Disclaimer: I don't own glee

Chapter 11: I don't want to go back to the start

Santana was finally back in Los Angeles. The separation was hard for the couple, especially after Rachel realised she was in love with the Latina. They celebrated their reunion for a few days and the diva told her girlfriend how much she was touched by the song she wrote.

After two weeks, Rachel had planned the perfect date to confess her love. It was composed in two parts. The first one was a surprise; she obtained a guest appearance in her former show for Santana. She was thankful to still have friends on set, particularly one of the writers who didn't want Rachel to be fired. She knew he was a fan of Santana and would have the perfect part for her.

The second part of the date was a romantic dinner at Rachel's place. The girl didn't want paparazzi to ruin the moment so a restaurant was excluded. The diva, to keep Santana busy, asked her to go to the grocery store. Meanwhile, she made dinner and set the table with candles and flowers.

When Santana came back from the store, all the lights were deemed in the house. Intrigued, she called Rachel.

"Dinning room" the diva replied.

Santana made her way to the dinning room and stopped when she saw the table set with roses and lit candles. She raised her eyebrow "Not that I'm complaining babe but what's the occasion?"

Rachel smiled "Do I need a reason to spoil my girlfriend?"

"No, but the cocky smile on your face tell me there is a reason" the Latina said before kissing her girlfriend.

Rachel's face lighted up "I have a surprise for you!"

"Really, what?" the raven-haired girl asked intrigued.

"Let's eat first; I don't want the food to get cold"

"What? No, you can't do that!" Santana complained.

"Do what?"

"Telling me you have a surprise for me and then ask me to wait, it's cruel. You know I'm not a patient person!" the Latina whined.

"I know sweetie, but it worth it, I promise. Let's enjoy our dinner and I will tell you everything after dessert."

Santana sighed "I suppose if there is talking involve, you're not my dessert?"

"Indeed" Rachel replied amused.

Santana laughed. She grabbed Rachel by the wrist and pulled her against her before the girl could sit. She locked her arms around her girlfriend and kissed her bruisingly.

Out of breath, Rachel asked "And what was the occasion for that mind-blowing kiss?"

The Latina shrugged "I just wanted to wipe that smug look off your face."

Rachel gasped "Santana!"

"I'm kidding love!" Santana hurried. She walked next to the table and pulled out Rachel's chair with a smile "Have a seat Milady"

"Oh Dear, it's so nice of you!" the diva smiled broadly "But I am the one who should do it since I surprised you with this dinner" She sat and pouted "Why didn't I think of that?"

"It's okay" the raven-haired girl chuckled and sat on her chair "I can spoil you too."

Rachel took Santana's hand in hers and looked at her girlfriend lovingly "I never said this but, I really love your laugh… and your smile, specially when I saw your dimples…"

"I love your smile too. I know it's cheesy but it's like a light in the dark…"

"I like it when you are cheesy, I think it's sweet" Rachel leaned over and kissed Santana, an affectionate, sweet but intense kiss which conveyed all the girl's feelings. "We should really eat…"

"Mmhh" moaned Santana, slowly opening her eyes "Yes, we should…"

They ate dinner and exchanged some chitchat and hot kisses until dessert came. "So, what's the surprise?" the Latina asked when Rachel brought the apple pie.

Rachel laughed "You don't want to lose a second do you?"

"Please, please, please, it's killing me, I need to know" the raven-haired girl begged.

The diva shook her head at her girlfriend's childish behaviour "Okay, okay. Let's go to the living room and sit on the couch"

"Are you offering me sex? Because it's not a surprise at all! I can have you every day of the week… Unless you want to do some…"

"Santana!" the petite brunette cut her off "Not everything is about sex! Now sit and listen would you!"

"Okay! Jeez, you're so bossy" Santana mumbled.

Rachel decided to ignore the girl's remark and sat next to her girlfriend. She took a deep breath and said "We have been together for almost six months now and I want to tell you that I'm happy. You make me happy and I thank my lucky star everyday for bringing us together. You are sweet, funny, thoughtful and you even wrote this amazing song for me. So tonight, I wanted to repay you. That's why I planned this surprise."

"Baby, thank you but there is not need"

"Hush, I'm not finished yet. So I called one of my friends from my former show and… I GOT YOU a guest appearance in it!" squealed the petite brunette.

"Seriously!?"

"Yes! I have talked about this with your agent, he thought it was a great idea for you career!" the diva replied proudly.

Santana marvelled "Wow babe thanks, it's huge… I don't know what to say."

"If you want to know what I could do for you, this is just a glimpse of what I am capable of when I love someone like I love you…"

"Tha…" Santana's eyes widened when she realised what her girlfriend said. Not sure if she heard correctly, the girl asked "Wait, what?"

"I love you Santana" Rachel repeated with a soft smile.

At these words Santana's heart skipped a beat. She took a deep breath to calm herself and cupped Rachel's face "I love you too, Rachel". They kissed passionately for a few minutes, trying to convey all the love they felt for each other. When they broke the kiss for air, Santana smiled and finally found the strength to ask Rachel to go to New-York with her "Come with me in New York after you have finished recording"

"What? I Can't…" the diva answered, still dizzy from the kiss.

The Latina straightened to focus on the conversation "What do you mean you can't?"

Rachel sighed "I can't just elope with you Santana. Can't we just enjoy this moment and talk about this later?"

"No! Why can't you? New-York is my home, yours too. It's where everything started" The Latina insisted.

"My life is here now, I have nothing in New York" the diva explained.

Santana hurt by Rachel's statement, raised from the couch "Nothing? What about me? What about Kurt and the others? Here in L.A no one cares about what you think, what you do or who you are, but I do, so come with me"

"I can't be on Broadway anymore" Rachel argued "What will I do?"

The Latina sat back and took Rachel's hands in hers "There are a lot of possibilities. At least you have me, we could figure it out together."

The petite brunette took a few minutes to think about it and finally spoke "Why can't you stay in L.A? There is nothing you can do New-York that you can't do here!"

"Seriously Rachel?" Santana asked in disbelief "So when you said we'll make it, you meant if I do as you wish?"

"Of course not! But I don't understand why we should change the life we have, we are happy here" the diva insisted.

"Because except for you I don't have anything. I leave in your house, drive a renting car, I use your stuff…My job is in New-York and in a few months you will be promoting your album, you can work from anywhere, like I did when you were injured."

"So I should leave my life behind for you?" This time, it was Rachel who rose from the couch, followed by Santana.

"You say it like it's a sacrifice when there is nothing holding you back." It was the last straw for the Latina, she couldn't contain her anger anymore "After everything I did for you! The number of times I came running back to help you, for that nude scene in your student movie, for the pregnancy scare, for Donkey face; even after you kicked me out of the apartment I might add. Oh and I have more" she said, raising her voice "When you were freaking out about your Broadway debut or when I took your place as Funny Girl because I didn't want your ass to get fired. And more recently, put my life on hold for 3 months to help you after your accident! And when I ask you one thing, it's directly no! End of the discussion?" she finished, out of breath.

"Santana…" Rachel quavered.

"No, don't! I'm tired of this; I did it for years, because I cared about you! Or maybe because there was something between us all along and we weren't ready. Frankly, I don't want to know. But now that we are together, I thought I'd be enough! I guess not… Everything is still about you and what you want. Well, you know what? If you want me, it's your turn to run after me because I'm done." Santana looked at Rachel one more time and walked toward the side table to grab her purse.

When Rachel saw Santana gathering her stuff, she tried to stop her "Can't we at least discuss it?"

"You want to talk now?" Santana laughed bitterly "No, there is nothing to discuss. I want to leave, you want to stay and none of us will change her mind. I thought you were different, that I could trust you with my heart and maybe once, I even thought you could be the one... But I was wrong! I guess you're just another freaking disappointment in my life. Goodbye Rachel." She slammed the door and got into her car without looking back, leaving a crying Rachel behind her.