Hey... I feel horrible for leaving you hanging for this long. Uni got the best of me. Now I only have time to ride on the train home or back to my dorm. This is why this chapter took so long. I'm really sorry. I hope I can make it up to you during the holidays! Now enjoy the new chapter! :)

Chapter 11

The road so far…

"Her name is Jade," Crowley explained. "She has been one of the purgatory souls that were released by Castiel and escaped him."

"So, what's the plan?" Sam asked Dean who was busy loading the trunk with ammo and their usual equipment. "Try to wrap her in that blanket with the devil's trap on both sides and hope that it will have an effect on her, and then drag her back here and keep her captured until we figure out a way to drive her out of Jo's body?"

They darted out of the bathroom and toward Jade who was quite surprised by the trap.

Dean threw the blanket over her and tried to wrap her in it. They struggled and dropped to the ground.

Together they wrapped Jade in the blanket and fastened it with tape around her.

"Wow, you really got her," praised Crowley, popping up out of nowhere in Bobby's panic room.

"Do you know a way to exorcize her?" asked Sam impatiently.

"The only way to force her out o your friend's body is or your friend to push her out herself and that only works if she gets her soul back. No soul, no power."

Crowley turned to Dean. "I told you, the only way to reunite with the soul is to die."

The doctor was surprised to see him again. "I actually didn't think I'd ever see you again, Dean Winchester. Last time was rather sharp."

"I know but I don't have a choice, doc. I'm running out of options," declared the hunter.

He took off his shirt and tank top and laid flat down on his back on the table. "Hey, don't take me back to early. I have a risky request to make."

The rules haven't changed. 3 minutes and then I'll start the re-animation. You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," answered Dean and closed his eyes.

He felt the sting of the needle and faintly heard Robert say "Your heart's beating quite fast" before he lost consciousness.

"Messorum evoco qui me tetigit."

Like last time he didn't see death anywhere but his cocky reaper assistant.

"You really do have a death wish, don't you?" she said.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure this time?" asked a nearly bored voice behind Dean.

The hunter spun around to find himself directly in Death's face.

"What can I do for you, Dean?" demanded Death.

"I thought we could work together after that worked so well last time," explained Dean and put on his sweetest smile.

"And what do you require of me?"

"To raise two souls from of hell?"

"What can you offer me in return?"

"Uh…"

The horseman chuckled. "Let me know when you can finish that sentence."

"You're the only option I have! Please!"

"Dean!" Tessa chimed in urgently now. "You shouldn't work yourself up over it."

"Mind her advice, boy. The heart is a fragile thing," agreed the horseman.

"I can't leave before you agree to this!" Dean shot back, suddenly panicking.

"Ah, damn," he groaned when he felt the familiar pull back to life.

"Dean, you should leave!" repeated Tessa. ! If you don't leave now you will never!"

Something was different when Dean finally woke up on the table. He still had trouble breathing which was probably due to the fact that his chest was hurting like hell as if someone was literally ripping his heart out.

Faintly he heard Dr. Robert's urgent voice. "Come on, Dean. Don't faint. Stay with us and breathe!"

When the worst was over Dr. Robert slumped into a chair and wiped sweat off his forehead.

"Jesus, you'll really give me a heart attack one day, son," he said. "And I'm not even the one with the abnormal heart rate."

"Huh? What?"

"Something's wrong with your heart," explained the doctor. "It's beating too fast. Please take it slow. No physical or psychological stress of any kind, yes? I really don't feel comfortable with letting you go without a proper examination."

Death had implied that he would help Dean if he had something to offer him in return.

Absent-mindedly his gaze wandered around and eventually lingered on a newspaper lying on a bar stool. He reached out, seized it and read the headlines.

One completely individual human being after the other was being found dead. . It was Castiel's signature.

Hang on, Dean suddenly thought. Cas was making Death's job harder by giving him more work than usually. So if he could somehow convince Death that they could and would take action against Cas, maybe it was enough of a bargaining chip for Death to accept his request.

Subconsciously, his hand wandered up to his chest, right where his heart was. He still felt a dull pain in his chest as if a tiny hand was squeezing it.

He had made up his mind. He would confront Death again. It was his only option. And it damn felt like his last shot.

"Dean?"

"Hey, Sam."

"Dean, where the hell are you?" asked Sam slightly worried.

"I'm close."

"Where exactly is close and what are you doing there?"

"Research," answered Dean curtly. "Look, I need you to do something for me."

"Okay…"

"I'm gonna message you the room number of the motel I'm staying at. I need you to be there at a certain time."

"Dean, what are you–"

"I need you to be there at 11 am sharp to call an ambulance and burst through the door. Not a single minute earlier or later, you got that?"

"Yes, yes. I got that but dean, you're scaring me."

"Don't worry, Sammy. Everything's gonna be alright," said Dean emphatically calm. "You trust me, don't you?"

"I do but Dean what – "

"See you tomorrow, Sam," said Dean and hung up.

"What did he say?" demanded Bobby, joining Sam in the kitchen.

"Not much," replied Sa and then recapped Dean's instructions.

Bobby's eyes widened in horror. "That damn sounds like he's gonna end it."

"Nah, Dean wouldn't do that. He knows he has us and he doesn't even have a reason to commit suicide."

"How much have you two been talking lately?"

"Not much… But we never really talk anyway. Or rather Dean doesn't talk. I don't think he would be desperate enough to commit suicide but he still has me worried."

"He gave you his location, right?" pointed Bobby out.

"Yes, he did," confirmed Sam, lifting up his cell. "But he also told me to trust him. And I trust him, Bobby. He's my brother. Of course I trust him. I know it sounds crazy but he wouldn't… He wouldn't just leave us like that."

"I hope you're not regretting it tomorrow," replied Bobby simply.

Next day, 10:37 am

Dean had a queasy feeling in his stomach. Of course he did. What he was about to do was a really bad idea but it was his only idea so he would go through with it. And he had Sam to back him up. Sure, Sam was probably worried sick but Dean knew that his brother would never betray his trust. Not anymore.

10:40 am

He took one last look at the description on his notebook screen. How to kill yourself painlessly in 4 easy steps. It was sick that such instructions were actually to find on the internet. Both the people sharing them and the people reading them seriously needed help. But then again so did he.

So he grabbed the glass with the cocktail of sleeping pills he had mixed earlier and eyed it wearily. This would really be unpleasant and if he survived it, the aftermath would hurt like hell.

But it's worth it, he kept repeating in his head. You're her only chance so…

"Come on, Dean, be a man and… Knock it down," he muttered and downed the thick white liquid.

He shuddered. It tasted awful and made him want to throw up so badly but he forced himself to keep it in.

10:45

He waited for the bad taste to dissolve, then he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.

Sam had a very bad feeling when he arrived at the address Dean had given him. As he stepped on the porch he tried to peek inside the motel room but drawn curtains prevented any insight. Of course, Dean was as thorough as usually – causing Sam's worry to increase.

What the hell was his brother up to? That question had been haunting him all through the night. Against Bobby's urging and his own better judgment he had decided to trust Dean with this. But he expected a detailed explanation later.

He glanced at his watch. 11:59 am. Well, Dean had said not a minute earlier or later but he couldn't take the tension anymore. So he didn't hesitate and threw himself against the door.

It gave in easily. Dean must have left it unlocked. Speaking of Dean, where…

"Oh my god," gasped the younger Winchester when his eyes found his brother lying motionlessly on the sofa. He hurried over and shook him. There was no reaction. "Dean!" He tried again, harder this time but Dean remained motionless. "Crap…"

Frantically, Sam gripped Dean's ankle tight, trying to find a pulse. "Come on… come on… there!" He let out a sigh of relief when he found it but it was slow. Too slow, Sam realized, panicking anew.

He rummaged around in his pockets, pulled out his phone with trembling hands and dialed 911. While he waited for someone to pick answer his call his eyes scanned the room and eventually lingered on the suicide instructions on the notebook screen.

"911. What's your emergency?"

Sam's eyes widened and he gasped again when he saw the empty glass on the table. There was still a tiny rest of the killer cocktail at the bottom of it. "God, please no!"

"Hello?"

Still in shock, Sam suddenly became aware of the fact that someone had answered his call.

"Hey. I need an ambulance." He gave the woman at the other end the address. "Please hurry," he added, fighting tears. "My brother tried to commit suicide!"

It wasn't until later that Sam would realize that Dean had calculated every detail. He had even calculated enough time for everything to make sure that he survived.

The ambulance arrived 10 minutes after Sam's call. The medics did first aid and then brought Dean to Sioux Falls hospital where the doctors took over and immediately shoved he patient into the ER.

That was when Sam had time to call Bobby and tell him what had happened. He wasn't sure if Bobby could make out a single word of what he was saying since there was a huge lump in his throat, making it difficult to speak and turning sentences into hiccups. However, Bobby's reply ("Balls! That idjit!") confirmed that Bobby was aware of the situation. Just before he hung up he promised to meet Sam at the hospital in a few.

The sudden click indicating that Bobby had hung up sounded like a gunshot in Sam's ears. It startled and shook him to the core.

Dean's dying. The undeniable truth was right in front of him, no way to escape it. So many questions shot through his head. The most urging one was definitely why. Why would Dean do something like this? What had he been thinking?

When Dean woke up he could make out a mix of erratic voices. Opening his eyes he found himself standing next to his body and surrounded by energetic surgeons. They were quite agitated. But why? Actually, they shouldn't be. He had planned this into every detail. His life shouldn't be at risk. Not really.

But why were they so worried about him then? And why was his heart hurting like hell?

He needed to find Death and close that deal. Fast.

He turned around and left the ER. Walking along the hall he began summoning the Angel of Death.

"Messorum– "

"Of all the stupid ideas you always come up with one that tops them all."

Dean spun around to find Tessa leaning casually against the wall left of him. Her tone was lightly but her expression was stony. Her stoic posture made it clear that she was pissed.

"Tessa, hey – argh"

A sudden burning pain in his heart let him drop on his knees and clutch his chest. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, waiting for the pain to subside.

"You never listen to anyone, do you?" Tessa snapped. "Dean, what the hell are you doing?"

"I… need…" he bit out.

"You don't need anything," she contradicted, shaking her head. "You're just stubborn and now it might cost your life. You're an idiot, Dean."

"Maybe," he panted, rising to his feet. The pain had finally subsided to a more bearable level but it was still there and probably not gone anytime soon. "But I'm here now. So where's the man?"

"He's already waiting for you in the canteen upstairs. He knew you wouldn't just let it go," she answered. "Can you walk?"

"Can you faint while in your astral body?"

"No."

"Then I think I can walk," replied Dean and strode ahead, proving it to her.

Up in the hospital canteen Death was having Philly Cheese Steak for lunch. Dean almost got hungry. They all were invisible to everyone else in the room.

"That any good?" he asked, taking a seat opposite the horseman. "For hospital food I mean."

"You would be surprised," answered Death smiling. "You should try some if you happen to survive."

"Maybe I wi-," said Dean but then he froze. "Wait, what?"

"Oh, you didn't tell him?" Death turned to his assistant who was standing next to him.

"No, I assumed you would want to do it yourself," she replied.

"With pleasure."

The horseman put down his fork and knife and bowed down to – as Dean found out just two seconds later – pick up a small wooden box that he placed on his lap.

"What's in the box?" inquired Dean now.

"This box, Dean Winchester," drawled Death and gently stroke the top with his skinny fingers. "contains your very existence. Your present and more importantly your future. If you will ever get a glimpse of it is in hands and my hands only."

It didn't take Dean long to realize what was going on.

"So now I don't only have to bail out Jo's and Ellen's soul but my own, too?"

"Indeed…"

I had planned this cliffy for a very long time. I hope you're not too mad at me for leaving you hanging at this point. I'll try to upload the next chapter soon. That's all I can promise you though :(