Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Lesson Eleven
Poison
x
"We need to hit the streets before Orochimaru's trail goes completely cold. Those hunter-nin don't know what the fuck they are doing. I realize now that my investigation hit a dead-end because I lacked your knowledge of Konoha but together we can find him."
Tomu had stopped listening to Sasuke five minutes ago. When Sasuke finally ran out of words, Tomu lifted one finger and said, "First, Naruto told you to leave Orochimaru the fuck alone." Two fingers, "Second, even though chakra exhaustion is an easy enough condition to heal with rest, Sakura hasn't dismissed me from the hospital and unlike you and Naruto, I have learned a healthy fear of that woman." Three fingers, "Third, I am still pissed off that you never said anything about Orochimaru." Four fingers, "No."
"No?" Sasuke said as if he could never get used to hearing that word.
"Is that all you heard?" Tomu didn't know how many ways he had to say the same thing to get his point across. Tomu said more slowly, punctuating his words, "I don't give a shit about finding Orochimaru."
"What?" Sasuke asked, outright confused, as if someone pointed to a shuriken and said it was a kunai. What happened to the Tobirama curse? How could this be? "How are you not angry?"
Tomu picked at the loose threading of the hospital sheets to avoid the heated gaze Sasuke bore down on him. "Revenge doesn't bring them back."
Sasuke's glower twisted into a snarl. Tomu had finally betrayed him, just like everyone else.
Tomu watched as Sasuke splintered the door from the hinges as he stormed out of the hospital room. A few seconds later, Tomu wished Sasuke's mad ravings still took up space in the room because now he was alone.
The silence was a constant reminder of what was missing.
"This is mutiny."
Naruto couldn't believe that his ANBU Captains had the gall to gather all of the women in his life in one room to attack him like this. He was on bed rest for crying out loud. This was unfair. Naruto crossed his arms and addressed the individuals in the room as if he was sitting at his desk in the Kage's office. "No, I already made my decision."
Naruto was taken aback when Tsunade slapped his forehead, completely destroying the formality he was trying to establish.
"Look here, brat." Naruto winced. He knew nowadays Tsunade only pulled out that endearment when she thought he was being childish or stupid. "We all agree that Konoha needs to return immediately to a sense of normalcy but none of us can allow you to make that speech tomorrow."
"I'm the Hokage," Naruto argued, but as he said the words Tsunade patted his forehead like a mother to a feverish child.
"Naruto," Sakura did that thing where she put one hand on her hip and wagged a finger in his face. "It will take weeks for your chakra networks to normalize. In the meantime, it would be dangerous for you to even do a shadow clone. You can't, under any circumstances, perform a jutsu until I say it's okay."
ANBU Snake both represented the interests of the ANBU Captains who had collectively agreed that the Hokage was being unreasonably stubborn and to also add a threatening presence to the room that Naruto felt keenly. He felt as if this underhanded attack was her concoction. "This is the situation, Hokage-sama: You chakra signature is so unique and bright to a sensor, that the moment you used your hiraishin technique and the poison took effect, it was as if the sun had gone out over Konoha."
"Seriously, Hokage-sama, haven't you yet learned the basics of chakra suppression?" Sakura asked in exasperation.
"Hey, I do it… outside the village. Why would I suppress my chakra in my own village? That's like telling me I can't walk around my bedroom in my underwear."
There were collective groans from the women in the room.
"Regardless, even the weakest sensor noticed when your chakra went dark, and later when all of your clones disappeared from Konoha. Captain Tiger managed to put teams on all our known spies in Konoha to make sure they didn't leak information we don't want on the outside. During Orochimaru's attack the entire village was locked down and it continues to be so in order to control the flow of information under the guise of 'searching for Orochimaru.'
After the speech tomorrow, we are going to try to return Konoha to "normal" as soon as possible which includes reopening the gate. The general populace will believe you have recovered from the havoc Orochimaru has caused but some sensors will still sense that something is wrong. They might guess you're not at full health. In case your condition does get out, we need to prepare."
Tsunade nodded in agreement. "Naruto, you're on everyone's hit list. If your condition leaks, everyone will realize something is wrong with the Kyuubi and every country you have ever wronged, pissed off, or just trying to get ahead will send assassins. Even our friends will be tempted to exploit this opportunity.
"That is why Shikamaru has developed a plan," Captain Snake explained. "After the speech, Konoha will henge various ANBU agents as you and station them around Konoha at your usual hangout spots to project the illusion of your shadow clones. It won't fool everyone but it will add confusion for potential assassins. They Hyuuga clan will henge themselves as the clones on guard at the Uzumaki compound. Tsunade will henge as you in the office and serve as interim Hokage while you are healing."
"And where will I be?" Naruto asked with his eyes narrowed. He hadn't even gotten to this part of the plan when the other ANBU Captains tried to explain it. He had immediately declared, 'no' when they suggested he forego the speech tomorrow in favor of Tsunade henged as him instead. But of course, Captain Snake had already formulated ways to present their case more carefully.
"Safe," Captain Snake replied simply.
"What the fuck does that mean?" Naruto knew he wasn't going to like this one bit.
"Naruto, no matter what, we need you to heal. Just think of this as an extended vacation," Sakura suggested. Everyone could see that Naruto was losing patience with the evasive maneuvers. It was time to be frank. Sasuke leveled a gaze at the Hokage in the hospital bed. "We're smuggling you out of Konoha."
"WHAT?!"
"We all know it will be extremely hard for you to sit still and do nothing if something goes wrong, which is why we decided you need to recover somewhere where news do not travel." Tsunade answered. "You need to heal. And even if Konoha is burning down, you've got to stay safe."
Sakura turned to Captain Snake. "I heard there is an island that's beautiful this time of year."
"Very beautiful," Captain Snake punctuated.
"No, no, no." Naruto said decisively. There was no way he was going to be taken out of Konoha at a time like this. "What about my children? What about the clan? I can't abandon them. I can't abandon Konoha. What if something really does happen while I'm away?"
"And you come back and get yourself killed?" Captain Snake asked, then her tongue turned so sharp it cut her next sentence into a double meaning, "You would leave your children fatherless?"
A sudden silent conversation flowed between Naruto and that impassive Snake mask. He knew there was only one child she was referring to at the moment.
"I'm the Hokage," Naruto repeated again as if it was the only shield he had left against this brutal assault. It was insanity to take him out of the village even though he secretly agreed that his enemies will never looked anywhere but in the village for him. It was an ingenious plan, only one Shikamaru was capable of, but it required too much of him.
At once, all three women turned their heads to the one person who hadn't spoken yet. Ame leaned against the window with her arms crossed and a sliver of thought running between her brows. Ame had purposely waited for the others to weaken his defenses. Now she was going to go in for the kill.
Ame lifted herself from the window, walked over to Naruto's bed, and sat on the edge. Ame frowned when she placed her hand atop his. She knew the contrast of their complexions by heart. Her father was pale, and weak, and limp under her touch. The strength she was used to in those hands had been drained away.
"You almost died," Ame whispered, accusatory.
"Hey," Naruto said as he attempted to squeeze her hand reassuringly but found that instead, the limb gave a noncommittal tug. They both stared at their hands and Naruto watched as Ame's squeezed his instead.
Ame's hold tightened in anger. "You almost died and I would not have even gotten a chance to say goodbye. I was too far away. I couldn't save you. I felt so helpless and afraid and…" Ame suddenly drew a dry breath and broke down into tears.
Naruto broke down with her. "I'm so sorry," Naruto apologized as he wrapped his arms around his scared teenage daughter.
Many considered him the strongest shinobi in the world, but even Naruto had his limits. Naruto pressed his face into his daughter's hair and whispered hoarsely, "Okay."
Naruto pouted as he watched Hinata activate her byakugan and uproot all of his hiraishin kunai he had hidden over the island. "If I can't use chakra, this means you're basically stranding me here."
"You could swim."
"Very funny." Naruto winced when she found the last of his kunai.
Hinata checked the fridge to make sure it had enough ramen to keep Naruto content for weeks. "Sakura will visit you in a few days to check on your progress."
"Wait, you're not going to stay the night?" Naruto asked in alarm.
"Naruto," Hinata said with a hint of amusement. "The Hokage is out of Konoha. Someone has to protect it."
"Seriously?!" Naruto didn't think he's ever spent a night alone on the island before. "And what did you mean back there about leaving my child fatherless?"
"Naruto, if you die, the village will undoubtedly fall to war. That's not a conducive environment to have a child," Hinata chastised him.
Naruto frowned at the implication. "How am I supposed to stay here with you pregnant?"
"At the moment you are far more vulnerable than I am. I'm not going to suddenly go into labor at two months."
Naruto rubbed his face at the frustration of it all. The recent spiral of events had caught him up in an uncontrollable whirlwind. He wasn't used to not being in control. "I'm sorry. I didn't see Orochimaru coming."
The byakugan user cringed and shared the Hokage's sense of failure as she whispered, "I didn't see him either."
"I'm not going to make the same mistake," Naruto determined. "He's not going to catch me by surprise again." After all, he had several long weeks of recovery to think of a plan to counteract Orochimaru.
"No," Hinata already knew what he was planning to do. "Use this time to rest. We will deal with Orochimaru after you have healed. Just, please, don't do anything stupid." Then she disappeared with the hiraishin kunai.
Naruto grunted as he collapsed back onto the bed to the smell of Hinata seeped into the pillow. It suddenly occurred to him that for the first time in years he was truly alone. He didn't have a shadow clone deployed and he no longer had the Kyuubi. It was just him – whole, and memories from various shadow clones that could easily add up to thousands of years.
He always hated the quiet.
"Healing like normal people sucks."
The sudden knock snapped Tomu awake. He gasped out of sleep, searched around the room, and felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach at the sight of the hospital drab walls around him. He could have sworn Mushi's warmth had been sleeping right beside him. He could have sworn that the smell of her hair was in his nose. He could have sworn it had all been just some terrible nightmare.
Tomu's shoulders sunk at the realization that the nightmare was never going to end. His head snapped up when the door opened. Captain Tiger walked into the room.
"Shit," Tomu cursed as he scrambled up from the bed, stood and greeted the Captain with an awkward bow. He could feel the breeze in the back of his hospital robe. Tomu had always suspected that the Captain knew who he was but the man had never acknowledged it. After all, Tomu highly doubted that Naruto would assign him to a Captain who wasn't aware of his sharingan. It was surreal to suddenly confront him without the mask.
"At ease," the Captain ordered.
Tomu slowly drifted back down to sit on his bed.
"I understand this is a violation of protocol but considering the circumstances I felt in my right to break them." Without hesitation, the Captain immediately disclosed the plan to keep the Hokage safe from possible assassination attempts.
Tomu had to admit it was a very detailed and complex plan. He was surprised Naruto agreed to go along with it. "Where is Naruto right now?"
"To prevent the possibility of leaks only a select few are privy to that information." Which meant even Captain Tiger didn't know.
Tomu knew the Captain wasn't in here to give him flowers and wished him to get better soon. "What do you need me to do?"
"Dr. Haruno has not cleared you from the hospital but an ANBU Captain outranks her. I know you've had a bad day but with the Hokage out of the village, I need you on the streets now."
Tomu stared at the Captain who had the gall to summarize the death of his wife and unborn child, almost death by chakra exhaustion, and his unwanted confrontation with the most infamous ninja in the world as just a fucking bad day.
The Captain must have noticed the change that came over Tomu's face. "We all have bad days kid. Regardless, there's work to do."
The words were automatic, an instinct bred after five years in service, "Yes, sir."
Tomu frowned after he said the words, but he picked himself up, and out of habit, force his body forward.
Sasuke overturned the couch and it tumbled angrily into the coffee table. They hadn't left even a scrap of paper. All of Orochimaru's notes and journals had already been confiscated out of Tomu's apartment. He had turned the apartment upside down hoping that they had missed something. Nothing.
Sasuke gritted his teeth in frustration. Most likely they had moved the documents to the ANBU underground. When he was imprisoned, they had taken his mask, flak jacket, and katana. Without his mask it would be impossible to gain access to the documents. Sasuke decided that in the end it didn't really matter. He had already gone over those documents a hundred times and they hadn't yielded a clue. He would somehow find Orochimaru even if he had to search every fucking street.
As Sasuke walked out of the apartment, he spotted a shadow following him at a distance in his peripheral vision. Sasuke found himself annoyed and more than irked by its presence. He wouldn't be able to find Orochimaru with Konoha following behind him. Judging by the safe distance the ANBU maintained, it was probably a Hyuuga.
"ANBU," Sasuke taunted and pointed to a house on the other side of the street. The lights were on and probably occupied. Then he sucked in a breath. The ANBU was before him so fast that the fire prematurely died as a scratch of ash in Sasuke's throat.
"If you bring harm to the citizens of Konoha, you will immediately be eliminated."
Sasuke licked the unspent smoke on his lips and asked mockingly, "Naruto can't even use chakra to activate the seal he's embedded in my shoulder. Who exactly is going to stop me? You?"
Sasuke noted the ANBU's slick narrow build and short hair brushed back into a ponytail. But his suspicions were confirmed when a light breeze brought the smell of the ANBU's honey-lavender shampoo. "You didn't fare too well against me last time, Hyuuga."
"This does not need to be a confrontation. I have been assigned to supervise you while you still remain in Konoha."
Taking advantage of the split second before a Hyuuga activated their byakugan, Sasuke rushed forward and full body-tackled the unsuspecting Hyuuga. Sasuke slapped his hand against the mask and slammed the ANBU's head back into the stone wall. The blow had been so hard, blood smeared along the stone when the ANBU sagged. Sasuke knew for a certainty his opponent was currently suffering the ill effects of a minor concussion.
Sasuke moved to disable the Jyuuken, but found his hand unexpectedly slapped to the side as the Hyuuga fought the lights swimming in his eyes. Sasuke countered, slammed a knee into his opponent's gut and stole the air from the ANBU's next attack. Sasuke twisted up the Hyuuga's wrist, stabbed the fine point of the kunai into the center of his palm at the chakra point, and pinned it viciously into the stone. Sasuke followed with the other hand until he had the Jyuuken hands of the Hyuuga completely immobilized.
Then Sasuke took the Crane mask off Hohei's face.
Now that he had the boy at his mercy, Sasuke grabbed him roughly by the chin. Sasuke demanded, mockingly, "Are you going to stop me little Hyuuga?"
Hohei gave a defiant gaze in return and that impassive mask Sasuke was so used to seeing on the boy's face broke into a scowl and kneed Sasuke in the groin. Sasuke jolted back at the pain. He hadn't seen the blow coming because he was so sure he had already beaten his opponent.
Hohei kicked back and snatched his hands through the kunai. They bled in droplets on the cobblestone. Hohei attempted to flex them but they only twitched pathetically. The alley lit with the green glow of healing chakra and the skin of his hands began to knit back together.
Sasuke looked up as Hohei activated his Jyuuken and prepared his stance. Sasuke adjusted his pants with a dark glower. The boy was going to pay for that. But he was mildly amused that the boy thought he had a chance.
Sasuke sucked in a breath and as expected, Hohei pressed a foot forward, "Eight Trigrams Revolving Heaven," and spun so fast the jutsu shielded against the fire.
But whose stamina was greater? Sasuke didn't let up, but burned his katon jutsu greater and hotter as it poured over the Hyuuga. It continued for several minutes until Hohei finally faltered and rolled with a water jutsu to shield himself. Hohei looked up as Sasuke descended with a raikiri.
Sasuke found himself impressed when a lightning jutsu of equal power canceled out his own. Lightning danced off Hohei's fingertips and the air stilled in shock. Sasuke jolted back and caught Hohei's kick against his forearm. Sasuke paused when he shook arm and could feel the flow of chakra within it congest and stutter. He suddenly realized that the Jyuuken technique extended to Hohei's feet.
And very soon learned, it also extended to the elbows and any striking joint. It made for a curious and suddenly unpredictable fighting style. Sasuke never once in his life characterized a Hyuuga as unpredictable.
Sasuke flipped back on his good hand as sweat dripped down his forehead. Without his sword, fighting close range was fatal. "I see the Hyuuga have finally evolved the Jyuuken after thousands of years."
"It's called the Gentle Crane Style," Hohei replied, to both educate the Uchiha arrogance and to catch a quick breath. There was a reason why the Hyuuga Clan Head, despite the flaws in his vision, chose him as one of her protégés.
"Non-gentle Crane Style," Hohei's fingertips lit up with lightning. He thrust an arm forward and Sasuke's eyes widened when he barely evaded the lightning strike that had grazed past so explosively, his left ear was still ringing from the attack. Sasuke realized suddenly that the Hyuuga was no longer dangerous at just close-range.
Sasuke sped through hand seals and two walls thrust up from the ground in front of and behind Hohei, catching him in the middle. Then the top of the trap closed and began to minimize. Hohei studied the jutsu with his byakugan. There was a flaw in its formation, no doubt because of the earlier strike he managed to land on Sasuke's arm. With ease, Hohei touched the flaw, injected chakra to disrupt its pattern, and the entire jutsu came crumbling down in seconds.
Sasuke cringed. He knew it hadn't been constructed as perfectly as it could have been due to the constant seizing of his chakra network in his right arm. Although the dirt wall crumbled faster than expected, it gave Sasuke time to prepare another jutsu.
Hohei stumbled when a sharp pillar of earth slammed out the wall behind him, penetrating through his blind spot, and skewering him in the stomach. Hohei's knees dropped and hung limped, scraping his hands around the stake that had him pinned.
Sasuke released the jutsu and Hohei dropped to the ground. Sasuke walked over and crouched atop Hohei. "Heal yourself before you bleed out," Sasuke commanded.
Hohei hand shook as he pressed his hand against his stomach and closed the fatal wound. After it was done, Sasuke lifted Hohei's hand and caressed over the lithe fingers. He could still feel the remnants of warmth from the healing chakra. "All these years and the Hyuuga haven't done anything about that blind spot?"
"It's not easy," Hohei attempted to explain as his gaze followed the way Sasuke stroked his fingers. Neji was the only Hyuuga who has managed to close his bind spot. It wasn't a simple thing to do.
Sasuke leaned forward and berated the young Hyuuga who thought he had a chance, "You're not good enough," and then proceeded to snap back Hohei's middle finger in a perfect ninety-degree angle.
Hohei didn't flinch. It was a testament to his ANBU training that prepared agents to withstand the pain of torture. Although Sasuke was fairly sure Tomu couldn't lay still as someone being pampered with a massage while Sasuke broke every single one of his fingers.
Sasuke dropped Hohei's hand and the mangled fingers twisted in every direction. With both hands broken, Sasuke ensured Hohei couldn't make a seal, much less heal himself. Then Sasuke reached an arm under the boy's leg and broke the bone clean.
Hohei didn't make a sound as if breaking a leg happened every day. Sasuke had to admit he admired the kid's resiliency. Hohei lost and accepted the punishment without complaint. Now, Sasuke was absolutely certain he could no longer be followed.
Sasuke lifted the glasses from Hohei's face, dropped them on the ground, and crushed them underfoot.
"That's just spiteful," Hohei muttered.
"That's for kicking me in the balls."
"You could have just killed me. I didn't think the Uchiha would bother to expend so much effort to immobilize me so… thoroughly."
Sasuke had been walking away from the alleyway and paused at Hohei's words. It would have been a lot simpler just to kill him. But he didn't. Sasuke shook his head. "You're not my target."
"At least a Hyuuga knows their blindspot," Hohei said with such smugness it was as if he had won.
Sasuke whipped around, snapped back his leg, and kicked Hohei in the face so hard he flipped on his stomach and landed with a broken jaw. "You talk too much Hyuuga."
Now, he had a snake to find.
Tomu had to go to his apartment and retrieve his ANBU gear. It was a testament to how much he was on auto-pilot when he had no reaction to the sight of the wreckage in his apartment. He grabbed his things and quickly left before the gaping hole of what was missing caught up to him.
The humid night air was suffocating. Timid droplets of rain began to drip into his hair. Tomu decided he would start with the Red Lights District and see what rumors were floating around the streets. Tomu didn't make it two blocks when he noticed signs of a battle that had been fought between two high-level ninja. A battle of that magnitude was never a good thing. There was always death involved.
Tomu activated his sharigan and followed burnt cobblestones into an alleyway. Tomu raced toward the unconscious figure he saw with his sharingan, but anyone else would have overlooked it hidden in the shadows. At first sight, his sharingan noticed everything all at once: the blood, the bone peeking out of the man's thigh, shattered glass, fingers distorted unnaturally, the fallen ANBU mask, and his face.
"Hohei, what happened?" Tomu scrambled forward as he pulled his best friend into his arms. Hohei's head lolled against Tomu's chest as his eyes dragged open. For a brief second, a memory of Mushi limp in his arms had him shaking. "Who did this?" Tomu demanded hoarsely.
Hohei didn't answer but Tomu had noticed the burns, the fresh smell of overturned earth, and the crackle of lighting in the air. There was only one person with such an arsenal of jutsu.
Now, Tomu was angry.
After Tomu dropped Hohei off at the hospital, he hit the streets looking for his deranged psychotic cousin.
Sasuke wasn't that hard to find. The man glared at everything and everyone as if that somehow would help him find Orochimaru. From the rooftops, Tomu followed Sasuke along the street, until he suddenly turned a corner and Sasuke was gone.
"Shit," Tomu cursed when he picked himself up from his crouch. Then he noticed a purposeful sound and turned to find that Sasuke had joined him on the roof.
"Have you finally decided to help me with Orochimaru?" Sasuke asked, irksome that his efforts had yielded nothing thus far.
Tomu knew he would never be able to beat Sasuke in a physical fight, but his fists were clamped with a snaking rage he rarely experienced. "He was my best friend, Sasuke."
Sasuke could have rolled his eyes at Tomu's melodrama. "I didn't kill him."
Tomu couldn't fathom the insanity of the fact that Sasuke didn't see any wrong in what he had done. "You broke his fingers, cracked a rib, broke his leg, and broke his jaw."
"The boy's a ninja. Bones heal."
"You don't get it!" Tomu yelled at him. He was frustrated by Sasuke's apparent nonchalance and disregard for human life. "You can't just hurt people because you feel like it! Sasuke Uchiha doesn't deserve a fucking award for letting someone live."
Sasuke sneered. "No one in Konoha cared when my family was massacred. No one cared about their deaths. Why should I care about anyone else's?"
"That was years ago! Stop making excuses to justify your right to hurt people. Just fucking stop, Sasuke. I know Hohei was sleeping with you on order of the village but it would have never come to that if Konoha didn't think you'd kill anyone who you found annoying."
"Wait what?" Sasuke asked, suddenly caught off-guard. It certainly explained why Hohei didn't put up much of a fight after the first time he forced the boy to his knees. He clenched a hand together in anger. It was Iraiya all over again. For a mission. For Konoha. If Sasuke had known this during his encounter with the Hyuuga, Hohei probably would be dead.
"Why am I the only one that deserves your anger?! Orochimaru killed your wife! Konoha threw the Hyuuga at me as if throwing a boy in a den of wolves. After I raped him, not only did Konoha do nothing, but evidently, they ordered him to suck my dick every night after."
Tomu's jaw dropped open and took a stumbling step back.
"And Mushi knew," Sasuke came to the sudden realization. "She kept inviting him over. She was complicit in pimping her best friend out for the "interests" of Konoha. WHY AM I THE FUCKING MONSTER?!"
Tomu opened his mouth, unable to formulate a proper argument other than blind ones fueled by his emotions. Because in the end, Sasuke was right. He was a monster in a village filled with them. He had witnessed how Sasuke's erratic behavior had mellowed before the wedding. He had wrongly assumed that whatever secret relationship Sasuke and Hohei had going was a good thing, a healthy thing. But he had been horribly wrong. Sasuke's stable behavior was far more important to Konoha than the body of one Hyuuga. A decision made by, if Tomu had to hazard a guess which Captain's jurisdiction was in charge of watching Sasuke, Captain Tiger himself.
Tomu closed his eyes and held onto his anger. "You raped him?"
Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "He was there." Even now, Sasuke considered himself to be fairly progressive than he had been before. In the past, he wouldn't have even called it rape. Rough sex, maybe.
"If I could kill you, I would," Tomu hissed under his breath and couldn't stop the mangekyou from activating frenetically under his eyelids. "You disgust me. I don't want you in my life anymore."
"Orochimaru killed your wife and unborn child," Sasuke repeated again. It didn't make sense. How was he seen as the Greater Evil. Why was he being ostracized and betrayed like this?
"And she is dead! And nothing is going to change that. But Hohei is alive, and I can stop you from hurting everyone close to me."
"Is this because I couldn't protect you? I should have told you about Orochimaru," Sasuke conceded. "Next time I promise I will-"
"LISTEN TO ME!" Tomu demanded as he angrily punched Sasuke in the face just to get him to stop talking. "Hohei is my friend. You hurt him. We're done. That's it. There's no more argument. I don't want ever see you again."
"No," Sasuke snarled. Tomu didn't get to determine when they were done with each other. It was Tomu who was twisted up inside with logic that somehow made Sasuke worse than Orochimaru. Sasuke angrily twisted his hand through Tomu's shirt.
"Do it," Tomu mocked and turned his bare cheek to Sasuke and waited for the hit. "Hurt me like you hurt everyone else. You've pushed everyone else away." Then Tomu scowled, "Or kill me like you killed your brother."
Sasuke unsheathed the tanto from Tomu's hip. And for a brief moment, Itachi's dying smile pinned on his sword flashed vivid in his memory. Sasuke caught an intake of breath and the sword rattled on the ground.
"I'm just trying to protect you." The rain began to pull into his eyes. He slackened his grip on Tomu's shirt. Tomu was angry, furious, at him. "How do I make this right?"
"Leave Konoha." Tomu said as he snatched his sword from the ground and sheathed it. "And never return."
Sakura had just put away her umbrella and thrown off her heels after a long day at the hospital when there was a knock on the door. Sakura grumbled when she swung the door open with a demanding, "What?"
Sakura jolted at the sight of Sasuke dripping wet on her doorstep. For a moment, Sakura couldn't process the sight. Once she got her wits about her, or at least decided not to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming, she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe.
Sasuke looked up at Sakura. He opened his mouth to say something but couldn't find the words.
Sakura gave an exasperated huff. It was ironic how many years they spent searching to bring him back only to want him gone the moment he had finally returned. "Why don't you just leave Konoha, Sasuke? At least outside those gates you don't have to look me in the face and own up to the apology I have long deserved. At least you don't have to come begging at my doorstep when you have no place to go."
Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, to reply, to defend himself… but nothing came out.
He didn't have anywhere else to go. He was no longer ANBU. Tomu had kicked him out. He couldn't return to the compound. He didn't even know why he was here in the first place.
"You're pathetic, Sasuke."
Sakura couldn't believe it took her years to figure that out. Finally, she opened her door.
Sakura was honestly surprised to find Sasuke still curled up on her couch the next morning. He was awake, staring at the edge of the coffee table but didn't move as Sakura made her way downstairs. She had thirty minutes before she had to get work, but before rushing out, she always started the day with a cup of coffee.
Sakura sat down in the armchair with coffee in hand and looked down on Sasuke as if he was a stray dog dirtying up her couch. "I'm guessing this has something to do with the Hyuuga in my hospital," Sakura sipped her coffee nonchalantly. She didn't expect Sasuke to reply. "The bones were clean breaks. Impressive."
"Tomu didn't think so," Sasuke grumbled as he turned away from her and stared at the flower pattern of her couch.
"You know, ever since the war, those three have been joined at the hip. With Mushi gone, both boys are hurting. It doesn't surprise me that Tomu finally reached his limit. We all do with you, sooner or later."
Sakura finished her coffee and stood to her feet. "I sent a message to your therapist. You have an appointment at two."
Sakura gave one last look behind her before she walked out the door. It was almost a relief to look at Sasuke again and not feel that rush of giddiness that came with a childhood crush. It was almost an equal relief to not feel the righteous fire of anger even though she had every right to it. All she felt was pity.
Before going to the hospital, she made a detour at the Hokage's Tower. Sometime throughout the day she was going to have to stop by the Inuzuka compound where the kids had been staying the night, supposedly to help. The Inuzuka were currently housing the Aburame and helping to rebuild the hive. Sakura didn't want her kids around Sasuke and decided they were actually better off with their grandmother this time around.
When she entered the Hokage's office she was amused to find the Hokage huffing under clouds of paperwork already beginning to gather in the office.
"You know, Naruto doesn't drink. If you're passing as him, you're going to have to hide the sake better than that," Sakura chastised when the sight of Tsunade pouring a cup of sake behind the desk became clearer as she walked further into the office.
"This job is already giving me headaches," Tsunade bemoaned.
"Did a rogue-ninja suddenly go missing?"
Tsunade's head snapped up. "Please tell me you've found the Uchiha."
"He's sleeping on my couch," Sakura answered as she moved to the bookcase. She moved a book that Tsunade had carved out to hide her stash from Shizune and grabbed an extra cup. Sakura dropped down into the seat in front of her mentor. Tsunade lifted the sake bottle from behind the desk and shoved it in Sakura's direction.
"Thank Kami. I can't believe that brat has him in Konoha, and now he's my headache."
"Naruto had his reasons," Sakura replied as she drank sake with the Kage in the early morning. Sakura lifted the cup and toasted, "To fucked up teammates."
With Orochimaru running around loose, Tsunade couldn't agree more. "To fucked up teammates."
Dr. Yamanaka smiled when Sasuke came into his office. Sasuke wasn't one of his easiest patients but he had grown concerned for him during him absence. Dr. Yamanaka watched as Sasuke collapsed faced down into the duvan, forgoing his usual tradition of first studying any new changes in the room.
"It's good to see you again," Dr. Yamanaka said sincerely.
"Hn." Sasuke grunted from the pillow.
Dr. Yamanaka waited. He took down notes from his last appointment. He rearranged his schedule for tomorrow's psychiatry conference. He finished his coffee.
After almost an hour, Sasuke finally turned his head and whispered, "I can't do anything right."
"We live in a village that pays people to kill for a living. Who's to say what is wrong or right?"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "They don't understand. I need to kill Orochimaru. I need to hunt him down and burn him dead."
"Why?" Dr. Yamanaka asked.
"Why?" Sasuke asked as if that should have been obvious. "Because he-" Sasuke paused. Naruto was the one who got hurt. It was Tomu's wife who had died. "Because."
"You're willing to chase Orochimaru to the ends of the earth just because?" Dr. Yamanaka highlighted the insanity of it. "You're not being honest with yourself and it's not until you are can we figure out what is wrong or what is right for you."
Sasuke stared down his hands. Why was he so fucking angry? Sasuke waded through the complex web of his emotions. The moment he saw Naruto lying there helpless, he had a burning need to exact vengeance against Orochimaru. To see light go out in Tomu's eyes, it became all the more urgent. It had something to do with Naruto and Tomu.
His eyes widened.
"Because he almost took them away from me. I almost lost my family all over again."
He didn't understand it before. He didn't understand his anger. He didn't understand his fear. It had been just a knot of emotions he couldn't sort through until he finally managed to put them to words.
"I have to hunt down Orochimaru to make sure he never harms them again. I have to make sure Orochimaru doesn't get to Tomu like he got to me. Tomu doesn't understand now but one day he will. I'm doing this to protect him."
"Does Tomu want your protection?" Dr. Yamanaka asked curiously.
"No," Sasuke said in frustration. "Hunting for Orochimaru has only managed to push Tomu away."
"Who is more important? Tomu or Orochimaru?"
Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, then he closed it. Dr. Yamanaka narrowed his eyes. "Something else is going on here. If you are truly hunting Orochimaru for Tomu's sake then Tomu is your main priority and you should be willing to respect his wishes. But something else is drawing you to Orochimaru. Say it honestly, as best you can, why do you need to kill Orochimaru?"
Sasuke stared at his hands. The doctor made a reasonable argument. If Tomu's well-being was so important to him then why was it so hard to choose Tomu over Orochimaru? The moments ticked by with Sasuke unable to formulate a response.
Then the doctor's timer buzzed.
"See you tomorrow?" Dr. Yamanaka asked imploringly.
Coming back, Sasuke thought it would be awkward. He hadn't seen the doctor since the day Orochimaru appeared to him in Konoha. He was afraid that the doctor could no longer be trusted. But Sasuke fell into the familiar rhythm as if Orochimaru had never come to disrupt it.
"Tomorrow," Sasuke said finally.
"The last time Orochimaru was in Konoha we suffered many casualties but Konoha did not fall. He did not defeat us. Nor will he defeat us this time either. Sooner or later, there will be no more holes for that man to hide in," The Hokage proclaimed atop the Hokage's Tower to the cheers of the crowd. "And finally let us thank the hero who not only drove off Orochimaru but activated a kekkai genkai Konoha had long thought lost: Uzumaki Tomu!"
It was as if Tomu had swallowed a rock when he stepped forward with his sharingan, for the first time, out in public. Everyone had seen Amaterasu yesterday. It was no longer a secret.
The cheers suddenly decomposed into an awkward silence. From this distance, Tomu was glad he couldn't see the gobsmacked stares and suspicious scrutiny. Finally, one part of the crowd began chanting his name and waving their arms to try and get his attention. Tomu smiled at the sight of the Uzumaki Clan, out in full force today, wreaking havoc.
Cheers from the civilians soon followed, who had a fonder memory of the Uchiha from their interactions with the police force. Then the ninja finally relented.
Tomu gave a great sigh of relief when he finally stepped back. Then his mangekyou caught sight of something in the corner of his eye. Tomu turned as a body suddenly materialized out of the puddle yesterday's rain had left on the roof. Instinctively, Tomu hands moved to form a jutsu but ANBU Hound moved much faster.
To the shocks and gasps of the crowd, Captain Hound beheaded the man, sheathed his sword and suggested to the Hokage, "I think it's time to wrap-up."
"Orochimaru can't defeat Konoha. No one can defeat Konoha," The Hokage said smoothly and motioned to the corpse. Then she turned on her heels and her posse quickly followed after her. Tomu took one glance at the dead man's face and rushed after her with a dread in his stomach.
This was going to be a shitstorm.
"Find out who that man is now." The Hokage said as she stomped down the stairs.
Just a few minutes of static silence over the radio, until an answer came, "He's a ninja of the Momochi Clan."
"ANBU, immediately detain the clan," The Hokage ordered.
Tomu's ANBU tattoo began to burn.
"You a Uchiha too?" The sushi "butcher" asked sarcastically when Sasuke sat down on the stool, his stomach grumbling. He hated the food here but evidently everyone else in Konoha did too because the small stand was normally empty of customers. He enjoyed the emptiness of it.
"He's a Uzumaki," Sasuke retorted bitterly.
"Same thing," Mizumi Houzuki answered as she dropped a plate of shredded salmon in front of him.
On his way back from his therapy session, Sasuke had bumped into the crowd of people watching the Kage's speech, of who Sasuke knew very well was not Naruto. He was not surprised that they finally went public about the sharingan.
Sasuke broke apart his chopsticks. The food looked ugly, but the taste of it was adequate and cheap enough to pay with the money Sakura had left him. He didn't like the idea of using her money, but he had none himself, and would not lower himself to stealing.
"I remember the third shinobi War. I was just a genin in that one but mist ninja hated the Uchiha because they could see through the mist with their damn sharingan. We always targeted them first. Tough bastards. By the way, how is Tomu holding up? I heard he lost his wife."
Sasuke grunted in response.
The bell chimed when three more customers walked in. Sasuke turned a curious eye and wondered if they knew where they had wandered into. Suddenly five people at the stand seemed a crowd and he was ready to leave.
Sasuke paused when he noted a kunai brandished out in the open in one of the ninjas hands. The leader declared, "You tried to assassinate the Hokage."
"That was a member of the Momochi Clan."
"Same thing," the man said, flinging back words she had just spoken moments ago. Mizumi's hand tightened on the knife she had been using to cut fish as the three men tossed over chairs and kicked a hole through the wood of the stand.
Sasuke didn't understand why she wasn't fighting back. This was childish and nonsensical and he wanted to eat. Then one snatched at her hair and pulled her forward, slamming her face into the table. "Let's see if this bitch bleeds water when she loses her other arm." They wrenched the knife from her hand.
Now this was getting ridiculous.
The small stand was suddenly lit with the weight of Sasuke's killing intent. The ninja dropped the knife as all three lifted their eyes to stare at him. It was suffocating and burned so fiercely that it threatened to peel back the skin on your arms. It was a killing intent that burned so hot it felt as if your skin was peeling back just under the weight of it.
"I'm eating," Sasuke said two words but they were a thinly laced threat that clearly communicated, 'I will kill you and I will make sure it's long and torturous.'
The ninja stumbled from the stand confused but knew they were out of their league facing down what had to be an A-class or higher. They stumbled over their own feet running out the door.
Mizumi stared at him with a loose jaw before blinking. If there was one thing deeply ingrained within a Mist's ninja's psyche, it was not to ask questions.
"Why didn't you fight back?" Sasuke asked, as if angry for her.
"If I fought back, that would have been on the Houzuki Clan and we'll be worse off in the end," Houzuki answered, then she picked up her butcher knife. "Thanks. You didn't have to do that."
"I'm hungry," Sasuke answered snidely and then unconsciously caught himself on that lie. How often did he lie to himself as the doctor had claimed? How hard was it to tell the truth? Why was he angry? He attempted to carefully analyze his actions. "Konoha used to treat a friend of mine like that when he was younger. I regret never doing anything about it."
"Well, from now on, you eat for free," Mizumi declared.
Sasuke looked around the empty stand. "How do you even make money?"
Mizumi laughed. "I have plenty of money. For generations the Houzuki clan have cultivated oysters for pearls and we still have non-ninja family members out on our ancestral island continuing the business. Behind the Akimichi and Hyuuga, the Houzuki is one of the richest clans in Konoha."
Mizumi slammed her knife down.
"I just like to cut things."
Sasuke immediately noted the tense atmosphere once he walked outside the next morning. ANBU were spotted everywhere and they weren't bothering to hide themselves. They must have brought in ANBU from other divisions to help maintain the peace. Nothing that really happened in Konoha affected Sasuke nor did he really concern himself about its affairs. But Tomu was involved and that bothered him.
Sasuke entered the office where Dr. Yamanaka was seated, his glasses hanging low on his nose. Sasuke entered the room to a warm greeting and sat down.
"I was thinking we should start where we left off yesterday. Let's discuss Orochimaru."
Sasuke frowned.
"What metaphor would you use to describe Orochimaru?"
"He's a snake," Sasuke said without hesitation. "A snake that bites his fangs deep into your skin and leaves a poison the gradually drives you insane."
Then the doctor said gently, "Even if you kill the snake, you're still poisoned."
Sasuke drew his brows together flustered as the doctor put his need to kill Orochimaru further into perspective. "Then what do I do?"
"Build a tolerance. We need to deal with the scars he's left on you. To overcome the poison he's injected you with, you've got to talk about it. You've got to confront the past."
"Fine," Sasuke shrugged his shoulders, not truly comprehending the ordeal he had agreed to.
"Let's start with the first time you met Orochimaru."
Sasuke opened his mouth and when nothing came out, he realized this was going to be harder than he thought. He clenched his fists.
"You need to talk about Orochimaru. You need to confront the poison head on. And it will hurt and it will be painful but you'll be stronger for it in the end."
The Doctor was right. Sasuke knew he needed to defeat this control Orochimaru had over him.
"Kakashi warned me. I knew there was something not right about the guy but all that was important was that he was a Sannin, he was powerful, and I wanted that. I met him during the genin exams and all I saw was this guy who had broken away from Konoha and grown unbelievably powerful. It led me to believe that maybe my problem was Konoha, maybe it was Konoha holding me back from my full potential. Then Naruto defeated Gaara and… I lost it. I had been working all my life and yet the dead last had caught up to me. I wasn't making any progress. I felt stuck in place and that the only way out was out of Konoha."
It was odd to look back on these memories now. He said, as if just realizing it himself, "In reality, I had been the one holding myself back. Comparing myself to Naruto had been unfair. He was a natural, just badly trained and abilities often misunderstood because of the Kyuubi. Once those basics were corrected, he was naturally my equal. But I resented him for it and that resentment made it easier for me to let him go. Once I let Naruto go, it was so easy to let the rest of Konoha go. Konoha have never meant anything to me other than a mass grave of dead bones."
Sasuke shrugged his shoulder. "Then there was the Valley of the End. I followed Orochimaru. I didn't know the truth about Itachi. If I had known…" Then Sasuke's voice fell into a strangled high-pitch. "But do you know who the fuck knew about Itachi?! Orochimaru. The entire fucking time! He could have told me the truth. He could have…" Sasuke breathed heavily. The thought had just occurred to him. He didn't have evidence that Orochimaru knew about Itachi's involvement but how could he not? He kept the medicine a secret from Juugo for years but he was too stupid and egotistical to believe Orochimaru would do the same to him. Oh kami, he couldn't breathe.
"Let's take a break," Dr. Yamanaka said at the sign of distress across Sasuke's face. "I'll make some tea."
Sasuke tensed when the doctor got up from his chair and used a jutsu to boil water in a teapot. When Dr. Yamanaka sat down with the tea, Sasuke mumbled, "I don't want to do this anymore."
"This is going to be hard Sasuke but if you give up now, you're letting him win."
"Then maybe he wins," Sasuke snapped. "Maybe I can't defeat him. I can't do this."
"Yes, you can," the Doctor said confidently. "Do you know why? Because you came this morning. Because you opened your eyes and got dressed this morning. Because you're not dead yet. Orochimaru has not defeated you yet. Let's wrap-up early today. Tomorrow we'll try to talk about your tutelage under Orochimaru. This way you'll have time to prepare yourself and know what you're going to say."
Sasuke rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, alright."
He felt so exhausted.
Sakura was surprised when she walked into the house to the smell of fresh barbecue. She kicked off her heels and peeked around the corner to the sight of Sasuke lying on the couch listening to the radio.
"I bought dinner," Sasuke grumbled when she entered the room. Sakura looked inside the bag, checked it for poison and then began making her a plate. Then the door slammed open. Sakura looked up with a horrified expression as two streaks of pink hair literally flipped over Sasuke and landed on the floor.
"Why aren't you at your grandmothers?" Sakura demanded and immediately grabbed the boys by the cuff of their collars.
"We smelled barbecue!" Both boys replied in unison.
"Mom?! Who is he? Are you cheating on dad? Is he a ninja? Can we play with him?" Sakura tossed them out the house and threw the barbecue bag out after them. They attacked it like two ravenous dogs and raced down the street with a rib and a chicken leg in each mouth respectively. Sakura slammed the door shut with a deep sigh. Damn the Inuzuka nose.
Sakura sat down nervously at her usual spot and picked at her plate of barbecue.
"Where's Kiba?" Sasuke suddenly asked.
"Dead."
Sasuke turned and tapped a finger against the couch, then he asked, "Where's the guy in the all the photos?"
"You don't have any right to start asking me personal questions," Sakura snapped. "It's not your business."
"Why the fuck did you name that kid Sasuke?"
"Last time I checked, you don't have ownership over that name. Besides, didn't a Sarutobi first claim Sasuke anyways. It started with an 'S'. It paired nicely with Sai. I had just popped two kids out of my vagina. Sasuke seemed like a damn perfectly fine name to me."
Sasuke didn't ask any more questions.
Sakura walked downstairs the next morning to find that Sasuke had already prepared her a cup of coffee. Sakura looked down at it quizzically, picked it up, and settled back into her favorite armchair. This time, instead of curled on the couch like a dejected puppy, Sasuke was hunched over his own mug of coffee. Silently, they enjoyed a mutual appreciation of coffee beans.
"Why?" Sakura finally asked. "Why the barbecue? Why the coffee?"
"I don't like freeloading," Sasuke answered bitterly. It scraped against his shoulders as if he owed some kind of debt. Although not having an income didn't bother him as much when he was living with Tomu. But Tomu was family. That was different. The clan mentality dictated that it was Tomu's responsibility to financially take care of him.
"You know, if you just man up and fucking apologize to Tomu you could probably go home."
Sasuke stared at Sakura perplexed. He had never considered anywhere his home since the day he left Konoha behind. But the thought of sleeping in his own bed, eating dinner with Tomu, residing in the same space pulled at him. "I doubt it's that easy."
"I didn't say you wouldn't have to drop to your knees and beg your way back, Sasuke-kun."
The coffee mug slammed unfinished onto the coffee table.
"Sakura," Sasuke said her name with a sudden edge that immediately had Sakura tense in wariness. She watched as Sasuke's shoulders withdrew a shaky breath.
"Orochimaru calls me that." Then Sasuke lifted from the table and walked out the door, leaving behind Sakura wide eyed and loose jaw.
She never knew.
Sasuke wrung his hands. He's been up all night tossing and turning, preparing the words he was going to say. He sighed, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Sasuke started slow, as if he could control the rhythm of his words he could control the memories that dredged through him. "The entire time I trained with Orochimaru I thought I was in control of the situation, that I was outsmarting him at every turn when in actuality it was the other way around. I was attracted to his thirst for knowledge and all the jutsu he had gathered and theories he had tested. For once, I thought I found someone who understood me. But it was all a lie. He took advantage of my lust for power and I did things."
"What sort of things?"
Sasuke frowned. First he had to explain Orochimaru as if that made his own actions better. "Orochimaru's lust for immortality manifested itself into a lust for children. And he respected power. I was young. I had the sharingan. You can do the math."
"So he raped you?" Dr. Yamanaka asked.
"No. It was my choice. I wasn't a sex slave or delusional like Karin. He did not force me. It was small things at first. Small touches during sparring practice that didn't have to do anything with the fight – my hand, my arm, my leg as if testing what I would put up with. But I was training and learning new jutsu and honestly didn't notice until the touching became… inappropriate."
"The back of his hand would slide against my crotch until one day during practice he began to fondle me. I didn't stop him. I knew it wasn't right. But it was the first time anyone but my own hand touched me and… it was pleasurable. The next day he made it clear what he wanted and stopped training me until he got what he wanted. The fact he stopped training made me angry and I refused until I realized I was standing still again. I had to move forward. There was no going back anymore."
"No going back," Sasuke repeated hauntingly. "I went to his room and saw… he and Kabuto were fucking and even though I'm not stupid it was the first time I truly realized the mechanics of what he wanted from me. I sucked his dick that night. He resumed training. Then he stopped again. He put his dick in me. The first time we had sex it hurt but it got easier. Soon it became the norm that he wouldn't start training until he expended himself. Sometimes he would fuck me all day, on those days he would teach me a new forbidden jutsu and make it worth it. I'd do anything for power and he knew it. The worst part was that he would demand that I activate my sharingan every time. I remember the taste of his cum. I remember how his tongue would curl down my throat. I remember the way he shakes in orgasm." Sasuke's voice took on a tinge of anger. "I remember fucking Orochimaru with more clarity than I remember my own childhood in Konoha."
Sasuke breathed and continued.
"After a year, I gave in. The first year it was about power. The second year it had changed. I began begging for him. I began coming to him. He was the first person to make me feel good in a long time. It helped to forget about the massacre and Itachi.
And it wasn't just sex he demanded. I performed experiments and drugged prisoners for him. I killed. I killed a lot. I wiped out entire villages at the age of fourteen that no one will ever know about. He told me stories about Konoha. How Konoha killed his own parents. He taught me his hatred, fueled my own, and gave me the means to burn the world with it.
Then he began to grow ill. It was then that I realized I hadn't learned a new jutsu in months. I began to question everything. I was at another standstill. It was time to move on. And I knew that the only way forward was to kill Orochimaru."
Sasuke paused and swallowed into his dry throat. "In the end, those two years with Orochimaru didn't make me powerful enough to kill Itachi. Itachi was sick and weak all on his own. Itachi wanted me to kill him. Those two years, and everything I had to do," Sasuke shook his head. "They meant nothing. Orochimaru manipulated me and I was too stupid and self-absorbed to realize it. He took advantage of me and twisted me into a monster."
Sasuke didn't think he could ever bring himself to say these things to Naruto, or Sakura, or Tomu. But he realized he had to fight through the shame, and pain, and pride, in order to say them to himself and come to terms with the fact that his entire tutelage underneath Orochimaru was a complex manipulation for the man's own goals and desires.
Dr. Yamanaka took in all of the information he had just been bombarded with. Then Dr. Yamanaka leaned forward and asked softly, "Why are you chasing Orochimaru?"
"Because he hurt me," Sasuke whispered hoarsely. "Because I'm afraid that I'll never be free of him." His hands were clenched so hard his nails were digging bleeding into his hand.
Dr. Yamanaka said gently, "You have been victimized. You are not at fault for what Orochimaru did to you. He is a despicable man who took advantage of a young boy already suffering from a deep emotional trauma. It's not easy to heal from something like this. It will be a long process and I do believe you can be free of him. But you've got to be the one to let go. If you were to find Orochimaru right now and kill him, the scars he's inflicted on you will still be there."
The doctor leaned forward. "In our second session you had once told me that you no longer wanted to be defined by your anger. You told me that it had been difficult to stifle your anger after Itachi died. Your anger doesn't come from just Itachi's death, it was the pointlessness, the meaningless of it all that had brought you to that point. It was everything you had to sacrifice, everything Orochimaru put you through, that left you raw and vulnerable to that fire inside of you."
"To free yourself, you've got to first let go of your anger."
For years his anger had been a shield and even though it hurt everyone around him it kept him safe, it kept him from no longer getting hurt or betrayed by anyone else. Sasuke shook his head helplessly, "I am nothing without my anger."
"Don't you see? Your anger is the poison."
Sasuke's eyes went wide and his body began to tremble. Anger had been burning bright in him for so long, once it was doused it allowed a host of other emotions he didn't want to attack him: grief, shame, heartbreak, bitterness, sadness, disgust, depression. All these emotions hit him all at once and had him trembling in tears on the floor. Those emotions spread through his body like the bittersweet taste of an antidote.
Healing was a process.
Sasuke hadn't gone straight back to Sakura's place after his appointment. He walked around Konoha for a while, continually circling closer to the Uzumaki compound but never coming close enough. He felt lighter somehow, as if something had been knocked loose in his chest. He rubbed his eyes and pushed open Sakura's unlocked door.
She usually left her door unlock in case the kids came by. Even civilians knew who she was and wouldn't dare break into her house and steal from her. Sasuke paused at the immediate smell of food coming from the kitchen. He took off his shoes and placed them neatly on the shelf, a far cry from where Sakura's heels were flung in the doorway.
Sakura was in the kitchen cooking dinner. It smelled like miso, fish, and vegetable soup. He noticed that the living room was far messier than he had left it this morning and realized Sakura might not have even left for work.
Sasuke sat down on the couch. He wasn't used to such a silent living room. He was used to Tomu immediately coming in from work and popping in one of Killer Bee's cassettes. Sasuke leaned forward and studied Sakura's radio. One the table with the radio, were photos of her, the twins, and the unknown man Sasuke had inquired about before.
Sasuke pressed a button and jolted when static came out the speakers. He grumbled in annoyed frustration as he attempted to get the stupid thing to work. This really shouldn't be that hard.
"You turn the dial," Sakura chuckled and showed him how to turn the dial until it picked up a signal. "You should have seen Naruto when Tomu got one of these for him for his birthday. Broke it in ten seconds." Finally a hint of music began to play. It was a medley of traditional Japanese instruments that calmly filled the room. "I didn't think the great Sasuke Uchiha liked music. I didn't think he liked anything."
"Hn," Sasuke replied. It was growing on him. He returned to the couch, closed his eyes, and allowed the music to wash over him. In his mind's eye, Sasuke could see Tomu pulling Mushi off the couch and rocking her into a slow dance. He was always annoyed with it because it always ended up with them having sex but for several minutes their bodies would get lost in the music and each other and the world couldn't touch them. Sasuke had never known music had such a power.
Sasuke opened his eyes when Sakura placed a tray of dinner down on the coffee table. Instead of sitting in the armchair, she tucked her legs under the coffee table and began to blow the steam off the soup.
"Join me." It was hard to misconstrue it for anything less than a command. As a guest in her house, Sasuke pulled himself off the couch, sat down on the carpet and faced the tray of food. He wondered why they weren't eating at the kitchen table like normal people. He hoped not too much drama would come out of what he had said this morning but he couldn't stand that unbearable nickname any longer.
Sakura studied Sasuke as he was beginning to eat. The more she watched, the more it occurred to her how much she didn't know this man. He wasn't the same boy who had left Konoha all those years ago, and even then, Sakura could barely boast she knew him all that well back then either.
Someone was going to have to break the silence. Sakura finished picking through the bones of her fish with her chopsticks. "So, when are you finally going to get off of my couch?"
Sasuke frowned. It's not as if he wanted to stay here. But it was either this or the streets. Sasuke knew he had often punished her with his silence many times before but he didn't have an answer.
"You know, Naruto and I chased the ends of the world for you. Naruto even further. Because that's how far we were willing to go for someone we thought was a friend. We thought you were worth it. If you care about Tomu, you'd go to the ends and back. You don't give up on family. Seriously, Sasuke, he's the only good thing you have left."
Sasuke shuffled his chopsticks around. "And you?"
"I matter? It's not like you tried to see me when you were forced back to Konoha. It's not as if I'm literally the last person who you would ever go to for help when you've fucked up. I never mattered to you. I was never worthy of your attention. Only Naruto was your equal and because of it, you gave him more respect than you ever did to me," Sakura continued bitterly. "I was a part of Team Seven too. I've healed you, I've fought beside you, I ran after you, I tried to stop you, I tried to kill you, I hated you, I loved you, I-" Sakura paused to suck in a breath because she still had a lot more to say.
"Sakura," Sasuke said against the flurry of emotions that poured from the hurt in her green eyes – the same hurts that kept Naruto from even looking at him. "I'm sorry."
Sakura stared at Sasuke. Years. So many years. Too many years, because even though her anger was still there, it had almost fossilized in her chest. It didn't matter if Sasuke ever said the words or not because she's already moved on.
"I forgave you a long time ago."
He missed Tomu.
There. He finally admitted it. Even admitted it to his therapist. He couldn't live like this anymore. Sakura's couch was comfortable but it wasn't where he wanted to be. Sakura in the end was right, Tomu was the only good thing he had left. He couldn't afford to fuck this up. Sasuke didn't exactly know how to get back into Tomu's good graces but he knew where to start.
Sasuke found himself annoyed when he went by the hospital and found that Hohei had already been checked out and was now residing in the Hyuuga residence. The Hyuuga compound was the last place he wanted to go but he's done a lot of things he didn't want to do in his lifetime.
"I would like to speak with Hyuuga Hohei," Sasuke attempted when he approached the gate.
"Permission denied," both guards said in unison. Even their apparent dislike was in unison.
"I would like to speak with him on behalf of Uzumaki Tomu."
"Permission denied."
Sasuke clenched his jaw in an attempt to get control of his rising anger, he managed in so far as to not punch each one in the face but he couldn't help the way he snapped, "I'm here to fucking apologize."
"Permission granted."
Sasuke blinked in surprise when the guards stepped back and opened the gates. Like the last time he had gained entrance into the compound, a child led him into an empty tea room. He was under no illusions. He knew they were watching him closely. Hohei eventually entered with a crutch and bandaged around each finger. There was a bruise the color of gangrene along his jaw. Hohei's injuries didn't keep him from eyeing Sasuke with a familiar smug look.
At least a Hyuuga knows their blindspot.
"You knew," Sasuke suddenly seethed in understanding. Hohei knew Tomu wasn't going to take too well to his beating. And now Sasuke was here needing the Hyuuga's help to get back into Tomu's good graces. Sasuke refused to admit that the Hyuuga might have won this round.
"I'll tell Tomu you apologized, even begged on your knees, with two conditions," Hohei said outright.
"You think you've outsmarted me, you little shit." Sasuke was trying to keep a handle on his anger but it was hard when he wanted nothing more than to chidori the kid's face in.
"After I heal, it is very likely that Konoha will assign me to you again because I'm the one you didn't kill. First condition, let me do my job. Someone is going to have to watch you. I report your activities to Konoha and you don't beat me up again. Simple."
Sasuke crossed his arms. It wasn't as if it was an unreasonable request. But he hated having someone over his shoulder. "Deal. What's the other condition?"
Hohei's voice was straight deadpanned as he said, "Suck my dick. And when I cum you have to say Hyuuga-sama."
"That's just petty."
"You broke my glasses."
The Uchiha and Hyuuga stared at each other.
Sasuke stood up and stepped over the small tea table. Hohei was forced to catch himself as Sasuke crouched on top of him and yanked his hips forward by the belt of his yukata. With a forceful tug, Sasuke pulled the belt from Hohei's waist. Sasuke watched as the cloth slackened to reveal the discolored bruises that decorated the rest of his body. Sasuke frowned at the sight of it.
Perhaps Tomu had been right. Perhaps he had gone too far.
"Unhenge yourself," Hohei whispered. "I want to see you."
Sasuke hesitated for a moment before he dropped the henge that had become as instinctual as slipping on your shoes before going outside. Sasuke reached between Hohei's leg and ran a hand up his broken limb. Then Sasuke balanced on his knees and bowed between the Hyuuga's legs.
Honestly, it always bothered Sasuke that the Hyuuga was both thicker and longer than him, not by much, but it was a visible reminder that maybe the Uchiha weren't always superior in every aspect. He wasn't stupid. He knew that as the branch members were often raped for the main member's pleasure, the main members were vigorously bred to produce the strongest doujutsu and isolate physical attributes considered beautiful among the Hyuuga. There was no denying that Hohei was a product of that careful breeding.
Sasuke found himself placing the cock reverently in his mouth. He closed his eyes and focused on that taste of it and on how each part of it felt to his tongue. Sasuke bobbed his head and heated his mouth with a minor fire jutsu that sent Hohei's cock arching deep into his mouth. Sasuke looked up and observed the red flush to Hohei's cheeks. Fuck, this kid was beautiful.
Sasuke sucked, twisting his tongue, wanting to taste the boy's flavor. He couldn't get the Hyuuga make a sound when he had tortured him with pain, but the Hyuuga finally broke when he climaxed deep in Sasuke's throat. Sasuke smirked, oddly pleased by the sound of Hohei's ragged moan. Sasuke swallowed and licked the Hyuuga clean. From the taste of his cum, it was obvious the kid had the healthiest diet of anyone's he sucked off. It was bearable.
Hohei gave Sasuke a glazed look. "You forgot my name."
"It was hard to say with cum in my mouth," Sasuke retorted.
"You can't say it can you?"
"Hn," Sasuke replied. He reached forward and pulled the content Hyuuga forward. In seconds, Hohei had lost that post-coital daze. Instead, his eyes tensed in wariness. Sasuke called him a kid but Hohei was taller, long and lithe. "I'm sorry for that night after the bar and everything that happened afterwards. I initiated it. I should not have. I was out of control. And Orochimaru… he… I just wanted…" Sasuke stopped talking because at this point he was beginning to sound stupid. He took a breath and waddled through his words. "The truth of the matter is, you were the one who helped me to retain what little sanity I had when Orochimaru was in Konoha." Sasuke looked Hohei straight in the face and said, "I'm attracted to you."
It took forever for Sasuke to figure this out. He knew he was attracted to Naruto. He knew he preferred to have sex with men because he was used to it with his prior experiences with Orochimaru. But to be physically attracted to someone other than Naruto caught him off-guard. Hohei was nothing like Naruto. It didn't make sense to Sasuke. It made him frustrated, and instead of slowly working this revelation out, it manifested in the worse way when Orochimaru arrived in the village.
Sasuke watched the surprise work its way across the Hyuuga's face. Sasuke timidly massaged his hand behind Hohei's neck and then gently pulled him forward. Sasuke caught Hohei's lips in his mouth and dwelled in the warmth of them. He could still taste the Jasmin tea on Hohei's tongue. But there was resistance to the kiss.
"Sasuke," Hohei managed to breathe when he escaped Sasuke's lips. "There is no such thing as a casual relationship with you. You're not ready and I'm not ready. Trust me, Uchiha, you're not emotionally prepared to go down this road. And I'm afraid if it happens too soon, I might not survive it."
Sasuke wasn't quite sure what he wanted from Hohei. Definitely to take care of this hard-on he was sporting right now, but beyond that, Sasuke didn't know.
Hohei bowed his head, unable to meet Sasuke's coal black eyes, so black it was as if any spark could light them on fire. "You could take me if that's what you want. I'm powerless to stop you. But… I would prefer a professional relationship with you." Hohei's pale eyes looked up at Sasuke, wary, tense, watching the muscles of Sasuke's arms in case they wanted to strike him. "I'm afraid of you."
Sasuke jolted back. It was true. He could see the wide depth of fear in the Hyuuga's eyes, watching how he would take the rejection. Sasuke released him and uncomfortably adjusted the boner in his pants. Sasuke picked himself up and needed to get out of here before he caused any more damage. Sasuke was trying to do better but he honestly couldn't promise the boy that he might never hurt him, or even kill him in the long-run. For Tomu's sake, it was probably best to let this flame go untouched.
"I can still rely on your help with Tomu?"
The Hyuuga nodded. His hands were shaking as he attempted to redress but his healing joints gave him limited movement. Sasuke gave an exasperated sigh. Snatched the sash from the ground and pulled it around Hohei's waist. He fixed the robes and smoothed them out until there were no more wrinkles. Finally, he tied the sash tight and closed the robes.
"Thank you," Hohei whispered.
"Hn."
Tomu groaned when he touched the door knob and swung open. He really didn't want any visitors after his long day of keeping the citizens of Konoha from attacking the first Mist-ninja they see. Tomu dragged his feet through his home. He noticed several things at once: the wreckage he didn't have time to clean up had been replaced with new furniture, both Sasuke and Hohei were in his kitchen, and there a the strong smell of ramen throughout the house.
"What is this?" Tomu demanded, suspiciously.
"Sasuke-san and I have come to an agreement of sorts," Hohei said as he began spreading the utensils out onto the table. "He came to the Hyuuga compound and apologized. We thought we should commemorate the occasion."
"Hohei, cut the bullshit. You shouldn't even want to talk to this guy after he-"
"It was a mission, Tomu. I knew what I was getting myself into," Hohei replied. "Sit down. Let's eat."
Tomu stared at the table where he and Mushi used to eat dinner, where he and Mushi used to fuck after eating dinner. Hohei looked up and outright, purposefully sat in Mushi's chair. Tomu winced. Sasuke watched the exchange and allowed Hohei to take the lead. This was his plan and Hohei assured him that this was going to work.
Sasuke picked up the large bowl of noodles and broth and placed it onto the table. Tomu crossed his arms.
"You can't bribe me with ramen." Then Tomu's stomach growled. "Fuck the both of you."
Tomu slammed down at the table. After his day, a hot bowl of steaming ramen was exactly what he needed right now.
"How is work?" Hohei asked. "I hear ANBU managed to finally stem the number of attacks."
"Work?" Sasuke questioned. "Why are you working? I thought ANBU granted leave for the death of a spouse or child."
"If you haven't heard, Naruto is out the village. All ANBU are reporting in." Tomu answered as he stabbed his chopsticks into his bowl. "Unless you are physically injured," Tomu looked at Hohei, then at Sasuke, "or mentally insane."
"You really shouldn't be working," Sasuke said.
"You of all people don't get to judge me." Tomu snapped and dropped his chopsticks. He was wrong. No amount of ramen was going to make this better.
Hohei nonchalantly reached over and turned on the radio. Instantly, the announcer's voice drowned out Tomu's frustration. "Yo, Four-dog here and do I have a treat for my listeners tonight. Killer Bee has just dropped a surprise single and I have the exclusive."
Tomu's head whipped around so fast you'd think someone knocked it off his neck. "Turn that up," Tomu demanded, staring wide-eyed at the radio. His anger at Sasuke was all but forgotten, for now. Hohei and Sasuke shared a look.
The beat dropped. It was a chill beat, very different from the fast head-banging beats Killer Bee usually rapped over.
With rhymes and a nimble flow Killer Bee described one of the many times he and his brother had a falling out: Broke the window in your office, broke the bones in my jaw, broke a crack in our relationship, loved and hated you raw. Ran away from Kumo, ran away from you, ran away from all of things we used to love to do. I used to be so hard-headed. Now that you're gone, it's too late to say I'm sorry, so I'll write you a song.
Suddenly the chorus kicked in and Tomu's eyes widened at the deeper and smoother melodic voice. He knew that voice, and it wasn't Killer Bee.
Sometimes I break things that can't be fixed. Sometimes I fix things only for them to break. But I keep trying if only for your sake. Sometimes I want you to find me but I stay lost. Sometimes I lose things that will never be found. Keep holding me down.
I know I'm fucked up.
Sometimes I hurt you. Sometimes the pain keeps me sane. Sometimes the pain drives me insane. I'm running away but there's no distance to gain. Sometimes you're the only one I see. Sometimes I only see memories. Don't give up on me.
I know I'm fucked up.
After the chorus, Tomu didn't hear the rest of the song. He simply stared opened mouth in Sasuke's direction who was fiddling with his chopsticks. The song ended, the radio announcer said something, but all Tomu could do was stare. Finally Tomu cleared his throat and said, "Hn."
"Evidently Uchiha's are good at everything," Sasuke shrugged, as if the fact he featured on a song with Killer Bee was no big deal.
Hohei scoffed.
Sasuke combed his fingers through his hair and looked up to face Tomu. "I'm sorry. I'm done chasing Orochimaru. I'm done with revenge. I can't promise that I won't hurt anyone else. All I can promise is that I'm trying."
Tomu let out a deep breath. "Yeah, alright."
They sat and ate ramen for dinner.
x
Even if you kill the snake, you're still poisoned.
Soundtrack: Weight in Gold - Gallant
AN: If you haven't heard this song, definitely take the time to check it out. Big influence for this chapter.
Updated - 12/31/2015