Author's Note: I don't own it!
Kate drummed her fingers absentmindedly on the armrest. She was not looking forward to this one bit, but it was required, and even if it weren't required she knew Patti would have insisted on it.
"Here we are." Jethro said as he stared at a wrought-iron gate with an address inscribed in the scroll-work.
"You're kidding." Kate said as she stared in awe at the pretentiousness of the home.
The gate was open, and Jethro momentarily slowed down and made his way up the winding driveway.
"Have you ever seen anything like it?" Kate asked in awe as they approached the brick and stucco mansion.
"Only in the movies." Jethro said as he shut the ignition off and followed Kate to the front door.
"Mr. And Mrs. Gibbs...please come in." An older man dressed in a butler's suit said as he opened the door.
Kate was a bit surprised...they hadn't even had the chance to knock.
"This must be a movie set." Kate said through gritted teeth as she and Jethro stared at a fountain that sat in the front hall.
"It's real life. I just pinched myself." Jethro teased.
"Ah...thank-you Hector. You must be the Gibbs family." A woman said as she entered the front hall.
Kate was stunned. The woman was tall, with sandy-blond hair that was neatly styled into a chignon and on a random Saturday afternoon she was wearing an emerald-color suit and matching heels. Kate now felt incredibly inadequate in her sun dress, cardigan sweater and sandals.
"I am Vivien Johnson." The woman said politely as she extended a hand which Jethro and Kate shook.
"Kate and Jethro." Gibbs announced.
"My husband is in the lounge...please follow me." Vivien directed as Kate and Jethro followed the woman down a long hallway.
Kate and Jethro both peered into various rooms as they headed towards their destination. From what Kate could see the entire house was just as opulent as the front hall.
"Darling...please meet Kate and Jethro Gibbs." Vivien announced as they made their way into a large lounge that was decorated with mahogany floors, large leather furniture, recessed book shelves that were built into the walls, and a bar at the far corner of the room.
"So nice to meet you. I'm Beckett Johnson." A sandy-haired blond man said as he made his way out from behind the bar and shook Kate and Jethro's hands.
Beckett Johnson was dressed in a dark grey suit, and had on a green tie that matched Vivien's suit perfectly.
"So what rank are you?" Beckett asked as he looked at Jethro.
"Pardon?" Jethro asked with a smirk.
"You're a Marine. I can tell from a mile away." Beckett explained.
"Oh. I was a Gunnery Sargent. Then I went to work for NCIS. That's what Kate and I do." Jethro explained.
"You're an agent?" Vivien asked wide-eyed as she looked at Kate.
"I am." Kate said with a small smile.
"That's really amazing!" Vivien said as she looked at Kate.
"I really enjoy my work." Kate said as she glanced up at Jethro.
"I only wish I were that courageous!" Vivien said with a small smile.
"You are courageous." Beckett said as he reached out for Vivien's hand.
"Oh stop!" Vivien swooned as she looked at her husband.
Kate and Jethro glanced at one another warily.
"Would anybody care for a drink?" Beckett asked as he headed towards the bar.
"Double shot of bourbon." Jethro said quickly. He was going to need some liquid courage to get through the day.
"Kate would you care for some wine? I picked up a bottle of strawberry wine on our last trip to Napa." Vivien offered.
"That would be lovely." Kate replied politely as they all made their way towards the bar.
"I think it's funny that we've all worked together for so long, and had no clue." Beckett said as Kate, Jethro, and Vivien all sat on bar stools while Beckett fixed drinks for everybody.
"Work together?" Jethro asked airily.
"Yes. You wear bullet proof vests don't you?" Beckett said as he handed Jethro a drink.
"Sure do." Jethro replied as he sipped his drink.
"Well, chances are you've worn one of mine." Beckett replied.
"Are you the Johnson behind Johnson safety supply?" Kate asked in awe. She had toured their factory shortly after joining the Secret Service.
"Sure am. The business has been kind to me." Beckett said.
"It sure has. You outfit the entire government and the military." Kate said as she sipped her wine slowly. It was good but very sweet.
Jethro almost spilled his bourbon. Johnson safety made and outfitted most Federal law enforcement agencies with everything they needed from helmets, to vests, to shoes and everything in between. The only thing they didn't manufacture were weapons.
"Why don't you make weapons?" Jethro asked out of the blue.
"There's got to be big money in it." Jethro added quickly.
"There sure is, but with security and regulations getting more and more strict the initial start-up is prohibitively expensive. I guess I've never branched out. Besides there's already a lot of good gun-makers out there. I can't complain, life has been good to me...one man can only ask for so much." Beckett said as he sipped his bourbon.
"How are the children?" Vivien asked quietly as she sipped her wine.
"They are well." Kate said curtly.
"You really don't like me do you?" Vivien said as she stared at Kate, insulted by her harsh tone.
"Not particularly." Kate said as she stared at her glass.
"Kate!" Jethro scolded.
"I'm not going to lie to her." Kate said haughtily.
"You better lie...at least long enough for me to finish this bourbon. It's damn good...what year is this?" Jethro asked as he turned to Beckett.
"It was made when God was a boy." Beckett said with a laugh.
"My favorite." Jethro said as he sipped his bourbon.
"You think we're trying to steal them don't you. That we're some horribly snobby rich people that just want to sink our claws into the children you've cared for. That must be what it looks like to you." Vivien said in a low voice as she stared at Kate.
Kate was now only slightly ashamed of herself. She didn't know Vivien but had admitted to disliking her. Her mother would have been horrified by her snap judgement.
"Jethro...I've got a workshop out back past the tennis courts...let's go see what I've been dreaming up. I think we better get out of the way of the girl-talk." Beckett suggested.
"Sounds great." Jethro said as he hopped off the bar stool and set his empty glass on the bar.
"Play nice." Jethro whispered in Kate's ear before leaving with Beckett.
"I'm sorry. Really I am that must have sounded awful. But this was a huge adjustment for me. You know I found them...behind a dirty couch. They were all clinging to each other and they were so scared." Kate bit her lower lip and glanced up at Vivien, only to see sorrow in her eyes.
"I know. Patricia told us all that. Well she told me at least. I was just trying to act surprised earlier. We go way back. We were friends in college and she shared some um....some uh you know...confidential things with me." Vivien explained.
"We've been on a waiting list for eight years." Viven added quickly.
Kate swallowed the wine that was left in her glass and stared at Vivien.
"That long?" Kate asked in awe.
"Yes. Ever since..." Vivien trailed off and her expression went cold.
"Since what?" Kate prodded.
"Would you like a tour of my home?" Vivien asked as she jumped up, eager to change the subject.
"Sure." Kate said as she stood, hoping to ease the tension.
"It is so lovely. Did you do all the decorating yourself?" Kate asked as they finished their tour of the first floor and headed upstairs.
"I did. Well actually we did. An empty house was my wedding present from Beckett. We traveled around the world on our honeymoon. I had stuff shipped home from everywhere to fill it up. He said that's what he wanted, for me to enjoy this house, to fill it with beautiful things and beautiful children." Vivien sighed heavily as they stopped at the top of the large staircase.
"This is one of the many bedrooms." Vivien said as they turned right and headed into an elegantly decorated bedroom.
"How many?" Kate asked.
"Nine." Vivien replied.
"Wow. Holy crap. How many kids did you plan on?" Kate asked boldly.
"We originally wanted seven or eight." Vivien said as they headed towards more bedrooms.
"I always wanted a big family. Even in high school I felt that someday my destiny would be motherhood. I came from a big family, I'm one of five, and I loved every minute of it." Vivien explained.
Kate decided to back off and soften her approach.
"I'm one of five too!" Kate exclaimed.
"It's a good number. Not too many, not too few." Vivien said as she flicked on the lights in a large bathroom that was decorated with pink marble and eyelet curtains and accents.
"My husband however, is an only child. He describes his youth as constant loneliness, so when we met our junior year of college the thought of a large family was attractive to him." Vivien added.
"Jethro was an only child too!" Kate exclaimed, trying so hard to find common ground with somebody she wanted to dislike.
"This is a room I've been waiting to fill." Vivien said as she opened the door and stepped into a large room with white walls and large floor-to-ceiling windows.
"Play room." Kate said knowingly.
"For sure. Lots of space lots of light. As my mother affectionately referred to it in our house...the center of destruction, chaos and mayhem." Vivien said with a giggle as she stood in the middle of the empty room.
"It has so much potential." Kate added, knowing if she had a room like this in her house it would be amazing.
"We were on our honeymoon when it started. The exhaustion, the dizzy spells, cramping, dry heaves.. Beckett and I both thought it was from traveling. After we left Egypt we were worried it might be Malaria. We cut our honeymoon short by two weeks and I went to the doctor...." Vivien paused as if to gauge Kate's reaction.
Kate was held captive by what Vivien was saying. For being a complete stranger she was really opening up.
"I had uterine cancer. It was stage three. They thought I was going to die. I was twenty-seven and my hopes of motherhood were gone before my first wedding anniversary. I made it through three rounds of chemo and a round of radiation. I had been a school teacher but I was sick for so long I let my license lapse...after that I never really went back to it. It was easier to help Beckett run things and plan parties and decorate my house." Vivien said as she wiped a tear from her cheek.
Kate stood frozen unsure of what to say. This was one of those awkward situations where there was no right thing to say.
"All we want is a family. I know these children have emotional problems. I know they have learning problems. I directed a special-needs classroom for two years. These children can over come their issues. It is possible. I'm sick of traveling, I'm sick of fashion-week parties, I'm sick of pretentious country-club snobs...I just want babies! I want to send the older ones to school and be here when they get home...and spend all day teaching the little one new things and helping him speak and read and all of that fun stuff!" Vivien said as she fought back tears.
Kate instinctively reached out and hugged a crying Vivien. Watching her was almost more than Kate could handle.
"And babies you shall have." Kate whispered softly in Vivien's ear as the two women hugged. Kate knew that for certain, but whether Kate would be the one to give Vivien children was the uncertain part.
There was no doubt in Kate's mind now that Vivien and Beckett would be good parents.
"We...Jethro and I...could never give the children a life like this." Kate said softly as she pulled away from Vivien.
"It's not all about money you know." Vivien said.
"I know that." Kate said as she started crying.
"It's not about money...it's about love. You haven't even met these children and you love them. That much is clear." Kate explained.
"I would never take somebody's children from them...I need you to know that Kate. It's just that Patti thought you guys wanted this temporary arrangement. She never thought you'd consider adopting all four..." Vivien choked back a sob as she looked up at Kate.
"It's just so hard, we've already had two adoptions and one surrogacy fall through." Vivien added as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her sleeve.
Kate and Vivien stood there silently for a bit, speaking things in reverent silence that could never be said with words.
Twenty minutes later Beckett's voice boomed up the stairs.
"Viv!" He yelled loudly.
"Do I look frightful?" Vivien asked as she stood in the large play room and glanced at Kate.
"Just as frightful as me." Kate said, she knew both women had mascara streaks and red eyes.
"How bad is it?" Kate asked.
"Let's just call each other tarantula eyes for the time being." Vivien said with a laugh.
"I'm really glad Patti had us meet. I think this was good for the both of us." Kate said as the women headed downstairs.
"I told you so." Jethro whispered to Beckett.
"I heard that." Kate said playfully as she punched Jethro in the shoulder.
"Yes...we were crying." Vivien said as Beckett reached out to hug his wife.
"Let's head back to the lounge." Beckett suggested.
It was Jethro who broke the ice first...which surprised Kate.
"We all have some serious choices to make. Big decisions." Jethro said as he leaned back in a leather armchair.
"That we do." Vivien said as she held Beckett's hand for comfort.
"We'll be in touch." Jethro said abruptly as he stood up and shook Beckett and Vivian's hands.
Kate followed Jethro and they headed out.
"We hope to hear from you or Patricia soon." Vivien said as she hugged Kate.
The moment they got into the car Kate could barely contain herself.
"So?" Jethro prodded.
Kate motioned for Jethro to remain silent as Kate pulled out her phone.
"Hey Abby...yeah it took a bit longer than we expected and umm...if it wouldn't be too much trouble we have some very serious things we need to talk about privately...you don't mind do you?" Kate asked.
"What did she say?" Jethro asked as they drove away.
"She can stay until six when she has to leave for bowling." Kate said as she closed her phone.
"Two hours." Jethro said as he looked at the clock.
"What did you and Beckett talk about?" Kate asked.
"Depends on what you and Vivien talked about." Jethro replied.
"Girl stuff." Kate replied.
"Well we talked about boy stuff then." Jethro replied gruffly.
"Hey honey...can you turn here?" Kate asked as she pointed left.
"Sure." Jethro said as he slowed down to make the turn.
"I should have known." Jethro said with a heavy sigh as he parked the car.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kate asked defensively.
"I've just never been very good at...this..." Jethro gestured at the large building in front of them.
"It's fine. It calms me...and trust me right now...you want calm Katie...crazy Katie is dying to come out but...I won't...let...her..." Kate gasped for breath and spoke haltingly as they walked up the large marble stairs.
"I happen to love crazy Katie." Jethro whispered as he wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulders.
"Crazy....Katie...cries!" Kate finally burst into tears as they made their way inside.
"Oh honey!" Jethro said sympathetically as he hugged Kate.
"Let's go." Kate whispered as she wiped her tears with the lapels on Jethro's jacket.
"I think I forgot how to do this." Jethro whispered uneasily as he knelt in a pew.
"I'll do the talking for both of us." Kate said as she blessed herself and stared at the large icon of the Blessed Mother that was placed near the ornate altar at the front of the church.
Jethro knelt and tried talking to a God he didn't really understand, but one he knew existed. Kate however, seemed so assured so confident as she prayed. She alternated between some prayers Jethro didn't recognize, and ones that he knew were familiar. Her fingers gently tapped against the pew, one would stop momentarily, and then she'd begin all over again. It didn't take Jethro long to realize that Kate was keeping track of the Rosary.
"Done." Kate finally whispered as she blessed herself and stood up.
"So what's on your mind?" Jethro asked as he pressed the issue on the ride home.
"Ask me in the morning. I want to sleep on it." Kate said as she folded her arms and stared out the window.
"Understood." Jethro replied, knowing he felt the same way.
"I told them you were on a date." Abby whispered as she hugged Kate good-bye.
"Thanks." Kate whispered back, not wanting to alarm the children.
Unbeknownst to Kate, Jethro hugged Abby and slipped her a small piece of paper.
From the saftey of her car Abby dialed sister Rosita.
"Hi...I can't make it tonight I have to work." Abby explained quickly before hanging up.
Three hours later Jethro got the phone call he had been dreading. He was pushing Joelle and Sawyer on the swingset and stepped away to speak to Abby in the semi-private area behind a shrub.
"You're not going to like this Gibbs...these people should be cannonized. They are fine specimens of philanthropy and humanitarianism." Abby said with a heavy sigh, knowing that this would not make Kate or Jethro's life any easier for the time being.
"Thanks Abby." Jethro said quietly before hanging up his phone and returning to the swingset.
It amazed Jethro how all through dinner, playtime and storytime Kate never let it show that she was upset, or scared. "That's what makes her a damn good mother." Jethro thought to himself as he watched Kate. They tucked each of the children in like they did every night and retreated to their room with Marshall.
"I'm ready to talk." Kate said as she turned the covers down on the bed.
"Me too." Jethro said unexpectedly, and Kate looked at him in surprise.
"I love them. I know this was supposed to be temporary but I love them." Kate confessed as she slid into bed and propped herself up on a pillow.
"I feel the same way, but Kate sometimes when you love someone...or four...you have to..." Jethro trailed off as he looked at Kate sadly.
"Let them go." Kate finished with a sigh.
"Exactly. We have three beautiful children. Maggie, Matthew, and now Marshall. They are everything to us." Jethro said as he stared at Kate, searching her face for a reaction of any kind.
"I feel selfish. I feel sad...I feel conflicted." Kate admitted.
"Selfish? How?" Jethro asked, and Kate could tell by his expression that he already knew.
"You know they can't have children and they wanted like...a gazillion...we already have three. At some point shouldn't we share our blessings?" Kate wondered aloud. Finally she had verbalized the nagging question that had pained her all day.
"Beckett told me about Vivien. It broke his heart. I thought he was actually going to cry." Jethro said as he wrapped Kate up in a hug.
"And then...I started thinking about you...and us. If that ever happened to you what would I do? What would we do? Would people understand us? What would we expect from others?" Jethro whispered as he laced his fingers with Kate's and held her hand as they shared an embrace.
"Wow...I didn't realize you had put this much thought into it...you should open up more often." Kate said with a slight giggle.
"Not likely." Jethro quipped.
"Sawyer and Joelle, they have learning disabilities too. Dyslexia, reading comprehension problems, nothing that can't be corrected with hard work, but we just had the conversation not two weeks ago. I can't stay home. We can't afford it. It won't happen in this lifetime. Vivien can work with the children constantly. She even told me that she dreams of being there to help them with school work and all that stuff." Kate sighed as she said it.
"Beckett wants nothing more than to teach the children how to fish and play basketball." Jethro said, re-iterating what the men had shared about fatherhood.
"But at the same time...money, staying home with your children, fancy clothes it isn't everything." Kate said with a biting tone.
"No it's not. But I get the feeling that these people are the real deal." Jethro said as he ran a hand through Kate's long brown hair.
"Either way...any choice we make...it's going to suck." Kate said as she reached over and turned the lights off.
"That's for damn sure." Jethro muttered as he closed his eyes and drifted off.
***THE NEXT MORNING***
Kate wished she could have some of that confidence she always possesed with her today, but it was gone. She was decidedly downtrodden and lack-luster.
Jethro gripped her hand tightly as they sat in Patti's office.
"You're sure you're ready to proceed?" Patti asked as she handed Jethro and Kate each a pen.
"It's now or never." Kate said as she hurriedly scrawled her name on the paperwork, with Jethro following suit.
"That was the hardest thing I've ever done." Kate said as they walked out of Children's Services.
"That was the second hardest thing I've ever done." Jethro said as they headed for work, eager to be distracted.