Glenna

Glenna woke up with a stiff neck from falling asleep reading. She had every occult book she could round up from the small and very unorganized collection of books they had in town, but she had not found any answers in any of them. Next to to pile of books was an empty plate. Her mother had taken an extra plate of food from her Aunt Beth's house last night and brought it up to her while she was reading. She couldn't decide who she hated more. Her mother for bringing her the food, or herself for eating it even after she told herself she wouldn't.

She got up and dressed, putting on the same baggy shorts she had on the day before since they were one of the only things she had that fit. Glenna knew most people were looking forward to the summer fesitval, but she was dreading it. She hated wearing white and getting up on stage in front of everyone next to all the other girls that were so much more attractive than her. She didn't even know what she was going to wear. The dress she had worn the year before was so tight now that she couldn't even zip it. And white fabric to make a new one was hard to come by. Glenna had no job and wasn't skilled at any trades, so even if someone had some white fabric, she had nothing she could trade them for it. Her mother was no help, since she couldn't sew anyway. Glenna thought again about asking Sarah's mom, but she knew the woman was already swamped with all the people that were paying her to make them new festival clothes. She probably didn't have time to take on a charity case. When Dixie got back from her run, maybe Glenna would ask her for help. She always knew what to do.

Reaching down to pick up her dishes, Glenna knocked the pile of books on her bed onto the floor, one of them hitting her in the head on the way down. It fell open when it landed on the floor, and the picture it was open to made her jump back in shock. That night in the tree stand, her flashlight had flung around wildly when the walker had been after her. She had seen someone there in the shadows. It had been for a fraction of a second, but she had seen it. And whoever it was had been wearing a mask painted up like the one in this picture. It was black around the eyes and a black nose, with strange markings on the forehead between the eyes. Under the nose, the teeth were painted to look like a skeleton. The man in the picture also wore a necklace made of bones.

Glenna heard a knock at the door downstairs and hurried to mark the page before she shut the book. She could already hear her mother at the door trying to send whoever was there away.

"You can't see her right now, she's sleeping," Maggie was saying.

"No," Glenna called from the steps, "I am right here." She set her dishes down on the bottom step of the stairs and ignored her mother's hateful glance. Carl stepped inside without waiting for Maggie to invite him. The situation here between Maggie and her daughter had been going on long enough, and while he wasn't going to step in more than he felt was necessary, he thought it was time someone did something.

"I had something I wanted to talk to you about," he said to Glenna, "is this a good time?" Glenna nodded.

"This is not a good time," Maggie said, "Glenna needs to do her dishes." Carl took a deep breath and reminded himself to stay calm.

"I am a very busy man these days," he told Maggie, "I have something important I would like to discuss with Glenna. I'm sure the dishes can wait." He took a few steps towards Glenna and led her over to the couch with his hand on her back. She took a seat and he sat down on the couch next to her. He noticed Maggie was still hovering around, not sitting down but not moving to leave the room and give them any privacy.

"As you know, everyone here in Alexandria has a job to do," Carl started. Maggie didn't even let him get another word out.

"My daughter can not leave the walls, she has to stay here were its safe," she started saying, the pitch of her voice rising as she talked faster and faster. "She can't go off for a year like Lori did, she has asthma." Carl took another deep breath. While he thought sending Glenna away for a year might actually be the best thing for her, that was not what he had come here today to talk about. And he understood a mother's instinct to watch over her children. When LoriAnn had left for Hilltop, Sammie had cried in his arms for hours. But she had also let her go because she knew it was the best thing for her. Maggie couldn't seem to get a grip on the idea that sometimes being a mother means knowing when to let go.

"Glenna is not a child anymore," Carl told Maggie, raising his voice just a little to let her know he was not going to be screamed over and hen picked. "If she wants to stay here and live in Alexandria, she has to start contributing to the community." Maggie started in on that right away, saying there were people here that contributed less than they did.

"Like who?," Carl asked her. He doubted she could name a single person. She and Glenna had gotten away with not really having jobs for all this time because Rick and Beth and their kids did so much for the community and people associated Maggie and Glenna as part of that family unit.

"Bob," Maggie insisted, "he gets drunk all the time." Carl nodded, Bob did get drunk a lot, but when he was sober, he trained field medics. Lots of lives had been saved because of him. And Carl knew RickyJo made him work off all the alcohol he got from her by helping her and Jessica out making salves, tinctures and other kinds of herbal medicines.

"Bob trained all the field medics we have," Carl told her, "I don't care what he does on his personal time." You would think Maggie would have more sympathy for the man, since he had lost Sasha around the same time Glen died. Glenna saw her mother was finally taking a breath so she used her chance to get a word in edgewise.

"I want a job," she said.

"You will make yourself sick," Maggie insisted, "you need your rest." Glenna ignored her and turned to Carl to see what he was going to say.

"I was hoping you might agree to be our new librarian," he said, also ignoring Maggie and smiling at Glenna, who unlike her mother, looked excited at the prospect.

"That means taking care of all the books?," she asked. Carl nodded.

"And the movies," he said, "and RickyJo had been asking for someone to help with organizing all the dried herbal medicines we have, I was hoping you could help Maria with that once she gets back, since the spot we have picked for the library is right next to medicinal storage." Really Carl didn't give a shit about the library. He meant for her to start tutoring under people and learning about the herbal medicines. Glenna was smart and it seemed such a waste not to put her mind to good use. They could use a good herbalist since Old World medicines were getting harder and harder to come by. Right now, RickyJo was the only one they really had, and she was busy with her bar and boarding house most of the time. Dixie was starting to pick up on a lot of her mother's knowledge, but she was also one of their best hunters and took care of the largest group of poutry they had. RickyJo had already agreed to take Glenna on this winter and teach her what she knew, but part of that agreement was the Carl had to be the one to go and talk to Maggie about it. If I have to talk to that crazy bitch I will end up sticking my foot straight up her ass. Carl didn't want to get into all that right now, since he knew it would likely send Maggie over the edge. He was trying to take this in baby steps.

"I can do that," Glenna said. Actually she thought she might be good at it. She knew what the people in town thought of her. They thought she was fat and lazy and did nothing but sit around and suck up the fruits of their hard labor. In a time when not everyone had enough to eat, being obese was more than just a cosmetic problem. It meant that you were taking more than your fair share. And she had been watching all the other kids her age grown up and start taking on more responsibilities, something her mother would not allow her to do. She wanted this job and she wanted it bad. Carl stuck his hand out to her and she shook it awkwardly.

"You come find Sammie later today and she is going to help you get going on the library," he said. Then he stood up and gave Maggie a nod before letting himself out the front door. He wasn't sure how this was going to go over and he felt bad for Glenna. He had done as much as he could. If she wanted this, she was going to have to stand up to her mother and tell her so.

"They can just find someone else to take care of those books," Maggie started in, "I won't have you doing it. Dealing with all those men from out of town. And I know you were drinking last night." Glenna could feel her palms start to sweat. The old fear that if she left her mother, her mother would finish the job she started when she got that scar around her neck started to bubble up inside her. You are the only reason I have for living. I was going to kill myself before until I found out I was pregnant with you. The only thing I have in this world, the only thing I have left of your father. Glenna wiped her palms on her shorts and pushed it all down. She silently reminded herself of the things her Aunt Beth had told her. That it wasn't her fault her father died. That it wasn't fair for her mother to take it out on her.

"MOM!," Glenna hollered, interrupting the tirade that was just starting to get going, "listen to me mom."

"Don't you raise your voice to me," her mother said.

"Aunt Beth said I can go live with them for a while," Glenna told her mother, "maybe its not healthy for me here with you."

"I won't allow that," Maggie was pacing the floor now, pulling at her hair. It was a terrible thing to watch. "Who does Beth think she is? I am going straight over there and give her a piece of my mind."

"You can go over there and say whatever you want," Glenna said, "but I am still leaving. And maybe I will leave with Hilltop after the fesitval and go stay there for a while. I'm sure Uncle Rick could arrange for me to apprentice there, like Carl did for Lori. And I have heard they don't have many women there. I bet I could find a man that doesn't care about my looks. Maybe I will get married and start my own family. Maybe I won't come back." It was taking every bit of self control Glenna had not to burst into tears. But she had to do this. If she didn't she was never going to get out from under her mother's thumb. Maggie stood there, looking stunned. In that moment, she realized everything her daughter was saying to her was true. She stopped her angry yelling and started crying. She knew she was being manipulative, but someday Glenna would understand this was all for her own good.

"You would leave me here alone?," she asked, moving to sit down on the couch across from her daughter. "You know you are all I have."

"Well maybe I could stay," Glenna said, "if you agree to let me take the job at the library." That was the moment Maggie realized she had been had. There was no way she could say no to the library job now, or Glenna would be forced to carry out the threats she had made. And Maggie knew everything her daughter said was true. If she asked Rick and Carl, they would send her to Hilltop and they would not care what Maggie thought about it. And the men there wanted wives. She had been approached by plenty of them herself, and even by men much younger than her. Glenna would be able to find a husband there, no matter what she looked like.

"Alright," Maggie said. Glenna's face lit up in a huge smile. She reached across the couch and hugged her mother tightly. Then she leaped up and took off out the door before her mother could change her mind.

Glenna was about halfway down the street when she felt her stomach growling. She had left her house without any breakfast and she didn't want to go back for it either. The bar was on the way to Carl's house. Her mother had told her not to go in there ever without her. But she could smell good smells coming from inside. What would it hurt for her to go in there just to eat breakfast? Everyone else in town did it all the time.

Wiping her palms on her pants again, Glenna headed for the bar. There were a few men sitting out front with seashell necklaces on. They smiled at her and one gave her a little wave. She smiled back, her cheeks getting red and then she went inside. Jenny was with one of the men from Seaside, a very handsome one with tan skin and long blonde hair. They were over by the food, filling up their plates. One of Dixie's dads came out of the kitchen with a big basket of eggs and set them down next to a little station they had set up with electric hot plates and pans for people to cook their own eggs. There were small bowls of chopped veggies set up nearby. There were baskets of fresh bread and muffins next to a cutting board and some jars of jam and a dish of butter were set out on the other side. There were big pitchers of water and iced tea, and also some fresh orange and carrot juice, which was almost gone. There was also a big pot of coffee and some milk.

People were milling around. None of them looked mean or dangerous, like her mother had told her. It was mostly men, but there were a few women she didn't know with them. Most of them had the shell necklaces on, but there were a few that Glenna knew had been here longer and were probably looking for a more permanent place to live besides the boarding house. They had plenty of empty rooms at her house. She knew her mother had been asked many times if she would take on a boarder, but she always said no. Jenny was giggling with the man she was with, and opened her eyes wide with surprise when she saw Glenna standing there.

"Does your mom know you are here?," Jenny asked. They did not need another ugly scene. Glenna nodded, thinking maybe the truth was not her best option. Jenny guessed she was lying, but since she did her fair share of sneaking around, she decided not to say anything. "Well get a plate and come eat with us," Jenny said.

"You don't mind?," Glenna asked, glancing at Jenny and then with the man she was with.

"Course I don't mind," Jenny said, "this is Andrew." The man smiled at Glenna, revealing a missing tooth on one side of his mouth. Somehow the missing tooth made him even more attractive and Glenna blushed when he took her hand and shook it. "This is Glenna, she's cousins with the guy that runs the radio booth," Jenny explained to the man. Then they headed over to get something to drink, leaving Glenna alone in front of the egg station. She wasn't sure what to do. Her mother always made her meals for her.

"Can't decide whatcha want?," Dixie's dad asked her. She shook her head. He had a feeling maybe she didn't know what to do. "Make yourself some french toast," he suggested, "we got syrup."

"What's that?," Glenna asked.

"You ain't never had french toast before?," he asked her. The way he said it was like he was asking if she had ever breathed before. She shook her head. This was Dixie's nice dad, but he was still making her a little nervous. He looked just like MJ except for the red hair. "Go on and cut off a few pieces of that bread," he told her, "not that one, the brioche. The loaf thats shiny on top. That's the one." Glenna took the loaf and cut off a few medium sized slices. She handed them to him. He got a pan heating with some oil and butter inside it. Then he put the bread into a bowl with some beaten eggs, sugar and milk, moving it around until it was wet. Then he put the first slice into the pan. Once the eggy part was cooked through, he flipped it and told Glenna to get a plate. She held it out and he flopped the cooked bread onto it.

"Now put some syrup on it," he told her, pointing her over to the cluster of small jars by the bread. Glenna poked through the jars and found the one with the maple syrup. She drizzled a little on her plate and went to get a drink and some silverware. Once she had her things, she saw Jenny was waving her over to her table, where she was sitting with the man Glenna had already met and another man. The other man stood up and pulled a chair out for Glenna, which she sat down in, feeling a little uncomfortable. Andrew smiled at her.

"This is my first mate Greg," he told her, gesturing to the other man. "This is Glenna." Glenna looked up at the man for a moment and then back down at her plate.

"No reason to be shy honey," Greg told her. He and Andrew laughed. "After breakfast I got something out back in my tent that I would like to show you." Now Jenny laughed.

"What? Your tiny little dick?," she asked the man, "I don't think Glenna brought her magnifying glass." Now Andrew and Jenny were laughing. Glenna was looking at all of them with wide eyes, thinking that maybe she had made a mistake coming here.

"Make you eat those words princess," Greg told Jenny. Then he stood up and started unbuttoning his pants. Dixie's mom yelled at him from behind the food tables where she was refilling the iced tea.

"Don't you dare take your dick out in my bar Greg," she hollered, "you have already been warned." Glenna could tell RickyJo was trying to be serious, but that she really thought the whole thing was funny. Greg held his hands up in mock defeat and sat back down. He saw that everyone else was laughing, but the girl next to him looked absolutely horrified.

"Sorry," he told her, "I was just joking about the tent thing." Really he had been serious, if she was game, but it was clear she wasn't. He had never been with a woman that big. Jenny thought she better change the subject. This was gettting a little awkward.

"So what are you doing slumming down here anyway?," she asked Glenna.

"Going to Carl's house to get Sammie," Glenna said, "she was going to help me start getting the new library set up."

"Library?," Jenny asked, "thats like books and stuff right?" Glenna nodded. Both men laughed. These silly young new world girls barely knew what a library was. "You should stop by my house, there are piles of books going all up and down the stairs. My mom has been complaining about them. Maybe you could take them for the library?"

"Are you sure its ok?," Glenna asked. Jenny waved her off.

"I'm sure," she said, "they are all Uncle Merle's and he done already read them all. I can go with you to get them if you want." Glenna nodded. She would feel more comfortable that way, rather than just walking into their house by herself and loading up with books.

After breakfast, Jenny and Glenna headed over to Jenny's house for the books. They were loading them up into a wagon when the sirens went off. Then one ring, which meant people coming home. It was either Hilltop or the small group that went out on that run. Jenny hurried to turn the radio on so they could hear which one. It was Judith and Lori and Hilltop. Jenny started running around the house in a flurry of excitement. She flung open the gun safe.

"You can borrow one of ours, lets go out and stand in the gauntlet," Jenny told Glenna. Then she turned and saw the other girl's face. "You are not allowed to go out there are you?," she asked. Glenna shook her head and looked down, ashamed. "You don't mind if I go, do you?," Jenny asked

"Of course not," Glenna told her, "I will stay and finish getting these books together." Jenny looked at Glenna, feeling bad for her. It was so much fun to run out and greet people that were coming into town, get a look at all the men that were coming to visit, smile and wink at the cute ones. Plus, this was family coming back. Lori and Judith were related to Glenna by marriage and Rosita had delivered her when her mother had been in labor. It was sad that she was forbidden to go out and greet them. Jenny set an extra gun next to the safe in case Glenna changed her mind. Then she grabbed her shotgun and headed for the front gate. As she was heading down the street, getting ready to turn the corner, she had to jump back to keep from being trampled over. MJ was tearing through on that stupid asshole horse he liked to ride, with Judith on the back of it behind him. Jenny laughed and watched them ride back towards the house. Then she continued on her way.

Glenna was on the stairs, picking up another pile of books when she heard the backdoor swing open. It hit the wall behind it hard. There was already a hole in the wall there where the doorknob regularly got slammed into it. Then Glenna heard voices. Put me down MJ. Then laughter. Glenna tiptoed down the stairs and peeked around the wall to see who it was. It was MJ and Judith. He had his arms around her, trying to kiss her and she was trying to push him away. Stop MJ, just let me talk to you a minute. We can talk later, let me give you a kiss first. He lifted Judith up and set her on the counter, pushing between her legs and holding her tight against his bare chest. He was kissing her neck and face and Judith was alternating between trying to shove him away and laughing because he was tickling her. When he started trying to unbutton her vest, she had enough. Judith shoved him hard and kicked at him with her boot. I said stop. Damn Judith, you didn't have to kick me. I need to talk to you. Well fucking talk then.

"I am getting married at the summer fesitval," Judith told him. MJ scrunched up his face, trying to understand what she was saying. He had been planning to propose to her when she got back from Alexandria. Did she already know that somehow.

"You could at least let me ask you first," he told her, "instead of being all demanding." Then she held up her hand. It had a diamond ring on it. "What the hell is that?," he asked.

"I told you I am getting married," she said. She had planned to introduce him to Rolland first. Maybe if he saw how happy they were together, he would give her his blessing. But that was clearly not how this was going to go. Why did he have to get so romantic, riding out on the horse like that. She was starting to tear up. MJ had always been good at making her feel special. It was keeping his dick out of other girls' mouths that he had a problem with.

"What the fuck do you mean you are getting married," he asked, "like to someone else?"

"Yes," she told him. He looked shocked for a minute, and then he started laughing.

"Funny joke," he told her. Then he grabbed at her hand, trying to yank the ring off her. "Jokes over, take it off." Judith was smacking at him now, trying to yank her hand back without pulling her ring off. If he got it, she was never going to get it back and it was a special ring that belonged to Rolland's mother.

"Let fucking go of me MJ," she was yelling. "I am not kidding, I am getting married to someone else, you asshole!" She stomped down on his bare foot and shoved him. She was remembering now why she had been so angry with him in the first place. Angry enough to leave her home and everyone she knew behind so she wouldn't have to look at him. "I saved myself for you and when we made love I thought it was special. Then the next day I saw you out behind the barn with your dick in Jenny's mouth!," she screamed. Glenna sat down hard on the steps, covering her mouth with her hands. This was not a conversation she was supposed to hear. There was no way for her to get out without them seeing her either. She was stuck here.

MJ was grabbing at Judith, trying to hold her, saying he was sorry. She shoved him off again.

"Never touch me again,"Judith told him. Then she stormed out. Glenna heard a loud crash that she guessed was MJ breaking something. She decided it was a good a time as any to try and make a break for it, but she forgot about the pile of books at her feet. She tripped over them and fell hard on the wood floor. Strong hands seized her and lifted her onto her feet.

"Hear all that?," MJ asked her. Glenna nodded.

"I.. I...," she stuttered, "I was just trying to get these books, I didn't mean to." His face looked twisted with anger. But then it collapsed and tears started running down out of his eyes. He sunk down on his knees in front of Glenna and really started bawling. Crying harder than he had cried since he was a little kid. Glenna wasn't sure what to do, but she felt terrible for him. It sounded like he had been a jerk, but it was obvious he was sorry. If she was Judith, she would give him another chance. Glenna knelt down next to him and patted him on the back, feeling lame. She had no idea what to say. It was the first time she had ever seen a grown man cry. MJ turned and wrapped his arms around her, sobbing into her hair and wetting her neck with his tears. She stiffened up a little and then relaxed and hugged him back. It felt strangely right, being held tight in his strong arms, her breasts pushed against his bare chest. Finally under control, his breathing slowed down and he let go of her, wiping at his eyes. He got to his feet and then gave Glenna a hand up.

"Thanks for the hug," he told her. His face was blotchy and wet and he was still sniffling. Maybe it was because she was still feeling pumped from standing up to her mother, or the hot feeling she had from being so close to such an attractive boy, but Glenna found a sudden rush of courage.

"She is stupid if she doesn't want to be with you," Glenna told him. Then she turned red and immediately regretted saying anything. He smiled at little at her, which made her think maybe she wasn't so stupid to say that after all.

"Thanks," he told her. Then he looked at Glenna. He had never really thought about her as a girl before, but more like an annoying little sister, like Dixie. Her face was red and her dark hair was hanging forward, covering most of it. Hugging her had felt good and her hair was soft and it smelled like maple syrup. "Come on," he told her, "I will help you with your books." She nodded, grateful to have something to do with her hands.

"Hey Glenna," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone I was crying, ok?" Glenna laughed.

"I'll take it to the grave," she promised.