Hello and Merry Christmas to all my readers!
Sorry for the long wait, hope this chapter is worth it. For your information, this chapter would conclude the first part of Iruka at Hogwarts. Part two will see a darker, more serious side of the story. If there are any funnies at all, it'll probably be macabre.
Lots of love from KT-chan! ^^
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Harry and Naruto managed to portkey back without further incident, only to suffer through a half an hour of screaming from Iruka-sensei in three different languages. Harry swore the man did not even pause to take a breath. Finally, Iruka had to stop and sip a glass of water provided by a very pleased Snape. When the glass was set down Iruka advanced with ominious purpose. Harry cringed reflexively. He was prepared to be belted, hit or otherwise damaged by their OM professor. The man was a believer of corporal punishment after all, and had more Howls from parents screeching about his 'duty to his students'.
Harry was therefore very surprised and quite disturbed when he was squashed into a very tearful, very powerful embrace. It was like being hugged by Molly Weasley, only worse. The sensei didn't even have a uterus Harry could put the blame on.
Weren't Asians supposed to be more stoic than this?
As for Naruto, well, the boy lacked the typical 'eww, like don't embarrass me in front of my friends' gut reaction against adult PDA. The blonde actually threw his arms around Iruka-sensei's waist. Babbling on and on about something or other in his native language. Iruka had patted him on the head, set him next to Harry and then started the yelling again. Harry was still reeling from the 'hug' from Iruka-sensei when he noticed Mad-Eye Moody beckoning him over. Eager for a reason to escape the emotionally spastic sensei, he hurried over to the DADA professor.
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Iruka massaged his brow. He was used to dealing with series of garbled explanations in his line of work. It was a specially developed skill. He is a teacher of small children and a desk ninja at the Mission Room after all, and someone had to decipher all that into coherent data for grading or filing. He's a ninja, he had seen monsters, demons, devils in disguise, men dressed up as women, Kotetsu deliberately inhale cheese through his nose and Orochimaru's underwear (The last part was through Anko's machinations, he'd pestered a Yamanaka for days for a memory jutsu just to get rid of that horrifying view).
However, he'd yet to witness such confusion mix of incompetence, blustery and beaming twinkly eyes. Although that there was that one time in Wave country where someone actually mistaken Iruka for the Daimyo's son... He was immediately slotted in as the said son's double for his various amorous escapades. The mission was labelled PA for Perfect Alibis. It was one of the more... interesting assignment he'd ever gotten. One that landed him with a boatful of gossip which Sandaime had awarded him a good A rank pay for a simple C rank mission.
Ah, those were the days.
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on one's outlook, palace life had reduced the once good looking man to obesity and thinning hair. There was very little that would suggest that both men had once looked very alike, five years ago.
Running blunt fingers through his dark tresses, worn loose like Severus, Iruka thought about the amazing incompetence of these magical people and their incredible ability to find useless sparkly ways to waste their magic. Honestly, for all the spells created to float, fly and do various useless things only one spell specifically created to kill? When Iruka noticed Mad Eye Moody wave Harry Potter over, he had not thought much of it. Iruka had no quarrel with the old war horse, the man was annoyingly curious about his world and arsenal of jutsu, but Iruka was able to deflect his questions with the same babble of nonsense he gave to the Oriental class. It was only when Moody began hustle Harry out of sight that Iruka felt something amiss. That, and the tale-tell creep of dread up his back that signalled a hidden killing intent.
Swiftly, smoothly he snapped his attention to Naruto who was also looking in the direction where Harry had disappeared with Moody. There was a constipated look on his face that signified heavy thinking. The boy knew enough to be uneasy but was unable to pin point the source due to inexperience. Smiling, Iruka started off after the two, "Come, let us see what Moody wishes to say to Harry that could not be said here,"
Severus was immediately alert, the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes doubled, McGonagal was a little confused, but instinct warned her that something was wrong. Being the Head of House for small, rambunctious children had honed her alertness to phenomenal level, though not the battle ready, paranoid type that signified Iruka and Severus' ability.
They trailed the two at a careful distance, with Dumbledore making the odd inane remark and Naruto's babbling to provide white noise and cover for their real purpose. Fortunately, Severus' glower was able to deter most of the zealous reporters hurrying over to interview 'the Co-Champion of the Tri-Wizard's Cup'.
"Helloo~~! Excuse me, excuse me!"
Most being the operative word here.
As the shrill and terribly familiar voice yelled after them, Iruka hid a grin at Severus' grimace. It was the reporter lady with the most godawful fashion sense. At a discreet signal, Naruto formed a clone at the next turn and had it running interference for them.
"Hiya, hiya! Reporter Lady!" the clone crowed, hopping towards her in blindingly orange robes. People who happened to look their way had to avert their gaze or at least shield their eyes from the combination of clashing colours. The threat of red and yellow hair on top of magenta and orange robes was enough to drive even Hermione to sneer.
"Oooh, Narutoh dahling," Rita, Iruka recalled her name, crooned, "how's my favourite champion?"
"We're totally awesome! Didja see? Didja see?" Naruto-clone bounced around, leading her away from the group that were currently hurrying yet trying not to look like they're hurrying towards Moody's rooms.
For some strange reason, possibly due to their similar taste in fashion, (Iruka had some suspicion about the origin of Naruto's horrible orange robe spell.) Naruto and the reporter woman had hit off almost immediately. A fact which annoyed Harry Potter a lot, understandable since Rita likes to slander him in her articles. In Iruka's humble opinion, that Harry Potter brat brought a lot of the grief upon himself. The brat was moody and tended to scowl at every question as though he had something to hide. It was these types of habits that made reporter sharks think there's blood in the water and went after him relentlessly.
In contrast, Naruto babbled and answer just about every question Rita has. Even tough questions like where did they come from, who his parents were and what's the real story behind the OM classes did not faze him. A typical Naruto interview might go like this:
"Hmm, let's start with your name, shall we?"
"Yeah, yeah! My name is Uzumaki Naruto dattebayo! I like orange and Sakura-chan and ramen and Severus Snape-sensei and Iruka-sensei is awesome and want to someday be just like him!"
"Ah, yes," in the background, the magical quill scratched quickly, "Where did you and your sensei come from?" sly voice, "there had been many stories, if you could confirm some-"
"Yosh! Iruka-sensei and me from village of the Leaf dattebayou! It is awesome village with really huge face on mountains call hokage!" he had one foot on the table by this time, "One day I have face on mountain, I be most greatest hokage dattebayo!"
"How interesting, er, does the word 'hokage' means royalty? Are you a young prince perhaps?"
"Um, what's this word 'prince'?"
"It means royalty, it means people treat you especially well, and give you things,"
"I not bastard like stupid Sasuke!"
"I... see," busy scribbling paused, "er, well, what is your childhood like?"
Naruto squints at this, "Eh? I has school and is bad, so I skipped dattebayo! So I learn jutsu and make different jutsu from school and like you wanna see?"
Excited, but trying to hide, "Oh, if it isn't too much trouble..."
"Hahah! Witness my awesome jutsu. Sexy-"
And thus, a typical Naruto interview ended in bloodshed.
Of course, Naruto was truly honest about the things he said, people just assumed he lied. Only Rita managed to avoid the typical end of a Naruto Interview. So far. Her Naruto articles usually contain a lot of cooing nonsense about Naruto's supposed origin being bandied about, ranging from runaway prince from various countries to illegitimate love child of some famous witch and wizard. Oddly enough, Iruka was always featured as that 'faithful friend and servant' of the brave little unfortunate.
Nevertheless, now is not the time to dwell on such matters. So, Iruka made a mental note to himself to plan some kind of prank on the woman.
They proceeded to Moody's office without further interruption. Well, there was that pack of reporters and photographers that tried to catch a glimpse of the First Year Champion. Fortunately the orange Konoha contingent, lead by Draco Malfoy, was there to intercept the vultures at Iruka's signal. While it was unprofessional of Iruka to have favourites, he did show special attention to Naruto after all, it somehow always happened. He tried not to think about how both his favourites were loudmouth blondes with more guts than brains and how it spoke a lot about his own character.
Then again, for all his mouthy habits, Draco could be incredibly subtle whenever he wanted to be. Honestly, if it had been that famous Harry Potter, the boy would probably tried to charge towards the enemy in front of Iruka and making a nuisance of himself. For all the vaunted Boy-Who-Lived nonsense, Iruka saw very little of that Saviour in the Making innate ability. To Iruka, he was just another bratty little civilian pretending to be a shinobi.
Iruka could still remember their first encounter, sort of, well, maybe it had been clouded by Severus' mutterings at that time...
"See," a woman in colourful rags whispered, "that's him!"
Iruka blinked, who?
Seeing Iruka's puzzled look, she gestured wildly with her spoon, "the boy, the boy in the prophecy!"
"Uh huh," Iruka made a mental note to exchange seats with Severus the next time they dine on this raised platform. Fortunately he was only a chuunin and not a crazy ass paranoid jounin who would probably tried to beg off eating at the table or replace himself with a kage bunshin and living off ration bars and wild rabbits. Really, the raised platform gave off a rather loud message of 'Target here! Kill!' Funny why a lot of nobles prefer this sort of eating arrangements, perhaps Iruka shouldn't complain since the raised platform does help a shinobi when one has been given a job of identifying and assassinating the Big Boss. They, the Big Boss, usually sat themselves smack in the middle of a raised platform. In this case, the Big Boss would be Dumbledore. Iruka entertained various scenarios where a kunai could come from and pierce the meddling old man's vital parts.
"It's Harry! Harry Potter!"
"How nice," Iruka nodded distractedly. Perhaps the boy was her nephew? Was that why she was so excited? One could never tell. Oh, and those flickering shadows made by thousands of candles would make it easy even for a genin to ambush a target.
"Good gracious, the child is thin!" this time, the comment was made by McGonagal.
Being thin would be good too, Iruka sometimes thought of the Akimichi clan in despair when it comes to sneaking around. The amount of bulk to hide...
"And brown," mused the tiny old man, Flitwick. Iruka and Naruto had tutored under him for two weeks, a crash course in floating things and casting permanent henge on items. It had been a lot of fun. Iruka knew the rudiments of genjutsu of course, but he'd never thought about casting it on items before. The ability to exert one's will on stationary objects was pretty useful, thought Iruka a little begrudgingly. Almost as useful as potions that could regrow bones.
"I swear, if his guardians had been working him to the bone again..."
"Hardly," Severus' bored silky drawl interrupted, "the boy looks as if he'd been rolling about the soil, and a little hard work never hurts anybody,"
Privately, Iruka agreed.
"Severus," McGonagal obviously did not. The tension was strong in her voice.
"The Potter boy does look a little scrawny," the man with one brown eye, one red spinning eye and one leg commented, "hardly looks as if he could defeat a Grindylow, much less a Dark Lord,"
Iruka finally had had enough, he could distract himself with his own thoughts only as much! "Excuse me, but might I please know, who are you speaking about?"
For a moment, they all stare blankly at him. The big hairy man who lived in a little house close to the pond had his mouth opened, letting everyone view the half chewed potatoes inside. Eww.
Then Dumbledore began to chuckle.
"Ah, of course, I had forgotten," he nodded to the colourful rags lady and the fruity eyed old man, "Iruka-sensei have not yet the pleasure of hearing about Harry there,"
"Nevah heard!" the giant hairy man roared, "Nevah HEARD!"
To Iruka's credit, his smile never wavered. In the course of his ninja career, he had the dubious pleasure of meeting all kinds of people. Generally speaking, the bigger (and hairier) the opponent, the least likely it was for the said enemy to pose any problems, for shinobi that is. It's the slim, almost feminine looking ones to watch out for. Iruka himself was quite muscular and could pass as a hired thug (or a school teacher) if he wanted to thus usually rates as 'average' on the ninja danger scale. Kakashi's wispy hair and thin body packed more than enough chakra and power in one arm compared to Iruka's whole body. Life's like that.
By now, they have drawn the attention of the students, as well as other teachers who had been minding their own business. Finally, McGonagal took pity on him.
"It's that boy over there," she nodded at the table decorated in red and gold, "dark hair, green eyes, next to the red head, look, he's sitting down now,"
Iruka examine the boy with a critical eye. Well, he did looked a little thin and underfed. The green eyes were quite brilliant, despite being hidden behind those pokey looking glasses.
"It's the Boy Who Lived!"the woman in colourful rags hissed.
For a moment Iruka looked blankly at her., "I didn't realised you get that many deceased students here,"
On Iruka's other side, Severus Snape nearly choked on his potatoes.
Even as they approached the doors of Moody's office, Iruka made time to roll his eyes at the memory. Honestly, 'The Boy Who Lived'? Couldn't they give a more respectable moniker like 'The Survivor' or at least 'The Last Potter'?
Iruka was still contemplating the mysteries of Harry Potter's silly title when Dumbledore readied his wand. Iruka snagged Naruto's collar to prevent him from charging in first. The one good thing about having Harry Potter in his class, in Iruka's humble opinion, was the opportunity to demonstrate in various ways how not to attack. Of course, sometimes charging in headlong may be the best option available, when you are outnumbered and have the advantage of surprise, or when you have nothing to lose. However, more often than not, frontal attacks were voided by the fact that the enemy already knew about it and were able to plan for it. Also, it helps Iruka to highlight the kind of thinking he wanted Naruto not to have when it comes to tactics. That Draco Malfoy has a naturally sneaky mindset made for a tactics haven. The fact that both blondes got along famously helps out a lot as well.
Iruka had a suspicion that the reason why Draco tried to get in good with Naruto was that, along with some of the more deluded members of the magical public, he believed that Naruto was of royal descent. Something that Iruka neither confirm nor deny when questioned. Only giving a nervous, blushing look in reply which further fuelled the rumour mills spectacularly.
Keeping to the back of the group, Iruka readied a sharpened sugar quill. The relatively tall headmaster made for a very nice meat shield against unknown magical attacks. While these people were civilians to Iruka, they were magical and potentially insane civilians, including those so called Death Beaters that Harry Potter liked to mutter about from time to time. Honestly, what's with evil megalomaniacs and the concept of immortality?
Both the headmaster and Severus cast their magic stick simultaneously, causing the door to blast in. Severus charged in a beat behind the headmaster. When there were no screams or flashing of exotic lights, Iruka and McGonagal poked their head in. The previous occupant was in the process of being levitated to a chair and bound by Dumbledore and Snape. Harry struggled minutely from the floor where the chair had tipped over from the blast. Deeming it safe enough, Iruka stepped in to study the infamous Foe Glass, leaving McGonagal to cluck over the boy. There're just so many interesting stuff in here! Iruka considered the size of the room and the location of the glass, and deduced that the only way to miss a warning from the glass is to have one's back against the damn thing. Which was probably what had happened to Mad Eye Moody. The man should have placed an ordinary mirror at an angle to catch whatever image shown in the original Foe Glass so that even if he's stupid enough to have his back against the glass, he would have had another mirror for warning.
So much for the much lauded 'Constant Vigilance'.
"Well, he certainly doesn't practice what he preaches," Iruka muttered to himself.
At this point, he released his grip on Naruto's collar. Allowing the blonde to aid McGonagal in the liberation of one Harry Potter.
"I just don't understand," wailed McGonagal, or as close to wailing as she would allow herself, "Alastor had always been against the Dark Arts, what could he possibly have anything to do with You-Know-Who?"
Honestly, thought Iruka with a discreet roll of his eyes, if he had to hear another You-Know-What about You-Know-Who, who was currently doing God-Knows-What in Merlin-Knows-Where...
Well, Iruka's going to shove a You-Know-What up into You-Know-Where of the eternal moron who coined that silly moniker. Honestly, first 'Boy Who Lived' then 'You-Know-Who'. It's a wonder how anything is learned here. Perhaps he should increase the pace of his research on the seal to get out of this place. The last thing he wanted is for Naruto to be influenced by all these nonsense.
Thankfully, there were still some rather interesting things to see and study in this kami forsaken place. Iruka watched with avid interest as the man strapped to the chair changed his appearance, the red eye popped out, a leg grew out of the stump. Mad Eye Moody became thinner and hair grew out of his scalp. There were gasps all around, hmm, no wonder this particular character was so interested in the Henge technique. Luckily, most of them were so inept at chakra control and so foreign to the idea of using their powers without the aid of a magic stick that it just wasn't feasible to teach them. Although there were a notable few, Hermione Granger and Fleur Delacour being one of the ones closest to being able to accomplish some of the E rank techniques.
And Professor Snape.
Thanks to Severus' fondness for dramatics, his habit of slamming doors and windows wandlessly to make students jump for example, had allowed him to practice using his energy outside of his own body without the extension of the magic stick. Iruka's lecture on the Rope Shedding technique had struck his interest despite Naruto's showy little performance that had scarred the potions master for life. Severus had demanded the knowledge of said technique as repayment for the resultant mental scarring.
So Iruka had revealed the rope shedding technique to Severus, a little E rank technique that any ninja worth their salt should be able to counter. The thought made him sleep well at night and allowed him to leech off all kinds of useful magical secrets from the potions master. Speaking of which, Iruka watched with interest as Severus unstoppered a small bottle of some clear liquid. A type of truth serum? Iruka wondered, noting the three drops that landed on the victim's tongue. Now this was something worth looking into.
The interrogation went swiftly without problems. The victim, a certain Barty Crouch Junior seemed almost smug telling all he had done. Iruka watched with mild interest as the prisoner proudly spilled his guts about how he'd escaped the dreaded prison, Mascarpone, killing his dad and masquerading as 'Mad Eye' Alastor 'Constant Vigilance' Moody without anyone the wiser. Not even the fabled ninja Iruka saw through his disguised, Barty Crouch gloated gleefully.
It was the last part that annoyed Iruka the most. He was suppose to be an awesome ninja, damn it! Not one of the idiot masses. The idiot magical masses in this case. Iruka was thoroughly disgusted with himself. Oh, now this was unbearable, outsmarted by a raving lunatic of all things. Iruka could just imagine the snide remarks from those jounin on duty as well as the sniggering from a couple of random chuunin. While Iruka entertained various kinds of pranks on various imagined slight, the interrogation slowly wind itself up. There were some arguments on whether the minister himself should be told, but Iruka wasn't really listening. His opinion of the leader of this soft headed community had best be concealed from the general public.
The trip into the trunk was quite enlightening as well, Iruka wondered where he could get one like it. Perhaps he would ask Severus about it afterwards. Once the prisoner's confessions had reduced to incoherent babbling of his Lord's Grandness, Dumbledore declared the interrogation to be officially over. Gravely, the old headmaster stood tall as he looked over the occupants of the trunk room, "So," he murmured, "it is starting,"
He then gestured for the group to adjourn to the Hospital Wing. The poor real Alastor Moody will need treatment after all. Iruka supposed it made sense. However, the decision to keep the prisoner in this poorly guarded teacher's room made the scar on Iruka's nose tingle, and that is never a good thing. His suggestion to keep a guard here was waved off with a hard twinkle. There was to be an emergency meeting at once, and it had to be done at the Hospital wing because of Moody's conditions. This school just had a major event with lots of security that came with the important people that had arrived to witness said event. And the prisoner's tied up and incoherent, no need for concern Iruka-sensei. Twinkle. Twinkle.
It took all of Iruka's self control not to curl his lip into a sneer. The Headmaster, satisfied with his non answer lead the group. It was Harry that finally noticed that Iruka had hung back, the boy ran over to his OM sensei and patted his hand.
"It'll be alright, Iruka-sensei," the boy sounded more cheerful that Iruka had ever heard him, "Dumbledore knows what to do," that patronizing remark done, Harry scampered to catch up with the group.
Iruka could not stand it anymore.
"NARUTO-KUN!"
The boy halted mid marched, instinctively flinched and hurried back.
"Erm, sensei?"
"Stay here, guard the door. Make sure the prisoner is not compromised," Iruka ordered. Better be paranoid and live, than reckless and die.
"Nyeh? Why me?" Naruto whined.
"Because," Iruka said slowly, "You're the only one I can count on to be sensible,"
That caught Naruto's ego and attention, "Yosh! Sensei, the prisoner shall not be compro, er composed on my watch!"
"Excellent,"