Chapter 10

Cormac had been sat in the library since class finished, but he hadn't opened a single book yet. His parchment and quills were still in his book bag. In fact Cormac's desk was empty. He was sat quietly, numbly, staring into space.

It had been a hard day for Cormac. Hermione's absence from breakfast had rattled him more than he would have thought possible. He'd been unable to eat anything, knowing that she was probably still unconscious in the hospital wing. Four hours of class had been sat through on an empty stomach, and lunch had been skipped too.

Right now he should be in the dining room eating dinner. Yet despite his self-induced starvation Cormac still didn't feel in the least bit hungry. He was avoiding the dorm, because telling Kurt what had happened to Hermione would bring on a barrage of unhelpful 'advice'.

Instead habit had drawn him to the library, because it had become a safe sanctuary in the time he had known Hermione. It was a secluded, quiet space where he could always find the person he loved.

Of course, today she was missing, and that only did more to fuel his sorrow.

Cormac could no longer think or act properly; because now he knew that Hermione didn't love him. She never had, and never would.

Yet his distress at finally coming to this conclusion was mixed with the pain of knowing that Hermione was sick. She was maybe even dying, and it was on some level his fault.

He'd spent much of his day debating as to whether or not he should just go and see how she was. He could easily pop into the hospital wing between classes, with a cheery hello, to ask how she was doing. It was only knowing that he would find nothing good there that kept him from doing just that. If Hermione was still unconscious he would only be upset further; if Hermione was awake all he'd hear was why she didn't love him. Cormac knew that he couldn't handle either situation right now.

Eventually the librarian came to kick Cormac out of the library and order him back to the common room. He went slowly, even though he knew there would be trouble if he broke curfew.

By the time he reached the portrait hole Cormac had already decided that trying to sleep that night would be pointless. The look on his face scared a bunch of first years into retreat as he approached the favourable chairs by the fire. Taking a place in a comfy armchair, he stared moodily into the fire, contemplating how life went so wrong so fast.

He wasn't contemplating long, however, because he was disturbed by two sixth years rushing into the common room through the portrait hole.

"He has to be back in his dorm by now, it's almost curfew!" said Weasley to Potter, as they crossed the common room.

"I'm not so sure, Ron. His friend said he'd been hiding all day…" Potter's words trailed away as his eyes fixed on Cormac. "McLaggen, there you are," he said.

"Told you," muttered Weasley.

Potter ignored his best friend. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

Cormac pondered this for a moment, and then reached into his pocket to grip his wand. He was sure that Potter and Weasley had come to the inevitable conclusion that it was his fault that Hermione was unwell. Maybe she had died, and they'd come to take their revenge.

Maybe it's for the best if they defeat me, he thought to himself bitterly. If she's died because of me, I'm not sure I'd ever be able to live with myself.

"Hermione asked us to fetch you," explained Weasley, looking exasperated. "It took us most of the day to find you, so we'd appreciate it if you came quickly."

Relief flooded Cormac's body, and he released a breath he didn't know he had been holding. It was incredibly liberating to find out that Hermione was well enough to ask anything.

Cormac stood awkwardly as Potter and Weasley had a quick whispered discussion about something. "Up to you mate," ended Weasley, with a shrug. "I don't think he'll tell though, and Hermione trusts him."

After beckoning for Cormac to follow him, Potter climbed back through the portrait hole. Cormac did as indicated, and Weasley followed.

Outside in the corridor Potter looked around nervously. "Hermione insisted that I use this if I have to. I'm not sure she's totally thinking straight but…" Potter trailed off, still glancing from side to side. "If you ever tell anyone about this, I will tell Hermione that you betrayed her trust."

"And we'll hunt you down too," Weasley added for good merit.

Cormac was simply confused, but the two sixth years didn't seem to notice his lack of response. Potter reached into his bag and pulled out a cloak.

It was the strangest cloak that Cormac had ever seen. It shimmered in the light, even when it was still, and it looked almost fluid in nature. He longed to reach out and see what it felt like.

Potter beckoned him forwards. "You have to stand close, it isn't very big," he said impatiently.

Cormac stood befuddled as Potter threw the cloak over the three of them. It took a moment for the answer to come to him.

"This is an invisibility cloak!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah," agreed Potter, "but it doesn't stop people from hearing you, so please be quiet."

Cormac obeyed, and lapsed into a stunned silence as they walked the corridors to the hospital wing. He'd never seen an invisibility cloak before, because they were so rare and ridiculously expensive. He knew he'd love the experience of being under one if only he wasn't so worried and miserable.

When they reached the hospital wing Potter stopped outside the door. "We'll wait here for you. You shouldn't need the cloak inside."

All of a sudden Cormac was overcome with nerves. He didn't want to face Hermione alone, and whilst Potter and Weasley weren't exactly friends, they were company. "You're not coming too?"

Weasley looked bitter. "Hermione was very clear on that point. She wanted to speak to you alone. In fact, she wouldn't even speak to us until she'd spoken to you first." He rolled his eyes, clearly showing how ridiculous he thought this.

"How will she know that you're listening if you're invisible?" inquired Cormac, slipping out from under the cloak.

He sensed, rather than saw, Weasley shrug. "She's Hermione, she just knows these things. Now hurry, I want to speak to her too."

So with a thousand different ideas as to what might await him rushing through his head Cormac pushed open the door.

Hermione was supposed to be sleeping, but she was too impatient to sleep. As soon as Madame Pomfrey had retired to her office for the night Hermione had ceased pretending to sleep and sat straight up in bed. Harry and Ron had been gone all afternoon, and still they hadn't returned with Cormac. She'd decided he was probably worried, and had gone somewhere to hide from his fears. She knew that he would normally go to a far corner of the grounds, but today it was raining. Instead he was probably in one of the deserted corridors in a higher tower. In the last few weeks she'd discovered that Cormac liked to walk to clear his head.

Whilst listening to the rain patter gently against the windows Hermione closed her eyes and began to sort through her memories again. It was hard, suddenly having a head full of things she'd forgotten. Her head felt very full, and she kept getting things in the wrong order. It was reassuring, though, to find that nothing was missing.

It had been wonderful to wake and find both Harry and Ron at her side again. Ron hadn't really changed at all while he was dating Lavender. He was still the same loveable fool that he'd always been. It was I who changed mused Hermione.

The pain in Hermione's heart had also returned with the memories of Ron, although not to the same extent. Before it had been a sharp, stabbing, suffocating pain; now there only remained a dull ache when she thought of him, like that of a long healed wound.

Yet despite all the newly discovered memories and confused feelings about Ron that she had to sort through, Hermione's thoughts kept returning to Cormac. She wondered if he knew yet that she'd woken up. She would hate for him to be worrying needlessly.

A sudden creak disturbed Hermione's thoughts, and at the sound of a door being softly closed her eyes flew open.

In front of the door, looking very timid, stood Cormac.

Relief flooded his face on seeing her sat up in bed, but when she smiled at him reassuringly the expression of joy in his eyes was replaced with fear.

"Hi," she said simply, forgetting the speech she had prepared to greet him with when she looked at the broken expression on his face. "Come and sit here," she began instead, and indicated the seat that Harry had occupied earlier.

Cormac did as she'd asked hesitantly. He smiled at her nervously. "How're you feeling?" he asked softly.

"I'm feeling good, although my head feels a little…crowded," she smiled at him. Words rarely failed Hermione, but now she didn't know what to say next.

"That's… good." Cormac too stuttered into awkward silence.

After a few moments Hermione decided to begin her explanation. "Did you hear…why I collapsed?"

Cormac seemed incapable of speech, but nodded, his expression clouded.

"I didn't mean for it to go wrong," she whispered.

Hermione's words awoke something within Cormac and brushed away his nerves. Anger, frustration and disappointment bubbled up inside him. The things he had been thinking all day burst out of him all at once.

"You meant for it to go how, exactly?" he hissed bitterly. "You meant for me to fall in love with the happy, chirpy shell of a Hermione? You meant to live a lie for the rest of your life? How did you intend this to end?!" Cormac hadn't meant to shout, but by the end of his questioning he was.

Hermione shushed him. "Madame Pomfrey will hear, and you'll be in trouble. Please Cormac, let me explain."

"Gladly," he muttered irately.

"I read about it in a book a long time ago, and it was something Harry told me…it reminded me that memories could be altered, or even removed using magic. I wasn't… I was so hurt and confused that I couldn't think straight. Every time I saw Ron I wanted to burst into tears. It was only just bearable. Then you came along."

Cormac was glaring at her silently, clearly not convinced.

"You were so kind and so sweet and so perfect. You understood me, you comforted me, and you gave me so many chances. I've been horrible to you. Yet…look, you're here. I didn't want to be in love with Ron anymore. I wanted to be in love with you."

Cormac laughed coldly. "So that's why you did it? Remove all the men who are better than me from your memory, and you'll settle for me? That's not being in love, Hermione. That's being in denial."

Tears began to drip down Hermione's face. "I know. And that's why I'm so sorry I made that stupid mistake. But you have to understand Cormac! I didn't do it so that I would fall in love with you. I had already fallen in love with you. I did it to stop the love from hurting so much."

It took a moment for Hermione's words to sink in.

"No," said Cormac, shaking his head disbelievingly. "You weren't affectionate towards me until after you removed your memories. I calculated." He'd spent the whole of his defence against the dark arts lesson working it out. Snape had taken several points away from him for not paying attention.

"Because I was confused. Every time I thought about you I felt guilty for betraying Ron. Every time Ron crossed my mind it tore me up to do that to you. I couldn't even sort my thoughts out, let alone my actions. That's why I decided to get rid of some of my thoughts."

Cormac had calmed down a lot with Hermione's explanation. "How do you find your thoughts now?"

Hermione frowned, searching for the right words. "I still love Ron, but I'm not sure I'm in love with him anymore. It still aches a little to think of him, but nowhere near as strong as it was before."

Gathering all of the courage that had got him into Gryffindor, Cormac asked the question that he had been dreading, "How do you feel about me?"

A slight smile played on Hermione's lips. "You're beautiful," she whispered without hesitation, using the word that he had given so much meaning to, for both of them.

Cormac's eyes softened and his face broke into a grin. "Really?"

"Yes," she grinned back at him, and reached out her hand for his. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, and held on to it tightly. "The way you pretend to have homework so that you can come to the library just to be with me is beautiful. The way you think of wonderful ways to surprise me is beautiful. The way you put others first is beautiful." Now Hermione had started her list she couldn't stop. It was wonderful to tell Cormac how much she loved him, in a way only he would truly understand. "The way you fight for what you want is beautiful. The way you smile is beautiful. You're beautiful, Cormac McLaggen, and I love you."

Before she knew what had happened Cormac had enveloped her in a hug. She clung onto the back of his robes tightly and pulled him closer. "I love you too," he whispered.

As they cuddled that night on the hospital bed, clinging to one another as though the world would end if they let go, Hermione knew that this was a moment that she would never, ever forget.

The End

Author's Note: Happy endings all around! I may return to this couple in the future for some cute fluffy fics, if I can find the time and inspiration. For now I would like to thank you all for your incredible support and patience. There are still people reading this fic who were here in the beginning…four years ago! The constant reviews, pms and encouragement kept bringing me back for more, and gave me the motivation to keep writing when I could write no more. I've discovered other great Cormac/Hermione writers, and discovered Cormac/Hermione fans who are just great people to chat to! It's been wonderful. Thank you all!