Chapter 11 – The Soul
Hi everyone I'm back from Christmas Holidays.
I hope you all have been well and I've been jumping up and down excited to bring you this new arc!
It's really heavy and it was very hard for me to write. I decided to release it early instead of the 6th of January 2017 as a belated Christmas and New Year's gift.
Happy Holidays everyone and enjoy!
…
Orihime awoke in a strange, yet familiar place.
Lanterns hung periodically along the engawa, the light highlighting the mossy grass beneath and the boards bridging over black ponds decorated with lily pads. Outside were tall stone walls decorated with tiles that ran along the outskirts like a maze.
As Orihime shifted her tired legs, her skin brushed against taut tatami mats and she glanced around the small square room leisurely. Other than oil lamps fixtured against each corner, the room was entirely bare.
"Ulq…" The princess had to stop herself.
He was gone now.
"I-Ichigo?" Orihime called out to him with uncertainty. Although she was so used to his presence, it no longer felt natural to say his name.
He leaned on his side and rested his elbow against the wooden floor to stretch and peer into her room. They were both exhausted, but when Orihime saw his signature bright orange hair she felt relieved. He reassured her with a smile and they sat grinning at each other like children.
As he stretched his muscles Orihime wondered to herself how long he had sat outside her room keeping guard. He was dutiful, kind friend and a lovely man.
Relaxed, she fell forward and rested her cheek against her hand with a sigh. If she rested her face against the mats it would not be long before marks lined her cheek, making her miss and appreciate the soft cloud-like bedding of the underworld.
Many questions played out in her mind but none justified the energy to ask. Orihime was curious to how they made it here and the secret behind how to traverse worlds, but before her journey began she was too fatigued to stay awake and learn.
When she had met with Ichigo she was physically and emotionally drained. She collapsed into his care and now she awoke even more tired and weak than before. Her mind was absent of a single detail relating to their journey and she almost kicked herself for forfeiting such valuable information.
"You slept for two days straight." Ichigo explained, confirming her fatigue. "We're in the capital now so we can relax."
Her eyes fluttered shut and she smiled, easily seduced by his reliable tone. "When's Sora coming back?"
"He's not coming here. He's at home right now." Ichigo said, slower and louder than usual as though she were stupid or deaf.
Usually she would laugh to herself, embarrassed that Ichigo had thought that she had lost her wits. Instead, adrenaline flooded through her blood stream and she jolted nimbly on her feet.
"We need to leave the capital right now." Orihime said firmly.
She looked around for her boots and other belongings but found nothing of her previous life. Even her clothes were gone and instead she wore the nostalgic heavy kimono that brought back more memories coloured by trauma than she cared to admit.
They had already found her and dressed her and washed her while she was unconscious. Orihime was overwhelmed by feelings of mortification and she rubbed her arms, trying to soften the itchy feeling prickling her skin. They had violated her, and she felt angry that everything had come to pass while she was asleep.
"Are you alright, Orihime?" Ichigo was full of concern. "You weren't brainwashed or anything while you were gone?"
"No." Orihime answered quickly. She realised that her erratic nature was doing her no favours in explaining the severity of the situation to Ichigo, so she took a minute to calm down before she continued. "I want to go back there and I want to stay in the underworld - permanently. I just wanted to explain everything to Sora so that he wouldn't worry about me and maybe even be happy for me."
"You're crazy." Ichigo ran his hand through his hair with frustration. "I don't know what they did to your head, but that guy you're so desperate to be with is a bad guy and I don't know if you've noticed, but there is a war going on and he is at the centre of it. It's not safe there with him."
"He's not a bad guy-" Orihime faltered, already distracted from the important matter at hand. "No, that doesn't matter to me what you think of him."
The princess shed as many layers of her kimono as she could while Ichigo turned his head away politely. She could not run or escape when she was so heavily bound down by all the useless fabric.
"We need to leave the capital now." She repeated.
"Orihime, he's the one that started it." Ichigo argued. "He's a bad guy and you've just been manipulated by him. He took advantage of you because you're nice and trusting."
"Don't say that about him when you don't even try to learn the truth!" Orihime yelled, tears threatening to pour out of her eyes. "I love him!"
"You don't even know him!" Ichigo shot back.
Orihime held her breath, her exasperation reaching a peak where if she did not calm herself down, she would be incapable of controlling whatever came from her lips next. Her hands were shaking and she tried to keep herself strong and stop the tears from filling her eyes.
She never wanted to cry about anything ever again.
"That may be so." Orihime agreed. "I don't know Ulquiorra very well at all, but I care about him. I think about him a lot. I want to make him happy and hear him laugh or just hear him talk. I want to know everything about him, even the things I don't like or things that upset me. I want him to look at me and I want to show him everything I am, even my ugly secrets too."
Her words sounded a lot more eloquent in her head, but she did not have the luxury to really rehearse or think things through. Regardless, her feelings were said and there was no need to explain herself anymore.
Ichigo sighed, unwilling to fight further. He didn't understand and probably never would, because he considered Ulquiorra a threat and a danger. In many ways, he was not wrong and Orihime had no doubts that if she did not love and care about Ichigo as much as she did, Ulquiorra would not hesitate to kill him as many times as he felt the need to.
Underneath the jovial exterior of the Nephilim that she had grown close to, there was a hungry and passionate destructive urge that stemmed from their natural inclinations as killers. Ulquiorra lacked killing intent, yet his capacity to kill was indiscriminate.
Orihime feared more than anything that the damage inflicted to bring her home by force would be severe even in her own realm.
If they found her in the capital, the devastation would be catastrophic.
There were so many human sacrifices that lived and served the gods in the capital and they would be the first to be cut down, like pigs to the slaughter. The gods and goddesses may come to harm but none would truly perish.
The only lives lost would be innocents if Ulquiorra happened to find her in the capital.
"How many people know I'm here?" Orihime asked, diverting her plan to damage control.
"Well – everyone." Ichigo said. "Tentei is the one that suggested you stay here in the capital where we have the most protective measures and defensive force."
Orihime palled, her figure swaying with faintness. She needed to eat something now before everything turned upside down.
Ichigo rushed to her side and Orihime gripped his arms desperately. Cold sweat pebbled on her forehead and she breathed to calm herself. She had underestimated herself and that had landed her in this impossible situation.
Orihime understood now why Ulquiorra and Nelliel were so angry with her. If she were to leave on her own terms without the help of others, she would be in control over any problems or factors that came her way. When she gave herself over to Ichigo, she effectively allowed him to decide her fate. She did not even discuss a plan or her intentions with him.
"I'm such an idiot." She whispered harshly.
"I'm glad you realise how dangerous it was down there with him." Ichigo said tenderly.
Her heart sunk and she tried her very hardest to smile. "We need to get all the humans out of the capital now."
"There is no need for that." An unfamiliar man stood at the entrance of her room, his voice calm and collected. "We have the best defensive measures in place and there is no need for you to worry about your safety or the safety of others, Orihime."
Orihime tightened her kimono and gave her most charming smile, despite the cold sweat that spread across her skin she tried to appear as presentable as possible. It was hard to describe the man at a glance but she tried her best to sum him up in three words: handsome, presentable and mature.
He had wavy brown hair and brown eyes that looked over her behind black rimmed glasses. His smile was reassuring and charming and she felt an uncanny sense of ease around him. It was almost as though she were being graced with the attentions of god himself, the transcendent feelings of deliverance and safety washing over her.
"Everyone will be safe?" Orihime murmured with uncertainty.
"Everyone will be safe." He said.
Usually her anxieties would lead to immediate doubt, but strangely enough Orihime believed him. It was hard to describe why other than some atavistic and instinctual trigger inside of her.
He was to be trusted.
"I know that we have met but I don't think we have ever properly spoken." He smiled, stepping into the room so that they were face to face. He pressed her hand firmly in his, the touch somehow cold and icy to her skin but still she warmed to him adoringly. "I am Tentei or to some of my closer associates Aizen Sosuke. I would be happy and obliged if you would call me Sosuke, my dear princess."
"So-" Orihime came close to greeting him with his first name but the image of Ulquiorra's face filled her memories and suddenly she felt as though it would betray him if she were to become so familiar. "A-Aizen - It's a pleasure to meet you."
Aizen's smile seemed much tighter than before and his grip loosened on her fingers. It was only for a split second but Orihime's intuitive nature caught the moment clearly. She had angered him and he hid it well.
For a moment, she was at a loss but he was too much of a gentleman to make her in any way uncomfortable. Within seconds he ushered in human women to fold her futon and brought a lacquered table as well as cushions.
Any doubt the princess had diminished when she saw the lovely looking human women instead of the revolting and grotesque doll figures that she despised to the core of her being. It reassured her that maybe she was dressed and washed by human women instead of the monstrous, mechanical workings of mannequins.
Food came in gradually with many meats, vegetables and rice. The dishes were designed artistically with presentation and taste in mind, which was reassuring as it meant that they were cooked with human hands instead of those of a soulless doll.
Orihime's mouth watered appreciatively and for a moment she had forgot everything except for the food laid out in front of her.
After the tables were set and the beautiful tapestried cushions were arranged on the floor, the princess expected Aizen to leave and maybe have dinner in his own private quarters or with his wives. Instead, he took a seat across from her own spot and ushered her to sit down.
Trying to be obvious enough to alert Ichigo without making Aizen uncomfortable, she moved her hand for him to take a seat beside her. Instead, he smiled half-heartedly and made his way towards the door.
"I've got some things I need to take care of but I promise I will come visit you tomorrow morning." Ichigo said.
Orihime moved to the edge of the door to say goodbye and half expected him to kiss her on the cheek, but instead he kept his distance. She understood that he was angry at her for getting so worked up and defensive and the conversation they had prior was still unfinished. Still, she hoped for some semblance of their normal friendship.
"Come sit down and dine with me, Orihime."
She did as she was asked without question.
The princess reassured herself that her overwhelming hunger had nothing to do with her compliance and she was just being rational. This man seemed friendly and there was no reason she would not be able to convince him that going to war was a terrible idea she may even be able to sort things out diplomatically.
Restraint gave out for unrelenting hunger and she forsook any form of etiquette that her teachers had taught her. The princess shovelled as many delicacies into her mouth as she could maintain without pause. Anything bite size was consumed arbitrarily and she did not care for taste although it was all very delightful.
Periodically she would slow and look up at her companion and smile as best she could with a mouth full of food.
"Don't worry about being polite, I'm sure they starved you down there and I can understand being excited for some refined food fit for your station." Aizen laughed good naturedly.
Orihime wanted to protest and tell him how very well she was treated and how incredibly kind they were, but her mouth was occupied with chewing and she did not want to risk trying both.
In her opinion the food in the underworld was better as Ulquiorra allowed her to try as many combinations of ingredients as she liked and she was particularly fond of something she called her 'Princess Course', which was berries, ham, sausages, fried tomato and egg in a waffle house flooded with maple syrup and doused in chocolate with a big scoop of ice-cream on top.
She did not know what most of the food was but it was delicious and she liked to experiment. Nelliel and Ulquiorra never once scrutinised her for weird combinations and they continued to eat her creations as though it were the most normal thing in the world, however Grimmjow was often a mixture of fascinated and disgusted.
Orihime sipped some lukewarm tea and ran her tongue over her teeth, hoping that there was not a single strand of rice or seaweed lodged somewhere visible and embarrassing. Her words needed to carry as much power as she could muster and she could not do that if her grubbiness distracted him.
"I know that it's very easy to well, demonise your adversaries…" The princess paused, hoping she still had his undivided attention. "But they are flesh and blood and carry the same moral compass as all of us. They were kind to me and I will never speak bad of them. Especially not him."
She thought her words would have more of an effect, but Aizen's easy-going smile did not falter.
"You are such a sweet girl." He cajoled, reaching over to rub her palm with his thumb. "You were fooled by them and they used you as a pawn and you have yet to realise that."
Orihime focused all her attentions on his thumb as he rhythmically rubbed her hand. His touch was so cold and motorized that she found it hard not to shrink away from him, but instead she waited for him to speak.
"You will stay here and live here with me." He said, his words a command instead of an offer. "You will be my wife and I will keep you safe from everyone and everything."
"I-I can't do that." Orihime faltered, somehow instinctually afraid of refusing him. "I'm already married and I can't be married to two people at once."
It was off-putting to be in the presence of a man so polar opposite to her husband. Aizen's words did not inspire confidence and instead withered any possibility of cultivating a shred of trust in him.
Ulquiorra did not promise her anything and never expected anything but simply tried to reassure her with his track record and actions. There was no person on earth who could genuinely assure her of that and her husband did not have the audacity or foolishness to promise such a thing and she found it frustrating that this man tried.
"Did you consummate the marriage?" Aizen asked, his hand still clasped over her palm.
"Well, no we didn't really have time to do that yet." The princess answered honestly.
"Then I will marry you and consummate my marriage with you." He responded evenly.
"I've only just met you and I don't want to do that." Orihime protested, trying to pull out of his grip.
"You had only met him when you decided to run away with him." Aizen held her harder and leaned forward, the casual smile plastered across his face betrayed by his cruel and lustful intentions. "My dear I have known and understood many women like you over the years. You like to be passed around and have your life in the palm of someone strong and assertive. You like it rough as long as they will take care of you."
Orihime was beyond offended by his obscene opinion of her and immediately searched for what she could have done or what she could have said to make him view her so harshly. She took his words to heart and wondered if behind all her efforts to improve and leave a positive impression, he was describing her true self.
It was true that her desire to push her own responsibilities onto Ichigo had landed her into this situation. It was true that her sexual appetite and fantasies that drifted through her thoughts of Ulquiorra weren't always particularly pure or wholesome. However, she did not vocalise these ideas and she definitely did not extend them to favour anyone else but him.
The princess closed her eyes before tears threatened to spill down her face and thought carefully of what Ulquiorra would say to her in this situation. She imagined looking up at him at his side, the beautiful line of his neck as he stared out and watched something in the distance and the stray flicks of hair against his cheek. Orihime pictured how his lips parted softly as he thought of what to say and how his gaze would look down at her and linger intuitively for a moment.
Slowly, she sunk deeply into her imagination until she was somewhere else entirely. The harsh grip that constricted her hand faded into nothingness until nothing of reality remained and she could spend an infinite amount of time with the man she truly loved.
"Woman." He greeted her as rudely as ever.
"Make me feel better. Tell me that I'm not as awful as he says I am." Orihime pleaded.
Ulquiorra softened and all of a sudden, she imagined him shirtless and vulnerable. It was the last time she had seen him and it was her most cherished and important memory. He lay relaxed on the bed, looking over at her with tenderness and wanting.
"Well, if you really like it rough then we're on the same wavelength." Ulquiorra answered, his deadpan tone disguising the humour and playfulness she was so well acquainted with.
If she could not allow herself to cry in lucidity, then she would entertain it only in her imagination. Orihime laughed and cried again, just as she had the night she left him.
There was so much to say but so little capacity for her mind to recreate him. There was no insight that he could singularly provide that did not lay as a dormant opinion inside her mind and she had to live with the fact that it would never truly be him guiding her.
It was painful and she missed him.
"I can't tell you what you want to hear." Ulquiorra said quietly. "I can't tell you what you're capable of."
Her laughing, crying smile became more of a grimace as she tried to keep her feelings in check.
How was it that he was so right that we are all simply a projection of how others see us?
Orihime had laughed at him at that time and told him that she wanted to be away from prying eyes and the opinions of others but she did not realise that he was speaking directly about her.
Ulquiorra sat up and stared into her very soul. His green eyes flickered in the candle light and she could see the shadow of his eyelashes fanning his cheek. She had captured the very essence of his soul and he now belonged to her for as long as she would remember him.
"You know that I'm not capable of loving another man." Orihime cried out.
"I didn't say that." He said. "I am saying that you are capable of anything."
It was the kindest thing he had ever said to her and it was simply a projected vision brought together from her imagination.
She knew at that moment that deep down if she were to accept the limitlessness of her capacity to do great good, she would also have to acknowledge her endless potential for depravity.
"Do you really think I can do anything?" Orihime whispered.
"Short of flying." Ulquiorra said, his eyes telling her all she needed to know.
…..
I hope you guys liked this chapter and I can't wait for your analysis and please, it would mean everything to me if you dropped a review even if it a short sentence or so.
I become so motivated by your thoughts and so inspired by what you have to say and whether or not you enjoy it that you really all are what carries this story on.
The next chapter may be out on the 7th of January (Saturday) depending on how well this is received but if not, expect an update on the 14th.
Thanks guys for all the support and again, I hope you have a great year!