A/N: After the (fantastic) reviews of the last chapter the management of this story would like it noted that the author accepts no responsibility for broken household items - desks, plates, computer screens, patience, wills to live etc. - caused by the ridiculous level of misunderstanding in any particular chapter. That said - Hide the good china...
I do not own Fairy Tail.
Chapter Eleven – Just A Kiss
The moment the two broken pieces of Simon's phone clicked together the screen flared back into life. Unbelievably, the call to Jellal was still connected. I took the phone back from Simon. "Hello?" I tried but there was only silence and when I pulled the phone away, the screen had turned black again. I couldn't help feeling disappointed. I guess I would have to send Jellal a text as soon as I could charge up my phone but it seemed likely that we wouldn't be able to speak until the morning. I felt a flicker of concern. He'd seemed pretty desperate to find me. I hoped he was okay.
"I think we need to call the police," Simon said.
"Yeah but with what? Your phone is broken and mine has no battery."
Simon started to rifle through the guy's clothes. "Thought so. Take your pick," he said and pulled out three different phones. Clearly these idiots were having a good night. "I bet they usually rush up to unsuspecting victims, snatch the phones right out of their hands and then run off."
"Disgusting." I didn't feel sorry for roughing them up any more. I chose a phone at random and made the call.
I left my phone lying in the street outside Simon's house. There was no reason to keep it. My life was over. Yet for some bizarre reason no one else seemed aware of this fact. The world kept spinning on, as if everything was okay. Apparently the sun would still rise in a few hours, right on schedule. Who knew?
Post personal apocalypse, with nowhere else to go, I wandered back to the school. Big mistake. All these damn couples kept appearing everywhere. Was everyone in Magnolia but me getting laid tonight? Fucking hell. It had never bothered me before but watching all these loved up people was truly nauseating.
First, I had the great misfortune of finding Gray with his tongue in Juvia's mouth at the school gates. I debated intervening. That particular hook up would only end one way. Namely, Juvia waking up alone with Gray MIA. I'd like to think Gray would stick around for a girl so obviously head over heels in love with him but I doubted it. The guy was as cold as ice when it came to serious relationships. I could already imagine the waves this scandal would create in our little band of friends. Still, probably not as shocking as Erza and...
"Will you two get a fucking room!"
Gray came up for air and blinked at me, oblivious to my dark mood. "That's a great idea," he said. They sauntered off in the direction of the dorms, Gray's hands all over Juvia's ass. She looked like she'd just won the fucking lottery. Bitch.
Exasperated, I kept heading in the direction of the gym. I needed a fucking drink. What I got instead was Gajeel and Levy having an argument. Trouble in paradise? Of course not.
"I can walk by myself!" She insisted.
"You said two minutes ago that those heels are hurting you. Stop being so stubborn," he said back.
"I'm wearing a dress."
"It's past one in the morning. No one will see."
"I'm too heavy."
"Now you're just being ridiculous."
I think this fell definitively within the realm of what Millianna would call 'cute'. Gajeel was always doing these stupid little things for Levy that didn't suit his rough and tumble outer appearance at all. They were such opposites and they'd hated each other when he first transferred to Magnolia High. Now look at them. What I wouldn't give to have these kind of couple moments with...
"For fucks sake! Just let him fucking carry you!"
They both looked up in surprise at my sudden outburst. Gajeel recovered first, "That's what I've been saying all along." Levy gathered up the shimmery fabric of her dress and used a hair tie to secure it in a loose knot just above her knees. Gajeel knelt down and she climbed onto his back. I couldn't help thinking that I used to give Erza piggyback rides like that all the time when we were kids.
"I'm heavy right?"
"Not at all."
"Did I flash you Jellal?"
"No," I lied. I had thought it was impossible for things to get any worse but being beaten up by Gajeel tonight would definitely be defined as 'worse'.
"See you later," they said, perfectly in sync. What the hell? Who the fuck does that? Oh right, Erza and I used to, literally all the time. They left, Gajeel humming tunelessly, Levy's head resting on his shoulder. Yet another happy couple thanks to my marriage counselling. I should start charging.
Fuck. I really needed that drink.
In the gym the Macarena was playing. It was so hot and sweaty, I almost turned around and walked straight back out but I hadn't come this far to leave empty handed. I crossed the darkened room, dodging waving arms and shaking hips to grab a glass of punch. Which was promptly knocked out of my hand by an over-enthusiastic Natsu.
"Jellal! Where the hell have you been? Is this not the best night ever?" He yelled over the music and people chanting 'Aaay Macarena!'. Lucy appeared at his side, all giggly and excited. I stood there, punch dripping all over my hand, as they threw their arms around each other like they hadn't seen one another in a hundred years.
"What the fuck is wrong with you people! This is the worse fucking night of my entire fucking life and every single one of you is fucking pissing me the fuck off!"
Natsu stared at me. "Dude. Relax. Going for the world record on using the f-word in a single sentence or something?"
"Are you okay, Jellal?" Lucy asked, her arms still draped around Natsu's neck. "Did you have another fight with Erza?"
Something in me snapped. It was probably for the best that the torrent of emotions I felt at that moment rendered me speechless. I was PMS-ing worse than any girl. My mental state swinging wildly between angry and depressed so fast I could hardly keep up with myself. I needed to get away from them, from everyone, from the world, from life. I could not deal with this shit. And the one person who could understand how I felt right now was doing heaven only knows what with that bastard Simon. Oh god, why was I back to thinking about that? Fuck my fucking life...
All things considered the police were really understanding and perhaps a little impressed. Since it was prom night they didn't drag Simon and me down to the station for statements. They recorded the basics of what happened and asked us to come in on Monday to submit a proper report. Even so, it was still a good forty five minutes before we were finally back in Simon's car.
"Do you want to go back to the party?" he asked.
"No. It's practically over anyway and I'm dead tired. I'm sorry about your phone."
"Don't worry about it. I've got insurance. Should I take you home?"
"If you don't mind."
The easy listening radio station was back on. Some teenage girl was bemoaning the fact that her crush didn't reciprocate her feelings. I listened as the low, smooth voice of the commentator told her she was still young and had plenty of time to find 'the one'. I hoped he was right. If I was giving up on Jellal that meant there was someone out there who'd be perfect for me in a way that he wasn't. I couldn't quite believe that yet.
Simon stopped the car outside the dorm and insisted on walking me up the stairs, onto the porch and right to the front door. We stood there now, my keys jangling in my hand. It felt like that awkward moment in movies when the guy leans in for a kiss. Weird. "Thanks again for tonight," I said.
"It's certainly been memorable. I'll see you around," he said, "And Erza..."
"Yeah?" I had my hand on the door handle, key poised and ready.
"I'm happy I got this one night with you. But what you and Jellal have is really special. Don't let it go."
I let out an exasperated sigh, "There is nothing special about my relationship with Jellal! We're friends. Give us a break please!"
Simon put his hands in his pockets and I turned to face him. We needed to settle this once and for all.
"So you're really not dating?" He scuffed one foot against the wooden decking.
"No."
"Have never dated?"
"No and we never will." Ouch. Slight twinge of pain but I'd get over it. I didn't have any other choice.
"Then... Do you like anyone?"
"No." The lie came easily. I figured if I said it enough, eventually it would come true.
"What about me?"
"What?" I was genuinely shocked. That question was completely out of the blue. I thought I'd made in obvious earlier that I didn't return his feelings. But I hadn't said it explicitly, had I?
Simon looked intently into my eyes, "Well, do you dislike me?"
A trick question. "Uh no. I don't dislike you but you know umm..." I stuttered. I was obviously wandering into some kind of intricate trap but I wasn't sure how to steer this conversation into safer territory.
Simon was back to looking at his feet. "Ah hell. This is way out of line and I know you don't want to date me but I've liked you for a long time Erza. Taking you to prom was the best thing to ever happen to me. If you really don't like anyone and you don't hate me then is it okay for me to kiss you?"
Oh shit.
I felt like shit. Since abandoning the party, I'd been aimlessly wandering. No destination or purpose in mind. Walking simply to walk. If Magnolia had been a more dangerous city I might have run into some trouble. Maybe I'd been subconsciously looking for trouble. Sensei would have a fit if he thought I was intentionally going out of my way to use my skills to beat up unsuspecting bad guys but no enemies of justice appeared. They were all busy accosting someone else I guess. So I walked and walked. Eventually my feet took me home but I was restless and somehow they led me here. Outside the girls dorm. Which was pointless. Erza wasn't here. She was most likely curled up next to Simon in post-coital bliss. Don't think about it Jellal. Just don't.
I leaned back against the banister that surrounded the porch. I don't know what I was expecting. To sit here and wait until she came home in the morning? If I was the first person she saw maybe she'd want to tell me all about it. A full retelling of her first time. It was the kind of thing a girl would tell her best friend. And it would double up as proof that she was over me. That our love was dead and her relationship with Simon just beginning.
I let my head fall back and sighed deep. I wondered... Had it been like this with her all these long weeks? I hoped not. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. What to do, what to do? There was no obvious answer. I couldn't deal with Erza dating Simon but I had no confidence that I could get her back after I'd screwed up so badly. Could a person die of a broken heart? Probably not but I'd sure put the theory to the test. Fuck. This was so depressing.
A car pulled up and the lights swung over me. One of the girls coming home. I checked my watch. Ten past two. How I'd made it through the last hour, I had no idea. How I would face the next few hours, never mind the coming days and weeks without Erza was beyond me. It hit me then that I was bone tired, exhausted right to my very core. Maybe whoever had come home wouldn't mind letting me crash on the couch in the living room. Now that Erza was presumably happy dating Simon none of the girls had any reason to keep hating me. I dragged myself onto my feet and made my way sullenly to the front of the house.
Say what? Kiss me? I opened my mouth for an immediate negative response. I didn't feel that way about Simon. But the way he stood there, looking down at his feet, hands in his pockets, hopeful but hesitant made the knee-jerk rejection die in my throat. Of course I wasn't in love with him but I didn't hate him either and, judging by the way he phrased the question, he knew it would be a simple kiss and nothing else. He only wanted that little bit of happiness. Hell, didn't we all? How many times had I hoped for a kiss from Jellal before I finally got one worth remembering?
And no matter how much I wanted to forget this whole phase that one kiss had made all the pain worth it. I could move on, become content with being just friends with Jellal, eventually fall in love with somebody else and make a million new memories but that kiss would always be special. Mainly because it had made me happier than I'd ever thought possible, if only for that moment.
"Okay," I heard myself say.
"Seriously?" Simon's head snapped up and his eyes widened in surprise.
"Yeah. It's just one kiss. You won't get any funny ideas right?"
"No, never. Not a single funny idea. I know it will just be a one off thing." Even as he said the words his whole face lit up. That was what I was talking about. That singular moment of happiness that a person could look back on later and say 'it didn't work out but we did share one hell of a kiss'. It was written all over his face. Simon was a good friend. I could at least give him this.
I stepped towards him and rested my hands on his shoulders. It was more than a little weird but whatever. This was just an innocent kiss right? Simon hadn't moved so I tiptoed and leaned into him. It was just a kiss. His arms came around me. Just a kiss. He closed his eyes. A kiss...
My heart balked, screamed at me that this was ludicrous, that I shouldn't do it, but he was leaning down to meet me and it was too late to back out now. I squeezed my eyes shut and Jellal was right there, my heart and head so full of him that there was no room for anyone else. It felt like I was cheating on him. I tried not to tense up in Simon's arms and hoped it'd be over fast.
Silent as a lonely ghost I climbed the steps up to the front door. Looked up. Counted the seconds it took me to take in the scene.
One... A moonlit night.
Two... A couple holding each other close.
Three... A single tear rolling slowly down Erza's cheek.
Four... I punched Simon in the face. There was a sickening crunch of breaking cartilage. He stumbled backwards, blood trickling from his nose. Serves him right. It took years for me to bring Erza to tears and he'd managed it in one fucking night. Bastard. He was going to pay for this.
As soon as I managed to get up.
"Oh my god!" What the hell had just happened? I had Simon on my right, leaning against the front door, most likely with a broken nose from the sound of things, and Jellal pinned beneath me. Because I'd decked him. Obviously not on purpose! I don't know. The run in with the muggers had me on high alert and Jellal had appeared so suddenly... I reacted without thinking. At least I'd recognized him almost immediately and switched to a less painful aikido move. Still, our skill levels were more or less equal so he should have been able to counter it. But he was so tensed up I doubted he'd even thought of it.
"How many times tonight am I going to have to do this?" I looked up and directed the question at the sky. This had to be the most bizarre prom night ever.
"Get off me now so I can kill that bastard," Jellal growled.
"Uh... No. Why did you do that anyway?" Not that I wasn't grateful. I really hadn't wanted to kiss Simon. I didn't really want him to end up with a broken nose either. In any case it was good to see Jellal but wasn't a knight in shining armour supposed to be, I don't know, kind of suave about these sort of rescues?
"You're crying. I swear, if he hurt you in anyway Erza I'll-" He tried to get up and I had to use all my upper body strength to keep him on the ground.
"Relax, Jellal. He didn't hurt me but you definitely hurt him. Are you okay Simon?"
"I guess. I suppose I deserved that," he mumbled with a look at me that said clear as day 'like hell you're not dating'.
I blushed, "I'm so sorry Simon. I don't know why he did that. Why did you do that?" I asked for the second time because the first answer had been so ludicrous.
"Erza. I saw you crying. Don't tell me you weren't. He deserves everything he gets just for that."
I twisted his arm a bit and he winced. While he was distracted I raised one hand to my face and wiped my cheek. I guess I had been crying. The realisation made me hate myself a little bit more. I was so deep in love with Jellal that I couldn't even kiss another guy. Stupid, silly girl. I really had to find a way to let go of all this weakness.
"I wasn't crying," Mavis, I was tuning into a compulsive liar. "I'm going to let you up now. Simon hasn't done anything to me tonight that I didn't want him to do. So chill okay?"
His whole body tensed up at my words, then relaxed and when I shifted away from him he didn't move. So I shuffled across the deck and had a look at Simon.
That was a lie. She had been crying. I know what I saw and I hadn't like it. Not one bit. I sat up slowly and tried to control my temper. As long as Erza was here I'd have to be content with sending Simon death threats with my eyes. This would have been so much easier if she was the kind of girl that stood to one side and squealed 'Ah stop! Don't fight over me!' whilst secretly loving it. But she wasn't like that. I'd never heard Erza squeal in my entire life. And she wouldn't let anyone fight her battles for her. Erza was independent and feisty and a complete handful but that's why I loved her so much. I wouldn't change a damn thing about her... except what she was doing right now.
She was on her knees in front of Simon, her hands cradling his face while she examined his nose. It was definitely broken. I couldn't help but feel smug about that even as my own hand throbbed from the impact. She leaned towards him and I panicked, thinking she was about to try and kiss him again. I scrambled across the wooden decking and yanked her backwards. She tumbled into my lap with a little gasp. Her hair had been pulled up into this elaborate bun but it tumbled down, cascading down her back and over my shoulder, a multitude of pins falling onto the porch with soft tinkling sounds. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tightly. Breathed deep and all I could smell was her coconut shampoo. Fuck giving up. Erza was mine. "We need to talk," I muttered into the back of her neck.
Did we ever. What the hell was Jellal up to? He was clinging all over me like I was a lifeline. Not that I was complaining. His warm breath tickled my neck and his strong arms around my waist felt good. I relaxed for a moment against his chest. We hadn't seen each other all day, although it felt more like a lifetime, and we certainly hadn't been this comfortable around each other in a long time. It would be good to go back to being close friends. I missed him hugging me and playing with my hair and being normal around me. Now if only I could get my heart to slow down things would be exactly as they had been before.
"I should go," said Simon abruptly. Or at least I think that's what he said. His voice was all warped and funny sounding because of his injury.
"Yes, you should," said Jellal and I elbowed him. There was no need for him to use that nasty tone of voice.
Simon got to his feet and I struggled to get out of Jellal's grasp but his grip on me only tightened. "Don't go Simon. You need to ice that right away. Let go Jellal."
"No," he said, as petulant as a spoiled child. Geez, what was with him?
"Fine then don't. But can we at least all go to the kitchen? I'll get some ice for your hand too." This seemed to appease him because the vice-like hold on me lessened and we stood up together. Jellal kept his hands on my waist as I opened the front door. And walked through the lobby. And down the hall. And into the kitchen. "Okay. You really need to let go now." I was certain my face must be beet red and it was nearly impossible to move around with him holding me so close. "Come on, Jellal. Just sit here okay?" I peeled his hands off me and forced him onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar.
Jellal sat there sulkily, his eyes tracking my every step as I moved around the kitchen. I wrapped a bag of frozen peas in a tea towel and handed it to Simon who was sat cautiously on another stool leaving four empty spaces between him and Jellal. He looked like he expected Jellal to pounce on him any minute. "He won't hurt you. It was a mistake and he's very sorry. Aren't you Jellal?" I prompted him.
"I might. It wasn't and I'm not."
I glared at him. "You broke his nose. The least you can do is apologise."
"He deserved it Erza. He's damn lucky you're here or I'd pound him into oblivion."
She sighed and placed a wrapped bag of frozen carrots on my hand. "I don't understand Jellal. What's going on with you today? You rang Simon like a million times and then when you finally see him you punch him in the face straight off the bat."
"I was looking for you, not this idiot and he should have answered his damn phone," I scowled at Simon. It was wasted though, because there was no way he could see me with that bag of peas held to his face.
"We were kind of busy," Simon mumbled and I stood up so fast that the stool clattered onto the kitchen tiles. This guy was fucking asking to die tonight saying things like that.
Erza jumped between us, one hand on my chest. "Sit down. Now. I'm not even joking Jellal. I've had the most crazy night as it is. Stop being so aggressive."
"He started it," I picked up the stool and sat. I knew Erza well enough to know that if I didn't, she would make me.
"I'm going to go before I get hit again." Simon said, "I'm sorry Jellal. What I did was out of line. But seriously, you two need to sort your shit out. Then things like this wouldn't happen."
"I told you Simon. We're not-"
"Whatever Erza. You obviously are. If you're going to use me to make your boyfriend jealous it'd be nice to know ahead of time so I could decide not to be involved in your little games."
Whoa. What? Fucking what? The reality hit me hard. Erza fucking lost her virginity to this guy for no fucking reason whatsoever other than to piss me off. If she was in love with Simon then that was one thing, if she was trying to get over me then fine, but going out of her way to do this just to make me jealous?
Oh fuck no.
"You did all this to make me jealous? I cannot believe you! This is... " Words failed me as I struggled to come to terms with this new revelation. I was beginning to see that this was some devious plot, probably engineered by all of Erza's little girlfriends, to teach me a lesson. No fucking way did she come up with a bullshit idea like this on her own. Fuck, why did it have to be this? The stunt with the shorts was fair play but this? Fucking this?
"This is fucking unbelievable! Couldn't you wait like two fucking minutes for me to find you tonight!" I yelled at Erza. I'd been so close to finding her and confessing that I loved her. All she had to do was stay outside the gym for two more fucking minutes and everything would have been perfect. Fucking perfect. We could have been so happy together. Instead she gave up so easily what should have been mine for such a stupid, petty reason. She wanted jealous? I hoped she was prepared for fucking angry as hell.
"And you!" I whirled on Simon. "If you had just answered your damn phone none of this would have happened. You turned my girlfriend into a fucking whore!"
"I said I'm sorry! And nothing even happened!" Simon held his hands up and stepped back. He was going to have to step into another country to feel safe from me even if it seemed he was an unknowing participant in whatever the hell was going on. Nothing would ever change the fact that he'd fucked my girl.
I turned back to Erza, "How could you do this to me? How could you? You think this is some kind of game? How the fuck am I supposed to look at you now after what you've done?" I was screaming at her. It honestly felt like she'd cheated on me.
"Jellal, don't be so angry. Nothing happened." What the fuck was going on? I'd never seen him so angry before. He'd called me his girlfriend and a whore all in the same sentence. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad but I was definitely confused. Had Jellal really fallen in love with me? That was the only reason I could think of for why he'd be so upset. He was still overreacting though. Simon and I hadn't even kissed but he was behaving like I'd slept with the guy.
"Don't fucking lie to me! I heard you on the phone! I can't believe this." He was pacing up and down, the fury emanating from him almost palpable.
On the phone? Okay, I was even more confused. "With those other guys?"
His eyes went dark, "Others? There were others? How many? Oh my fucking god! Who are you? Just who the fuck are you? I don't even know you!"
Zeref help me. This girl really had turned into a whore. Was this my fault? Had I really made her do this? Fuck. This was the worst day of my entire life. I was right back on the street outside Simon's house and I could hear my heart breaking all over again with each and every damning word that came out of Erza's mouth.
"I think you're misunderstanding something. It wasn't like that," she said.
Simon lowered the bag of peas and managed a smile, "It was pretty amazing to watch actually."
He watched? That was the final straw. Fuck playing nice. This bastard was going down. I crossed the room in a matter of seconds and lashed out at him.
Simon must have a guardian angel riding on his shoulder tonight because instead of breaking his jaw like I wanted to, my fist collided with the bag of peas he held out. The bag exploded outwards, frozen green orbs bouncing all over the kitchen and tiny crystal flakes of ice dusting through the air like a snow globe. Yeah well, let's see if this bastard's luck held out.
"Wait, just wait, Jellal. Can't we talk about this? It wasn't a big deal!" Simon dropped the remaining plastic tatters of the bag and backed away from me but I was done talking.
This, whatever this was, had escalated totally out of control. I knew better that anyone exactly what Jellal was capable of and if I didn't do something Simon would end up with way worse than a broken nose. I kicked my heels off and stepped between Jellal and Simon. I didn't think about it, just reacted, because no matter how angry he was, Jellal would never hurt me.
Simon, for his part, seemed to realise that if he valued his life then leaving was probably for the best and scrambled out the kitchen door. Jellal stalked towards me. He was furious. I could see it blazing in his eyes as he carefully calculated how to get me out of his way. A million different moves went through my mind and I discarded them all in seconds. I knew instinctively that none of them would work. There was only one thing I could think to do. Well then, let's see him counter this.
He reached for me and I stepped effortlessly within his guard so my body pressed up against his, slid my hands up his chest and around his neck, pulled him down until our lips met. It wasn't a kiss. More like a crash collision. There were no pretty fireworks, only a roaring, burning, all consuming fire that flared instantly between us. He tasted bitter and angry and desperate. His right hand gripped the back of my neck. It was freezing cold from the ice treatment. I gasped and his tongue was in my mouth. Insistent, demanding. No question who was dominating this. His left hand raced up my leg, pulling me towards him. I took the hint. With a tiny jump I wrapped my legs around his waist. Even with the slit up one side of my dress I heard the fabric tear. He spun us around and my back slammed into the fridge. The impact knocked the cereal boxes over but I was in no position to care about the mess. He forced my head to the side and bit down hard on the side of my neck. I winced but only clung to him tighter. I could feel his need for me, raw and dangerous. No way was I going to complain if he left a few bruises on my skin.
Jellal tugged on the front of my dress and the clasp at the back of my neck gave way. Layers of purple silk glided down to pool around my waist, exposing my strapless lace bra. The back of his hand trailed down my chest, cold fingers making me flinch away from him. They persisted on their trail to hook into the centre of my bra. Jellal leaned back and looked me right in the eyes. The cold anger was still there, mingled with lust. I knew then that he was doing this to punish me for whatever it was he thought I had done to him. He ripped the black band off me. My breasts tumbled free. All I could do was gasp again. Everything was happening so fast. He was being deliberately rough and there was no way for me to control what was happening. I'd unleashed something within him and it was running away from both of us.
Jellal hoisted me higher and stepped to the side to rest me down on the marble countertop. The moment he didn't have to support my weight his hands were kneading my breasts, one still colder than the other, sending both shivers and sparks through me. His head moved lower till his mouth, warm and wet, sucked on the top of my chest, right where the soft curve of my breast started, leaving yet another bruising love bite. My hands tangled in his hair. I could hear my own raspy breaths as his tongue raced down to circle around one pink nipple. I arched into him even as my mind raced. Should I let him do this? My entire body was longing for his touch, craving more, more, more. There was no denying I liked what he was doing but it still managed to feel slightly wrong.
His hands were on my thighs now, edging higher and higher, reaching for my panties. My resolved wavered. I had only wanted to distract him, not lose my virginity on the kitchen counter. Especially not when he was acting as though he hated me. I finally identified what was off about this moment. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I wanted to be like this with him but I always imagined our first time being filled with love and gentleness not the simmering rage I could feel from him. "Jellal-"
"Shut up!" He hissed, low and dark in my ear, "I'm so angry at you right now. Did you really think this would work? You thought I'd be happy to be just another notch in your bedpost?"
"What? No. I didn't do this to make you jealous." My mind struggled to keep up with him. Did he really think I'd staged the whole almost kiss thing with Simon? If that was the problem then we weren't even reading from different pages, we were reading entirely different books. "Jellal, please, you don't understand."
He grabbed my dress and yanked it back over my breasts. "You're right. I don't. I never thought you'd do something like this. I hurt you. I know that. But that was me genuinely not knowing how things were between us. But this... You did this on purpose with the sole intention of hurting me. You want to act like a whore, I'll treat you like one."
It was like he'd reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. It was so clear to me now. He'd fallen in love with me just in time to see what looked like me making out with another guy. I felt the tears well up. "No, Jellal. It wasn't like that. I never, I swear I never would want to hurt you. Please, I love you. I love you so much."
"You want to cry now? Go right ahead." He stepped away from me and used a magnet to stick a piece of paper onto the fridge. "You want to know who I love? The girl who wrote me that. Let me know if she ever stops being such a slut and decides to act like a decent woman again." He whirled away from me and stormed out of the kitchen.
I sat on the countertop, holding the tattered fragments of my dress over my chest. The floor was littered with defrosting peas, crushed cheerios and the broken pieces of my heart. My confession letter on the fridge silently accused me of betraying the greatest love I'd ever have.
Because when you loved the way we did, there really was no such thing as 'just a kiss'.