And I finished it! :) :) :)

I do not own The Clone Wars, Disney dose ... what a shame.

I smile at I eat my food in the mess hall. I have been out the medbay for two days much to my relief. I'm still somewhat sore, but Fixr has helped with that. I try hard to listen to Fives as he continues explaining the finer points of using and maintaining a blaster pistol. Considering the accident that happened recently, it was decided that I should learn what I could about fighting.

I rub at the place where one of the larger scars on my side is.

The scars weren't the only thing I had been left with. There were the nightmares too, and they faithfully plagued me every night. The sound of a throat being cleared brings me back from the dark thoughts my mind was drifting toward. I blush in embarrassment, but Fives sounds concerned rather than frustrated as he says, "The nightmare were worse late night, weren't they?" I smile weakly as I said, "They weren't worse ... there was three of them. In a row. I usually only have one, or maybe two if they're a few hours apart."

Fives squeezes my shoulder as he says, "I don't like saying this, but experience has taught me that the nightmares are going to be permanent." I nod my head lightly at the statement. After I woke up in the infirmary, I had found that Fives and I actually got along rather well and formed a quick friendship.

Before I could respond to the statement, a pair of hands cover my eyes and a voice teases, "Guess who?" I laugh and and cross my arms in mock seriousness as I say, "I should never have told you about that game, Fixr." Fixr and Fives laugh, and Fixr sits by my other side. Turning back to my mostly forgotten meal, I take a sip of the liquid in the cup and find myself saying in pleased surprise, "I didn't know they were serving peppermint tea."

Fixr nods as he explains, "Apparently GAR officials found out about some of health benefits and decided that it was worth cultivating for long term use."

I nod as I take a sip from the cup and add, "It certainly will make eating the rations easier." Fixr nodded in agreement as we set to eating the almost painfully bland rations. We've only been eating for a minute when Romeo come in and shares a greeting before sitting to my left, right between Fives and me.

My first day back from the battlefield is always a welcome relief. After days of shooting droids, a simple meal of rations is almost calming. And considering how the yesterdays rations were lost, food is a high priority at the moment.

However, when I catch Juliet and Romeo, I briefly forget about all that as my mind spirals back a week to the landing bay.

Juliet's last words, 'Try to stay safe, Okay?' start repeating themselves over and over like they had during the week. I had been told things along the line of 'be careful' by superiors about difficult mission, but no one ever mention the word 'safe'. Therefore, it was quite a surprise to hear her telling me to stay safe. It was something you told people you care about. And while she might not have looked directly at me while she said it, both her expression and voice suggested concern.

And that was the confusing part. A few minutes earlier we had argued like usual, I had purposefully incited a reaction as usual. But then she had said those words. How was I supposed to respond to that?

This was one of the few things my training didn't cover, and it was not a good feeling.

As I consider how to go about the issue I find myself noticing how close Romeo is to Juliet. He is sitting within inches of her, and his arm is wrapped rather loosely around her shoulders. I know from having seen it before that it was normal, yet it somehow looks like an awkward sort of gesture. A moment later, Rome presses a brief kiss kiss to her cheek. Juliet smiles and blushes like she always does when that happens, but it's my reaction that the interesting one.

I immediately have a almost sick feeling in my stomach, and I know I'm in perfect health. I promptly tell myself that it's because Rome deserves a better girlfriend because the alternative is being confused by it. I know that it's a lie though, and anyone would know that.

I decide to leave my reaction to what Juliet said for later consider how more tangled my thoughts seem to be getting. Instead, I call over to Romeo and gesture for him to join me. He nods and presses a kiss against Juliet's lips (again, bringing about the almost sick feeling) before he stands and walks over to sit at the table where I had set my tray of food. I allow myself a brief moment to puzzle over when I had gotten it before I say, "I haven't seen you in a while." Romeo nodded as he said, "Yeah, they've been trying to find a place for me to work on the ship. It was easier for Juliet, they have her playing the harp in the sick bay."

I nod as I try to understand why before I ask instead, "How did you meet Juliet? You never said how. "Romeo grins and responds, "It was about two years ago, Jules was the new kid and I was asked to show her around because we had all but the last class together. She had just run away from the orphanage at the time."

One of my eyebrows rise as I ask the simple question, "Why?" Romeo's mouth twitches briefly before he answers, "Because a lot of the kids would bully her at the time. They'd use any reason they could to put her down including the nervous talking thing. Actually, that came later. When she came, she said almost nuthin'. Thought that we'd tease her for opening her mouth it seemed."

Romeo looks over at Juliet as he ads, "I should head over there, I think Jules was goin' to tell me something important." I nod and focus on my still full plate as Romeo makes his way back. I had know that Juliet had been in an orphanage, but I never though of why she wasn't in one before. I hadn't thought about why she had been shy, hadn't cared either.

But now that I understand everything a bit more, I can't help but wonder if I really 'hate' her as much as I keep telling myself.

I smile happily as Romeo sits next to me again. Both Fixr and Fives had left for their respective jobs while I finished eating. Romeo picks up a ration to eat before saying, "You were about to tell me what happened last week?" I nod and explain, "Shortly after I got on the gunship headed for the base, there was an accident and I ... fell out of the gunship. Thankfully I landed in another one, but they were headed for the battlefield so I went as well. I was able to help fight the droids for a while until a ... special droid blew up and I was hit with some of the shrapnel."

I take in a shaky breath then sip at my tea allowing myself to savor the taste.

Romeo stares at me for a while and I feel uncomfortable before he says, "You sounded strange when you said that. It kind of reminds me of how the clones say stuff." I blink for a minute before I say, "I guess because I just needed to get it out of me. Saying that, it felt uncomfortable because I was picturing it as I said it. I don't need long sentences to describe it when I see it every night."

Romeo holds up his hands and says, "I meant no offense, Jules. I was just making a point. I understand that it might be painful, what you went though." I smile and brushed of my disappointment at his wording.

I suppose that was just seeking pity by telling Romeo what had happened, so I try to tell myself that my disappointment is unnecessary.

After a moment, Romeo asks aloud, "What's with that new guy though. He's been rather close to you recently." I blink in surprise as I say, "Fives? He is just a good friend. A kindred spirit I suppose. He was the leader of the men who protected me a week ago." Romeo nodded as he said, "I get it. Just watch yourself though. It would be terrible if some guy misunderstood your kindness for ... something else."

A blush sweeps across my cheeks as I admit, "I hadn't thought about that. I'm sorry, I'll be more clear in my actions now." I lean over and press my lips briefly against his in a chaste kiss much to Romeo's apparent joy. I smile at him and kiss him again, but inside I can't help but feel concerned. Had I been leading Fives or Fixr on in my actions? Was I allowing myself to bask in my misery in search of pity?

The questions swirl around uneasily in my mind as I promise myself that I'd be more careful from now on. I couldn't go around acting like some sort of ... floozy attracting the wrong kind of attention to myself when I had a loyal boyfriend. I feel a dull inside of me a picture Christophsis flickers before my eyes. I want to talk about what happened, but now is not a good time. I shove the ache deep into myself, trying to get rid of it. But it won't go, so I try to ignore it as I go back to my plate.

Well ... Romeo's reaction was rather ... Interesting ... huh? There's more to come! If not soon than later.

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