I collapse against the door as soon as I close it, unable to comprehend what I've just seen. What the hell happened? Yesterday, she was kissing me. We were kissing, dammit. And now, tonight, she's all over some other dude? The situation expands in my brain until it becomes a monster, and I have to stop myself when I get to the point where I'm imagining him fucking her in some back bedroom. Not my Bella. I can't let myself think that the Bella I've come to know would do that.

I press my palms against my eyes, willing away the images and trying to calm myself with deep breaths. Maybe there's an explanation. Right. The best explanation is that other dude is her type, and I'm not. I'll never be like Bella, wild and reckless. I'll just be boring, nerdy Edward, busting my ass to get from day to day.

I grab a soda from the fridge, turn off my phone, and do what I've always done best. I pick up a book and try to lose myself in a world that isn't my own. The words are a jumble on the page for what seems like ages, but eventually I settle into a comfortable reading pace, shoving Bella and that dude's tongue to the back of my mind.

And then I see it.

"Destiny is usually just around the corner ... But what destiny does not do is home visits. You have to go for it."

The quote hits me like a freight train. Destiny doesn't do home visits. I can sit and chit chat with Bella, flirting with her on my balcony all I want to, but am I actually going for it? No. I'm playing it safe, keeping this relationship-if it even is one-under wraps, in my apartment. If I really want anything with her, I have to put myself out there all the way. She invited me to a party, she asked me to be a part of her life, but I was too scared to go. I pretty much blew her off, now that I think about it. And that's kind of bullshit. Can I really blame her for kissing some other dude when I'm trying to keep what we have hidden on a fire escape?

I stand up, getting more angry with myself by the second. You know what, fuck that other dude. Bella cares about me. She seeks me out and enjoys spending time with me. And I may get a broken nose out of the deal, but I'm going after my destiny.

I walk to my door, throw it open, and pound down the stairs with fierce determination. At the threshold where the door now hangs wide open, I don't hesitate like before. I walk in straight to that couch, but she's not there. I close my eyes, the same image from before of her in that seedy back room flooding my brain, but I shake it off and turn toward the kitchen. If I can't find Bella, I'll find Rose and demand to know where she is.

Before I get two steps, Rose finds me first.

"Commando! Thank fuck you came back, dude. It wasn't what it looked like. She's so wasted. When I told her you saw her kissing Jake, she freaked the fuck out, man."

I try to interrupt her a few times, but she's rambling on about Bella locking herself in the bathroom or something ridiculous, and I finally grab her by the shoulders and shake her.

"Rose? Rose! Where is Bella now? Where is she?"

"I told you, man, she's in the fucking bathroom. Hey, can I go piss in your place? This last beer totally, like, put me over the top, and she won't let me in there."

Relief washes over me as I realize that my worst fears are not actually going to come true. "Whatever," I say, already moving past her toward the hallway. "I've got to find Bella."

I get to the bathroom door and try the handle. Locked, just as Rose said. I shake it a few times. These doors aren't exactly made to hold up against a raid, but I don't think I'm strong enough to break it.

"Bella? Bella, are you in there?"

No answer. The music is so loud she probably can't even hear me, so I move my face to the corner where the door meets the frame and shout loudly.

"Bella! Open the door. It's Edward." I jimmy the handle a few more times and hear noises on the other side.

The door opens a tiny crack, and there she is, eye makeup streaking all the way down both cheeks to her neck. It's not a pretty sight.

"Edward? Fuck, Edward, I'm so sorry." And just like that, she starts to sob, huge tears falling down.

"Hey, either let me in or come out of there, okay?" I move cautiously, afraid to scare her. "Calm down. We'll talk it out."

Bella opens the door and slides to the floor in a heap, wailing.

"But I'm so sorry, Edward. I drank too much because I was so upset that you didn't want to come down because you're obviously embarrassed to be seen with me, and then Jake was there, and he kissed me." Her wailing increases pitch here. "And, I think, I don't know, I think I might have kissed him back." Finally, she's done. She dissolves into sobs and wails and sniffles, and it's obvious that she's wasted, and I'm not going to be able to talk to her rationally tonight.

"Bella? I need you to stand up. We're going upstairs to my place where we can talk about all this." And by talk, I mean put her to bed to sleep it off. She doesn't stand though, just lies there in a helpless puddle of tears, snot, and mascara.

I look around. No one is really paying that close of attention to us, and thank God that Jake guy is nowhere to be seen. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose. I get down on one knee for leverage and haul her up in my arms before standing up and leaving this place, cradling Bella close to me.

I make my way slowly to my apartment, and when I pause at the top, panting pretty heavily, I realize Bella has already passed out, her head pillowed against my shoulder like she's been there forever. I can't help but smile as I kick open my door ... right into Rose.

"Fuck! Look out, dude!"

"Jesus. Sorry, Rose. Hey, does Bella have a purse or anything down there? She's staying at my place tonight. Can you call her dad or something?" I prop some of Bella's weight against the wall, and Rose stares at me wide-eyed.

"You carried her up here? Like a fucking knight in shining armour? Holy fuck, dude. High five for that shit." She lifts her hand in the air before remembering that my hands are otherwise occupied and continues. "Never mind. Umm, yeah she has a bag because she was just gonna stay at my place. I'll bring it right back up."

I tell her thanks and that I'll leave the door open for her, and finally carry Bella down the hallway to my bedroom. I lay her on the bed and smooth her hair back against the pillow. There are some tissues on my dresser, so I clean up her face a bit, and she stirs.

"Edward? I'm so sorry. Please."

"Shhhh. It's okay. We'll talk in the morning. Go to sleep." I kiss her forehead gently and then stand, pulling my quilt over her bare legs and grabbing the spare pillow to take to the futon in the living room. No way am I sleeping next to her in this state ... with this unfinished business.

After Rose drops off Bella's bag, I lock up, turn off the lights, and lie back on the futon, finally able to process the events of the night. Organizing the timeline in my head, I have to chuckle when I realize how much more dramatic my life has become since Bella has been in it. All of this happened in one night? It feels like weeks.

I lie there thinking about it all for hours, analyzing the events as they happened and wondering how things could have gone differently. The last thing I remember thinking before falling asleep is that, whether Bella kissed Jake back or not, I want to be with her. And tomorrow, I'm going to make sure that's clear.

He didn't get punched. How could I let that happen to my poor baby Edward? Come play with me on Twitter. I'm SingleStrand over there, my original FFn name.