Disclaimer: This fanfic is rated 'M' for language and sexual content. I do not own any of the characters of The Hunger Games.

Chapter 11: Confessions

After finally agreeing to let me pay for dinner, Peeta takes my hand again as we leave the restaurant and walk back to my car. I drop his hand and start to fish around in my purse for my keys before letting out a frustrated sigh. I'm not sure when my purse turned into Mary Poppin's bottomless bag, but this is just ridiculous. Metal note, I really need to get a lanyard or something for these keys, that or a smaller purse.

"So, I had a really nice time tonight," Peeta says shyly while my face is still buried in my purse.

"Uh huh…" I mumble, not really paying attention to what he's saying.

"The sun is only starting to set, so it can't be later than seven I think…"

"Yup…" I mumble again. I'm considering dumping the contents of my purse all over the sidewalk at this point.

"Katniss?"

"Yeah…"

"Katniss!"

"Huh? What?" I say, finally making eye contact with Peeta who's running his hand through his messy hair.

"Do you really want to go home already?" he asks.

"Uh, no…not really," I stammer, "I just thought maybe you were ready to get going already."

Peeta laughs and shakes his head at me. Did I say something funny?

"No, my evening is wide open Katniss," he says with a smirk. "So, since I have nothing else to do and you have nothing else to do, what would you like to do?"

Great, leave it to me to make all the decisions. I take a quick glance around the complex. Since I've only been here once since it opened, I haven't the slightest idea of what else is in here. It's mostly just restaurants and a few retail stores, but I notice a green patch with trees in the middle of the large parking lot, it must be a park or something.

"How about over there?" I ask, biting my lower lip and pointing to the park.

"Sure, it's too nice out to be inside, let's go then," he grins. I nod in response as he links his fingers through mine again and leads the way.

When we get closer to the park, I see that there's a small swing set and my eyes light up as I drop Peeta's hand almost sprint to one of swings. I can hear Peeta chuckling behind me and when he reaches me he takes the rungs of the swing I'm next to. He raises his eyebrows suggestively, silently asking me to take a seat. I put my purse down in the sand and check the swing seat first to makes sure I don't ruin my sweater with gum or bird crap. That's the last thing I need right now. The coast is clear so I plop down onto the seat and grab the rungs as Peeta gives me a gentle push forward. I can't hold back the giggle that escapes my mouth.

For a second I think I'm acting a little too excited to be on a swing at my age, but whatever, I haven't been on one in a long time and its fun! It reminds me of when I was little and we used to have "swing-offs" at the playground at school. Two people would start swinging as high as they could and then jump off at the right moment and see who could jump the furthest. I think I was the only girl who actually played until I sprained my ankle one time when I landed the wrong way in the sand. Finnick never let me live it down after that since I was the only one who could ever beat him.

"So, first crush?" Peeta questions, bringing me back to the present.

Ugh, are we still playing this game? I roll my eyes but realize after that he can't see me so the effect is lost. Fine, I'll play. "Um…I don't know…are we talking real life or celebrity?"

"Both."

"OK then, but you can't laugh," I say, turning my head back so he can hear me better. "My first celebrity crush was the kid who played human Casper in the movie, you know, the one with Christina Ricci and Bill Pullman?"

"That guy?" Peeta laughs while giving me another gentle push. "Sorry, I wasn't supposed to laugh, was I," he says, but I can still hear him chuckling behind me. "So, you have a thing for blondes then, huh?" he teases, which makes me blush as a shy smile creeps across my face.

"Yeah, I guess…as for my real life first crush…that's a secret. You'll have to earn that one," I tease back. It seems like he's the one who's been asking most of the questions so far, so I think it's my turn. "So, how about you? First crush?"

He grabs hold of the swing and brings me to a stop. I don't turn around because I'm still startled by the sudden stop, but I can feel his chest push up against my back, his lips almost touching my right earlobe.

"I've had a crush on you since the first moment I laid eyes on you," he whispers. I try to turn my head around to face him but he leans in further to wrap his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "Bet you had no idea, did you."

I shake my head. Uh, that's a big nope. The way his arms are wrapped around my waist and the feel of his chest against my back…it's doing things to me. Things that shouldn't be happening in a park out in public. I try to get my libido in check and focus on his words. Hmmm…when would he first have laid eyes on me? When did I meet Peeta anyway? We've all pretty much been in the same class since kindergarten, so yeah, that would probably be the first time any of us met. Oh God. That means he's liked me since kindergarten? Whoa. No way.

Peeta laughs to himself and as he exhales it tickles my ear. "It was the first day of kindergarten, during recess. I remember seeing you across the playground playing in the sand with Delly and Annie. Your hair was shorter then but you still were able to wear it in two braids. You were wearing a little red dress."

I cringe at the memory of that little red dress. My mother made me wear it because not only was it my first day of school but it was also picture day. It was a hideous red and white checkered dress that was a hand me down from who knows where. She even made me wear bright red shoes to match…I hated that dress.

"I actually don't remember much from kindergarten…kind of a long time ago you know," I joke. "How do you even remember stuff like that?"

"I remember everything about you," he says, placing a soft kiss behind my ear. "Maybe you would too if you had paid better attention."

I turn my head to face him and frown. "Maybe I was too busy paying attention to the teacher in class instead of the opposite sex."

He just shrugs before continuing, "Anyway, I came home from school that day and told my Dad that I was going to marry you some day. I always admired you from afar over the years but I kept an eye out for you everywhere I went."

I laugh at the thought of a young Peeta hiding behind the playground equipment trying to spy on me.

As if he knows what I'm thinking he laughs, "I know, stalk much?"

His breath tickles my ear again as he laughs and yet again I try to focus on his words instead of the tingling feeling that's starting to take over my body. It both tickles and torments me all at the same time. Wait. Did he just say he wanted to marry me when he was five years old?

I turn my head slightly to catch a glimpse at his face out of the corner of my eye. I see that sexy half grin stretched across his face, he's either nervous or really excited right now. I don't say anything though. What do you really say to that? I just continue to stare out in front of me, drawing circles in the sand with my boot.

"You were so intimidating," he continues, "the way you carried yourself with your quiet composure. You rarely smiled unless you were with Annie or Prim. As we got older I just got more frustrated with myself because I wanted to talk to you so badly, but you were always surrounded by other guys who were falling over themselves to get your attention. I mean, how could I have stood a chance? Finnick was Mr. Greek God, Cato was the size of a professional quarterback by like seventh grade, and Marvel was the next Adam Sandler? Why would you even know I existed?"

Seriously? Did he just say I was intimidating? And quiet composure? Really? Who uses words like that? And Cato? Yeah, we don't even need to go there.

I was the shyest kid in my class, I only spoke to my handful of friends, and I definitely don't remember guys falling over themselves for me. I will admit, I always found guys more fun to hang out with but that's because I was a tom boy. Fashion, makeup, and gossip just weren't my thing. I still remember when I was little, I asked my father who was a volunteer Boy Scout Master at the time if I could join the Boy Scouts because the things they learned were way cooler and way more fun than what the girls did. Camping, wood working, nature hikes, baseball…that was my kind of thing…not earning badges for sewing, cleaning, and cooking.

The sound of him clearing his throat snaps me out of my thoughts and I try to turn to look over at him again. He lifts his head off my shoulder and looks down at me as if he's waiting for me to answer his question.

"What?" I reply innocently. "I don't remember guys paying attention to me like that. Are you sure you're talking about me and not someone else? If any guy paid any attention to me, it's because I was good at sports, guys just wanted me on their team."

Didn't they? I wasn't anything special. The fact that I was faster and more athletically inclined than ninety-five percent of the boys in my class made me think they hated me, actually. What boy wanted to accept that a skinny little girl like me could beat him at almost any sport?

"You never saw it, did you?" His mouth turns to a semi frown as he shakes his head. "The effect you had on people," he says before placing a soft kiss on my temple, taking me by surprise. "The effect you still have on people." His leans in a bit closer this time and places another soft kiss on my neck. I shudder and try to keep myself together.

My mind and my body are having an internal struggle for my attention right now. The effect I have on people? My God, the effect this guy has on my body just from a kiss on my neck is absolutely ridiculous.

He pulls away slightly, causing me to groan in frustration.

"You were nothing like the other girls at school," he says softly as he takes a step back, pulling me with him before releasing me and the swing again. "I made it my personal mission to figure you out and understand what was going on in that pretty head of yours," he declares.

I turn my gaze to the night sky and notice that the stars are starting to come out. A cool breeze whips through my hair and it's a refreshing relief to my flushed face. All this talk about me and the effect I had on people, especially him, is starting to weird me out. I don't think I'll ever get comfortable talking about guys and relationships or feelings.

"Every time I built up the nerve to talk to you or try to be your friend," he continues, "something always got in the way. Like in third grade for instance, the day before Valentine's Day. I took my allowance that I had been saving up for over three months, from washing my Dad's car and cleaning up at the bakery, and bought a dozen red roses. I spent all night trying to decide how to confess my feelings to the girl of my dreams, in few enough words to fit on the small card that came with the flowers that is," he laughs, halting my swinging again.

He walks around to stand in front of me and looks down at me. He's silent as he stares deeply into my eyes. The usual brightness of his eyes seems to have disappeared and they now look full of sadness or disappointment, I'm unsure though. I part my lips to speak because I know where this is going, but he takes my chin in his palm and ghosts his thumb across my lips, silencing me.

"The next morning I came to school early and placed the bouquet of roses on your desk. I couldn't wait to see you at recess, to see you smile at me and finally notice me." He looks down to the ground and puts his hands in his pockets before looking back up at me through his eyelashes. "But you never showed up. At first I thought maybe you didn't get the card or that there was some sort of mix up, but then I realized something. Maybe there was someone else, and I had just made the biggest fool of myself. I thought, of course, why would she like someone like me? And that's when my heart broke for the first time."

Oh shit. I'm such a bitch, even back in third grade I was a bitch. I had no idea that he even remembered that, but of course he would if I was his first crush. I can't believe I broke his heart. And for the first time? How many times has this guy had his heart broken? I hope to God I'm not responsible for doing it more than once. Oh wait, maybe I did. Shit. I tighten my lips into a thin frown and internally scold myself while replaying the memory in my head over again.

We were in separate classes back then. I was in Ms. Trinket's class and he was in Mr. Flickerman's class across the hall. I came in early that morning to drop off the box of valentines that Prim and I had made the night before. My mother had insisted that I make one for everyone in the class, even ones for Glimmer and Clove who had spent most of the year teasing me for being a tom boy.

I remember the absolute horror that filled my face when I spotted the huge bouquet of roses sitting on my desk. I quickly snatched up the little card taped to the clear plastic wrap and read the words written in crooked loopy hand writing:

"To Katniss, Please be my valentine. I have always loved you and always will. Please meet me by the oak tree at recess. - Peeta"

I was completely mortified and quickly looked around the classroom to make sure that no one else was around. I had to reread the card at least three times to make sure I was reading it correctly and that I wasn't imagining the whole ordeal. There was only one Peeta in our school, so I knew exactly who they were from. That's when Finnick walked in and before I could gasp a breath, he snatched the card right out of my hands and began reading it aloud. A scowl immediately formed on my face as he raised his eyebrows at me with a giant smirk.

"If you say a single word to anyone about this Finnick Odair, I will tell everyone that you have a secret crush on Annie!" I threatened. The smirk on his face fell in a heartbeat and then he looked back at me confused.

"How did you know?" he questioned suspiciously. "Who told you? I mean, what are you talking about?" He tried to regain his smooth composure but faltered a bit as he stammered, "You don't know what you're talking about, and I don't even like Annie."

"Really?" I snapped as I placed my hands on my hips with as much sass possible. "You're such an idiot Finnick, Annie is one of my best friends. You've wanted to kiss Annie on the lips ever since kindergarten! You'd have to be blind not to see the goo-goo eyes you get every time you see her. So you better help me do something about this before someone else comes in and sees!"

Panic was starting to settle in as I racked my brain on how to fix this. If anyone else was to see the flowers I would die of embarrassment. I wouldn't be able to handle the constant teasing and…Peeta. How would I be able to face Peeta?

Suddenly an idea came to me. I quickly grab a piece of paper from my desk and a pen. I told Finnick to copy out the exact wording on the card but told him to address it to the first name I saw on the desk across from mine…Delly Cartwright.

Perfect, I thought. She'll definitely appreciate the roses more than me, heck, she'll love them! Yes, Delly was way more girly than me and a much better for Peeta to like than me. Her blonde hair and blue eyes almost matched his exactly. Although, his eyes were bluer and brighter, like nothing I'd ever seen before. I mean, not that I had really looked at him that way before.

I rushed to Ms. Trinket's desk and grabbed the tape dispenser before turning to Finnick, "Quickly! Tape it to the flowers and move them over to Delly's desk!"

Not even a minute later we heard footsteps in the hallway. I grabbed my box of valentines and continued to pass them out as Finnick tried to look busy by feeding the fish in the classroom fish tank.

Ms. Trinket walked through the door with non other than Delly, of course, and Annie. From the corner of my eye, I saw Finnick's eyes light up when he saw Annie, but then he quickly looked down and over to me, as if to see if he'd been caught.

"It's going to be a big, big, big day today girls!" Ms. Trinket chirped happily. "It's Valentine's Day, so you know what that means, love is in the air! OH!" she gasped at the sight of the roses. "It looks like someone has a secret admirer!"

Delly quickly ran over to her desk and read the note out loud for both Annie and Ms. Trinket to hear. Her eyes almost bulged out of her head when she read whose name was signed at the bottom. Before I knew it, she was jumping up and down and squealing so load I had to cover my ears. I thought to myself, yes, that was definitely a good decision, look how happy she is. I mumbled a quick "excuse us" under my breath and quickly ran out of the room pulling Finnick with me by the arm.

Later at recess, I didn't meet Peeta by the oak tree. I watched from the classroom window as Delly primped herself before sauntering over to Peeta who was nervously waiting by the big oak tree. I saw his face scrunch up in annoyance and confusion as Delly approached him. A few moments later, I saw Delly throw her arms up in the air and it looked like she was yelling. Then she turned on her heel, and ran back inside the building with a look of pain and embarrassment written all over her face.

I was such a coward. I hid in the girls bathroom for the rest of recess, locked away in one of the stalls. Annie came in at one point and asked if I was feeling alright and if she needed to go get Ms. Trinket. I lied and told her I felt a little sick but that I'd be fine. Before she left though, she said I missed a huge scene outside between Peeta Mellark and Delly Cartwright, something about the roses and Peeta saying they weren't meant for her.

I released a loud huff and felt a headache coming on. Truth was, I was furious. Furious with Peeta Mellark. Furious that of all people, he had to be the one to have the nerve to try and embarrass me in front of everyone. What had I done to him? Was it some kind of a joke? I made my third grade self a promise that from that day forward I would never look or speak to Peeta Mellark…ever.

I let out a nervous laugh knowing full well that I need to confess the truth from that day. I take a deep breath to gather my nerves. "Yeah, about that…um, I'm kinda to blame for what happened with Delly that day."

He quickly lifts his head to look up at me straight on, confusion written all over his face. "What?" He's staring at me carefully, waiting for me to go on.

I take a deep breath again and proceed, "I got the card…and the roses. I knew they were for me but I was so scared and embarrassed by the gesture that I didn't know what to do. Finnick helped me address the card to Delly instead."

Peeta is still staring at me in disbelief. I don't know if he's going to get up and leave or yell at me or what. I apparently broke this guy's heart at the tender age of, like what, eight? I start to fidget with my hands in my lap, not knowing what else to do. I wish he'd just say something already. Anything. Say something!

He laughs. What? Um, not the reaction I was expecting.

"Finnick…that little fucker," he says as he shakes his head. "I knew he liked you back then!"

"Wait, what?" I shout. "You thought he helped me because he liked me? No…no way…Finnick has always liked Annie. He only helped me because I pretty much blackmailed him into it. He's never liked me, oh God, ugh! He's like a brother to me!"

"Well, at least that explains why Delly ran away steaming mad and almost in tears. I told her I was waiting for someone and politely asked her to leave."

He's still laughing to himself until he looks back at me. His face softens when our eyes meet and his eyes turn serious.

"I never meant to embarrass you, Katniss," he confesses. "Maybe my choice of words was a little too over whelming for a third grader, but honestly, how did you not know that I had a serious crush on you all through school? Hell, I had to kick myself every time I caught myself staring at you because I didn't want you to think I was some creepy guy."

The intensity of his stare is starting to overwhelm me, so I turn my head and look up at the sky again. There are no clouds out tonight and there's almost a full moon. I can't help but notice how the moonlight illuminates his blonde hair and I also can't help but be drawn back to his blue eyes again. He looks angelic.

How could anyone ever think him to be creepy? I'm pretty sure everyone liked Peeta. I search my mind for any memories I might have of him. I frown when I realize that I actually have no other memories of him from elementary school, besides the whole rose incident.

Most of the memories I have of Peeta are from middle school. That's when…well, when I started to really notice guys. When I started to really take note of his physique in particular. Any breathing female within a hundred mile radius would have had to be blind to not have noticed him, especially in gym class. His arms filled out his typical band t-shirts quite nicely and he was surprising light on his feet despite his muscular build.

Why would I remember that is such detail? Huh, maybe I was paying more attention to him than I thought. It's not like I had a crush on him or anything back then, I just noticed him I guess. Johanna was always pointing him out and saying how she'd like to 'hook up with that shit' and that she'd happily trade places with whatever girl he was currently 'banging'. I would always roll my eyes at her and try to change the subject to something more interesting than Peeta Mellark.

I finally decide to break my silence. "I'm pretty sure no one thought you were creepy, Peeta. If I remember correctly, every girl in high school was in love with you. You were the golden boy."

"Well, not every girl." He casts his gaze to the ground again and has a slightly wounded look on his face. I notice he's clenching his jaw again.

Why does he always have a way of making me feel guilty? Well, maybe I should be feeling guilty for this one. At least I came clean about it. I still can't understand why a guy like him would have wanted to give a girl like me the time of day back then. Even after this confession of his childhood love for me, I still can't bring myself to let the words sink in. But I also can't stand the look of the wounded Peeta standing in front of me, especially because I'm the one responsible. Well, my past self that is. My present self is now dying to get my hands on him.

I pull myself off the swing and take a step forward so we're almost nose to nose. Our eyes meet and I watch him as he sucks in his lips to form a thin line. I thread my hands through his arms in search of his back pockets. Once I've found them, I dig my hands into them and pull his hips to mine. I can feel the start of something going on down there and try to hide the smile that wants to take over my face. He looks so amazing and I still can't believe that he's here, with me, standing nose to nose. I lightly rub my nose against his, Eskimo style. I see a sexy smile finally flash across his face before I open my mouth to speak.

"Well, I'm here now."

Author's Note: So, this was the chapter that started it all…and I'm not just talking about Peeta's feelings for Katniss, but this was actually the first chapter of this story that I wrote. What happened in third grade between Katniss and Peeta actually happened to me…ahhhh…I know, I'm terrible! But I actually ended up dating the guy later on in high school and it lasted over four years but no, I did not end up marrying him. Anyway, enough about me, how'd you like this chapter? A little fluffy, I know, but don't worry, that "M" rating is going to come into effect again soon…I promise!

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