Mayuri Kurotsuchi sat in front of his wide screen computer and fumed silently while the office around him lay in disarray. He had run out of steam from the initial anger that he felt when his experiment went incomplete. If I could only observe one of them, he thought angrily, I will know for sure if it works… He banged his fist on the table in frustration. No one saw that display of anger, as everyone has ran away, not wanting to be his target. "Arrrgggghhhh!" he screamed, tearing out some of his hair.
"Otou-sama! Otou-sama! I have great news!" his daughter and futaichou shouted as she ran into the room. Blasted girl, how dare she interrupt my rantings, he thought. "How many times must I tell you, call me Mayuri-sama, not Otou-sama! And why are you making a scene?" he said, irritated, not realizing that the pot was calling the kettle black.
"Hai. Gomenasai. I was getting carried away, Mayuri-sama," she said, apologetic, "Oh but I really have something to tell you, Mayuri-sama! Hitsugaya-taichou! Hitsugaya-taichou is back from the human world!"
Silence. "Muahahahaha! Of course! Kami-sama wouldn't be so cruel to a genius such as I! Yes! Now all I have to do is to observe him and see if he's behaving normally!" he said, rubbing both his hands together and giving his evil grin.
"You won't be able to get out of my sight this time, Hitsugaya-kun."
Karin and Shiro, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Hyourinmaru teased.
Shut it, I'm trying to do some work here, Karin said tiredly, sick of that stupid rhyme that the stupid ice dragon has been singing for the two thousand and thirty seventh time.
But you're thinking that would be nice, wouldn't it? You're thinking the last two time you two kissed was too hasty and unintentional, and that you wouldn't mind, would love it in fact, if that brat kissed you for real, aren't you? the ice dragon smirked a knowing smile. You do remember I can see your thoughts, don't you?
Blushing, Karin thought back hurriedly, I do not think that!
Yes you do.
No I don't!
Yes you do!
It's my thoughts, I would think that I know better than you! Karin thought angrily.
Ah, but I know you better than you know yourself, dear, the drgaon said, with a touch of pride.
No you don't!
Yes I do.
No you don't!
Yes I do.
"NO, YOU DON"T!" she screamed out loud, unaware of the fact that Matsumoto has just entered the office. "I don't what, taichou?" she asked, shocked but her usually cool and composed taichou's sudden outburst.
"Um… you don't…. don't… worry about the paperwork, it's being taken care of," Karin said, hastily covering up her mistake.
Ha, that's the best you can come up with? "Don't worry about paperwork, Matsumoto," he said in a high voice, imitating her, as if MATSUMOTO would ever worry about PAPERWORK…
Shut up! This is all your fault! she retorted.
My fault? Fine, blame the dragon now, would you? Oh, woe is me, it said, sniffing, taking out the imaginary handkerchief again, the only one person who can hear me will only talk to me to blame me for something. Oh, I'm just an unwanted dragon, just a nobody, sitting out here in the cold, my only reason for living is to bear the brunt of your blame.
Well, this IS your fault. Stop being a drama queen, she thought, multiple veins popping out from her forehead.
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
While this childish exchange was taking place between the strongest ice type zanpakuto that was known a the child prodigy taichou, Matsumoto was staring at her taichou, who was, at that time, putting on a constipated face. He sure is weird these days, she thought, I mean, how could he even suggest that I'm worried about PAPERWORK? "Um, are you alright, taichou? Have you done too much paperwork?" she asked, a little concerned and just a teeny weeny bit guilty. Just a bit. "Why don't you take a rest for today and go out and play or something. I'll…" she took a deep breath and said bravely, " I'll do the paperwork today."
Hyourinmaru and Karin stopped. And both stared at the usually drunk and unconscious or missing fugacious. "HUH?!" they said at the same time. ( although she could only hear Karin)
"So come on," she said, grabbing the youth by the shoulders and pushing her out of the room, "Go have some well-deserved rest and play with kids your age. Maybe with Yachiru-chan, ne?"
"No, I will NOT play with Kusajishi-futaichou. And don't treat me like a kid!" she puffed angrily.
"Yes, yes, I've got it," she said in a I'll-play-along-with-this-cute-kid tone, "See you later!" and pushed her out of the door. "Oh, and in case you've forgot, there's a taichou meeting today at noon," she added as an afterthought., opening the door and shutting it after she finished.
What? A taichou meeting? Karin thought, puzzled.
Oh boy, I can't wait to see you at the meeting, Hyourinmaru said happily.
Karin stood outside the doors of First Division, where the meeting is to be conducted. Are you sure it's okay for me to just go in there? I have no idea what I should say or do at a captain's meeting, she asked Hyourinmaru hesitantly. Don't worry, just act as usual. I'll be there to guide you. Besides… the taichous… you have nothing to worry about, Hyourinmaru replied. Feeling a little more reassured, she took a deep breath and pushed open the doors.
"Oh, Hitsugaya-taichou. You've arrived. Please get to your position and we'll start the meeting," Yamamoto-Genryusai Shigekuni, the Soutaichou, said, "Oh and take care to close the doors."
"Hai," Karin replied, a little intimidated by the old man standing at the far corner of the room. She surveyed the room and deduced that she was supposed to stand beside the Eighth and Twelfth Division captains, Shunsui Kyouraku and Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Great, she thought as she walked to her position, of all the person I could be standing next to I have to stand beside a guy in weird clothes and a guy with a weird mask. Especially the masked guy. You can't get any weirder than that. And why is he staring at me?
The moment the doors were closed, everyone seemed to relax and the tense atmosphere toned down. "Alright, let's get down to business. Firstly, let's take a look at the suggestion box to go through what we think needs improvement," the captain of the First Division said, taking out a cardboard box that said "Suggestions". Suggestion box? she thought. The old man reached into the box and pulled out a piece of paper. He cleared his throat and read out, "Why must we always stand when we're at meetings? We're captains, for goodness sake! Are we so poor that we can't get chairs?" Soi Fong, the captain of the Second Division, was nodding as the Soutaichou read out the note.
"Well, I think whoever who wrote that had a point," she said. (Obviously she would think that, seeing as she was the one who wrote that.) "Why can't we get a couple of chairs and sit down?"
The old man coughed to hide his embarrassment, and said, "Well, um, that's because, um, it would be undignified and improper. Wouldn't you agree, Kuchiki-taichou?"
"Sitting down is not against any rules. Neither is standing up. However, I would think that sitting down is more preferable in terms of comfort," Kuchiki Byakuya, the captain of the Sixth Division said coolly. "Dignity is displayed through the way you carry yourself, not your posture." He took out a mirror and began arranging his hair. "As the head of the Kuchiki household and the captain of the Sixth Division, I must say that I would greatly appreciate the presence of chairs."
"Well," Yamamoto said, flustered, "what about you, Zaraki-taichou? What is your opinion on this suggestion?" He turned to the spike-haired taichou with pleading eyes.
"Err," Zaraki Kenpachi, the captain of the Eleventh Division recoiled a little when he saw that look and said, "Don't wanna agree with the old man, but I think that standing is better. If an enemy attacks suddenly, there will be more time to react." He shivered slightly, causing the bells attached to the ends of his hair to ring, and gave an ear-to-ear grin. "Man, I get excited at that thought! Kurosaki!" he shouted to the sky, "Hurry up and attack Soul Society again!"
"Hm hm. That would be interesting. But I would vote in favor of chairs too," the captain of the Eighth Division, Shunsui Kyouraku smiled, and lowered his hat. "That will make it easier to drink my sake. While we're at it, why don't we get a table and a couple of magazines as well?"
The captain of the Thirteenth Division, Ukitake Juushiro smiled fondly at his old friend. "I don't really care for the magazines, but it would be easier for me to sit down." He coughed weakly. "As you all know, my health isn't all too well…" He sniffed and wiped away non-existent tears. "Please take into consideration of this sickly young man's condition…"
"Yes, I do agree that for Ukitake-taichou having ample rest is of utmost importance," Unohana Retsu, the captain of the Fourth Division, said in her gentle voice, "but for the rest of us, standing up is better for our blood circulation. Thus I think that only Ukitake-taichou can have the exception of sitting down."
Komamura Sajin, captain of the Seventh Division, said nothing. He thought, there probably won't be any chair that will fit me…
All this time, Karin has been following the conversation with incredulous looks. These are the captains of the SoulSociety? How… childish!
You've only realized it now? Hyourinmaru said mockingly. These are the leaders of Seireitei. Makes you feel reassured, doesn't it?
Mayuri has also been observing Karin this entire time, and just when Karin has reached the conclusion that Soul Society is doomed, he asked, "What about you, Hitsugaya-taichou? What do you think?"
Karin said the first thing that came into her mind. "When will this stupid meeting end? Do I have to stay here and listen to these geezers talk?" (which is exactly what Hitsugaya would say, I think)
From her reply, Mayuri concluded that it must be Hitsugaya speaking, thus, he concluded sadly, his experiment had failed. He sighed. Back to the drawing board.
Yamamoto tried to regain control of the situation. "So, who's in favour of putting cahirs in the room?"
"That would be me," Byakuya said, holding up his mirror.
"Shut up, sissy boy. Guess you're too girly to stand up, huh?" Zaraki snarled.
"I dare you to repeat that," the noble said, putting down his mirror and fixing him with his cold stare.
"You're. Too. Girly. To. Stand."
"Hey, what do you mean? You think girls are too weak to stand? Are you saying that girls are weaker than guys?" Soi Fong said angrily, glaring at Zaraki.
"That wasn't what I meant, but it is a fact that girls are weaker than guys," he said cockily.
"What? How dare you!" Soi Fong took a step towards Zaraki, but Unohana, who stood beside her.
"Really, Zaraki-taichou? How about I tell Kusajishi-futaichou what you've just said?" Unohana said gently, and smiled.
That shut Zaraki up.
Byakuya smile slightly. "So, who's the one afraid of a little girl?"
"Shut up! It's better than being a sissy boy!" Zaraki retorted.
"SA-KE! SA-KE! SA-KE! SA-KE!" Shunsui ranted.
"Oh, poor, poor me…" went Ukitake.
Silence from Komamura.
"What exactly went wrong? Was it the…? Or was it…?" Mayuri muttered under his breath.
'Well," Yamamoto said hurriedly, "let's conclude this week's captain's meeting then, shall we?"
"Let's take this outside! Just you and me!" Zaraki shouted to Byakuya as he turned to leave.
"I wouldn't be seen with a barbaric," Byakuya responded calmly.
"What about the chairs?" Soi Fong asked as she too headed for the doors.
"Well, let's go, Shunsui," Ukitake said, suddenly energetic. "Your Nanao-chan is waiting for you on the other side of these doors."
"Nanao-chan!" he screamed, and dashed for the doors.
Komamura walked out without a word.
"What exactly went wrong? I was sure that…" Mayuri muttered as he went out.
"Well, have a nice day," Yamamoto said lamely, coughed and walked out too, leaving Karin alone in the room.
What the hell? Karin thought.
I'm back! Thank all of you for your patience. I've made this chapter extra long.