"
Janet looked at the General and the realization dawned on her. He didn't know. He assumed that there was enough for all of them.
"I'm sorry General. I thought you knew. There were only three syringes of epinephrine in the med kit. He deliberately did not give himself the shot."
The General sank back in his chair. This was getting worse and worse. Had he somehow gotten the impression that he had to withhold treatment from himself in order to treat the others? That was not what he was assigned to the team for. His life was as valuable as any other. Hammond sighed and looked at Janet.
"Why Doctor? Was he ordered to treat the others and withhold treatment from himself? Did he think there was enough? Did he miscount? What was it?"
"He knew he was the weakest Sir. From what I understand from talking to the others, he was in no condition to either help carry Major Carter or whoever else may have been denied the injection. He weighed the risks and made a decision."
"I see Doctor. Thank you. Please inform SG1 that I will be debrief with them tomorrow at 0100 hours."
"Yes Sir." Janet paused, "And General? He made the right decision. In case you were doubting that. There was no alternative." Silently, Janet turned and left the General alone with his thoughts.
*****
Pain! Ohhh, my Gaaawwd. What happened? My lungs-burning! Caaann't thiinnk. My head. Pounding. Not again. It hurts!
'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.'
What is that?
'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.'
No. No! Not again. Not. . . again.
'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.'
"John! Wake up! Time to wake up now!"
No. It happened again. Lucy? Is Lucy okay? Doctor Benton? What's happening?
"Doctor Carter! Wake up!"
John's eyes snapped open and he found himself staring into a pair of large, brown, eyes which were fastened to him, as if afraid to stray from his face. Lucy? No, Lucy's dead. Kerry? Hmm, Kerry's eyes are more Hazel. Janet!
"Janet?" John mumbled, his hazy mind clearing a bit. Oh, talking was not a good idea. John grimaced as the small effort sent shivers of pain down his sore throat and into his weakened lungs.
"Yes, it's Janet. John? Do you remember what happened? Do you know where you are?"
Hospital. No, infirmary? On base. SGC. Planet? Grass, flowers. Electricity. Planes, no-something flying out of the stargate. Getting sprayed with something. No air. Couldn't breath. Someone, lifting-carrying me. Voices. Pain.
John nodded and licked his lips. "SGC. Infirmary? Got. . . sprayed by something. Anaphylactic shock. Had to. . ." John's body was gripped by deep coughs and he clutched at the sheet covering his body. After the coughs had subsided he continued.
"Only three shots. Had to decide. Too weak. . .." Janet lifted a cup of ice chips to his lips and he gratefully accepted one into his mouth and sucked on it. Ahhh, heaven.
"Do you know what day it is John?"
Hmm. Met with the General Friday. Got a nice little 'bonus'. Apartment hunting. Moved in with Daniel the next day. Saturday. Almost got to Karaoke. Called back to base. Went off world. Same day? Maybe it was Sunday by then. Doesn't matter. Walked all day Sunday. Kind of fitting. God always seems that much closer surrounded by nature. Only thing that would have made that better would have been Marigold. You're drifting John! Okay, okay. Got to Sam. Camped. Talked to Jack under the light of the moon. Any camp town ladies out there John? No? Than knock off the lyrics. Headed back to base Monday. Almost became a 'crispy critter'. Who knows how long we were out. Nightfall. Attacked by big, ugly, flying-things. Almost died. Not sure when that happened. Was it Tuesday yet? How long have I been out of it? A couple hours? Days? So it's either Tuesday or sometime after that.
"Tuesday?"
"Wednesday actually. But you've been unconscious for a while. I extubated you last night. Do you remember waking up at all?"
John shook his head. So that's why his throat was sore. Thank God he didn't remember. Waking up to the sounds of a heart monitor had been disturbing enough.
"Where are the others?"
"I released them this morning. I treated all of you, well, except for Daniel for the anaphylactic shock and monitored everyone's heart rhythms to make sure there were no after effects of the electrical pulse." Janet looked at John and smiled. "You were right about Sam. It was a herniated disk. The swelling has gone done immensely, and I released her as well. But no field duty for at least a month. She should be able to return to full active duty after Christmas."
John shifted and grimaced as his chest tightened again. "When can I get out of here?"
"Well, I would like to keep you overnight for observation. You were critical when you came through the gate John. I won't lie. You were cyanotic and in V-fib and I had to shock you to get a normal sinus rhythm. It wasn't pretty. You scared a hell of a lot of people. Colonel O'Neill included."
Colonel O'Neill?
"I'll release you first thing tomorrow morning. I don't think you really want to be stuck in here on Thanksgiving." Janet paused uncomfortably, "Were you planning on going back to Chicago for Thanksgiving John? I, well. . . I tried calling your family and no one's called me back. Is something going on?"
So it wasn't his imagination. His family really had cut him off. Why? What did he ever do to deserve that? So he hadn't joined the business. So he hadn't stayed in Chicago. He's thirty years old! Old enough to make his own decisions, and definitely old enough to chose his own career.
"No. Um, Colonel O'Neill invited me over to his place. I guess Daniel and Teal'c will be there too. Some sort of 'tradition.' I, I haven't heard from my family. I guess they're just busy. Off on business or something. Wouldn't be the first holiday they've missed. I'm just surprised they didn't tell me. But I don't think they're too happy with me right now. They weren't exactly-supportive, of my working here."
"Oh. Well, I've spent a Thanksgiving or two with SG1 and it's really quite fun. But not too much fun-doctor's orders."
"Yes Ma'am!" John laughed quietly, yet silently cursed as another ripple of pain engulfed him. Damn him and his addiction! Ibuprofen just wasn't cutting it. He wanted drugs, and he wanted them badly.
Janet caught the look on his face which he had fought to conceal. This wasn't going to be easy. She felt bad for him, but knew he couldn't have anything stronger. He would just have to ride it out.
"Now just lie back and take it easy. You have all day to relax. I've given the nurses strict orders to hide all the patient charts where you can't get to them. No working. Got it?" Janet waited and was rewarded by a quick nod from her patient. She started to leave, but turned back. "Oh yes, you have a visitor."
As Janet walked out, Jack walked in. Back in uniform and ready to get back to work. Jack stood nervously just inside the door.
"So. How are you?"
"Um, I'm fine."
"Fine? You had a machine breathing for you for almost twenty four hours, and you're fine? Jeez Doc, you were blue! That's not fine!"
John stared at his commanding officer in surprise. Why was he reacting like this? I'm alive. I'm breathing on my own. Brain seems to be working. I'm fine.
"Is, is something wrong?"
"Hell yes something's wrong! In case you haven't noticed, you're still in the infirmary. You only land in the infirmary if something's 'wrong'. You shouldn't be here. What were you thinking? When the shit hits the fan, you get out of the way. Let me take the fall. You should have given yourself that last injection. Not me. That's what's wrong."
Jack watched as John's face crumpled a little as it was engulfed by a wave of confusion.
"Colonel. I took an oath. To save lives. I'm a doctor. That's who I am. I can't put my own needs ahead of everyone else. Not if it means someone might die."
"Damnit Doc! You almost died! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Jack regretted those words the moment he said them. Of course that means something. This wasn't the first time the doctor had almost died.
"Someone would have died if I'd chosen myself," John spit back. "Do you really think I could have lifted Sam's stretcher through the gate? Or helped you through when you weren't breathing? I'm not stupid. My back was killing me before that electrical shock hit. How do you think it felt afterwards? I could barely move. But I had no choice. There was no way I was going to be able to lift anything when the time came. I knew you could. I knew that no matter what you were feeling at the time, you would come through for me. For your team. I couldn't make that same promise. It was you or me. I chose you." John closed his eyes for a moment as another tinge of pain reminded him that he shouldn't be yelling.
"And in case you're wondering, I don't have a death wish. Been there, done that. I plan on staying on this team, and I plan on working my ass off to build up my strength. Maybe you forgot, but I wasn't supposed to be out there in the first place for another couple of months. When I go back out, and I will go back out, I'll be stronger. I won't make the same decision. I know that as a physician, your lives are in my hands. If I go down, I can't help the rest of you. I'll do whatever I have to do to ensure that this team makes it home in one piece. Even if that means choosing myself over you, or Daniel, or Sam, or Teal'c."
Jack stared at the doctor lying on the bed. A doctor who no longer appeared so innocent or so lost.
"So, how are you?
"I told you, I'm fi. . .." John caught Jack's look and quickly stopped. What did he want? Did he want to hear that John was not okay? That he was scared? That he hated being in the infirmary? That he hated the feeling of being powerless?
"What do you want Colonel? I don't understand. I'm fine. I'm breathing on my own. Yeah, I'm a little sore, but that'll pass. No brain damage. Janet's releasing me tomorrow morning. I'm fine!"
"What I want. . .." What do I want? Why am I even here yelling at this kid? If he says he's fine, he's fine. Let it go. But-I don't believe him. I don't think he believes it. If he does, well, that scares me even more.
"What I want, is for you to realize that I don't expect you to be fine. That I don't expect you to pretend that your scia, scia. . .,"
"Sciatica."
"That your sciatica isn't giving you grief. That being here," Jack waved his hand broadly around the room, "doesn't bother you. Doesn't remind you of what happened. What I want, is for you to realize that you have limits, and that you should speak up when you hit those limits."
"Why do you care?" The question was almost a whisper, a thought mistakenly uttered aloud. Jack fell silent, stunned. Why did he care?
Jeez Doc. Don't you know what it means to have someone care about you? You have a family. You've been through a major ordeal. You must have had someone there to show you that they care. That you're worth that much. Didn't you? Oops. Maybe not. Forgot that you're coming to my place tomorrow. Family mysteriously disappeared off the face of the planet. Friends then? That 'I'm fine' line rolls off your tongue way too easily. Guess they bought it though, huh?
"I care, when one of my people, one of my friends, is in obvious pain and won't admit it. I care, when one of those friends seems to think that he's not worth the concern of others. I care, when that friend doesn't realize just how important he is."
Did I just say that? Friend? Well, maybe not yet, but I have a feeling we'll get there. Just give it time.
John lay quietly on his bed, mulling over what Jack had just said. Jack didn't know him. But here he was, calling John 'friend'. Telling him that he cared what happened to him. Cared that he was in pain. But why? Damnit John! Who cares why? Isn't it enough that he does? You lucky bastard. You didn't know it when you signed up, but you found what you've been searching your while life for and you didn't even see it. Until it was spelled out for you that is.
"Colonel? I'm a bit sore. And tired. I think I'm going to try and get some sleep."
Jack sighed as he watched John turn over, away from him. Damn. I thought I got through. I really thought he was starting to understand. Jack started for the door and stopped. 'Sore.' 'Tired.' Not 'fine'. Jack smiled and called out over his shoulder,
"Get some sleep then and I'll be here in the morning to pick you up. Be ready early, cuz I have to get the turkey going right away or we'll never eat."
Jack laughed as he heard a muffled, "Yes, Sir," come from the bed. Maybe this was going to work out after all.
*****
"What happened out there people?" General Hammond swept his gave over SG1, well, most of SG1. Young Doctor Carter was still in the infirmary.
Jack stirred in his seat and opened his mouth to try and explain the rapid degeneration of events that occurred on the 'peaceful' planet.
"Well Sir, P2, ah, something. . ."
"P248X484."
"Ah, yeah, thanks Daniel," Jack looked at Daniel for a moment in amazement.
How did he do that? He didn't even have a piece of paper in front of him to peek at to come up the planet designation. Just remembered it. Like always. Like everything, including Jack's 'attitude' towards the doctor a month ago, that Daniel somehow decided was an indirect jab at himself. Guess the comment hit a little too close to home. Thankfully, they had finally talked about it, out there in the middle of nowhere. Called for a cease fire. Jack had called himself a 'jerk', and Daniel had been quick to agree. Is that what he thought? That I'm a jerk? Does he still think I'm a jerk? He hasn't exactly been opening up to me lately. I thought it was just him being 'Daniel'. But I'm not so sure anymore. Hell, the guy offered up his spare room to the Doc! That doesn't happen unless there was some sort of 'sharing' going on. Some mutual understanding. Not like there isn't enough for them to have a 'mutual understanding'. No family support. Both young and talented at what they do best. Both faced some sort of addiction. Jeez Jack. What, are you jealous? Daniel's free to make as many friends as he wants. Not like that's too difficult for him. Not like it is for me.
"Colonel?"
Jack's eyes focused and he found himself staring at Daniel, who looked back at him, face flushed, probably from embarrassment. Hell, Jack had just been staring at him for no apparent reason. Jack looked around and realized that everyone was looking at him intently.
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Anyway P248X484 appeared peaceful as the initial report indicated. However, there was a pointed absence of animal life-no animals, birds, or even bugs. Not that I missed finding the little creepy crawlers in my sleeping bag. . .. Doctor Carter, Daniel and Teal'c made it to our position by nightfall of our third day and we set up camp. Everything was fine until close to dusk the next day when we felt a charge to the air. Teal'c took a couple readings which indicated that there was an electrical charge coming from the direction of the stargate. We got hit by a pretty major burst of electrical current which knocked us all out. When we were all able to move, we started back, double time. We were within eye sight of the stargate when those, things, flew out and began spraying over the grass. I don't think it was targeting us General. We just happened to be there. All of us, well, except Daniel, started having trouble breathing and that's when the doctor gave us the injections of epinephrine. We were pretty close to the gate when the doctor collapsed and Teal'c carried him through."
"I see. Do we have the lab analysis back on what that chemical was?"
Janet flipped open a folder that was lying on the table in front of her. "Yes Sir. It appears to be some sort of a fertilizer. Similar properties to those contained in our own 'super-fertilizers' on Earth. However, this compound did contain a chemical which we were unable to identify. The physical properties of the compound were intriguing. While it had fallen in a powdered form, once it settled on the team's clothing, it began to break down quickly. We barely had time to run an analysis on it. This might be a result of the unknown chemical agent, but that's still undetermined.
"I'm assuming that this is an intentional aspect of the compound, given its high toxicity and its immediate effects on SG1. Once it breaks down, it's 'safe'. It appears harmful only when inhaled. But without more of the compound to study, this is still only a hypothesis. I guess it's a good thing that there were no animals on the planet, because this substance would also hold a high risk for them as well. Granted that they would require oxygen to survive."
"Or maybe there are animals on the planet, but we just didn't see them." Sam leaned forward, her eyes wide, her brain working on a solution to the mystery.
"Go on Major."
"Well Sir, that electrical pulse was strong enough to knock us out for a short time. But it didn't do any permanent damage. And I know I could feel the charge start slowly before it became disabling. Perhaps there was a steady undercurrent which we weren't aware of until it became strong enough to catch our attention. Animals are more sensitive to stimuli. Maybe the charge was meant to keep the animals out of the area. Sort of a precautionary measure? Perhaps what we had walked into was some sort of a testing ground, or a farm of sorts. Maybe it's being run by some big, intergalactic chemical company."
Janet stomach turned at the implications of what Sam was saying. "Sir, I recommend that we continue to run surveillance on the planet and see if we can get a larger sample of the chemical which the team was subjected to. While there appear to be no lingering after effects from the chemical, I still don't know what it was or if there is the possibility of future effects. Whoever is responsible for that chemical being dropped, went to great lengths to keep the area clear of any life forms which may have ingested it."
"I agree Doctor. I'll send a team in full HazMat gear to set up sensors on the planet. SG1, you're on stand down until Monday. Maybe we'll have some answers by then. Dismissed."
*****
"Any luck John?" Daniel approached the doctor who was setting the phone back on its cradle.
"No. I got Henry, Gamma's butler though. He wished me a very happy Thanksgiving. Apparently Gamma was 'unable to come to the phone.'" John smiled, half heartedly. The pain he was feeling was getting too hard to hide though and his smiled sagged.
"Oh. I'm sorry," Daniel paused. "Jack says dinner's ready. Let's get something to eat."
John followed behind Daniel wordlessly. As he neared the table, he could see and smell an array of dishes which actually looked quite appetizing. Lifting his eyebrows he looked at Jack.
"You made all of this?"
"Yes." Jack looked hurt as he glanced down at his neatly prepared feast. "I've been slaving over the hot stove all day. What did you think the smell was?"
"Um, well. Actually, I kind of thought you ordered in, or something. Sorry. It looks great. I couldn't cook like this if it meant saving my life."
"That's okay. You can do the dishes. You do know how to wash dishes?"
"Ha ha. Very funny. Of course I can wash dishes. Where's the dishwasher?" John turned as he heard a snigger behind him.
"What's so funny?"
"Jack doesn't have a dishwasher." Daniel was straight out laughing now at the wide eyed look he was getting from John.
"No dishwasher? Uh, that's okay. Sure. No dishwasher. Not like I'm not capable of doing dishes. . .." John was mumbling to himself by this time and Jack finally came to his rescue.
"I have a dishwasher." Jack turned and glared at the anthropologist who was still laughing at the look on John's face when he thought he had to wash the dishes by hand. "You can help him."
Daniel stopped laughing and looked took on a serious look. Then he deeply bowed and said, "Daniel Jackson. Dishwasher extraordinaire at your service."
They all laughed and filled their plates. Rather than sit at the table, they settled in front of the television to watch the game.
Unable to shake his professor mentality, a thought struck Daniel. "You know, it's been said that football is the religion of the twentieth century. More people attend football games than church services. Brings people together with one purpose."
"Yeah, to eat, drink, and be merry."
"I'm serious Jack."
"So am I."
Ignoring Jack, Daniel continued. "The stadium is the new place of worship. Temple of sorts. Instead of worshiping one or more gods, we worship the team of choice. We engage in rituals such as body painting to express our belief in the team. We chant together. We sing songs of praise. . .."
"Thank you Daniel. Can we watch the game now? Or does anyone have anything they would like to add?"
"I have an observation Colonel O'Neill. I am intrigued by this new 'religion' Daniel Jackson speaks of. Perhaps that is why the Gao'uld ruled planets have no such activity." Teal'c looked at Daniel who was about to respond when Jack broke in once again.
"Oh, for crying out loud. Can we just watch the game? Leave all the mythical mumbo jumbo for later when we have to think about the Gao'uld? It's Thanksgiving. Let's just be thankful that we can watch the game without one of those slimy critters breathing down our necks. Or in our necks."
John leaned back and listened to the friendly interactions amongst his new team mates-his new friends. Smiling, he raised his glass.
"I'd like to make a toast." The others stopped talking and looked at John.
"What is a toast?"
"Just lift your glass Teal'c." Jack raised his glass and waited for John to continue.
John spoke quietly, "It's been one hell of year for me. I didn't think I actually had anything to be grateful for. I was wrong."
"I have a home." John looked at Daniel. "I have a job where people care about what happens to me." Jack. "I'm surrounded by people who refuse to let me die." Teal'c. "I have friends who are willing to listen to me and not judge me for what I've done." Sam. "And people who are looking out for my welfare." John's thoughts turned to Janet and General Hammond.
"What more can one man ask for?"
"Here here!" Their glasses clinked together as each man's thoughts turned inwards.
Somberly, Jack looked at the people-his friends, who were sharing the day with him. "As our loved ones aren't here with us today, I just wanted to say, well, I'm just glad that you guys are."
"Happy Thanksgiving."
*Author's note: Okay, kind of cheesy and a bit early for the season, but. . . Happy Thanksgiving!
Something Old, Something New
Part Eleven
By: Victoria F.
V-fib. Cyanotic. Pulse ox. Sinus rhythm. Anaphylactic shock. What the hell have I done? You sent that boy where he had no business being. He wasn't ready. You knew he wasn't ready. Why? Why did you do it? Because it was convenient? Because he was here? What if he wasn't here? You would have found somebody else to go out there. You didn't have to send him. Damnit! He's only been on base for a month. Barely has the basics down. You should have known something was wrong with that planet. MALPs don't just drive over cliffs. It just doesn't happen. I don't care how peaceful that planet appeared. Too peaceful. Why didn't I catch that?
Colonel O'Neill blames himself. I could see it on his face the minute he stumbled through the gate. Not just one, but two down on his watch. Going to give himself some major bruises over that. Never mind the fact that he not only took a pretty major jolt of electricity out there, but almost ended up in the same position as the doctor. Hell, that won't register with his guiltometer. The fact that he's lying in the infirmary with the rest of SG1 being pumped full drugs and hooked up to machines won't be doing him any good either. Can't check on his people when he's flat on his back.
I don't know how they do it. He's one of them. One mission. One. That's all it took. There's no going back now. Couldn't pull him out if I wanted to. SG1 through and through. With all its merits. I almost thought Teal'c wasn't going to put him down until Doctor Frasier showed up. Delivered straight into her capable hands. And was Major Carter worried about herself? No. That much was obvious. More concerned with how Doctor Carter was. O'Neill looked like he was on the verge of collapse, but stayed in the gate room until he knew that Doctor Carter was alive. Wouldn't budge. Doctor Jackson either for that matter. Although, out of the lot of them, Jackson looked surprisingly well.
"General Hammond."
The General looked up, startled to see Janet standing in front of him. Standing quickly, he returned her salute.
"I'm sorry for intruding General, but I knocked. When you didn't answer I was concerned and came in."
"It's quite all right Doctor. Do you have news on SG1? How are they? Doctor Carter? Major Carter?"
"Yes Sir. First, I want to assure you that they are all stable. They are all going to make full recoveries."
"Thank God. What are their conditions?"
"Well Sir, Daniel is doing quite well. His antihistamines for his allergies protected him from the effects of the chemical they all inhaled. For once his allergies were a blessing. If he hadn't taken an antihistamine, given his vulnerability to allergens, he probably would have been much worse off than any of them. His heart rate is stable, which is what I was concerned about after the electrical charge they were subjected to. I'm keeping him in the infirmary overnight with the others for observation."
General Hammond looked relieved at the news, and ran a hand over the top of his smooth head. "Go on Doctor."
"Yes Sir. Teal'c is recovering quickly with the help of his symbiote. He was affected by the chemical on the planet, but received an injection of epinephrine almost immediately, forestalling any damage. His symbiote went to work quite quickly, and I am treating him simply with intravenous fluids and oxygen.
"I'm treating both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter for anaphylactic shock and the electrical jolt they took on the planet. As both received epinephrine injections right away, I'm not overly concerned about lingering effects. I'm treating them both with corticosteroids, fluids, oxygen and I'm also monitoring their heart functions. Here's the good news General. I've taken Major Carter for an MRI and she is only suffering from a herniated disk. A condition Doctor Carter apparently diagnosed off world. The fact that she did have brief loss of functioning in her left side does concern me, however she seems to be able to move her limbs with no problems now. Rather than put her in traction, I'm ordering a short leave of absence. As bed rest is not beneficial to her condition, I will not be keeping her in the infirmary. I'll be releasing her with the others."
Janet paused and looked at the General, who's face relaxed with each bit of news.
"And Doctor Carter? How is he?"
"Doctor Carter is still unconscious General. His body took more of a punch than the others when he didn't receive the epinephrine injection. By the time Teal'c brought him through the gate, he was cyanotic and in V-fib. We were able to shock his heart back into a normal sinus rhythm. I was able to administer epinephrine in the gate room, however, his body was deprived of oxygen for quite some time. He's intubated at the moment and he's being treated the same as the Colonel and Major Carter. Corticosteroids and intravenous fluids. We have him on a heart monitor, but his pulse ox is steady. He's stable Sir. We won't know about permanent damage from the lack of oxygen until he's conscious though."
"Just why in the hell didn't he give himself the epinephrine injection Doctor?"
Janet looked at the General and the realization dawned on her. He didn't know. He assumed that there was enough for all of them.
"I'm sorry General. I thought you knew. There were only three syringes of epinephrine in the med kit. He deliberately did not give himself the shot."
The General sank back in his chair. This was getting worse and worse. Had he somehow gotten the impression that he had to withhold treatment from himself in order to treat the others? That was not what he was assigned to the team for. His life was as valuable as any other. Hammond sighed and looked at Janet.
"Why Doctor? Was he ordered to treat the others and withhold treatment from himself? Did he think there was enough? Did he miscount? What was it?"
"He knew he was the weakest Sir. From what I understand from talking to the others, he was in no condition to either help carry Major Carter or whoever else may have been denied the injection. He weighed the risks and made a decision."
"I see Doctor. Thank you. Please inform SG1 that I will be debrief with them tomorrow at 0100 hours."
"Yes Sir." Janet paused, "And General? He made the right decision. In case you were doubting that. There was no alternative." Silently, Janet turned and left the General alone with his thoughts.
*****
Pain! Ohhh, my Gaaawwd. What happened? My lungs-burning! Caaann't thiinnk. My head. Pounding. Not again. It hurts!
'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.'
What is that?
'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.'
No. No! Not again. Not. . . again.
'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.' 'Beep.'
"John! Wake up! Time to wake up now!"
No. It happened again. Lucy? Is Lucy okay? Doctor Benton? What's happening?
"Doctor Carter! Wake up!"
John's eyes snapped open and he found himself staring into a pair of large, brown, eyes which were fastened to him, as if afraid to stray from his face. Lucy? No, Lucy's dead. Kerry? Hmm, Kerry's eyes are more Hazel. Janet!
"Janet?" John mumbled, his hazy mind clearing a bit. Oh, talking was not a good idea. John grimaced as the small effort sent shivers of pain down his sore throat and into his weakened lungs.
"Yes, it's Janet. John? Do you remember what happened? Do you know where you are?"
Hospital. No, infirmary? On base. SGC. Planet? Grass, flowers. Electricity. Planes, no-something flying out of the stargate. Getting sprayed with something. No air. Couldn't breath. Someone, lifting-carrying me. Voices. Pain.
John nodded and licked his lips. "SGC. Infirmary? Got. . . sprayed by something. Anaphylactic shock. Had to. . ." John's body was gripped by deep coughs and he clutched at the sheet covering his body. After the coughs had subsided he continued.
"Only three shots. Had to decide. Too weak. . .." Janet lifted a cup of ice chips to his lips and he gratefully accepted one into his mouth and sucked on it. Ahhh, heaven.
"Do you know what day it is John?"
Hmm. Met with the General Friday. Got a nice little 'bonus'. Apartment hunting. Moved in with Daniel the next day. Saturday. Almost got to Karaoke. Called back to base. Went off world. Same day? Maybe it was Sunday by then. Doesn't matter. Walked all day Sunday. Kind of fitting. God always seems that much closer surrounded by nature. Only thing that would have made that better would have been Marigold. You're drifting John! Okay, okay. Got to Sam. Camped. Talked to Jack under the light of the moon. Any camp town ladies out there John? No? Than knock off the lyrics. Headed back to base Monday. Almost became a 'crispy critter'. Who knows how long we were out. Nightfall. Attacked by big, ugly, flying-things. Almost died. Not sure when that happened. Was it Tuesday yet? How long have I been out of it? A couple hours? Days? So it's either Tuesday or sometime after that.
"Tuesday?"
"Wednesday actually. But you've been unconscious for a while. I extubated you last night. Do you remember waking up at all?"
John shook his head. So that's why his throat was sore. Thank God he didn't remember. Waking up to the sounds of a heart monitor had been disturbing enough.
"Where are the others?"
"I released them this morning. I treated all of you, well, except for Daniel for the anaphylactic shock and monitored everyone's heart rhythms to make sure there were no after effects of the electrical pulse." Janet looked at John and smiled. "You were right about Sam. It was a herniated disk. The swelling has gone done immensely, and I released her as well. But no field duty for at least a month. She should be able to return to full active duty after Christmas."
John shifted and grimaced as his chest tightened again. "When can I get out of here?"
"Well, I would like to keep you overnight for observation. You were critical when you came through the gate John. I won't lie. You were cyanotic and in V-fib and I had to shock you to get a normal sinus rhythm. It wasn't pretty. You scared a hell of a lot of people. Colonel O'Neill included."
Colonel O'Neill?
"I'll release you first thing tomorrow morning. I don't think you really want to be stuck in here on Thanksgiving." Janet paused uncomfortably, "Were you planning on going back to Chicago for Thanksgiving John? I, well. . . I tried calling your family and no one's called me back. Is something going on?"
So it wasn't his imagination. His family really had cut him off. Why? What did he ever do to deserve that? So he hadn't joined the business. So he hadn't stayed in Chicago. He's thirty years old! Old enough to make his own decisions, and definitely old enough to chose his own career.
"No. Um, Colonel O'Neill invited me over to his place. I guess Daniel and Teal'c will be there too. Some sort of 'tradition.' I, I haven't heard from my family. I guess they're just busy. Off on business or something. Wouldn't be the first holiday they've missed. I'm just surprised they didn't tell me. But I don't think they're too happy with me right now. They weren't exactly-supportive, of my working here."
"Oh. Well, I've spent a Thanksgiving or two with SG1 and it's really quite fun. But not too much fun-doctor's orders."
"Yes Ma'am!" John laughed quietly, yet silently cursed as another ripple of pain engulfed him. Damn him and his addiction! Ibuprofen just wasn't cutting it. He wanted drugs, and he wanted them badly.
Janet caught the look on his face which he had fought to conceal. This wasn't going to be easy. She felt bad for him, but knew he couldn't have anything stronger. He would just have to ride it out.
"Now just lie back and take it easy. You have all day to relax. I've given the nurses strict orders to hide all the patient charts where you can't get to them. No working. Got it?" Janet waited and was rewarded by a quick nod from her patient. She started to leave, but turned back. "Oh yes, you have a visitor."
As Janet walked out, Jack walked in. Back in uniform and ready to get back to work. Jack stood nervously just inside the door.
"So. How are you?"
"Um, I'm fine."
"Fine? You had a machine breathing for you for almost twenty four hours, and you're fine? Jeez Doc, you were blue! That's not fine!"
John stared at his commanding officer in surprise. Why was he reacting like this? I'm alive. I'm breathing on my own. Brain seems to be working. I'm fine.
"Is, is something wrong?"
"Hell yes something's wrong! In case you haven't noticed, you're still in the infirmary. You only land in the infirmary if something's 'wrong'. You shouldn't be here. What were you thinking? When the shit hits the fan, you get out of the way. Let me take the fall. You should have given yourself that last injection. Not me. That's what's wrong."
Jack watched as John's face crumpled a little as it was engulfed by a wave of confusion.
"Colonel. I took an oath. To save lives. I'm a doctor. That's who I am. I can't put my own needs ahead of everyone else. Not if it means someone might die."
"Damnit Doc! You almost died! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Jack regretted those words the moment he said them. Of course that means something. This wasn't the first time the doctor had almost died.
"Someone would have died if I'd chosen myself," John spit back. "Do you really think I could have lifted Sam's stretcher through the gate? Or helped you through when you weren't breathing? I'm not stupid. My back was killing me before that electrical shock hit. How do you think it felt afterwards? I could barely move. But I had no choice. There was no way I was going to be able to lift anything when the time came. I knew you could. I knew that no matter what you were feeling at the time, you would come through for me. For your team. I couldn't make that same promise. It was you or me. I chose you." John closed his eyes for a moment as another tinge of pain reminded him that he shouldn't be yelling.
"And in case you're wondering, I don't have a death wish. Been there, done that. I plan on staying on this team, and I plan on working my ass off to build up my strength. Maybe you forgot, but I wasn't supposed to be out there in the first place for another couple of months. When I go back out, and I will go back out, I'll be stronger. I won't make the same decision. I know that as a physician, your lives are in my hands. If I go down, I can't help the rest of you. I'll do whatever I have to do to ensure that this team makes it home in one piece. Even if that means choosing myself over you, or Daniel, or Sam, or Teal'c."
Jack stared at the doctor lying on the bed. A doctor who no longer appeared so innocent or so lost.
"So, how are you?
"I told you, I'm fi. . .." John caught Jack's look and quickly stopped. What did he want? Did he want to hear that John was not okay? That he was scared? That he hated being in the infirmary? That he hated the feeling of being powerless?
"What do you want Colonel? I don't understand. I'm fine. I'm breathing on my own. Yeah, I'm a little sore, but that'll pass. No brain damage. Janet's releasing me tomorrow morning. I'm fine!"
"What I want. . .." What do I want? Why am I even here yelling at this kid? If he says he's fine, he's fine. Let it go. But-I don't believe him. I don't think he believes it. If he does, well, that scares me even more.
"What I want, is for you to realize that I don't expect you to be fine. That I don't expect you to pretend that your scia, scia. . .,"
"Sciatica."
"That your sciatica isn't giving you grief. That being here," Jack waved his hand broadly around the room, "doesn't bother you. Doesn't remind you of what happened. What I want, is for you to realize that you have limits, and that you should speak up when you hit those limits."
"Why do you care?" The question was almost a whisper, a thought mistakenly uttered aloud. Jack fell silent, stunned. Why did he care?
Jeez Doc. Don't you know what it means to have someone care about you? You have a family. You've been through a major ordeal. You must have had someone there to show you that they care. That you're worth that much. Didn't you? Oops. Maybe not. Forgot that you're coming to my place tomorrow. Family mysteriously disappeared off the face of the planet. Friends then? That 'I'm fine' line rolls off your tongue way too easily. Guess they bought it though, huh?
"I care, when one of my people, one of my friends, is in obvious pain and won't admit it. I care, when one of those friends seems to think that he's not worth the concern of others. I care, when that friend doesn't realize just how important he is."
Did I just say that? Friend? Well, maybe not yet, but I have a feeling we'll get there. Just give it time.
John lay quietly on his bed, mulling over what Jack had just said. Jack didn't know him. But here he was, calling John 'friend'. Telling him that he cared what happened to him. Cared that he was in pain. But why? Damnit John! Who cares why? Isn't it enough that he does? You lucky bastard. You didn't know it when you signed up, but you found what you've been searching your while life for and you didn't even see it. Until it was spelled out for you that is.
"Colonel? I'm a bit sore. And tired. I think I'm going to try and get some sleep."
Jack sighed as he watched John turn over, away from him. Damn. I thought I got through. I really thought he was starting to understand. Jack started for the door and stopped. 'Sore.' 'Tired.' Not 'fine'. Jack smiled and called out over his shoulder,
"Get some sleep then and I'll be here in the morning to pick you up. Be ready early, cuz I have to get the turkey going right away or we'll never eat."
Jack laughed as he heard a muffled, "Yes, Sir," come from the bed. Maybe this was going to work out after all.
*****
"What happened out there people?" General Hammond swept his gave over SG1, well, most of SG1. Young Doctor Carter was still in the infirmary.
Jack stirred in his seat and opened his mouth to try and explain the rapid degeneration of events that occurred on the 'peaceful' planet.
"Well Sir, P2, ah, something. . ."
"P248X484."
"Ah, yeah, thanks Daniel," Jack looked at Daniel for a moment in amazement.
How did he do that? He didn't even have a piece of paper in front of him to peek at to come up the planet designation. Just remembered it. Like always. Like everything, including Jack's 'attitude' towards the doctor a month ago, that Daniel somehow decided was an indirect jab at himself. Guess the comment hit a little too close to home. Thankfully, they had finally talked about it, out there in the middle of nowhere. Called for a cease fire. Jack had called himself a 'jerk', and Daniel had been quick to agree. Is that what he thought? That I'm a jerk? Does he still think I'm a jerk? He hasn't exactly been opening up to me lately. I thought it was just him being 'Daniel'. But I'm not so sure anymore. Hell, the guy offered up his spare room to the Doc! That doesn't happen unless there was some sort of 'sharing' going on. Some mutual understanding. Not like there isn't enough for them to have a 'mutual understanding'. No family support. Both young and talented at what they do best. Both faced some sort of addiction. Jeez Jack. What, are you jealous? Daniel's free to make as many friends as he wants. Not like that's too difficult for him. Not like it is for me.
"Colonel?"
Jack's eyes focused and he found himself staring at Daniel, who looked back at him, face flushed, probably from embarrassment. Hell, Jack had just been staring at him for no apparent reason. Jack looked around and realized that everyone was looking at him intently.
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Anyway P248X484 appeared peaceful as the initial report indicated. However, there was a pointed absence of animal life-no animals, birds, or even bugs. Not that I missed finding the little creepy crawlers in my sleeping bag. . .. Doctor Carter, Daniel and Teal'c made it to our position by nightfall of our third day and we set up camp. Everything was fine until close to dusk the next day when we felt a charge to the air. Teal'c took a couple readings which indicated that there was an electrical charge coming from the direction of the stargate. We got hit by a pretty major burst of electrical current which knocked us all out. When we were all able to move, we started back, double time. We were within eye sight of the stargate when those, things, flew out and began spraying over the grass. I don't think it was targeting us General. We just happened to be there. All of us, well, except Daniel, started having trouble breathing and that's when the doctor gave us the injections of epinephrine. We were pretty close to the gate when the doctor collapsed and Teal'c carried him through."
"I see. Do we have the lab analysis back on what that chemical was?"
Janet flipped open a folder that was lying on the table in front of her. "Yes Sir. It appears to be some sort of a fertilizer. Similar properties to those contained in our own 'super-fertilizers' on Earth. However, this compound did contain a chemical which we were unable to identify. The physical properties of the compound were intriguing. While it had fallen in a powdered form, once it settled on the team's clothing, it began to break down quickly. We barely had time to run an analysis on it. This might be a result of the unknown chemical agent, but that's still undetermined.
"I'm assuming that this is an intentional aspect of the compound, given its high toxicity and its immediate effects on SG1. Once it breaks down, it's 'safe'. It appears harmful only when inhaled. But without more of the compound to study, this is still only a hypothesis. I guess it's a good thing that there were no animals on the planet, because this substance would also hold a high risk for them as well. Granted that they would require oxygen to survive."
"Or maybe there are animals on the planet, but we just didn't see them." Sam leaned forward, her eyes wide, her brain working on a solution to the mystery.
"Go on Major."
"Well Sir, that electrical pulse was strong enough to knock us out for a short time. But it didn't do any permanent damage. And I know I could feel the charge start slowly before it became disabling. Perhaps there was a steady undercurrent which we weren't aware of until it became strong enough to catch our attention. Animals are more sensitive to stimuli. Maybe the charge was meant to keep the animals out of the area. Sort of a precautionary measure? Perhaps what we had walked into was some sort of a testing ground, or a farm of sorts. Maybe it's being run by some big, intergalactic chemical company."
Janet stomach turned at the implications of what Sam was saying. "Sir, I recommend that we continue to run surveillance on the planet and see if we can get a larger sample of the chemical which the team was subjected to. While there appear to be no lingering after effects from the chemical, I still don't know what it was or if there is the possibility of future effects. Whoever is responsible for that chemical being dropped, went to great lengths to keep the area clear of any life forms which may have ingested it."
"I agree Doctor. I'll send a team in full HazMat gear to set up sensors on the planet. SG1, you're on stand down until Monday. Maybe we'll have some answers by then. Dismissed."
*****
"Any luck John?" Daniel approached the doctor who was setting the phone back on its cradle.
"No. I got Henry, Gamma's butler though. He wished me a very happy Thanksgiving. Apparently Gamma was 'unable to come to the phone.'" John smiled, half heartedly. The pain he was feeling was getting too hard to hide though and his smiled sagged.
"Oh. I'm sorry," Daniel paused. "Jack says dinner's ready. Let's get something to eat."
John followed behind Daniel wordlessly. As he neared the table, he could see and smell an array of dishes which actually looked quite appetizing. Lifting his eyebrows he looked at Jack.
"You made all of this?"
"Yes." Jack looked hurt as he glanced down at his neatly prepared feast. "I've been slaving over the hot stove all day. What did you think the smell was?"
"Um, well. Actually, I kind of thought you ordered in, or something. Sorry. It looks great. I couldn't cook like this if it meant saving my life."
"That's okay. You can do the dishes. You do know how to wash dishes?"
"Ha ha. Very funny. Of course I can wash dishes. Where's the dishwasher?" John turned as he heard a snigger behind him.
"What's so funny?"
"Jack doesn't have a dishwasher." Daniel was straight out laughing now at the wide eyed look he was getting from John.
"No dishwasher? Uh, that's okay. Sure. No dishwasher. Not like I'm not capable of doing dishes. . .." John was mumbling to himself by this time and Jack finally came to his rescue.
"I have a dishwasher." Jack turned and glared at the anthropologist who was still laughing at the look on John's face when he thought he had to wash the dishes by hand. "You can help him."
Daniel stopped laughing and looked took on a serious look. Then he deeply bowed and said, "Daniel Jackson. Dishwasher extraordinaire at your service."
They all laughed and filled their plates. Rather than sit at the table, they settled in front of the television to watch the game.
Unable to shake his professor mentality, a thought struck Daniel. "You know, it's been said that football is the religion of the twentieth century. More people attend football games than church services. Brings people together with one purpose."
"Yeah, to eat, drink, and be merry."
"I'm serious Jack."
"So am I."
Ignoring Jack, Daniel continued. "The stadium is the new place of worship. Temple of sorts. Instead of worshiping one or more gods, we worship the team of choice. We engage in rituals such as body painting to express our belief in the team. We chant together. We sing songs of praise. . .."
"Thank you Daniel. Can we watch the game now? Or does anyone have anything they would like to add?"
"I have an observation Colonel O'Neill. I am intrigued by this new 'religion' Daniel Jackson speaks of. Perhaps that is why the Gao'uld ruled planets have no such activity." Teal'c looked at Daniel who was about to respond when Jack broke in once again.
"Oh, for crying out loud. Can we just watch the game? Leave all the mythical mumbo jumbo for later when we have to think about the Gao'uld? It's Thanksgiving. Let's just be thankful that we can watch the game without one of those slimy critters breathing down our necks. Or in our necks."
John leaned back and listened to the friendly interactions amongst his new team mates-his new friends. Smiling, he raised his glass.
"I'd like to make a toast." The others stopped talking and looked at John.
"What is a toast?"
"Just lift your glass Teal'c." Jack raised his glass and waited for John to continue.
John spoke quietly, "It's been one hell of year for me. I didn't think I actually had anything to be grateful for. I was wrong."
"I have a home." John looked at Daniel. "I have a job where people care about what happens to me." Jack. "I'm surrounded by people who refuse to let me die." Teal'c. "I have friends who are willing to listen to me and not judge me for what I've done." Sam. "And people who are looking out for my welfare." John's thoughts turned to Janet and General Hammond.
"What more can one man ask for?"
"Here here!" Their glasses clinked together as each man's thoughts turned inwards.
Somberly, Jack looked at the people-his friends, who were sharing the day with him. "As our loved ones aren't here with us today, I just wanted to say, well, I'm just glad that you guys are."
"Happy Thanksgiving."