A/N: Huge thanks to Suze (2looney), Jess (jlz), Kels (sassy26) and Nikki for all your input and edits, this chapter would be nothing without you ladies. Also a big thanks to all of you have waited a long time for this update, your patience is amazing. Thank you!
Puck and Rachel meet Quinn, Artie and the twins late Sunday morning at the diner for brunch. There's a noticeable difference in the way they interact; she watches as Puck gently wipes a crumb off Rachel's cheek with the pad of his thumb and Rachel ducks her head shyly, reaching for her cup of coffee. It takes no time at all for Quinn to pick up on the fact that they are still totally hot for each other, and quite frankly they're not really hiding it. She hopes they finally got their act together and had a real conversation last night.
There's no heavy conversation that morning, just four friends catching up; Rachel is eating up the stories of the boys' last two years and Quinn can see Puck trying to contain his smile. They're her best friends and Quinn wants to see them both happy again, she knows she's never seen them as happy as when they're together. It's been like that since their sophomore year of high school when they got together for the first time. No one, not even the two of them had seen it then, but they were the best thing that had ever happened to each other and Quinn hoped for the best.
By the end of their meal she's almost forgotten the past two years even happened to them, they are talking, smiling, laughing, and truthfully they look at one another like they make each other's day. She thinks they probably do. It seems more intense than it had been before Rachel's attack; and Quinn kind of understands that. You either come out of something like that stronger than before or you don't at all. And although for a while it seemed like they weren't going to make it, Quinn has her doubts that they can stay apart for very long.
When they've said their goodbyes and settled into the van Quinn watches as Rachel slides in next to Puck, leaning her head against his side as he wraps his arm around her shoulder and she just knows that they'll make it.
"You know, I'm going to miss them," Rachel says once they're in the car and pulling out of the parking lot. He doesn't know whether she means Quinn and Artie, or the twins, or maybe all of them. But it gives him hope, because she's finally getting her life back together, missing her friends and enjoying spending time with kids. All without getting that far away look in her eye he'd been seeing ever since that night almost two years ago, the one that meant she was reliving some part of the terrifying ordeal.
"We'll see them again soon," he answers back, seeing that's a safe enough bet. She just nods as a small smile tugs at her lips.
She knows she should be panicking, completely freaking out over his use of the word we. It's what she would have been doing last week. She hasn't been a part of a 'we' since she left New York after the attack. But that sense of calm and security she had once felt whenever Noah was next to her was returning. She wasn't deluding herself into believing things were perfect, or that things between them would ever be the way they were before, but just maybe, if they could make it through this together, everything would work out. The thought that their relationship could end up stronger than ever brings a smile to her face.
She's been smiling ever since they got in the car, so Puck knows the moment something is wrong. They're walking down the produce aisle in the only decent grocery store in this area of Lima when the smile drops from her face in an instant. When he follows her gaze he sees her fathers heading down the aisle towards them looking ecstatic, beaming at the two of them like they were the best thing they'd seen in years. He's not quite sure what the story is between Rachel and her dads Ben and Greg, but from the look on her face he has a feeling the relationship between fathers and daughter is strained.
"Noah, how great to see you! And with our Rachel," Ben says holding out his hand, which Puck shakes tentatively before moving on to shake Greg's' hand.
Rachel is clenching her jaw and her cheeks are turning this adorable shade of pink they get when she's mad. He's worried about her, and although he's still confused by what's going on he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her a little closer. She relaxes only slightly into his embrace, still shooting fire out of her eyes at her fathers, who have yet to really acknowledge her.
It's when Greg looks at him and asks "So did my daughter finally come to her senses and apologize to you for her childish actions?" that he starts to get it.
Rachel has become incredibly interested in selecting tomatoes and Puck wonders how hard she's fighting to keep her anger in check and not just toss the tomatoes at her fathers. Look, Puck knows that the Berry's love their daughter but he remembers back to high school, when they were best friends and he knows that they always taught her to be strong and confident and to face her problems head on. The Rachel he knows is strong and confident and that hasn't changed since the attack. Given all she's been through it's understandable that she's shown some weakness. And if anyone should understand that, he would think it would be Greg and Ben, however that is clearly not the case.
"With all due respect sir, Rachel has absolutely nothing to apologize to me for. If anything I should be the one apologizing to her. "
Ben is shaking his head, Greg has a look of disapproval on his face and Rachel is gripping a green pepper so hard he's sure it's going to fall apart.
"You don't have anything to apologize for Noah," Ben answers back. He doesn't know what he's talking about, but whatever, he wasn't there, he couldn't know.
He gently grabs Rachel's elbow with the intention of walking away, which only proves to gain her attention just in time for Greg to say, "We raised Rachel better than to run away from her problems."
He's had about enough of this crap, he understands completely now why Rachel's mood worsened rapidly the moment she saw her fathers. And if he weren't so sure that she still loved them he'd punch Greg in the face, seriously.
Rachel turns to walk out of the store but he stops her, pulling her in close to his side so she hears what he has to say, because this is as much for her as it is for her fathers.
"Greg, Ben," he started, looking at each man in turn, "you can't even begin to imagine what Rachel has been through. You did raise a strong and confident woman and that was stolen from her. So don't you dare judge her for her actions, because leaving New York was the best thing she could have done for herself, and frankly, for us." He'd meant to give this little speech as calmly as possible, but his anger was rising with each word and it reflected in his tone of voice when he continued, "And what apologies are or aren't said will stay between Rachel and I, so keep out of our fucking business."
Well that went exactly as planned, Puck thinks sarcastically as he guides Rachel away from her fathers and back towards the parking lot, leaving an irritated Ben and Greg staring after them.
When they get back to the car Rachel grabs the keys from his hands and walks around to the driver's side door. She slides in, adjusting the seat and mirrors with choppy movements as he warily slides into the seat next to her and watches out of the corner of his eye as she puts the keys in the ignition and starts the car before buckling her seatbelt. He's really starting to get nervous and he has a horrible flash of her peeling out of the parking lot at high speed and plowing the car into a light post. And really, she survived everything that's happened over the past 2 years, and he's just gotten her back in his life, he's not ready to lose her like that. Much to his surprise though she puts the car in drive and calmly pulls out of the parking lot and turns toward home. He thinks he gets it then, everything is spiraling out of control around her and she needs, even if only for a few minutes, to feel like she's in control.
She's sitting at the table in the kitchen an hour later with a cup of tea he made sitting in front of her, her hands wrapped around the mug as she processes everything that just happened.
"Thank you" she whispers finally, so quietly she's not sure he heard her.
He's sitting across the table watching her with a worried expression on his face but when she whispers those words he shakes his head, and raises his hand to drag it over his face. She's just noticing how tired he looks; there are dark circles under his eyes and the cute crow's feet he always had at the corner of his eyes are more pronounced. And while she has to appreciate the extra muscle definition, a clear indicator he'd been spending a lot of time in the gym lately, the rest of it leaves a burning in her stomach. Because she's done all that, she left him behind because she was scared. Maybe her fathers were right.
She doesn't even realize she'd said that last part out loud until she hears him growl, "The hell they are."
She looks back up at him and he looks upset, actually he looks pissed. She knows her fathers love her even if they aren't showing it very well right now, and she knows, thanks to Noah's rant in the grocery store that he doesn't fault her for what she did and that he doesn't approve of how her fathers are treating her. It doesn't stop her from feeling guilty every time she looks at him and realizes she still loves him, probably more than she did two years earlier. She still knows she can't rush herself into things again, they can't pick up right where they left off, but she has a feeling he isn't going anywhere any time soon, so they have time to rebuild their life.
She gives him a small smile and he must have seen something in her gaze because his face softened and he leaned over the small table to place a gentle kiss to her lips. Her heart started to race and her breathing became shallow and she remembered she'd felt this way before, when she was a teenager and he was her best friend who would kiss her on occasion. As he leaned back to take his seat, she wraps her arm around his neck and drags him back towards her for a proper kiss. It doesn't last nearly long enough and does nothing to take away her need for him, but she chooses to believe it'll help them both after the day they've had.
By three o'clock on Monday Puck was exhausted. He and Reid had spent the day conducting interviews with the male students that Becky interacted with on a regular basis and had discovered nothing. He wanted nothing more than to go home and have a nice cold beer and sit in front of the television with Rachel. He wasn't sure exactly when he'd started thinking of Lima, of Rachel's house, as home but he knew it felt right. He figured that it wasn't the city that made it home, it was Rachel, and he'd go anywhere with her. Realizing this was the final push he needed to pick up the phone and call his boss back in New York City. It was time to transfer to the Lima PD.
"Last session you explained the letters you had been receiving back in New York. I know it will be difficult but I think you need to tell me everything about the attack that night two years ago. Just the facts about what happened; you'll never make progress until you get it all out in the open"
Rachel looked at Dr. Robbins with what she was sure was a horrified expression on her face.
"I thought we'd work through it a little bit at a time," she said quietly, tears threatening to spill over already.
"In the long run it will be more beneficial for you to tell me what happened that night all at once, that way I can understand your reactions and we can help you work through your emotional trauma from that night in future sessions. That emotional trauma is the reason you're here, and that's what we need to start working on," Dr. Robbins replied in a gentle voice, placing her hand softly on Rachel's knee, "Okay?"
She nodded slowly, taking a few deep breaths, and after a few moments of silence, Rachel began to talk.
"It was early September and I'd left the window in our room open, like I did almost every night during the summer. Noah had called to tell me he was running late at the precinct so I went to bed early. I had been so stressed because of the letters. I hadn't been sleeping and I was exhausted; I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow."
She woke with a start, the feel of a gag being pressed over her mouth creating instant panic. Thrashing around she let out a short yelp and she felt bindings at her wrists tighten as she moved. Groggy from sleep her reactions were slow, and her attacker managed to gag her properly before she could scream again. She heard him laugh while she attempted to struggle free; she still had her legs untied.
"Don't panic dear"
Rachel refused to let him get the best of her. She continued to struggle in his grasp, but soon he had grabbed her legs firmly and was tying up her ankles. She had managed to kick him in the nose, she could tell by the blood dripping onto her legs but he had the power and got the better of her, tying her completely to the bed. The panic truly set in then, she was basically a sitting duck. What did he want with her?
He began talking then; the familiarity of his voice coupled with the terrifying knowledge that she couldn't identify it had the fear she was trying so hard to pin down shoving at her hard-fought strength.
His words taunted her as he stood over her with the knife in his hand, the glint of the streetlights outside bouncing off the steel blade and making her blood run cold. He stood at the bottom of the bed, hidden in the dark of the shadows, repeating the phrases from letters she'd been receiving for 6 months. Proclaiming his love, his need to be with her. Rachel struggled in the bindings around her wrists and ankles. She could feel the ropes digging into her skin making it raw, but she couldn't just lie there and not fight back. He laughed and just kept talking repeating over and over again that she was his, how he longed for her and watched her perform, knowing he had to have her. It made her sick to think he had been watching her and she had never realized it.
He moved from the bottom of the bed then, but not close enough to enter into her line of sight. If only she could place his voice, not knowing who wanted to hurt her was scaring her the most.
"You know love; it wasn't very nice of you to turn me down every time I asked you out. We were always supposed to be together," he finally said, his voice barely a whisper in the room, but laced with a fury that had her heart clench in fear, as she gasped and bit down on the gag as she felt the sharp sting of a blade slice through her skin; recognition coursed through her as she felt the sticky warmth of her blood dripping down her side. Alec.
She'd met him her first day of classes at NYU, he'd been shy and quiet and ultimately had just given her the creeps. She'd only remained a student at NYU for a year and a half before landing her first role on Broadway and leaving school in order to pursue her career. Over the course of that year and a half Alec had repeatedly asked her out, but Rachel had turned him down, as gently as possible, each time. She'd never believed he'd had this in him, sure he'd given her the creeps; but he'd never actually struck her as a psychopath.
Preoccupied with her memories of Alec back at NYU she didn't see him lower the knife to her side once more; only the slicing pain and her muffled scream broke her out of her thoughts, refocusing her attention on how she was going to get free. She tugged her arms, trying to loosen the rope binding her to the bed, but only succeeded in making the rope dig into her skin even tighter.
He began humming the tune to Take Me or Leave Me from RENT, the musical she starred in as Maureen in her college's production, as he slowly cleaned the blade of the knife on a cloth he pulled from his pocket before lowering the blade to her side once more and slicing into her skin as she bit her lip to keep herself from showing any pain.
He slowly repeated the process two more times as he kept humming. Tears of pain welled up in her eyes she tried to keep her features still and her groaning to a minimum. She knew all she could control was her reaction. Focusing on controlling her emotions was the only way to survive. ,. When he stopped Alec walked up to the top of the bed, looking her in the eyes. His eyes were black, and wide with indescribable emotions.
"One for each time you rejected me, now I'm going to take you away from here, and every time you look in the mirror you'll remember that we are destined to be together baby," Alec whispered in a surprisingly strong voice.
Panic ripped through her at his words, she couldn't let him take her from the apartment, if he took her down through the back fire escape no one would see. Attempting to stall she began writhing on the bed and tugging on her bindings. She saw his eyes flash with anger and the blade of his knife swipe down dangerously close to her neck.
He didn't need to voice the threat, she understood perfectly that if she tried to resist she wouldn't survive. Calming herself down, she found comfort solely in the fact that Noah would realize something was terribly wrong when he got home from the precinct and she just had to stay alive long enough for him to find her.
Seeing she had submitted to his silent threat, he slowly began to untie her feet. When the bindings had been released he bent to pick up a rag off the floor where he had placed the extra rope, soaking it in what she assumed to be chloroform. She fought hard to control her panic, to keep a calm exterior in order to appease Alec.
Walking back towards her head he pulled the gag from her mouth and quickly covered her face with the chloroform soaked rag. She began to feel dizzy, her mind blurring; the last thing she remembers is hearing the front door to the apartment unlock and seeing Alec retreat quickly to the open window leading to the fire escape before she slips out of consciousness.