"I have no idea how you two stay sane," Diggle commented as he sat down on the couch next to Oliver, across from where Felicity and Ray sat with Liv happily looking through her book.
"What were they doing?" Ray asked.
Felicity ran her fingers through Liv's blonde ringlets as she sat there. There was something comforting about sitting there on the couch with Ray and Liv between them and knowing that the girls were all under the same roof. Maybe it was just because she knew that they were all safe.
"It's just how they manage to get something even when you're determined not to give it to them," John vaguely explained.
"They have a super power," Ray said. He sounded like it was some huge secret and it only made her smile more. "They can get people to do whatever they want."
"They wanted to go to the bookstore and they haven't gotten their way with that," Oliver pointed out.
"Yet," Felicity added with a bigger smile.
"I might be more susceptible to their powers," Ray admitted. He looked to Diggle. "Right? How can you deny them?"
"They ARE convincing," Diggle commented. "I suppose if they were using their powers for something other than wanting to hear Arrow stories or trips to the bookstore, we'd consider them manipulative."
Spoiling the girls was something that definitely happened, but she and Ray always strived to keep them from being people of privilege (well, at least the stereotype of it) that expected to skate through life and to be waited on as well as getting everything they wanted without doing any work for it. Alex, Clara, and Etta all worked hard in school (their grades and the praise of their teachers told that story), they kept their rooms neat and they never argued about folding or putting clothes away. The one who had had the hardest time adjusting had been Alex, which was mainly because she didn't like to ask for things that weren't necessary.
"They're good kids," Diggle said. "And seriously…they have grown SO much since I saw them last." He paused for a moment. "And I'm not just talking their heights. They make me feel like I need to google their conversations and some of their word choices."
"Mama," Liv said and pointed to a picture in her book. "Max scare puppy."
"You are correct," Felicity told her youngest as she pulled her closer. "What did Max say?"
"Rawr!" Liv answered before giggling.
Felicity smiled. "But is Max scary?"
"Max so silly!"
"We need to discuss the agenda for the day," Ray brought up a few minutes later.
Felicity looked over at him, a bit confused. There were people out there that wanted to kill them. All six of them. They were all targets. All of them. "The girls want to go to the bookstore, but I'll talk to them—"
"We can't just hide here until these terrorists are found," Ray said. "It was one thing when we were going to Geneva—"
"It's nice this time of year," John spoke up.
"Right? It was going to be a great trip—"
"What's stopping you from going now?" Oliver asked.
Ray looked at her and she immediately understood. He was doing this for HER. "So…we ALL go," Felicity told her husband firmly before placing a kiss on Liv's head. If they just left like they'd planned, it was likely that Oliver would disappear and she wouldn't have this time with him or Diggle.
"Look, we can think about that, but I need to go into the office—"
"To make an appearance?" she asked. Felicity realized that if it had gotten out that the Palmer family had been targeted then they needed to be seen in public. Right now, it was probably good enough that they only saw Ray. Later, they'd expect the rest of them. It was important to show them as strong, but also to keep stock prices up as well as likely keeping the city from spiraling into some kind of panic.
"I was hoping that that maybe we could ALL get out of the house, even if it's for a few minutes," Ray said. "I think we have enough people who could act as bodyguards, but if I need to have officers assigned…we can go that route."
It was true. It had been a couple of days and the girls were starting to suffer from cabin fever. Plus, her mother was pushing her buttons a bit more than normal. Felicity had just chalked that up to all of the shocks that had hit all of them in combination with so many people being in the penthouse. It wasn't a big place to have ten people in.
"I don't think we really need to go THAT far," Diggle said.
"Public places TEND to help," Quentin said as he approached. He'd obviously heard everything.
"Where's Donna?" Ray asked.
"She's having two of my officers help her carry up her bags," Quentin explained.
"But you don't have any bags," Ray pointed out slowly as he motioned to Quentin.
"I'm the police captain," Quentin reminded. "I have people to do that for me."
Felicity just smiled and shook her head. She was a little worried at what her mother could have possibly purchased that would require people to help carry them up to the penthouse. "You and my mother don't happen to have any happy news to share with the rest of us, do you?" They really didn't know how long exactly her mother and Quentin had been dating, but they were both so happy. When they were together.
"What are you talking about?"
They all just stared at him.
"What? If you kids have something to say, then SAY it," Quentin told them. "No need to beat around the bush."
"How serious ARE you and Donna?" Ray bravely asked.
"That's a bit personal—"
"Just was wondering if I'm going to be able to call you Dad," Ray teased.
"I'll show you where you can put those," Donna said as she led the poor officers who were laden down with far too many bags into the penthouse.
Felicity groaned. "Liv, Baby…you've got to sit with Daddy while I go check on Nan," Felicity told the little one as she moved Liv to Ray's lap.
"Daddy tell Arrow stories?" Liv asked as she looked up at her father.
"How about ATOM?" Ray suggested, Felicity didn't miss the big happy and far too excited Ray put on for Liv. He was going to be disappointed.
"No!" Liv said sharply and a bit irritated. "Arrow!"
Ray sighed and pouted a bit. "Mommy does Arrow stories better than I do."
Felicity just smiled as she moved away from the couch and moved to follow the direction her mother had led the officers. She didn't miss the amused looks on Oliver and Diggle's faces.
"I know," Liv said seriously.
"How about when the ATOM worked with the Arrow?"
"No ATOM!" Liv told him. "Arrow! Pash!"
"Mommy knows the Flash stories better, too," Ray half complained.
Felicity wished that she could continue to listen, but she needed to see what her mother was up to.
"How about I tell you an Arrow story?" Oliver spoke up.
It was likely that Liv would be excited at that idea. It did, however, make Felicity a little sad that she would be missing Oliver tell an Arrow story. Sucking in breath, the officers left the bedroom as she entered. The bed was completely covered in fancy shopping bags, the kind that had ribbon for handles, which made her all the more nervous. It looked like her mother was sticking around at their place or she was just downright set on spoiling the girls. Either way, Felicity wasn't exactly thrilled. There were reasons why they didn't have a guest room.
Donna Smoak was the first reason.
It wasn't that she didn't love her mother. She did. They all loved her mother, but sometimes she was too loud, too intense, and overstepped bounds. They always made sure that she stayed at the nicest hotel in Star City (which was close enough to walk from) and that if she needed a driver on call, then they'd arrange that as well. "What are you doing, Mom?" she asked as she closed the door behind her. In case things got loud, she didn't want the girls to overhear.
Donna turned to her. She was dressed nicely, her mother dressed less like Las Vegas (at least when she was in Star City) since Felicity and Ray had gotten married. Donna had her hair down and curled all too perfectly, framing her naturally made up face. She had on an ivory sleeveless dress with a high swooping neckline that dropped to her knees. The dress was splashed with brightly colored coral poppies, blue and green leaves helped to stretch the colors to the neckline and almost down to the hem. The loud colors echoed her personality perfect, without being distasteful. There was such happiness in her face, Felicity just hoped that she wasn't going to make her cross.
"What do you mean, Sweetie?"
Sucking in a breath, Felicity approached her mother and motioned to all the bags on the bed. "You did a lot of shopping…"
"Oh," Donna said as she looked from Felicity to the bed full of bags and then back to her daughter. "I guess I can't hide that."
"Why would you hide it?" she questioned. "You have TWO police officers help you get all of these up here… Mom, what's going on?" Felicity asked worriedly.
"So, Liv will be three this year," Donna said slowly.
"Oh-kay," Felicity dragged. She still didn't understand what was going on and hoped that her mother told her fast. It wasn't like it was Liv's birthday for months still. So, she didn't think it was early birthday presents. Felicity was starting to develop a headache.
Donna pulled out a piece of clothing from one of the bags, she held it up and screaming rather loudly and bounced in delight. It was a newborn size blue onesie that said 'My Dad is my Hero'. "Isn't it the most ADORABLE thing you've EVER seen?!" Donna enthused.
"What…is…that?"
Donna looked at the onesie and then back to Felicity. Her smile dropped and her face filled with concern. "I know it's been a while—"
"Who is it FOR, Mom?"
She already knew the answer.
"For YOU, Silly!" Donna told her.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she breathed and asked silently for strength to hold onto her sanity. Felicity looked at her mother again. "Mom, I'm not pregnant…and even IF I WERE, why are you assuming it would be a boy?"
Donna set the blue onesie down and seemed to think about that for a moment. "Well, I know there's a fifty-fifty chance it's a boy." She shrugged and was quiet for a moment. "But don't worry," Donna said and started to go through the bags again. She pulled out a tiny and rather girly, poufy, pink dress complete with large bow headband that matched. "I shopped for a girl, too." Donna lit up and a gasp escaped her. "Oh my God! What about twins?! A boy AND a girl?!"
"Mom! I'm NOT pregnant," Felicity insisted.
"Well, it takes time for conception and all that…"
It felt like her head was going to keep spinning with her mother's inability to tell her exactly what she was thinking. Felicity and Ray had talked about maybe having another child, but it just hadn't happened. It had just always felt like that was perfect how it was and Felicity hadn't felt any burning desire to have another baby (at least not at that very moment).
They had time.
She was only thirty.
Plenty of time.
"You and Ray," Donna said.
Felicity bit her bottom lip for a moment. "Mom, we aren't trying—"
"Oh! Don't LIE!" Donna said quickly. "I heard you two—"
"What?! You heard?!"
Donna shrugged. "I might have had my ear pressed against the door," she said as innocently as she could. "Quentin told me I shouldn't, but—"
"Mom!" Felicity shouted, not caring how loud she was. To be angry or embarrassed, Felicity really didn't know which emotion to go with. Both honestly seemed warranted.
"What?"
"WHY would you DO that?"
Donna set down the dress and approached her. Her hands were motioning for Felicity to calm down. "Felicity, just take a breath. Stress isn't good for the babies."
She had to be adopted.
"Mom," Felicity said slowly. "I'm not pregnant."
"But I NEED more grandchildren," Donna practically pleaded.
"You're not going to pressure me into getting pregnant, Mom," Felicity told her calmly. "You have FOUR lovely granddaughters RIGHT NOW that you can love and spoil."
"Felicity…if it's because Ray—"
"Stop! Stop right there!" Felicity told her mother as she pointed at her. "This doesn't have anything to do with YOU, at least as far as the decision to have one. It's between Ray and I. That's all. WE will make the decision, NOT you."
"I'm just trying to be supportive, Felicity," Donna told her. "I mean, I don't get to see you as much as I would like and I just was excited," Donna confessed. "You and Ray are such AMAZING parents." She paused for a moment. "I know that I wasn't the BEST mom to you growing up—"
Guilt immediately hit her. Her mother might not be college educated, but if a degree in guilt were available then her mother would have a PhD in it. "Mom—"
"No," Donna said quickly. "I'm serious. Alex, Clara, and Etta might not be either of yours biologically, but you two have done such a good job with them. All FOUR of the girls are so smart and happy. You and Ray get them and I know it wasn't like that for us."
"Mom—"
"I'll take it all back," Donna promised with a slight sigh. She looked at the bags and it seemed like that decision nearly broke her heart. "Is it okay if I do it tomorrow?"
Felicity could hear the sadness in her mother's voice and couldn't help what came out of her mouth next. "Mom," she hesitated only for a moment. "No. Keep them." She let out a sigh. Felicity had a feeling that she might regret this later. "I bet whatever you bought will never go out of style."
"Really?"
Felicity nodded, still honestly not sure. She just couldn't bring herself to crush her mother like that. "But do me a favor?"
"Anything for my precious girl!" Donna exclaimed as she threw her arms around her daughter and squeezed her tightly.
"Just…don't bring the whole baby thing up to Ray, okay?"
Donna pulled back, holding onto Felicity's upper arms. Her face got really serious all of the sudden. "Wait…his swimmers…they're…swimming, right?" Her jaw dropped. Did her mother just say that? God, she suddenly missed how quiet her home was. Felicity really wasn't sure how she would stay sane if her mother DID move to Star City to be with Quentin and had the opportunity to see her on a daily basis.
"You know what I mean by swimmers," Donna asked. "Right? Because I'm talking about Ray's sperm—"
"Stop! Oh my God, please! PLEASE! Stop!"
"What? I'm concerned," Donna told her. "Can't a mother be concerned?"
"Ray and his sperm and all of him…it's all good…I promise," Felicity tried to assure. "I appreciate your concern, but—"
"Have YOU been looked at?"
Sighing, Felicity suddenly felt like Ray's talk of getting out of the house suddenly didn't seem so crazy. "Mom, Ray AND I are both healthy and quite capable of giving you more grandchildren WHEN the time is right."
"Liv's going to be three soon enough," Donna reminded. "Plus, nine months…she'll practically be FOUR!"
"Okay, Mom," Felicity said with all the strength and calm she could muster. "If I promise to talk to Ray about possibly having another baby, can we end this conversation?" They were obviously about to go in another circle and Felicity just didn't think she could handle that.
"You promise, right?"
"I promise."
Donna squealed again.
It took them a while, but eventually they stuff all of the bags away into the closet. Felicity just hoped that no one went looking in the closet. She just didn't need all the questions. It wasn't just questions, though, Felicity also was concerned with how Alex might take the thought of another baby.
"I mean it, Mom," Felicity reminded. "You can't say anything."
"I know," Donna replied with a sigh. "Quentin tried to talk me out of it, but I just couldn't help it…you've just been SO happy and you're such a good mom."
Felicity wrapped an arm around her mother and they headed out of the bedroom. They made their way back to the living room to find Oliver still telling his Arrow story. They stopped and Felicity couldn't help but to stop and enjoy it.
"For that Christmas, the Flash gave the Arrow a present," Oliver said. "The Flash made the Arrow a special mask to protect his identity."
"Arrow better than Pash," Liv spoke up.
Oliver smirked. "Not sure the Flash would agree with you."
"Pash run fast."
"Like lightning."
"Light-ing?"
Felicity smiled at the memory. She remembered that Christmas. That was the same night that Barry was struck by lightning, the day he was changed. That mask, though, it had taken her some time to get used to, but it had been perfect. He really had looked like a hero.
He was still a hero.
"I need to go into the office," Ray said as he got to his feet. "But don't worry…we figured things out." Ray crossed the room to where Felicity was standing and put his hands on her upper arms. He looked right at her, brown meeting her blue. "John is going to go into Palmer Tech with me. He'll go over our security and then we need to head over to ARGUS on the way back."
"Why?" Felicity asked. Her face scrunched up, she could feel it, but hadn't meant to.
"I need to make arrangements for Lyla and Sara," John spoke up, getting up from the couch as well. "The threat hasn't passed…and Lyla and I NEVER take vacation days, so we're going to use some."
She immediately brightened as she looked from Diggle to Ray and then back until she settled once again on Ray. "Really?"
"Really," Ray confirmed brightly.
"Lyla's already packing," John added. "It'll be nice to have everyone together."
"Almost everyone," Felicity said looking from John to Oliver. "Thea and Roy aren't here." She didn't miss the face Oliver made. He still seemed determined to be some kind of ghost even though they all knew about him being alive. It only seemed like the next natural step would be to call Thea and Roy and have them come home for a proper reunion.
"Moving on," Roy said after it was awkward enough. "Quentin and Donna are going to take Clara and Alex to the bookstore while Oliver escorts you, Etta, and Liv to wherever you want to go."
Felicity sighed, she understood what they were doing. The kids were in pairs, which would make it easier to watch them, but there was a problem. "Etta's going to want to go to the bookstore, too."
"It's safer this way," Quentin spoke up now. "I'd rather them not go out at all, but they'll just end up with cabin fever and drive us all crazy."
Felicity bit her bottom lip and thought about it. Maybe they could go to the other bookstore or something for Etta. Felicity just didn't want Etta to feel like she pulled the short straw. "I know you're right."
"The girls will just be happy to leave the house, Sweetie," Donna told her.
Her mother was right.
"Are we okay then?" Ray asked as he stared at her, waiting for her response.
Felicity nodded. "Just be careful." She pulled him to her for a kiss.
"Careful, Daddy!" Liv chirped up.
Quentin chuckled before scooping up the littlest one and carrying her off towards the bedrooms. "I'll make sure the girls are getting ready."
"I am going to go put on a tie and grab my jacket before I head out," Ray told her. He was smiling brightly before another quick kiss. "Don't worry, everything's going to be fine."
But she DID worry.
It was hard for her NOT to worry.
Ray always had a way to distract her, though.
Flashback
Felicity sat in the Foundry, Ray tinkering with the ATOM suit. Even though he didn't take it out often, he DID take it out and it SHOULD work properly when it DID go out. She looked over to watch him. Diggle, Laurel, and Roy were out there and at the moment, they didn't need her. Day dreaming seemed like a good idea. The only thing was that she wasn't daydreaming about Ray. He'd been so wonderful with her. He didn't push or ask questions, he just accepted whatever she rambled or babbled and that was it. He accepted that she needed space and when she didn't. So, why wasn't he the one that she was thinking about?
Oliver.
It had been several months now since Oliver had left to go to face Ra's al Ghul. Every time she was in the Foundry, she always found herself remembering the moment he left. About her telling him that she knew better than to even try to ask him to stay. It was Thea. There was no way that Oliver couldn't go if it meant keeping Thea safe. How he'd smiled and told her that there were two things that he knew for sure: that he would do anything for Thea and that he loved her. He'd kissed her forehead and she'd gripped his shirt, not wanting to let him go.
Malcolm Merlyn.
He was still in Starling City. They'd been doing the best they could to get him away from Thea, but it wasn't easy. Oliver hadn't explained what was going on to Thea because he'd assumed that he'd be back and she wouldn't be the wiser. So, it hadn't been easy on her when they'd explained exactly why Oliver wasn't back yet. Felicity had to explain it to Thea, along with Roy, for fear that Merlyn would put some sick twist on it. The explanation meant that they also had to break the hard news as to WHY Oliver had gone to Ra's…why they couldn't just send Merlyn off to die…that Thea had been the one that killed Sara. Two things that Felicity had felt like Thea HAD to know other than all of that, that Oliver loved her dearly and that none of this was her fault.
Hope.
It was something that Felicity had tried to cling to and she felt even more obligated to do so because of Thea. To her, it felt like Diggle and Roy had already given up. Laurel seemed certain that Oliver would return 'from the dead' like he'd returned from Lian Yu and she liked to believe that. Felicity just hoped that it didn't take five years. The memories were the hardest, though. They haunted her and she spent far too much time in the Foundry. Maybe that's why she'd been so okay with her relationship with Ray. They weren't really dating, but they weren't just friends…it was some grey area in between.
"Hey. You okay?"
Felicity snapped out of it and found herself wiping away tears. "Yeah… Yeah… I just… I was thinking—"
"You looked far away," Ray told her as he moved towards her. "Like Narnia or Middle Earth…or somewhere equally as far and mythical."
For a brief moment, she allowed herself a smile and a brief laugh.
"Did you eat dinner?" Ray asked as he moved the other computer chair over so that he could sit next to her. Obviously, he felt like he needed to set aside his work on ATOM to chat with her, normally she'd be content with being haunted by memories of Oliver while waiting for those in the field to check in with her, but tonight…tonight she felt the need to actually have someone close even if there wasn't a lot of talking going on.
"No."
"Me either."
"It's already late," she pointed out.
The only real meal that Felicity had had at a 'normal' time since Oliver had gone to face Ra's al Ghul for his duel to the death had been lunch. Even then, she didn't always eat it. It was normally only when Ray or Diggle had decided to come and sit in her office with her or to take her out. There was something about having them there that had made her feel obligated to eat. Which she supposed meant that she should thank them for making sure that she was eating. Breakfast, though, normally consisted of coffee (LOTS of coffee) and picking at some kind of bagel or pastry. Dinner…if she ate it…was normally caffeine in some form and then fast food (if someone picked it up).
Tonight, she just didn't feel like eating. Being in the Foundry made her feel like wishing that she could go out into the field. Deep down, Felicity knew that that was a bad choice on so many different fronts, but there was still a want for it. To be out there, risking her lives for the city…just like the others were. Of course, she'd been the one who had pretty much benched Ray…so that just seemed hypercritical if she were to do it.
"I was thinking that maybe…since it IS so late…that we could have breakfast once everyone is in for the night," Ray suggested. "There's that diner by your house…stays open twenty-four hours…the food is greasy…and the coffee is horrible…but it's quiet…and they have pie. Who doesn't love pie?"
Felicity was going to say 'no', but pie sounded good.
"Tell me about this pie…"
/Flashback
"You okay?"
"Nervous," Felicity told him honestly. They'd talked to the girls and Alex had volunteered to go with her and Oliver so that Etta could go to the bookstore with Clara. Ray and John had left, Quentin and her mother were waiting on Etta, and Felicity was just dragging her feet about leaving. Taking her kids out into the world when there were people gunning for them was absolutely terrifying.
"Hey, it's going to be fine," Oliver whispered and stilled her from her pacing. He pulled her into his arms, squeezing her for a moment, he looked down at her. "Do I ever promise you anything?"
Felicity stared up at him and it was like it was just them. She forgot about everything for a moment. "No," she breathed.
Oliver had never promised her, not even when she'd asked him to…because he'd never wanted to break a promise to her. As much as she appreciated that, she wished that he could have promised her just the same…even if it wasn't something that he couldn't keep. That moment, the moment that he'd left her in the Foundry for what she'd thought would be the last time she'd seen him. The fact that he'd finally told her that he loved her, the kiss to her forehead, the smile on his face…that had taken her some time to get past. For that moment to STOP haunting her. Now, here he was…back…stirring up memories and feelings that she thought she'd gotten over.
"So, understand how serious I am right now," Oliver said slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. "I PROMISE you, I will let no harm come to you, Alex, or Liv."
And she believed him.
How could she not?
Really, she didn't doubt it. All of the times that she'd gone out as bait or been in the field in some way…even if she'd been kidnapped in some process…Oliver had always come for her. He'd always made sure that she was safe…that no REAL harm ever came to her. Felicity really wasn't sure how to take what he had said. She loved him for it, but it confused her. All of that time that she cared about him before, when he was the Arrow, and NOW he chose to make this kind of promise?
Her mind reeled as she tried to make sense of what was happening. If it wasn't something so new and oddly shocking, then it wouldn't distract her so much…the difference in his actions. Oliver had never promised her. Never. He'd gone away, been killed by Ra's al Ghul, brought back, and forced to serve the League of Assassins. Oliver had been forced to be a killer…a murderer…again…for the last five years. He'd changed, not deep down, but he'd still changed. So, this sudden change…it scared her. Opening her mouth to speak, she found that she couldn't get out the words that she wanted to say.
One of Oliver's hands came up and brushed some of her hair away from her face. He seemed all of the sudden, so close. She just stared at him, it was still so weird to her that he was there. It had been a couple of days and the fact that Oliver was alive hadn't quite fully sunk in yet. News like that, she knew was shocking…because it still was to her, but it was like she just couldn't accept it. Maybe it was because she was still half expecting to wake and find him gone. For him to just disappear again in the League garb without a word. For her to be heartbroken all over again…and she didn't think she could handle that, so she was trying to protect herself…her heart…her soul…her sanity.
It was like he read her mind, maybe she was just that transparent…or maybe he could read her. Whatever it was, it took her breath away. Oliver's brow furrelled and he looked extremely serious. "Felicity, I'm not going to leave you. Not again. Not unless you want me to. I will be here for as long as you want…or close because I'm sure people are getting sick of me sleeping on the couch," he added with a slight smile. "But I am not going to go back to Ra's or Nanda Parbat. I'm not going to just disappear back into the darkness. I can't promise you that I'll see Thea or be someone who can function in society…because let's face it, before…after Lian Yu…it was hard enough for me. I can just promise you not to leave and to protect you…to protect your girls…to protect your family."
She couldn't breathe.
She couldn't think.
She couldn't speak.
She just stared, her eyes filling with tears as relief hit her.
He wasn't going to leave.
She could still fight for his soul.
There was still a chance.
Oliver pulled her into his arms and she clung to him, her fingers digging into the back of the t-shirt he was wearing. She squeezed her eyes shut and just savored that moment as he held her. It was like her mind and heart were finally reconciling the truth about Oliver being back. That he wasn't going to just turn around and leave again, he was there to stay. Felicity wasn't about to lose another person who was precious to her. He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her forehead, but it didn't last for long as she was dragged away from Oliver so fast that Felicity almost tumbled backwards and to the ground.
It took her a minute to process what had happened.
Blinking, Felicity stared at Oliver and then over at who was now grasping her arm. What the hell was going on? Donna Smoak looked pissed, but not as pissed as Felicity was. She was about to say something when her mother beat her to it.
"What the HELL do you think you two think you're doing?! Have you absolutely lost your minds?!" Donna practically wailed.
Felicity's eyes went wide and she looked to Oliver and then back to her mother. It was then that she noticed that Quentin and the girls were staring at them. She and Ray hardly ever fought and when they did, it didn't involve yelling or screaming, but everything they solved privately and behind closed doors. "We are not doing this here," Felicity said through gritted teeth as she looked at angrily at her mother.
"Nan mad," she heard Liv say.
Normally, she tried to keep her mother out of her bedroom, but right now that seemed unavoidable. "We'll be right back," Felicity told everyone and then finally looked to Oliver. He almost looked guilty and she felt bad that their moment…the moment that they were finally feeling like things were falling back into place with them, that her mother had to ruin it. Could she even possibly explain to her mother what she'd done? Would she care? What the hell was her problem anyway?
She headed down the hall, her mother right on her heels, as they headed for the master bedroom. Felicity swung the door open, marched in, held it open, and then closed it swiftly once her mother was inside. Felicity pressed her back to the door and glared at her mother. "What the HELL were you doing?!" Felicity asked immediately.
Her mother had obviously lost it.
First the baby clothes and now this.
"What the HELL was I doing?!" Donna echoed. "What the hell were YOU doing?! WITH Oliver?!"
"He's my FRIEND, Mom! You KNOW that!" Felicity tried to explain, trying to keep as calm as possible.
"You and I know you have feelings for that man! You can't follow them, Felicity! It's not fair! It's not fair to anyone! Not you! Not him! Certainly not Ray or the girls!"
"It's not like THAT!"
"Don't kid yourself, Felicity…I see how you two look at each other…how he held you and how he kissed you!"
Sucking in a deep breath, she silently counted until five before finally replying as she pointed to her forehead. "It wasn't on the lips, Mom! It wasn't anything intimate!"
"Forehead kisses are pretty intimate."
Felicity was fairly sure that her mother could find reason in why a handshake was inappropriate. "It's NONE of YOUR concern!"
"It is!"
"How?!"
"Because someone has to talk sense into you!"
"Mom!" she shouted, getting angry now. Felicity didn't think that she was out of line as far as moments ago with Oliver. She was secure in the relationship she had with Ray and even though she and Oliver had once had something…she wasn't going to give up her marriage or her children. "Stay out of it!"
"I'm thinking of You! Ray! The girls!"
"So am I!" Felicity argued. "Do you REALLY think that Ray would allow Oliver to stay here or to escort me out AGAIN if he felt like something would happen? If he thought for even a moment that Oliver and I were having some kind of ridiculous affair?!"
"You might not see it, Felicity," Donna said and was deadly serious. "I'm not saying that you're doing it on purpose…but what I saw…that would be confusing for the girls… They've been through enough the last couple of days without seeing you and Oliver like THAT!"
"If they have questions—"
"That's the THING, Felicity!" Donna snapped and moved until she was just an inch from Felicity. "They SHOULDN'T have questions! You're always reminding me about how important it is that those girls are all treated equally and how especially Alex worries about how being a part of this family…just think about what seeing THAT would do to HER!" Donna shook her head. "You and Ray are something special and you have the perfect family. You're one lucky girl! Oliver is a distraction! You're not some little girl anymore! You're married! You're a wife! You're a mother!" Her words were sharp and hard. "Oliver Queen is a FRIEND! He's not the man that would give you the world if you asked for it! I don't care if he died and came back! You saw him, he's not dead anymore, you got to talk to him…now let him creep back into whatever hell hole he crawled out of! LET HIM GO!"
Tears fell down her face. It wasn't because any of her mother's words felt true. Felicity swore that she wasn't doing anything wrong. She would have hugged Oliver in front of Ray and she wouldn't have felt awkward having Oliver kiss her forehead in front of her husband either. She knew that Diggle could do the SAME thing and that her mother would have any problem with it. It was only because it was Oliver. It was because her mother knew about how she cared about Oliver and how she'd once loved him…and mourned him. How Oliver Queen had once broken her heart and it had taken her so much to mend it…
Donna huffed. "Now. I'm going to go out there. Quentin and I are going to take Etta and Clara to the bookstore and ice cream or whatever… I suggest that you figure out how to say goodbye to Oliver and get back to the life that you had last week. Make a plan and get on that freaking jet to Switzerland." She pushed past Felicity and exited the bedroom, slamming the door as she went.
Sinking to the floor, Felicity covered her face and just cried. For a moment, doubt seeped into her. Was she really betraying Ray? Was she hurting her children? Was it cheating? Was she an awful wife? Was she a horrible mother? Could she not have Ray and Oliver BOTH in her life? Could she not love them both? The love was different, but it was there. What was so wrong with that? Ray was understanding and she KNEW that if he'd had any questions about Oliver's role in her life, then it would have already been brought up.
There were few people who could shatter her. To force doubts and 'what ifs' into her head. Her mother was at the top of that list. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stop worrying that her mother was right, no matter how many times she told herself that her mother was wrong. The kernel of doubt still remained.
Flashback
"You don't HAVE to stay late, you know."
"I know," she whispered.
"Are you ever going to really tell me what happened? Who you lost?"
"Someone I loved."
"I gathered that," Ray told her.
They were both quiet for a while as she just watched Ray work. Felicity had finished up her work, her assistant had left, and then she'd found her way to Ray's office. He was tinkering and sometimes she found it comforting to just be in his presence and there was something comforting about watching him. Of course, a lot of times, she'd watch him struggle and then the next morning she'd have his problem fixed in a snap (Ray tended to frown at that part and then go on to explain that it was something he'd been trying to resolve for some time).
"But you don't talk about him."
That was true.
Oliver.
The truth was, they didn't even say his name. Felicity had avoided all conversations about Oliver and the Arrow, it had seemed like it had been enough for the others to keep quiet about him as well. It was just too painful. Felicity already relived enough memories on a daily basis in the Foundry…or even there in the building that was once Queen Consolidated.
He was everywhere.
Felicity kept her tears that threatened to fall and give her away at bay. It wasn't easy, but she was getting better at it. She really didn't have a huge group of people to talk to and that probably made it harder. Things were still awkward between her and the team. When she finally spoke, she was quiet and calm. Her voice was gentle and curious. "Why don't you ever talk about Anna?"
"Touché."
Ray gave her a sad smile. She wasn't trying to be mean, she figured that it was a valid question. He'd told her about Anna…and that had been it. No other discussions, no other anything. It was almost like Anna never existed. Maybe it was easier to deal with life that way, to think that the person who burned a huge hole in your heart and soul never existed… Felicity was fairly sure that no matter how hard she tried, that trying to forget Oliver just wasn't going to happen. He would always be there and in all honesty, Felicity didn't WANT to forget or banish him from her memory.
"Tell me something about this mystery man," Ray requested.
Felicity thought about his request for a moment. "He used to lie to me…about ridiculous things…"
"That sounds…weird…and creepy…and…" Ray looked at her confused. "And it sounds like you were okay with him lying to you. Most people—"
"He just sucked at cover stories," she admitted. "He brought in a bullet ridden laptop for me to pull info from…and told me he just spilled coffee on it."
"But…i had bullet holes in it," Ray said slowly and then shook his head. "What IQ did this guy have?"
Felicity blurted out a short laugh. "That's not kind…or fair… I suck at cover stories, too," she admitted.
"You've had to give cover stories before?"
Nodding, she shrugged. "I'll let you know now. If there's ever a need for a cover story and Diggle's with us, let him do it."
Ray chuckled. "Okay, noted." He paused for a moment. "So, did you just accept the bullet holes were somehow from coffee? Was it acidic coffee?"
"No," Felicity told him. "I pointed out the bullet holes…he came back with his coffee shop being in a bad neighborhood."
Ray laughed more. "Okay, that's lame."
"Could you have come up with something better?" she half challenged.
Silence.
"Okay, no."
Brightening, she just stared at him for a moment. "Maybe I just like being the smartest person in the room…"
Ray beamed. "I definitely appreciate your intelligence."
"I'm glad that someone does." Felicity looked down at her hands folded in her lap before her fingers played with the light pink fabric of the hem of her dress. Her voice had been sad and distant. Right now, the REAL truth was…even though Team Arrow was reunited and another person strong, but she still felt distanced from everyone except Ray. Maybe it was because Ray was more of an intellectual equal, they had more in common, or maybe just because he hadn't been involved with Team Arrow when Oliver was on the team.
"Why do you say it like that?"
"Because…except at MIT…and some times here and there…I've often felt like I'm not appreciated in this world," Felicity confessed. "And I'm not trying to sound like everyone needs to notice me, in fact…I LIKE being invisible. It's just…sometimes everything up here," Felicity said as she tapped the side of her head. "It seems wasted…like it might be better if I was just like everyone else…"
"Felicity Smoak, I don't think you could EVER be like everyone else," Ray admitted and a moment later he was crouched down in front of her, taking her hand. "And I can tell you this, no one that actually KNOWS you…would wish such an awful thing upon you."
A small smile graced her lips as she rolled her head just a little bit until she was looking right at Ray. She reached out and took his hand. "You're sweet, you know that?"
"It makes up for some things," he teased.
Seriousness crossed his face and Felicity wasn't sure how to take that. "You're a good man, Ray," Felicity whispered. "Even though we had a rough start…I'm glad that we became friends."
"Me too," Ray told her. He was quiet for a moment. "You know… Some people might see Felicity Smoak on paper or just…talk to you and think that your brain is your best asset, but I'd argue that it isn't…"
Felicity just stared at him.
He reached out and poked her. "It's your heart, Felicity." Ray smiled at her. "I know that we really haven't known each other as long as you've known Diggle or Roy or Laurel, but I see you with them… I see how you mourn the loss of this mystery person you loved. I see how passionate you are…"
"I'll make sure I remember to use that word next time Diggle doesn't like my decision on doing something where I feel like I'm saving them," Felicity said.
Ray smiled and dropped his hand to hers. He was teasing now. "You know, if you're hanging around…hoping that I'm going to take you for breakfast again…last time was eventful enough…"
She didn't know exactly WHY, but she was beaming. "You didn't like the pancake festival?!" she teased. Felicity knew that that wasn't why he had called it 'eventful'.
"That diner is blacklisted."
Felicity just shook her head. "You might end up blacklisting ninety percent of the places there are to eat here," she told him.
He was super serious again as he squeezed her hand. "We almost lost you."
"And yet, here I am here…totally fine…" she told him, trying to keep it light. The diner they'd eaten at the week before had served Felicity something that had triggered her nut allergy. She hadn't even asked what it was, but it had freaked Ray out. Even though she'd ended up in the hospital after it had happened, Felicity had been able to pull her epi-pen from her purse before she'd passed out. From what she knew from Ray, he'd panicked for a moment and then the pen had guided him through everything and the ambulance had arrived and everything had been fine. "Next time, you won't even have to listen to the pen talk to you."
Ray frowned.
"I was actually thinking that you could come over…you know, after Foundry antics…since, we—or at least…I…should really head over there…"
"Really?"
"Really?"
"I mean about me coming over…I'm assuming you mean…to your house?"
Felicity nodded. "I'll cook. I'm not that good." She paused and made a face. "Okay, so I'm just realizing I probably don't have anything fabulous in my house…but they'll at least be an array of snacks."
"I like snacks."
"Now," Felicity said quite seriously. "The REAL question here is 'do you like dinosaurs'?"
"Dinosaurs?" Ray asked and she could tell that she'd caught him off guard. He was quiet for a moment. "Are you trying to sway me with the promise of watching 'Jurassic Park'?"
Felicity tilted her head and smiled at him. "Depending on how awake we are…we might even get through all three."
"We're definitely going to go to the red carpet event for 'Jurassic World'."
Beaming, Felicity bit her bottom lip. "You know exactly how to win a woman, you know that?"
"I was just hoping not to have someone to freak out about how awesome the movie was," Ray teased with a shrug and a smile.
/Flashback
"You okay, Mom?"
It had taken them a lot longer to leave the house. Felicity had taken the time to break down and Alex and Oliver had given her space before going to check on her. She'd not wanted either of them to see her like that, but Oliver told her that he wasn't there to take her away from Ray and that they weren't doing anything wrong and for some reason…that made her feel a little better. It had pushed her to collect herself, fix her make-up, and get herself together so that they could leave.
Felicity put on a smile for Alex. "Yeah, of course."
"You know that I'm not that stupid," Alex responded. "I heard Nan flip out… And then you and Oliver had the serious looks when you finally came out of the bedroom."
Up ahead of them, Oliver was walking with Liv. For some reason, the youngest Palmer had decided not to let Oliver out of her sight. Felicity had a feeling it had something to do with the fact that he told her Arrow stories. For a moment, she just watched them. "Nan is…she's not a bad person… Sometimes she just jumps to conclusions…and she gets all loud…and flips out…but it was only because she cares."
"I mean, what could she possibly freak out on you and Oliver about— Oh."
"I swear you have nothing to worry about, Sweetheart," Felicity said as she put her arm around Alex and pulled her close. She kissed the side of her head and let out a soft sigh. "I don't want you to ever worry about things… Ray and I aren't going anywhere…"
"Are you pregnant?"
That caught her off guard for a moment, but she recovered quickly. She'd actually expected this question from either Alex or Clara or BOTH. Felicity sighed again. "No," she responded honestly. "Remember how I said that sometimes Nan jumps to conclusions, but that it's only because she cares?"
"Ah."
"Yes."
"I'm sort of disappointed."
"Really?"
"The more, the merrier, right?" Alex asked her with a smile.
There was something inside of her that made her feel a sense of relief. It was obvious from how Alex was acting and how she spoke about being sincerely disappointed in her response that she wasn't worried about being pushed out of their little family. "We'd need another room."
"Actually, it would just be a good excuse for Clara and I to share," Alex supplied. She shrugged. "We practically share a room as it is…"
"And we don't need to bring THAT up to Nan because she'll think it'll be okay to move in."
Alex laughed. "No, no…if she wants to move to Star City, she can live with Papa."
"Agreed."
"When ARE they getting married?"
Felicity grinned. Everyone was hoping that they'd get together. "YOU should ask them. They're avoiding that question from all adults. I bet you, Clara, and Etta could break them."
"Challenge accepted."
They walked together, no real destination in mind. It was nice to get out, Ray had been right, and Felicity probably had needed it more than she realized. That didn't mean that she'd forgotten WHY they had been holed up in the penthouse. She was on alert, but not enough so that it ruined things. Plus, she knew that Oliver was used to keeping an eye out without people realizing it and she was fairly sure she could pick up on his body language if something changed.
"We should do something," Oliver said as he looked back at them.
"We should get a movie…and a cupcake…because I love cupcakes," Alex said as she looked to Felicity. "Especially the dark chocolate good ones that have dark chocolate filling…and dark chocolate frosting…"
"What about the sprinkles?" Felicity asked, wondering why stop there when the frosting could have a topping as well. They all had sweet tooths, but it wasn't TOO often that they allowed it at home. It was normally something that they did for a reason or just because they needed it for sanity's sake.
"You and I both know that dark chocolate sprinkles are a LIE," Alex replied far too seriously.
Oliver spoke up again, "What about that one place—"
"The place you were being a stalker at?" Alex asked with a smirk on her face.
"Yes, that one."
"Mom can't have anything from there."
"I probably COULD," Felicity said. "It's just something that Ray feels is risky… They process nuts and use different nut extracts and oils… So, it would be just a matter of how good they are at keeping things from being contaminated by nut products."
"That's her long explanation at why she CAN'T have a cupcake from there."
"I really don't NEED one."
"But you know you WANT one."
Felicity just smiled at Alex and hugged her to her. "I'll survive without one. I promise."
"Is there a Ray-approved place around here?" Oliver asked curiously.
"No," they both replied.
"It's REALLY okay," Felicity told them. "I can always make some at home."
"SO not the same!" Alex wailed.
"We can still get you a box."
"Yes!"
Felicity smiled and Alex left her side to move up and lift up Liv until she was on her shoulders and walked ahead of them. She took that moment to catch up to Oliver and walk alongside him. "I know it must sound crazy…"
"No, it's smart," Oliver said.
"There were a few mishaps…after…after you left…and it REALLY freaked out Ray, especially the first time. So, we just try to be as careful as possible," she explained. Felicity had never had a problem with her nut allergy when she'd been with Team Arrow when Oliver had been around, but she felt like she needed to explain things a bit further. Plus, she felt like it showed Oliver exactly how things worked between Ray and her…that it wasn't controlling…that it was out of love and concern for her well being.
"You carry an epi-pen, though, right?"
A small smile graced her lips. It was sweet of him to ask. It was probably just so he KNEW. He'd probably assumed before. "Yes and it even talks you through the steps."
"Nifty."
"Right?"
"Mom! You know what we have to do?" Alex called back as she set Liv back down on her feet. "I need supplies."
"Are cupcakes considered a supply?" Oliver questioned.
"For the time of the uterus dragon…anything that is chocolate or sugar is DEFINITELY on that list, but I was talking more like heating pads…surf boards…firecrackers…caffeine."
"Wait…what?"
Before Felicity could explain, she and Oliver were making their way towards Liv (who had started to spin and was out of Alex's arm reach) when red flags came up when two men in black hoods came into sight. They didn't even make it close enough to grab Liv before she was scooped up and the man took off down an alley. Oliver was running after him before Felicity could even THINK. The other man went to grab Alex, but Felicity pulled her back behind her and acted out of instinct of protecting her daughter.
She tried to keep in shape and to keep herself in practice with her defensive skills, but it had been years since she'd actually had to put it to practical use. A hit connected with her stomach and she groaned and doubled over for a moment, but it didn't keep her down. Felicity connected her hits and kicks with the attacker and after what seemed like forever, he was finally on the ground. Sirens hit her ears and she sucked in air before turning to look at a very shocked look on Alex's face.
"Geez…I need to take some of those self defense classes…and maybe…archery."
It took her a moment to really process that Alex was okay and then that she needed to worry about Liv, even if Oliver went after her. That was her baby. She looked around, hoping that police had arrived already, but they weren't there. She didn't want to take Alex, but she didn't want to wait, either…she needed to know that Liv was safe.
Without taking another moment, she grabbed Alex and hurried in the direction that Liv had been taken in and Oliver had followed. The alleyway was neat and even clean, just like the rest of the city. She could see straight down it until it hit a corner. They hurried along and turned, but even then…there was no sign of Oliver or Liv. Panic was taking over, twisting her insides and making her head spin. She felt so sick and was having a hard time as they moved forward, her balance was thrown but she pushed herself.
"Where are they?!" Alex asked when they came to the next street and looked around and still didn't see them.
Tears were already falling down her cheeks and Felicity had no idea where they were. If they'd gone across the street or if they'd gone to the left or right. What if they'd put Liv into a car? Her precious little baby girl… God, she hadn't wanted to leave the house… She hadn't wanted any of them to leave… A sob escaped her lips and she pulled Alex close as she continued to look around, hoping to glimpse the familiar blonde curly head or the man that had promised her no harm would come to her family.
"Mrs. Palmer?"
"Mom?"
"Mrs. Palmer, can you come with us?"
Mom?"
Felicity couldn't breathe, but she was being guided back down the alleyway and she was panicking like crazy. Why weren't they back? Police. She realized that the police had arrived and that they were escorting her back.
Olivia.
She was out there.
She shouldn't have left the penthouse.
It was her fault that her girls had been put in danger.
She knew better.
"Mom?"
"Felicity? Sweetheart?!"
The reality of the world came into focus as she realized that they were back where they'd started. It seemed like nearly all of Star City PD were there. Captain Quentin Lance came running up to him, concern written all over her face.
"Where's Clara and Etta?!" Alex asked before she could.
"They're safe," Quentin confirmed and took a breath. "They're at the police station. We were close when I got the call. They're protected. Donna's with them."
She couldn't breathe.
"Felicity?!"
"Mom?!"
Felicity was on the ground, still nauseous, her whole world spinning. Quentin was crouching down in front of her and he was speaking, but she couldn't hear his words. She knew that she shouldn't be the one out of control. Alex needed to be assured that everything was okay. Felicity needed to be brave, but sometimes…being brave was just too hard.
"He promised," she whispered.
How could she let this happen?
She should have been able to protect them both.
"Who?" Quentin asked.
Alex was hugging her, sitting there on the sidewalk. "You're talking about Oliver?" She paused. "He's going to be back with Liv. He's the Arrow, right?"
"He's not the Arrow anymore…" she whispered as she just stared off into the distance.
"Mom? Tell me a story?"
"Alex—"
"Please?"
Her focus moved to Alex and for a moment, she took in Quentin dishing out orders to his officers. Felicity got to her feet all of the sudden, determination coursing through her. Her hands curled into fists at her sides and she started towards Quentin. She wanted to ask him for a gun, to go and hunt for Liv herself. All she could think as she tried to push the thought of how stupid the outings were, was that she and Ray really needed to get all the girls something that was fashioned with GPS. The older girls all had phones, but those would be the first things discarded if they were taken at all. Liv had nothing they could track.
"Mama! Mama! Mama!"
Liv's voice broke Felicity's resolve to go out and hunt down those responsible for the kidnapping of her youngest daughter and the attack on their family. She turned to see Liv running down the alley that they'd walked down not long before. Several feet behind, Oliver was dragging along the man who had taken Liv in the first place, alive.
"Baby!" Felicity breathed and closed the distance between her and the littlest Palmer. She scooped her up, more tears falling, as she squeezed Liv until she complained. "Mama's so sorry! I love you so much! I'm so glad that you're okay."
"Mama…Ollie Arrow."
"See," Alex said and then hugged them both, Felicity put her arm around the eldest and squeezed them all together. "Even Liv knows about the Arrow."
"Let's just go home," Felicity told them as she kissed both of their heads.
Everyday, they all grew. They all knew more than the day before. The girls were all growing up so fast. It seemed like just yesterday that they brought home Etta, Clara, and Alex and even less time since Liv fit in newborn size clothing.
So much time had passed…
Etta, Clara, and Alex were in Clara's room with her mother while Liv was fast asleep on her and Ray's bed. Felicity just hadn't been able to let her out of her sight. It had been hard enough to let her out of her arms. She felt so horrible for feeling so much more of a need to hold onto Liv than the other girls. Was she a bad mom? Was she a horrible person? Even though Liv was the only who was her flesh and blood, she'd sworn to love all the girls the same. Was she not doing that? Did Etta, Clara, and Alex feel like she didn't love them as much as Liv?
She'd taken the pillows and made a little nest in the middle of the bed so that Liv wouldn't roll out. Looking at her sleeping angel had only made her cry over and over again, she was exhausted from all of the emotion and upset. Felicity had moved herself so that her back was to the door that led out into the hallway. The events of the day tumbled through her head and though she was still emotional, she couldn't bring herself to cry anymore.
Was her mother right?
Did she need to cut ties with Oliver?
Did she need to send him away?
Was Team Arrow reuniting ruining her life?
Was her mother wrong?
Did it matter right now?
Had Felicity cheated on Ray?
Was she a bad wife?
Was she a bad mother?
Was she a horrible person?
No matter how much the Palmer family had done for Star City, it seemed like deep down it was still the city that they'd fought for all those years before. Maybe the Arrow was still needed. Maybe the ATOM was still needed. Maybe all of them…maybe they all still had jobs to do.
Arrow.
ATOM.
Arsenal.
Black Canary.
Oracle.
Diggle.
Felicity closed her eyes and thought about Barry in Central City. Even now, he and his team…they were still Team Flash. They were still bringing in metahumans, though they'd expanded their operations. They didn't just stay in Central City, they went where they were needed. Somehow, they still made it all work. They were all happy and leading somewhat normal lives. She had no idea how they did it. Was it just because Central City was the fun one? Was it because their city hadn't shuddered as much? What?
There was a slight knock and Felicity's eyes opened. She'd heard his voice when he'd entered. Ray was home. He'd already checked on Etta, Clara, and Alex. He'd talked to Oliver, who was apparently still sitting on the other side of the door. Felicity had been short with him, angry even…she knew that it had been stupid. Oliver had promised to protect her family and he'd brought Liv back to her…safe and sound…and he'd brought the other attacker back. Quentin had BOTH in custody, he'd be questioning them until he found out who had hired them to kill the Palmers.
"Felicity?"
She reached up and turned the knob as she scooted out of the way of the door. Ray entered a moment later, finding her immediately and letting out a sigh as he closed the door. He looked to the bed and then looked back to her. "Why are you on the floor?" he asked gently as he crouched down in front of her. Felicity just stared for a moment, wanting to cry…but not able to.
"We thought this was all behind us…"
"What are you talking about?" Ray asked as he settled down next to her and pulled her into his arms. "The girls are all okay… They've got two guys arrested so far… YOU are safe—"
"We thought we were making the city better—"
"It is."
"Is it?"
Ray turned her in his arms, so that he could see her face, so that he could stare at her. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"It just feels like everything is falling apart."
That was the best way that she felt like she could describe it. For a moment, she'd felt like her world was being reconstructed, but today…it just felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to her life and shattered it. Last week, she had confidence in every aspect of her life. Over the last couple of years, she'd figured out how to operate with Diggle and everyone else being so far away and not really have a group of friends nearby… Now, she just didn't know how she was going to make it through the next day.
"What else is going on?"
"Ray—"
"Your mother…" He sighed and held her tighter before kissing her forehead. "I think out of every single person that has ever been in your life, that I have met, your mother is the ONLY person who can get into your head. To make you feel like the world is ending even when we have so much to celebrate."
"Celebrate?"
"I can list the practical and ridiculous…"
A small smile came to her face. He was right, though. Her mother had been better the last two years, especially, but today…today it was probably the worst Felicity could remember her mom since she'd left Las Vegas to go to MIT. Ray was right, though, her mother DID get into her head. Her mother was like the angel and devil on your shoulder in cartoons, except she was just there to shame and cast doubt.
"What did she say?" Ray asked.
They didn't keep secrets.
Sucking in a breath, she tried to make sure she was completely calm before she told him exactly what had happened. "That I was a bad wife—"
"I don't think she's allowed to judge that."
"That I'm being a bad mom—"
"How?"
She knew why he was interrupting. He was trying to poke holes in her mother's words. "Because she thinks that I'm cheating on you."
"With Oliver?"
Felicity just stared at him.
Ray shrugged. "I can't say that I'm shocked that your mother's concerned about Oliver being here. She obviously knows that you two have had feelings… Quentin has voiced his concerns to me, too."
"He was being nice to me," Felicity whispered. "He hugged me…kissed my forehead…"
"So, he was being your friend?" Ray shook his head. "Has she ever seen you with John?"
"Normally, she misses our more emotional moments," Felicity admitted. She smiled a bit and suddenly felt better.
"I'm thinking that you just need to go out there and do something crazy like kiss John's cheek…just to mess with her," Ray said seriously.
Felicity just beamed at him. "You always know what to say."
"I mean, if she wants to claim that you're cheating…you might as well really cheat, right?"
She shook her head and rolled her eyes at him.
"No, no…I got it," Ray told her before giving her a quick kiss. "We go out there. You kiss John's cheek, Oliver can kiss your forehead, and we can all like group hug… Your mom's head might explode."
"She says that I need to say goodbye to Oliver, to send him away," Felicity told him quite seriously, worrying about that. Obviously, Ray had no fear about her cheating or about Oliver or John being in her life. The fact that her mother wanted her to banish Oliver, though, was weighing heavily on her mind…that coupled with the fact that she'd been so mean to him when they'd finally gotten home.
God, she was so screwed up.
"I'm pretty sure that we voted to keep him," Ray told her. "I mean, I need someone who knows all the stories as well as you do… What happens if you lose your voice?" She knew that he was just trying to make her feel better (and she loved him all the more for it), but she hoped that he really meant it. That he was absolutely serious.
Felicity looked down at her hands in his. "I was mean to him," Felicity whispered. "I completely acted like he'd not kept his promise—"
"Promise?"
"He promised to keep all of us safe…"
"And then Liv was taken and Alex was attacked?" Ray asked and nodded his head, as if he totally understood what she was thinking. "Quentin said that you took down one and then you broke down…"
"I couldn't find them."
"I don't think I could have stayed calm, if I had been there."
"I thought she was gone. That I'd lost her."
"But she's fine. She's perfectly fine," Ray reminded. "Liv's safe. That's all that matters."
Felicity looked back up at him.
"Maybe we should invite Oliver in, we can all have a chat in private."
Before Oliver was invited in, Felicity felt like she needed to bring up one more thing. "I'm also supposed to talk to you about giving her more grandchildren," Felicity brought up. Her mother couldn't say that she didn't follow through on promises. If they were throwing everything out there, then she felt like she needed to put it out there.
Ray was quiet for a moment. "This isn't a reflection on whether or not I want more children, but I'm going to ask your mother to either go stay with Quentin or she needs to go and stay at the hotel." He paused and then continued. "Obviously, she doesn't understand that stress is not going to help with getting pregnant, pregnancy, or pretty much anything else that has to do with this family."
"She's not going to take it well."
"I'll wait, try to talk to Quentin first…maybe he can make her think it's her idea," Ray suggested.
"That's always the best plan."
Felicity knew that she had the best husband. Then. Now. Always. She held onto him and kissed him, happy that he'd banished all of her fears and doubts away. Tears fell, but they were happy ones. "You're right," she whispered. "The world isn't breaking apart…"
"Can you say that again?"
"What?" she asked and then realized what he meant. She smiled brighter and kissed him again. "You're right, Ray."
He grinned. "I never get to hear that…"
"I'll remember to say it once in a while," she teased.
"I'd appreciate that."
Ray reached out and pulled open the door. "Oliver? Can you join us, please?" He looked over at Felicity. "Your mom's really going to be freaking out, if she heard that."
After a moment, Oliver entered and Ray pushed the door shut before motioning for him to join them on the floor. Felicity was certain that he probably thought they were being special. Normally, they'd use the bed to sit on or the bench at the end of it…or the chairs that resided in the bedroom and master bathroom, but on the floor seemed like the best place for now. Felicity honestly wasn't even certain what Ray wanted to talk to Oliver about (besides, she assumed, not leaving Star City).
"You okay?" Oliver asked. He wasn't asking Ray, he was asking her. He was concerned and she could tell that he was having a hard time. Her mother could turn her whole world upside down and it seemed like Felicity still had the same affect on Oliver.
She felt sick again, without thinking, Felicity launched herself towards Oliver and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry for everything I said…I—I—I was—"
"Shh…" Oliver whispered as his hands ran up and down her back, comforting her. "I'm not mad at you… I'm glad that the girls are all okay. That you're okay. That's all that matters. I made you a promise and I will always keep it…for as long as I'm breathing."
Felicity realized it then, his promise reminded her of something. The League of Assassins. It wasn't the actual promise, but how he was saying it. When Oliver had been the Hood, he'd had a mission…he used the names in the book. When Oliver had been the Arrow, he'd had a mission to save the city. When Oliver had been The Betrayer, his mission had been to kill whomever Ra's ordered him to. Now, as…whomever he was identifying himself as (she was hoping, it was as Oliver Queen), his mission was to keep her family safe. Could she really argue with that, though? Right now, that seemed like a good enough mission. She'd push him soon enough into being the true Oliver that she knew still lived inside of him. The one that Ra's al Ghul likely thought he'd killed.
"Kiss her forehead, if you like," Ray teased. "I'm not going to fly off the handle."
"Good to know," Oliver said and kissed Felicity forehead, likely for good measure.
God, she was so lucky right now.
She had the perfect husband.
She had the perfect kids.
The perfect family.
Her mother normally wasn't crazy (normally).
She had the best extended family.
Now, Oliver was a part of it all.
Her world was better than it had been last week, she realized immediately. Felicity knew that with Lyla and Sara here, they'd just be missing Thea and Roy. If they were here, too, then they'd pretty much have the entire family back together. Of course, the latter part of that was going to take some convincing from Oliver. There was too often that he felt like he knew what was best, when he just didn't.
Felicity pulled back and settled back at Ray's side. "Thank you, for everything you did to get Liv back," Felicity told him.
"She's your BABY," Oliver said quietly. "I kept thinking that with every second that she was gone from your sight, that you had to have been experiencing unbelievable panic and worry. I kept thinking that I failed you."
"But you didn't," Felicity argued. "I didn't mean to—"
"You're a good mom, Felicity."
Silence.
"I wanted us to all talk," Ray broke the silence. "About you staying in Star City."
"I promised I would."
"But you can't just hide in the shadows."
"Why not?"
"Because you're not whoever Ra's named you, you're Oliver Queen," Felicity explained.
"He named me 'The Betrayer'."
"Thank you for not giving me the arabic version that I would likely mutilate when I repeated it, in order to argue that that was the worst name for Ra's to give to you," Felicity rattled on. "Your'e Oliver Queen. You've been gone from this world for too long."
"What could I possibly do? Be the Arrow? I'm not that man anymore."
"I was thinking more along the lines of you working for Palmer Technologies," Ray spoke up.
Felicity was certain that that would be awkward on all kinds of levels. Palmer Technologies had once been Queen Consolidated, Oliver's family's company before Ray bought it and changed the name. Ray had done great things with it, Felicity always felt like the Queen family (past, present, and future) would be proud of what they'd done for the company and the city.
"I can't be Oliver Queen," Oliver argued.
"Well, I'm just putting this out there…the girls want to adopt you…so you could always be a Palmer…"
That got a smile from Oliver.
"Or," Felicity spoke up and almost hated that she'd even thought about this. "If you really want to resume vigilante activities…The Flash IS still around. His team, they travel everywhere…wherever there's a metahuman causing problems…they go there and take care of things."
"I thought we were keeping him close?" Ray asked her. "Not sending him away?"
"I just wanted to put out options," Felicity defended as she looked from Ray and then to Oliver. "I was pretty sure there would be a lot of 'no's because I doubt that you're anymore better at not leading a team than you were the last time we teamed up with Barry…"
Oliver looked from her to Ray. "What would I do for the company?"
"Well, it'd be up to you," Ray told him. "Obviously…a personal detail is important. Most of the year, I'm not worried…but with how things are now…it's obviously a necessary thing." He paused. "But we could use help with security. John's gone over what we need to change, but the people in our security department don't have the training or the eye that you or John do… Your insight…your experience…your knowledge…it would be invaluable."
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course." Ray was quiet for a moment and then looked to her. "So? Are we doing the whole 'everyone kisses you' plan? JUST to make your mother flip out?"
"That might be dangerous, especially before figuring out a subtle way to kick her out of the penthouse for the remainder of her visit," Felicity reminded.
"Subtle, right," Ray said seriously. "We can definitely do subtle."
"Pretty sure that the girls were already lecturing Donna anyways," Oliver brought up. When they both looked his way, Oliver obviously felt obliged to continue. "Their door…was open…and they're all rather…loud." He shrugged. "I heard Alex tell your mom that she needed to stop being mean to you. That you weren't going anywhere and she shouldn't be upsetting you." He paused for a moment. "And then there was a lot of swooning about forehead kisses…they all made it out to be…extremely…" Oliver's face twisted in confusion, like he was battling out the next word. "Romantic?"
"They read a lot of books," Ray responded.
TBC…