Chapter 11: S.E.X.

S is for the simplety

E is for the ecstasy

X is just to mark the spot

S.E.X., Nickelback

Day 32

After the run: Well. It's Dick, Babs, and Zee time… all at the same time. This is going to be a slight disaster. Poor Wally doesn't know what he's walking into.

"You're here, you whore, you!" is what Zatanna exclaims as soon as Artemis and Wally walked in the door of the restaurant.

Now, for all of you that don't know, this is a very fancy restaurant, and if someone were to shout WHORE at the top of his or her lungs in it, naturally everyone would stop and stare. Which is exactly what everyone did.

After shooting the stalkers her favorite hostile look (and shooting a special angry look at Zatanna), she smiled and hugged her lunatic friend.

"I think you're confusing me with yourself. Who is it you brought to accompany with you this time?" Artemis asked her as Wally greeted everyone at the table.

Zatanna's date of the choice was a gorgeous Italian looking man with pearly white teeth. He looked kind of scared. Artemis didn't blame him.

"This is Pablo. Pablo, meet Artemis. She's the one that just got laid for the first time in who knows how much."

Wally smirked while Artemis resisted the urge to hit her friend.

"Some people would consider these sort of things kind of private, you know," Artemis pointed out while she sat next to Wally around the wooden rectangle table.

"Huh. Never would've guessed it," Zatanna replied playfully, and Artemis just rolled her eyes and decided to give up.

The meal had been going unusually well. Around the time they brought the actual food was when Artemis realized this, and knew that something was terribly wrong. Dick was being too quiet.

Soon, oh so very soon, he would bring out the big guns.

And right she was.

They started conversing normally, everyone in the table, finally including Dick. Artemis was starting to relax when…

"So we were trying to make the cereal fit inside the cupboard, and while Wally was putting it in-" Artemis was saying.

"Artemis! This is not a topic to discuss while we are eating!" Dick said in mock outrage.

Artemis wondered what the hell he was talking about while everyone laughed, including Wally. At last she figured it out, and she kicked Dick not so subtly under the table while trying to avoid blushing.

"I should have known," she said with narrowed eyes.

"The best for last, Artemis," Dick said with a wink.

"Oooooh, this is gonna be fun," Zatanna said with a sparkle in her eye, and Barbara and she exchanged mischievous smiles.

"Wally, we're in for the ride of our lives," Artemis murmured to him.

Unfortunately, Dick heard.

"I thought the ride of your lives was last night," he said in a seemingly innocent tone.

Artemis actually face-palmed this time because she had walked right into this one.

The big fiasco came with dessert.

Artemis had ordered an English muffin that was apparently what the restaurant was well known for. The waiter brought it to her very quickly, before anyone else's order. Along came some butter and a knife.

"Would you like some butter on your muffin, miss?" the waiter asked in the way he was instructed to.

Before Artemis could reply, Dick muttered under his breath, "I'll bet Wally wants to butter Artemis's muffin."

The waiter had obviously heard, because his eyes grew the size of saucers and Artemis abruptly stood up, grabbing the muffin from the plate the waiter was offering her.

"That is it," she growled, and in one swift move she threw the muffin directly towards Dick's face.

It would've hit him, too, if the little ass hadn't been as quick as a ninja and moved out of the way. Instead, it fell on poor unsuspecting Barbara's cleavage.

On Dick's look towards the muffin, everyone in the table knew there was going to be trouble.

"I can clean that up if you want," he said with a very serious poker face.

Barbara's face seemed to change colors.

This was definitely the highlight of the night: Barbara grabbed the muffin and stuffed it whole into Dick's mouth.

The whole restaurant seemed to gasp, but Barbara wasn't done.

"This is the only muffin you're getting tonight, if you know what I mean," she said with a smirk on her mouth.

Artemis tried to stay serious while pulling Wally to his feet. She scooted around the motionless waiter and told him, "The choking and shunned man should cover the whole bill. And leave a generous tip. Thanks for the food, it was great."

With a small wave towards her friends (the only shocked one was that Pedro or whatever his name was guy, Z's date. And of course, Dick, who was rapidly turning purple) and semi-ran towards the exit with Wally in tow.

She actually made it out the restaurant door before crumbling into a fit of laughter, and Wally soon joined in.

After a few minutes to regain their breaths, Wally finally spoke.

"I love your friends, babe."

I am so, so, so, so sorry. For several things. First of all, I am super sorry for the enormous delay in posting this chapter. I was lacking inspiration. Weirdly enough, it came to me while I was at church today (I'm sorry God) and so I could finally finish the chapter. Second of all, I know this isn't my best work but maybe this chapter was the big UGH in the story because now I'm back to having ideas about the other chapters. Thirdly, this chappie is so short after all I made you guys wait D: Oh crud, I'm reaaaaaally sorry. I hope you guys aren't too disappointed or discouraged and will continue the story with me. I suspect the story only has two or three chapters left to it, so stay with it 'till the end, will ya? :)

Review!