Author's Note:

I'm terribly sorry guys. You see, I write stories for the other archives too and had a request that I hadn't completed so I felt guilty and completed the request which took me some time.

I'm still very sorry, because I have no right to say anything.

I'd like to remind you guys again, I haven't read the second series and so on of 39 clues, which is why the characters may seem a little OOC which I can't help.

Anyway, it looks like our story is going to near the end very soon if I'm regular in updating(Again, I'm truly very sorry!)

On with the story!

Enjoy!

Chapter 11

He shouldn't have given in. He shouldn't have let it continue because this would only come to confuse him later. This would only tangle his already stretched nerves. This would only blind him to the anger he felt for her. But like the many times before, Ian was weak.

As soon as their lips touched, he lost all ability to think. He lost his ability to rationalize. With her slender body pressed warmly against his, with her hands fisted at his chest, and with her lips moving passionately against his own, Ian could do nothing but give himself in to her. In a second flat, he couldn't remember why he was so livid or why he wanted to push her away with such desperation.

Instead, he fisted his hand roughly within her silky hair and pulled her tight against him. Amy gasped, parting her lips as he delved further into her mouth.

A delicious shiver travelled down her spine, setting every part of her body ablaze. Her every heartbeat, her every thought, and every zing of pleasure that pulsed through her body were all about him. Amy had no idea what she was thinking when she pulled him down. In fact, she was sure she wasn't thinking at all. But the smell of his skin and the intensity of his eyes robbed her of her focus. She kissed him on impulse.

But when he responded, when he pushed his leg between her own, and when he deepened the kiss with a ferocity that stole her breath away, Amy could barely hold herself together. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. She felt so out of control, but her hands gripped his shirt with confidence and held onto him as if he was going to disappear.

A groan rumbled up his throat when she moved her hands to his neck and dragged her fingers over his heated skin and then through his tousled hair. Her every touch lit him on fire. The taste of her, the velvety feel of her lips, and the sounds she made as he pressed her into the floor fuelled the desire he had felt for this woman from the minute he laid his eyes on her. With her so close, how could he ever deny her? With her so warm and sweet, how could he ever push her away? With her so passionate, how could he ever reject the feelings that flooded through his veins?

It was only when the physical need for air surfaced that they leaned away from each other, their breaths heavy and quick. She stared up at him with glossy eyes that seemed to stare straight into his soul. But as the seconds ticked by, reality slowly trickled like ice through his frenzied thoughts. His fingers loosened in her hair and he began to lift himself off when she suddenly placed a hand against his cheek.

Ian held himself back from leaning into her touch. Just the movement of her chest rising up and down against his own was already muddling his thoughts. Any closer and he was sure he was going to throw his resolve out the window and embrace the torturous want of continuing what she started.

Was this her way of confusing him further? Was this her way of making it up to him? Was this another calculated move?

Amy must have noticed the direction of his thoughts because she suddenly opened her mouth and murmured, "I know I have no right to ask you after everything I've done and I know that these words are far too late, but please give me a chance. Please let me explain and afterwards, I swear I won't stop you from leaving. But please, please listen to me."

She could barely take in a breath as she saw his eyes flicker with uncertainty. Blood roared in her ears and her heart was beating so fast it was hard to discern from one heartbeat to the next. But she didn't look away. Amy waited for his response, praying that he will give her a chance, praying that she still had time before he walked away from her for good.

Ian didn't say a word. He didn't nod. He didn't even shake his head, but his silence said more than enough.

Feeling a breath of relief escape her lips, Amy felt her body relax against the floor, not realizing just how tense she was. But at the slight movement of her shoulder, she suddenly saw him wince. Amy turned her head to the side and saw his bloodied hand splayed against the cold tile.

"It's fine," he bit out as the pain sharpened.

"You're still bleeding!" She gently but firmly pushed him to a sitting position and held his injured hand between both of hers. "Do you have a first aid kit?"

He nodded to the top of the fridge.

Rising to her feet, Amy stood upon her tip toes and grabbed the white plastic box from off the shelf. She placed it onto the counter and got out a roll of bandages, ointment, a towel, and disinfectant. Ignoring his silent protest as she pulled him beside her, she gripped his hand in an unyielding grasp and began to wipe the blood from his fingers and knuckles.

Ian stood still and looked down at her concentrated expression. Her need to care for others was still intact even after all this time. The way her eyebrows were furrowed with concern, the hard set of her mouth, and the steady movement of her hands made it hard to for him to restore the cold distance. When she treated him with such tenderness, he could only remember the many reasons why he loved her, why she drove him insane, why out of all people in this world, she was the only one who could move him like no other.

But his trip down memory lane was short-lived when she suddenly whispered,

"If he told you I was affected by his confession, that's true." Amy looked up into his hardened eyes and felt her heart quiver. "If he told you he affected my choice to leave, that's true. But if he told you I left because I loved him, that's a lie."

Unrolling the cotton bandage, she wrapped the linen around the gash, paying careful attention not to apply too much pressure. She tried to keep herself calm, but the shaking of her knees was making it hard to focus. Amy had never felt so afraid.

But she could feel his eyes boring into the back of her head. The question that had kept them apart all these years settled into the air around them.

Then why did you leave?

"That night in your car was the happiest memory I've held onto all these years. It's what made staying in New York endurable because deep within my heart, I never wanted to leave. But I couldn't risk you. You were the only good thing that happened in my life, Ian."

Keeping her eyes on his hand that began to blur, Amy whispered, "When you told me you loved me, I stayed silent not because I had nothing to say, but because I had too much to say. Too overcome with emotion and too stunned that everything was finally going my way left me speechless. It was the happiest I felt in the longest time."

"But I failed to realize that Jake was probably out there, and he came back that night. And that's when I realized that I wasn't strong enough."

Tears pooled at the corner of her eyes until the colours melted together. Amy bit down on the ache that rippled through her body as she tried to slow her breathing. She couldn't stop now. She couldn't clam up now. Instinctively gripping his hand tighter, she squeezed her eyes shut and said, "But no matter how cruel he was, a part of me still wanted him, a part of me still loved him. I was so disgusted with how I reacted when he confessed. I was moved and for a split second, I was even happy. To realize that after all of these years I was still the same stupid girl from the past depressed me like no other."

"But the worst part of all was realizing how unfair I was to you," she admitted as the tears dripped onto her knuckles. "How could I say that I love you when I was a coward running away when I was asked to? How can I continue to pretend I was protecting you when all I was doing was blindly leading you to your death."?

"I couldn't tell you I love you, not like that. I didn't want to lie to you, but I knew that if you realized how weak I was…"

She breathed in sharply and shook her head. "When he tried to burn me saying how he used me all along, it was the worst moment of my life. I felt defeated—useless. But with you, with you it would be different. If you were to walk away from me, if you were to turn your back on me..." Her heart stuttered. "I wouldn't know how to get back up again."

"So unable to face my cowardice and unable to come clean, I chose to follow his command. It didn't matter that you would live hating me, for my purely selfish act. It didn't matter that you would never want to talk to me until I was assured that you are safe."

Her shoulders slumped. "The pain of missing you, however," she continued in a soft whisper, "was stronger than I anticipated. There were nights when I would wake up crying and nights when I didn't feel anything it at all, just empty and hollow. As days passed, regret was suddenly common."

"I had no right to miss you. I had no right to continue loving you, but at the same time I also had no right to lie to you. After everything you've done for me, after how honest you were with me, I had no right to hurt you the way I did. I can never tell you how sorry I am, how I wished that I could go back and change my decision. But at least now, you'll know for certain why I don't deserve you and why I'm not someone worth loving."

She waited to for him to wrench his hand away from her weak grasp, for him to walk out without another look back. Amy hardened her heart for the pain that would follow. She prepared to be broken, to fall apart until there was nothing left. It was nothing less than what she deserved.

"Do you still feel like you need to protect me?"

Amy slowly raised her eyes to his. He didn't look angry or gentle, only distant, as if the words she said had no effect at all. But she shook her head just the same.

"Why?"

"Because he promised me that he'd leave you once I leave the city. And he isn't the one I have been thinking these past two years."

"And what did you think of?"

Her eyes watered as a weak smile curved at her lips. "If you were healthy, if you were eating properly, if you were taking the necessary breaks between sets like you should, if you remembered that buying food from the vending machine was still bad for you, if you were sleeping well, if you had finally moved on, if you had forgotten all the bad I've done to you."

Ian stepped forward and looked down into her eyes. "I am healthy," he replied in a low voice. "I cook when I can, I don't take all the breaks I should, I still snack from the vending machine, nights are usually sleepless, and I haven't forgotten a thing."

Amy's heart suddenly froze when he touched her wet cheek.

"But that doesn't mean I'm over you," he murmured as he ran a thumb over her frozen lips. "That doesn't mean I haven't thought about you, missed you, wanted you."

She shook her head back and forth, refusing to believe the words that left his lips. This was a dream. A lie. This wasn't real. None of this was real.

But when he pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, Amy felt her heart tighten within her chest as he whispered, "I know how big of an impact he had on your life. I know how much you loved him and I know that you weren't completely over him. I knew all of that, but I fell in love with you anyway."

The tears streamed down her cheeks as she felt the knot in her throat thicken.

"Although I hated the role he had in your life, that didn't change the way I felt. I was in love with you and I was determined to have a bigger role because I cared about you more than he ever did. And even though you leaving hurt me in ways I could never explain, what hurts more is the lack of faith you had in me. Were my words that frail to you? Did they mean so little? Weren't we partners in every situation?"

"No," she insisted, stepping closer as he stared into her anxious gaze. "It's not that! I just…" Amy stopped and looked down at her feet. She didn't want to voice her fear. Love had already failed her once; who was to say it wouldn't fail her again?

Suddenly, he placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face. "Am I weak?" he asked softly.

She shook her head.

"Do you think I'll die without a fight?"

Her tears welled. "No."

"Then what are you afraid of?"

"Losing you."

His gaze softened as he gently dipped her head back. "You're not," he whispered. Then with a tenderness she had missed for so long, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Driven by understanding and riddled with compassion, his kiss flooded her senses with a relief that brought her to her knees. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her up against his chest. To feel him hold her with such care and possessiveness made her heart pound like a drum.

And when he leaned back a fraction of an inch, he murmured against her lips, "I love you, Amy, and I always will."

She let out a tearful smile and wrapped her arms around his neck. Feeling lighter than she had ever felt before, Amy breathed in deeply and whispered, "I love you, Ian."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Again," he demanded in a soft voice as he lifted her figure into his arms.

"I lo—"

But he had already silenced her with another searing kiss as he slowly carried her up the stairs.

xxx

"Ugh what is it that you come here prancing in my apartment early in the morning, Natalie?" Dan asked sleepily, rubbing his eye.

Normally, Natalie would have made a disgusting face, and laughed at his grumpy state. But she was even more disastrously appearing than him.

"Is Amy home?" she asked impatiently.

"No."

"Since when?'

"Since yesterday."

"Did she tell you where she went?" Natalie's panic was increasing by the second.

"Yes, she went somewhere with Ian." he yawned, still annoyed that he was woken up by a three-inch shorter woman

"OH MY GOD! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IAN IS CAPABLE OF! HE MIGHT BREAK THE INNOCENT GIRL WITH HIS ANGER!" she yelled directly in his ear which froze every nerve in Dan's body.

"Tone down your voice, Natalie. How can you tell he was angry?"

"HE WAS FUMING THE NIGHT OF THE PARTY."

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe whilst crossing his leg over another.

"And how big is his anger you say?"

"BIGGER THAN YOU THINK!"

"Aren't you being a little over dramatic?"

"AREN'T YOU BEING A LITTLE UNDER DRAMATIC?!"

"Is Mr. Kabra that scary?"

"HE'S TERRIFYING! HIS WORDS ARE AS SHARP AS KNIVES! HIS COLDNESS CAN FREEZE EVEN THE WARMEST OF HEARTS! AND HE CAN MAKE PEOPLE CRY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!"

"Sounds horrible." Dan agreed.

"It is!"

"And what did you say about him holding grudges?"

"He'd never forget it till he dies!"

"And does he get mad easily?"

"TOO EASILY." Natalie was getting impatient now.

Dan started to smirk, "If so, then I'd advise you to lower your voice."

Natalie sported a confused look, then turned in the direction of Dan's finger which was pointed behind her shoulder.

There, standing hand in hand were the couple Natalie and Dan were trying to get together, with Amy stifling a laugh and Ian scowling.

"Go on, Natalie." he muttered, increasing the blood pressure of Natalie, "Tell them how much of a monster I am."

Author's Note:

Thank you for reviewing,

iheartNYcity: Well, I did make Jake twist the incident around a little. But I'm glad you're liking the story so far. I love you too! Thank you and take care!

Farjana: Really? Does it compensate for this chapter? Just kidding, I know it doesn't (sorry for that!). Ian was quite blinded by her, he may have been focused about everything else in his life, but Amy was his weak point.

MademoiselleEtincelle: Again, I'm sorry I haven't really read the further series and have just created what I could find fit for the story.

KingGuest: Really? I didn't think so since this is my first Amian multichapter. It makes me smile that I haven't exactly strayed, I have that weak point of straying and writing a few things assuming that all readers would get what's going on in my tiny mind.

kukylovey: Hope you liked the chapter.

Thank you everyone for reading my story, it means a lot to me.