The grass was cold and frozen over into ice as Ciel awoke from his exhaustion. The gate was abandoned, and he was somewhat sad he hadn't woken up in Sebastian's arms.
But he remembered he shattered Sebastian without reasoning, and of course that wouldn't have happened.
With a low grumble of pain, he stood up and held his arms as the cold wind threatened his skin. His feet trudged up the hill, slowly beginning to increase his pace. He had to get to Sebastian fast. He lasted months in hatred when he was wrong all along; and he was too blind to admit it. His pride was more important.
He tripped a few times, but made it up to the doors and slammed his fists on it. The doors slowly creaked open, and Ciel peaked inside with almost a fear. "Sebastian?" He called out as he stepped inside the darkened castle. His eyes narrowed in confusion as he looked around the room he stood in. What happened to its beauty?
Things were broken, torn, smashed, and shattered. Ciel saw tables that were broken, and it almost broke him himself. He knew where all of these things should've gone. The once beautiful icicles that hung from the ceiling were sharp and dangerous as they coiled and bent in odd shapes. Ciel had to maneuver his way past the ice daggers in order to get into the hallway. "Sebastian!"
Ciel tore down the hallways and threw open doors to find the king; but, he was nowhere.
That is until Ciel finally made his way to the library. Slowly, with hesitance, he opened the door. The library was the only room not destroyed... and even his pile of books remained where he had left them that one day...
Dead, tired crimson eyes looked up at Ciel before narrowing with hatred. "Leave." The command was low and dark as the kings nails scratched at his desk.
Ciel shook his head silently as he stepped closer. He remembered when they kissed. How he had held Sebastian to soothe him and give him love he never had. Ciel had to have been the monster in this story. He gave him love before shoving him away and striking him where he stood. He remembered the pleasure filled nights they shared. Was that love? Or was it just the cravings and hormones of two people in need?
"You were right." Ciel choked out, and Sebastian lazily looked up once more. "Don't speak, and let me finish. I don't deserve being here. You were right about everything. I should've been thankful for being here, though you were dominant and sometimes cruel, you had reason to be. I didn't have reason to do what I did because my reasoning was based on false things and misconception. I gave you love before throwing you away. I looked through files and books and saw what my family did. All your life you've worked on saving me, and others. I'm truthfully sorry, down to the depths of my core for hurting you and leaving. It was the one decision I've ever made that I ended up regretting every day."
Ciel realized how pathetic he must look. Tears even started to drip from his eyes as his fists were held tight to his sides and he slightly shook. Sebastian only blinked. "Now, what? You expect me to greet you with loving, open arms and forget it all happened."
Ciel shook his head. "No, I just wanted to set things right. I'll leave again-"
"No."
Ciel stood in shock at Sebastian's quick response. "I believe there is something on this earth that you desire more than anything... and it wasn't me." Sebastian muttered quietly and shook his head; seemingly, in disbelief. "Yet I desired you more than anything. Don't leave again... Please."
Ciel felt his knees start to shake, and all he wanted was to run into the mans arms and sob. But he didn't. He stood his ground. With a slow nod, he looked down. The first thing he would do would be to clean the damn mess Sebastian made of the castle. But he understood why he had made it so ugly on the inside. It reflected himself.
The outside was dark, had stories of cruelty, and was threatening. But the inside was warm and beautiful. When Ciel left, all that beauty and warmth was washed away, and instead he went insane.
Sebastian looked up at Ciel once more. He didn't want to give into him. He wanted to keep him at a distance and be cruel to show Ciel what he had done. But he loved him. He was an idiot, but he didn't want to hurt Ciel the way he hurt him. Ciel turned to walk away before stopped by an almost silent whisper from the king.
"I love you."
Ciel felt more tears in his eyes, but he smiled lightly with a little sniffle.
"I love you too."
Deep down Ciel could feel his heart beat faster and warm up just at those words.
He knew he meant it. Sebastian knew too.