Disclaimer; Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.
Special thanks to dandiegoose for betaing this chapter and for all her help in pushing me. Also thanks to Stacie Ard for helping with this chapter and for being there. Thanks to Karen E. Teague for all the help when my ideas run away, and encouragement.
Please read and review. Love hearing your comments.
Chapter 11
BPOV
When I walked out the door, leaving Edward there, I didn't know where I was going. I just knew for the safety of my baby that I had to go. It was so hard to go after he said "Bella, please don't go." But I had to be strong and walk away. I couldn't let him continue treating me that way.
It was not good for me and it definitely wasn't good for the baby. Even though I loved Edward with all of my heart, I had to do it.
I was tired that I drove to the nearest hotel. I would figure out where I was going to go later.
After I took a shower and got into bed, I called Alice to let her know that I was fine.
She told me that Edward called, and apologized to her and Jazz. He asked if she had heard from me. She told him no and even if she had , she wouldn't told him.
That was Ali. She could be a total bitch if you pissed her off.
She said that he told her that if she did hear from me, to tell me that he loved me and that he was sorry.
He always said that, and he'd continue to said it. But it was one thing to say it and another thing to truly mean it. He needed to understand that he needed help and he couldn't do it alone. Until then, I would] stay away, no matter how long it took him. Hopefully, it wouldn't be that long, but who knew . Edward was a very stubborn man.
Hopefully, he'd realize that by me leaving and he'd get the help he needed.
After I told her that I would let her know where I ended up then I got off the phone, I curled up and let the tears fall.
I knew that I loved him and I would always love him. But I had to think of the baby and not just me. If I weren't pregnant, I don't know if I would have had the guts to leave him.
I tossed and turned most of the night, I didn't know where I was going to go. The next morning I woke up feeling kind of sick to my stomach. I thought back to what happened last night and still could not believe Edward acted that way. I'm sure me, feeling sick was from all the stress and my nerves.
I got dressed and checked out of the hotel and went and got some breakfast. I was just about done when my phone rang. I hoped it wasn't Edward because I wasn't sure that I could talk to him. I knew that I told him not to contact me but, like I said before, he was very a stubborn man.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and looked at the caller. It was Esme.
Hmm...I wonder why she is calling me.
"Hello Esme."
"Hi honey. How are you feeling today?"
"I'm just a little sick to my stomach that's all. I think it's my nerves and all the stress I'm having lately."
"Alice called me this morning and told me what that asshole son of mine did last night. She also told me that you left him. I know it's really none of my business and I'm not one to stick my nose in either, but I talked to Carlisle and we wanted to know if you would like to come stay with us until my asshole son comes around."
"I really appreciate the invite but I could not be a burden on you. I have to figure out how I'm going to support myself since I was living with Edward. I haven't been back to school since 9/11 and with me being pregnant I'm not sure how easy I will find a job."
"Bella, dear, you will not be a burden on us. Besides you are carrying our grandchild and we think of you as our daughter. Since my son can't get his shit together and take care of his child Carlisle and I will do it for him. We want to know that you are be taken care of."
"Ok, ok. I'll come stay with you but only under one condition; that you will let me help around the house. Let me cook, clean, and whatever else that may need to be done. That's the only way I will stay there."
"Ok, but I don't like the idea of you working around the house, dear."
"I would have to do it if I was still living with Edward or wherever I ended up staying."
"I know dear, but I like being able to take care of my family. You of all people should know that."
"Well, I'm finishing up my breakfast and then I will head your way. Thank you so much, Esme. It means a lot to me. I just hope that this will not be a problem with Edward and you guys."
"You let Carlisle and me worry about that son of mine. He needs a really good butt chewing if you ask me. I think will be an eye opener for him."
"I hope so. I love him very much but I just can't live like this anymore."
"I know that you do and I'm sure that he still loves you very much. He just has to get past this stuff he has bottled up inside. Finish eating and we can talk some more when you get here."
"Ok, I will see you in a little while. Bye."
"Talk to you soon, dear. Be careful. Bye."
After I finished up my breakfast and used the restroom, I made my way to the car and started towards Esme and Carlisle's.
I knew the drive to their house in Woodbridge wouldn't take very long.
I was about half way there when my phone rang. I picked it up and noticed that it was Edward. I hit the ignore button and continued on with my driving. I heard the musical chime on my phone, letting me know that he left a voicemail. I was debating on whether or not to listen to it. I pulled off to the side of the road checked my voicemail.
"Baby I'm so, so sorry for what I've done. Please come home, Bella. I'm not sure how I will go on without you. I know I fucked up. I never wanted you to leave.
You and the baby are my everything. I miss you so much and I love you with everything that I am. Please just come home to me. I love you."
I threw the phone down on the seat as the stupid tears fell from my eyes. He sounded so sad and sincere. He could be so sweet when he wanted to be but I had to be strong and do what was] right for our baby and me this time. He needed to get a grip on his life.
I pulled back out onto the road once I got myself together enough to drive. Once I got closer, I called and told Alice that I would be staying with the Cullen's. I just wanted someone to know where I was and knew that Alice wouldn't tell Edward.
I was still trying to figure out how he could treat someone that he was suppose to love so much so badly?
Pulling up in the Cullen's driveway, I thought that I really shouldn't be a burden to them.
Edward was their son and they really should be there for him, not taking me in.
They also think that Edward needs to talk to someone. I just had to be strong.
I got out of my car as Carlisle and Esme came over to me.
"Carlisle, can you please get her stuff?" Esme asked him.
"Yes, dear."
"Thank you, Carlisle. I could have gotten that myself; I'm not helpless," I said quietly.
"We know that but you should not be lifting anything. Edward told us what happened the other night. We are watching out for you and the baby," Carlisle said.
"You guys don't know how much this means to me. Thank you for letting me stay here."
"Nonsense Bella, you are family, and we take care of our family," Carlisle replied.
We walked into the house and Carlisle put my stuff in the spare room. I was glad that he did because I was not sure I would be strong enough to stay in Edward's room.
I called Alice and Jasper to let them know that I had arrived at the Cullen's safe and sound. She told me that Edward had called them.
"Yeah, Alice, he called me too and left a message on my voicemail. I almost gave in but I know I did this for myself, the baby and him as well. I just love him so damn much it hurts."
"I know you do sweetie but you can't keep living like that. He needs to know that you mean business. Until he gets help and understands that he is hurting everyone he loves and until he sees it himself. You just need to be strong. Let me know if you need anything. Love ya girlie."
"Thanks and I will definitely let you know if I need anything and love you too."
After I hung up, I laid down and took a nap.
I woke up about two hours later to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I didn't have to look at the caller ID to know that it was Edward.
I just let the voicemail get it so that he could leave a message.
I got up to go to the bathroom and then fought the urge to pick up my phone. I turned and walked out of the room. When I went downstairs, I found Esme on the phone in the kitchen.
She held up her finger to her lips, indicating to me to be quiet.
It must be Edward, I thought to myself as I listened to her.
"Edward, it's your fault she left. You need to get help if you want Bella and the baby in your life," Esme told him.
"Well, you should think about it. I'm sure wherever she is, she's fine." She said as she smiled at me.
"Ok, Dear, I will talk to you later. Yes, Dad can go there tomorrow. I will tell him. Love you, too. Bye, Edward."
She hung up the phone and came to hug me.
"How was your nap, Bella?" she asked with concern in her voice.
"It was very good. I was really tired. I was woken up by my phone," I said.
"Yeah, I know who that was. He must have called you before he called me," she said.
"I guess. He left a voicemail, but I didn't listen to it yet," I replied quietly.
"It's okay Bella, listen to it when you are ready. I'm sure he will call many more times. Are you hungry?" she asked.
"Yes, actually I am."
"Well let's get you and my grandchild fed, shall we?" she said.
"Sure, that sounds great," I said as I sat down at the table and absentmindedly played with my bracelet.
She placed a sandwich in front of me along with cup of milk. I just smiled at her. I wondered what Edward's voicemail would say. The last one he left me had me in tears. I'm sure this one will be a tearjerker as well.
I loved Edward but I had to be strong. Just like Esme told him, he had to get help if he wanted me and the baby to be in his life. I just hoped that I would not give into him. Hopefully, Esme will help me keep my mind off him.
"Thank you for the sandwich. Do you mind if I cook dinner tonight? It will get my mind off Edward."
"Sweetheart, you don't have to do that. How about I make you a deal? I will let you help make it."
"Thank you. That will work for me. I'm going to go unpack my stuff. Just call me when you are ready to start on dinner," I said.
"I will, dear. You go do what you need to do."
I turned and walked back upstairs to the guest room and sat on the bed.
Should I listen to the voicemail or just erase it?
I wasn't sure what to do. My heart was telling me one thing, but my head was telling me something different.
I decided that I was going with my heart, picked up my phone and listened to the voicemail.
"Baby, please call me to let me know that you are okay. Nobody will tell me anything. You will never know how sorry I am that I fucked up again. Could you at least text me and let me know where you are? Some sign that you and our baby are fine. I miss you. I need you and want you in my life. I need you and our baby here so I can take care of you. I wish you would give me a call, Bella. I love you so much."
I sat there after I hung up my phone and let the tears fall. I wanted to go home so badly or even just call him but I had to stop thinking like that. I could not give into him. I finished unpacking my clothes and by time I had that done, it was close to four o'clock.
I wandered downstairs to the kitchen. Esme had her back turned to me as I approached her, I could tell she was cutting something.
"Esme, what can I do to help?"
"Oh dear, you scared me! I didn't hear you come in. How about you cook the cut up chicken that's in the fridge?"
I started to cook the chicken and noticed that there were noodles and alfredo sauce as well. I went ahead and got a pot ready on the stove for the noodles.
When we finally sat and ate, it felt like there was something hanging in the air. I began thinking about my first appointment tomorrow and was wondered if Carlisle would be there.
"Um, Carlisle, are you working tomorrow?" I asked.
"Yes, Bella, I am. Why?"
"Well, I have my first appointment tomorrow and I was wondering if maybe you could come with me. Just to make sure everything is okay and I don't want to go by myself."
"What time is your appointment so I can make sure I'm there on time?"
"Um it's at 10:15. They told me to be there by 9:45 because I have paperwork to fill out."
"Alright, I will meet you there about 10:00. I just have to make rounds at the hospital first then I will head to you," he said with a smile.
"Thank you, Carlisle, that means a lot to me."
"No need to thank me, Bella. You are having our grandchild. I will do what I can to help in any kind of way."
I looked at both of them and said, "Thank you both for everything that you are doing for me. It means a lot to me."
"It's really not a problem, dear. You know that we love you like a daughter."
I just nodded my head because I wasn't sure if I would not start to cry or not.
I cleaned up after we ate and went to my room for the night. I woke up the next day and felt a sense of joy. I wasn't not sure why.
Maybe it was the fact that I had peace. Peace that I had not felt in awhile. When I was at home, I wasn't sure what Edward was going to be like at all, if he would be in a good mood or an angry mood. I loved him and still did , but I needed to take care of myself and that's what I planned on doing.
I showered, got dressed and went downstairs to fix some breakfast. Esme came down a little while later dressed.
"Bella, do you mind if I take you to your appointment and stay with you?" Esme asked.
"That's fine. I'm so sorry I didn't think of that last night when I asked Carlisle to come."
We both ate and it was time to go. When we pulled up the doctor's office, I started to get nervous. How in the hell was I going to pay for a baby? I had no job and no health insurance. I would just have to deal with that later. Maybe I could find a job? Oh who was I kidding? Nobody was going to hire a pregnant woman.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong? You seem nervous or scared," she said.
"I just got thinking how in the hell am I going to pay for the doctor's appointments. I have no job and no health insurance. I can't even get a job because nobody will want to hire a pregnant woman."
"Don't worry about it, dear. Edward is taking care of all your medical bills and will help out financially when the baby comes as well."
I stopped dead in my tracks.
"What do you mean he is paying for this? He was the one that didn't want this at first," I said looking at her.
"Whether you believe it or not, he does love you and that child. He wants to take care of this. Let him. He will come around soon. Just give him time to get help."
I just nodded.
I walked up the counter told them my name and she handed me a clipboard with forms to fill out.
I sat next to Esme and filled out the papers. When it started asking about payment method, I looked to Esme. She took the clipboard from me and filled that part out. I noticed that she had all of Edward's information written down. I wonder if she called him or he called her about paying for this.
Carlisle came in a few moments later. When we got called back, they weighed me, took my blood pressure and I had to pee in a cup. I was placed in a room and both Carlisle and Esme stood on each side of me.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," I said.
The door opened and in walked a guy with a white coat. I assumed it was Dr. Clearwater.
"Miss Swan, I'm Dr. Seth Clearwater. It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you as well. This is Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. They are the baby's grandparents."
"Ah, Dr. Cullen, I have heard great things about you. It's good to put a face to the name."
"Thank you, Dr. Clearwater," Carlisle said.
"Alright, Miss Swan, you have gained thirteen pounds and your blood pressure and urine look great. I need to do an examination. Do you want them to stay or leave?"
I looked at them both and I could tell that they really wanted to stay.
"Carlisle, would it bother you if I wanted you to stay?" I asked.
"Not at all, Bella. I will stay up here and I will turn my head if you would like."
" It doesn't bother me. But if you feel more comfortable than that's fine."
I placed my feet in the stir-ups and Dr. Clearwater did his thing.
"Well, everything looks great there. Let's get an ultrasound of this baby."
I pulled up my shirt right under my bra. I felt the cool gel being put on my stomach.
Dr. Clearwater moved the wand around my stomach. He turned the screen so that we all could see.
"This, right here, is the body. Right there is the hands and feet. Right here is the baby's head. Right there in the middle is the heart beat. Let's see how the baby's heartbeat is."
He turned a knob on and all you could hear was a fast thump in the room.
"The baby's heart beat is nice and strong. It's beating right at 135 beats per minute. I'm going to take a few measurements and then I can tell you your due date."
I turned to look at Esme and Carlisle. They both looked like they wanted to cry. I wanted to cry myself. I wanted to cry because Edward was not here to share this with me. And because I was so happy that the baby was great.
"Well with the measurements, it looks like your due date will be June 15th. Remember though, it just an estimated due date."
I let the tears fall. That was so close to Edward's birthday. What if the baby is born on his birthday? How would I ever get through that every year if we never got back together?
"I want to see you again in four weeks. Everything looks good at this point. The baby is strong and healthy. Just make sure you take you prenatal vitamins."
"I will and thank you, Dr. Clearwater," I said as I got up.
I stopped and made my appointment for next month before Esme and I told Carlisle bye and walked toward the car.
"Um, Esme do you think we could stop at Taco Bell. I'm hungry and want a taco salad."
"Yes, sweetie, that's fine. Then we can go shopping. I'm sure you could use some new clothes," she said.
"No, not yet. I'm not ready to do that, but I would like to get a journal so I can write about my pregnancy," I said looking down.
"That's fine, dear. We can stop first and eat lunch."
As we drove, I picked up my phone. I felt like I should call Edward and let him know when my due date was. I opened my phone and scrolled down my contacts until I came to Edward's name.
Tears started to fall down my face when I saw his picture. God, I missed him so much. How was I going to live without him? This was the most important time in our lives and we should be doing it together, not apart.
I hit the send button and before it could ring I hung up. I kept telling myself I had to be strong and not give in.
"Bella, dear, we are here. Let's get you and my grandbaby fed," she said as she placed her hand on my shoulder.
I ordered my food along with water. We sat and ate but we did not talk. I think Esme knew that I needed this time think and get myself together again.
We walked around the mall for a bit before I went into Hallmark to see if I could find a journal. I couldn't find what I wanted there so we returned to walking the mall again.
I came across a baby store. Thinking I might find what I'm looking for there, I went in. I walked to the baby books and found a journal with a baby on the front. The front of the book read, "The Life of Angel Before Being Born." I knew that was the one I had to have.
Esme insisted on buying it for me. Finally it was time to go home.
"Bella, tonight for dinner we're just going to order something in. Is there anything you would like?" she asked me.
"Maybe pizza with everything on it."
"Ok, dear. Then that's what we will have," she said with a smile.
I could see so much of Edward in both of his parents.
Pulling up into the driveway, I all of a sudden felt really tired.
"Esme, I thinking I'm going to go take a nap. I'm really tired all of a sudden."
"Go rest. You have had a long day, dear."
She kissed my forehead and I headed upstairs. I crawled into bed and fell asleep.
EPOV
After Bella left, all I could do was sit and stare at the wall. What the hell had I done this time?
I let her walk out.
I couldn't really stop her in this damn chair. I begged her not to go. I know I fucked up. Emmett had told me I'd be losing the best things in my life and he was right.
Bella and the baby were the best things in my life, and I just watched them walk away.
Fuck, how am I going to get her back?
I called Alice to see if Bella went there.
Alice was no help. She just yelled at me and called me every name in the book. Then Jasper got on the phone and told me if I didn't get the help I needed, I would probably lose Bella forever.
Well, I probably already did.
I pleaded with Alice to please give Bella a message if she had heard from her.
I called Rose too, but she said she and Bella hadn't spoken since the thing with Emmett.
Next, called Bella's cell phone. I knew she probably wouldn't answer her phone, so I left her a voice mail.
I prayed that she'd return the call. But deep down I know that she wouldn't.
I went to our bedroom and got myself out of my chair and into bed.
I laid there in our bed and could smell Bella everywhere.
I thought back to this morning and how I made her come with my tongue.
How could I fuck up something so badly?
I called Bella again, but I got her voicemail again.
I decided to call my mother. I was so hoping she would be on my side.
But listening to her, no of course not. She told me I needed to get help.
Well fuck, the one person I thought would be on my side wasn't. I truly had no one now.
I hung up the phone and thought about it.
Maybe I did need some help. Maybe I would call Jasper and find the help I need.
I fell into a fitful sleep.
I woke up a little after one thirty to someone pounding on my door.
I knew it had to be Emmett.
I wasn't in the mood to deal with his shit. I knew he was taking me to physical therapy. But now he probably knew that Bella left me and he would rant about how I fucked up the best thing in my life.
If he did start, I would tell him that I already knew that, thanks.
"Edward, you need to get your ass up," his voice boomed throughout the house.
"Emmett, do you think you could be any louder? I'm sure Manhattan didn't hear you," I replied sarcastically.
"Whatever, fuckhead. You screwed up royally. You let the best thing in your life go."
"Yeah, I know already, I wish people would stop telling me that I messed up. Don't you think I know that?"
"I'm sure you do, but I'm here to remind you," he said as he helped me into the shower.
After I was done, I called for Emmett to help me out.
I would be so glad when I could shower without anyone's help. I was tired of relying on other people. I knew I needed to get back to being me so that I could get Bella back.
I got dressed without much help and then I was ready to go.
Emmett wheeled me out of the house to his car then drove me to Dr. Crowley's office.
I really despised him but he was the best in his field, and if I was going to get better fast, I needed the best.
He greeted me with that fake ass smile of his and wheeled me to the aquatic pool where he instructed me on the exercises we would be doing.
The whole process of physical therapy took about an hour and a half.
Every muscle in my upper body hurt and I felt new pains in my legs.
He assured me that it was normal and as the days went by, I should be having other feelings return too.
I thanked him for his help and told him that I would see him in two days.
I was really tired as Emmett drove me home. He offered to make me something to eat but I told him I'd make a Hot Pocket later, I just really wanted to be left alone.
Just as I got in the door, the phone rang.
I nearly knocked over the end table with my wheelchair. I was hoping it was Bella, but it wasn't. It was my mother.
"Hello, Mom," I said.
"I am calling to let you know that your father and I are going with Bella to her first doctor's appointment in the morning."
"How did that come about?"
"Since you decided to be an ass, she needed someone to go with her. So she asked your father to go."
"I guess that's good. Why are you calling me?"
"Because, son of mine, you are going to pay for the appointments and the birth of your son or daughter."
"Of course I am, Mom, you have all the account information. Just do whatever is necessary. I want to take care of Bella and our baby. I love her mom. I always have and I always will, even if she doesn't believe it."
"I know Edward, and it will all work out. Just get the help you need and Bella will come around. Goodbye, Son."
"Bye, Mom," I said hanging up the phone.
After I got off the phone, I laid down and waited for the darkness to overtake me. I had no will to do anything.
Without Bella, my life was a moonless night. Nothing mattered to me anymore.