Dear Diary,
I saw him again today. I can't believe it's possible for anyone to be that handsome. Do you think he'll ever notice me, Diary? But no. I'm not worthy of his attention. I'm barely worthy enough to wash his sheets. Sometimes, Diary, I snuggle in his sheets before I wash them, and pretend we are snuggling in them together. And this one time—
"Ooh, who doe Peevesie see here? What is the ickle house elf writing?"
The poltergeist swooped down in an attempt to see the writing, but Dobby slammed the book shut quickly. His big, elf ears were a peculiar grey color. He looked oddly reminiscent of the time Ron Weasley accidently walked in on Professors Snape and Dumbledore in an extremely compromising position.
"Dobby is doing nothing! Dobby is working like a good house elf!" Dobby said as he took a handful of his shirt to scrub the table he had been writing on.
"Nuh uh, ickle house elf. I saw what you were writing. You luuurve somebody," The poltergeist said with an evil grin, though he did not announce it to the rest of the castle. "Tell dear Peeves who the lucky man his," he said in a greasy voice.
Dobby looked left and right fearfully. "Dobby is being in love," he whispered, "with someone that isn't knowing he exists." He buried his face in his tiny hands.
Outside, Peeves looked every bit the sympathetic friend. Inside, however, he was as giddy as a schoolgirl. This had major pranking potential. He just had to play it right.
"Little, darling Dobby, why don't you tell your beloved of your existence? You can get together and have oodles and oodles of offspring," Peeves said in his greasy, sympathetic voice.
The house elf gasped and shook its head until its ears fwapped against its head. "No! Dobby is not being worthy of his love! Dobby is a lowly house elf, and he is the great—"
Peeves cut him off. "You're a catch, Dobby. You can cook and clean and you have those sexy ears. Who wouldn't want you?"
"Really?" Little tears leaked out from Dobby's eyes. He shivered with excitement. Maybe Peeves was right. Besides, what did Dobby know? He was only a house elf after all. Decision made, he sprung to his feet. "Dobby is doing it! Dobby is telling his beloved!"
"Go get 'em, cowboy!"
With a happy, love-filled crack, Dobby disappeared. He reappeared in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory. He looked around a bit before he finally jumped up on one of the beds. He swept off his many hats and bowed deeply.
"Dobby is loving you with all of his heart, and he is hoping you is feeling the same."
From the head of the bed, Teddy stared back at Dobby with his hard, plastic eyes. No, he did not feel the same.