A/N: Here we go…

Thank you to Kimmydonn and nicnicd for the care and thought that is put into betaing this story.

Disclaimer: Anything remotely resembling Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Any of the stories within, belong to me. Please do not copy or translate without permission.

Land In My Arms

Chapter 11

EPOV

At the Cabin

I woke slowly the next morning to a quiet house, my back aching from falling asleep on the floor. Opening my eyes the tiniest bit to check the time, the brightness of the room instantly forced them shut; I groaned and rolled over to bury my face in the comforter we'd pulled down from the bed the night before.

The chill of the room told me the fire had probably died down overnight. I burrowed down deeper into the comforter for warmth, and then wondered if Bella was cold, too. I rolled over to wrap myself around her, figuring that if the comforter hadn't kept her warm, I certainly could...

...In more than ways than one.

My hand met the cool carpet instead.

A frown creased my forehead and I opened my eyes a miniscule amount, resisting the light creeping in from the windows.

Bella wasn't there.

I rolled back and propped up on my elbows, listening for any movement in the house. It was quiet though, the only noise the faint hum of the heating unit in the hall closet. No sounds from the bathroom or anywhere close. Maybe she's already downstairs...

I slowly sat up, groaning because my body wasn't twenty anymore and needed more recovery time after a night like last night. Last night...

I was by no means a monk, but my relationship experiences were easily counted on one hand. My first experience in getting off without Rosy Palm and her five sisters was with my high school girlfriend, a relationship that had actually lasted through the first part of my twenties. I loved the girl, probably always would simply because I'd grown up with her, but I wasn't in love with her.

I had thought about marrying her when we were young and I was heading to the academy. But I wanted to go to flight school with a career path in the military and eventually have a family. Tanya wanted a career in the airlines. We would have been apart way too much for it to work. She would never have been content staying at home as an Officer's wife at that point in our lives. She might have thought so, but I knew her well enough that she couldn't have done it for long. She was destined to see the world.

In the end, I couldn't see myself ever traveling that path with her. My feelings for her had changed, as I'd gone out into the world on my own, to something resembling friendship—in short, there was no spark between us anymore.

Bella, though...she was something different—exciting and sweet and feisty and beautiful. Her sense of humor fit well with mine, she understood the difficulties of the airline business, and appreciated small gestures like bringing her soup when she felt bad just so I could see her—rather than expecting them. She kept me on my toes, constantly leaving me to wonder what she really wanted from me. Was it as easy for her as it had been for me at first, or had her feelings begun to develop like mine had?

It had seemed like they had, though. The weekend in Texas, though I was in a funk, had solidified it for me. I was done trying to deny what I wanted with her. I wasn't sure if she felt the same, but I was ready to put it all out there and find out. She was here for the weekend, the first one we'd been able to spend together in entirely too long. I wasn't about to waste any of the time I had with her. No more of this 'just a friend' bull—I wanted it to develop, to see where it could go.

I threw off the cover and looked around for something to put on. Absentmindedly, I noticed Bella hadn't gotten around to bringing her bags up last night, so I made a mental note to do it for her. I stumbled into a pair of jeans and threw an Air Force sweatshirt on and stepped into the hall.

Lazily, I ambled down the stairs and headed for the kitchen first, figuring she might be having a cup of coffee and studying. My feet hit the tile and the cold shock made me regret not throwing on socks, too.

I peered around the silent kitchen and called her name, but she wasn't there.

Next I checked the window seat she liked so much, which was another no-go. I walked through to the living room to where the hall and foyer met, sweeping my gaze around for her bags. Nothing—no coat, no boots, no bag; a peek out of the door showed that the Jeep was gone. There were two snow dusted sets of tracks—one old, one new.

"...the fuck?"

Unsure what the hell was going on (and not entirely sure my mind was functioning on a rational level yet), I walked back into the kitchen and stood there for a few moments. There wasn't any coffee brewed, no sign that she'd even been here, though I knew for sure she had. The aches in my muscles were proof positive of that. My phone lay forgotten on the counter; I grabbed it and dialed her.

"Hey, Bella. Uh, I woke up and you weren't ... Yeah, call me."

The best guess I could come up with was that she'd gone to town in the Jeep earlier this morning, though I didn't know why. I'd taken care of everything before she got here, hitting the grocery store on my way from the airport.

Shrugging off the weirdness settling over me, I walked over to the woodstove and pulled open the door to stir the coals around. The cabin seemed chilly this morning, hardly any embers from the night before warming the grate. I threw a few logs in and stoked the small fire until it was roaring again.

Resting my hands on the wooden mantle and locking my arms, I tried to stretch the tension out of my back muscles. Sleeping on a floor, no matter how I'd ended up there, was a stupid idea. But I was so tired last night, body worn out from trying to act like a twenty year old again. And, well, with Bella cuddled into me all naked and warm I hadn't cared about much else.

After fifteen minutes with no response from Bella, I started to get worried. She shouldn't be driving around in this snow when she wasn't used to it. If anything happened to her...

No, no way, man. Don't even think like that. She's fine.

Telling myself she must have her phone on silent, I walked back to the kitchen and started the coffee to clear my head some. I looked at my phone again.

While I waited for the coffee to brew, I looked around the counter for a note. Nothing. The picture of Bella and I sitting down on the dock by the lake from the Fourth was stuck to the refrigerator. I slid it out from under the magnet to take a closer look.

We had raised our drinks to the camera phone I was holding, heads together and huge grins on our faces. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It warmed me for a brief moment, remembering that weekend with her, here. It was the weekend my feelings for her had started to change, the point where I became aware that it was more.

She's so beautiful.

There was something about Bella's smile that drew me in completely. It was so warm and honest, one on the first things about her that had attracted my attention. It had been before the flight to Hawaii, as I was boarding the plane with the Flight Crew. She was talking to a passenger right before her little mishap. I'd wanted her to smile at me like that, too.

I'd tried to fight it, I really had. My life was so crazy that I didn't want to make someone wait on me and my career, but with Bella I felt it would be okay. Of course, my getting to that point was an uphill battle in my head, but I was there now...and ready to tell her.

I picked up my phone again and texted her.

Call me

When another half an hour had gone by with no word from her, I started to get a little aggravated. Why the hell would she just take off like that, without a word no less, in a place she didn't know very well? I didn't want her to think I was an overprotective asshole, because she was a grown woman, but I also didn't want her to get hurt.

Once I had a few of cups of coffee in me, I could no longer deny that something was wrong. Fuck. Too much time had passed and I wasn't getting a good feeling about this at all. No bags, no belongings, the Jeep was gone and I'd been awake for well over an hour and a half.

I picked up my cell again, leaving her another message when her line went straight to voicemail. I was pressing end when another idea popped into my head. I scrolled my call log and pressed send.

"Ops. This is Garrett."

"Hey, it's Edward."

"Hey man, what's up. Aren't you off this weekend?"

"Yeah. Quick question—did Bella make it onto an early flight today?"

"Actually she did. She was on the 6:00 A.M. to Seattle this morning. I saw her and waved but didn't get to talk to her. Why? What's up?"

I was attempting to be discreet regarding my own lack of knowledge, but it felt like someone had sucked the air right out of my lungs. She left. Before I could even talk to her and tell her all the things I'd planned to say, she just up and took off without even a word. What the hell was going on? My fingers tightened on the edge of the counter, knuckles white and stiff.

I took a deep breath. "She took off early today, just wanted to see if she made it.."

"You heading out today, too?"

"Not sure yet, but I'll for sure see you in the next day or so."

"Cool. Talk to ya later."

"Later."

I snapped my phone closed again and tossed it on the counter, watching it skitter to the other side.
Was last night a fucking dream? No, definitely not. I wouldn't willingly sleep on a damn floor if she wasn't next to me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the hell happened.

Just then my cell phone rang. I leaned across the counter to grab it and looked at the display.

Tanya.

I couldn't deal with that right now. I placed the phone back onto the counter and picked up my coffee.

The next couple of hours I paced. I called. I texted. I'd pick up my guitar only to put it back down again. She wasn't returning my calls. I was extremely confused and even more pissed off.

I'd been waiting months to tell this girl how I felt about her, and finally we had a weekend that worked for both of us. There was a plan in my mind, everything I wanted to say all worked out. Last night was just the icing on the cake—it had been the singular most amazing night that I had ever had. I'd try to say with actions what I couldn't with words and thought she was right there with me, and now she was gone.

At a loss, I dialed the one person I hoped would have spoken to her.

"Dude, how's it hangin'?"

"Em. Are you with Rose right now?"

He chuckled. "And 'good morning' to you too, asshat."

"I'm being serious here. I need to talk to your girl. She there?"

"She's not here; took off on a trip this morning, actually. What's up, Ed? You sound wired."

Fuck."Damnit. Okay, look. Bella came up to Anchorage last night to spend the weekend and now she's gone. She took off this morning—with no word."

Emmett sighed. "What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, asshole. I don't know what's going on. She was here and we were together…"

"Thinking with 'little E' again?"

"I don't have time for jokes, man."

"Damn Cullen, calm down. I'll give Rose a call. If she knows anything I'll tell her to call you, cool?"

"All right, yeah. Cool. I'd appreciate it."

With nothing else to do but wait, I walked back into the living room, flopped down on the couch, and threw my arm over my eyes. I tried to clear my head a bit, think rationally, but all it ended up doing was confusing me even more. I really had no idea if it was something I'd said or did, or just a whim of Bella's to be done with me.

The ringing of the cell phone brought me out of my stress induced fog.

"What did you do?"

I sighed and readied myself for the onslaught. "Hi, Rose. Honestly, I don't know. She came up here last night, I, uh...I thought we had... a great evening, and when I woke up this morning she was gone."

"Gone? Just like that? She didn't leave you a note? Or a message?

"No. Nothing. It isn't like her to just flake out."

"I agree. This isn't like her at all. Did you do anything to make her mad?"

I sighed, fighting the instinct to tell her to mind her own business. I was asking her for help. "I swear that I'm at a complete loss right now. There was nothing to warn me she wasn't staying."

"Did she fly out anywhere?"

"I called one of my buddies at Ops, said he saw her hop a flight to Seattle this morning..."

"I'll see if I can track her down. Look, Edward. I don't know what the story is, but I swear to God that if I find out you effed up, we're gonna have some words. You'd better hope she's okay."

"I'm really trying hard not to get mad here, Rose. I didn't do anything, all right? I wanted to have a nice weekend with her because I haven't spent any time with her in far too long. She just...left."

She paused for a moment. Her tone was softer when she spoke again, and I hoped my words had sunk in. "I'll let you know if I hear from her."

"Thank you."

I hung up the phone and grabbed my guitar again, strumming the chords absently while I tried to figure out what was up. I wasn't any closer to figuring out what had happened than I was three hours ago.

Time seemed to be moving too slow. I didn't have to be back to work until Tuesday; after that I was supposed to head to Aspen to meet Tanya. I could have taken care of putting that part of my life to rest sooner if she would have just agreed on meeting me in Denver. But, according to her, it had to be Aspen.

I tried Bella's apartment eventually, thinking that enough time had passed if she was going back to LA. No answer. Trying to follow her now would be useless: I had absolutely no idea where she was at the moment.

Frustrated beyond words and resolving to not just sit there doing nothing, I bundled up and went out back to the wood shed to chop up some firewood. While I swung the axe I went over every detail of last night: her body beneath mine, the way she looked at me, how amazing she felt. I'd gotten lost in her eyes when she moved over the top of me and felt connected to her in a way I couldn't describe, it was honest and raw and the most at ease I'd ever felt with anyone.

I thought we had a pretty easy relationship, one where we could talk to each other about anything, but maybe I was wrong. Whatever made her leave before we had a chance to have a conversation must have been something she didn't feel like she could talk to me about.

Truthfully, if I hadn't been so ready to jump her, we could have had the chance to talk... I couldn't help myself, though. An amazingly incredible woman offering herself to me overruled words every time, hands down.

Chopping didn't take as long as I was initially hoping, but forty-five minutes and a full cord of wood later, I headed back to the house feeling like some of my frustration had been taken out. After grabbing a glass of water, I took a look at my phone. Three missed calls: Tanya. Tanya. Emmett.

There was no getting around it. Emmett's call was the most important, but I'd feel a hell of a lot better if I handled the other first. It was time to do something that wouldn't be pleasant, but couldn't be avoided any longer.

" Babe! Hi! How come you haven't returned my calls? I've been so worried..."

"Tanya, I—"

"...where are you? I'm so excited for next weekend! I had to make an appointment with my hairdresser early in the week so I could..."

"Tanya."

"...make sure I get my dry cleaning and pack for the weekend..."

"Tanya!"

"What? God, Edward, you've been so edgy lately. You really need this weekend with me; it's been way too long since we've had any time alone. I've missed you so much..."

Talking to Tanya was always like this anymore. She was a great person, truly she was, but it was like a freight train barreling toward you. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

"Tanya. I'm not coming to Aspen this weekend. I wanted to talk to you but something important has come up. I won't be able to make it."

That got her attention. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not coming to Aspen next weekend."

"But Edward, I've made reservations and everything is arranged, even the photographer."

"What photographer? Tan, what are you talking about?"

"Silly. For our engagement announcement, of course."

I couldn't believe my ears. "What?"

"Well, I know how busy you are so...I just wanted to get the ball rolling. We can talk about plans next weekend."

"Please, hold up here. I never said anything about an engagement."

"What do you mean?" she said, finally slowing down her excited tone. .

"I know our moms pretty much schemed on that idea from the time we were babies, but I thought we'd already talked about this. We don't want the same things, Tan. It wouldn't work between us.

I scrubbed my hand over my face. After her mom passed away, Tanya had clung to the dream life that would have made her mom happy. The Colonel was different in that aspect, more wanting whatever would make his daughter happy than what Carol would have wanted. I knew he just wanted her to be safe and fulfilled in whatever she chose to do.

When I realized that things between us would never work, I'd told her so. I'd told her before Bella and I had started hanging out that I didn't think we were meant to be. At the time I thought she felt the same way, but now it was obvious that she hadn't taken me seriously.

"But this has always been the plan. What about us?"

I hated to have this conversation, simply because hurting her wasn't something I ever wanted to do. "Tanya," I said, softening my tone. "There is no 'us'. There hasn't been an 'us' for a really long time."

She was quiet on the other end of the line. She sniffled and I felt bad because I didn't want her to be torn up... I was having a bad day all the way around.

"I just don't see it that way, Edward. You've just been busy with your career and I've been here waiting until you were ready."

Sure, we saw each other more often than most exes did, often thrown together for functions as dates because we knew each other so well. It probably didn't help that we fell back together every so often until something took one of us away. It hit me now that it had only really been out of convenience for me, but that maybe I had mislead her along the way by allowing it. But, still, it had been quite a while since our last 'big talk'...

"You thought I changed my mind," I said, realizing the problem. "Even after everything we talked about last year?"

"Well, yes. This is the way that things were meant to be. I just thought you needed time, so I gave it to you."

Now I felt like a jerk. "But we haven't spent any extended period of time together for over a year. Last time we talked, I explained that I was pretty tied down to work and the reserves. All of this talk about an engagement is kind of a shock to me. What gave you the idea that I wanted to get married?"

"Well, when we together at the gala, you looked so happy...I... I thought it was because we were together in the same room again. I talked to your mother that night and she said she thought you were thinking about getting serious with someone, and I assumed ..."

"Tan, we weren't even together that night."

"I thought you left early because you were tired."

I put my head down on the counter. "I'm sorry you misunderstood and I'm sorry this has happened over the phone," I paused. "I really wanted to be able to talk to you in person this weekend. I felt I owed you that much."

"But, I have everything arranged."

"It's not happening. When we talked about all of this last year, I tried to be clear with you. I'm truly sorry if you thought it was something different. I didn't mean to play with your feelings. My intention was to make sure we'd remain friends after knowing each other for so long."

She was quiet for a moment. "I don't know what to say."

"I don't either. I do need to know something, though. Who did you tell?"

"Well, I really only told a couple of people on my trip last week. I don't understand why you would think it's a big deal...Oh. Oh! There's someone else isn't there?"

I sighed. Shit.

"Who is she?"

Not wanting to argue with her or drag Bella into this, I sat there for a minute. Finally, "I don't want to do this now."

"I need to know."

"Please, Tan, let's just leave it, okay? I'm sorry."

She hung up.

Now I felt like a complete asshole. I walked to the fridge to grab a beer. After twisting off the top, I took a long pull and felt every ounce move down my throat. I was sorry, but it had been dragged out for too long and that was partially my fault. Still, I hated to hurt her when we'd known each other for so long.

I moved back into the living room to stare out the window, my mind wandering back to Bella and where she was at this moment.

"Well, I really only told a couple of people on my trip last week..."

I wracked my brain for the details of Tanya's last trip that she had given me when we'd planned to meet up next weekend. Chicago? No, that wasn't it. New York?

New York.

"God damnit."

That had to be it. If Tanya and Bella were on the same crew together, then I had my answer. Great. I'd set up this entire weekend to tell the girl exactly how I feel about her and now everything was fucked.

I'm fucked.

My phone rang again. Emmett. I didn't feel like getting into it with the meathead right now. I'd call him later.

It rang again. Shit.

"Yeah?"

"Did you tell her about Tanya?"

"Obviously not, dipshit. Apparently, that's why she's gone."

"What do you mean?"

"Tanya thought the meet up was about getting engaged, and she announced it on her trip."

Emmett let out a low whistle. "So lemme guess, Bella must have been on the same flight, right? She overheard this so-called announcement."

"I don't know for sure but I'm gonna assume so. She won't return any of my calls."

"You might have avoided all of this bullshit if you had come clean in the beginning—like I told you to."

"There was nothing to 'come clean' about. I haven't been with Tanya in over a year and I haven't seen her since April. And that was casually at a mutual, public function."

"Dude. Look, you and Tanya have a history, of which Bella knows nothing about. I saw the way that girl looked at you in Texas, and I told you then that you better not be playing around with her head. When it's casual it's one thing, but not when she's obviously into you. I told you, man. I fucking told you. Imagine overhearing that shit. She probably thinks she was some sort of side dish."

"It shouldn't matter. I'm not with Tanya."

"When you have that long of history with someone, it does matter. Tanya obviously felt things were still a 'go'. Your timing of things sucks. If you would have told Bella everything to begin with, there would only be one wounded heart, not three."

"You're telling me."

Destination: Colorado Springs

The next couple of days were screwed. The weather was crappy and the flights were full so I had a hard time getting out of Anchorage on stand-by. I spent a lot of time thinking: Tanya was my past and I wanted Bella to be my future. Now, I had to make it so.

On Monday, I finally caught a flight to Salt Lake City in transit back to Colorado Springs. I was walking from the 'C' concourse over to the 'D' concourse when I saw Sam. I ran the short distance to catch up with him.

"Sam! Hey, Sam."

He stopped and turned, cocking his head. "Well, well, well. Officer Duplicitous, what a surprise."

That snarkily delivered line gave me all the information I needed—he knew something as well. Ignoring it because I knew how close he and Bella were, as well as not wanting to get into it in the airport, I asked if he'd spoken to her recently.

"Sure haven't. Last I heard she was supposed to be spending the weekend with you, but, well, then she got some news..."

"What do you mean 'news'?" I cut in.

He pursed his lips, tapped his chin, and then snapped his fingers. "Let's see… and, please, stop me if you've heard this one already, but what about the one that starts out with a certain flight attendant with strawberry-blonde hair who you're getting engaged to?"

I closed my eyes for a second, internally kicking myself for being so stupid. "All of that is a huge misunderstanding. I need to talk to her as soon as possible. Have you seen her?"

"Hmmm. I don't know where she is right now. I haven't heard from her since Friday."

Shit.

"Have you tried calling her?" He gave me a sidelong glance.

"I've been trying to reach her for three days." I didn't even want to think of how many times my calls had gone straight to voicemail.

"I'll tell her if I see her. But, just so you know, you better watch yourself, Pilot Boy. She's one of the best people I know and I do not want to see her heart stomped on."

"I know that more than you could possibly imagine. If you see her, I really need to talk to her. Please, man, just let her know."

"You're sure about this misunderstanding thing?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I'm more than sure."

"Okay, then. I'll try."

"Thanks, Sam."

I continued on to the gate where my flight was departing from and checked in at the ticket counter. Once I was issued my boarding pass, I moved over to the row of seats next to the windows.

I stood there, looking out the window at the snow-covered mountains of the Wasatch Range. I wondered where she was right now and hoped more than anything that she was all right. Thinking that she was done with me hurt more than I would have ever thought possible. She was much, much more to me than just a friend, and I was going to do everything that I could to make things right between us again.

-o-(_)-o-

Thank you for your awesome wonderful reviews.

Missing You on the iPod:

11AM – Incubus

Come and Find Me – Josh Ritter

Waiting – The Devlins