Chapter 11

When The Unthinkable Happens

"Kim!"

Shego sat upright suddenly coming out of her sleep instantly regretting the movement, as pain shot through her right arm. She looked down to see it in a sling.

"Easy. Don't strain that arm too much its broken badly at the joint."

Shego looked to her right to see a male doctor and she grabbed his shirt and pulled him close with a deadly look on her face.

"Where is Kim?"

The doctor looked at Shego with a sad expression. He looked away which pissed Shego off more.

"WHERE IS KIM?" Shego shouted at the doctor as he looked back to her. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath before answering.

"She is….. she's dead Shego. She fell into the flames. They were too hot, it would have incinerated anyone instantly. I'm sorry."

Shego blinked as tears began to form in her eyes. "No. You're lying!"

The doctor just looked at Shego as she held him firmly in her gaze..

"It's not true! NO!"

Tears were streaming down Shego's face as she finally let go of the doctor and let her body go limply in a sitting position as she sobbed. She clutched the sheets hard in her hand wadding them up.

"Mom?"

Shego looked to her left to see her daughtersat her bedside, and Kim's parents in seats at the far side of the room. All four of them had red puffy eyes: Evidence that they had received the news. The twins had obviously understood then and understood now as new tears formed. Shego motioned for the two of them to climb up on the bed with her and they did. Shego pulled both of them close with her left arm and cradled them realizing that they were all she had left of Kim. The doctor and Kim's parents left the room to give them privacy. The small sad family cried together as they fell asleep. Shego was free to leave the hospital the next day, mainly because she just didn't want to be there. Not because the doctors really thought she was ready to leave. The drive home was silent as the dark cloud followed the family everywhere they went. Shego went about as normally as she could without Kim there. She was constantly swallowing a lump in her throat as so many things reminded her of Kim. She made sure to tuck the girls in just the way Kim would every night then headed off to her cold lonely bed. She would lie there unable to sleep and finally gave in as the tears came, streaming down her face soaking her pillow. She had on a pair of Kim's old pj's for comfort and clutched at Kim's pillow. The sound of Shego's door being opened caught her attention as she sat up to find her daughters standing there. "Mom, can we sleep with you tonight? We're scared and Mommy isn't here anymore."

Sheki's little voice cracked as she finished the sentence and Shego opened her arm up to let them in. The twins came onto the bed and snuggled with their only parent, as they slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Shego looked down at her two daughters and made a secret promise to them right then. "I will never let anything happen to you two. I promise."

The days that followed weren't any easier as Shego set up the funeral for her wife. The GJ agents had been searching the rubble nonstop for 5 days. Shego had been out for two and it had taken two days to get the funeral set up and ready. Ron and Bonnie stopped by frequently to check up on Shego and the twins, and to get some closure themselves. The event had obviously hit them hard. Especially Ron. Kim had been his best friend since kindergarten and she had been the first friend he had made when he moved. Even Rufus was sad at the loss of the red-haired woman he had known. The day of the funeral arrived and as always since Kim's death Shego woke with her daughters in her bed. One on each side. Shego sighed to herself as she pulled herself from her dreams, where she was still with Kim, her life undisturbed and perfect. Shego carefully maneuvered her left arm out from under Kasy, and moved off the bed quietly as to not disturb her sleeping daughters. Shego headed for the shower and stripped herself of her clothing taking care with the sling as she straightened her arm out and gritted her teeth. She stepped in and let the hot water wash down her body somewhat reliving her of the sorrow and tension she had. She took her time as she washed her hair, then slowly moved down to her skin washing with a slow steady pace. Shego wished she could bring Kim in with her, just one last time. She stepped out of the shower and dried off her body to look in the mirror and found dark bags under her eyes. She huffed in frustration realizing that putting makeup around her eyes today would probably be a bad idea. She headed back into her room and woke the girls up so they could start getting ready. Since Kim's death Kasy had listened very carefully to Shego and did everything her Mom had asked of her without hesitation. Both girls went to their room to get ready and leave their Mom to get dressed and ready herself. Shego went to the drawers to grab a black bra, and panties, then headed to her closet and grabbed the clothing she had picked out the night before. She pulled on a black tank top as an undershirt then a dark green button up shirt followed by a black knee length skirt with a black sports coat to top it all off. She put her necklace on next followed by the earrings that matched, then put her heels on and finally the ring. Kim's perfect ring. Once Shego had proposed Kim had gone out and gotten Shego a ring also, and now Shego held it in her hand as a single tear dropped from her eye and fell on the ring. Shego took a deep breath and slid the ring on her finger then went downstairs to fix the girls some breakfast. Shego didn't do anything fancy this morning just oatmeal and waffles. Once their breakfast was done she went up to their room to see how they were doing. Sheki was putting on her shiny black shoes that went with her black dress and bow that was holding her hair back. Kasy was struggling with the zipper on the back of her dress and Shego went over and helped her get it done. Shego helped them finish up mainly with Kasy then looked them over once more.

"Ok. Breakfast is ready but be sure to eat it before it gets cold."

Shego's voice was low and sad as she spoke. Both girls nodded then went downstairs and ate as they were asked.

"Mom? Why you not eat?"

Shego looked over to Sheki and offered a small smile. She was supposed to be helping her daughters get through this, but they were helping her out just as much.

"I'm not hungry, Sweetie."

The truth wasn't that Shego wasn't hungry, it was that she had a big not in her stomach that had been there since she woke up that morning. She couldn't seem to get it to go away. Shego looked to the clock to see it was almost time to leave. "Ok you two we need to get a move on."

The twins finished up and let Shego clean up the bowls and put them in the dishwasher. Shego then took Sheki's hand with her left hand while Kasy reached up and held Shego's right as it hung in a low sling. The small family got in the car and began to head to the church.

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The ride to the church was silent as the car drove along at a steady pace. Shego pulled into the parking lot and found an empty spot next to Ann and James' car. The family got out and moved to the inside of the church. Shego felt Kasy and Sheki grip her hands tighter as the casket came into view. Shego looked down to see both of her daughters with tears in their eyes. Kasy looked up to her with sorrow on her face.

"Mommy in there?"

Shego took a steady breath to keep herself from crying before she answered. "No, Kasy. She's not in there. It's just for show."

Shego looked around and was shocked to see so many people. She didn't even know half of them. She looked around and spotted Ann, James, Jim, and Tim sitting together in the second row keeping to themselves. Kim's brothers were for once quiet as they sat with their heads down. She looked around some more to find Dr. Director, and Amy in the far corner of the church, and Ron and Bonnie in the booth three sections up from that. Ron had tears streaming down his face and Bonnie was doing all she could to comfort him. She looked up to see Shego, offering a small solemn smile then whispered something in Ron's ear. He jerked upright and tried to wipe his tears as he smiled and waved unconvincingly to Shego and the twins. Shego nodded her head toward them, then headed over. Bonnie was up in a flash and hugged Shego as she approached the booth.

"Well look who's here! It's my two favorite twins in the whole wide world!" Bonnie leaned down and embraced the small children.

"Hey, Auntie Bonnie." Both girls said with their heads down. Bonnie sighed in defeat as she looked sadly at the two girls.

"Go see Uncle Ron for me, ok?"

Both girls moved silently over to Ron and took a seat.

Bonnie asked, "How are you holding up?"

"Fine."

"Shego, if you need anything just ask. Ok?"

Shego nodded and sat down next to her kids who were holding Rufus, as he did his best to cheer them up. The minister rose to the podium and looked at everyone in the room. "If I could please get everyone to take their seats please… Kim Possible will be forever missed and forever cherished…."

Shego didn't hear a thing he was saying as she stared blankly at the casket. It was Kim's funeral, and she couldn't even be there. Bonnie noticed Shego's blank stare. She put her hand on the older woman's shoulder. "Shego? You ok?"

Shego just looked over to Bonnie then hung her head and closed her eyes keeping back the tears. Bonnie hugged Shego and held onto her for support. The prayers and speech was long and painful. Finally it was time for friends and family to speak. Shego soon learned why there was such a turnout. All the people she didn't know were all people Kim had saved throughout her life, and there were several who wanted to say thank you one last time. James, Monique, and Bonnie all spoke about the good times, and even Wade had made an appearance and spoke. Finally the last person left the podium and Shego stood up from the booth and walked up to the podium.

"Um, Hi. I know most of you don't know me, or maybe you do. To fill everyone in I was Kim's wife. Kim made a big change in my life as she has in all of our lives. While she didn't physically save me, she saved my heart and put me on a better path." Shego looked down and stared at the podium as she felt tears threatening to come on. "Kim was a good person and a better wife. She would do anything for anyone. She gave me a life I never thought possible. I have two beautiful daughters, a nice house. Until recently, I had Kim. She always amazed me as it seemed she could do anything, which was her motto: "Anything is possible for a Possible". I remember one time when it was just the four of us. Me, Kasy, Sheki, and Kim… we had gone to the playground for the girls and Kasy of course had run amuck and skinned her knees. Kim was there immediately, holding Kasy and putting a band aid over the injury, kissing it to make her feel better. Kim has always been like that ever since I first met her, loving and caring especially for those she loves. I never thought it would have ended like it did. With Kim so young. I… just… I wish I could have a little more time with Kim."

Shego stepped down and took her seat as the pasture stood up and continued the ceremony. The minister spoke briefly, then it was time to carry the casket out to the hearse. The sky was dark as grey clouds blocked out the sun, which made the afternoon even more sorrowful. Kim's father, Ron, Dr. Director and Shego carried the casket to the vehicle and set it in. Then they went to their respective vehicles and followed the hearse to the graveyard. The same group carried the casket to the resting place and set it on the platform that would be lowered into the ground. One by one family and friends walked up to put a single rose onto the casket, with Kasy, Sheki and Shego last. Shego had gotten special roses for the occasion with the petals died a light green for herself and her daughters. Everyone took their seats as the pasture said the final prayer and the casket was lowered into the ground. The grave diggers began to shovel the dirt onto the casket. Shego watched as the hole was filled and Kim's gave was set. The girls began sobbing and Shego embraced them in a tight hug as she stood firm against her own tears and let her daughters cry into her.

"Shego." Shego looked to her left to see Dr. Director at her side. She sighed then sent her daughters to go stand by Ron and Bonnie. Shego stood and faced Dr. Director. "I am sorry about Kim."

"Yeah? You and five hundred other people. What do you want?" Shego had an edge of annoyance in her voice wanting to simply be left alone.

"Just to tell you however much time you need off, take it."

Shego nodded as Dr. Director put a hand on her shoulder then left. Bonnie approached her then while she left the kids with Ron. "Shego, you know it's going to be ok. Right?"

"Bonnie….. Could you and Ron do me a favor and watch the girls? Here are the keys to the car. Just take them back to my place. I need some time to think."

"Yeah sure, anything Shego."

Bonnie took the keys then hugged Shego tight being careful not to put pressure on Shego's injured arm. Shego walked over to Ron and bent down to her daughter's level.

"I need you two to be very good for Uncle Ron and Aunt Bonnie. Ok? I will be home later."

The twins nodded their heads then left with Ron and Bonnie. Shego stayed at Kim's grave and dealt with everyone coming up and saying how sorry they were for her loss. Shego nodded her head and waited for the last person to leave so she could be alone. She sighed as she looked down at Kim's grave and got on her knees. Finally surrendering to her sorrow as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.

"Well, Princess, looks like I will need to come visit you here now, huh? I don't know if you are actually in heaven, but, if you can hear me, I still love you. I just want to know why. (Sob) Why couldn't you hold on? (Sob) I don't know if I can do all this or if… (Sob)… I even should. (Sob)… I don't know if I can raise our daughters … (Sob)… by myself Kim. You have always been the more emotional one, and I… (Sob)… was the one who watched from the sidelines. (Sob)… I don't know if I can be as compassionate… (Sob) or understanding as you…. (Sob)…. Why did you leave me Kim?... (Sob) Why! … (Sob) I needed you and you left!"

Shego hit the ground repeatedly with anger and despair as she crumpled up on the ground and cried her heart out as rain began to fall from the sky. She pulled her knees to her chest and let the cold rain hit her skin, soaking her hair and clothing. She picked herself up after about twenty minutes and dragged herself out of the cemetery and towards the nearest bar. Her feet felt heavy as she walked down the deserted road and finally reached the bar. She swung the door open and stepped inside dripping wet. She got odd looks as she went to the bar and sat down. "Scotch, and make it strong."

Shego ignited her good hand and began to dry herself with the plasma at a low heat and finished as the bartender set her drink down. Shego began drank the beverage and got more until she had a nice buzz going.

"Hey there, Sweet Stuff. How about we head out of here and go have some fun?"

Shego turned to see a group of what looked like bikers standing behind her. "Get lost. I'm in no mood."

"Come on. Were just looking for a good time baby. Maybe we could help with the healing process of that arm." The bikers closed in around her and Shego set her drink down hard.

"Ok, look. If you don't back off and get the hell out of here, I am going to rearrange your face! Got it!"

"Oooo, looks like we've got a fighter. That'll do just nice. I like it when they scream."

"You metal heads couldn't take me on your best day."

"Really! You have a broken arm and there's more of us. What could you possibly do?"

"You really want to find out? Then grow a pair big enough to please a woman and come find out."

"You BITCH!"

The one who was talking to her the entire time stood up and swung. Shego moved with her drink still in hand dodging the attack and kicked him on the side of the face knocking him out cold. His buddies looked on in shock as Shego took another drink from her glass and stared at the group. They charged at Shego with anger on their faces. Shego maneuvered away from every blow to deliver one decisive blow to each of the men, knocking them out just as she had with the first. Shego looked around at the floor that was littered with the unconscious group as she finished off her drink, then sat back down and grabbed another.

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Bonnie looked nervously at the clock. It was almost eleven o'clock and Shego still wasn't back.

"Ron, Shego still isn't back. Have you heard from her?"

"No, why?"

"I'm worried. You think she left town?"

Ron looked to his fiancée and smiled. "Bonnie, this is Shego were talking about. She loves those kids too much to just skip town. Just give her awhile to cool off I'm sure she'll be back around shortly."

Ron moved over and held her as she leaned against the table. Rocking her back and forth. "What's really bothering you?"

"Kim is gone, and she's never coming back. She won't be here for the wedding, won't he here to help me pick out my dress. She's going to miss Kasy and Sheki growing up."

"I know baby. It's going to be ok." Ron held Bonnie as the tears began to come on. He pulled her face up to place a tender kiss on her lips. Ron lingered there for a Moment before the kiss was broken as the front door was unlocked. The door opened to reveal Shego wet again, and she was swaying slightly. She walked unsteadily into the house while Bonnie and Ron rushed to her. They grabbed her arms as she began to slouch.

"Ummm, hey, you two."

Bonnie looked at Shego with a worried expression on her face. "Shego? What happened?"

Bonnie and Ron walked Shego into the kitchen and set her on a chair. "Are you drunk?!"

Shego looked at Bonnie with a drunken smile, her eyes half open. "What do you think, BonBon?"

She started laughing at the expression on Bonnies face.

"Sure, Kimmy is dead. Life is for the living though! I don't see the big problem. So I got drunk. Not like I have anything to worry about….. I just have to raise two kids on my own…."

Shego's laugh began to turn to sobs as she admitted everything and reality hit her like a wall.

"(Sob)…. And the person I loved is gone forever…. (Sob) ….. And I'm going to be lonely the rest of my life….. (Sob)…. because I can't love anyone else….."

Bonnie and Ron did their best to comfort Shego as she cried. Bonnie was holding Shego in a loose hug while Ron rubbed her back. Bonnie looked to Ron with a sad helpless expression, all she got in return was the same expression from Ron. They both wanted to help Shego and make all of this go away, but there was nothing they could do right now. Shego's sobs slowed after about ten minutes and Bonnie talked in a soothing caring voice. "Shego…. Come on let's get you to bed. Would you like that?"

Shego just nodded her head up and down. "Ok… come on. The girls are already in your room."

The mention of her daughters caught Shego's attention as she looked at Ron. "How are they doing?"

"It took a while, but after I put Rufus in there they fell asleep." "They are still sad like you and I think it will be nice for them to wake up with you there."

Bonnie and Ron held Shego steady as they climbed the stairs and went to Shego's room. Ron poked his head in and called Rufus silently to wake his sleeping buddy. Bonnie led Shego through the door and helped her undress down to her underwear then began to rummage through Shego's drawer for some pj's. She pulled out a dark green silk button up top and green pants that matched. Shego shook her head no as she looked at the outfit.

"Grab Kimmy's."

Bonnie just nodded and grabbed the exact same outfit just smaller and a cream color instead of dark green. Bonnie helped Shego put on the outfit then led her to the bed. Shego crawled to her daughters who were side by side and put her good arm around them.

"You want us to stay the night Shego?"

Shego looked at Bonnie from her pillow and pulled her girls closer to her.

"No. You and Ron can go home….. Thank you."

With that Shego closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Bonnie and Ron were over at Shego's early the next morning to see how she and the kids were doing.

"Hey Shego."

Bonnie warmly greeted Shego and gave her a hug. Shego just stood there with her arms at her side.

"I know you two just got here but I would appreciate if yall could watch the girls for an hour or so. Is that ok?"

Ron answered her with a calm and genuine smile.

"Of course it is. Just means that these two can see us."

"Thank you. It should only be about an hour. I need to go talk to Kim's parents. Call if you need anything."

Shego hugged her daughters before she left for the older Possible residence.

Bonnie, Ron, and Rufus tried hopelessly to cheer up Kasy and Sheki with anything that they could come up with. In the end they settled to let one girl hold Rufus, while the other was held close by either Bonnie or Ron. Bonnie was currently holding Sheki while Kasy gently pet Rufus.

"Hey I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick, can you handle this?"

"Of course I can Ron, go."

Ron kissed Bonnie and Kasy on the head as he headed upstairs to the bathroom. Bonnie continued to hold Kasy close comforting the girl as best she could when keys at the front door could be heard. Bonnie looked at the clock and her brow furrowed. It had only been fifteen minutes since Shego left she couldn't be back that quick. The door opened to reveal Kim Possible with her hair a mess and her cloths torn and ragged. Kim's voice was low and menacing when she spoke.

"What are you doing with my daughters?"