Let's step away from the whole Tess situation and all that drama, shall we?

10. Stranded

In the Middle of Nowhere
One month before Christmas
(2004) Michael is 20, Max is 19, Liz is 18

"Transformers are way cooler!"

"They're not real!!"

"Oh and Ninja Turtles are?"

She huffed. "You know what I mean."

"No, little Lizzie. You're not making any sense."

Mike sighed. "Would you two shut up for just a second?"

Without taking his eyes off Liz, Max answered his best friend. "We're having an important discussion here."

Mike sighed again. "Important my ass."

"But Turtles are funny."

"So's your face."

Liz's head fell backwards with a loud exasperated sigh. "Would you stop that already?!"

Michael and Max were currently in this phase in their lives when every statement could be met with a 'so is your face' or 'so is your mother'. It had been slightly funny when they had started, but five months of that crap kinda took the joy out of it.

Max opened his mouth to respond when the car started to shake and slow down. Horror filtered through Max's eyes for a split second, disrupting his general cool countenance.

"What did you do?" he asked Michael, leaning in to look for any warning lights on the panel.

"I didn't do anything. It just…" The car made some odd coughing sounds until it came to a complete stop. "…died."

Liz stared at the two males occupying the front seats. She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. The expression of horror mixed with concern for his 'baby' looked really amusing on Max's face, while Michael looked really funny trying to pretend he wasn't aware of the death glares Max was sending his way.

But twenty minutes later, Liz was very close to crying.

"Whose brilliant idea was it to take this piece of junk through the desert anyway?" Liz muttered.

"Shut up," Max warned. No one called his dark blue 1968 Chevrolet Impala 'a piece of junk' and lived.

"You know, Maxie. They are building new cars now. New cars, so that you won't have to drive around in old cars-"

"Liz-" Michael warned, but it was too late.

"Would you shut up for a second?!" Max erupted, staring at her with wild eyes. Something that had Liz fascinated instead of intimidated. "You bitch and moan about the quality of my car when it would be nice if you would help us figuring out a solution!"

She shrugged. "That's easy. Since you two boneheads have both dysfunctional cell phones, we just have to sit and wait for someone to pass by."

Michael looked up from the display screen of his cell phone which was still displaying the lack of reception in this area. "How many cars have we met the last hour, Liz?"

Liz bit her lower lip. She had no idea. She had been concentrating on Max's face the whole time to see his every facial expression as they battled out another battle of wills.

Looking nonchalant, she shrugged again. "About two."

"Zero, Lizzie! No fucking cars whatsoever!"

"Hey," Max said calmly to Michael, looking at Liz oddly. "Take it down a notch, Mike."

Sure, Max had been the one screaming at Liz just a second ago, but he always screamed at Liz. Yelling was the foundation of their relationship. But Michael almost never raised his voice at his little sister and Max immediately saw the hurt creep into Liz's eyes at Michael's voice level.

"Okay, fine," she bit out and turned her back to them so they couldn't see her expression.

But she had a feeling Max already had. Even though they went on each other's nerves most of the time, Max was the closest thing she had to a best friend. He seemed to be able to read her and tell what was wrong before she had even realized there was something wrong. It was unnerving at the best of times, but at least she knew that he would always be there. Even though it might be to pull her hair or just piss her off in general, he would be there.

Max wanted to step up to her and check so that she was okay, but Michael interrupted him. "What are we gonna do, Maxwell?"

Max looked down at his own dead phone, silently cursing himself for not charging it that morning, and sighed. "Maybe we just have to wait, like Lizzie said."

"Oh now she has a point," Liz grumbled softly from side of the road where she had sat down.

The corners of Max's mouth twitched as Michael glared at her.

"Or maybe I should walk around and see if I can get reception anywhere," Michael said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, do that," Liz said sarcastically, as if it was the most ridiculous idea on the planet.

Michael stared at his two years younger sister and opened his mouth to possibly snap at her again when Max intercepted.

"Seems like a good enough idea."

Liz scoffed. "Good idea? There's probably as little reception hundred feet away as it is two miles away. In case you two haven't noticed, we're in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"Liz, you're not helping," Max said evenly.

They were all tightly wound and this was Liz's classic response to frustration. Michael losing control over his feelings was also a classic sign of frustration and the two of them together right now equaled disaster.

"Okay, fine. Do your thing. How far are you gonna walk anyway?"

"I'll walk along the road until I get reception or find a town, whatever comes first."

Concern flickered across Liz's face. "Do you really want to do this, Mike? Who knows what might be out there? You might be bitten by a snake and lay there dying without anyone knowing."

His facial expression softened at her worried tone. "That won't happen, Lizzie. I'll be careful, 'k?"

Unconvinced, she regarded him carefully for another second before reluctantly agreeing. "Okay."

Michael walked up to her and ruffled her hair, smiling at her lovingly. "See you later, squirt."

Michael turned to Max and managed to keep a straight face as he told him, "Don't kill her, okay. I like my sister. Most of the time."

In the background Liz rolled her eyes. Because all three of them knew that Max would protect her with his life if it came down to it.

"As long as she doesn't piss me off," Max said.

Michael sighed with pretended worry on his face. "Seriously? That is synonymous to signing her death sentence."

"Fuck you," Liz said, to no one in particular.

Max and Michael both shook their heads at each other, donning their most parental expressions.

"Wherever did she pick up that language?" Max murmured.

Michael shrugged. "How the fuck do I know?"

Max grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. "Penelope and I are counting on you, man."

"Hey!" Liz cried out at the blatant disregard for her as Max obviously only has his car on his mind.

Michael smirked knowingly at Max and nodded. "Don't stress. I've got it under control."

And with that, Michael was off, headed for the longest walk of his life. For a guy who was generally too lazy to get up from the couch to open the door for the pizza delivery guy, that was saying a lot.

--

Twenty minutes later

"She was a whore anyway."

"That's really not a very nice thing to say, Shorty. She's a person, you know."

"Not like she can hear me," Liz shrugged. "Probably wouldn't even understand what I'm saying if she was standing close to me."

"Yeah," Max said seriously, dragging the stick around in the sand next to his folded leg. "You do tend to mumble."

"I do not mumble," Liz objected.

Max smiled, something Liz missed out on due to the fact that she was laying down in the stubble behind him, his back towards her.

"Yes, you do."

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do no- You're an asshole."

Max rolled his eyes. "Very mature, Lizzie. How old are you again?"

"None of your business."

Before Max could comment on her illogic, Liz called out, "Oh my God!"

Her exclamation made Max look at her in alarm. "What's wrong?"

Liz was already scrambling to her feet, excitement drowning her features. "There's a cow!"

Max frowned. "There's a cow?"

Liz laughed. "Yes, stupid. Over there!"

Max followed the line of Liz's pointed finger and yes, there was a cow. Across the street. Staring at them.

Before Max had a chance to react, Liz was running across the street and was climbing into the paddock.

"Wait, Liz!" Max yelled, jumping up from his seated position to follow her.

She was already patting the cow as Max climbed into the paddock.

"Hello, baby," she cooed, pressing her cheek up against the ruminant.

Max watched with an amused expression. "'Baby'? You know that she's like ten times your weight, right?"

Liz ignored him. "Isn't she adorable?"

Max refrained from snorting. "Yeah… Cute as a button."

"I want a cow."

Max laughed. "Kitten, what are you gonna do with a cow?"

"Milk it of course. Just imagine getting fresh milk every morning."

"Do you know that they have to have calves regularly to keep producing milk? Where are you gonna put all the calves? In your roof-top garden in New York?"

"That's not true. Those women in Africa continue to breast-feed until their kids are like six…"

"That's just gross-"

"They continue to produce milk because there's constant suction." She blushed as the words left her mouth. God, did she just say that?

Max had to fight not to laugh at the way her face turned red. "Suction, huh?"

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not really sure, Parker. Please explain."

"Shut up. You're such a guy."

"Thank you for confirming that. I wasn't really sure this morning in the shower."

Liz scrunched up her face. "Eww. Mental image."

Max stepped up close to her. "I bet I'm hot as hell in that mental image."

"Stop it. There's a cow here. You don't talk about things like that in front of a cow."

"I'm sure it won't bother her. Maybe it will up her milk production."

Liz looked at him disgusted. "I can't believe I never fully realized how gross you really are. You're possibly worse than Mike."

Max looked offended. "Not possible."

Liz gave him a lopsided smile. "Yeah, you're right." She patted the cow in silence, her thoughts miles away. "Nothing's gonna happen to him, right?"

Max's heart skipped a beat as he looked down into her worried eyes, but he quickly pushed the feelings to the side. Like he always did. "No, squirt. He's a big guy. He can take care of himself. Maybe he can finally use that knowledge he's acquired from watching all those ninja movies."

Liz snorted, but Max could see her relax somewhat. "Yeah, right. Have you ever seen him practicing that stuff? He looks like an idiot."

Max grinned. "Had the misfortune of walking in on him once…"

"He's such a nerd."

"Guess it runs in the family."

"Ha. Funny."

Turning her gaze upon the cow once again a thoughtful expression fell across her face. Before Max had a chance to ask her what was on her mind, she asked, "Have you ever ridden a cow?"

He stared at her dubiously, wondering if his ears were deceiving him. But he should know better when it came to Liz. Anything could come out of that mouth.

"Can't say that I have," he answered.

"We should do it," Liz said with eyes glittering with excitement.

He raised an eyebrow. "You want to ride the cow?"

She turned to him with a large grin. "Yes."

"No no," Max said, "Let me rephrase that. You want to sit – on top of the cow – and ride it?"

"Yes," Liz repeated, the slightest hint of impatience creeping into her voice. "What's the matter, Maxie? Chicken?"

He snickered, shaking his head in amusement. "You're on Parker."

Liz looked at the cow. "She seems nice enough, right?"

Max shrugged, "I guess," while he was smiling on the inside. This was going to be fun. Liz was already chickening out.

"Could you help me up?" Liz asked.

Max grinned. "My pleasure."

Her eyes narrowed at the sight of his grin. "No funny business."

He saluted. "No m'am."

"Funny."

"I try."

"Whatever."

"You want my help or not?"

"I'm waiting for you."

Max sighed, "Okay," and laced his fingers together to form a step that she could put her foot into.

She grabbed his shoulders and pushed herself upwards with one foot in his hands. Just as she turned to lean into the cow, the cow moved. This caused her to lose her balance and she fell over with a small shriek, almost pulling Max over as well.

The sight of Liz scrambling to regain a more respectable position than the one she had fallen into had Max laughing.

And then the cow decided to investigate what all the fuss was about and leaned around, stretching her long neck out so that she could nuzzle the human on the ground.

"Ugh," Liz said, slightly disgusted but mostly scared by the large head coming her way.

This only made Max laugh even harder. He was having troubles to remaining on his feet.

Then the cow open its mouth, letting some grassy saliva run out along its long tongue.

"Max!" Liz shrieked, afraid that the cow was going to eat her. "Help!"

But Max was now sitting down in the grass, still laughing hard, not making a single attempt to help Liz out. Besides, it was not like the cow would have Liz for lunch.

The saliva dropped in a big splash on her forehead and she curled into a ball, whining, "Ew ew ew ew. Cow drool. It's on my face. Get it off."

Max wiped a tear out of his eye before grabbing her foot and pulling her away from the cow.

She sat up, frantically trying to clean her forehead with the sleeve of her shirt. Which was difficult since she was wearing a T-shirt.

"Ugh, gross gross gross."

"Do you have any idea how funny you look?" Max laughed which stopped Liz in the midst of her wiping and she sent a death glare in his direction.

Gathering as much strength as she could, she kicked the shin of his leg.

"Hey!"

"Why didn't you help me?" she asked, still glaring at him.

Max rubbed his leg, the temporary look of pain quickly disappearing from his face only to be replaced by previous merriment.

"You looked like you had it under control."

Liz's face darkened and she bit out, "I hate you."

"I hate you too," Max cooed and quickly pulled his upper body backwards as Liz's hand came flying through the air intent on hitting him.

There was a few seconds of stillness as Liz and Max stared at each other in silent battle of the wills. Then, as if running by the same alarm clock, they simultaneously attempted to get up from their seated position. Before Liz could get a hold of Max, he was off, running down the meadow.

Liz ran as fast as she could, but even though she had always been fast, her short legs proved to be at her disadvantage.

"Ow," Max heard behind him and while still running, he shot a glance over his shoulder to see Liz falling in the grass.

He slowed down and slowly turned. "You okay, Parker?"

"I think I...ow," Liz rubbed her ankle, "I think I sprained my ankle."

Max hesitated before carefully starting to walk towards her. "Can you feel your toes?"

"Yes," Liz moaned in pain. "But it fucking hurts."

"Okay," Max said, cautiously stepping up to her fully aware that she might be tricking him.

She looked up at him with large glistening eyes. "I don't think I can walk."

Pushing his suspicions to the side, Max fell to his knees next to her, intending to examine her foot when she lunged at him, causing them to fall backwards in the grass.

Before Max had the chance to comprehend what was happening, Liz was rubbing her face against his, efficiently spreading whatever cow saliva she had left on her face onto his face.

"Aaaah, Parker!"

She laughed and pulled back before he could grab onto her.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that," Max threatened as she scrambled backwards on the heels of her hands to try and get as far away from him as possible before attempting to rise.

She didn't get very far.

Max trapped her underneath his body, smiling down at her as she realized her defeat. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut short by Michael's voice floating across the meadow.

"Hey dorks! Killing time is over!"

Without even looking into the direction of the voice, Max pulled away from Liz with such speed that one might think she had been on fire.

"I managed to establish contact with civilization!" Michael's voice announced.

Max reached out a hand for Liz, which she took with a small smile, and pulled her to her feet.

"Good acting," Max said, referring to her foot.

"Thanks," Liz said, but stumbled as she started walking.

Max frowned. "You alright?"

"Uhm," Liz said, "This will sound stupid, but I actually did sprain my foot."

Max rolled his eyes, "You idiot," and leaned in and folded a supporting arm around her waist.

He stilled and looked at her face suspiciously as a mischievous smile spread across her features. "Got you again."

He let go off her waist and sighed. "Funny. You're a funny girl, Parker."

Liz smiled proudly and ran off – on her completely healthy feet – to greet her brother. Max stood back and watched her with a smile on his face. She sure was something.

"Come on, Evans, let's see if we can resuscitate that loser car of yours!"

Max's smile tumbled off his face. He hated that girl.

TBC...