READ NOTE BEFORE STORY!!!! :
I wanted to explain a few of the references that are made in this story as well:
Professor Karlstadt was a real historical figure during the protestant reformation.
"Much madness is divinest sense--to a discerning eye" is by far my favorite poem written by Emily Dickinson.
"Keep your hands at the level of your eyes" is a reference to the Phantom of the Opera who is the creepest stalker of all time in my opinion. It's supposed to prevent you from being strangled because your hands are blocking your throat. Just a Jeopary fact if you're wondering.
Lamont Cranston is a wicked creepy vigilante from a 1930s radioshow called The Shadow. I know, really obscure reference, but totally fitting.
NOTE: In an attempt to defend Noah's psychotic behavior, I've written this chapter. It's the longest chapter I've ever written weighing in at 12,800 words. In other words it's extremely long. It picks up the day after Noah and Phoenix car conversation, when the kissing bet is almost fulfilled and follows to the love confession last chapter. Enjoy and please review!! I wrote 12,800 words for you!!! REVIEW!! It's not as repetetive as it sounds and the pieces of the story fall into place.
Also I updated my profile to include pictures of Darius and Genevieve! They're my best matches ye so check it out!
Noah's POV: Visions of Fire and Porcelain
I leaned against the side of the school, immersed in the shadows cast by the slowly emerging sun. I was the first person to arrive, but I couldn't bring myself to care. A certain bet agreed upon hardly twenty-four hours ago had me glowing like a Christmas tree, literally.
The look on Phoenix's face when I disappeared yesterday was priceless—a true Kodak moment. Her jaw had dropped on its own accord and her eyes were bugging out of her skull as if futilely searching for something I wouldn't allow them to find. Her thin body had sulked in dismay after a few moments, under the impression that I was long gone rather than standing twenty feet away from her. I had to suppress a chuckle as she slowly scurried back into the driver's seat, seriously confused and stunned. She would make good on the bet, after all I had beat her fair and square…I would most definitely enjoy my reward, as would she.
************
After she pulled back onto the road, driving with the skill of a pro (a complete turn around from the twenty car pile up she had almost caused just minutes before), I crouched down, gained momentum and took off into the air—yet again—with one swoop of my wings. Her shock must have worn off, I thought, so there would be no need to reappear and help her drive home safely. Dismay washed over me momentarily before being beaten back by reason. I would probably end up with a skewer up my ass if I went anywhere near the Faryn household.
My wings propelled me through the air with such force that the barren desert wasteland below transformed into a kaleidoscope of neutral colors. Pretty much the most boring kaleidoscope ever invented. How could anybody enjoy living here? It was like a replication of hell spouting up in the Mojave Desert, definitely no place for such an angelic creature like Phoenix.
I had always scoffed at the living conditions that Firebirds resided in. They were always the least hospitable environments chosen seemingly at random. It wasn't as if Arizona was a hotbed for black magic, although as of late it had become one. Apparently the Faryn clan had completely missed all the tell tale signs of a sylph infestation, making me shudder at the idea that these stubborn, incompetent creatures were Phoenix's only protection. Not counting me, that is.
The past thirteen years had been pure torture for me. Unable to bear the idea of distancing myself from Phi, I had abandoned my life in Boston for a life of playing guardian angel for the most innocent, amazing creature imaginable. It was the best decision of my existence, but I had made a promise to myself to lurk in the shadows, allowing Phoenix ample time to grow and develop as normal as any mythical creature can when thrust into a human world. I was her secret protector and I did a damn good job of it, too. The Faryn's had no idea that I was behind the sudden decline of black magic activity in the Southwest. They just assumed that their reputations as 'big bad Firebirds' had scared all of their adversaries away—Karlstadt was the only exception to this generalization. He would, from time to time, steal my thunder and intercept a particularly feisty troll that I had been tracking. Karlstadt was the only reason why I just didn't storm into their home and kidnap Phoenix…again. He was smart and intuitive with a reputation for being a liberator on practically every continent.
On occasion, he would turn his sights to human adversaries, a trait that most Firebirds lack and one that I completely admired in this wise, old phoenix bird. Humans could be just as deadly as sylphs. I had once heard a rumor, while traveling through Germany on one of my brother's research trips, that Karlstadt had played a rather large role in the Protestant Reformation.
Apparently he had developed quite the bad reputation as he played off both sides in order to incite rebellion, yet fend off bloodshed. But humans can never do one without the other. So after much trepidation Professor Karlstadt, as he was known, faked his death and left the country having successfully deteriorated both the Holy Roman Empire and the Papacy's power over the people. I felt for him, I really did.
Always one to defy the papacy, aren't you Karlstadt, I chuckled to myself as I swooped down towards our secluded desert hideaway…I mean home.
With a soft thud, I landed and sauntered quite smugly through the front door, still riding a high over the prospects of being close to Phoenix again tomorrow, closer than I've ever dreamed.
"Wow, high school dropout already? Three hours, what a record. I'd like my ten dollars anytime you're ready," my brother Darius said, glancing over a particularly large tome propped precariously in his lap. (picture on my profile)
His jet black hair fell in disarray in front of his eyes, causing him to flick his head to the side every so often in order to clear his line of sight. I chuckled at him, remembering his sentiments earlier this morning: Have fun in hell, Noah. Ten bucks says you don't last a day. Well, at least I had won one bet today—the better of the two in my opinion.
I reached into my jean pockets and retrieved a crinkled bill which I tossed over to Darius. He caught it deftly without even glancing up. I smiled. Darius and my sister Genevieve were pretty much my saving grace in this deserted wasteland. They supported my inexplicable compulsion to protect Phoenix whole-heartedly, uprooting themselves from the four-season glory of Boston to live with me in this perpetual summer. I didn't know how they could tolerate it. Any place that brought me in such close proximity to Phoenix was paradise for me, but otherwise I would sooner choose death over thirteen years of desert seclusion. My appreciation for their selfless act could never be repaid in full.
Darius' eyes retired from the text and reposition themselves on me. He quirked his eyebrow and lowered his book further. "You look…happy?" His statement turned into a question as he expressed an idea that seemed impossible to him. I rolled my eyes. Ah, yes, for the perpetually dour Noah happiness just didn't exist.
A tiny head poked out from around the corner, revealing a mess of flowing bronze waves and cream colored skin. "Noah, happy? Ha, who's your dealer, Dar?" Genevieve always found it hilarious to make highly vulgar human references. Drugs and 'gang bangings' were just a few of her favorites. (picture of Evie on my profile)
"I smile and the sky begins to crumble! It's not like I committed a crime!" I exclaimed, the forcefulness in my voice marred by amusement.
"Oh, my goodness! He is smiling! And he's lit up like a 7/11 at three in the morning!" she squealed, her wide green eyes, the exact same shade as mine, expanding to an impossible size.
"Damn it…give you three guesses why, Evie," Darius mumbled, reluctantly.
Evie brighten tenfold and came racing towards me, throwing her arms around my neck in one of her classic embraces. I staggered a bit in surprise before curling my arms around her back. "I knew it! I knew it! She talked to you, didn't she? She didn't try to bust a cap in your ass?" Seriously, where did such a tiny, sweet little thing like Evie learn such obnoxious sayings?
"Well, she threw a few fireballs my way, but warmed up to me fairly quickly," I informed them, surprised that my chipper mood was so transparent.
"Wait, so she did try to attack or otherwise incapacitate you?" Now it was Darius' turn to brighten. I frowned. Wow, way to be a prick, Darius! This was not like him at all.
"She stormed away from me when I confronted her in the quad, but I'm not so easily defeated," I shot him a filthy look, disappointed with his lack of faith in me. After all, I'd been planning this day for thirteen years! "I sent her a very subtle, classy message through the Cortexium frequency and all was well. We went for a drive and I explained everything to her. She completely understands now, no worries."
Okay so it was a slight fabrication, alright a downright right fictional fairytale, but Evie would definitely not approve of the 'inappropriate' daydream I had conjured up for Phoenix.
"So when exactly did she hurl fireballs at you're face?" Darius inquired.
"Er…somewhere in between the vision of a particularly heated lip-lock and me blocking the way to her car as she tried to make her escape," I cracked seeing no way around this topic.
"That's what you call subtle! Damn it, Noah! What the hell are you trying to do? Scare the girl senseless?" Evie snapped her thin hand gesticulating in front of my face for effect.
Darius was keeling over in a fit of laughter. "That's CLASSIC!"
"Darius, don't even start!" Evie hissed before turning her attentions back to me. "Why would you do that!!!"
"I panicked! My secret weapon was going to be the fact that she wouldn't recognize me straight away, but it only took her a few seconds to realize who I was! I had to pull out the big guns, and granted it wasn't the smartest move imaginable; she was a bit taken aback. She stormed out of the history classroom, so I had to follow her and make amends. That's were the flame throwing came into play, but eventually she calmed down and we were able to have a nice, civil conversation. I swear, Phoenix is by far the most understanding being ever created." I left out the part about our Las Vegas moment, not daring to push Genevieve any farther.
"So, she doesn't hate you and she isn't going to go running to the Elders?" Evie asked hopefully.
"I doubt it."
"HA!! In your face!" she screamed, pointing her willowing finger at Darius. "Fork it over, Dar!"
With a perturbed huff, Darius chucked the crinkled ten dollar bill that I had given him just minutes before directly at Evie's face. She plucked it out of the air with one skilled flick of her wrist and flashed a dazzling smile in Darius' direction. "Thank you very much."
"Thanks a lot guys. Betting on the odds of a Firebird vs. Seraph showdown. Really nice!" I shook my head in faux disappointment.
"Actually, we were betting on the chances of you coming home with your backside deep fried," Evie corrected, gently smoothing out the bill and folding it neatly into her pocket.
"Even better." I gave Genevieve an affectionate nuggy, which caused her to shoot daggers at me (her hair was sacred) before ambling out of the room. "I'll be in my studio if you need me," I called over my shoulder.
Darius reclaimed his decaying volume entitled A History of Sylphs and Sirens while Genevieve softly pattered back to the nursery. She was the only person in existence who could make such a vast array of plants thrive in the arid conditions of the Mojave.
I plopped down in front of my easel with sudden inspiration. Furiously, I stroked my paintbrush across the canvas with visions of fire and porcelain skin dancing in front of my eyes.
********************
I was snapped out of my memory a half hour later, stunned to find the campus swarming with students. I spotted Phoenix's Firebird rolling into an empty space about five hundred feet in front of me. I noticed her scan the crowd anxiously and smiled to myself, hoping that I was the reason for her sudden interest in the student population. Of course, this might just be a ritual of hers, though I liked my explanation better. Regardless, I was making it my mission in life to find out as much about Phoenix as I possibly could, preferably from the source herself.
She rolled her eyes and shot an annoyed, mildly amused glare at her friend who was currently in an odd limbo between the front and backseat, her jean-clad legs splayed wildly a foot away from Phoenix's face. I exhaled a short chortle that startled a scrawny pre-pubescent boy, unable to suppress my immense pleasure any longer. This catharsis allowed me to keep my severely conspicuous glow under control.
With a mischievous smirk, Phoenix grabbed her friend's legs and shoved her entire body into the back seat before bursting out in laughter. Madeline resurfaced a few seconds later with a grin on her face. What goons!
I couldn't contain myself any longer. My patience had stretched to the limit within the past thirteen years and there simply wasn't anymore to go around. So I pushed off of the wall and shoved my way through the crowd, earning quite a few sneers and gawks as I passed.
"I guess you don't have to search the crowd anymore," I heard Madeline say through the glass of the Pontiac. My radiance increased infinitesimally, though I was certain I would have been a blazing ball of light had I not been expending so much effort on stifling the light rays.
Phoenix's head shot up and her eyes meet mine, widened, and then scrunched up in confusion. I smiled warmly, hoping that I had not been too presumptuous to believe that we were now friends. Only one way to find out—I waved my hand, signaling her to join me.
Her eyebrows shot up into her thick mane of curls. She turned to her friend as if she was a dying man and Madeline could offer her the elixir of everlasting life. "Maddie, do NOT leave my side. I repeat DO NOT leave him any opportunity to make good on his offer," she screeched.
Hmm, offer? That word contradicted her entire command. 'Offer' had a positive connotation, perhaps she wasn't as unwilling as she would have Madeline—and me—believe.
I decided to keep it light and allow her a chance to warm up to my presence. I commended her on the amount of understanding she possessed, seriously surprised that she had not sent her family crash down upon me when she realized that I was her ex-kidnapper. Granted I had a good reason for the heist, but still, lord knows what lies the Faryn clan had been filling her with. I decided to joke with her. "I can hear absolutely everything you're saying right now, Phoenix. Your windows aren't soundproof."
Her face contorted into a surprised grimace. Apparently she was unaware of the fact the she wasn't driving an armored vehicle and 1969 Pontiac Firebirds did not come equipped with soundproof, bulletproof glass.
She smiled sheepishly, the grimace still clearly visible, and yanked Madeline into the front seat in an act of desperation. While Phoenix turned to gage my reaction to her unceremonious—and downright hilarious—behavior, Madeline winked at me. I smirked smugly. Phoenix's partner in crime had just hopped the border, and the best part was Phi didn't know it yet.
"Be strong, PhiPhi. We all do stupid things in our lives. Normally, your degree of stupidity is accompanied with a drunken rave, but hey we can't all be rock stars." With that, Maddie energetically jumped out of the car, forcing Phoenix to do the same (albeit with less enthusiasm), and turned to me with a chipper smile.
"Hey, Noah. Let me just tell you how impressed I am with your serious supernatural skills! Big fan…oh, is that Cliff? Sorry, Phi, I gotta go. Cliff and I have to develop our yearbook pictures before school starts." I could safely say that Madeline Masen had worked her way into my favorite persons list. With one guilty smile that was more like a frown than anything else, she trotted over to a group of hulking jocks battering her eyelashes at the boy who I took to be Cliff. She waved at us feverishly, apparently soothed by the distance between Phoenix and herself, before turning to follow the boy into the building.
Phoenix looked heated. No, she looked flat out pissed. I tried casual again.
"Wow, your friend seriously left you hanging. She needs to take a refresher class in wing-woman 101." It sort of worked. Instead of looking as though she wanted to hunt down Madeline and melt her entire roll of photos, she dropped her eyes to the ground and expelled a half-hearted chuckle. I sighed. This wasn't going as I had planned.
"Look, Phoenix, I can see that our little deal yesterday morning makes you very uncomfortable. I'm not going to ask you to do anything you don't want to do. That's not the point in my being here. I want to protect you from anything supernatural and otherwise that threatens your well being. That includes me, if I'm acting too forward. I'm sorry. You don't have to kiss me." But I really wish you would, I added internally. Needing some type of physical contact if I wasn't going to have the intimacy that I so desperately craved, I reached down and caressed her soft chin, tilting it up so that she was forced to look me in the eyes. After a moment of silence, I became concerned. Was she so frightened of me that my touch had sent her into shock? After all, I had kidnapped her. But hadn't we got past that yesterday? Don't freak her out, I thought. "What, no snappy comeback?"
She furrowed her brow as if shuffling through a list of possible retorts. Her forehead smoothed over as she tried to feign a nonchalant attitude, "I don't need you to protect me. If I recall, I was the one who burned your angel ass yesterday in this very spot."
I burst out in laughter, so relieved that she could joke about something that held such weight. She had forgiven me on some level or another. This somewhat pathetic, though absolutely adorable, attempt at witticism was my salvation. I decide not to point out the fact that this wasn't the exact same parking spot as yesterday, but my fresh liberation made me forget about my 'keep it casual' plan. I slide my hand down to the nape of her neck and twirled a strand of her vibrant red hair around my finger.
"I'll pay the price of a few third degree burns any day if it means having a few seconds of physical contact with you."
"I think we're in for a little déjà vu in T-minus three seconds." Her lackadaisical threats only made me chuckle harder as I continued to run my fingers through her soft locks. Again, her words clashed with her body language; she had subconsciously leaned towards me, apparently enjoying the close contact. I fought back an explosion of light that was threatening to surface at this realization.
"No amount of physical damage would keep me away from you, Phoenix. Nothing."
I must admit that I was toying with her a bit, gauging her response as I whispered into her ear, my hand still lingering on her neck. She wasn't trying to set me on fire, so I threw my inhibitions to the wind and lowered my head toward hers. "Let me just say sorry for what I'm about to do."
I nuzzled her ear and lightly ran my lips over her cheek, giving her the opportunity to back out at anytime, but frantically hoping that she wouldn't. I stopped once my trek reached its destination, and glanced down into her deep jade-colored eyes, looking for any sign of doubt. A huge, goofy smile spread across my face when I found no indication of her wavering intentions. I must have looked like such a fool, but I didn't care.
Phoenix, on the other hand, was a goddess among peasants, me being the latter. She had no idea how beautiful…how sexy she looked. Her lips were slightly parted and her cheeks were flushed, staining her porcelain skin to a striking rose hue. It seemed surreal that I was being allowed this gift. Never had I imagined actually holding her in my arms as anything more than her protector, though I had secretly longed for it. She was stunning. I felt me grin grow embarrassingly larger as I tilted my head back toward hers.
"Phoenix! Hey." My lips were just inches away from hers when that obnoxious, overly excited voice caused her to snap her head up and glance around for the culprit.
Really! Come on! Was this some sick joke that karma decided to play on me? I wasn't laughing, that's for sure. A lanky teenager with dark, unkempt hair waved enthusiastically at Phoenix who…smiled back at him! She smiled!
All the confidence that I had developed was completely crushed. She seemed happy to see this unexceptional boy, not at all dismayed at the fact that he had interrupted a fairly intimate moment. I was stunned into silence, not sure how to take this turn of events.
"Hey, Cayden. How are you?" she said was an enthusiasm that made my heart stop.
"Good, really good. This is for you, I thought you might need an early morning caffeine pick-me-up." My jaw tightened into a hard line as this cheeky little prick handed her an enormous Starbucks coffee. She would probably go into shock after drinking that much caffeine. Who did this kid think he was?
"Oh, wow. Thanks so much!" She was flirting with him, wasn't she? Didn't I feel like a fool! The glow that had overtaken me during my short-lived ecstasy had completely vanished, leaving my sheathed in overcast.
She looked at me in that moment, her jubilant smile turn down into an anxious frown. Maybe this idiot boy was just a friend of hers. Maybe not. "Umm…this is Noah Wilder; he's an old friend, but new to the school. Noah, this is Cayden Maloire,"
If the former was true, then I should at least make an effort to be cordial. I extended my hand towards the child, feigning (and utterly failing) to seem sincere. The boy looked at me with such shock and surprise you'd think he hadn't realized I was in the middle of kissing this goddess seconds before he interrupted us.
He grabbed my hand enthusiastically and threw me a goofy smile." Nice to meet you." I nodded indifferently. He didn't seem to be threatened by me, so perhaps he was just a friend, though I hadn't seen Phoenix talk to anybody besides Madeline yesterday.
The boy turned back to Phoenix who was sporting an endearingly furious express. I could only imagine what she was thinking about.
"So, Phoenix, I'm so excited for our date on Friday. You're seriously gonna have a blast!"
WHAT!!!! DATE?? Since when do friends go on dates? I'm going to throw up!
My nostrils flared and I'm sure my eyes darkened to black angry spheres.
"I'm sure I will," she said, a bit half-heartedly. She had agreed to date this boy, but was about to kiss me? Had I seduced her against her will? It hadn't seemed like that at the time.
What irony! I slave away to ensure this beautiful creatures safety and she chooses a scrawny little human above me. My hope was trampled, my heart ripped out of my chest. If she wanted this child, than I couldn't stand in her way, but the—jealous? Was that the emotion?—raked through my system like a poison. The bell rang, as though signaling the end of my crash and burn morning. It couldn't get worse, though I'm sure karma would find a way to make my suffering triple.
"Oh, that's the bell. I'll see you guys later." And with that, the love of my life walked away, getting lost in the crowd. Story of my freaking life!
*****************
The universe had obviously plotted against me; there can't possibly be any other explanation for my horrendous luck. I somberly sulked to English class, planning on wallowing in my misery and plot ways to win Phoenix's love. Karma, my new found enemy, would have it otherwise it seemed, as Cayden Maloire, the last person on earth that I wished to see right now, strolled into the classroom wearing an obnoxiously large grin. He made his way down the aisle to my left, recognized me and threw up the peace sign before plopping down three seats in front of me.
You can't be serious!!!! I glared at him, hoping that my stare would be enough to stop his heart. Then I realized that it could if I adjusted the wavelengths to the right frequency. I vacillated between staying conspicuous or frying this kid's innards before deciding on the former. There's no way in hell Phoenix would forgive me if I killed off her boyfriend.
The teacher droned on about importance of Shakespeare, while I plotted murder like Macbeth. I'm sure this mediocre, fresh out of college teacher would appreciate the text to life connections was making.
As a keeper of the peace, my sudden surge of violent intentions scared me a bit. If I plunged the classroom into complete darkness and shot a few gamma rays in Cayden's direction, his death could easily be blamed on electrocution from the faulty wiring of the light directly above his head. Or I could conjure up a few deranged and disturbing Cortexium visions that would slowly drive this intruding child to insanity.
Or I could stop being such a psychotic freak and let the chips fall as they may, I reasoned, trying to shake off my vicious edge.
At the sound of the bell, I quickly leapt from my seat and scurried to the door, not giving myself an opportunity to act upon on of my various plots.
The next two periods dragged on as I dwelled upon Phoenix and the turns our relationship had taken within the past forty-eight hours. I mentally flipped through all of the roles I had played: protector, enemy, friend, almost lover. Could I never be her trusted companion? Someone she could talk to, love unconditionally, and spend the rest of her life with?
No, probably not. Life sucks and then you die. Except in my case life drags on for a couple thousand years before the relief of death has mercy on you.
Then the defense mechanisms kicked in. I'd only ever seen Phoenix talk to Madeline and Cayden, though their relationship seemed to be new (a person wouldn't drop five bucks on a frothy caffinated beverage if they were already a member of the inner circle). Perhaps Phoenix hid from the human world, feeling like an outsider because of what she was.
This thought disturbed me even though it was meant to soften the blow of her rejection. Why would she hide from the world? Such a brilliant, beautiful creature should never feel inferior! I was enraged.
Desperate to verify my theory, I turned to the overly muscled jock on the side of me—Cliff, I think his name was—and blatantly asked him, "Hey, what's the deal with Phoenix Faryn?"
Not exactly one of my finer moments, but the curiosity and desperation boiling inside me drove me to extreme measures.
Cliff looked taken aback, but recovered soon enough. "She's really quiet. I don't think I've ever heard her say more than two words. She sits at my lunch table, but only talks to Maddie." His face lit up as he said Madeline's name. I rolled my eyes, impatient at his diversion from the topic. "I guess if Maddie is friends with her, than she must be okay. Some people think she's stuck up, but I just think she doesn't want anything to do with this school. It's understandable, but still, it would be nice if she talked once and awhile. It kinda makes me uncomfortable."
"It don't matter what she has to say, Cliff. That smokin' hot body does all the talkin' for her," said an imbecilic scoundrel. I turned to glower at him, the intensity of my glare causing the blood to drain out of the scumbags face. How dare he talk about a woman like that, especially Phoenix!
"Shut up, Landon. That's totally not cool," Cliff warned. I was beginning to like this man. He, at least, had some sense of courtesy.
"Just 'cause you wanna bang her best friend doesn't mean that she's off limits." The lights flickered, pulsing in synchronicity with my anger. Just a few ultraviolet rays wouldn't hurt, would they?
A gigantic, meaty fist flew through the air and landed with a muffled thud against the side of Landon's head. "Don't you dare, douche bag!"
I nodded in approval. Pretty cool guy, this Cliff.
"Sorry man. I know Maddie's off limits. She's your girl, totally chill. But Phoenix…man she's on fire! Mmm-mm, I would tap that any day of the week!" Anger boiled within me. What was this idiot's glitch? This kid was going to get schooled in the art of want-not-to-say after class!
And what do you know? The bell rang perfectly on cue causing a menacing grin to spread across my face.
I roughly strode to the door so that I was directly in back of Landon. The hallways were overcrowded, but Landon was making this easy for me. He glanced suspiciously from side to side before slipping through a maintenance door that led to a long dark hallway. I trailed after him a few seconds later and followed the hallway until I reached the boiler room which was overflowing with plumes of smoke. Landon was a fucking pot head! It sickened me to think that such a loser thought that he had a chance with Phoenix!
Landon looked up as I entered the room. At first he seemed startled, but recognition flitted across his face and he smiled! He smiled!!! Not for much longer, I corrected internally.
"Hey man, you wanna light up?" he asked as he stood up and reached into his pocket pulling out another blunt. Disgusting.
I felt my nostrils flare and before I realized what I was doing my hands were wrapped tightly around Landon's throat. He kicked his feet and struggled against my grip, but didn't have a chance of freeing himself. My anger was dangerous, but I would try to contain myself. I was a protector not a killer, but when it came to Phoenix those lines blurred into an indistinguishable haze.
"You're a repulsive excuse for a human!" I hissed. "You have no right…NO RIGHT… to talk about Phoenix Faryn like she's some type of sex toy! Do you hear me, you FUCKER? She's beautiful, brilliant, kind and you talk about here like she's just a piece of meat. Don't touch her, don't even think about her!" I hesitated.
What if Phoenix was friends with this imbecile, though I highly doubted it? I didn't want her around such a vile creature, but I also didn't want to make her feel as though she was being alienated. "Don't talk to her unless she talks to you first and even then, if you say even one inappropriate comment you'll regret it!"
I allowed an evil glint of light to shine in my eyes and slammed his head against the wall to prove my point.
Landon nodded furiously, tears streaming down his boyish face. I grinned. What a weak coward. He was so below Phoenix that the thought of her giving him the time of day was laughable. I tossed him to the ground and slammed the door as I exited the boiler room.
I walked into Euro class before the bell rang, before Phoenix arrived. It only took me approximately two minutes to scare Landon shitless, though my anger hadn't subsided. I was seething with hatred…and jealous…as I threw myself into my seat, still dwelling on the horrible things that scumbag had said about Phi.
She was gorgeous and desirable, that was obvious. I shuddered to think of all the scoundrels in this school who fantasized about taking advantage of her in filthy ways. I'm certain that my angry disposition scared half the class, but I didn't care.
"Ahh, Miss Faryn, are we feeling better?" My head shot up at Mr. Larken's sentiments. She was beautiful. My anger almost dissipated. Almost. Then I remembered that my burning desire for her was not reciprocated.
"Yup, it was a freak fever. No idea where it came from," She answered the teacher and then slowly made her way to her seat. My eyes smoldered as I stared at her, but she didn't glance up from the floor.
Without thinking, I turned around and muttered, "How's your boyfriend?" I was such an idiot! It wasn't like she belonged to me. She could date whoever she wanted to, but still it had hurt when she chose him over me.
"He's not my boyfriend!" she retorted. I quirked an eyebrow at her. She was going on a date with him and had been about to kiss me. I was so confused. Did she normally go around kissing guys even when she wasn't on the losing end of a bet.
"Oh, so you just get around a lot then." It came out as a statement rather than a question. And it was an idiotic statement! Of course she didn't! She wasn't like that! I instantly regretted opening my mouth in the first place.
She started, obviously offended. Her eyes burned with anger. "Oh, yes. I'm a grade-A slut."
That's not what I meant!!! She was a goddess! How could I say anything that could be mistaken as an insult of that caliber? Idiot!! I was no better than Landon.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" I couldn't manage to subdue the harsh edge in my voice and I hated myself for it. My jealousy was getting the best of me and I was lashing out at the one person I never wanted to hurt. What a royal screw up I am! I waited thirteen years to talk to her and I'm already fighting with her a day later.
She was thoroughly taken aback by this point, and rightly so. "Really, because that's exactly how it sounded like to me! Please enlighten me on the workings of Noah Wilder's mind."
Oh, she would be enlightened alright. Then maybe she would realize that I was jealous beyond belief! My self-loathing slid to the back burner as my self-defense mechanisms kicked in again. Sure she was the girl of my dreams, but she led me on like a golden retriever. She deserved to be confronted in a civilized conversation.
Yeah, right. Like I could pull that one off. I could hardly keep my temper in check, but it's the thought that counts, right? Venting angrily worked just as well.
"Phoenix, I really…I can't explain it in subdued whispers during Euro class. Pretend to faint." It was a stroke of genius.
"What?" she asked, utterly confused.
"Raise your body temperature and fall out of your chair. Faint!" Jesus, she was being ridiculously stubborn.
She rolled her eyes before theatrically throwing her hand onto her forehead and flopping out of her seat. She was adorable…I mean, a total and complete tease. Man, I'm whipped.
Now it was my turn.
"Oh, my God!!! Mr. Larken, she needs to go to the nurse." I filled my voice with as much surprised and conviction as I possibly could, but a hint of amusement slide in. Phoenix was sprawled on the ground, her hair mussed around her face. She was a horrible actress, but nobody could say that she wasn't stunning. I had to touch her, make sure she wasn't just a mirage.
I slowly swept away the strands of fly away locks, allowing my fingers to linger on her warm skin. I worked this into the charade. "She's burning up!!!" Actually, she should be legally dead by now—what was she 108o?
Mr. Larken reacted in possibly the most hilarious manner imaginable. He jumped about three feet in the air, slapping his hands on his face like that kid from Home Alone and rushed over to phone. "Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I'll call the nurse for assistance!"
"No. I can bring her. It'll save time," I said before he had time to pick up the receiver. I scooped Phoenix up, basking in the touch of her tingling hot skin.
Mr. Larken approved of the idea, but I didn't bother waiting for him to finish his sentence. I kicked the door shut, not really caring if it was little rude, though I'd probably apologize the next day. Right now, I'd lay everything on the line for Phoenix and get a few answers myself.
The resonating crush hadn't even subsided before Phoenix's eyes flashed open and she demanded to be put down. Truthfully, I didn't ever want to let go, but I knew that she had quite a temper so I decided not to test it. Unfortunately, I underestimated that temper.
"Owww! Phoenix, I was going to let you down! What did you do that for?" I exclaimed mostly out of surprise and frustration. Her flames hadn't hurt me; they couldn't, not unless she put some serious effort into heating them to at least two thousand degrees.
"That was for calling me a whore!" she snapped.
When was she going to catch on! I was in love with her! She was the farthest thing from a whore in my mind. She just happened to have every guy in the world lined up on her doorstep, vying for her attention. I threw my hands into the air in frustration.
"I did NOT call you a whore! You're insufferable!"
"Then why did you bother coming to Arizona? It's not like you were obligated!!"
Why had I come to Arizona? Didn't she realize that she was the reason I got up in the morning? That the sun was worthless to me and if I could have my way she would be the center of the solar system? That she was already the center of my universe?
"You don't get it, do you?!!! For the last thirteen years, I've been trying to find any excuse possible to come and see you again. You have me under a spell that I can't break free of, a spell you cast over me when you were five!" I couldn't take it anymore. She would know everything.
"How does that sound normal to you?"
I faltered. I probably sounded like some pedophile stalker creep to her. Well, it couldn't get any worse so I continued.
"Phoenix, the boundaries of reality are pretty much null-and-void in this circumstance, don't you think? You were this young, innocent girl with wit, charm, and compassion. How was I supposed to ignore the fact that you would grow up? Time moves quickly when you don't age!"
"I was five! You can't create an image of a person from the way they were as a child!" She didn't sound as though she was arguing a point. Her voice betrayed a disbelief that flipped the switch for me. She didn't think that I could care for her…that anyone could care for her! It was a blow that I hadn't expected. The only undeniable truth in my world was my love for Phoenix.
"Apparently you're right. I see now that you've grown into a scared girl with serious trust issues!" It was an irrational thing to say. I hadn't followed my own instructions to tell her the whole truth, but she was spitting out such blasphemy that I could no longer be rational.
"You've known me for a day!"
"It doesn't matter. We're the same, Phoenix. I feel this connection with you unlike anything I've ever experienced. Don't even pretend that you don't feel it too." Did she feel the strange magnetic attraction that I felt? She had to! "But it's not even a matter of trusting me. What about that boy Cayden. If he wouldn't have said anything about your date, you would have denied it to the grave. Here you are, this strong, clever, person, and you don't let anybody besides your family see the real you!"
"What an excellent idea! Tell the world I'm a firebird! That would be grounds for a witch hunt." Was she trying to be difficult? Obviously that wasn't what I meant! The whole point of the argument was to get her to realize that she was amazing and that she should let other's—namely me!—bask in her otherworldly presence. This plan was crashing and burning faster than the Hindenburg.
Like the idiot I am, I continued.
"I wasn't talking about your abilities, merely the fact that you don't talk to anyone in this school outside of Madeline. I bet before yesterday you never even talked to Cayden! You don't trust anybody!"
"Maybe you're just upset that I don't trust you." She hit the nail on the head. I was suddenly angry. Yes I want you to trust me! More than anything in the world!
And then her words sunk in. She flat out told me that she didn't trust me. I was hurt, so I lashed out. IDIOT!!!
"Grow up, Phoenix. Life is worth absolutely nothing without trust." And I walked out the door, my heart shattering as I heard a stifled sob from behind.
************************
I stalked into our house, throwing Darius an agitated glare that had 'Don't even start with me!' written all over it. It was a lost cause because he always started with me regardless of my mood.
Evie came fluttering into the living room and plopped herself gracefully onto the oversized suede chair.
"What's the matter Noah?" she asked, sympathy filling her voice. It was impossible to be frustrated at the lack of privacy that this house afforded. Not when my darling little sister was so concern for my well being.
"Is it really that hard to make it through eight hours of school?" Darius asked, a smile lacing his voice. I lividly glowered at him as he shut his book and walked over to perch himself on the arm of Evie's chair.
"You're such a jerk, you know. Can't you see that something's wrong?" A small, appreciative smile crept across my face before disappearing a second later.
I sighed, knowing that I had no choice but to tell them everything that happened, even the intimate almost kiss. It was a byproduct of living together in the middle of nowhere for so long. I trusted Darius and Genevieve completely and I owed it to them to be honest.
I collapsed onto the matching suede sofa and recanted the tragic events of the day.
"You're an idiot you know. She doesn't belong to you. If you ask me, you're being a possessive freak," Evie chimed. It was like she had read my mind, but even so it was a blow to the ego to hear someone else voice those very same sentiments.
"Tough break, but it's for the best. Her family would probably draw and quarter you if they found out that you were talking to her. Do you think she'll tell the clan?" Darius asked.
I had to think for a moment. She was obviously upset with me, but had I angered her enough to betray my presence to her family? "I really don't know. I hope not." Darius frowned. The last thing that he—or any of us for that matter—wanted to do was fight with our fellow guardians.
"I don't think she will." I smiled at Evie. She was ever the optimist.
"Well, it doesn't matter much for right now. The Faryn clan is going down to Tucson. Apparently Phoenix and her brother had a run in with a feisty sylph yesterday. I'm not sure if they can handle it, though. I've been doing some research and sylphs are close relatives to sirens. I think that were talking about some hybrids down south which might explain the extent of the earthquakes. In general, the voice of a sylph is powerful enough to break a few windows at best, but if we're talking about mixed breeding here, a siren-sylph combo would be catastrophic." Darius had relinquished his seat on the armrest and was now pacing the room, a vertical wrinkle furrowed between his brows.
I was quiet for a second, and then I shot up from the sofa. "WHAT?? Phoenix went after the sylph? Is she insane?! This is all my fault! I was the one who told her to check her EMD reader. She could have been killed. I'm such an idiot!!"
Darius raised his eyebrow. "You told her about the disturbances? I've been expending months of effort on this case! Do you realize how much time I've spent researching? I wanted this case! The firebirds can't handle it and you know it, but now we have no choice but to stand by and watch them fail, then swoop in after the sylphs regroup. That might take months! You are and idiot! For God's sake Noah, I was the one who disabled their EMD!"
"Well, you might have told me that piece of information!" That might have been useful yesterday!
"Like you would have even heard me, you obsessive stalker!" Darius hissed.
"Shut up, Darius!" We were inches away from each other's face, in an intense shouting match. Evie jumped up from her chair and squeezed her tiny body between the tight space between us, shoving us to opposite sides of the room with her palms.
"Alright macho men! Calm the hell down and try to be rational or I'll have to go ape shit on your asses!" Her crude comment inexplicably calmed me down within a few seconds. Where does she learn these things?
"Good boys! Now, Dar, what exactly are the consequences for us and the Faryns if we let them handle the sylphs?" Evie the mediator asked.
"There's no way that the Firebirds can handle these hybrids. Firebirds great trackers, but they suck at ambushing. They probably don't even realize what they're dealing with. The only chance they have is if they kill off the leader, but I don't even know who's leading these creatures. They would need a crazy amount of luck!!" Darius resumed his living room trek.
"Could the Firebirds get hurt?" I piped up, fearful that my folly might jeopardize the safety of Phoenix's family…or worse—Phoenix!! "WAIT! Phoenix isn't going, is she?"
A short, booming laugh filled the room. "Yeah, right! Like the Faryns would trust her in the middle of a battle!" My heart rate calmed as he reassured my worries. "As for the rest of her family, they should be fine—hardly anything can kill them—but they might indivertibly cause a bit of destruction in the Tucson area. It all depends on how well Karlstadt plans out the attack. Still, it adds so much unnecessary trouble for us!"
"Should we try to help them?" Evie asked, unsure.
"They wouldn't accept it," I answered truthfully. The Wilders and the Faryns didn't exactly share a track record for camaraderie. Though I wished I could help, I knew that our presence would only serve to make things worse.
"Noah's right. We have no choice but to wait it out and see how the Firebirds handle the situations. If they don't epic fail, then our job might be easier. We should just make sure that Phoenix stays out of trouble when they leave Friday." Darius was an extremely talented spy, hence how he knew so much about this situation. It was somewhat disturbing, but highly useful.
Of course I would protect Phoenix with my life, but my raging jealous had not yet subsided and now that the conversation was coming to a close, my mind began to wander to all of the horrible things that I had said to her this morning. To add insult to injury, I was now indirectly responsible for almost get her killed yesterday.
I nodded and left the room, needing the cathartic release that could be found by way of painting. Evie gently patted my shoulder in concern, but I didn't dare make eye contact. Her eyes would most definitely be filled with sympathy and love that I didn't deserve. I didn't need to feel any more shame; I had reached my capacity.
********************
My mind was wrapped around Phoenix every second of the day. Every thought was consumed by her seldom seen smile, her smooth skin, and those deep emerald eyes. My vicious words had been spewed out of anger, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that Phoenix was not exactly a social butterfly—which was a thought that sadden me. The idea that she found herself remotely inadequate was sacrilege to the highest degree! And I had added fuel to the flame!
I kept my eyes peeled for her the next morning, arriving to school a bit later than normal as a safety net. It probably wasn't a great idea to confront her again, lest I make her cry once more. That I could not bear. But I needed to at least see her. I scanned the crowd, but she wasn't mingling—unfortunately, that shouldn't come as a surprise.
I turned my attention to the parking lot. Maybe she wasn't coming to school today. No. I spotted her bright red Pontiac parked in one of the spaces in front of the school. She was still sitting in the cab, her eyes closed, and her head bobbing wildly to some type of loud music that was leaking from the partially opened windows.
She was beautiful. Graceful—even when she was spazzing out.
And I could never have her. She wasn't meant for me despite how perfect we would be together, despite how my pulse quickened whenever I was near her. I was destined to stand in the shadows, an invisible admirer. Keep your hand at the level of your eyes, I inwardly joked.
Her movements slowed to a light sway, making her hair fall gently in front of her face. She rolled her neck, running a thin hand through her wild mane. I would give anything to be the person she would allow to brush away her stray hairs.
Her eyes flickered opened as if she had heard my sentiments. No. She wouldn't choose me; I was a common criminal in her opinion. She didn't trust me. She never would.
Her gaze widen as if she was confused by my presence. I was probably the last person she wanted to see right now. I turned away, sparing her from a prolonged period of unwelcome company, letting the pain wash over me.
My torture was monumentally increased during Euro History class where I was forced to endure an hour of pretending that Phoenix didn't exist, failing miserably, and settling for forcing myself to keep my eyes trained on the whiteboard. Even then, I almost slipped up a few times as I involuntarily let my head turn towards her. Each time I caught myself before making eye contact and each time I was disappointed that I didn't make eye contact.
The only thing that stopped me from whipping around and professing my love to Phoenix was the realization that she most likely hated me and if I ventured down that road it was sure to be both awkward and humiliating.
Still the electricity that ignited whenever I was near her raged like a furious forest fire, making it impossible to concentrate on anything besides the goddess sitting behind me.
After what seemed like ages, the bell rang saving me from the torture that could rival the ninth circle. I sprinted from the class, not giving Phoenix the opportunity to enter my line of sight because if that happened when we were in such close proximity to each other I knew I wouldn't be able to control my urges.
I compromised with myself. It was lunch period next and I shared the same session as Phoenix. I would allow myself to stare at her from afar, across the wide cafeteria. She would never have to know about my seriously deranged stalker tendencies as Darius would call them.
After taking a rather lengthy detour in hopes of arriving after Phoenix, which luckily happened to be the case, I stealthily slipped through the doors and claimed a seat that was a good distance away from her table. She was facing the opposite direction which I used as further justification for my disgusting behavior.
Her elbow was propped against the table, her cheek resting against her upturned palm. A cascade of brilliant red curls fell in front of her face as she poured over a rather large book. I craned my neck to get a better view. From this distance the tome resembled one of Darius' research books circa 100 BC. Was it smart for her to be reading an artifact that looked like it should be on display in a museum?
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Madeline strutted over, gave the tome a disapproving once over and muttered something to Phoenix that caused her to jump and animatedly shove the book into her bag.
The girls began to talk as the table filled. I almost combusted when Landon took a seat across from Phoenix. Perhaps I would be enjoying an extracurricular this afternoon—beating the shit out of an extremely stupid human! That sounds like fun.
I exhaled an angry breath and peeled my eyes away from moronic imbecile. What I saw next made me question all of my previous speculations.
Phoenix was effortless conversing with Cliff and Landon. The boys erupted in cheers and high-fived each other and then turned to the radiant Phoenix to bump knuckles with her. A brilliant smile was stretched across her face. From this distance it seemed real enough. Landon said something to her and I fisted my fingers as if doing so would be fair warning of my intentions. The only thing that stopped me from darting over to the table and 'opening up a can of whoop ass,' as Evie would say, was Phoenix's nonchalant grin. She wouldn't be grinning if he said something inappropriate to her, would she?
Apparently all that I had surmised about her was complete fiction. I had spent years protecting her from a distance, never truly getting close enough to make out the details of her flawless face. Still, I had thought I knew her better than myself. She seemed like the quiet, thoughtful brooding type, slow to warm up to anybody that she didn't strictly have to interact with. And here she was, the life of the freaking party.
I notice that one of the girls at the table was giving her a less than friendly glare. Again I felt the urge to 'smack a bitch' (another saying courtesy of Evie) but immediately felt ashamed when I realized that I had no qualms whatsoever about hitting a girl—at least this girl. Still, it was sick!
A few minutes later, however, this two-faced high school drama queen was laughing and conversing with Phoenix as if they were best friends. It was disgusting! Phoenix probably had no idea that her so called friends were such deceitful, insincere human beings! I longed to rescue her from their horrible company, in fact I had even begun to unknowingly walk towards her table, but I was yet again saved by the bell. My God! I was turning into such a cliché human!
How could she bestow her precious company upon such unworthy creatures? She was talking to Landon—Landon! the vulgar pot-head— but wouldn't even give me the time of day! How messed up is that!! She turned to meet my gaze in that very moment, probably seeing the pain, confusion, and jealously flaring up in my eyes. I couldn't let her think that I was stalking her, even though I pretty much was. That would probably bump me a few spaces up on her least favorite persons list, that is, if I wasn't already at the top. I pathetically scurried away, hoping that the crowd of milling teenagers would shield my pitiful state.
*******************
My family was not thrilled at my newly developed antisocial, moping attitude. I hardly surfaced from my studio, which was now plastered with paintings of Phoenix. Darius and Evie were worried about me, which made me feel even guiltier, but I couldn't deal with their endless stream of questioning. Normally our closeness never bothered me. It was actually quite comforting to have two people who were always willing to do anything to make me feel understood and accepted. But not now. I would rather feel the pain of rejection, at least it was something.
"Do you think we should talk to him?" Evie whispered from the hall. She utterly failed at being quiet as I heard her through my closed door.
"Maybe he just needs to be alone," Darius suggested. Good.
"He's obviously upset! We can't just let him sit in that room all day! He'll go mad!" Evie exclaimed in her attempt to be both quiet and forceful.
"He's only been in there for two days and he leaves when he goes to school. You're overreacting, Eve," reassured Darius, though his voice betrayed the nervous concern that he was trying to hide.
"But he's like a zombie whenever he's not in his studio. What the hell happened?!"
"I don't know, but he'll talk to us in time. Let's just leave him alone until he's ready. I suppose it's better that he's sublimating with his art than just being a catatonic freak." Darius achieved the impossible…a small smile flitted across my lips for the first time in almost four days.
"I bet this has to do with Phoenix. Her family's leaving for Tucson this morning. I probably could get away with paying her a visit and hearing her side of the story…" Evie started to say, but I'd had enough.
"Genevieve! Can't I just wallow in my own misery for a few days without you sticking your noise in my business?! Leave me ALONE, and more importantly leave Phoenix ALONE!" I screamed. Evie looked stunned and taken aback. I could count all of the times that I'd yelled at her on one hand in the past century. Her concern didn't deserve this reaction and I instantly felt like a douche. Darius gave me a stern look, but didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry, Eve. I know that you're just trying to help, but I'm still not ready to think about it yet, okay?" I said gently. That was technically a lie. I thought about Phoenix every second of the day. The horrendous insults I had hurled at her in the hallway, the way that scumbag Landon had talked about her, her warm and inviting personality that captivated everybody at her lunch table, and the fact that I could never have her for myself.
I had been under the impression that I was more competent at protecting Phoenix, but apparently I sucked at that too seeing as though she was almost killed by a sylph while I was floating on cloud freaking nine. That was the worst. She was almost hurt because of me. I should be thrown in jail for such a horrible crime!
Evie nodded, obviously still upset. Here comes the guilt that I was trying to avoid. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight bear hug so she that she would understand that I did, in fact, appreciate her concern. Her thin arms snaked around me. All was forgiven. Darius smacked me affectionately on the back before gently pulling Evie from my embrace and leading her into the green house under the pretenses of wishing to see a particularly fascinating plant that Evie was miraculously able to grow in this wasteland. She squealed and dashed a head of him like she was five rather than one hundred and five.
I sighed. I had made such a mess of our lives in record time.
Glancing at my watch, I reluctantly left the house for school. Time for the torture session to begin again. Oh, joy! The sick part was that I would subject myself to the most atrocious torments if it meant being near Phoenix.
The quad was already filling with congregating student when I landed and slipped into the crowd unnoticed. In true stalker form I scanned the crowd for any sign of flaming red hair and porcelain skin. My hyperaware-Phoenix-radar zoned in on its target in less than three seconds.
I strategically position myself so that I would pass by her as she climbed out of her car. I felt her electric stare focused on the back of my head (which I'd turned to make it seem like I wasn't the stalker that I truly was). She glanced away a second later and I turned my chin and peered at her through my periphery.
She clutched an enormous frothy drink that looked like it could cause some serious damage to her blood sugar levels. Of course, she was a Firebird so it probably didn't matter much, but still in looked really unhealthy.
Within the span of my internal health wellness monologue, Madeline had decided that it would be funny to send Phoenix pin wheeling into a huddle of boys. I was fuming. Maddie was supposed to be her best friend, why would she try to hurt Phoenix?
My anger at Madeline quickly redirected to the thin, lanky boy who was now cradling Phi in his scrawny arms. I wanted to tear her from his unworthy grasp, but then I realize that it was the same miscreant that had the honor of dating Phoenix. It felt as though my heart had been ripped into pieces, stomped on my Irish step dancers and then feed to the dogs.
I almost cried when she smiled at this unworthy human and stroked his arm. I was practically gawking at the scene in front of me by now. Apparently there was no God, or else I was on the naughty list and sentences to everlasting misery. She was so beautiful and I knew that I didn't deserve her, but neither did this child!
I heard her musical laugh over the roar of the rambunctious crowd of students that separated us. She moved away, but the idiot savant reclaim the distance like it was his birth right. I recalled the way that my arms felt around her thin, firm stomach and couldn't really blame him for wanting more. But I also knew that Phoenix had qualms with personal space invasion and I avidly hoped that she would flip out at him.
Instead, she smiled. The step dancing morphed into a raging West Side Story gang dance off.
Her eyes drifted over Cayden's shoulder and found mine. In that moment all my pain was gone. Perfection deserves my complete attention. She realized her mistake and shook her head as if to warn me that I would never be the one who she would smile at.
Bring on the stomp crew.
******************
I realize that I should probably be put on the neighborhood predator watch for being such a possessive psycho, but I couldn't help it. I had to see what Phoenix looked like for her date with that unworthy human. It would inevitable cause me pain, but I couldn't control my urge to see her.
I rocketed into the sky at exact 6:50, as I had eavesdropped on a conversation between Madeline and Phi and divulge that the date would begin at 7:00 sharp. If I timed it correctly, I would arrive at her house exactly at seven, just in time to see her leave. The wind rushed threw my hair as a zoomed over the brilliantly lit city. Dusk was the only time this shriveled up wasteland look remotely beautiful.
As I swooped down towards Phoenix's house, I was tempted to knock out Cayden who was nervously jogging up the walkway. I caught sight of the time machine that was masquerading as a car and shuddered. Who did this kid think he was? Marty McFly? Didn't he know that Deloreans were really unsafe cars? If this kid crash and so much as scratched my invincible deity he wouldn't live to see another day! Phoenix probably wouldn't appreciate me beating up her date, though, so I refrained.
Remaining invisible, I positioned myself on the top of a red rock boulder that made residence on Phoenix's front yard. After two soft knocks, Phoenix emerged in the most breathtaking green dress. The full moon illuminated her pearly white skin, casting her in a glowing halo. I wouldn't have thought that she could get any more desirable than she already was, but the dress hugged her in all the right places. She was not only drop dead gorgeous, she was sexy as hell. I tried to shake that thought from my head. It seemed disrespectful to think of her in that light.
Apparently Cayden wasn't oblivious to Phoenix's stunning beauty. An extremely silly grin spread across his face as he offered her a white rose which she accepted with a smile. Jealousy overtook me once again, but it was mingled with sadness. As much as I hated to admit it, Cayden was a nice kid who would treat her right. And Phoenix chose him, not me.
They made friendly conversation for a few minutes, laughing sporadically, before he motioned to where his car was parked around the corner.
Her reaction to the Delorean was classic. A smile danced on my lips as she made fun of his unconventional car choice, but I knew that she was joking with him which caused my smile to falter.
Before I knew it, they were speeding away— he was going much too fast for my liking—and I wouldn't follow them any longer. She didn't deserve a psycho stalker and that's all I was good for.
Why, though? Why couldn't she laugh with me—smile, giggle…for God's sake I would even settle for a threatening fist pump. Anything would be better than the disappointed expression that clouded her visage every time she slipped up and met my obsessive gaze. I wasn't even worth a display of outward anger. Instead all I got was indifference—disappointment if I was lucky.
I soared into the sky, needing to get away from Phoenix's house. Perhaps I would be able to think properly if I was away from the place that she slept. Oh…why did I even bring that fact up? She sleeps in this house!
Alright, pedophile, keep flying!
Without much higher thinking processing, I arrived at my haven of sorts. There's just something about sitting on the top of a five hundred foot high peak in the middle of the desert that triggers my relaxation response.
But not today!
I couldn't escape Phoenix. My mind wrapped around every memory involving her like I was drowning and just the mere thought of her could provide me with oxygen.
As I sat in silent contemplation, I realized that I could not let Phoenix go. No matter how wrong it was for me to interfere more than I already had. She deserved to live her own life, a life that didn't include me—she had already made that perfectly clear.
I loved her. Loved her more than anything else in this seriously deranged universe. The very thought of leaving her to fend for herself in such a dark and cruel world was ludicrous, something that I refused to do. But the idea of continuing my Lamont Cranston-like existence, lurking in the shadows but never making by presence known, was the worst possible reality imaginable.
Phoenix was going on one tiny date and to me it seemed like the end of the world. What would happen when she started getting serious with someone—someone who wasn't me?
She would never know the extent of my affection. She would forever be under the impression that I'm nothing more than a malicious, kidnapping sycophant who tried and failed to get into her good graces.
WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
I had to see her. Touch her. Kiss her. Tell her everything.
My thoughts were incoherent, but completely logical. For me, there would never be another Phoenix Faryn. I had to try harder to make her realize that I could ignite the same feels in her as well. 'Much madness is Divinest Sense—To a discerning Eye,' after all.
Consumed with my new found confidence, fortified with an insane amount of insanity, I took a running jump off the peak and rocketed towards Phoenix's house.
I landed with an ungraceful thud and pounded on her door with all of my might, adding in a few strings of doorbell rings for good measure. Why was she taking so long? Was she okay in there? Was she with Cayden in there? Oh, Jesus this was such a bad idea. I should turn back now before I do something stupid.
But then she opened the door wearing possible the sexiest outfit ever. Her thin body and full curves were scantly clad in a black lace top with a matching pair of panties.
"Madeline, is it really necessary to wake me up at five thirty in the morning? What's your deal," she murmured as if she was half asleep. Five thirty? What an idiot I was! She was probably exhausted and here I was banging obnoxiously on her door in the wee hours of the morning!
No. I came here for a reason. I needed her to know everything!
Her eyes fluttered open after a few seconds of silence and widened immediately when she took in my miserable form.
The fire within me ignited once more. Would she hate or love me for what I was about to say? Probably the former. I stared at her with all of the emotion that possessed my pitiful body.
How could she love such a feeble creature? She was strong, brave, kind—everything that I wasn't. My polar opposite. Urg! I shudder ran through my body and I balled my fist up to try to suppress this outward display of weakness.
"Noah? What's wrong?" Concern filled her voice…hope filled my heart. Perhaps on some miniscule level, she did care about me. Her voice was a panacea for my tense and excessively crazed demeanor. But then again, when did things ever work out for me. I could feel my face fall into its patented emotionless mask. Best not to expect much, that way it won't hurt as bad when she rejects me. "Phoenix?" I croaked. Who was I kidding? It would hurt like a bitch no matter what I expected.
"Noah? What's wrong? Please tell me!" She was concerned. It wasn't just in my imagination! Neither was that twitch of her hand. Did she want to touch me? If that were true than she didn't consider me a social leper who could only destroy her life. I was glowing for the first time it what seemed like ages.
"Please, Noah."
It was now or never. "I can't do it anymore, Phoenix. I tried. I'm sorry, but I'm not strong enough. Selfishness has never been one of my defining qualities before, but that particular trait seems to have resurfaced with a vengeance. I just can't do it anymore."
Her eyes scrunched up in confusion as if she wasn't sure what I was telling her. Or she understood completely and was disgusted at my unhealthy obsession.
"Don't let me stop you. I understand," she squeaked. What? Now it was my turn to be baffled.
"You are the reason for all of this, Phoenix! I can't bring myself to dwell on any thought that doesn't revolve around you! Everything in my world was built upon your needs, your safety.
I've waited my entire life to feel the electricity that you ignited in me, setting my veins alight with warmth. It began thirteen years ago, and it didn't matter that you were just a child…all I cared about was your intoxicating laugh, your knowing smile." My world revolved around her. How could she not see this undeniable fact?
"My duty became to protect you with all of my might. The hold that you had on me, from the very moment I first laid eyes on you, was most unnatural—I was, I am, fully aware of that fact…"
Could I get any creepier? Argh! There was no way…NO FREAKING WAY…that I could explain the way she made me feel without coming off as a complete loony. I stabbed my hand into my hair and yanked at my locks with all my might. Perhaps if I ripped my scalp off, she would be able to read my thoughts and this would all be that much easier. Or she would call the local psych ward! Arg!
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, Noah! I can trust you…I can change. Please just don't hate me when you leave. I can't bare it!" she sobbed.
This one fallacious comment was enough to snap me back into reality. She didn't want me to hate her. That would mean that she truly did care about. It also meant that she was just as insane as I was. No matter how many years I lived, not one second would be spent hating her.
I had to correct this fictitious thought immediately.
"Hate you? It's an impossibility! The very second we returned you to your family in Arizona thirteen years ago I have been meticulously scouring the general area, desperately trying to keep you safe. Any creature that could so much as give you a nose bleed, I crushed before it had a chance to come within twenty miles of you! Why do you think that your family has to travel so far from home to go on raids? Because I don't trust them enough to protect you properly! The only competent one is Karlstadt! And now with the sylphs in Tucson…" My thoughts drifted to Darius' prediction of the battle that was probably beginning at this very second. She needed me now more than ever, I reasoned. I simply had to take her anxious mind off of her family's inevitable defeat.
My madness was trying to fabricate excuses to be near her. The truth was that I wanted her all to myself. Forever. I forced all of my passion into my stare, hoping that Phoenix would realize that she's what I lived for.
"Phoenix, you have no idea how hard you've made this! I wanted to mutate that little, harmless human for being able to touch you, talk to you in confidence—and I know that is not healthy! I wanted to hurt him because you allowed him a chance to make you feel special.
I'm sorry that I can't leave you alone! I can't sit by and watch you charm the entire student body… the entire world, a feat you could easily accomplish if you wanted to. I can't pretend that I'm unaffected by your presences any longer! Phoenix, I LOVE YOU! It may be the freakiest, strangest love imaginable, but it's also the strongest. I love you!"
I said it! She knows! I was alit with happiness. Without thinking, I scooped her into my arms, found her lips, and fervently kissed her.
Her body fit mine like a missing puzzle piece. Greedily, I pulled her closer. If I could have my way, these arms would never relinquish their hold.
I began to think that this wasn't the best idea, as she was stiff and unresponsive, but still I persistently showered her with kisses. Instead of being responsible and pulling a way, I urged her to feel the electricity that was coursing through my veins. I grabbed her lower lip between mine and sucked gently.
And then my prayers were answered. She threw her arms around my neck and tangled her willowy fingers into my hair, pulling my head back as she flicked her tongue along my lip.
Holy Jesus! I groaned with pleasure and let my hands explore her flawless body.
She wanted more! How could this have happened? I was expecting her to stab me with some ancient Firebird relic, but instead I'm given the gift of perfection!
She hitched her leg over my hip and covered my elated smile with her plush lips. That was all the incentive I needed to grab her other leg and carry her into the hall, all the while never breaking our passionate kiss.
Apparently, there was a God and he didn't hate me.
THANKS FOR READING!!! Tell me what you thought!!! REVIEW!!