Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

I'm so sorry for the delay! School kept me busy all week. I had two exams this week and I had to study a little bit. And I lost my work again… Stupid computer.

Anyways, here's the much awaited chapter 11!

Remember: Naminé/Roxas/Flashback

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 11: Present or Past

I'm so out of here…

I went down on the other side of the roof and ran home, never looking back.

I pushed Ross away, breaking the kiss, completely confused.

"Wh-what are you doing…?" I asked Ross that was blushing. From embarrassment or cold, I didn't know, but I could guess.

"I'm sorry…" was all he said, as he looked down, facing his shoes.

An uncomfortable silence fell over us, my mind running fast. I was so confused but… I had to… to say it…

"I'm sorry too…"

Ross looked up to me, a sad look on his eyes. He didn't say anything for some time, maybe thinking, probably not knowing what to say.

"What… what's that supposed to mean?"

I was the one to look down in embarrassment now.

"I don't want to be your girlfriend… I only want to be your friend…"

He completely froze up… Seconds went by… But suddenly he leaned forward again. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he grabbed my pendant and sighed.

"It's him, isn't it?"

But I just ran back to the party, leaving a crying Ross behind me.

------------

When I entered the party again, Olette noticed I was very red and crying, I sat on a chair and she came towards me.

"What happened?"

I couldn't speak. I felt so sad… Ross' friendship is very special to me and I surely don't want to lose it. But after this…

Olette shed one tear of the river that was flowing down my cheeks and hugged me. And I told her everything… Everything that has been bothering me these past months. She listened to me very carefully. And I talked and talked, until I ran out of breath and couldn't speak anymore. When I finished it all, Olette hugged me once more. Since nothing can be said, at least she knows how to comfort me…

--------

Why do I feel like this? I was the one who said that I wouldn't blame her if she had moved on. That I would totally understand. But when I saw that guy kissing her, I forgot all those statements. I know I wouldn't stand seeing Nami, my only love, with another person.

I felt so jealous, so bad… So empty…

But… Should I give her some space? Should I… let her go...?

Drawing relaxes me. So since I came home yesterday that's the only thing I do. I really do need to relax.

I had told Kai too… Just like Olette, she didn't know what to say. This is such a complicated situation… Ross is cute and a lovely person, but…

"But you don't like him. You still love Roxas."

I sighed. True.

My love for Roxas only causes me pain and trouble. I wish I could do something about it. I wish I could forget him.

"But you can't…"

True again. Roxas was, and still is, my first true love. He was my first boyfriend, I shared my first kiss with him, and most of all, he was my first and best friend. A little too hard to forget, isn't it?

After that conclusion, I had to smile.

Roxas. Such trouble, such pain, but you're still the most important person in my life…

----------

I spent all morning thinking about Nami. If I should let her go… I should want her happiness, right? And if she's happy with somebody else, I should respect that, right? Right…?

But I know that she can't be as happy with that guy as she can be with me. I love her. And that's enough.

But what if she doesn't love me anymore? What if now she loves that other guy?

But they weren't dating before yesterday, because he only asked her out yesterday. But maybe she accepted… I should have stayed longer. But I know I wouldn't stand looking at them. Just remembering that moment makes me sick.

But I'm not letting her go without fighting…

I was drawing Kai now. I put her photo next to me, as a guide. I started sketching and relaxing all along. Smooth traces started to cover the white paper, a strange shape being drawn. Soon it became a face; Kai's face. As I reached for my color pencils, I heard a voice.

"Naminé?"

Ross' voice. I turned around to face him. His face and eyes were red. It looked like he had cried all night.

"Hey Ross."

Silence. A very uncomfortable one. He looked so embarrassed, like he was looking for the words to say. He opened his mouth from time to time, like he needed to say something, but wasn't brave enough to. I didn't know what to say either, so I just stood there, looking at my shoes.

"Naminé… I" Ross sat in front of me and gazed my eyes. I did the same. "Can we just…" he sighed. "Can we just forget about yesterday?"

I must have looked very surprised, because he chuckled and added. "Naminé, it even looks like you don't know me. I'm not mad at you…"

"Really?" I asked. I couldn't believe his words, but they were making me feel so relieved.

"Of course. You're my best friend Naminé… I don't ever want to lose your friendship…" he paused and added one more thing. "But I want you to know that my feelings for you haven't changed. If you… ever forget about Roxas I'll… I'll be waiting for you…" he blushed when he said that and I must have too. Silence again.

"But I…" it was my turn to pause. "I don't think I'll forget him so soon…"

When I saw Ross' brown eyes become darker with sadness, I regretted my words.

"But let's talk about something else shall we?" I offered.

He nodded and asked "So, what were you doing when I arrived?"

I pointed towards my unfinished drawing. His eyes widened when he saw it.

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I didn't know you could draw so well! That looks beautiful!"

He smiled. I smiled too. Maybe things will go back to what they used to be.

"Can you do one of me?" he requested, looking at me.

"Sure! Stay still!"

------------

I kept drawing and chatting with Ross all afternoon. When I looked at the clock, I was surprised.

"9 o'clock?! Wow, time flies when you're having fun…"

Ross smiled and got up, stretching his arms.

"Well, I should be heading home now. Don't forget to finish the drawing! See you tomorrow."

He waved me goodbye and went outside.

I stood there alone. Kai is probably at Sora's house and my parents aren't home.

I looked at the drawing. Wow, this one will turn out great once I color it. Ross' face was accurately drawn; I took care of every single detail. And then I noticed something. Without any color, just the paper's white and my pencil's grey, everyone would say I drew Roxas. Their resemblance is incredible…

I grabbed my color pencils and started coloring it. I wasn't thinking, totally focused on the drawing and nothing else.

-----------------

It was finally almost completed. I just needed to color his eyes and hair. Unconsciously, my hand reached to the blue pencil. I gazed it, not sure what to do. I looked at the brown one.

I had to choose. Brown or blue. Ross or Roxas. Present or past.

I sighed, with my choice already in mind.

----------------

I smiled at it. This is my best drawing until this day. I'm very proud of it. I left my room to go eat something, leaving it on my desk, along with all my desorderly pencils.

Anyone that entered my room at that moment would see a portrait of a handsome boy, with big eyes and spiky hair.

A blonde boy, with big cerulean eyes. That had a little shade of green…

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Here you have it. Thank me because I spared your precious Nami from Ross!

Next update will be quicker, I promise! Review!