Chapter Eleven
"Everything?" I clarify. Miku nods her head furiously. "Well, I guess the first words went something like… I don't know," I sigh, "I can't remember."
"You mean, you don't remember anything?" Miku asks. I shake my head.
"As far as lyrics go, no. But, I do remember being upset about what I had written in my head. I mean, lyrics are supposed to make you happy… but these… I felt empty and alone when writing them," I admit. Len looks down. Gumi looks away.
"Not all lyrics are supposed to make you feel happy," whispers Rin, her head leaning on her fist. "I would know, a lot of the songs that I sing are so…"
"Dark," Len finishes. The twins exchange glances and Rin leans on Len's shoulder. I smile at how cute they are together- when they're not fighting, that is.
"Sometimes my songs aren't all sunshine and lollipops," Gumi admits. "Well, unlike me, of course," she laughs, flipping her green hair. Rin giggles and flicks her.
"I don't think I can really say the same about my songs," says Kaito.
"Yeah, Double Rainbow wasn't exactly the shadiest song you've ever sang," laughs Gakupo.
"Well, sometimes I find myself singing along to Canterella," says Luka.
"Yeah, but Magnet was quite interesting too," winks Kaito. Luka crosses her arms across her chest. Miku's face turns bright red as she looks away from Luka.
I smile down to myself. "Thanks, you guys are so supportive," I say. Len smiles at me. Again, his deep sea-green eyes….
I shake my head. I have to stop getting absorbed in his eyes. "Are you okay, Madoka?" he asks. I blink and nod my head.
"Yeah. I'm just fine, actually," I sigh, hiding a smile. Suddenly, I can hear my heart beating more rapidly as it rings through my ears. I can feel my cheeks turning pinker than ever. I look down. Rin bites her lip and looks away. I think she knows what's going on- and she doesn't like it. I'm not sure if I like it or not, and plus, I don't even know what's going on.
All I really know right now is that Len's eyes are something close to magic.
As soon as the bell rings, marking the end of lunch, I run out of the cafeteria, unsure of the strange emotions I am starting to feel. Ugh, that blonde hair is driving me crazy, I think. I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what's up.
Len seems to know. It hardly took any time before he ran up to me and spotted me. I bite my lip and look away, hopefully preventing any emotions from showing. I can't look at him anyway- I'll drown in the sea of his eyes.
"Madoka-sama, are you okay?" he asks, stepping closer to me. I try to casually lean against my locker without looking at him. "You were kind of looking at me funny," he says. I blink. "But now, you're not really looking at me at all," he mutters. I sigh.
"Sorry, um, it's nothing," I lie. Len sighs too.
"Madoka, why don't you trust me like you trust Miku?" he asks. Shocked at the words he said, I lift my head up and stare at him, wide-eyed.
"I- I…" I stutter, "That's not it, I swear!" I half-yell.
"Then why won't you even look at me?" Len asks, his blonde hair shadowing his sapphire eyes. I want to burst out something- but I don't know what.
"It's… I don't know," I whisper. Len shakes his head. Suddenly, a cold expression runs across his face as if he's seen a ghost.
"I-It wasn't because of the road roller thing, was it?" he asks, staring at me. Suddenly, my already heated face turns bright red.
"R-road roller? You mean… right after it crashed…?" I stammer. Len nods his head once. I bite my lip and slide further against my locker.
"I am so sorry about that whole thing," Len sighs. "I-I was trying to just forget about it. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable," he says softly, avoiding my eyes as well.
"See, now you're not looking at me," I giggle. He snaps back to life, and a grin slips onto his face. He chuckles, leaning on the locker next to mine. However, he holds my stare. I can't look away… again.
"Sorry, u-uh… I should probably get to class now," he hesitates. I try to say something too, but it only comes out as a helpless stutter. I watch in silence as he walks away from my locker. As he walks, something slips from his grasp. As I lean forward, I realize it's a yellow notebook. More students begin to file out into the hall, creating traffic in every way.
"Wait! Len! You dropped something!" I call after him. Over all the noise, I don't think he could have had a chance of hearing me. Instead of calling again, I run, shoving other students aside to get to the notebook. As soon as I pick it up, I stumble, trying to find the English room so I could deliver it to him. Oh, right. Len's not in my English class. I bite my lip, sticking the notebook under my arm as I make my way through the crowded halls.
Suddenly, it hits me (no, not literally). I know why I can't even look at Len. The emotion in his eyes… is love. I'm afraid to return it… but why?
Perfect. Another piece of this problem I have to dig into.